main
iOS 9 months ago
parent 88efa8ed54
commit 8695e88e82

@ -19,7 +19,7 @@
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} }
], ],
"01.02 Home/Household.md": [ "01.02 Home/Household.md": [
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"title": "🛎 🧻 REMINDER [[Household]]: check need for toilet paper %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-02-12",
"rowNumber": 92
},
{
"title": "♻ [[Household]]: *Paper* recycling collection %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-02-13",
"rowNumber": 75
},
{ {
"title": ":bed: [[Household]] Change bedsheets %%done_del%%", "title": ":bed: [[Household]] Change bedsheets %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-02-17", "time": "2024-02-17",
"rowNumber": 100 "rowNumber": 102
},
{
"title": "🛎 🧻 REMINDER [[Household]]: check need for toilet paper %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-02-19",
"rowNumber": 93
}, },
{ {
"title": "♻ [[Household]]: *Cardboard* recycling collection %%done_del%%", "title": "♻ [[Household]]: *Cardboard* recycling collection %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-02-20", "time": "2024-02-20",
"rowNumber": 79 "rowNumber": 80
},
{
"title": "♻ [[Household]]: *Paper* recycling collection %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-02-27",
"rowNumber": 75
}, },
{ {
"title": "🛎️ :house: [[Household]]: Pay rent %%done_del%%", "title": "🛎️ :house: [[Household]]: Pay rent %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-02-29", "time": "2024-02-29",
"rowNumber": 89 "rowNumber": 90
}, },
{ {
"title": ":blue_car: [[Household]]: Change to Summer tyres @ [[Rex Automobile CH]] %%done_del%%", "title": ":blue_car: [[Household]]: Change to Summer tyres @ [[Rex Automobile CH]] %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-04-15", "time": "2024-04-15",
"rowNumber": 109 "rowNumber": 111
}, },
{ {
"title": ":blue_car: [[Household]]: Change to Winter tyres @ [[Rex Automobile CH]] %%done_del%%", "title": ":blue_car: [[Household]]: Change to Winter tyres @ [[Rex Automobile CH]] %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-10-15", "time": "2024-10-15",
"rowNumber": 110 "rowNumber": 112
}, },
{ {
"title": ":ski: [[Household]]: Organise yearly ski servicing ([[Ski Rental Zürich]]) %%done_del%%", "title": ":ski: [[Household]]: Organise yearly ski servicing ([[Ski Rental Zürich]]) %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-10-31", "time": "2024-10-31",
"rowNumber": 117 "rowNumber": 119
}, },
{ {
"title": ":blue_car: [[Household]]: Renew [road vignette](https://www.e-vignette.ch/) %%done_del%%", "title": ":blue_car: [[Household]]: Renew [road vignette](https://www.e-vignette.ch/) %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-12-20", "time": "2024-12-20",
"rowNumber": 111 "rowNumber": 113
} }
], ],
"01.03 Family/Pia Bousquié.md": [ "01.03 Family/Pia Bousquié.md": [
@ -454,15 +454,15 @@
} }
], ],
"06.02 Investments/Crypto Tasks.md": [ "06.02 Investments/Crypto Tasks.md": [
{
"title": ":chart: Check [[Nimbus]] earnings %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-02-12",
"rowNumber": 87
},
{ {
"title": ":ballot_box_with_ballot: [[Crypto Tasks]]: Vote for [[EOS]] block producers %%done_del%%", "title": ":ballot_box_with_ballot: [[Crypto Tasks]]: Vote for [[EOS]] block producers %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-03-05", "time": "2024-03-05",
"rowNumber": 72 "rowNumber": 72
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{
"title": ":chart: Check [[Nimbus]] earnings %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-03-11",
"rowNumber": 87
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], ],
"05.02 Networks/Configuring UFW.md": [ "05.02 Networks/Configuring UFW.md": [
@ -495,7 +495,7 @@
{ {
"title": ":label: [[Bookmarks - Media]]: review bookmarks %%done_del%%", "title": ":label: [[Bookmarks - Media]]: review bookmarks %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-05-07", "time": "2024-05-07",
"rowNumber": 80 "rowNumber": 92
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], ],
"00.08 Bookmarks/Bookmarks - Admin & services.md": [ "00.08 Bookmarks/Bookmarks - Admin & services.md": [
@ -508,7 +508,7 @@
"00.08 Bookmarks/Bookmarks - Obsidian.md": [ "00.08 Bookmarks/Bookmarks - Obsidian.md": [
{ {
"title": ":label: [[Bookmarks - Obsidian]]: Review bookmarks %%done_del%%", "title": ":label: [[Bookmarks - Obsidian]]: Review bookmarks %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-02-15", "time": "2024-05-15",
"rowNumber": 319 "rowNumber": 319
} }
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@ -599,11 +599,6 @@
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"rowNumber": 129 "rowNumber": 129
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{
"title": ":confetti_ball: :love_letter: [[@Life Admin|Life Admin]]: Saint Valentin %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-02-14",
"rowNumber": 142
},
{ {
"title": ":telephone: [[@Life Admin|Admin]]: Switch from Swisscom to Sunrise", "title": ":telephone: [[@Life Admin|Admin]]: Switch from Swisscom to Sunrise",
"time": "2024-03-31", "time": "2024-03-31",
@ -612,12 +607,17 @@
{ {
"title": ":confetti_ball: :mother_christmas: [[@Life Admin|Life Admin]]: Saint Nicolas %%done_del%%", "title": ":confetti_ball: :mother_christmas: [[@Life Admin|Life Admin]]: Saint Nicolas %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-12-06", "time": "2024-12-06",
"rowNumber": 143 "rowNumber": 144
}, },
{ {
"title": ":confetti_ball: :crown: [[@Life Admin|Life Admin]]: Epiphanie ([[Galette des rois]]) %%done_del%%", "title": ":confetti_ball: :crown: [[@Life Admin|Life Admin]]: Epiphanie ([[Galette des rois]]) %%done_del%%",
"time": "2025-01-06", "time": "2025-01-06",
"rowNumber": 141 "rowNumber": 141
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{
"title": ":confetti_ball: :love_letter: [[@Life Admin|Life Admin]]: Saint Valentin %%done_del%%",
"time": "2025-02-14",
"rowNumber": 142
} }
], ],
"00.01 Admin/Calendars/2023-01-04.md": [ "00.01 Admin/Calendars/2023-01-04.md": [
@ -728,14 +728,14 @@
"00.08 Bookmarks/Bookmarks - Social Media.md": [ "00.08 Bookmarks/Bookmarks - Social Media.md": [
{ {
"title": ":label: [[Bookmarks - Social Media]]: Review bookmarks %%done_del%%", "title": ":label: [[Bookmarks - Social Media]]: Review bookmarks %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-02-14", "time": "2024-05-14",
"rowNumber": 79 "rowNumber": 79
} }
], ],
"01.07 Animals/2023-07-13 Health check.md": [ "01.07 Animals/2023-07-13 Health check.md": [
{ {
"title": ":racehorse: [[@Sally|Sally]], [[2023-07-13 Health check|Note]]: Check front hoofs healing", "title": ":racehorse: [[@Sally|Sally]], [[2023-07-13 Health check|Note]]: Check front hoofs healing",
"time": "2024-02-13", "time": "2024-02-27",
"rowNumber": 53 "rowNumber": 53
} }
], ],
@ -851,11 +851,6 @@
"time": "2024-02-15", "time": "2024-02-15",
"rowNumber": 93 "rowNumber": 93
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{
"title": ":snowflake: :partying_face: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: ZüriCarneval weekend %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-02-15",
"rowNumber": 114
},
{ {
"title": "🎭:frame_with_picture: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: Check out exhibitions at the [Rietberg](https://rietberg.ch/en/) %%done_del%%", "title": "🎭:frame_with_picture: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: Check out exhibitions at the [Rietberg](https://rietberg.ch/en/) %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-03-15", "time": "2024-03-15",
@ -864,12 +859,12 @@
{ {
"title": ":hibiscus: :partying_face: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: Sechseläuten %%done_del%%", "title": ":hibiscus: :partying_face: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: Sechseläuten %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-04-15", "time": "2024-04-15",
"rowNumber": 115 "rowNumber": 116
}, },
{ {
"title": ":hibiscus: :runner: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: Zürich Marathon %%done_del%%", "title": ":hibiscus: :runner: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: Zürich Marathon %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-04-21", "time": "2024-04-21",
"rowNumber": 125 "rowNumber": 126
}, },
{ {
"title": ":hibiscus: :fork_and_knife: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: Book a restaurant with terrace for the season: [[Albishaus]], [[Restaurant Boldern]], [[Zur Buech]], [[Jardin Zürichberg]], [[Bistro Rigiblick]], [[Portofino am See]], [[La Réserve|La Muña]] %%done_del%%", "title": ":hibiscus: :fork_and_knife: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: Book a restaurant with terrace for the season: [[Albishaus]], [[Restaurant Boldern]], [[Zur Buech]], [[Jardin Zürichberg]], [[Bistro Rigiblick]], [[Portofino am See]], [[La Réserve|La Muña]] %%done_del%%",
@ -884,7 +879,7 @@
{ {
"title": ":hibiscus: :partying_face: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: Zürich Pride Festival %%done_del%%", "title": ":hibiscus: :partying_face: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: Zürich Pride Festival %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-06-15", "time": "2024-06-15",
"rowNumber": 116 "rowNumber": 117
}, },
{ {
"title": ":sunny: :movie_camera: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: Check out programmation of the [Zurich's finest open-air cinema | Allianz Cinema -](https://zuerich.allianzcinema.ch/en) %%done_del%%", "title": ":sunny: :movie_camera: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: Check out programmation of the [Zurich's finest open-air cinema | Allianz Cinema -](https://zuerich.allianzcinema.ch/en) %%done_del%%",
@ -894,22 +889,22 @@
{ {
"title": ":sunny: :partying_face: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: Check out Seenachtfest Rapperswil-Jona %%done_del%%", "title": ":sunny: :partying_face: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: Check out Seenachtfest Rapperswil-Jona %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-08-01", "time": "2024-08-01",
"rowNumber": 119 "rowNumber": 120
}, },
{ {
"title": ":sunny: :runner: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: Check out tickets to Weltklasse Zürich %%done_del%%", "title": ":sunny: :runner: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: Check out tickets to Weltklasse Zürich %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-08-01", "time": "2024-08-01",
"rowNumber": 126 "rowNumber": 127
}, },
{ {
"title": ":sunny: :partying_face: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: Street Parade %%done_del%%", "title": ":sunny: :partying_face: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: Street Parade %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-08-10", "time": "2024-08-10",
"rowNumber": 117 "rowNumber": 118
}, },
{ {
"title": ":sunny: :partying_face: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: Zürich Openair %%done_del%%", "title": ":sunny: :partying_face: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: Zürich Openair %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-08-23", "time": "2024-08-23",
"rowNumber": 118 "rowNumber": 119
}, },
{ {
"title": ":maple_leaf: :movie_camera: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: Check out Zürich Film Festival %%done_del%%", "title": ":maple_leaf: :movie_camera: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: Check out Zürich Film Festival %%done_del%%",
@ -945,6 +940,11 @@
"title": ":snowflake: :swimmer: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: Samichlausschwimmen %%done_del%%", "title": ":snowflake: :swimmer: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: Samichlausschwimmen %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-12-08", "time": "2024-12-08",
"rowNumber": 113 "rowNumber": 113
},
{
"title": ":snowflake: :partying_face: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: ZüriCarneval weekend %%done_del%%",
"time": "2025-02-15",
"rowNumber": 114
} }
], ],
"03.02 Travels/Geneva.md": [ "03.02 Travels/Geneva.md": [
@ -985,13 +985,6 @@
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"00.01 Admin/Calendars/2024-01-17.md": [
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"title": "12:53 :judge: [[@Life Admin|Admin]]: Encheres a suivre",
"time": "2024-02-13",
"rowNumber": 104
}
],
"00.01 Admin/Calendars/2024-01-22.md": [ "00.01 Admin/Calendars/2024-01-22.md": [
{ {
"title": "16:06 :ski: [[@Lifestyle|Lifestyle]]: Look for a ski bag & a ski boot bag", "title": "16:06 :ski: [[@Lifestyle|Lifestyle]]: Look for a ski bag & a ski boot bag",
@ -1020,17 +1013,17 @@
"rowNumber": 83 "rowNumber": 83
} }
], ],
"00.01 Admin/Calendars/2024-02-08.md": [ "00.01 Admin/Calendars/2024-02-09.md": [
{ {
"title": "15:48 :judge: [[@Life Admin|Admin]]: Enchères à suivre", "title": "16:38 :judge: [[@Life Admin|Admin]]: Enchères à suivre",
"time": "2024-02-15", "time": "2024-02-21",
"rowNumber": 103 "rowNumber": 103
} }
], ],
"00.01 Admin/Calendars/2024-02-09.md": [ "00.01 Admin/Calendars/2024-02-14.md": [
{ {
"title": "16:38 :judge: [[@Life Admin|Admin]]: Enchères à suivre", "title": "21:40 :clapper: [[@Cinematheque|Cinematheque]]: Download 'All of Us Strangers'",
"time": "2024-02-21", "time": "2024-02-28",
"rowNumber": 103 "rowNumber": 103
} }
] ]

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"00.03 News/Did Drug Traffickers Funnel Millions of Dollars to Mexican President López Obradors First Campaign.md",
"00.01 Admin/Calendars/2024-02-08.md",
"00.03 News/Ripples of hate.md",
"00.03 News/Bear Hibernation Uncovering Black Bear Denning Secrets in Arkansas.md",
"03.04 Cinematheque/@Cinematheque.md",
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@ -102,7 +102,7 @@ This section does serve for quick memos.
   
- [x] 09:58 :minidisc: [[@Vinyls|Vinyls]]: Buy cleaning kit 📅 2024-01-30 ✅ 2024-01-29 - [x] 09:58 :minidisc: [[@Vinyls|Vinyls]]: Buy cleaning kit 📅 2024-01-30 ✅ 2024-01-29
- [ ] 12:53 :judge: [[@Life Admin|Admin]]: Encheres a suivre 📅2024-02-13 - [x] 12:53 :judge: [[@Life Admin|Admin]]: Encheres a suivre 📅 2024-02-13 ✅ 2024-02-13
- [x] 12:54 :judge: [[@Life Admin|Admin]]: Enchere a mettre 📅 2024-01-21 ✅ 2024-01-21 - [x] 12:54 :judge: [[@Life Admin|Admin]]: Enchere a mettre 📅 2024-01-21 ✅ 2024-01-21
- [x] 19:48 :judge: [[@Life Admin|Admin]]: Enchere à suivre 📅 2024-01-29 ✅ 2024-01-27 - [x] 19:48 :judge: [[@Life Admin|Admin]]: Enchere à suivre 📅 2024-01-29 ✅ 2024-01-27
- [x] 20:35 :judge: [[@Life Admin|Admin]]: Enchere à suivre 📅 2024-01-27 ✅ 2024-01-27 - [x] 20:35 :judge: [[@Life Admin|Admin]]: Enchere à suivre 📅 2024-01-27 ✅ 2024-01-27

@ -101,7 +101,7 @@ hide task count
This section does serve for quick memos. This section does serve for quick memos.
   
- [ ] 15:48 :judge: [[@Life Admin|Admin]]: Enchères à suivre 📅2024-02-15 - [x] 15:48 :judge: [[@Life Admin|Admin]]: Enchères à suivre 📅 2024-02-15 ✅ 2024-02-15
%% --- %% %% --- %%

@ -16,9 +16,9 @@ Stress: 25
FrontHeadBar: 5 FrontHeadBar: 5
EarHeadBar: 30 EarHeadBar: 30
BackHeadBar: 20 BackHeadBar: 20
Water: 0.25 Water: 2.45
Coffee: 4 Coffee: 4
Steps: Steps: 6352
Weight: Weight:
Ski: Ski:
IceSkating: IceSkating:

@ -0,0 +1,136 @@
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title: "🗒 Daily Note"
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date: 2024-02-12
Date: 2024-02-12
DocType: Note
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Sleep: 6.5
Happiness: 85
Gratefulness: 90
Stress: 25
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Water: 3
Coffee: 4
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Ski:
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Riding:
Racket:
Football:
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%% Parent:: [[@Life Admin]] %%
---
[[2024-02-11|<< 🗓 Previous ]] &emsp; &emsp; &emsp; [[@Main Dashboard|Back]] &emsp; &emsp; &emsp; [[2024-02-13|🗓 Next >>]]
---
&emsp;
```button
name Record today's health
type command
action MetaEdit: Run MetaEdit
id EditMetaData
```
^button-2024-02-12Edit
```button
name Save
type command
action Save current file
id Save
```
^button-2024-02-12NSave
&emsp;
# 2024-02-12
&emsp;
> [!summary]+
> Daily note for 2024-02-12
&emsp;
```toc
style: number
```
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### ✅ Tasks of the day
&emsp;
```tasks
not done
due on 2024-02-12
path does not include Templates
hide backlinks
hide task count
```
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### 📝 Memos
&emsp;
This section does serve for quick memos.
&emsp;
%% --- %%
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### 🗒 Notes
&emsp;
📖: [[Seven Pillars of Wisdom]]
🍴: [[Warm lemon and Parmesan couscous]]
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### :link: Linked activity
&emsp;
```dataview
Table from [[2024-02-12]]
```
&emsp;
&emsp;

@ -0,0 +1,134 @@
---
title: "🗒 Daily Note"
allDay: true
date: 2024-02-13
Date: 2024-02-13
DocType: Note
Hierarchy:
TimeStamp:
location:
CollapseMetaTable: true
Sleep: 6.5
Happiness: 85
Gratefulness: 90
Stress: 25
FrontHeadBar: 5
EarHeadBar: 30
BackHeadBar: 20
Water: 2.75
Coffee: 5
Steps: 13130
Weight: 93.7
Ski:
IceSkating:
Riding:
Racket:
Football:
Swim:
---
%% Parent:: [[@Life Admin]] %%
---
[[2024-02-12|<< 🗓 Previous ]] &emsp; &emsp; &emsp; [[@Main Dashboard|Back]] &emsp; &emsp; &emsp; [[2024-02-14|🗓 Next >>]]
---
&emsp;
```button
name Record today's health
type command
action MetaEdit: Run MetaEdit
id EditMetaData
```
^button-2024-02-13Edit
```button
name Save
type command
action Save current file
id Save
```
^button-2024-02-13NSave
&emsp;
# 2024-02-13
&emsp;
> [!summary]+
> Daily note for 2024-02-13
&emsp;
```toc
style: number
```
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### ✅ Tasks of the day
&emsp;
```tasks
not done
due on 2024-02-13
path does not include Templates
hide backlinks
hide task count
```
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### 📝 Memos
&emsp;
This section does serve for quick memos.
&emsp;
%% --- %%
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### 🗒 Notes
&emsp;
Loret ipsum
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### :link: Linked activity
&emsp;
```dataview
Table from [[2024-02-13]]
```
&emsp;
&emsp;

@ -0,0 +1,139 @@
---
title: "🗒 Daily Note"
allDay: true
date: 2024-02-14
Date: 2024-02-14
DocType: Note
Hierarchy:
TimeStamp:
location:
CollapseMetaTable: true
Sleep: 6.5
Happiness: 85
Gratefulness: 90
Stress: 25
FrontHeadBar: 5
EarHeadBar: 30
BackHeadBar: 20
Water: 3.33
Coffee: 5
Steps: 11511
Weight:
Ski:
IceSkating:
Riding:
Racket:
Football:
Swim:
---
%% Parent:: [[@Life Admin]] %%
---
[[2024-02-13|<< 🗓 Previous ]] &emsp; &emsp; &emsp; [[@Main Dashboard|Back]] &emsp; &emsp; &emsp; [[2024-02-15|🗓 Next >>]]
---
&emsp;
```button
name Record today's health
type command
action MetaEdit: Run MetaEdit
id EditMetaData
```
^button-2024-02-14Edit
```button
name Save
type command
action Save current file
id Save
```
^button-2024-02-14NSave
&emsp;
# 2024-02-14
&emsp;
> [!summary]+
> Daily note for 2024-02-14
&emsp;
```toc
style: number
```
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### ✅ Tasks of the day
&emsp;
```tasks
not done
due on 2024-02-14
path does not include Templates
hide backlinks
hide task count
```
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### 📝 Memos
&emsp;
This section does serve for quick memos.
&emsp;
- [ ] 21:40 :clapper: [[@Cinematheque|Cinematheque]]: Download 'All of Us Strangers' 📅2024-02-28
%% --- %%
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### 🗒 Notes
&emsp;
🚆: [[@@Zürich|Zürich]] to [[@@Paris|Paris]]
📖: [[Seven Pillars of Wisdom]]
📺: [[2024-02-14 ⚽️ PSG - Real Sociedad (2-0)]]
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### :link: Linked activity
&emsp;
```dataview
Table from [[2024-02-14]]
```
&emsp;
&emsp;

@ -0,0 +1,134 @@
---
title: "🗒 Daily Note"
allDay: true
date: 2024-02-15
Date: 2024-02-15
DocType: Note
Hierarchy:
TimeStamp:
location:
CollapseMetaTable: true
Sleep: 7
Happiness: 85
Gratefulness: 90
Stress: 25
FrontHeadBar: 5
EarHeadBar: 30
BackHeadBar: 20
Water: 3.21
Coffee: 5
Steps: 12184
Weight:
Ski:
IceSkating:
Riding:
Racket:
Football:
Swim:
---
%% Parent:: [[@Life Admin]] %%
---
[[2024-02-14|<< 🗓 Previous ]] &emsp; &emsp; &emsp; [[@Main Dashboard|Back]] &emsp; &emsp; &emsp; [[2024-02-16|🗓 Next >>]]
---
&emsp;
```button
name Record today's health
type command
action MetaEdit: Run MetaEdit
id EditMetaData
```
^button-2024-02-15Edit
```button
name Save
type command
action Save current file
id Save
```
^button-2024-02-15NSave
&emsp;
# 2024-02-15
&emsp;
> [!summary]+
> Daily note for 2024-02-15
&emsp;
```toc
style: number
```
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### ✅ Tasks of the day
&emsp;
```tasks
not done
due on 2024-02-15
path does not include Templates
hide backlinks
hide task count
```
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### 📝 Memos
&emsp;
This section does serve for quick memos.
&emsp;
%% --- %%
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### 🗒 Notes
&emsp;
Loret ipsum
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### :link: Linked activity
&emsp;
```dataview
Table from [[2024-02-15]]
```
&emsp;
&emsp;

@ -0,0 +1,136 @@
---
title: "🗒 Daily Note"
allDay: true
date: 2024-02-16
Date: 2024-02-16
DocType: Note
Hierarchy:
TimeStamp:
location:
CollapseMetaTable: true
Sleep: 5.5
Happiness: 85
Gratefulness: 90
Stress: 25
FrontHeadBar: 5
EarHeadBar: 30
BackHeadBar: 20
Water: 0.73
Coffee: 6
Steps:
Weight:
Ski:
IceSkating:
Riding:
Racket:
Football:
Swim:
---
%% Parent:: [[@Life Admin]] %%
---
[[2024-02-15|<< 🗓 Previous ]] &emsp; &emsp; &emsp; [[@Main Dashboard|Back]] &emsp; &emsp; &emsp; [[2024-02-17|🗓 Next >>]]
---
&emsp;
```button
name Record today's health
type command
action MetaEdit: Run MetaEdit
id EditMetaData
```
^button-2024-02-16Edit
```button
name Save
type command
action Save current file
id Save
```
^button-2024-02-16NSave
&emsp;
# 2024-02-16
&emsp;
> [!summary]+
> Daily note for 2024-02-16
&emsp;
```toc
style: number
```
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### ✅ Tasks of the day
&emsp;
```tasks
not done
due on 2024-02-16
path does not include Templates
hide backlinks
hide task count
```
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### 📝 Memos
&emsp;
This section does serve for quick memos.
&emsp;
%% --- %%
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### 🗒 Notes
&emsp;
🚆: [[@@Paris|Paris]] to [[@@Zürich|Zürich]]
📖: [[Seven Pillars of Wisdom]]
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### :link: Linked activity
&emsp;
```dataview
Table from [[2024-02-16]]
```
&emsp;
&emsp;

@ -1,12 +0,0 @@
---
title: "🧚🏼 Arrivée Meggi-mo"
allDay: true
date: 2022-03-19
endDate: 2022-03-20
CollapseMetaTable: true
---
# Arrivée de [[@@MRCK|Meggi-mo]]
- [l] Arrivée à [[@@Zürich|Zürich]] de Meggi-mo, le [[2022-03-19|19/03/2022]].

@ -1,11 +0,0 @@
---
title: "🧚🏼 Départ de Meggi-mo"
allDay: true
date: 2022-03-24
endDate: 2022-03-25
CollapseMetaTable: true
---
# Départ de Meggi-mo
Départ de ma [[@@MRCK|Meggi-mo]] le [[2022-03-24|24/03/2022]].

@ -1,9 +0,0 @@
---
title: "👨‍👩‍👧 Arrivée de Papa"
allDay: false
startTime: 20:25
endTime: 20:30
date: 2022-03-31
---
- [l] [[2022-03-31]], arrivée de [[Amaury de Villeneuve|Papa]] à [[@@Zürich|Zürich]]

@ -1,9 +0,0 @@
---
title: "👨‍👩‍👧 Départ Papa"
allDay: false
startTime: 13:30
endTime: 14:00
date: 2022-04-04
---
[[2022-04-04]], départ de [[Amaury de Villeneuve|Papa]]

@ -1,11 +0,0 @@
---
title: "🗳 1er tour Présidentielle"
allDay: true
date: 2022-04-10
endDate: 2022-04-11
CollapseMetaTable: true
---
1er tour des élections présidentielles à [[@@Paris|Paris]], le [[2022-04-10|10 avril 2022]]; avec [[@@MRCK|Meggi-mo]] dans l'isoloir.

@ -1,8 +0,0 @@
---
title: "🗳 2nd tour élections présidentielles"
allDay: true
date: 2022-04-24
endDate: 2022-04-25
---
2nd tour des élections présidentielles le [[2022-04-24|24 Avril]] à [[@@Paris|Paris]].

@ -1,9 +0,0 @@
---
title: "🛩 Arrivée à Lisbonne"
allDay: false
startTime: 16:00
endTime: 16:30
date: 2022-04-27
---
Arrival on [[2022-04-27|this day]] in [[Lisbon]].

@ -1,9 +0,0 @@
---
title: "🛩 Départ de Lisbonne"
allDay: false
startTime: 15:30
endTime: 16:00
date: 2022-05-01
---
Departure from [[Lisbon]] to [[@@Zürich|Zürich]] [[2022-05-01|this day]].

@ -1,9 +0,0 @@
---
title: "🧚🏼 Definite arrival of Meggi-mo to Züzü"
allDay: true
startTime: 06:30
endTime: 07:00
date: 2022-05-15
---
[[@@MRCK|Meggi-mo]] is arriving to [[@@Zürich|Zürich]] for good on [[2022-05-15|that day]].

@ -1,17 +0,0 @@
---
title: "🚆 Weekend in GVA"
allDay: true
date: 2022-10-14
endDate: 2022-10-17
CollapseMetaTable: true
---
Weekend à [[Geneva]] avec [[@@MRCK|Meggi-mo]].
&emsp;
Départ: [[2022-10-14]] de [[@@Zürich|Zürich]]
Retour: [[2022-10-16]] à [[@@Zürich|Zürich]]

@ -1,16 +0,0 @@
---
title: "🗼 Weekend à Paris"
allDay: true
date: 2022-10-21
endDate: 2022-10-24
CollapseMetaTable: true
---
Weekend à [[@@Paris|Paris]] avec [[@@MRCK|Meggi-mo]].
&emsp;
Départ: [[2022-10-21]] de [[@@Zürich|Zürich]]
Retour: [[2022-10-23]] à [[@@Zürich|Zürich]]

@ -1,10 +0,0 @@
---
title: "💍 Fiançailles Marguerite & Arnold"
allDay: false
startTime: 16:30
endTime: 15:00
date: 2022-11-19
CollapseMetaTable: true
---
Fiançailles de [[Marguerite de Villeneuve|Marguerite]] et [[Arnold Moulin|Arnold]] [[2022-11-19|ce jour]] à [[Geneva|Genève]].

@ -1,12 +0,0 @@
---
title: "👪 Papa à Zürich"
allDay: true
date: 2022-12-26
endDate: 2022-12-31
completed: null
CollapseMetaTable: true
---
[[Amaury de Villeneuve|Papa]] arrive à [[@@Zürich|Zürich]] le [[2022-12-26|26 décembre]] à 13h26.

@ -1,12 +0,0 @@
---
title: "Stef & Kyna in Zürich"
allDay: true
date: 2022-12-30
endDate: 2023-01-05
completed: null
CollapseMetaTable: true
---
Stef & Kyna arrivent à [[@@Zürich|Zürich]] le [[2022-12-30|30 décembre]] avec Swiss le matin.

@ -1,13 +0,0 @@
---
title: Médecin
allDay: false
startTime: 11:15
endTime: 12:15
date: 2023-01-23
completed: null
CollapseMetaTable: true
---
[[2023-01-23|Ce jour]], 1er RDV avec [[Dr Cleopatra Morales]].

@ -1,12 +0,0 @@
---
title: Genève
allDay: true
date: 2023-02-06
endDate: 2023-02-08
completed: null
CollapseMetaTable: true
---
Depart à [[Geneva|Genève]] [[2023-02-06|ce jour]] et retour le [[223-02-07|lendemain]].

@ -1,13 +0,0 @@
---
title: ⚕ Médecin
allDay: false
startTime: 12:15
endTime: 13:15
date: 2023-02-09
completed: null
CollapseMetaTable: true
---
[[2023-02-09|Ce jour]], RDV de suivi avec [[Dr Cleopatra Morales]]

@ -1,91 +0,0 @@
---
title: "👰‍♀ Mariage Eloi & Zélie"
allDay: true
date: 2023-02-10
endDate: 2023-02-12
CollapseMetaTable: true
---
Mariage d[[Eloi de Villeneuve|Éloi]] avec [[Zélie]] en [[@France|Bretagne]] (Rennes) [[2023-02-11|ce jour]].
&emsp;
🚆: 23h11, arrivée à Rennes
&emsp;
🏨: **Hotel Saint Antoine**<br>27 avenue Janvier<br>Rennes
&emsp;
### Vendredi 10 Février
&emsp;
#### 17h: Mariage civil
Mairie de Montfort-sur-Meu (35)
&emsp;
#### 20h30: Veillée de Prière
Chapelle du château de la Châsse
Iffendic (35)
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### Samedi 11 Février
&emsp;
#### 14h: Messe de Mariage
Saint-Louis-Marie
Montfort-sur-Meu (35)
&emsp;
#### 16h30: Cocktail
Château de la Châsse
Iffendic (35)
&emsp;
#### 19h30: Dîner
Château de la Châsse
Iffendic (35)
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### Dimanche 12 Février
&emsp;
#### 11h: Messe
Chapelle du château de la Châsse
Iffendic (35)
&emsp;
#### 12h: Déjeuner breton
Château de la Châsse
Iffendic (35)
&emsp;
🚆: 13h35, départ de Rennes

@ -1,13 +0,0 @@
---
title: 🎬 Tár @ Riff Raff
allDay: false
startTime: 20:30
endTime: 22:30
date: 2023-02-19
completed: null
CollapseMetaTable: true
---
[[2023-02-19|Ce jour]], [[Tár (2022)]] @ [[Riff Raff Kino Bar]].

@ -1,12 +0,0 @@
---
title: 🩺 Médecin
allDay: false
startTime: 15:00
endTime: 15:30
date: 2023-03-06
completed: null
CollapseMetaTable: true
---
[[2023-03-06|Ce jour]], rdv avec [[Dr Awad Abuawad]]

@ -1,13 +0,0 @@
---
title: 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Marg & Arnold à Zürich
allDay: true
date: 2023-03-11
endDate: 2023-03-13
completed: null
CollapseMetaTable: true
---
Arrivée le [[2023-03-11|11 mars]] de [[Marguerite de Villeneuve|Marg]] et [[Arnold Moulin|Arnold]].
Départ le [[2023-03-12|lendemain]].

@ -1,12 +0,0 @@
---
title: 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Molly & boyfriend in Zürich
allDay: true
date: 2023-03-18
endDate: 2023-03-20
completed: null
CollapseMetaTable: true
---
Weekend in [[@@Zürich|Zürich]] for [[@@MRCK|Meggi-mo]]s cousin Molly and boyfriend.
Arrival on [[2023-03-18|18th March]] and departure on Monday [[2023-03-20|20th March]].

@ -1,13 +0,0 @@
---
title: 🩺 Médecin
allDay: false
startTime: 11:45
endTime: 12:15
date: 2023-04-14
completed: null
CollapseMetaTable: true
---
[[2023-04-14|Ce jour]], rdv avec [[Dr Cleopatra Morales]]

@ -1,10 +0,0 @@
---
title: 🏠 Arrivée Papa
allDay: false
startTime: 20:26
endTime: 21:26
date: 2023-12-21
completed: null
---
[[2023-12-21|Ce jour]], arrivée de [[Amaury de Villeneuve|Papa]] à [[@@Zürich|Zürich]]

@ -1,10 +0,0 @@
---
title: 🗼 Départ Papa
allDay: false
startTime: 13:30
endTime: 14:30
date: 2023-12-27
completed: null
---
[[2023-12-27|Ce jour]], départ de [[Amaury de Villeneuve|Papa]] de [[@@Zürich|Zürich]] pour [[@@Paris|Paris]]

@ -0,0 +1,19 @@
---
title: ⚽️ PSG - Real Sociedad (2-0)
allDay: false
startTime: 21:00
endTime: 23:00
date: 2024-02-14
completed: null
---
[[2024-02-14|Ce jour]], [[Paris SG]] - Real Sociedad: 2-0
Buteurs:: ⚽️ MBappé<br>⚽️ Barcola
&emsp;
```lineup
formation: 433
players: Donnaruma,Beraldo,Marquinhos,Danilo (Hernandez),Hakimi,Ruiz,Vitinha,Zaïre-Emery,Barcola (Asensio),M'Bappé,Dembélé (Kolo Muani)
```

@ -1,11 +0,0 @@
---
title: ⚽️ PSG - Real Sociefad
allDay: false
startTime: 21:00
endTime: 23:00
date: 2024-02-14
completed: null
---
[[2024-02-14|Ce jour]], [[Paris SG]] - Real Sociedad:
Buteurs::

@ -1,101 +0,0 @@
---
Tag: ["📈", "🪙", "🤥", "💸"]
Date: 2022-11-22
DocType: "WebClipping"
Hierarchy:
TimeStamp: 2022-11-22
Link: https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2022/11/5-more-disturbing-revelations-about-sam-bankman-fried.html
location:
CollapseMetaTable: true
---
Parent:: [[@News|News]]
Read:: [[2022-11-22]]
---
&emsp;
```button
name Save
type command
action Save current file
id Save
```
^button-10RevelationsAboutSamBankman-FriedNSave
&emsp;
# 10 More Disturbing Revelations About Sam Bankman-Fried
![](https://pyxis.nymag.com/v1/imgs/1a6/a2e/5e28514be63946094371d944ea54f3e04c-crypto-testimony.rsquare.w700.jpg)
Photo: Tom Williams/CQ-Roll Call, Inc via Getty Images
The first stage of any collapse is confusion, maybe even Schadenfreude. It was no different during the wild week when Sam Bankman-Fried, the supposed crypto wunderkind and founder of FTX, tried and failed to sell his imploding empire only to find himself totally broke, his companies bankrupt, and [his polycule](https://www.businessinsider.com/ftx-inner-circle-all-dated-each-other-in-bahamas-report-2022-11) perhaps no longer in the mood. ([Read about all that here](https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2022/11/it-was-all-a-game-for-sam-bankman-fried.html).) The stage after that, though, is fear — and that is precisely where we are right now. The sum of Bankman-Fried may have added up to less than his parts, but that doesnt change the fact that he was deeply interconnected with the worlds of politics and finance beyond the relatively small world of digital currencies. Since his bankruptcy filing, the crypto empire Bankman-Fried presided over has been subject to even more embarrassing and damning revelations, and he is the target of multiple [investigations](https://www.reuters.com/technology/manhattan-us-attorneys-office-investigates-ftx-downfall-source-2022-11-14/). It is still too early to say that hes headed for prison — if the prior big financial crisis taught us anything, its not to be shocked when nobody gets arrested for obvious crimes — but that is certainly [a strong possibility](https://fortune.com/crypto/2022/11/13/could-sam-bankman-fried-go-to-prison-for-the-ftx-disaster/). Heres what weve learned about SBF since this all started.
FTX owes money to more than 1 million different entities, according to a bankruptcy filing. So far, we dont have a picture of who all those people and companies are — an obfuscation that has led to a lot of paranoia in the crypto markets, as everyone tries to figure out who is exposed to who. (FTX is seeking to keep those identities confidential, after saying it would make all of them public). What we do know is that the 50 largest accounts alone account for more than $3 billion, according to a filing. Of that, the six largest accounts make up more than $1 billion, with the very largest of them being $226 million. [Hedge funds](https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2022-11-17/people-are-already-buying-depositor-claims-on-ftx) and [banks](https://www.nytimes.com/2022/11/18/business/ftx-assets-wall-street.html) have already circled around these stuck depositors, offering to buy the rights to their money for pennies on the dollar, in the hope that theyll be able to one day recoup the crypto for much more. The whole process is going to be complicated and likely painful, and even the people who were able to pull their money off the exchange may have some of their funds [clawed back](https://www.reuters.com/technology/whats-next-ftxs-bankruptcy-2022-11-16/) during the bankruptcy process.
Im not a judge, so its not up to me to decide whats against the law. But Ive got eyes. [Reuters](https://www.reuters.com/markets/currencies/exclusive-least-1-billion-client-funds-missing-failed-crypto-firm-ftx-sources-2022-11-12/) first revealed that a back door was written into the code at the FTX crypto exchange that allowed Bankman-Fried to move customer deposits from that platform to his (supposed completely separate) hedge fund, Alameda Research. In essence, this was a way to keep quiet the alarm bells that would have started to ring if anyone else had been aware that he was moving this money. All told, Reuters reported that $1 billion was missing. Dipping into such funds is a cardinal sin (a crime, probably) in the financial industry: Customer deposits are subject to all kinds of careful protections and certainly arent available as a slush fund for the CEO to play with.
So why the secret back door? Bankman-Fried has so far explained that a mistake in internal labeling had led to customer deposits being used to fund his hedge fund. This is important when youre trying to come up with a legal theory that lets you off the hook: *Look, it was bad, but it was an accident*. If a back door built into the companys code is only known to or accessible by the top executive (or something like that), it starts to get at something prosecutors really salivate over: intent. White-collar crime is difficult to prove, in large part because someones state of mind is crucial to demonstrating that something was an intentional fraud. How do you explain a back door as inadvertent? Reuters again is helpful here. When the reporters texting Bankman-Fried asked about the missing funds, he responded, “???”
To the chagrin of his [lawyers](https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2022/11/ftxs-sam-bankman-fried-hires-lawyer-for-milken-madoff-sons.html), Bankman-Fried has been direct-messaging reporters what he thinks of the mess he made. [DMing with Vox reporter Kelsey Piper](https://www.vox.com/future-perfect/23462333/sam-bankman-fried-ftx-cryptocurrency-effective-altruism-crypto-bahamas-philanthropy) on Tuesday night, he said that his crusade to introduce real regulation to crypto in the U.S. was “just PR” and shared his real opinion on the matter: “Fuck regulators.” The big name in [effective altruism](https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2022/11/effective-altruism-sam-bankman-fried-sbf-ftx-crypto.html) also appears to have revealed his real code of ethics in business:
One might think that “I feel bad for those that get fucked by it” would be the money quote from the man who just lost billions of dollars of customer funds. But then Bankman-Fried basically admitted to stealing money through that back door in the code:
> Vox: So … FTX technically wasnt gambling with their money, FTX had just loaned their money to Alameda, who had gambled with their money, and lost it? and you didnt realize it was a big deal because you didnt realize how much money it was?
>
> SBF: and also thought Alameda had enough collateral to reasonable cover it
>
> Vox: I get how you could have gotten away with it but I guess that seems sketchy even if you get away with it
>
> SBF: It was never the intention. Sometimes life creeps up on you.
Even after all this, Bankman-Fried hasnt realized hes done. He told Piper that his single biggest mistake was declaring bankruptcy and that he still thinks he can salvage FTX: “I have 2 weeks to raise $8 b. Thats basically all that matters for the rest of my life.” He may be forgetting that he resigned from the company.
Attorney John J. Ray III, who oversaw the dismantling of Enron after its massive fraud, has taken over as FTX CEO to try and set everything out in the bankruptcy process. In a [filing](https://pacer-documents.s3.amazonaws.com/33/188450/042120648186.pdf) in Delaware on November 17, Ray wrote that “never in my career have I seen such a complete failure of corporate controls and such a complete absence of trustworthy financial information as occurred here.”
“From compromised systems integrity and faulty regulatory oversight abroad, to the concentration of control in the hands of a very small group of inexperienced, unsophisticated and potentially compromised individuals, this situation is unprecedented,” Ray added.
On November 6, CoinDesk published the first look into Bankman-Frieds hedge fund, Alameda Research, setting off the whole cascade that led to this catastrophe. Over the weekend, the *Financial Times* went further and [published](https://www.ft.com/content/0c2a55b6-d34c-4685-8a8d-3c9628f1f185) a deeper look into what his financial empire was holding. For those without a subscription to the pink paper, heres a screengrab that made it onto Twitter.
Let me just lay out here that this is not what a balance sheet tends to look like if its being updated all the time by, say, an accounting department. There are, for instance, messages embedded into the cells. One is: “There were many things I wish I could do differently than I did,” which Bankman-Fried then goes on to say is how he labeled things.
Its not as if he had signed his name to this, but its fair to guess he wrote it or authorized someone else to do so. But still, its a sloppy document, and considering the number of caveats up at the top (“rough values,” “typos,” etc.) its essentially an unaudited, hastily assembled document with a bunch of round numbers put together by a probable fraudster.
Based on what we now know about Bankman-Frieds former empire, Alameda was largely just a way to prop up his other businesses — not just FTX but other crypto exchanges and technologies he was associated with. There are about $9 billion in liabilities. The non-crypto money account is negative $8 billion.
The filing provides an early look into the unsophisticated chaos at FTX. The company responsible for billions in customer funds did not have an accounting department. Bankman-Fried used an auto-delete function for important messages to staff. When employees submitted payment requests, supervisors responded by emoji. The new management is having a hard time even [figuring out who worked at the company](https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2022-11-17/here-are-the-craziest-parts-from-the-new-ftx-bankruptcy-filing?sref=frV97TwV).
The document also reveals that Bankman-Fried, co-founder Gary Wang, and two more executives received $4.1 billion in loans from Alameda. Bankman-Fried [personally received $1 billion](https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2022-11-17/ftx-s-bankman-fried-received-1-billion-loan-from-alameda).
In the filing, Ray also wanted to make it clear to regulators that Bankman-Frieds message of [“fuck regulators”](https://www.coindesk.com/business/2022/11/16/bankman-fried-praises-regulators-hours-after-saying-f-regulators/) does not represent the opinion of the company.
A hacker appears to have stolen $600 million in customer funds from FTX on Friday night. Heres the companys general counsel on it:
Later, an executive at another crypto exchange, Kraken, [tweeted](https://twitter.com/c7five/status/1591434844760076290) that they knew who was behind it. The identity of the person hasnt been revealed, but this added a whole other layer of weirdness. Maybe all that money will get recovered; maybe it will get laundered and make a few people very rich (and leave many others poor). How it could happen in the first place is still an open question.
Now were at the stage where everyone is asking whos next. FTX didnt grow to be a $32 billion company in a vacuum, and the prospect of financial contagion has the crypto world in a panic. Already, companies like crypto lender BlockFi, which Bankman-Fried bailed out, are basically shuttered. Crypto.com — you may remember it as the company that featured Matt Damon in a Super Bowl ad *—* admitted that it had accidentally [sent](https://www.theverge.com/2022/11/13/23456044/crypto-dot-com-accidentally-sent-400-million-wrong-recipent-ethereum) about $400 million to the wrong place and then had to [ask](https://www.coindesk.com/business/2022/11/14/cryptocom-ceo-dismisses-speculation-of-financial-trouble-says-ftx-exposure-is-minimal/) people not to freak out. The owner of Huobi, a Hong Kong exchange, is [lending](https://www.wsj.com/livecoverage/stock-market-news-today-11-14-2022/card/ftx-bankruptcy-imperils-hong-kong-firm-s-crypto-assets-e4qr30KLYcF4AfArp9MK) money to try to stabilize things. Even Galois Capital, the hedge fund that correctly called the [collapse](https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2022/05/do-kwon-how-terra-luna-founder-built-a-crypto-cult.html) of the TerraUSD stablecoin — which led directly to the destruction of [Three Arrows Capital](https://nymag.com/intelligencer/article/three-arrows-capital-kyle-davies-su-zhu-crash.html) — got blindsided.
There hasnt been a major fall yet, but other worrying things are happening. Since FTX collapsed, there has been a palpable feeling of distrust in the system. Essentially, if FTX could go and take all your money with no recourse, who else might do the same? Over the weekend, the volume of trading dropped by one-quarter (it has since rebounded); crypto investors are pulling their holdings [off](https://twitter.com/BitcoinIsSaving/status/1591853048699457536) the exchanges. This is not what happens when markets are going well. When there are fewer and fewer people trading, eventually things will dwindle to the point where prices collapse because theres no one else to sell to.
Despite all this, Bankman-Fried is tweeting through it — kind of. For the past 17 hours, he has been slowly spelling out “[What](https://twitter.com/BitcoinIsSaving/status/1591853048699457536) [](https://twitter.com/SBF_FTX/status/1592275869825134593)[happened](https://twitter.com/BitcoinIsSaving/status/1591853048699457536).” It feels like getting sucked into a black hole. He told the New York *Times* that he is, in fact, the one tweeting. What does it all mean? Who knows? But its still a good question.
*Update:* after this story was first published, some Twitter sleuths may have hit on the reason for the strange, halted tweeting. SBF is not only adding tweets to his timeline — hes deleting them.
Note here that the deleted tweets that have been caught are about accounting and the makeup of the fund. (Hes also previously deleted a tweet saying that everything was “fine”). Not suspicious at all!
In a [deleted tweet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1Mto6h1TT52TVBNEwm31NV6hs9T0y-EdW-NuwrzfsC24/edit#gid=1729621767) from November 8, Bankman-Fried said that “FTX has enough to cover all client holdings.” But two days earlier, according to a new timeline from [Reuters](https://www.reuters.com/technology/ftxs-bankman-fried-begged-rescue-even-he-revealed-huge-holes-firms-books-2022-11-16/), he got on the phone to see if he could gin up some more funding. He called giants such as Sequoia Capital and Apollo Global Management — and other embattled crypto companies like [Tether](https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2022/05/the-crash-of-cryptos-perpetual-motion-machine.html) — asking for a funds. It didnt work: The firms were scared off by the huge hole in the companys books, with one calling the presentation “very amateurish.” It was only then, around 3 a.m., that Bankman-Fried called his rival Changpeng Zhao, the CEO of the exchange Binance, to bail him out.
It seemed as if the bleeding had stopped. But then Binance walked away, too, “as a result of corporate due diligence” and the swirling reports of mismanaged funds. “Ill keep fighting,” he messaged the remaining staff. He then tried Saudi Arabias Public Investment Fund and the Japanese investment bank Nomura Holdings. Again, no luck. By Friday, FTX was forced to declare bankruptcy.
10 More Disturbing Revelations About Sam Bankman-Fried
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Date: 2022-04-03
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Link: https://www.gq.com/story/eight-places-to-save-climate-change
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```button
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action Save current file
id Save
```
^button-8EndangeredPlacesWeCanStillSaveFromClimateChangeNSave
&emsp;
# 8 Endangered Places We Can Still Save From Climate Change
**Julia Baum**, a marine biologist at the University of Victoria, in British Columbia, has been researching climate-threatened coral reefs for years. But recently she decided to make a change. “Ive realized the best way I can help to save coral reefs is not to work on coral reefs,” she says. “Its to work on the energy transition.” Thats because climate change is caused chiefly by the burning of fossil fuels, which now accounts for 86 percent of carbon dioxide emissions. And unless we rapidly transition to clean energy, all other efforts to save corals—or our warming planet—wont matter.
This reality is one that all of the earths inhabitants are now grappling with: If we want to preserve the places we love, we have to focus on moving away from fossil fuels immediately. The latest United Nations climate report, released in February, made it clear that irreversible destruction can no longer be avoided. The question is no longer “How can we fix climate change?” Its “How much irreversible planetary damage are we willing to accept in order to continue extracting and burning fossil fuels?”
Since the late 19th century, when, in the aftermath of the Industrial Revolution, humans started burning fossil fuels on a scale greater than ever before, the global average temperature has increased by about 1.1 degrees Celsius. Today, the desperate hope of climate scientists is that we prevent that number from rising to 1.5 degrees. Of course, some say that task is now impossible and that the best we can wish for is to limit warming to 2 degrees above pre-industrial levels. Those two thresholds have come to define the discourse around climate change, and either would represent a stunning reversal of current trends.
When delegates met to confront the issue at last years climate summit in Glasgow, Scotland, representatives convened from the worlds biggest polluting nations. Each had already agreed to curb emissions in pursuit of two objectives set out by the 2015 Paris Agreement: limiting warming to “well below” 2 degrees and “pursuing efforts” to reach 1.5 degrees. But some have argued that the Paris Agreement is flawed: Even though countries are required to submit plans to reduce emissions, there is no way of enforcing those pledges, and six years after Paris, we remain on a disastrous course. One recent study projected that, under current policies, the world is on track to warm by 2.7 degrees by 2100—a catastrophic scenario.
So, without the will to wean ourselves off fossil fuels, what comes next? Around the world, profound transformations are already under way. Ski slopes are bare. Storms are worsening. Regions are becoming inhospitable for human life. In one future, the world warms by 2 degrees or more and these trends continue to their catastrophic ends. In another, we pull the hand brake now and limit warming to 1.5 degrees. “People dont realize that every tenth of a degree matters,” Baum explains. Here are some places where they matter the most.
---
## Jacobabad, Pakistan
*One of the world's hottest cities simply can't stand to get any hotter.*
The hottest temperature ever recorded on the planet, 56.7 degrees Celsius (134 degrees Fahrenheit), was in Californias Death Valley. But Jacobabad, in Pakistans Sindh province, might be the world's hottest—and perhaps the most unlivable—city. Summer temperatures routinely exceed 50 degrees Celsius (122 degrees Fahrenheit); according to a recent study, Jacobabad—which has a population of 190,000 and a surrounding district of 1 million—is one of two cities on earth where temperatures and humidity levels have reached a point at which the human body can no longer cool itself, and has done so on four separate occasions.
“My friends and family have died of heatstroke,” says Muhammad Jan Odhano, 43, who works for a Jacobabad-based community organization dedicated to improving access to health care and education. “This is normal for us. Its part of our routine.”
Odhano says that many of the city's residents relocate in the summer, but the nature of his work demands that he and his family remain in the Jacobabad, working at night or in the early morning and resting from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. “Every year we feel its hotter than the last,” Odhano says. “Its unfair. We are not contributing many greenhouse gasses in Pakistan. We see nothing specific to reduce the climate effects.
“We need a political movement against this evil,” he continues. “But there is a problem of illiteracy. Many people cannot read, so they dont know about climate change. They dont know about the importance of forestry and renewable electricity. We need to educate the people who are most affected. I have lived in Jacobabad for 30 years. This is my native place. I call on people to come and see.” 
Indeed, if current trends continue, people might not have a choice. One study projects that with 1.5 degrees of warming, 13.8 percent of the world would regularly be exposed to severe heat waves—a figure that would nearly triple, to 36.9 percent, with 2 degrees of warming. It seems that much more of the world might soon see what a Jacobabad summer feels like. —*Emily Atkin*
---
![Image may contain Water Sea Outdoors Nature Ocean Animal Reef Sea Life Coral Reef Invertebrate and Sponge Animal](https://media.gq.com/photos/623a360f27a0ff6ede9f6b49/master/w_1600%2Cc_limit/GQ0422_Climate_02.jpg)
Line Islands: Brian Skerry.
Photo by Brian Skerry
## Line Islands
*Off the coast of this Pacific paradise, a coral reef teems with wildlife—but teeters on the brink of destruction.*
Coral reefs are vital to both human societies and the oceans ecosystem—they protect shorelines from storm surges and erosion, and serve as nurseries for marine life. Theyre also frighteningly imperiled by warming waters, which produce conditions that turn them a ghostly white and expose them to a blanket of algae. Thats what Kim Cobb saw one day in 2016 when she swam up to the reef in the central Pacifics Line Island chain that shed been studying for 18 years. A heat wave had killed or bleached 95 percent of the corals.
“It was carnage,” the Georgia Tech climate scientist recalls. Disturbances like pollution and fishing are relatively limited in the vicinity of the research site, so Cobb felt rising ocean temperatures were the likely culprit. The impact has already been devastating, she says, adding, “I cant even imagine what it would look like at 2 degrees Celsius.”
If warming can be limited, however, there might be hope for the corals that remain. Scientists like Hollie Putnam are engineering so-called super corals with the ability to withstand higher ocean temperatures and acidity levels. Putnam, a marine biologist at the University of Rhode Island, places coral species under climate change stressors and breeds those that survive best, creating hyper-resilient organisms. “Theyre really exciting and really hopeful,” Putnam says, noting that super corals could help maintain the biodiversity and genetic diversity of already struggling reefs, like the ones in the Line Island Chain.
But super corals are more likely to survive if warming doesnt get much worse. “If we push the climate system to 2 degrees Celsius, were talking about 1 percent of reefs surviving,” Cobb says. “That makes it less likely that coral-resilience engineering efforts will succeed.” She says its essential to limit warming to 1.5 degrees, a scenario in which up to 30 percent of reefs could survive on their own. If that happens, one of the worlds wildest reefs could be strengthened. If it doesnt, even the savviest engineering intervention wont be enough. —*E.A.*
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![Image may contain Nature Outdoors Countryside Plant and Rural](https://media.gq.com/photos/623a360d209a72ad59888377/master/w_1600%2Cc_limit/GQ0422_Climate_03.jpg)
Napa Valley, California: Samuel Corum/AFP/Getty Images.
Photo by Samuel Corum
## Napa Valley, California
*Wildfires and droughts are devastating vineyards, tainting vintages, and poisoning the future of the great American wine region.*
Last July, Julie Johnson walked around her vineyard in the Napa Valley town of St. Helena. The grapevines looked exhausted, and the nearby land was scarred by wildfires. But it was hardly shocking: The western U.S. is in the midst of a mega-drought, the worst in over a millennium. Californias 2020 wildfire season burned 42 percent of the land in Napa County. And now warmer temperatures are changing the soil, and the wine itself.
Grapes are defined by their terroir, so even small shifts in the soil matter. According to Johnson, the drier earth in Northern California doesnt absorb water with the same sponge-like quality as it once did. Winemakers also encounter another challenge brought on by wildfires: Smoke can taint grapes, giving wine an ashy aroma.
“The taste of wine is changing,” says Kimberly Nicholas, a sustainability scientist at Lund University, in Sweden, who hails from a family of winemakers in Sonoma. Some local vintners have conceded that certain long-favored grapes like Pinot Noir simply dont flourish in the heat and have replaced them with varietals like heat-loving Grenache. Johnson is adapting, too, making her vineyards more resilient by improving the health of the soil. But even her organic vineyard, which is well-equipped to handle dry conditions, saw a 20 percent reduction in crop yield last year. And Napa Valley wine industry groups estimated that the fall 2020 Glass Fire alone cost the region $1 billion.
Those losses might only be a taste of whats to come. One study predicts that in a world with 1.5 degrees of warming, the global mean wildfire season would increase by 6.2 days; with 2 degrees of warming, it would increase by 9.5 days. Nicholas casts that difference in starkly simple terms. “The difference between 1.5 degrees Celsius and 2 degrees Celsius is the difference between life and death for many people and places around the world,” she says. “Wine producers are smart and adaptable, but there are limits to adaptation. I worry that the landscapes and wine industry I grew up with will not exist in a 2-degree Celsius world.” —*Caitlin Looby*
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![Image may contain Human Person Clothing Apparel Urban Hood and Building](https://media.gq.com/photos/623a360e32b88720ca867622/master/w_1600%2Cc_limit/GQ0422_Climate_04.jpg)
Qikiqtarjuaq, Nunavut, Canada: Jonas Bendiksen/Magnum Photos.
Photo by Jonas Bendiksen
## Qikiqtarjuaq, Nunavut, Canada
*Sea ice is vanishing near this Arctic island, imperiling an Inuit community's cherished tradition.*
The roughly 15,000 Inuit who inhabit Qikiqtaaluk—also known as the Baffin Region, an area mostly composed of Arctic islands between Greenland and the Canadian mainland—are known for their resilience. In 2019, the Canadian government formally apologized for years of traumatic colonial practices, including forced relocation and the separation of parents and children. But now the Qikiqtani are facing a different threat. They depend on sea ice for hunting seals—a tradition that serves important economic and cultural functions. That ice is now deteriorating across Baffin Bay, including the area around Qikiqtarjuaq, an island home to just under 600 people. Locals acknowledge that reduced and less stable sea ice has made hunting more difficult.
As an island, Qikiqtarjuaq is also vulnerable to the seas lapping waves. “Melting sea ice creates more open water, and more storms occur when there is open water,” says John Walsh, a climate scientist at the University of Alaska, Fairbanks who studies the Arctic. “The storms then kick up waves that flood the coast and cause erosion.”
According to Walsh, the islands sea ice can still be preserved, but only by swiftly limiting warming. “The 1.5 degrees Celsius warming scenario is the only one where the sea ice cover stabilizes in the Arctic,” Walsh says. “Thats coming through in the climate model simulations loud and clear.” The climate models, however, have made another thing clear: “Once you get to 2 degrees Celsius to 3 degrees Celsius, the ice goes away in the long term.” —*E.A.*
---
![Image may contain Plant Tree Fir Abies Conifer Nature Mountain and Outdoors](https://media.gq.com/photos/623a360c32b88720ca867620/master/w_1600%2Cc_limit/GQ0422_Climate_05.jpg)
The Italian Alps: Tomaso Clavarino.
Photo by Tomaso Clavarino
## Italian Alps
*Snowless slopes and shuttering resorts could mean the collapse of this classic European ski destination.*
*One of the ski regions most affected by climate change is the Italian Alps, where some 200 resorts have already shuttered. And that trend could soon get worse: One study forecasts that with 1.5 degrees of warming, Italy would see about 750,000 fewer overnight stays each winter, and about 1.25 million fewer stays in a 2-degree scenario. Marcello Cominetti, an extreme skier in northeastern Italy, reveals the impact that warming temperatures have had on his native mountains:*
I live in a village in the Dolomites, in a 350-year-old wood cabin. When I stay in my bed, from my window I see the Marmolada Glacier, our largest glacier. I remember what it looked like years ago. Ive lived in my house for 40 years. When I look at it now, I understand how melted its become. I can see it with my eyes. I understand.
My job is a mountain guide, but its also my passion. During the winter I ski every day. I ski mostly using skins, and without lifts. Today I climbed a mountain very close to my home and made a wonderful descent. For these climbs, I dress lighter than I did before. Years ago, it seemed to me that we would see temperatures of minus 20 degrees Celsius for many days in winter. Now it seems like just two to three days.
This makes a big difference in the snow for skiers—especially for the free riders and ski tourers like me. Its less of a problem at the resorts, because the pistes are prepared with artificial snow. Skiers on the pistes dont understand the snow. They see white and they are happy. But Ive noticed that when they try something more in nature, like ski touring or ice climbing, at the end of the day they are more happy. The light they have in their eyes is different.
I dont know for how many seasons it will be possible to continue. Artificial snow is expensive. And there are many valleys here where the only economy is skiing. I have a lot of friends who make a living in the mountains. I live in a wonderful place. But I am worried. —*As told to E.A.*
---
![Image may contain Nature Outdoors Mountain Plateau Scenery Light and Flare](https://media.gq.com/photos/623a3608816197e93d937708/master/w_1600%2Cc_limit/GQ0422_Climate_09.jpg)
Yakutia, Russia: Katie Orlinsky.
Photo by Katie Orlinsky
## Yakutia, Russia
*In one of the coldest regions on earth, a thaw of the permafrost is releasing massive levels of methane—and maybe something worse.*
With temperatures that regularly reach minus 40 degrees Celsius, Yakutsk, in eastern Siberia, is known as the coldest city in the world. Like much of the surrounding Yakutia region, the city sits atop the permafrost, a layer of soil that traditionally remains frozen year-round. But the permafrost here has begun to thaw, setting in motion a potentially catastrophic sinking. “The difference between 1.5 degrees Celsius and 2 degrees Celsius, for this kind of permafrost, is the difference between life and death,” says Vladimir Romanovsky, a geophysicist at the University of Alaska, Fairbanks, who has studied the Yakutian permafrost. Particularly concerning, Romanovsky says, is the type of permafrost found in Yakutia, which contains abnormally large amounts of ice. “If its a huge amount of ice, then all this foundation will turn into a lake,” he says. “Imagine if its on a slope.”
The effects of this thawing appear even more dramatic outside of Yakutsk, in the region of Yakutia, where gullies have opened up in the collapsing earth. Those include the Batagaika Crater, pictured here, about one kilometer across and 50 meters deep. These open wounds in the earths surface are releasing other dangers, including high levels of methane, further contributing to climate change, and long-frozen bacteria and viruses. “Thats potentially very dangerous,” Romanovsky says, noting that fragments of genetic material from smallpox can survive in permafrost for hundreds of years.
No matter what, Romanovsky says, Yakutia will need help. “Even 1.5 degrees Celsius of warming could destabilize the permafrost,” he notes. The difference is that, with a 1.5-degree Celsius warming, engineering solutions to refreeze the ground are more likely to succeed. In a 2-degree Celsius scenario, he says, those solutions become “more expensive and probably not practical.” 
—*E.A.*
---
![Image may contain Animal Wildlife Zebra Mammal and Giraffe](https://media.gq.com/photos/623a360a8c72bca0682d0cf7/master/w_1600%2Cc_limit/GQ0422_Climate_07.jpg)
Miombo Woodlands, Southern Africa: Martin Lindsay/Alamy Stock Photo.
Photo by Martin Lindsay / Alamy Stock Photo
## Miombo Woodlands, Southern Africa
*In this cradle of biodiversity, climate change could upend the ecosystem—and spell disaster for a host of endangered species.*
Stretching across southern Africa, the Miombo Woodlands—named after the umbrella-shaped miombo trees—are home to elephants, lions, leopards, spotted hyenas, buffalo, antelope, and giraffes. But its becoming a less hospitable habitat: Rainfall is now more sporadic and intense, while the shifting climate threatens to increase wildfires and imperil a number of the regions charismatic megafauna, like the critically endangered black rhinoceros, already long threatened by poaching.
According to Jeff Price, a climate scientist at the University of East Anglia who has studied the region, even a 1.5-degree Celsius warming scenario would be unsuitable for up to half of all species in most of the region, and at 2 degrees Celsius most of the Miombo Woodlands would be unfit for up to three-quarters of its species. Of additional concern to Price are the insects underpinning the entire ecosystem. If pollinators die out, the regions food supply would be undermined; limiting warming to 1.5 degree Celsius could prove critical for insects, which appear to be more sensitive to warming than plants and animals.
The impending diminution of the woodlands biodiversity is playing out against another shift: The countries of the Miombo are experiencing rapid population growth, contributing to loss of the woodlands, which have shrunk by an estimated 30 percent since the 1980s. According to Natasha Ribeiro, a scientist from Mozambique who has studied the region for decades, the woodlands distinctive biodiversity supports 80 percent of the regions people—a population thats increasingly placing a strain on natural resources. As Ribeiro puts it, “Climate change is bringing us one more challenge.” —*C.L.*
---
![Image may contain Landscape Outdoors Nature Scenery Neighborhood Urban Building Suburb Road and Aerial View](https://media.gq.com/photos/623a360932b88720ca86761e/master/w_1600%2Cc_limit/GQ0422_Climate_08.jpg)
Antigua and Barbuda: Jose Jimenez Tirado/Getty Images.
Photo by Jose Jimenez
## Antigua and Barbuda
*The island nation rocked by hurricanes is fighting back—and lawyering up—against the industrialized superpowers that pollute the most.*
The worlds islands are, of course, under threat from rising sea levels, but many of those same places face another peril exacerbated by climate change: hurricanes. That danger was made shockingly clear in 2017, when a pair of hurricanes tore through Antigua and Barbuda days apart; Irma damaged 81 percent of Barbudas buildings. “Our region was decimated by Irma and Maria,” Gaston Browne, the countrys prime minister, tells *GQ.*
So in October, the country joined with the Pacific island nation of Tuvalu to create a new commission that will seek to assign legal responsibility to higher-polluting nations for the adverse effects of climate change. “The basic principle of international law is that the polluter pays,” says Payam Akhavan, the legal counsel to the commission. “You pollute, you pay. You cannot use your territory in a way that harms other states.”
Akhavan contends that nations like Antigua and Barbuda have no other choice. The Paris Agreement includes no mechanism to enforce signatories pledges to curb their domestic emissions. “Industrialized countries believe that assisting us to adapt and mitigate the effects of climate change is an act of charity,” says Browne. “It ought to be a legal compensation.”
Palau has since joined the commission, and Akhavan says that other small island states are in the process of joining; together they will develop a legal strategy. But Akhavan hopes to bring his clients more than financial justice. “They are telling people that whats happening to the small island states today is going to happen to all of us tomorrow,” he says. “By listening to them, I think we can avert this collective catastrophe for the rest of humanity.” —*E.A.*
*\* A note on this story's methodology: To select these eight locations, we consulted the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Changes* [*special report*](https://www.ipcc.ch/sr15/) *on the projected impacts of 1.5 and 2 degrees of warming above pre-industrial levels. After identifying the regions likely to be the most afflicted in those scenarios, we spoke to climate scientists who study the most high-risk places within those areas. To determine whether a location would be “saved” at 1.5 degrees and “irredeemably lost” at 2 degrees, we asked whether it would become functionally unrecognizable to its current inhabitants. “Saved” and “lost” are subjective terms; they have no scientific definition here. Furthermore, this list is admittedly incomplete. It represents only a small sampling of places and people whose futures depend on whether we undertake a worldwide, herculean effort to rein in our use of fossil fuels. It is, however, (to our knowledge) the first list of its kind. We hope it is not the last.*
*A version of this story originally appeared in the April 2022 issue with the title "The Razor's Edge of A Warming World."*
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# A Championship Season in Mariachi Country
![Melody Quiroz with fellow students from Rio Grande City High Schools Mariachi Cascabel, backstage at the Mariachi Vargas Extravaganza in San Antonio in December.](https://static01.nyt.com/images/2022/11/06/magazine/06mag-mariachi/06mag-mariachi-articleLarge.jpg?quality=75&auto=webp&disable=upscale)
Credit...Benjamin Lowy for The New York Times
Every year along the Texas border, high school teams battle it out in one of the nations most intense championship rivalries. But theyre not playing football.
Melody Quiroz with fellow students from Rio Grande City High Schools Mariachi Cascabel, backstage at the Mariachi Vargas Extravaganza in San Antonio in December.Credit...Benjamin Lowy for The New York Times
- Published Nov. 3, 2022Updated Nov. 6, 2022
### Listen to This Article
Audio Recording by Audm
*To hear more audio stories from publications like The New York Times,* [*download Audm for iPhone or Android*](https://www.audm.com/?utm_source=nytmag&utm_medium=embed&utm_campaign=mariachi_country_balli)*.*
On a hot Monday in late August 2021, Marcos Zárate was starting his second week as the lead director of the mariachi program at Rio Grande City High School in Texas. In his practice room, 17 students in jeans and school T-shirts stood in a half-circle, playing songs from memory. Dozens of trophies lined one wall, and across another, someone had hung a cheery hand-painted banner spelling out the teams name, “Mariachi Cascabel.” The pandemic had kept the young musicians home the past 18 months, and now, fresh out of lockdown, they were eager to play as a group again — to feel the adrenaline rush and transformation that came with being on a stage.
Dressed all in black, his thick hair gelled back, Zárate, who was 40, paced the room, listening intently. “Stop!” he said as the students tore through a huapango called “A la Luz de los Cocuyos.” There were problems.
“Those trills, they need to come out a lot stronger than that. Careful at the beginning — *ta ta ta ta ta* — I want to hear all the notes together at the same volume. I dont want to hear *ta ta TA ta TA ta TA.* Very defined. OK? From the top!”
They began again, playing the same songs over and over. Zárate bounded among them, singing along to their instrument parts. When he ran out of ways to explain something in English, he did it in Spanish, which all of his students understood. “If you want to be competitive, especially in this part of the Valley, you have to be *super* detailed,” he told me. “Thats what gives mariachi music the style, all those little details we were going through. Thats the beauty of mariachi.”
The rest of the rehearsal was a chorus of instructions:
“OK, listen, lets perform it now. *Perform* it.”
“Punch it! Build it up!”
“Make sure that everybody stops at the same part of the bow!”
“More aggressive! That first note is too, too soft.”
“Make sure you guys start together, together, together!”
“From the top, *ahora sí!”*
Until just a few weeks before, Zárate was directing the mariachi program at a nearby middle school. Then the high school director stepped down, and with the end of summer approaching, the school district urged Zárate to take the job. Now he was responsible for the high school and overseeing two middle schools whose mariachis had bled students during the pandemic. There was no replacement for him yet at one school, and the other was led by a fairly new director. The administrative work alone seemed overwhelming. “I wasnt mentally ready for this,” he said. But he accepted the post out of a sense of duty. Now he was supposed to rebuild the whole program, even as he trained the high schools varsity group to compete at the first and most decisive contest of the year, the Mariachi Vargas Extravaganza, in December.
Image
![Viviana Garcia, a violinist for Roma High Schools Mariachi Nuevo Santander, with bandmates before their performance at the competition.](https://static01.nyt.com/images/2022/11/06/magazine/06mag-mariachi-02/06mag-mariachi-02-articleLarge.jpg?quality=75&auto=webp&disable=upscale)
Credit...Benjamin Lowy for The New York Times
Held yearly in San Antonio, the festival took its name from Mariachi Vargas de Tecalitlán, Mexicos oldest continuous mariachi, whose members acted as the judges. Its the largest competition that is open to student groups and individual vocalists from across the country. The festival had been going on for 26 years, founded by Cynthia Muñoz, a public-relations executive who played mariachi as a teenager. While there would be other contests the second half of the school year, a first-place trophy at the Extravaganza was the most coveted title of the season, since the winners could call themselves national champions.
Mariachi Cascabel was one of the best high school teams in America, but they faced significant competition. For years, students in the Lower Rio Grande Valley, the region that lies along the Rio Grande in South Texas, have been at the forefront of a renewed interest in mariachi nationwide. Three of the best groups are there in Starr County, one of the poorest counties in Texas. Zárates biggest rivals were just up and down the river along U.S. Highway 83, at Roma and La Grulla high schools. Roma was the school to beat. In the past seven Extravaganzas, its varsity team had outright won four titles and tied for two more — once with Grulla and once with Rio Grande City.
The directors knew each other well, having trained in the same influential mariachi-education program at the University of Texas-Pan American, in nearby Edinburg. And they were about the same age. Romas director, Eloy Garza, a year younger than Zárate, had briefly taught middle-school mariachi in Rio Grande City, then left to play for the widely venerated Mariachi Sol de México as they toured with the Mexican superstar Luis Miguel, crisscrossing the United States, Mexico and South America and analyzing how an elite mariachi trained. “After that year, I got all the knowledge I needed,” he said. He returned to Rio Grande City, and his middle school mariachi began collecting trophies. Then he was lured back to Roma, his hometown, to revive the once-legendary Mariachi Nuevo Santander. That was the year the team began its title streak at the Extravaganza.
At the other end of Starr County, Alfonso Rodriguez, then 38, the director of Mariachi Grulla de Plata, was equally hungry for a win. With just 1,500 residents, La Grulla has its own high school but shares a school district with Rio Grande City. Rodriguezs mild demeanor belies his meticulousness and intensity as a director. Since he started the schools program 12 years before, his varsity group had almost always landed in the top three at the competition. When he tied Roma for first, he started to believe they could outright win it. He had come out of lockdown more focused than ever. “Every year,” he said, “I compete against myself.
Image
Credit...Benjamin Lowy for The New York Times
The directors had just over three months left to select and arrange two songs, teach the students their parts and drill and polish their shows so intensely the young musicians could do it in their sleep. With the worst of the Covid-19 pandemic waning, all three of the Starr County mariachis were ready to taste glory.
**The towns that make** up Starr County are older than Mexico or the United States, let alone the border that separates them. In 1749, a Spanish military officer named José de Escandón established the colony Nuevo Santander, which spanned the Rio Grande across what is now northeastern Mexico and South Texas. The communities that would become Rio Grande City, La Grulla and Roma began as ranches on Spanish land grants where families raised sheep, goats and cattle. What would become Texas cowboy culture was born in the region and flourished for a century. Then came a dizzying string of conflicts, as Mexico asserted its independence, Texas seceded and joined the United States and the Americans started the Mexican-American War, which ended in 1848. The river became a border, and the land to the north became Starr County. In only four decades, its residents had gone from being Spaniards to Mexicans to Texans to Americans.
Image
Credit...Benjamin Lowy for The New York Times
It was around this time that mariachi began to emerge into the historical record, but it would be more than a century before the music would fully take root in Starr Countys schools. Musicians in western Mexico had long been melding the sounds of Spanish string instruments with the musical and performance styles of Indigenous and African peoples; the word *mariachi* may come from the Indigenous name for a kind of tree that was popular with local guitar makers. The word was well known enough by 1852 that a priest used it in a letter to describe a nearby band that was making too much noise. Jonathan Clark, a historian of mariachi, has traced the musics progress since. By the 1930s, it migrated to the cities — taking on a sharper look and a brassier sound, with the addition of trumpets. The music made its way north to Los Angeles, and it was there in 1961 that one of the first U.S.-based professional groups, Mariachi Los Camperos, was established, as well as the first student mariachi, at U.C.L.A. Soon other student groups began to form across California and Texas. In 1970, the San Antonio school district began its high school mariachi program, and it became a model for other schools across the Southwest.
By the time the music came to the schools in the Rio Grande Valley a decade later, the region was ready for it. Residents of the South Texas border had their own storied tradition in folk music — first through corridos, 19th-century narrative folk ballads that were sung by rural, working-class people on both sides of the border, and subsequently through conjunto, the music of Tejanos that emerged in the 1920s through a collision of established local sounds (the guitar and Mexican bajo sexto) with the button accordion and polka styles brought to Texas by German, Czech and Polish immigrants. The culture was right, too. In the Valley, as locals refer to the region, residents felt comfortably Mexican and American, a perfect laboratory for a musical genre that itself knew no borders.
The first high school mariachi in the region was founded in 1982, in a town called La Joya, in part to help integrate Mexican immigrant students and in part to help lower the dropout rate. Then in 1989, the University of Texas-Pan American inaugurated its mariachi-education program. Mariachi was an oral tradition, but the instructors and students there began writing their own sheet music. They applied music pedagogy and techniques from band and orchestra education. “When we started graduating students with degrees in music, the climate changes a little bit,” said Dahlia Guerra, a classical pianist who helped found the program and is now a high-level university administrator. “So now we have professional musicians who are teaching it at this level. Not to say its better than or less than the folkloric oral tradition in Mexico, and what you see in restaurants and things. It was just more developed, a more learned way of teaching mariachi.” The school trained generations of mariachi directors. Today the university is called the University of Texas Rio Grande Valley, and it has the most highly regarded college mariachi in the country, Mariachi Aztlán.
Image
Credit...Benjamin Lowy for The New York Times
Image
Credit...Benjamin Lowy for The New York Times
Yamil Yunes, who founded Romas mariachi in 1993, said the level of musical training and his students intimacy with the music and language were two of the reasons his program eventually became an example for other high schools. He would travel the country as a consultant, yet would sometimes struggle to help directors improve their programs, because their students spoke less Spanish and were more removed from Mexican culture. He said there is something deeply enduring about mariachi and the way it shapes the young people who play it. Unlike band students, who often put their instruments away once they graduate, many mariachi students keep playing even if they dont become professional musicians. “Once youre a mariachi, youre always a mariachi,” he said.
**By mid-October,** Starr County was in the full swing of homecoming games, parades and bonfires. Stadiums filled with families dressed in school colors and little girls wearing ponytails finished with giant bows. The temperature was still reaching the low 90s, but autumn took some of the edge off the summers suffocating heat and brought with it a fertile sense of possibility.
As the school day wound down in Rio Grande City one Thursday evening, Zárate sat in his office staring intently at his computer. Practice was about to start, and he was just finishing writing the opening song for the Extravaganza. On a dry-erase board in the practice room just outside his office, one of his students had written in red marker, “Days until Vargas: 41,” then surrounded the words with a cloud in blue ink. Below it she added, “Dont believe in luck, believe in hard work!” with the last two words underlined twice.
Each school would get seven minutes to perform, and the directors job was to create a dazzling program that would show off all their students strengths. The groups first play a short opening tune called a tema that introduces their team, then a longer song highlighting their technical prowess and featuring solos by each instrument section. Most directors hire musical composers or arrangers; some arrange their own songs and a few even write them from scratch. Rodriguez had hired someone to write for the Grulla team, adding his own touches. His team was furthest along, having already been practicing both of their songs for three weeks. Garza had gone on a two-day retreat earlier that week to prepare Romas music, writing an original tema and arranging a popular song for the main portion of the program. He was holding extra rehearsals so his students could master the basics, then move into drilling and polishing.
Image
Credit...Benjamin Lowy for The New York Times
Unlike the others, Zárate planned to write both songs — the show would all be original music. It was his first year, and he wanted to make it special. All he had right now was the opening tune, though, which was 2 minutes 30 seconds long. Students were beginning to stream into the hall, so he hit print on his computer. “Guys, lets start!”
The students, music in hand, made a shaky effort at the opening. “Trumpets,” Zárate instructed three students in the back, “make the introduction sound majestic — *pa ra ra ra ra* — like a king is coming!” They tried again. “Were going to keep drilling and drilling and drilling!” he warned them.
Then it was time to introduce the vocals, the lyrics for which he had shared through a group chat. The students pulled out their phones. Zárate was going to sing the harmonies to them, and the students would try to match them. They began together: *“Cascabel! Ha llegado su mariachi, sí señor!”* Without sheet music, it was hard to know what notes to hit, and some of the voices started to waver, singing the wrong note or going flat. Hearing the dissonance, their voices faded. Not only do mariachi members have to be good musicians; they have to learn to sing well too, especially the violinists, who most often are the leads. Zárate and his students had to figure out how to layer all the voices properly.
“Do it again,” he said. “Lets do it slowly.” He sang the first note to demonstrate: *“Laaaaa* — dont sound shaky!” The students tried singing the first few words again and again, Zárate stomping his foot each time they were supposed to change notes. Still it wasnt perfect. He decided to try something different, motioning for them to gather around him. “Do it slowly, dont do vibrato,” he said. “Let me just hear that note. Get close, get close!” “No le tengan miedo,” one of the students quipped — dont be afraid of him — eliciting some laughs. “As long as you dont bite,” another said. The students now stood shoulder to shoulder, some with masks still on. “Stick to that note,” Zárate said, demonstrating. *“Mariachiiiii* — then you change!”
Finally, he began to hear what he wanted. The complex harmony was coming together. “OK, *thats* the chord!” he said. “Do it again!”
After more tries, Zárate was ready for his students to finish off the phrase, which would triumphantly announce the groups arrival: *“Mariachiiiii ... Cascabel!”* This time, when the students sang, their voices produced a rich, sonorous harmony that brought goose bumps. “There we go!” he exclaimed. The students scattered back to their microphone stands. One of them, exuberant, declared to her director: “Youre so talented!”
The week was over, and all three teams had laid the foundation for their shows. Now the hardest work lay ahead. Next week, they would begin rehearsing longer hours and even on weekends. It wasnt enough to play well. Mariachi Vargas would judge them on many other details, like how well they rolled their Rs, the aplomb with which they carried themselves and how much technique they could show off on their instruments. “With Vargas, its all about the show,” Rodriguez had told me. “You cant go out there and play a bolero. You have five to seven minutes to win the judges. You have to *sell* the show.”
Image
Credit...Benjamin Lowy for The New York Times
**The crown jewel of** Roma, Mariachi Nuevo Santander was always in high demand, even through the pandemic. Kelly Clarkson interviewed Garza on national television after the group recorded a performance video from their homes that went viral, and they were invited to play virtually for President Bidens Latino inaugural, delivering a bilingual rendition of “This Land Is Your Land.” Locally, the students played regularly at ribbon-cutting ceremonies and other civic events.
One warm Thursday morning that October, they were set to play for an event sponsored by U.S. Customs and Border Protection, in honor of National Hispanic Heritage month. It was being held in Romas historic town square, which is ringed by elegant, pastel 19th-century buildings in varying states of restoration. Three white plastic tents were strung with papel picado. Under them, about two dozen Hispanic agents in blue and green uniforms sat around plastic folding tables topped with brightly colored tablecloths and clay jugs with flowers. Jaime Escobar Jr., the mayor, sat with the fire chief and a few other local officials. Nearby, a long table was draped in a Mexican serape and topped with platters of pan dulce, while next to it, two women pushed around sizzling pieces of chicken and beef on gas griddles. The mariachi members stood quietly to the side in their black-and-silver trajes de charro, the girls in matching red lipstick and sparkling chandelier earrings. At the front podium, one of the violinists, a boy named Francisco Garcia Jr., was singing the national anthem.
The event was intended to celebrate Hispanics rich contributions to the nation, a theme that seemed appropriate given that roughly half of the Border Patrols agents are Hispanic or Latino. It also reflected, if unintentionally, the degree to which the border and its policing have cast a lengthening shadow over life in Starr County. Over the past 30 years, the region has become more intensely patrolled, and walls have been going up to try to stanch the flow of drugs and undocumented immigrants. Some of this is responding to a stark reality, and some of it is political theater. In March 2021, Gov. Greg Abbott, who is running for re-election this year, launched [Operation Lone Star,](https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2021/12/15/us/texas-border-immigration-operation-lone-star.html) flooding the region with thousands of Texas National Guard soldiers and state troopers. They were there to stop immigrants and drugs, but when the troopers first arrived, a county official told me, they issued almost 18,000 traffic citations in just over five months. On my visits, I was surrounded by agents who were staying at the same hotel in Rio Grande City on their temporary assignments, and as I drove between towns, it wasnt uncommon for me to pass six or seven of their S.U.V.s within 10 minutes. I learned to drive at excessively low speeds, and had the feeling of constantly being watched.
The main speaker at the event was a Border Patrol officer named Sergio Tinoco, a man in his late 40s with a wide chest and a crew cut. He took the podium with American and government flags waving behind him and spoke quietly and earnestly. Along with other professionals, C.B.P. agents helped serve as role models for the Valleys children, he said, many of whose parents hadnt gone to college. He apologized in advance if he grew emotional, because this was his own story.
“Twenty-six years ago, I took the oath for the very first time,” he said. He explained that when he first joined the U.S. Army, it was just another job to him, following years of roaming the country with his family, picking vegetables by their side since he was 7 years old. “It was something I needed to do in order to finally break the family cycle of being a poor migrant worker,” he said. “This oath meant that I wouldnt have to break my back anymore. I wouldnt have to pick cucumbers or tomatoes at 35 cents a hamper.” But after the sharply dressed drill sergeants tore him down mentally in boot camp, then built him back up, he started to feel something welling up inside of him that he recognized as American pride. Then his life as a soldier took a harsh turn. He was deployed to Bosnia, where he found himself under fire, clearing mass graves and being slammed against a tank by an exploding land mine. He started binge drinking. One drunken night, he beat up his best friend so badly the friend ended up in the hospital. A commanding officer urged Tinoco to address his mental health and reconnect with the “greatness” that was still inside of him. Gradually, he started to climb out of his hole.
In 2005, two years after leaving the Army, the Border Patrol called, with a job that would bring him back home to the Valley. His family was opposed. “How could I join an agency that was responsible for apprehending and deporting people of my own kind, especially when I still had family living in Mexico?” But the work proved to be profoundly rewarding. The agents lifted each other up, he said. “All this in times when it seems the majority of the country is against us.” He pleaded with the agents and officers in the audience never to stop believing in people like him.
The program wrapped up with a few more speakers who talked about the strength the United States draws from its immigrant roots. Then the chaplain returned to the podium to close the event with one last prayer: “It is you, Lord, that spoke creation into being. As you breathed life into men, you, Lord, also made Hispanics, and it was good.” He asked God to “give us the strength and courage to create a place of welcome for all.”
With that, it was time for tacos and mariachi music. The Roma students arranged themselves next to the tents, planted their feet shoulder-width apart and turned their gaze to their leader as the agents applauded politely. The first-chair violinist, a senior named Adrianna Martinez, leaned forward and did a quick signal with her bow, and the students burst into their rendition of “El Son de la Negra,” a song that many people regard as the second Mexican national anthem. When the event was done, the mariachi and their director posed with the agents for a photo.
The students had the same dreams that Tinoco did. They were proudly American, and yet they yearned to be embraced by their community. A few days later, I spoke with them at school about their experiences. Three of the students lived in Ciudad Miguel Alemán, crossing the border each morning to attend school in Roma. Martinez, the violinist, brought up the C.B.P. ceremony, and the seeming contradiction inherent in celebrating border agents and Hispanic heritage at the same time. “I feel like those two things dont really match,” she said. “Its very interesting, because again, they are Hispanic, so they are technically on our side. But, its also interesting to see when they arent.” For her, being in mariachi was how she negotiated the way the education system was Americanizing her and the ties she wanted to maintain with her familys past. She admired the veneration Garza taught them to hold toward the mariachi traje, showing them how to care for the uniform and respect it. “I think its important to always be connected to that, and know that theres importance to that,” she said. “And that way, I feel like Im not too Mexican, too American. I just — Im Mexican American.”
Image
Credit...Benjamin Lowy for The New York Times
**As Thanksgiving approached,** the mariachis entered the most grueling part of their preparations. With the Extravaganza now just three weeks away, it was time to rehearse their shows on a stage. That meant practicing walking in and out, synchronizing their movements upstage as different vocalists took turns singing, and projecting to the back of a large auditorium. “You feel it, theyre going to feel it!” Garza told his team as they rehearsed in Romas state-of-the-art performing-arts center. Rodriguez was rehearsing the Grulla team out of an older auditorium, where the microphones kept giving out. “Guys, it sounded decent, but you look boring,” he said. “Fix it, please!” The rehearsal time and demands of schoolwork were wearing the students down, but no one doubted that it was worth it.
One Tuesday after rehearsals, I went to visit Martinez, Romas violinist, at her familys small brick home. The 18-year-old greeted me in jeans, white Adidas and a black T-shirt, her dark hair braided to the side. The senior-class valedictorian, she had played in the varsity group since she was a freshman. Martinez said she was the only student she knew of in a mariachi who played two instruments, switching to trumpet on some songs, which she had learned on her own. With varying degrees of proficiency, she had also taught herself to play the ukulele, vihuela, guitar, piano and drums. Her bedroom was a musical shrine, with at least nine instruments sitting on her desk or hung on her walls, next to contest medals and framed awards and pictures. She loved recording musical arrangements on her MacBook and was a video-production student at school. She dreamed of one day becoming a movie director, and said she was filming a documentary for her class about life in Roma, where she felt fortunate to have been raised, as it was so tight-knit. “But obviously,” she said, “and everyone will say this, its 99 percent Hispanic here, so Im not exposed to other things. Im just exposed to what we have here. So that could be very restricting.”
Martinez was naturally interested in politics. In sixth grade, she tried to pin down her classmates about their views on abortion rights. But it was in the run-up to the 2020 presidential election that she found herself following more closely. In 2016, Starr County, historically a Democratic bastion, overwhelmingly supported Hillary Clinton over Donald Trump, 79.1 percent to 19 percent. But in 2020, it registered the largest shift to Trump in the country, with Biden winning by only 5 percent of the vote. Martinez said Roma felt sharply divided in a way it hadnt before; residents became more “in your face” about their politics. She considered herself to fall “further left than liberals,” but she knew plenty of conservatives and understood them. The national media ran stories about how Latinos were turning Republican and attributed the shift, in part, to its residents identifying as white in the U.S. census. But Martinez had a different view.
“Here, literally, my house is five minutes from the border to Mexico,” she said. “Youre going to hear that Were mexicanos, were Tejanos.’”
Instead, she said, Starr County residents were old-school Democrats who were family-oriented and socially conservative, and who had believed Republican claims that voting for Biden would mean losing their jobs in the oil fields. “At school, a lot of people are related to pipeliners,” she said. “I also understood its the pandemic, everyones depending on their income.”
The next evening, I met up with a different student, Joey Escamilla, the lead guitarist in Mariachi Grulla de Plata. As dusk turned to dark, we sat at a concrete picnic table in the towns park. He had come from wrestling practice, freshly showered with his short hair gelled neatly to the side. He wore wire-frame glasses and a wrestling shirt bearing the schools Gator mascot. Escamilla, then 17, was a senior who had also been on the varsity mariachi all four years.
La Grulla had not been an easy place to grow up, he said. Though the crime problem on the border is often exaggerated in the media — Rio Grande Citys mayor, Joel Villarreal, had told me, referring to the local grocery store, “Youre not fighting cartels to go to H-E-B!” — it was still an important part of Escamillas reality. In La Grulla, smugglers sometimes hire young boys to help them sneak drugs or migrants past the interior immigration checkpoint about 80 miles north. “You get paid to stash them or you get paid to move them,” he told me. Because the town is near the river, its crawling with police cars and Border Patrol S.U.V.s, and helicopters constantly hover overhead. The criminals are one thing, but the authorities pose their own set of challenges. The students have to deal with being pulled over by state troopers on their way to practice and being searched for drugs before traveling to competitions; a few of them have undocumented parents who couldnt travel to the Extravaganza because of the checkpoint. As we talked, Escamilla warily scanned the park. Noting a yellow car that had circled a few times, he said, “I have a feeling they might think that youre a narc.”
Some of his family had followed migrant work north three generations before, ending up in Richland, Wash., where he was born. Eventually, divorce led his mother back to the border to be near the rest of her family, and Joey lived with her and his three younger sisters next to his grandmother, great-grandmother and great-great-grandmother — five generations in two homes on one lot. But two of his grandmothers died of Covid during the worst of the pandemic, leaving the family reeling with sadness. Starr County had registered one of the highest Covid death rates in the country. Escamillas mother, a home health aide, was out of work, and her partner worked outside the state. “What sucks about growing up here is that sometimes you got to learn how to grow up quick,” he said. “So now, here I am, a 17-year-old kid, worrying about: Is my mom OK, are the girls OK? Are the bills paid?’” The pressure and conflicting schedules of wrestling and mariachi just added to the mix, and sometimes it was all too much. At a recent rehearsal, hed had to walk off the stage, anxiety getting to him.
But when he talked about mariachi, his face lit up. “I love this music so much,” he told me. “This is, like, my entire life.” For years, hed been watching YouTube videos of the industrys top musicians. “I want to be the best there ever was,” he said, smiling. He hoped to join the Marine Corps for a few years after high school, then study music and become a mariachi director somewhere outside of Texas, away from the constraining boundaries hed experienced in La Grulla. I asked him if he thought his team was ready for the Extravaganza, and he said not quite yet, but that they were sounding “pretty damn good, Im not going to lie.” With a little more effort, he felt they could very well be champions. “If we could just have a couple of practices where were all laser-beam focused, having fun, but also have our eyes on the prize,” he said, “oh, man. We could become a monster.”
Image
Credit...Benjamin Lowy for The New York Times
Image
Credit...Benjamin Lowy for The New York Times
**After three more weeks** of rehearsals, December finally arrived. It was time for the Extravaganza. At Roma High School, the students were more than ready. The school district was sending teams from its two middle schools, as well as its junior-varsity and varsity high school teams, both of which Garza had trained. Come Thursday, 56 students would be departing to San Antonio on charter buses, and a separate fan bus for students would also be going, as well as a caravan of parents. Over at La Grulla, the team was holding its last dress rehearsals in the high schools cafeteria, where the microphones worked better than in the older auditorium. It was time for some tough love, so the students could rise up from the realm of the good to the realm of champions. “You guys dont want to win, do you?” Rodriguezs assistant, Orlando De Leon, asked them one evening. “Because if you did, you would have a different demeanor at these practices!” Given the level of competition, one weak moment in a song, one musical passage they failed to clean up, one flaw in their postures could cost them first place.
In Rio Grande City, the students finally got their full set of music the week before. Deciding to write the whole show so quickly had proved an overly ambitious plan for Zárate. He was playing catch-up with the rest of his work demands, and at night, he prayed to God to fill him with inspiration so he could finish the second song. Whenever the students met, theyd ask anxiously for their music. They should have been rehearsing the complete show for six weeks now, like the other teams, but their music had come in bits and pieces. Zárate had heard about Grullas struggles with the microphones in the school districts auditorium, so hed signed up to use the cafeteria stage, but time was hard to come by because the theater class and cheerleading squad also needed it. The students had to practice their entrances and exits, so at one last rehearsal that Tuesday evening, they rehearsed inside their cramped hall, walking single-file into the room with their sombreros on, microphone cords curled about their feet.
The next day, I found Zárate in his office and was surprised to see him looking relaxed. His students had caught up quickly with the music, he told me, and they were feeling ready. “Theyre pulling their weight,” he said. “Theyre doing what theyre supposed to. And more than anything, theyre just hungry. Theyre musically hungry.” It seemed the pandemic had made everyone hungry — to reconnect socially, to listen to music, to feel something. “For me, music is all about feeling,” Zárate said. His strength as a director was his musical talent. He was singing and playing guitar by age 4; by age 7 he was accompanying his guitar-playing father on violin at a local restaurant. When he wrote music, he tried to make his songs unpredictable, with unexpected chords and rhythm changes that took listeners on an emotional ride. Still, his group wasnt sounding as tight as either Roma or La Grulla. Zárate knew it, and felt he could have gotten them there with a little more time. But the students might have an edge in how they performed and touched people. Zárates second song, the one meant to show off their technical prowess, was a joyous, infectious huapango huasteco that was hard to listen to without wanting to dance.
I asked him who posed the biggest threat in San Antonio, and he said it was one of the teams from Las Vegas, Las Vegas Academy of the Arts. Theyd been inching up the rankings and placed second to Roma in the last Extravaganza. This could very well be the year they nabbed first, ending the reign of the Valley groups. The K-12 mariachi programs in the Las Vegas area have grown tremendously, enrolling some 6,000 students. Aside from Las Vegas and the Starr County teams, there were six other high school groups from the Valley that were usually competitive, Zárate said, although two would not attend this year. That still left at least eight mariachis that were serious contenders for a trophy.
Image
Credit...Benjamin Lowy for The New York Times
That evening, it was time for the young musicians to pack. Six girls from the varsity groups — four from Grulla, and one each from Roma and Rio Grande City — had made finals in the vocal competition, so they also had billowing gowns and accessories to take with them. Inside a stately beige stucco home in Rio Grande City, 14-year-old Michelle Meraz, a freshman, was practicing singing in hers, a floor-length, off-the-shoulder green mermaid dress that hugged her hips and flared out at the knees with a petticoat. A gold eagle from the Mexican coat of arms was embroidered at the top of the skirt, and its sides were lined with gold metal pieces like traditional mariachi trajes. She paired it with a bone-colored sombrero that had a green-and-gold rim, and tonight her dark, curly hair fell down her back. Her grandmother gasped when Meraz first walked out of her bedroom in her costume. She had transformed from a high school student to a beautiful ranchera singer, ready to mesmerize an audience.
Merazs mother — who grew up in Ciudad Miguel Alemán before she and her husband moved north of the river to escape the drug-related violence — had ordered the dress from a tailor in Monterrey, Mexico, who regularly made costumes for Mexican celebrities. Meraz helped with the design, connecting with the tailor on video chats as her mother measured her, and when the dress was finished, the family drove two hours to pick it up. It cost $2,000, but she promised to make good use of it by also wearing it at her quinceañera in the spring.
Meraz had worried about her group falling behind. “It was kind of hard because everyone already had their music,” she said. But she felt confident because she felt they had other strengths, and she couldnt contain her excitement. Playing with the varsity team at the Extravaganza while also competing as a vocalist had been her longtime dream. She knew the competition would be fierce, but thought her team might have a chance at the top spot because of their energy and enthusiasm. “Thats what I really like about our group,” she said. “Theyre getting into it — smiles, everything, showmanship. I love that!”
**For students from** the Valley, San Antonio, roughly 200 miles to the north, is the nearest big American city. Families look forward to the Extravaganza all year, and even tiny babies arrive in matching T-shirts supporting a mariachi relative, while the adults bring placards and pompoms and noisemakers to show school spirit during the contest. When the Starr County students arrived on Thursday afternoon, the first order of business was to check into their hotels and change into jeans and school shirts for their first performance: a public serenade on the River Walk, where the San Antonio River flows around a small concrete platform surrounded by brightly lit shops and restaurants. One by one, each of the festival competitors crossed a concrete bridge onto the stage, next to a towering Christmas tree awash in gold lights, and played some of its more popular show tunes for the crowd, as tourist barges floated by.
It felt like a joyful time, the beginning of the holiday season. But after performing, the Grulla and Rio Grande City students returned to their hotel. The Roma school district had housed its students at the official event hotel, the Grand Hyatt; to keep costs down, Cascabel and Grulla de Plata were staying at a La Quinta Inn two blocks away. Their directors wanted to squeeze in one more rehearsal, and after practicing individually, each team would play for the other so the students could get used to an audience. Until now, no one had watched their shows; the directors worked extra hard to keep the programs a secret, and Zárate warned his students not to take any video or post on social media. After Rio Grande City won a coin toss and chose to go second, the members of the two groups became fast friends. While each group played, the other listened, jaws dropped. Each was impressive in its own way, and it was hard to predict which one a judge might rank above the other. Both teams wanted to win, but it seemed the students also had developed a bond — whoever did best, they would cheer on one anothers success.
On Friday afternoon at the citys convention center, after a morning of workshops, the semifinals began. Twelve middle schools competed first, and the two Roma schools emerged victorious as they usually did, claiming first and second place. Then it was time for the high school contest. Over the next three hours, 19 groups would perform, and members of Mariachi Vargas would select the six finalists that would play again the next day. The three judges sat below the stage in matching blue festival polo shirts, each with a set of score sheets and a Starbucks cup. The auditorium was a sea of families and mariachi students.
First up among the Starr County teams was Rio Grande City. As their school was announced, the members of Mariachi Cascabel walked onto the stage calmly, instrument in one hand, sombrero in the other. They set their hats down for a moment and adjusted their microphone stands as a tense silence filled the room. Sofia Ozuna, the lead violinist, looked around, making sure all the members were ready. The clock would start ticking with their first note, and violating the seven-minute limit by even a few seconds could disqualify them. Ozuna turned back to the audience and flashed a tremendous smile. She lifted her hat toward the sky as the others matched her gesture, then together, they lowered them onto their heads. This was where the ultimate transformation happened. The students had to pull from within them the very best they could, performing the biggest version of themselves. Ozuna did a quick one-two with her bow and the music began, the regal tema that Zárate had written.
[Rio Grande Citys strengths were their energy, showmanship and musicality.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOXkHT8PjQU&ab_channel=mariachimusicdotcom) Zárates songs were unique and full of flavor, and the students complemented them by coming alive to a degree I hadnt seen in rehearsals. They made big expressions with their faces and outstretched their arms, singing directly to the judges. After the second song began, the catchy huapango, the violinists launched into their group solo, a dizzying and highly technical arrangement of call-and-response. Then the trumpets, which had sometimes been cracking in rehearsal, followed, sounding bright and mostly clean. The judges listened attentively, occasionally leaning down to write notes. When the group finished, they leaned back and applauded.
Image
Credit...Benjamin Lowy for The New York Times
Another high school played, and then it was Grullas turn. Across the auditorium, dozens of parents held up blue-and-white placards that read “G.H.S. 2021 Mariachi Grulla de Plata.” As the students walked onto the stage, their new suits shimmered under the lights, just as Rodriguez had intended. A similar ritual ensued. Hats came on, and teenagers morphed into professionals. The music began; voices boomed. The students pushed forth unrelentingly through their two songs, the intensity of their sound never waning. Collectively, they had the best vocals of any team at the contest. And they were highly technical and played tightly. [Their performance evoked a particular sense of Mexican pride.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P274SdOv8sM&ab_channel=mariachimusicdotcom) It seemed they could very well win this. When they were finished, the violinists held their bows in the air, then the whole group took an elegant bow. Again, the judges smiled and clapped approvingly.
Twenty minutes later, it was the turn of Mariachi Nuevo Santander. They followed Las Vegas Academy of the Arts, which delivered a vigorous show that made clear why the Starr County teams considered them a threat. As the announcer called Romas name, the room erupted in loud cheers, red pompoms shaking in the air. Roma was known for packing the house with enthusiastic supporters. The relatives of Martinez, the violinist, waved individual block letters spelling out “NANA,” her nickname. As theyd rehearsed so many times, the students walked onto the stage in bone-colored outfits with red trim and red boots. Martinez signaled with her bow, and the first song began. [Roma played with a big, balanced sound and near-perfect technique,](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cefwybr2G4A&ab_channel=mariachimusicdotcom) as it had done year after year under Garza. One judge, a guitarist named Jonathan Palomar, began nodding his head along to the beat.
Then the second song started. Garza had selected “Qué Bonita Es Esta Vida,” popularized by the Colombian singer Jorge Celedón and arranged for mariachi. The song pays tribute to life, which Garza found appropriate after the isolation and deaths Starr County had endured because of the pandemic. Garcia, the violinist whod sung the national anthem at the Border Patrol ceremony, began singing: *“I love the smell of the morning ... ”* Three students joined him in the chorus, harmonizing: *“Oh, how beautiful is this life! Although sometimes it hurts so much, and despite the sorrows, there is always someone who loves us, there is always someone who takes care of us. ... ”*
The instrument solos followed. Christian Cano pulled his harp to the front of the stage and made his fingers dance on the strings. After playing with the violins, Martinez traded her instrument and joined the trumpeters in their group solo. As the students sang, Óscar Ortega, a judge who had been bobbing his head and tapping along to the music, now took a folded napkin and dabbed at his eyes. Hed done the same when Las Vegas Academy was performing, and now it became evident that he was wiping away tears. The judges took more notes, and when the show was over, they applauded as the audience chanted, “Roma, Roma, Roma!”
The college teams followed the high schools, so it was nighttime before the judges walked onto the stage to announce the high school finalists. The first name they called came as a bit of a surprise — Romas junior-varsity group had made the cut. This was an impressive feat for Garza, who had coached both teams in the same amount of time the other directors had trained one. The next four announcements were not wholly unexpected. Mariachi Cascabel, Mariachi Grulla de Plata and Mariachi Nuevo Santanders varsity team had made it, too, along with Mariachi Nuevo Cascabel from Sharyland High School, also from the Valley. Then, as Zárate had predicted, the sixth and last group was called: Mariachi Internacional from Las Vegas Academy of the Arts.
That four of six finalists were from Starr County was another impressive feat. The judges explained that todays scores would be tossed out, and each group would compete from scratch tomorrow before three new judges. After three months of preparation, it all would come down to one last performance.
**The last day of the** festival began on a promising note for Starr County: two of Grullas singers placed third in the vocal competition. All that was left for the directors that afternoon was to give the teams, now dressed and awaiting their warm-ups, a final message. Each director approached these moments differently. Rodriguez gathered his students in a hallway to tell them that, after reviewing a video of the previous days performance, he wanted to make some tweaks. “As a director, Im asking for you to respect my decisions,” he said. The students nodded, and he led them backstage to their dressing room, where they would run through parts of the show he felt needed tightening.
In the dressing room next door, the Rio Grande City teams warm-up had a welcome interruption when Carlos Martínez, the director of Mariachi Vargas, popped in to wish them well. He delivered an impromptu pep talk in Spanish. “For me, this is the most beautiful thing,” he said of mariachi music, “and how wonderful that being that you were born here in the United States, youre continuing with our traditions from Mexico.” He encouraged the students to enjoy themselves onstage. When he left, Zárate decided to let his team relax in the minutes remaining before the show. He grabbed a guitarrón and joined the students as he sang “Mi Tesoro” — “my treasure” — and one of his assistants improvised a wistful violin solo.
A few doors down, the members of Mariachi Nuevo Santander stood around Garza with their eyes closed as he recited a prayer in Spanish. When he finished, they made the sign of the cross, and Cano, the freshman harpist, wiped tears from his eyes. A strong orator, Garza gave them a speech: “Yesterday, you thought it was your best performance? Keep it, or do it even better. But youre going to show them the big heart that you have. And dont leave anything behind. Everything, every single ounce of blood, of soul, of energy and heart and pride and passion will be onstage for everyone to hear it. You need to touch every single heart in that audience, including the judges.”
At 3:40 p.m., Mariachi Cascabel, the second group to perform, was in the shadows of the stage, ready to walk into the limelight. Zárate looked happy and relaxed. “Let it rip, guys!” he said, and the show was on.
One by one, each of the groups repeated their rousing, energetic performances from the day before. There were small imperfections, but to the untrained ear, they were hard to discern. The judges, which this time included Martínez, along with the trumpeter Agustín Sandoval and the harpist Víctor Álvarez, listened intently, leaning in to share in one anothers ears and jotting down notes. At one point, Martínez drummed his hands on the table and played an imaginary guitar on his chest.
Then it was over, and the judges disappeared into a private room to determine the winners. They had been asked to score the teams in five categories: trumpets, violins, rhythm section, vocalists and presentation. They huddled together and laid their sheets next to one another to compare notes. The judges shared their scores and positive impressions of each of the groups in the order they had performed.
Rio Grande City: “Excellent change of rhythms, well managed. ... ”
Grulla: “The soloists, all of them, all of them very in tune, each one. ... ”
Roma: “Trumpets, it was just two of them, but they sounded very good. ... ”
Las Vegas: “I liked that they would sing pizzicatos, thats something no one else does. ... ”
But there were also withering critiques. They were disappointed that one musician had sung so much she hardly played her instrument. In another group, they didnt like that one boy wore an earring, another had long hair and a third had a nonmatching belt buckle. In the end, the scores for the top three teams were exceedingly close, with differences of less than a point and one tie. So they discussed additional factors, like the difficulty of the songs and how each group had made them feel. In the end, the judges agreed that they each ranked the teams in the same order, even if the differences were so minor.
“I do have one clear winner,” Sandoval said. “I do, too,” Álvarez agreed. When they were done scoring, Martínez reflected on how complicated it was, since only small details differentiated the top three mariachis. “How tough, how tough!” he said.
As word spread that an announcement was imminent, the restless students and parents returned to their seats, and the judges re-emerged on the stage. Martínez explained they would announce third, second and first place, and he passed the microphone to Álvarez to begin. “And third place goes to Mariachi — ” Álvarez paused for dramatic effect. “Nuevo Santander, Roma High School!”
The audience applauded, but an evident sense of surprise hung in the room. Several groups had hoped to push Roma into second place, but no one expected them to get third. This left the door wide open for not one but two other schools to shine this year. The Roma students looked disappointed, but they took the news gracefully, walking toward the stage with their heads held high. They accepted their trophy and posed for a group photo with the judges, then returned to their seats.
It was Sandovals turn to announce the next place. “And second place — is for Mariachi Grulla de Plata, Grulla High School!” The room broke into cheers. The Rio Grande City students jumped from their seats with joy, shouting, and the Grulla team made its way to the front, looking proud and satisfied. On the stage, two girls sneaked in a selfie with their phones.
Now the Rio Grande City students stared tensely at the stage from their seats. Some clenched hands. Their school hadnt been called, but neither had Las Vegas, which delivered powerful shows both days — as good as any of the Starr County groups, it seemed. So it was going to be everything or nothing for them. Martínez took the microphone and explained how difficult it had been to single out a winner. He congratulated all of the teams and their teachers for being such fine representatives of mariachi music.
“But this time,” he said, “we decided between the three of us that first place is for — Mariachi Cascabel!”
Image
Credit...Benjamin Lowy for The New York Times
Zárates students shrieked, jumping from their seats, clutching one another in sheer ecstasy and disbelief. They stormed the stage, screaming. They chanted, “Rio, Rio, Rio!” as they pumped their fists in the air. Down on the auditorium floor, Zárate smiled as his assistants hugged him and slapped his back. Ozuna, the violinist, accepted the trophy from a smiling Martínez, and the group posed for a photo. Then the Grulla students ran onto the stage to join their friends, and red- and blue-clad mariachis embraced each other joyously.
Afterward, in the theater lobby, Zárate looked happy but subdued. “I dont even know what to feel — its just been a roller coaster,” he said. He reflected on all the challenges the semester had posed. His eyes were turning wet, and he smiled: “I should do another arrangement with all these feelings that Im going through right now.”
**Plenty of other contests** would follow that spring. At an important competition at the University of Texas Rio Grande Valley, Roma took first place over Rio Grande City and other teams, vindicating Garza and his students. And as summer came and turned to fall again, all three directors began to prepare to battle for another national title. On Nov. 17, this years Extravaganza competition will begin, though, in a somewhat melancholy transition, Mariachi Vargas de Tecalitlán, now under new management, will not return. The festival declined to meet a higher fee request, according to the events organizers, and another well-regarded group — as it happens, called Mariachi Nuevo Tecalitlán — will judge instead.
As far as what the future held for the Starr County students, that lay ahead. Some would leave the border, looking for greener pastures, and some would stay, responding to the pull of family and community. They would become mariachi instructors, engineers, perhaps even movie directors. Adrianna Martinez ended up enrolling in the radio, television and film program at the University of Texas at Austin, where she also plays for the universitys mariachi along with four other Roma graduates. Escamilla took a different path from his original plan, enrolling in a nursing program at a local college, all paid for through financial aid. “Yeah, it looks like this is my thing,” he told me with pride. But he was also consulting for Grullas mariachi, and he shared excitedly that five of their female vocalists made the finals and would compete at the Extravaganza.
What all the students shared is that mariachi had changed them. The experience of standing on a stage, of competing together as teammates, of pulling the audience into their music, had shown them all that they contained a much bigger version of themselves. Whatever path each one took, Yamil Yunes was right: They would always be mariachis.
Image
Credit...Benjamin Lowy for The New York Times
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**Cecilia Ballí** is a writer and cultural anthropologist based in Texas. She has conducted research on Tejano identity and culture, the sexual killing of women in Ciudad Juárez, the U.S.-Mexico border wall and Latino voter participation. **Benjamin Lowy** is a photographer who covered conflict and social issues for more than a decade before turning to adventure and underwater work.
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# A Crime Beyond Belief
## A Harvard-trained lawyer was convicted of committing bizarre home invasions. Psychosis may have compelled him to do it. But in a case that became a public sensation, he wasnt the only one who seemed to lose touch with reality.
###### The *Atavist* Magazine, No. 126
[Katia Savchuk](https://www.katiasavchuk.com/) is a magazine writer based in the San Francisco Bay Area. A proud generalist, she is drawn to stories about inequality, psychology, wrongdoing, and mysteries of all kinds. Previously, she was a staff reporter at *Forbes*. Her work has appeared in *The New Yorker, Mother Jones*, *Marie Claire*, *Elle*, *Pacific Standard*, and *The Washington Post,* among others. Follow her on Twitter at [@katiasav.](https://twitter.com/katiasav)
**Editor:** Seyward Darby
**Art Director:** Ed Johnson
**Fact Checker:** Kyla Jones
**Copy Editor:** Sean Cooper
**Illustrator:** Juan Bernabeu
*Published in April 2022.*
---
1.
**Just after seven** in the morning on June 9, 2015, Misty Carausu joined a group of police officers lining up outside a dark green cabin with white trim. The blinds inside were drawn. Jeffrey pines cast thick shadows across the driveway. The air was still but for the scrape of boots on asphalt and the occasional call of a bird.
Carausu, 35, was at least a head shorter than the other officers, and the only woman. She wore iridescent eye shadow and pearl earrings along with a tactical vest. As she gripped her gun, she felt as if shed stepped into one of the true-crime documentaries she binge-watched at night. It was Carausus first day as a detective.
En route to the scene, shed been filled in on the case. Around 3:30 a.m. the previous Friday, a 52-year-old nurse named Lynn Yen, who lived at the edge of Dublin, the suburb east of San Francisco where Carausu worked, had called 911. Minutes earlier, Lynn and her 60-year-old husband, Chung, woke to a flashlight and a laser shining in their faces. A masked man dressed in black stood at the foot of their bed. “We have your daughter, and shes safe,” the man said. Kelly, 22, had been in her bedroom across the hall.
Using what Lynn described as a “calm, soft voice,” the intruder told the couple to turn over and put their hands behind their backs. Then he announced that he would tie them up. When Chung felt the man touch him, he took a swing. Lynn grabbed her phone from the nightstand, locked herself in the bathroom, and called for help. She told the dispatcher that she heard fighting, then her husband yell, “Honey, go get the gun,” even though they didnt own one. A few minutes later, the intruder fled downstairs and out the back door, which opened onto miles of rolling hills and open fields.
When officers arrived at the scene, Chung had bruises on his arms and face and was bleeding from a cut above his ear—he said the intruder had hit him with a metal flashlight. A window near the back door was open, and the screen had been removed. In the couples bedroom, police found a black wool glove and three plastic zip ties. On a gravel path behind the house, near a cluster of foxtails, officers recovered another zip tie and a six-inch shred of black duct tape. Kelly, who was unharmed, handed a sergeant something shed found on a hallway cabinet near her room: a cell phone she didnt recognize.
Police later traced the phone number to the cabin Carausu and her colleagues were now preparing to enter. It sat on a residential street in South Lake Tahoe, a ski resort town 130 miles from Dublin. As the raid began, Carausu heard the cabins front door splinter. Officers barked *“Search warrant!”* as they shoved through a barricade of chairs. Carausu maneuvered around clutter on the living room floor: a set of crutches, license plates, clothing, electronics, a massage table. Empty boxes were piled against a window; open bottles of wine and cans of spray paint littered the kitchen counters.
Carausus job was to process evidence. She snapped photos of a black ski mask, black duct tape, and mismatched black gloves. A stun gun sat on a rocking chair. In a bankers box she found more duct tape and gloves, along with walkie-talkies, a radar detector, zip ties, rope, and a device for making keys. In a bathroom were makeup brushes and a partly empty bottle of NyQuil. An open tube of golden brunette hair dye lay on the sink, near a disposable glove stained with the dyes residue. In one bedroom were three more gloves, yellow crime-scene tape, and, on the bed, a spiked dog-training collar; in another was a bottle of Vaseline lotion, used paper towels, and a penis pump. “This is creepy,” Carausu recalled thinking as she stuffed items into paper bags. “Something crazy happened in here.” The police also collected flashlights, cell phones, hard drives, and several computers, including an Asus laptop that had been stashed under a mattress.
Around noon, Carausu and her colleagues drove to a tow yard to search a stolen white Mustang recovered near the cabin. Inside, they found items they thought could be linked to the Dublin break-in: two gloves matching one from the crime scene, both covered in foxtails; receipts for a flashlight, a speaker, and zip ties purchased near Dublin the night of the home invasion; burglary tools; and a metal flashlight. The back seat of the Mustang had been removed. Carausu wondered if someone had made room for a large object, such as a body.
Strangely, other clues didnt seem connected to the Dublin crime. Among the recent destinations on the cars GPS was an address in Huntington Beach, 400 miles south of Lake Tahoe. In the trunk, Carausu saw a blood-pressure cuff, a camouflage tarp, and a mesh vest with a wireless speaker in one of the pockets. She also found a BB gun, a dart gun, and a Nerf Super Soaker that had been painted black, with a flashlight and a laser pointer taped to the barrel. Stuffed in a large duffel bag was a blow-up doll in black clothing, rigged with wiring so that it could be made to sit or stand. The bag also contained a military-style pistol belt, its pouches crammed with two pairs of Speedo swim goggles. Carausu pulled one of them out. Black duct tape covered the lenses. Caught in the tape was a long strand of blond hair.
None of the victims in the Dublin home invasion were blond. Neither was the suspect, which Carausu knew because shed watched officers escort him out of the cabin in handcuffs. He didnt put up a fight when they burst through the door. He wandered out of a bedroom and obeyed commands to lie on the ground. In his late thirties, tall and fit, the man wore a black athletic shirt and jeans. He resembled Charlie Sheen, with a chiseled jawline and tousled dark hair.
“Do you know why were here?” a detective asked.
“Yes,” he replied.
The suspect said nothing else as officers led him to a patrol car. Before they loaded him inside, Carausu told the man to look at her camera. He stared intensely into the lens, his mouth an indecipherable line. Carausu read his name on pill bottles and mail scattered around the stolen Mustang: Matthew Muller.
2.
**Muller grew up** in the suburbs of Sacramento, where homes flew American flags, wild turkeys roamed the streets, and fathers took their sons fishing for bass in Lake Natoma. His mother, Joyce, was a middle school English teacher, and his father, Monty, was a school administrator and wrestling coach. The family spent summers hiking in the Sierra Nevada, abalone diving in Bodega Bay, or relaxing at a lakeside cabin in Michigan. Each Christmas they hosted a party on their cul de sac, and Monty dressed up as Santa.
Muller was a strong-willed, introverted child. Despite his fathers best efforts, he didnt take to wrestling or football, preferring to run or ski or walk the dog alone. He played trumpet in the school band and devoured dystopian novels by George Orwell, Aldous Huxley, and Yevgeny Zamyatin. His favorite short story, Ray Bradburys “The Veldt,” was about two children who project their fantasies onto the walls of a virtual reality “nursery,” until make-believe lions come to life and eat the siblings parents.
Muller had a core group of friends at school, but bullies teased him about being overweight. Being picked on fueled his instinct to stick up for underdogs, an impulse he sometimes took to extremes. When his younger brother, Kent, was slow to talk, he appointed himself spokesperson to a degree that concerned their mom. “Hes never going to have a vocabulary if you keep speaking for him,” Joyce recalled thinking. Later, Muller stuffed gum in a girls trumpet after she taunted someone at a music competition.
During his senior year of high school, Muller learned that his father was having an affair. Monty moved in with the woman he was seeing, and he and Joyce divorced. Muller soon decided to enlist in the Marines, telling Joyce that he needed discipline and wanted to get in shape. In truth, he worried that paying for college would strain her finances.
Muller “was a round peg struggling to fit into a square hole” in the Marines, his roommate during boot camp later wrote. In the first 13 weeks, he lost more than 50 pounds. He didnt join his platoon mates on weekend outings, instead squeezing in extra workouts. For a time he subsisted on Powerade and garlic rice. He earned the nickname Sergeant Mulder, after the FBI agent on *The* *X-Files,* because of his deadpan demeanor. Muller bristled at recruits who preyed on perceived weakness: When some bullied his roommate, Muller stood up for him.
Muller spent three years playing trumpet in the Marine Corps band at bases in California and Japan, where he also started a nonprofit to teach locals about the Internet. In 1999, he deployed to train soldiers in the Middle East. He earned several medals and a promotion before being honorably discharged.
Back home in California, Muller attended Pomona College, where he threw himself into volunteer work, which included helping homeless people secure government benefits and running an outdoors program. “More than anyone I had ever met, he strived to be noble, to be kind, to be generous,” his friend Eve Florin later wrote.
In the summer of 2001, Muller traveled to Prague for an academic program. There he met a driven young woman from Kyrgyzstan with a slight figure and long dark hair. They fell in love. (The woman declined to be interviewed. At her request, *The Atavist* is not using her name.) After Muller graduated from Pomona, they exchanged vows under an arch of white roses on the sun-dappled shores of Donner Lake, about 15 miles north of Lake Tahoe.
In 2003, the couple moved to Boston, where he started at Harvard Law School and she attended Boston College. Muller became involved with Harvards Legal Aid Bureau, where he represented low-income tenants and immigrants who were victims of domestic violence. On one occasion, a clients husband found a business card that the bureaus receptionist had given her and beat her so severely that her jaw had to be wired shut. Muller blamed himself. “Their crisis felt like it was part of my life too,” he said in an interview.   
After earning his law degree, Muller stayed at Harvard to teach and work in the Immigration and Refugee Clinical Program. Dressing in suits for class, he came across as “very formal,” “intense,” and “guarded,” but also “extremely knowledgeable” and “someone who truly cared about the cause and the immigrant community,” a former student of his recalled. Muller earned near perfect ratings as a lecturer and worked with Deborah Anker, a leading scholar of immigration law, authoring papers and Supreme Court briefs. When Anker went on sabbatical, she tapped him to head the clinical program. “He was warm, caring, earnest, smart, enthusiastic, engaging, thoughtful,” Anker recalled. “He was a super good human being.”
Muller was unusually devoted to his clients, buying one a wedding gift and letting another stay at his apartment. Even when he won a case, he couldnt shake the injustice he perceived in the world. “Part of me would be really sad, because it should not take all this effort just to make something the way it shouldve been,” he said. He likened the feeling to “going into a room and needing to straighten the picture, set it right.”
For the programs anniversary one year, Muller tracked down dozens of alumni and framed their messages as a gift to Anker. His own note read: “Learning from you has been, and I think always will be, the highlight of my legal career.” This struck Anker as odd. “I thought he was going to be a leading immigration lawyer in America,” she said. “This is not the height of your career—this is the beginning.”
## Muller scoured the room for anything out of place, anything that could be a bug. Over and over, he searched for answers among the snaking wires and blinking lights.
**It came as** a shock to Mullers parents when, in the summer of 2008, he revealed that he had bipolar disorder. Mental illness ran in Montys family, though they didnt speak of it much. Muller had never mentioned any mental health problems to his parents, beyond sometimes feeling blue during the winter months, and neither had his wife.
In fact, Muller had grappled with disturbing thoughts since his time in the Marines. After receiving a series of anthrax vaccines before his Middle East mission, he struggled to get out of bed for weeks, and his performance on fitness tests plummeted. (He later attributed his symptoms to Gulf War syndrome.) For the first time, bleak thoughts took up residence in his mind: *Youre not good enough, youre the worst person in the world.* Hed been considering a long career in the military, but now he decided to request a discharge.
In college, Muller fell into a cycle: Every summer and fall, he was productive and slept little; every winter and spring, he labored to finish assignments and his mood darkened. As the winter chill set in during his second year of law school, negative thoughts cut particularly deep: *Youre not doing enough to help, youre horrible, the world is terrible*. For the first time, he contemplated suicide.
Over the years, Muller saw several psychiatrists. One at Harvard diagnosed him with major depression, noting that he also showed signs of mania. Muller tried medication but stopped each time because he didnt like the side effects. He took pains to hide his condition from his parents, from his colleagues, and, as much as possible, from his wife, who moved away in 2005 to attend law school. “It felt like a weakness, something I shouldnt be troubling other people with,” Muller said.
He especially didnt want anyone finding out about the time a delusion took hold of him. It happened while he was working at Harvard, in an office on the fourth floor of Pound Hall, a concrete building at the edge of campus. He began to suspect that the government was tapping his phone and hacking his computer. Officials were after him, he decided, because some of his clients had been accused of having links to terrorists. Nothing specific triggered his paranoia—it began as a feeling and his mind filled in the gaps.
Muller frantically inspected wall conduits that held bundles of telephone wires and followed their trail to a server room in the basement. Through a crack between two doors, he glimpsed a mess of equipment. He scoured the room for anything out of place, anything that could be a bug. Over and over, he searched for answers among the snaking wires and blinking lights.
---
**Muller hoped that** escaping New Englands winters and trading asylum law for the tamer world of patent litigation would improve his mood, so in 2009 he and his wife moved to Silicon Valley, where he started a job at a large law firm. But instead of feeling better, he again became suicidal. He agreed to get help, and a psychiatrist prescribed Wellbutrin. The antidepressant quieted Mullers suicidal thoughts and kept him productive at his new job, but it also prevented him from sleeping.
One night, he was tossing and turning on the couch to avoid waking his wife when he heard a distant, muffled voice. Half asleep, he thought the TV had come on. He heard voices again on subsequent nights, closer and clearer this time. At first he told himself he was dreaming, but eventually he was forced to admit that the voices were there when he was awake. They were androgynous, almost robotic. They didnt tell him what to do; instead, they kept up a running commentary, mostly about his faults.
Muller didnt tell his family, concerned theyd think he was “dangerous crazy.” Nor did he inform his psychiatrist, fearing it would end up in his bar application. He had let his new employer assume that he wasnt yet licensed to practice law because he needed to retake the bar exam; in fact, he had passed the exam but not yet registered with the California bar, agonizing over what to write about his mental health in the required “moral character” section of the paperwork.
In Mullers telling, to quiet the voices and wear himself out enough to sleep, he went on long walks at night. Often he hiked to the Stanford Dish, a radio telescope along a popular trail near the Stanford University campus. Not long after midnight one Friday in late September 2009, he was returning to his car in College Terrace, a residential neighborhood in Palo Alto, when a police officer stopped him and asked to see his ID. According to Muller, when the officer inquired what he was doing there so late, he said that he was visiting a friend—he was reluctant to admit that hed trespassed on a trail that was closed after dark. The officer reported that Muller claimed to be a visiting professor at Stanford, which police later determined was false.
Three weeks later, a Palo Alto police detective came to Mullers apartment and left a business card with his wife. When Muller called the number, he learned that police wanted to question him about an attempted sexual assault in College Terrace. His name had come up in recent reports of suspicious persons in the area. He told the detective that hed read about the incident in the local paper, and he agreed to meet.
According to Muller, before he could make it to the station, two detectives showed up at his law firm to question him. The encounter set him on edge. He wondered if the detectives had come to install spy equipment in his office. Recalling his recent asylum cases, he decided that they were conspiring with the Chinese government. (The Palo Alto Police Department declined to confirm that Muller was questioned at his office, citing an open investigation.)
Muller already had suspicions about a certain Honda Accord often parked near his apartment. Hed been placing pebbles behind the wheels to check whether it moved and varying his route to work to avoid being followed. Now he memorized exit routes in his office building and worked with the blinds shut. When he became convinced that his pursuers were using a laser microphone to pick up sound vibrations in his office, he decamped to the firms library. “It seemed like this was going to rapidly escalate. They were trying to destroy me, because they wanted to make me lose my job, isolate me, make me lose my credibility,” Muller recalled thinking. “At that point, I started getting afraid for my family.”
He felt he had no choice but to flee. Muller traded his car, which he assumed was bugged, for his mothers SUV and stocked up on food and survival gear. A few days later, he disappeared.
![An illustrated portrait of Misty Carausu](https://magazine.atavist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/CrimeBeyond_misty.jpg)
*Misty Carausu*
3.
**The day after** the South Lake Tahoe raid, Misty Carausu arrived at her new office on the second floor of the Dublin Civic Center. At the time, the police department occupied half the building, which resembles a ring cut in half and the fragments slid apart. Carausu sat down in an empty gray cubicle in a room with drab carpeting. She hadnt yet tacked up photos of her teenage son, whom she had at 16 and raised on her own.
Carausu didnt plan on becoming a cop. Pretty and bubbly, with manicured nails and striking hazel eyes, she was in her mid-twenties and working as an assistant manager at a Safeway when a friends husband was convicted of sexually assaulting a mutual friend. She joined the force hoping to find justice for rape victims. After a decade as a deputy, Carausu, who fostered bunnies, sometimes compared herself to Judy Hopps, the idealistic rabbit who works as a cop in Disneys *Zootopia*. 
As she labeled evidence from the cabin, Carausu couldnt get the blond strand of hair shed found in the Mustang out of her mind. “This wasnt his first time,” she told her colleagues. “Were going to solve some crimes.” With her bosss support, Carausu began to investigate whether theyd stumbled onto something larger than a single home invasion.
In police databases, Matthew Mullers name yielded a hit for an unsolved 2009 break-in near Stanford. A 32-year-old woman was sleeping in her apartment in College Terrace when a strange man jumped on top of her. He appeared to be in his twenties and was white, tall, and lean. He wore a mask, black gloves, and black spandex-like clothing. The man tied her hands behind her back, bound her ankles with Velcro straps, and covered her eyes with tape. Then he gave her a choice: drink NyQuil, get shocked with a stun gun, or be injected with what he called “A-bomb.” When she opted for the NyQuil, the man confirmed with her that she wasnt allergic to any of its ingredients before pouring the medicine down her throat.
The intruder gathered personal information and indicated hed use it to steal her money. At times the victim heard the man whisper to someone, and she would later describe seeing a silhouette in the room, but she never heard a second voice. She reported that the man tried to rape her and she fought back. When she made up a story about having been raped in high school, he stopped, saying he didnt want to victimize her again. Before leaving, he threatened to harm her family if she called 911, and mentioned that he had “planted evidence” to mislead authorities.
Three weeks before the attack, Carausu learned, a police officer had come across Muller walking late at night in the vicinity of the crime. Police later discovered that the College Terrace victim, a Stanford student, had attended an event that Muller organized at Harvard the previous year. Palo Alto detectives identified him as their primary suspect. But DNA recovered at the crime scene wasnt a match. Ultimately, law enforcement didnt find enough evidence to recommend charging Muller.
Carausu discovered that the home invasion had eerie parallels to two other unsolved crimes in Silicon Valley. Less than a month before the College Terrace incident, a 27-year-old woman in Mountain View woke around 5 a.m. to find a man on top of her. He appeared to be white and slim, about six feet tall, and wore tight black clothing and a ski mask. When she started screaming, he put his hand over her mouth and explained that he was part of a group of criminals that planned to steal her identity and wire money abroad. The man bound her hands and ankles, then placed blacked-out swim goggles over her eyes—she felt her hair catch in one of the straps. He made her drink what tasted like cough syrup before collecting personal information. At one point, he used her phone to send a message to her boss saying that she was sick. Periodically, the woman heard him talking to someone, but she never heard or saw anyone else.
Eventually, the man told her, “I have some bad news. Im going to have to rape you.” According to an account the victim later shared with NBCs *Dateline*, she begged him not to and he relented. “I cant do this,” he muttered. “Im sorry about this.” Throughout the encounter, the intruder was “polite,” the victim recalled. Before leaving, he advised her to get a dog for protection. The woman told *Dateline* that when she called the Mountain View police, they initially suggested she might have had a bad dream. Ultimately, authorities concluded that the person behind the attack had also likely committed the one in College Terrace. (In a statement for this story, the Mountain View police said, “We continue to keep this investigation open and have been and are treating it seriously.”)
The final case Carausu learned about happened three years after the other two, in November 2012. A 26-year-old woman who lived just north of the Stanford campus awoke at 2:20 a.m. to see a masked man in gloves and dark clothing at the foot of her bed. He held her down, but she screamed and fought back. Eventually, he fled. The woman later noticed that her computer had been moved and found two “bump keys,” which open any lock from a certain manufacturer, near the front door. In neither that case nor the one in Mountain View was Muller named as a suspect.
Carausu stumbled upon an additional clue when she called the owner of the stolen Mustang police had recovered in South Lake Tahoe. He turned out to be a medical student who lived on the edge of Mare Island, 40 miles northwest of Dublin. In early January 2015, he had returned from a trip to find that someone had taken his car keys from his home and driven his Mustang out of the garage. When Carausu told him that her department had arrested someone for a home invasion near where his car was found, he asked if shed heard of the “Mare Island creeper,” a Peeping Tom.
Between August 2014 and January 2015, at least four women in the area had reported seeing a man peering through their windows or climbing on their roof. Two had just taken a shower when they spotted him. One saw him taking pictures, while another saw him descending a ladder. Two of the women lived on the same street: Kirkland Avenue.
Some of the women described the voyeur as a white man, 25 to 35, wearing a black jacket. In August 2014, according to a Facebook post later documented in a police report, a Mare Island resident who heard sounds on his roof late one night saw someone fitting a similar description flee with a ladder. The resident encountered a strange man on two other occasions: One night, the man was crouching under the residents window; he said he was searching for his puppy, a husky. Another night, the resident found the same man in his backyard, where he claimed to be looking for 531 Kirkland Ave.; the address didnt exist. The student spotted the man a third time, walking a young husky and a golden retriever. According to a Facebook post, a woman who lived on Klein Avenue, a block from Kirkland, said that her neighbor had a husky and a golden retriever. The owner of the Mustang told Carausu that hed heard the womans neighbor was a former lawyer who had been in the military.
Then, as suddenly as the Peeping Tom incidents started, they stopped. “It was about the same time that the Vallejo kidnapping happened,” the Mustang owner told Carausu. *Why does that ring a bell?* she thought.
After the Dublin home invasion and Mullers arrest, a colleague of Carausus had put out an alert asking area police departments for information about similar crimes. Vallejo didnt respond. Online, Carausu found news stories about the kidnapping, which occurred three months earlier. She noted that one of the victims had blond hair. Then she remembered why the case had caught her attention: The Vallejo police had deemed it a hoax.
## A blinding light pulsed from the corner of the room, and red dots twitched across the walls—they looked like laser gun sights. “This is a robbery. We are not here to hurt you,” a man said in a businesslike tone.
**A mile wide** and less than four miles long, Mare Island is a flat, windswept peninsula within the city of Vallejo. According to legend, it was named by a Mexican general in 1835, after his white mare plunged from a capsized ship into the nearby Carquinez Strait, only to reappear onshore days later. For more than a century, the land was home to a naval base where warships and nuclear submarines were built. After the shipyard closed in 1996, Vallejo launched an ambitious redevelopment plan for Mare Island, hiring a private developer to install quaint residential neighborhoods and millions of square feet of commercial space. But the promise of instant suburbia proved illusory. Amid the Great Recession, both the city and the developer declared bankruptcy. Only around 350 of the 1,400 planned homes were built. A shopping center and a waterfront promenade were never completed. No grocery stores, cafés, or libraries opened. Instead, the landscape remained strewn with rusty railroad tracks and abandoned warehouses, concrete bomb shelters and toxic waste sites.
Lined with young ash trees and fluted lampposts, Kirkland Avenue sits at the center of Mare Island, on the edge of a tiny, crescent-shaped subdivision hugging a small park. Construction on the next street over halted so abruptly that it dead-ends after a single block, like a movie set. Most homes on Kirkland border a raised bank that opens onto salt marshes stretching out to San Pablo Bay. At night, pale street lamps strain against the dark, and the air smells of wild fennel.
Around 2 p.m. on March 23, 2015, Vallejo police got a call from a 30-year-old man named Aaron Quinn, who lived on Kirkland Avenue in an eggshell yellow house framed by neat hedges and pink rosebushes. At the scene, and later at the station, he recounted a strange story.
Quinn said that hed spent the previous evening with 29-year-old Denise Huskins, whom hed been dating for around eight months. The pair had met at a hospital in Vallejo, where they both worked as physical therapists. They looked like an all-American couple: He was a former high school quarterback; she had blue eyes and long blond hair. Around midnight, Quinn checked that all the windows and doors were locked and they went upstairs to bed. 
Three hours later, Quinn started awake. A blinding light pulsed from the corner of the room, and red dots twitched across the walls—they looked like laser gun sights. “This is a robbery. We are not here to hurt you,” a man said in a businesslike tone. He told the couple to lie facedown, but Quinn was too shocked to move. “Aaron, youre not turning over,” the man said. The intruder knew his name.
The man placed plastic zip ties on the bed and told Huskins to bind Quinns wrists and ankles. As she complied, her hands shaking, the man reassured her, “You are doing a good job.” He had Huskins walk to the large closet across the room, then helped Quinn off the bed so he could hop over to join her. Quinn kept his head down as instructed, and behind him he heard the crackle of a stun gun. He lay down on the carpet beside Huskins, shivering in his underwear.
Through the closet floor, Quinn heard someone downstairs rifling through kitchen cabinets and running a drill; he hoped this was just a twisted robbery. He felt the man put swim goggles with blacked-out lenses over his eyes and headphones over his ears. He heard melodic wind chimes, then a robotic voice. “Stay calm,” it said. “Our motivation is purely financial.” The recording, which at one point addressed Quinn by name, said he would be given a mix of NyQuil and diazepam, a sedative. The man took the couples blood pressure and asked if either of them had allergies or were on medications that were “contraindicated.” When they said no, he poured the liquid down their throats. Soon after, Quinn heard the man move Huskins to another room.
A new recording played in his ears. “You will be asked a series of questions,” it said. “If we believe you are not telling the truth, your partner will be punished by electric shock, then cuts to the face.” The intruder removed the headphones from Quinns ears and recited the address of Quinns childhood home. The man also knew where Quinn banked and asked for passwords to his financial and email accounts, his phone and laptop, and his Wi-Fi network.
After leaving briefly to speak with Huskins, the man asked Quinn if she looked like a woman named Andrea Roberts. “Yes, they both have long blond hair,” Quinn replied. Roberts was Quinns ex-fiancée and one of his and Huskinss coworkers. She had stayed in a separate bedroom at Quinns house after they broke up and moved out around the time he and Huskins began dating. “This was intended for Andrea,” the intruder said. “We got the wrong intel.”
The man left the room again for what felt like half an hour. When he came back, he told Quinn that Huskins was being taken, and that Quinn would need to pay a ransom of several thousand dollars. If he complied, Huskins would be returned within 48 hours. The man replaced Quinns headphones. A recording explained that the people committing the crime were a “black-market group” who collected “personal and financial debts.” Quinn was to stay in the house, in a marked-off area, and await instructions. If he failed to follow orders or called the police, his partner or family would be hurt. “Waiting will be the hardest part,” the recording said. “You should entertain yourself by reading.”
The man cut the zip ties around Quinns feet and guided him downstairs, where he again bound his ankles with duct tape and then laid him across the living room couch. He told Quinn to stay put until sunrise, then call in sick for work and text Huskinss boss that she was dealing with a family emergency. The man said that he would be taking Quinns car; he would let him know where it was in the morning so he could drive to the bank.
“Are you comfortable?” the man asked. Quinn asked for a blanket. “Oh yes,” the man said. “I forget how cold it is, because were wearing wetsuits.”
Quinn heard the trunk of his car shut, the engine start, and the garage door open. Using an armrest, he nudged the goggles off. The clock read 5 a.m. Groggy from the sedatives, he felt his eyes grow heavy. For the next six and a half hours, he drifted in and out of sleep. Eventually, he wiggled his wrists out of the zip ties and hopped to the kitchen, where scissors had been left for him to cut his ankles free. A device that looked like a security camera with a motion sensor beeped across the room. Strips of red tape on the floor marked the perimeter Quinn wasnt supposed to cross. His car, $200 in cash, and his Asus laptop were missing. Huskins was gone.
Soon after, Quinn received an email instructing him to take out $8,500 in cash from two different accounts. “We do not wish to trigger the $10000 reporting limit,” it said. If the bank asked why he needed the money, a second email instructed, he should reply that it was to pay for a ski boat. Quinn told police that hed agonized over whether to contact them at all, because of the kidnappers threats. Eventually, he spoke with his brother, an FBI agent, who advised him to call 911.
At the Vallejo police station, seated on a swivel chair under fluorescent lights, Quinn gave his statement to a pair of detectives. After a couple of hours, a stocky, balding man walked in wearing a blue T-shirt and jeans and chewing gum. He introduced himself as Mathew Mustard, the lead detective on the case. At first Mustards tone was collegial, but he soon made it clear he didnt believe Quinns story. “There aint no frogmen came into your house,” Mustard said. “Nobody dressed in wetsuits. It didnt happen.”  
Mustard later stated that he thought many details in Quinns account sounded fantastical: swim goggles, relaxing music, prerecorded messages, a perpetrator who supplied his victim with a blanket and reading material. The detective probed Quinn for information about his personal life, and Quinn said that he and Huskins had recently hit a rough patch. Shed found texts he sent to Roberts, his former fiancée, asking to rekindle their relationship. The night of the bizarre events Quinn described, Huskins had come over to talk through everything, and the couple had been drinking.
As far as Mustard knew, officers saw no signs of forced entry at the house. Upstairs they smelled “a strong scented odor” and noted that the carpets looked freshly vacuumed. Quinns comforter was gone from his bed, and the sheet had a small bloodstain. Police found Quinns car in a parking lot just three minutes from his house. The emails Quinn claimed were from the kidnappers had been sent from his own account, and he was in possession of Huskinss phone. After his girlfriend disappeared, Quinn didnt act as Mustard expected a crime victim would: He took a nap, called in sick to work, and texted Huskinss boss, ultimately waiting more than eight hours to call 911.
At the station, Mustard laid out his own theory. According to Quinn, the detective said he believed something “bad” had happened between the couple. Maybe they were fighting and Quinn pushed Huskins down the stairs, or maybe they were experimenting with drugs or sex and something went wrong. Mustard speculated that Quinn decided to cover up whatever happened with a crazy story. (The Vallejo police referred all questions about the department and individual officers to the City Attorneys Office. Calls requesting comment were not returned.)  
Quinn admitted that the whole thing sounded “like a movie,” but he insisted he was telling the truth. More than ten hours into the interrogation, he agreed to a lie detector test. A polygrapher from the FBI, which had been called in to assist with the investigation, told him afterward, “Theres no question in my mind that you failed this test, and you failed it *miserably.*” Aaron gripped his head in his hands. “I dont know where she is,” he said. Eventually, he asked for a lawyer.
As the police department prepared a press release, Mustard seemed convinced that he knew how the story would end. “Im looking for dead Denise,” he said at one point. According to Quinn, Mustard told him, “There aint going to be but one \[suspect\]. Its going to be *you*.”
4.
**Joyce Zarback,** Matthew Mullers mother, had just finished baking a casserole on a Saturday afternoon in November 2009 when she got a call from her daughter-in-law. Usually unflappable, the young woman was sobbing. Muller was gone, and she didnt know where he was. She was scared something bad had happened.
Zarback was stunned. Muller and his wife had just moved to California, and Muller seemed excited about his new job. After revealing his bipolar diagnosis the previous year, hed assured his parents he was seeing a psychiatrist and taking medication.
Zarback called a friend to say she wouldnt make it to their gourmet cooking club. In her sixties, Zarback was fit, with blue eyes and a crisp blond bob. She tended to power through tough times with a Protestant stoicism. Now she asked her second husband, John, to drive her to Mullers apartment in Menlo Park, where they met Monty, her ex-husband, and Kent, her other son.
Distraught, Mullers wife relayed what she knew: Around 12:30 the previous afternoon, shed come out of the shower to find Muller gone, along with his bike and the SUV hed recently borrowed from his mom. Muller had left a note on a flash drive: “Im going completely off the grid—no phone, email, credit cards, etc., so please do not try to track me as it will only draw attention.” Later, a scheduled email arrived explaining that he was running from people waging “psychological warfare” against him. “I live in terror most of the time and cant keep up appearances any longer,” Muller wrote. “This is perhaps the least extreme thing I can do to resolve it that does not also expose everybody to criminal liability.”
Nothing Zarback had read in *Bipolar Disorder for Dummies* helped her make sense of the situation. Her concern grew when Mullers father revealed that Muller had borrowed a pistol, supposedly to take his wife shooting. Mullers dad and brother drove off to search for Muller in Yosemite National Park, one of his favorite hiking spots. His wife, who had already reported him missing, composed herself enough to call anyone who might know something: Mullers psychiatrist, Deborah Anker, other Harvard colleagues. No one had any idea where he was or why he had fled.
Next, Mullers wife searched his recent purchases for clues. He had ordered more than 80 items over the previous two weeks. Zarback wrote some of them down: a tarp, a solar shower, water carriers, a survival guide, an axe, a utility knife, mosquito nets. A few purchases had less obvious uses in the wild, such as a laser and a motion sensor. Muller also bought *Knife of Dreams,* a fantasy novel in which one character has a mental disorder that involves hearing voices and destines him for “descent into terminal madness.” It dawned on Zarback that Muller must have spent days or even weeks stashing gear in the garage, hiding traces of a disordered mind in the recesses of his ordinary life. “This was a carefully planned-out thing,” she said. “Here is this person whos led this model life whos now just imploding.”
Two days after Muller disappeared, his wife received a message from him. He wanted to know if Zarbacks SUV was equipped with LoJack, technology that uses GPS data to locate stolen cars. Eventually, he revealed that he was staying just outside Zion National Park in Utah, not far from the city of Hurricane. He agreed to let his wife pick him up.
## Not long after the divorce was finalized, according to Mullers ex, her housemate came to her room one night, visibly shaken. She said that shed woken to find a man standing over her, watching her sleep.
**Mullers memory** of what happened after he left home is patchy, but he recalled taking a circuitous route to Utah, making reservations at three hotels, and possibly taping his cell phone to a long-haul truck to throw off the Chinese government, which he was still convinced was after him. After hiding supplies in two caches in case he was attacked, Muller hiked for more than a day before setting up camp near a creek. He walled off the site with a tarp and surrounded it with motion detectors and trip wires that would set off alarms attached to his wrists.
At first, encountering nothing alive but the occasional rabbit, Muller felt relieved that hed shaken his pursuers. But before long the landscape itself seemed to grow ominous. Prickly pears became faces contorting in pain. A mesa menaced him by day and haunted his dreams. He eventually returned to the SUV and contacted his wife on a burner phone.
It was decided that Muller should stay with his mom for a while. When his wife dropped him off, Zarback hardly recognized her son. Hed dyed his hair blond and seemed like an actor whod taken on a new role, that of a scared and sickly child. During their walks on a nearby trail, his eyes darted feverishly, discerning dark omens in the dry grass and danger in the glassy face of Lake Natoma. For the next nine months, Muller sank into a paralyzing depression. He left his job and moved in with his father, only leaving bed for an hour a day to force down food and guess at the combination of the lock on Montys gun safe.
Then Muller began to climb out of the hole. He agreed to see his psychiatrist, resumed medication, and moved back in with his wife. He began volunteering with a legal nonprofit, and in March 2011 he got a job with Reeves and Associates, a firm in San Francisco specializing in immigration. Soon after, Muller registered with the state bar: He was finally able to practice law in California. Steven Malm, an associate who joined the firm around the same time, was impressed by Mullers intelligence and dedication to his clients, but he sensed something was off below the surface. “There was an angst, a certain energy driving him that was stronger than youd normally see,” Malm recalled. “It was almost like he was in a different world.”
In fact, Muller was once again losing his grip on reality. Struggling to focus, he stayed in the office overnight in hopes of catching up on casework. After he was spotted on a security camera, some of the firms partners asked him to stop. According to Muller, he heard his boss, Robert Reeves, say on one occasion, “We dont need people here who have to take pills to stay right in the head,” and on another, “It would be nice if we could just chip our associates.” Muller believed Reeves had read an email Muller sent to his psychiatrist and had learned of his bipolar diagnosis, and that his boss was now spying on and plotting against him. (Reeves died in 2016; the firm did not respond to requests for comment.)
Less than six months after joining Reeves and Associates, Muller copied thousands of files from the companys network onto a flash drive, installed a program that wiped his computer, and sent an email announcing his immediate resignation. Through monitoring software, his employer discovered that hed taken data, and the firm sued him, assuming that he planned to use it to start his own practice. In fact, Muller had a different motive: to find irrefutable evidence that Reeves was tracking him. “I mostly wanted to prove to myself that I wasnt crazy,” he said. Muller found no proof. The firm eventually dropped the suit.
Muller got a job with another immigration firm. A burst of manic energy kept him productive at first, but soon he shifted into what he called a “mission from God” phase. On the side, he formed a nonprofit called Immigrant Ability to advocate for immigrants with mental illness. He became consumed with helping a pro bono client named Blanca Medina, a mother who was about to be deported to El Salvador. In mid-2012, Muller filed a legal motion on Medinas behalf and launched an online petition that gathered 118,000 signatures. As a result, federal officials agreed to halt her deportation at the last minute and reopen her case.
It was a victory, but Muller couldnt enjoy it. He began to suspect that federal immigration authorities were tapping his phone and retaliating against his other clients, and that his new boss was in on the plot. He didnt last much longer in the job. 
In December 2012, Mullers wife filed for divorce, citing irreconcilable differences. They soon signed a settlement in which she agreed to pay Muller $3,400 a month in alimony. In later court filings, she stated that she accepted the terms only because Muller “continuously pressured and intimidated” her. She claimed that Muller had told her hed “hacked into my computer and was using surveillance to keep track of my actions,” and that he “threatened to use his immigration expertise/contacts” to get her and her family deported. She also stated that, during one meeting, Muller grabbed her to keep her from leaving while he checked her car and purse for recording devices. Afterward, her mother and brother reported seeing bruises on her arm.
Mullers ex also claimed that, during divorce proceedings, she learned that Muller had faked documents while they were married in order to add her as a cosigner on a $50,000 car loan, and that he threatened to “destroy me and my family” if she reported the fraud. She also said that, prior to the alimony settlement, Muller had forced her to lend him more than $22,000. When one alimony check was late, Muller wrote to her, “You are going to be responsible for losing your job, losing your license, and the suffering that will bring your family.” Another time, he sent her an email claiming that, in case of his “disappearance/detention/incapacity,” people with fake names would contact her and an automated “system” would “guarantee you could never take me out without paying a high price.”
In an interview, Muller said, “Unless I was in the middle of some sort of a psychotic episode, I have no memory of anything like that.” He also said that his ex-wife knowingly cosigned for the car loan, and that the $22,000 was an advance on spousal support. Muller denied threatening to get her or her family deported, and said that he didnt intentionally hurt his ex-wife.
Not long after the divorce was finalized, according to Mullers ex, her housemate came to her room one night, visibly shaken. She said that shed woken to find a man standing over her, watching her sleep. The intruder had fled the apartment before she could react. “At the time, I had dismissed it as perhaps a nightmare,” Mullers ex wrote in a court filing. Her housemate, though, “was absolutely certain and very scared.”
“I did not think it could have been Matthew,” his ex stated. She later changed her mind.
---
**Zarback did what** she could to help her son. She gave him money to lease an apartment in downtown Sacramento, where Muller seemed content to spend his days decorating his home, watching movies, and walking Paya, the golden retriever puppy he had adopted. But when Zarback came over, she noticed that one bedroom was “like a garbage can,” so cluttered with boxes, newspapers, and furniture that she couldnt see the floor. “Everything else would be neat and clean and beautiful, and this one room—its kind of like his mind,” she said.
Mullers traffic citations, overdue bills, and tax notices showed up in Zarbacks mail. She discovered that hed been pulled over several times for traffic violations and twice arrested for driving with a suspended license. Mullers bar membership was suspended, initially because he didnt pay dues, and later based on disciplinary charges stemming from his mishandling of a case in his last job. He would ultimately be disbarred. In March 2014, his landlord sent him an eviction notice, and the following month Muller filed for bankruptcy; the case was dismissed after he failed to submit documents on time.
Zarback drove her son to court, ensured that he renewed his drivers license, and paid his tickets to keep him out of jail. She made appointments for him with psychiatrists at a veterans hospital but had no way to know whether he was taking his medication. When she or Monty asked questions, Muller assured them he was fine or refused to discuss his illness.
In the summer of 2014, Muller found a job at ThinkTank Learning, an after-school academic program. He also started dating a medical researcher, and they moved into a four-bedroom house with ionic columns on Mare Island, a block over from Kirkland Avenue. In addition to caring for Paya, the couple sometimes dog-sat another golden retriever and a husky. Zarback hoped that her son was rebuilding his life, but when she visited his new home, she noticed that one room was already filling up with boxes.
One day, Mullers new partner called to tell Zarback that she was concerned about Muller taking long walks around Mare Island at night, dressed in black. Soon after, the couple broke up, and Muller took leave from his job. “After that, something clicked off in him,” Zarback recalled. “He just gave in to whatever illness this was.”
In early 2015, Muller asked his mom if he could stay in the cabin she and her husband owned in South Lake Tahoe. She thought spending time outdoors with Paya would help his mental health, so she said yes. Instead, Muller grew more reclusive, making excuses when Zarback offered to visit and seeming eager to hang up during their weekly calls. When she did see him one day that spring, Muller exploded in anger, because he thought his parents were spying on him.
Zarback felt like there was nowhere to turn as she lost her son to his inner demons. She didnt think she could force him into treatment, because to her mind, he wasnt an imminent danger to himself or to others. She once dialed a number the VA had given her to use in a crisis, but the person on the line told her to call 911.
The morning of June 8, 2015, Muller phoned Zarback and asked her to pick him up at a Starbucks in South Lake Tahoe. She asked him why. “Mom,” Muller replied, “can you just come get me?”
After Zarback picked him up, Muller recounted his plans to live like a monk in the middle of the desert. He seemed determined and slightly anxious. Half an hour after they arrived at Zarbacks house, Muller announced that he was borrowing his brothers car and driving back to the cabin. He wouldnt explain why. None of it made sense to Zarback. 
“Cant you stay awhile?” she asked.
“No, Mom,” Muller said. “I need to get back.”
![](https://magazine.atavist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/CrimeBeyond_gogglesgun.jpg)
5.
**Henry K. Lee** was one of the first people to report that Denise Huskins had gone missing from her boyfriends home on March 23. Forty-one years old, with a receding hairline and black plastic-framed glasses, Lee was a crime reporter for the *San Francisco Chronicle.* He had an enthusiasm for his beat that hadnt wavered in more than two decades, since he joined the paper as an intern. It wasnt unusual for him to report while on vacation with his family or to file six stories a day.
The day after Huskins vanished, Lee drove to Mare Island in his aging Crown Victoria. When he arrived at Aaron Quinns house, police cars and news vans crowded Kirkland Avenue, and helicopters hovered overhead. Investigators unfurled yellow crime-scene tape and dusted windows for fingerprints. More than 100 search personnel and several police dogs hunted for traces of Huskins around the peninsula, and divers were set to comb the surrounding waters.
Lee was chatting with a group of reporters when his phone buzzed. He saw an email with the subject line “Denise,” sent from the account of A. J. Quinn—he recognized the name of Huskinss boyfriend, who had reported her missing. Lee stepped away to read the message. Huskins “will be returned safely tomorrow,” it said. “Any advance on us or our associates will create a dangerous situation.”
The message contained a link to an audio clip. Lee heard a womans voice: “My name is Denise Huskins, and Im kidnapped. Otherwise Im fine.” To prove that the clip hadnt been prerecorded, the woman described a plane crash in the Alps that occurred that morning. To confirm her identity, she noted that the first concert she went to featured Blink-182 and Bad Religion.
Lee thought the recording was a joke. “Youre inured to what you see on crime shows—someone calls for help or … is clearly being forced to say the words,” he later said. “In this case, she seemed to just be having a normal conversation.” Lee saw no reason a kidnapper would send a proof-of-life tape to him alone. Maybe someone at the scene was messing with him, or perhaps a reader had sent an unhinged missive. Still, he forwarded the email to Vallejo police, asking them to verify its authenticity—“in the event it is not a prank,” Lee wrote.
The next evening, Lee was scrolling through his phone in bed when he read a police press release stating that Huskins had resurfaced that morning in her hometown of Huntington Beach, more than 400 miles south of Mare Island. After initially being “cooperative,” the release said, Huskins hired a lawyer and stopped communicating with detectives. Then Lee read a line that sounded surreal: “Given the facts that have been presented thus far, this event appears to be an orchestrated event and not a kidnapping.” The police would be giving a press conference that night.
Lee bolted out of bed. Careful not to wake his two young kids, he rushed downstairs and turned the TV on low. His face glowed blue in the dark living room as he watched Vallejo police lieutenant Kenny Park address reporters. “The statement that Mr. Quinn provided was such an incredible story, we initially had a hard time believing it,” Park said. “Upon further investigation, we were not able to substantiate any of the things that he was saying.” Park said that Quinn and Huskins had sent authorities on a “wild goose chase” and “plundered valuable resources.” They “owe this community an apology,” he insisted, and could face criminal charges.
Lee was stunned. A *faked* kidnapping? Hed never heard of anything like it. Vallejo police hadnt replied to him about the proof-of-life recording hed forwarded, but he figured they knew something he didnt. “If the Vallejo cops said this was a hoax,” he recalled thinking, “it must have been a hoax.”
## “What do you say when the police say this was a fabrication?” a reporter asked Rappaport. “A lot of people said the world was flat as well,” he replied.
**What the cops** knew was this: Just before 10 a.m. on March 25, Huskinss father, whod traveled from Southern California to Vallejo after she was reported missing, notified the police that hed received a voicemail from his daughter. She said that she was on her way to his home in Huntington Beach, where her kidnapper had dropped her off.
When local officers arrived, Huskins was in a neighbors apartment. Like Quinn, she described a bizarre home invasion involving lasers, swim goggles, wetsuits, and prerecorded messages. She said her captor took her in the trunk of a car to what seemed like a secluded location several hours from Mare Island. She was held in a room with a queen-size bed and windows blocked with cardboard. At one point he bound her to the headboard with zip ties and a bike lock.
Huskins told police that she was blindfolded and drugged much of the time, but that she believed her kidnapper was a white man with “brownish red” hair. He claimed to be working with three associates—“T, J, and L”—and said that clients hired them to kidnap people for ransom. After 48 hours, Huskins said, the kidnapper for some reason decided to release her. He chose Huntington Beach, her hometown, because authorities werent looking for her there. On the drive south, he let her ride in the front seat; he put blacked-out swim goggles over her eyes, then replaced them with tape over her eyelids and a pair of sunglasses. 
Huskins showed officers a pair of tennis shoes and a water bottle that she said the kidnapper had given her. An officer asked what kind of car the man had been driving. She said it sounded like a Mustang. When the officer asked if shed been sexually assaulted, Huskins said no. All things considered, she added, the kidnapper had treated her well, supplying food and water and letting her shower in private. 
Huskins would later elaborate on her captivity, noting that her kidnapper seemed intelligent and socially awkward, and that he told her hed been in the military and had served in the Middle East. The man said that hed entered Quinns home five times in recent months, even standing outside the bedroom when Huskins was over. She said that he supplied her with toiletries, served her pizza and wine on a formal place setting, and screened a French film. At one point, he showed her a news story that quoted her father, then held her as she cried. “I wish we would have met under different circumstances,” he told her before letting her go. “You are an incredible person.”
When the Huntington Beach police got Mathew Mustard on the phone, Huskinss cousin Nick, who had come to be with her and was an attorney, offered to take the call. The Vallejo detective had been wrong about Huskinss fate—there was no “dead Denise,” as Mustard had told Quinn there would be—but he still wasnt buying the couples account. According to Nick, Mustard said he could offer either Huskins or Quinn immunity if they cooperated with police. He implied that it would be first come, first served. (Mustard has denied making this offer.)
Mustard wasnt alone in doubting the kidnapping story. That afternoon, according to former Vallejo police chief Andrew Bidou, Mustard met with his supervisors and an FBI agent named David Sesma. Several of the men in the room found it suspicious that Huskins had reappeared near her parents homes, wearing sunglasses and carrying luggage. She looked “casual, like somebody just came back from a trip,” not like “somebody that just went through a very traumatic incident,” Bidou, who was in the meeting, later said in a deposition. On her face police observed “darker impression circles … consistent with wearing swim goggles,” but they noted that Huskins “did not appear to have any injuries.” When they searched the alley where Huskins said her kidnapper had dropped her off, police didnt find the tape she said shed removed from her eyes. Officers asked a gardener whod loaned Denise his phone, so she could call her father, whether she was “nervous, excited, or scared.” The man said, “No, she seemed completely normal.”
Some of the officers gathered in Vallejo wondered why Huskins hadnt accepted an offer to return to the city on a flight the FBI had arranged, and why she was now communicating through a lawyer. Whats more, they doubted the supposed evidence of a home invasion. Items from Quinns home that he claimed were left behind after the crime—a portable charger, camera, zip ties, goggles, and red tape—“would have been props to promulgate the story,” Bidou later said.
After less than half an hour, according to Bidou, the conclusion in the room was unanimous: “Everyone believed that it was a purposeful act.” At 9:30 that night, less than 12 hours after Huskins resurfaced, Kenny Park was on TV, accusing her and Quinn of perpetrating a fraud.
At a lunchtime press conference the next day, Quinns attorney, Daniel Russo, insisted that the Vallejo police were the ones peddling “blatant lies.” Lanky and mustached, with a Bronx accent, Russo explained that Quinn had given detectives his fingerprints and DNA, and that hed turned over his clothing and provided the police with access to his electronic devices. Quinn had spent more than 17 hours answering questions and agreed to have his home searched. “I dont know what else he can do,” Russo said. “I guess they can start pulling his teeth.”
At his own press conference, Huskinss new lawyer, Douglas Rappaport, told reporters that his client had spent more than five hours talking to authorities that day and was “absolutely, unequivocally, 100 percent, positively a victim, and this is no hoax.”
“What do you say when the police say this was a fabrication?” one reporter asked.
“A lot of people said the world was flat as well,” Rappaport replied.
---
**On the day** of the press conferences, Henry Lee was nearing the end of his shift in the newsroom when he got another strange email, this time from huskinskidnapping@hotmail.com. “Ms. Huskins was absolutely kidnapped,” the message said. “We did it.”
The author claimed to speak for a group of “professional thieves” based on Mare Island who had been stealing cars prior to kidnapping Huskins, which was a test run for more lucrative crimes. “Until now, this was a bit like a game or movie adventure,” the email read. “We fancied ourselves a sort of Oceans Eleven, gentlemen criminals.” But after spending time with Huskins, the criminals developed “a case of reverse Stockholm syndrome.” Ashamed and “unspeakably sorry,” they were upset that she was being “victimized again” by the police. As proof of authenticity, the author attached a photo of the weapon supposedly used during the crime: a Nerf Super Soaker spray-painted black, with a laser pointer and a flashlight affixed to the barrel with duct tape.
Lee couldnt fathom that genuine criminals would risk getting caught just to defend their victim. When he noticed that the email was peppered with terms like “indicia” and “held in contempt,” he wondered if Huskins and Quinn had asked a lawyer to draft it. Lee replied to the sender with a request for an interview, then passed the email to police.
Two days later, on Saturday, March 28, Lee was hiking in the redwoods with his family when his phone dinged. A longer screed had arrived, this time from the address none@nowhere.com. The author claimed to speak for “three acquaintances” who started stealing cars as a “contrast to the office doldrums,” a mischievous lark “like something out of A Clockwork Orange*,* up to that point without the ultra-violence.” One of the cars was a white Mustang that belonged to a local medical student who had a habit of speeding. “We took it, and maybe saved a neighborhood kid or dog,” the message read.
The thieves allegedly entered homes on Mare Island to steal car keys, personal information, and items they could use to fool investigators, like loose hairs. They were careful to avoid houses with children, seniors, or veterans. The author said the thieves once scared a neighborhood Peeping Tom off a roof, then called the police on him “from a burner phone, pretending to be a resident.” The author also said that the criminals set up electronic perimeters, surveilled homes with drones and game cameras, and wore hairnets and wetsuits to avoid shedding DNA. “I will pause to note how fantastical all of this sounds,” the email read. “Because even I cant help but think that as I write.”
Eventually, the author claimed, the criminals decided to try their hand at kidnapping for ransom. They experimented with a dog-training collar and a “muscle stimulation device” to subdue victims, but settled on a stun gun that could deliver “a brief shock to the male if circumstances called for punishment.” They got into Quinns house by drilling holes around a window to release the lock, then they drugged the couple to “make them more compliant and to make the situation less traumatic.” After the ordeal was over, theyd planned to hand the victims “literature on trauma and recovery.”
The message included a link to photos. One was of gear purportedly used in the kidnapping, including two-way radios, burner phones, gloves, flashlights, license plates, portable speakers, a blood-pressure cuff, and zip ties. Another depicted the bedroom where Huskins supposedly had been held, with cardboard taped over a window and the victims glasses on a dresser.
Lee couldnt understand why Quinn and Huskins would keep sending bizarre emails or go to the trouble of staging photos. Unsettled, he called a Vallejo police lieutenant he knew. Off the record, Lee asked the officer whether he and his family might be in danger. The lieutenant told him not to worry—this must be part of the fraud.
## “They said something along the lines of Oh shit,’ ” Campos recalled, “but in a more professional way.”
**Three months later,** when Misty Carausu read Quinns and Huskinss accounts of what had happened to them, she saw no evidence of deception—she saw parallels to the home invasion in Dublin and to the ones in Silicon Valley in 2009 and 2012. She called the Vallejo police department a handful of times over more than a week before speaking with a detective in late June 2015. “You guys said it was a hoax,” she said, “but it may not be.” Carausu found the detective dismissive. He referred her to the FBI, which had taken over the investigation.
Carausu phoned David Sesma, one of the agents whod been in the room with the Vallejo police departments top brass when they decided the crime had been faked. “We never said that was a hoax,” she recalled Sesma saying defensively. Carausu described the Dublin break-in and the suspect they had in custody. “We have all this information—it might be of some use to you,” she said. (The FBI declined requests for interviews with individual agents and said in a statement, which it issued in coordination with the U.S. Attorneys Office for the Eastern District of California, that it could not respond to questions. “All investigations are conducted in a manner that is respectful to victims right to privacy and court records detail the efforts of the men and women who investigate our cases,” the agency said.)
The Vallejo case was still making headlines. Some outlets had dubbed Huskins the “real-life Gone Girl,” after the antiheroine in Gillian Flynns best-selling thriller who fakes her own disappearance to frame her husband for murder, then reappears. The film version of the novel came out less than six months before Quinn reported the crime, and Huskins resembled the lead actress, Rosamund Pike. In the movie, a cable news host obviously modeled on Nancy Grace, the television commentator and self-styled victims rights advocate, falls for the ruse, suggesting on the air that the husband is a “sociopath” and “wife killer.” In real life, Grace compared Huskins to the *Gone Girl* character on her program and declared, with air quotes, “Everything about this kidnap screams out hoax.”
The media werent the only ones comparing the case to *Gone Girl.* According to Huskinss mother, when she met with Mustard to review the proof-of-life recording sent to Lee, the detective suggested that her family watch the movie to understand the situation. According to Rappaport, Huskinss lawyer, Sesma at the FBI said the same thing to him after Huskins turned up in Huntington Beach.
That was before Carausu called him. Two days after talking to her, Sesma and fellow FBI agent Jason Walter met with Dublin police to review evidence seized from the cabin and the Mustang in South Lake Tahoe. When the agents saw pictures of the blond hair tangled in blacked-out swim goggles and a Super Soaker with a laser and a flashlight taped to it, they looked visibly shocked, according to Miguel Campos, the lead detective in the Dublin case. “They said something along the lines of Oh shit,’ ” Campos recalled, “but in a more professional way.”
---
**The next evening,** Quinn sat across from Sesma and Walter in a conference room at his lawyers office. Sesma, the more seasoned FBI agent, looked polished. Walter, who was two years into the job, was brawny, with visible tattoos—Quinn could easily picture him kicking down doors. The agents had asked Quinn to meet because thered been a break in the case, but he was worried it was a ruse to arrest him. The authorities seemed intent on proving that he and Huskins were liars.
He was skeptical for another reason: Several years prior, Sesma had had a romantic relationship with Quinns ex-fiancée, Andrea Roberts—the woman whom Quinn told police the kidnapper said he was targeting—before she and Quinn started dating. It was another strange circumstance in a case full of them. Rappaport had already sent a letter to the Department of Justice arguing that Sesma had a conflict of interest; in a letter included in court filings, a federal prosecutor would later state that “the appropriate offices have found his conduct unproblematic.” When Sesma nodded hello, Quinn had to stop himself from flashing his middle finger.
The agents said they had images of evidence they wanted to show Quinn. Walter slid a photo of an Asus laptop across the table. “It looks like the computer the kidnappers stole, but I cant say for certain,” Quinn said, according to his account in *Victim F*, a book he and Huskins published in 2021, in which they write alternating chapters. Next, Walter showed him a picture of swim goggles with black tape over the lenses. Quinn said they looked like the ones hed been forced to wear. Finally, Walter revealed a snapshot of a man Quinn didnt recognize. He looked like an average white guy, someone who would blend in to the scenery if Aaron passed him on the street—yet his stare felt unnervingly familiar. “We found a long blond hair wrapped around goggles at his place,” Walter said of the man in the photo. “Aaron, we think this is the guy.”
After months of trauma and humiliation, it was hard for Quinn to believe that the authorities were no longer treating him and Huskins as suspects. During his initial interrogation, detectives had asked Quinn to strip naked and change into striped prison pants—they told him it was all they had on hand. They questioned him in a room with no clock or windows. He had felt trapped “in some sort of movie … forced into a character I never wanted to play,” he later wrote in *Victim F*. After investigators spent hours pressuring Quinn to confess, he curled into the fetal position and cried. At one point, he wondered whether he was suffering from a psychotic break.
Huskins had fared no better. When she met with Rappaport the first time, she told her attorney what shed been too afraid to tell police: The kidnapper had raped her twice and threatened to harm her and her family unless she kept quiet. It wasnt her first experience with sexual violence. Huskins was molested as a child—a fact that, according to her mother, had prompted Mustard to tell Huskinss family that people whod been sexually assaulted at a young age often want to “relive the thrill.” According to Rappaport, when he contacted Vallejo police to request a forensic exam for his client, an officer asked, “Well, how do we know she was raped?” The exam was authorized, but it was conducted 14 hours later. At the hospital, according to Huskins, nurses noticed bruises on her back and elbow. It would be months before the results came back. (Mustard has denied making the comment about sexual-assault survivors, and the Vallejo police have denied second-guessing the request for a rape exam.)
After interviewing Huskins, Sesma told her that it was a crime to lie to a federal agent. Like Quinn, she briefly questioned her own sanity. “Am I schizophrenic?” she recalled wondering. “If all these people are sure about it, is it me whos wrong?”
While they waited to learn if they would face criminal charges, Quinn and Huskins felt like pariahs. In their telling, the hospital where they both worked launched an investigation of Quinn, and a fellowship Huskins believed she was in line for fell through. (The hospital declined to answer questions for this story. “We have great sympathy for what Ms. Huskins and Mr. Quinn endured and wish only the best for them and their family,” it said in a statement.) Strangers left hateful comments online, calling Huskins names. Some of the couples friends and relatives briefly wondered if they were guilty. Even Quinn admitted that he fleetingly considered, while Huskins was missing, whether she might have staged the crime as payback for his attempts to reunite with his ex.
Quinn and Huskins regularly woke at 3 a.m., hearts pounding. Both struggled with PTSD. Huskins, who suffered from panic attacks, became too distraught to return to work and slept with a hammer beside her bed. On days when she came home alone, she checked behind doors and in corners, a knife in her hand.
The couple initially hoped Henry Lee at the *San Francisco Chronicle* would unearth the truth by following clues in the emails hed received, like reporters in movies do. Instead, journalists like Lee “were blinded by their own assumptions,” Huskins wrote in *Victim F.* They seemed to take the polices account at face value rather than dig deeper. “Its easier to believe that theres two crazy people doing stupid stuff than to think the whole police organization and the media have systematic flaws,” Quinn said in an interview. “A lie repeated over and over eventually becomes the truth.” 
Now, suddenly, the FBI agents were more or less telling Quinn that they had solved the crime. His name and Huskinss would finally be cleared. But Walter gave Quinn a caveat: “You cant tell anybody about this.” Even though the man suspected of the crime was in custody for another home invasion, the FBIs arrest affidavit would remain sealed for the time being. For a few more weeks, Quinn and Huskins would have to endure being branded liars.
![](https://magazine.atavist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/CrimeBeyond_couple.jpg)
Denise Huskins and Aaron Quinn
6. 
**The day after** Muller drove off in his brothers car in June 2015, the police showed up at his mothers front door. Muller was in custody, they told Zarback, arrested that morning at the cabin in South Lake Tahoe for a home invasion in Dublin. Zarback could hardly believe what she was hearing. Her sons behavior had been erratic, but nothing prepared her for the idea that he could break into someones home and commit violence.
Zarback rushed to visit Muller at the El Dorado County Jail in South Lake Tahoe. He was in tears, head bowed, repeating, “Im so sorry, Im so sorry.” He didnt go into details about the crime of which he was accused. Nor did he act surprised about his arrest—to Zarback, he seemed almost relieved. She comforted her son through the bars of his cell. “This is really bad,” she said, “but you just have to go on and take it a day at a time.”
A few weeks later, in late June, Zarback, her brother, and her husband returned from hiking near Lake Tahoe one afternoon to find the cabin surrounded by police and FBI agents. David Sesma approached them and explained that the FBI had a warrant to collect evidence. But this wasnt about what had happened in Dublin—Muller was being charged with kidnapping a young woman in Vallejo.
The next day, federal investigators searched Mullers fathers house, where they learned that a wetsuit had gone missing. Agents also combed a storage unit Muller was renting in Vallejo, where they found bedding in a garbage bag, black duct tape, a wireless camera and receiver, and a handful of remote-control drones.
Zarback was horrified by the new revelations. “Nobody had any idea that he was this far gone,” she said of her son. When Zarback visited Muller again in jail, she asked him if hed carried out the kidnapping alone. According to Zarback, he nodded, then reminded her that the jail recorded conversations.
It would be months before they could speak more freely. By then Zarback saw no point in asking more questions. “What am I going to gain from that?” she said.
## “They couldve been heroes in this, but instead they put blinders on,” Quinn later said of investigators. “Theres this saying: If you hear hooves, think horses not zebras. But zebras do exist.”
**On a Monday** afternoon in July 2015, Quinn and Huskins prepared to face the media. So much had been said and written about them, but this was the first time they would appear before the press. A few hours in advance, they finally saw Mullers 59-page arrest affidavit, and digested what appeared to them to be grievous lapses in the investigation of their case.
Quinn already knew that, while he was being interrogated at the Vallejo police station, authorities had missed calls from unknown numbers, along with two emails from the kidnapper, because theyd put his phone in airplane mode. Now he read that three calls had come from a burner phone, which law enforcement later traced to within 300 feet of the cabin in South Lake Tahoe. The phone had been purchased at a Target and activated the day of the crime; the store had provided security footage of the customer, a white man with dark hair. The affidavit also revealed that the polygraph Quinn was told he failed had actually yielded “unknown results.”
Quinn and Huskins were equally troubled by what the document didnt say. It didnt mention the drill holes Quinn had discovered near a window in his living room, the ripped window screen he found in the garage, or the set of keys hed told police were missing. There was no indication that Vallejo police had asked other jurisdictions in the area for information about similar crimes, or that law enforcement had looked for surveillance footage or eyewitnesses who might corroborate Huskinss account of the drive to Huntington Beach. There was no mention of testing results for key pieces of evidence in the investigation, including a stain found on the floor of Quinns home and material gathered during Huskinss rape exam. The stain would later test positive for substances that cause drowsiness; the rape exam would show the presence of DNA from at least one male, based on a sample too incomplete for further testing.
The couple also learned that Lee wasnt the only person who had received strange emails related to the crime. According to the affidavit, Kenny Park of the Vallejo police received messages stating that the cops had “more than enough corroborative information” to “know by now that the victims were not lying.” Like the emails to Lee, these messages were purportedly from the kidnappers and were sent using anonymous email services based overseas.
Quinn and Huskins wondered if authorities would ever have solved the case if Misty Carausu hadnt told Vallejo police and FBI about Muller. “They couldve been heroes in this, but instead they put blinders on,” Quinn later said of investigators. “Theres this saying: If you hear hooves, think horses not zebras. But zebras do exist.”
The couple tried to remain stoic as they stood with their lawyers before a scrum of reporters. Quinn, in a blue button-down shirt, had a furrowed brow and haggard eyes. Huskins, in a beige sleeveless blouse, clenched Quinns arm as her lips quivered. The couple were “not just not guilty, but innocent,” Rappaport declared. “Today, the Vallejo Police Department owes an apology to Ms. Huskins and Mr. Quinn.” Russo, Quinns lawyer, added, “The idea that in a short period of time they decided it was a hoax, that only works in Batman movies.”
For the next several days, Vallejo police refused to retract their claim that the kidnapping was staged. “We dont know what the final outcome of this case is going to be,” Captain John Whitney told the *Vallejo Times-Herald*. “Its important that we dont jump to conclusions.” A week after the press conference, Bidou, the police chief, sent letters to Quinn and Huskins apologizing for “comments” the department had made during the investigation. “While these comments were based on our findings at the time, they proved to be unnecessarily harsh and offensive,” he wrote. The kidnapping, he admitted, “was not a hoax or orchestrated event.”
He promised to apologize publicly when Muller was indicted a few months later. The Vallejo police department would not issue a public apology to the couple for six years.
---
**In September 2015,** more than three months after he was arrested, Muller pled no contest to felony charges of burglary, attempted robbery, and assault with a deadly weapon in the Dublin break-in. A few days later, he was moved to the Sacramento County Main Jail to await a federal trial in the Vallejo case. Mullers attorney, Tom Johnson, initially told Zarback that he would mount an insanity defense but ultimately recommended that he plead guilty. Muller agreed, and he sent his parents a letter asking them to support his decision. “I have some serious health limitations, and it seemed like I was just unable to accept them and kept pushing myself to dangerous places,” he wrote. “Im much safer now.… There are still things I can do to help people.” (Johnson declined requests for an interview.)
After spending time on suicide watch and at a psychiatric hospital, Muller at first seemed to improve behind bars. On medication and without pressure to live a “normal adult life,” he was “deeply remorseful” yet “more free of suffering right now than I have been for a long time,” he wrote to his parents. “The worst day of jail is better than the best day of feeling like youre being watched or followed by people with sinister intentions.” He asked Zarback to send him GED books so he could tutor a fellow prisoner, and to add money to other prisoners commissary accounts.
But as was so often the case in Mullers life, the mental upswing was short-lived. According to Muller, by the time he pled guilty in September 2016 to federal charges in the Vallejo case, hed become so depressed that he developed bedsores from spending too much time on his bunk. When a small earthquake hit the area, he wished the walls would crush him. “I did not care about my future. I just wanted to do what was best for everybody because I had plans to kill myself eventually anyway,” he later wrote in a court filing.
Prior to Mullers sentencing in March 2017, prosecutors argued in a memo that he should receive 40 years in prison, the maximum term under the plea deal. “There is no expert evidence to support the conclusion that any mental condition makes Muller any less morally culpable for his crime,” the memo stated, or “to support the conclusion that any kind of mental health treatment could ever make Muller any less dangerous.”
Anker and 16 of Mullers Harvard colleagues submitted a letter of support, writing that he was “a man of integrity, decency and compassion” who “showed a unique kindness and generosity of spirit.” Mullers parents also wrote to the judge, highlighting their sons accomplishments and their struggle to reconcile his Jekyll and Hyde personas. They attributed his actions to a disease “like a metastasized cancer” that “eventually took control of him.”
Still, “Matts mental health issues do not excuse or absolve him from his actions,” his parents wrote. “We will accept whatever sentence you believe is appropriate.”
## She looked Muller in the eye as she declared: “*I* am Denise Huskins, the woman behind the blindfold.”
**The day of** Mullers sentencing, Quinn walked to a podium in the center of a courtroom in downtown Sacramento. Reporters packed the jury box to his right. To his left, Muller sat at the defense table in an orange jumpsuit and black-rimmed glasses, with his hands and feet shackled and his hair in a bowl cut. It was the first time Quinn and Huskins had looked him in the face.
Quinn had spent the morning sweating and feeling his stomach turn, but an intense focus came over him as he read the victim statement hed revised more than 20 times. “You like to feel that you are in power, and the rules do not apply to you,” Quinn said to Muller. “Thats what makes you so dangerous. You are smart enough to manipulate situations to get away with crimes but not humble enough to seek help.”
Then it was Huskinss turn. She looked Muller in the eye as she declared: “*I* am Denise Huskins, the woman behind the blindfold.” She called Muller “calculated, strategic,” and said that he “kept his true intentions and motivations to himself, knowing how awful they are.” Shed heard his “countless excuses,” including his mental health issues, but her experience made her certain that he had “willingly, thoughtfully participated in this hell we have survived.”
Muller listened impassively. After the couple spoke, he made a brief statement from his seat. “Im sick with shame that my actions have brought such devastation,” he said. “I hope my imprisonment can bring closure to Aaron and Denise, and Im prepared for any sentence the court imposes.”
The judge called the crime “heinous, atrocious, horrible” as he issued his sentence: 40 years. Ten of those years would be a concurrent sentence for the Dublin crime. But Quinn and Huskins werent done demanding justice. They wanted Muller prosecuted for all his crimes against them, including rape. And they wanted to hold the Vallejo police to account.
But for the time being, they decided to focus on happier matters. Two days after the couple gave their statements in court, at a barbecue with family and friends, Quinn proposed to Huskins. She said yes. 
---
**Muller got married** the day after his sentencing. He and Huei Dai briefly dated in 2012, after she found his card in an ATM, and they had remained friends ever since. An energetic woman with a wide smile and shoulder-length black hair, Dai had worked as an office and human resources manager and earned a green card after emigrating from Taiwan. After hearing about Mullers arrest on the news, she visited him every week.
Their wedding took place in a dreary room at the Sacramento County Main Jail. Zarback didnt approve of the union, lamenting that Dai was signing up for a difficult life, but she attended, along with a few family members; none of Dais friends or relatives came. Guards brought Muller out in a jail uniform and shackles and put him inside an iron cage. Dai, in a pretty dress, stood several feet away—she wasnt allowed to touch her groom. After reciting brief vows before a judge, Muller was whisked away. The whole ceremony lasted five minutes.
Dai sympathized with Mullers mental health struggles, and she believed hed been unfairly portrayed in the courts and in press coverage. She became his unofficial paralegal, eventually quitting her job to type emails and file legal paperwork for Muller and for other people in jail he was advising on their own cases.
Dai also helped create a website, Gonegirlcase.com, that told Mullers side of the story—namely, how severe his illness was when he committed the Vallejo crime. The site, which is now defunct, attributed his “current legal predicament” to “extended psychosis.” But Mullers perception of what had happened would soon change.
7.
**Henry Lee logged** into a video call and waited for Muller to appear. It was just after 10 p.m. on a Thursday in September 2018, and Lee was staring into a laptop on his cluttered desk at KTVU Fox 2, where he was now an on-air crime reporter. Muller had just been transferred from a high-security federal prison in Tucson, Arizona, to a jail in Californias Solano County, where he was facing new charges for the Vallejo crime, this time from the state: kidnapping and two counts of rape, as well as robbery, burglary, and false imprisonment. He had pled not guilty. For the moment, he was representing himself. 
Lee was surprised that Muller had agreed to an interview, and wasnt sure he would show up. If he did, interviewing him would feel surreal. Reflecting later on how he and other journalists had covered the Vallejo story, Lee said that prior to “the national reckoning over police misconduct,” whenever law enforcement said “something they believe to be true, more or less we treated it … as gospel.” Reporters on the crime beat, he added, often have no choice but to rely on official accounts, at least at first. “The majority of the mainstream media still will say, Police said this, police said that, whether or not we know that to be true,” Lee said.
Finally, Muller appeared in a box on Lees screen, wearing a gray-and-white-striped jail uniform and gripping a phone receiver. He looked pale, with graying hair and sunken eyes, and greeted Lee with a nod and a flat smile. As Lee began to question him, Muller was cagey. Lee asked why Muller had emailed him to speak up for Huskins. Muller said, “I cant reply to that without confirming that Im the person who sent those emails.” (In his own court filings, Muller had once included what he said was an evidence photo of a burner phone Dublin police had seized from his cabin, displaying an email account belonging to huskinskidnapping@hotmail.com, one of the addresses from which Lee had received a message.)
Lee asked Muller about a motion hed filed a few months earlier challenging his federal conviction. In the document, which Muller drafted on a prison typewriter and ultimately withdrew, he argued that his guilty plea hadnt been “knowing, intelligent and voluntary,” and that his attorney had provided ineffective counsel. He assured the court that he now had “more accurate insight into his current and past mental states.”
“Are you not guilty, in fact … of the federal kidnapping case?” Lee asked. Muller equivocated: “As a legal matter, yes sir, I think a plea of not guilty in that case would be accurate.” He added that “blameworthiness and dangerousness … are two different things,” and claimed, “I would be the first person who wants me incapacitated to make sure that I could not hurt anybody again if it seems like Im not going to be able to get ahold of those mental health issues.”
If there was a revelation in the evasive interview, it was that Muller alleged he had been abused in prison. “I just suffered a rape, a beating, and a near suicide,” he told Lee.
A few months earlier, Muller had told his mother that guards placed him in a cell with a violent, schizophrenic man who sexually assaulted him, then with another prisoner who beat him severely. Muller believed this was punishment for his helping a prisoner he believed was innocent. (The Federal Bureau of Prisons declined to comment.) Muller experienced symptoms of PTSD and became suicidal. Zarback later grew so concerned about her sons mental health that she drafted a letter to Huskins and Quinn, asking them to instruct the district attorney to drop the state case. She knew shed never send it.
---
**On a rainy morning** in February 2019, officers escorted Muller into a Solano County courtroom. Once again representing himself, he wore a baggy gray suit hed borrowed from his father and shackles around his ankles. For over an hour, Aaron Quinn detailed how he was tied up, drugged, and extorted. He seemed close to tears when he said, “I took a moment before I called 911, because I was afraid that I was killing Denise.” Quinn confirmed that Mullers voice was the one hed heard that night. Muller gazed ahead, occasionally taking notes. When the time came, he declined to cross-examine the witness.
After a recess, Huskins took the stand and described being raped twice while a camera recorded it. She said Muller had insisted that the sex look consensual—supposedly for blackmail, which he claimed his associates had demanded. The prosecutor asked Huskins if she recognized Mullers voice. “Yes. It was the voice that I woke up to, it was the voice I heard in that 48 hours, its the voice that raped me,” she said. The judge asked Muller if he wanted to cross-examine Huskins. “Certainly not, your honor,” he replied.
At the end of the hearing, the judge allowed all charges to proceed.
Mullers parents had left the courtroom before Huskinss testimony, but Dai watched from the front row. Afterward, she stopped for a few words in front of the news crews huddled outside the courthouse. “No matter what other people say, I know who he is,” Dai said.
Jason Walter of the FBI was also at the hearing. According to Quinn, while Huskins was on the stand, Walter told him outside the courtroom that he never believed the crime was a hoax. Afterward, when Huskins joined them, he said, “You guys are in my mind all day, every day. Im so sorry.”
## Muller admitted that the conspiracy he believed he was exposing was intricate and well concealed. “The fraud is of such subtlety and sophistication that it deceived even the Movant,” he wrote, referring to himself.
**For a time,** in a series of motions and court appearances, Muller made a number of cogent-sounding arguments. But in mid-2019, his claims took on a bizarre tone. After receiving discovery in the states case, Muller advanced a new theory of elaborate subterfuge.
Four days before arresting him, he argued, Dublin officers snuck into his cabin without a warrant and used his email account to send “what appears to be a to-do list … in preparation to destroy evidence and flee arrest.” During their official search on June 9, 2015, he said, the police planted his clothing, mail, and drivers license in the stolen Mustang for them to be “discovered.” As part of their plot against him, Muller insisted, law enforcement agencies had altered police reports and 911 logs, tampered with forensic records, and forged judicial signatures on search warrants.
In particular, Muller zeroed in on the role of Misty Carausu. In March 2019, as the states case proceeded, he questioned her on the stand. Later, in court filings, he accused her of illegally accessing his devices and perjuring herself by denying it under oath. He also claimed that she had tampered with evidence. In an interview, Carausu denied Mullers claims. Campos, the lead detective in the Dublin case, called the allegations “ridiculous.”
Muller soon turned his attention to what seemed to be a weakness in his theory: How could Dublin police, who didnt yet know details of the Vallejo kidnapping when they searched the cabin and Mustang, install evidence linking him to that case? In a 2020 court appearance, Muller laid out an updated thesis: The FBI had used Photoshop to make “Hollywood-grade edits” to evidence photos, inserting objects in the frame after the fact. In a filing, Muller included screenshots of supposedly doctored images, pointing out what he claimed were differences in embossing and reflection. The FBI had also staged evidence photos, he argued, including the blond hair stuck to the duct-taped swim goggles, and pretended they were taken by Dublin officers in their initial search.
The reason for the fraud, Muller claimed, was to secure a quick conviction and paper over embarrassing facts about the case. He believed authorities didnt thoroughly investigate a man who Quinn told police Andrea Roberts had had a relationship with while they were engaged. The man, Stephen Ruiz, was a former police officer. He had been fired from his job shortly before the kidnapping, after a criminal investigation that reportedly pertained to allegations he looked up women from dating websites in law enforcement databases. (The agency that conducted the investigation found “no evidence” that he misused internal databases. Ruiz called the investigation “unfounded.”) The real story of the Vallejo case, Muller argued, was that of “an ex-cop staging a crime to scare his girlfriend away from the ex-fiancé she was reuniting with” through a scheme “that put his girlfriend in no danger, but ensured she would hear about it from her coworker who was mistaken for her—also making it impossible to overlook that her ex-fiancé was sleeping with the coworker.” In other words, Muller suggested, Ruiz learned that Roberts and Quinn were back in touch over text in 2015, orchestrated Huskinss kidnapping, and led Quinn and Huskins to believe that the real target was Roberts, all in an attempt to win Roberts back.
Muller admitted that the conspiracy he claimed he was exposing was intricate and well concealed. “The fraud is of such subtlety and sophistication that it deceived even the Movant,” he wrote, referring to himself. “The governments case included evidence and allegations the Movant did not understand and could not remember. The Movant had believed this was a matter of mental illness…. However, it was federal authorities and not the Movants mind that had altered reality.”
According to a letter included in court filings, a federal prosecutor said Ruiz was a “subject” early in the Vallejo investigation, and authorities obtained his bank records. Ruiz denied any involvement in the kidnapping. He and Roberts are now married.
---
**Zarback didnt know** what to believe. Mullers claims sounded far-fetched, but shed seen firsthand how authorities had erred in the kidnapping investigation and, in her view, had targeted her son in prison. “Im sure theres some truth to it, but also maybe some paranoia to it too,” she said.
She wasnt the only person doubting whether law enforcement was telling the whole story. Quinn and Huskins still believed Muller had at least two accomplices in the kidnapping. The couple had observed red lasers coming from multiple angles in Quinns bedroom when they woke up, and Huskins recalled seeing two people, from the waist down, as she walked to the closet. Alone on the bed, Quinn heard Muller whisper, “Get the cat out of the room,” and felt someone pick up his pet, Mr. Rogers, who had been sniffing his arm. While Muller was physically near both victims, they heard the sounds and felt the vibrations of kitchen cabinets opening and closing and an electric drill humming downstairs. At one point, Quinn heard two sets of footsteps on his bathroom tile and Muller whisper, “Are we doing contingency one or contingency two?” As Muller carried Huskins downstairs, she heard him whisper “no” and then heard someone climb up past them. Before he shut her in the trunk of Quinns car, she heard “noises that one person couldnt make,” like doors opening while a car was being moved.
The couple also werent convinced that Muller wrote the emails to Henry Lee—or, at least, that he was the sole author. They noted small errors in descriptions of the crime. They pointed to a paragraph supposedly written by “the team member handling the subjects,” which had a single space after periods, while the rest of the text used two. In an interview, Huskins also said that, given the “obvious arrogance” of the messages, she found it odd that Muller hadnt taken credit for pulling off the crime by himself: “Why not at that point, if it is just him, be like, these are all the different ways that I made it seem like theres more people … and look how crafty and awesome I am?”
In a court filing, federal prosecutors insisted that Muller had “used elaborate artifice to convince his victims that he was just one member of a professional crew.” In addition to the blow-up doll and portable speaker found in the Mustang, authorities had discovered audio recordings on Mullers computer, including one of several people whispering. Moreover, in a jailhouse interview in July 2015, which the FBI later obtained and was mentioned in Mullers plea agreement, Muller told a local news reporter that he was the only person involved and there was “no gang.”
But to Quinn and Huskins, authorities werent paying sufficient attention to their eyewitness accounts. They had listened to some of the recordings in evidence and felt that they didnt explain all theyd perceived. “It feels like every step of the way they are trying to gaslight us into changing our recollection of events to fit the narrative theyve created,” Huskins wrote in *Victim F*. Perhaps Muller wouldnt give up his accomplices because he didnt want to be known as a snitch in prison or because he feared his partners, Quinn suggested in an interview. Maybe he chose “to fall on the sword,” Huskins told me.
The couple lived in constant fear that a sophisticated group of criminals might come after them or target other victims. “I wish it was just him,” Huskins said in March 2022, but “we trust our memory more than we trust the police work.”
8.
**Quinn and Huskins** publicly praised Carausu, who became a personal friend and is now a sergeant in the Alameda County Sheriffs Office, for doing “the exact opposite of what Vallejo did.” In 2016, the couple sued the city, as well as Mathew Mustard and Kenny Park, for defamation and other claims. They settled the suit in 2018, with the defendants admitting no wrongdoing and agreeing to pay $2.5 million. In June 2021, upon publication of *Victim F*, the city and the Vallejo police department issued a statement to the press calling what happened to the couple during the kidnapping “horrific and evil” and finally extending an apology “for how they were treated during this ordeal.” Later that year, Quinn wrote an op-ed calling for the department to be disbanded over its culture of “opacity and impunity.”
After the botched 2015 investigation, Mustard was voted his departments officer of the year and promoted to sergeant in charge of the investigations division. He stepped down as president of Vallejos police union in 2019, after nearly a decade in the role. In subsequent years, disturbing reports about Mustard appeared in the press: that he had withheld exculpatory evidence in a criminal trial, tried to pressure a forensic pathologist to rule a death a homicide, and cleared officers involved in shootings of any wrongdoing while heading the police union. (The union did not respond to requests for comment.)
In a legal complaint filed in December 2020, former Vallejo police captain John Whitney, who claimed hed been wrongfully terminated for reporting misconduct, alleged that Bidou, the police chief at the time, changed the departments promotion exam in 2017 to benefit Mustard. Whitney also alleged that, prior to the press conference where Kenny Park called Quinn and Huskinss story false, Bidou told Park to “burn that bitch.” Whitney claimed that, after the couple sued, Bidou took Whitneys phone and “set it to delete messages,” then directed him to order Park to lie under oath, all in order to conceal the comment. Whitney said he refused. In a deposition, Bidou said he “never heard anybody say” the words in question and denied destroying documents relevant to the case. Bidou retired in 2019. Park worked for the department until the following year. (Neither of them could be reached for comment.)
In 2020, the states case against Muller stalled as his mental health deteriorated. Muller believed that his parents and Dai had been replaced by imposters and told the judge that a “complicated device” was planted in his body. He claimed to be surrounded “by a bunch of actors, by a bunch of agents, I dont know, even sort of demon-possessed people,” and called the judge Lucifer. But even in the midst of such outbursts, Muller once raised a relevant legal point that had escaped both attorneys and the judge. “I was quite astounded that he was at least lucid enough to bring that to everyones attention,” Sharon Henry, the prosecutor, said in court, suggesting that Muller was “legally competent.” Tommy Barrett, the public defender the court had appointed to represent Muller, criticized Henry for expecting mental illness to present as “drooling, shouting, maybe smearing feces on oneself.… Its not always a movie-type portrayal.” 
That November, the judge ruled that Muller was incompetent to stand trial. The following June, he was moved to a state psychiatric hospital, where he received a new diagnosis: schizophrenia. Citing “a downward spiral of increased mental harm,” in September 2021 the judge signed an order allowing Muller to be treated with antipsychotic medication against his will. “As the Buddhists would say, I have seen the light inside you,” the judge told him. “And I think there is a way for you to get back there.”
In March 2022, Muller appeared before the same judge on Zoom. Seated under a ceiling patched up with cardboard, he wore the khaki uniform of Napa State Hospital. Barrett confirmed that his client had agreed to plead no contest to all state charges, except for kidnapping. The judge, who had deemed Muller legally competent a few weeks earlier, asked him, “Do you feel today as were sitting here that your head is in a good place to understand what were doing?” In a subdued tone, Muller replied, “Yes, your honor, Im well enough to proceed.”
The judge sentenced him to 31 years in state prison, to be served concurrently with his existing terms. The next day, Huskins posted on social media, “This is not the end result we had originally sought.” She and Quinn—now married, with a young daughter—still wanted Muller locked up for life. But Huskins also said she and her husband hoped “all involved can find some level of peace moving forward.” Later, Huskins wrote to me, “It is tempting to want to have final explanations and answers that are all tightly wound in a bow … but as in most real-life cases, there are going to be a lot of questions we will never get answers to.”
## “I made a lot of mistakes,” Zarback said. Then again, she continued, “what is that piece of the chain that might have made a difference? Im not sure I can name one. Ive come to think we dont have the power.”
**Among the unanswered** questions that continue to haunt people affected by the events in this story is whether Muller was behind the home invasions and attempted assaults in Silicon Valley in 2009 and 2012. “If you want to ask me do I think it was Matthew? Probably,” his mother said. Mullers ex-wife said in divorce filings that he once confessed “he had indeed broken into a womans apartment in 2009 and that he would do the same to me and people who were close to me.” For this reason, and because of Mullers crimes in Vallejo and Dublin, she came to believe that her ex-husband was the person who, after their divorce, had terrified her housemate one night. “I was lucky to escape the fate of Matthews prior and subsequent female victims who were assaulted and raped,” she stated in a court document.
In a legal filing, Muller denied committing the crimes in Silicon Valley. In an interview, he denied breaking into his ex-wifes home and said he didnt recall making a confession to her. He chalked up the fact that one of the victims attended an event he organized at Harvard to “mere coincidence” and said of the police, “Once they fix on you, thats it. They see everything consistent with that and nothing inconsistent.” As of this writing, the cases remain open.
Authorities never determined how Muller chose his victims. Huskins speculated that “from afar he saw me as a pretty blond girl” and Quinn as “some jock.” She wondered if she “reminded him of someone who was hurtful to him.” Or perhaps Muller really did intend to abduct Andrea Roberts, Quinns ex-fiancée. The emails to Henry Lee mentioned that the perpetrators had a “link” to Roberts, and while Huskins was being held captive, Muller asked whether she knew why someone would hire criminals to kidnap Quinns ex. When Huskins mentioned that Roberts had had an affair, according to her account in *Victim F*, Muller said, “That sounds right. That must be it.”
Different questions linger for Zarback: What if she hadnt helped her son get his own apartment? Hadnt paid his traffic tickets to keep him out of jail? Hadnt let him stay at the cabin? “I made a lot of mistakes,” she said. Then again, she continued, “what is that piece of the chain that might have made a difference? Im not sure I can name one. Ive come to think we dont have the power.”
---
**When I called** Muller recently at Napa State Hospital, he confessed that in the midst of our interviews a few years earlier, hed come to believe I was a CIA agent. He decided to keep talking to “humor” me. When I asked if he still believed that I worked for the CIA, he said it was “highly unlikely but not impossible.”
Muller was ready to provide answers about his crimes, but only some. He said that, in 2015, he was fixated on the “one percent,” which to him werent the worlds wealthiest people, but those “responsible for most of the bad in the world. It was a scienced-up version of demons.” He harbored a “strong feeling” that Quinn, who lived a block away from him on Mare Island, was a member of this sinister cabal. “Obviously hes not,” Muller added. “It was a product of mental illness.”
Mullers explanation echoed what he told Sidney Nelson, a forensic psychologist, during an evaluation his parents paid for in 2017. Nelson, who diagnosed Muller with bipolar I disorder “with psychotic features,” noted in his report that in the weeks leading up to the kidnapping, Muller experienced a manic episode, possibly triggered by his antidepressant. Not sleeping much, Muller obsessively watched Batman movies and became entranced by the Dark Knight, who uses his intellect and high-tech gizmos to impose nocturnal vigilante justice. “He began to think of himself as a Batman type of person who was fighting evil, which to Mr. Muller was the 1%ers,” Nelson wrote. Wearing a wetsuit to resemble the character, Muller said he had plotted a kidnapping for ransom to procure money from those he perceived as “evil wealthy people” in order to give it to the poor, an act he believed was “morally justified.”
Nelson found Muller “extremely remorseful.” His report, which Mullers attorney at the time did not submit to the court, concluded: “In my opinion, it is extremely unlikely that Mr. Muller would have engaged in such criminal actions if not for the profound impact that his mental illness had on his thinking and behavior.”
Muller told me that he had a different objective in the Dublin crime: to vindicate Huskins. He said that he planned to blindfold, gag, and tie up his captives, then send photographs of them to Nancy Grace, the TV personality who had publicly doubted Huskinss account of her kidnapping. “Its your fault that this is happening,” Muller intended to write. “Until you retract what youre saying about her being the Gone Girl, I might do this again.” (He told me this would have been an empty threat.)
Muller said that he targeted the Yens street because, like Kirkland Avenue on Mare Island, it bordered on open space that would make it easy to escape if need be. He settled on the Yens specifically because, still in the midst of a delusion, he decided they were also part of the one percent, so he “wouldnt feel bad.” Muller said his scheme veered off course when he realized that the Yens daughter was home. He placed his cell phone outside her bedroom to play the sound of static, so the noise he made tying up her parents wouldnt wake her, but he forgot to retrieve it when he fled. That unexpected circumstance ended up being fortuitous, Muller said: “Its good that I got caught.”
Some mysteries Muller wouldnt clear up: whether he committed the earlier crimes in Silicon Valley, whether he was the Peeping Tom on Mare Island, whether he wrote the emails to Henry Lee. When I asked whether he had accomplices, Muller said, “I never claimed I had worked with anybody,” but he declined to elaborate, beyond saying this: “Folks who are psychotic I think tend to fit the lone-wolf scenario and would probably have trouble cooperating with others in that sort of state.”
Emerging from his longest psychotic episode yet, Muller told me that he was struggling “to fold reality back” into his worldview. I reminded him of a metaphor hed used in a previous interview, as he was grappling with paranoia: Hed said it was like hed started to believe in ghosts after seeing one in a graveyard, only to discover that someone had tricked him as a practical joke. Now, he told me, “I still cant rule out whether there were real ghosts or not.”  
Muller had come to think that delusion and sanity werent distinct planes of existence. “When you snap out of it, its not like you look back and know, Heres whats true and heres whats not,’ ” he told me. “You basically dont know.”
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# A Dad Took Photos of His Naked Toddler for the Doctor. Google Flagged Him as a Criminal.
![Mark with his son this month.](https://static01.nyt.com/images/2022/08/17/business/00Google-Photo-lede/merlin_211189338_dc79ba5b-75ab-45a5-9531-27efa7093714-articleLarge.jpg?quality=75&auto=webp&disable=upscale)
Credit...Aaron Wojack for The New York Times
Google has an automated tool to detect abusive images of children. But the system can get it wrong, and the consequences are serious.
Mark with his son this month.Credit...Aaron Wojack for The New York Times
- Aug. 21, 2022
Mark noticed something amiss with his toddler. His sons penis looked swollen and was hurting him. Mark, a stay-at-home dad in San Francisco, grabbed his Android smartphone and took photos to document the problem so he could track its progression.
It was a Friday night in February 2021. His wife called an advice nurse at their health care provider to schedule an emergency consultation for the next morning, by video because it was a Saturday and there was a pandemic going on. The nurse said to send photos so the doctor could review them in advance.
Marks wife grabbed her husbands phone and texted a few high-quality close-ups of their sons groin area to her iPhone so she could upload them to the health care providers messaging system. In one, Marks hand was visible, helping to better display the swelling. Mark and his wife gave no thought to the tech giants that made this quick capture and exchange of digital data possible, or what those giants might think of the images.
With help from the photos, the doctor diagnosed the issue and prescribed antibiotics, which quickly cleared it up. But the episode left Mark with a much larger problem, one that would cost him more than a decade of contacts, emails and photos, and make him the target of a police investigation. Mark, who asked to be identified only by his first name for fear of potential reputational harm, had been caught in an algorithmic net designed to snare people exchanging child sexual abuse material.
Because technology companies routinely capture so much data, they have been pressured to act as sentinels, examining what passes through their servers to detect and prevent criminal behavior. Child advocates say the companies cooperation is essential to combat the rampant online spread of [sexual abuse imagery](https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2019/09/28/us/child-sex-abuse.html). But it can entail peering into private archives, such as digital photo albums — an intrusion users may not expect — that has cast innocent behavior in a sinister light in at least two cases The Times has unearthed.
Jon Callas, a technologist at the Electronic Frontier Foundation, a digital civil liberties organization, called the cases canaries **“**in this particular coal mine.”
“There could be tens, hundreds, thousands more of these,” he said.
Given the toxic nature of the accusations, Mr. Callas speculated that most people wrongfully flagged would not publicize what had happened.
“I knew that these companies were watching and that privacy is not what we would hope it to be,” Mark said. “But I havent done anything wrong.”
The police agreed. Google did not.
## A Severe Violation
After setting up a Gmail account in the mid-aughts, Mark, who is in his 40s, came to rely heavily on Google. He synced appointments with his wife on Google Calendar. His Android smartphone camera backed up his photos and videos to the Google cloud. He even had a phone plan with Google Fi.
Two days after taking the photos of his son, Marks phone made a blooping notification noise: His account had been disabled because of “harmful content” that was “a severe violation of Googles policies and might be illegal.” A “learn more” link led to a [list of possible reasons](https://support.google.com/accounts/answer/40695?hl=en), including “child sexual abuse & exploitation.”
Mark was confused at first but then remembered his sons infection. “Oh, God, Google probably thinks that was child porn,” he thought.
In an unusual twist, Mark had worked as a software engineer on a large technology companys automated tool for taking down video content flagged by users as problematic. He knew such systems often have a human in the loop to ensure that computers dont make a mistake, and he assumed his case would be cleared up as soon as it reached that person.
Image
![Mark, a software engineer who is currently a stay-at-home dad, assumed he would get his account back once he explained what happened. He didnt.](https://static01.nyt.com/images/2022/08/19/business/00Google-Photo-02/00Google-Photo-02-articleLarge.jpg?quality=75&auto=webp&disable=upscale)
Credit...Aaron Wojack for The New York Times
He filled out a form requesting a review of Googles decision, explaining his sons infection. At the same time, he discovered the domino effect of Googles rejection. Not only did he lose emails, contact information for friends and former colleagues, and documentation of his sons first years of life, his Google Fi account shut down, meaning he had to get a new phone number with another carrier. Without access to his old phone number and email address, he couldnt get the security codes he needed to sign in to other internet accounts, locking him out of much of his digital life.
“The more eggs you have in one basket, the more likely the basket is to break,” he said.
In a statement, Google said, “Child sexual abuse material is abhorrent and were committed to preventing the spread of it on our platforms.”
A few days after Mark filed the appeal, Google responded that it would not reinstate the account, with no further explanation.
Mark didnt know it, but Googles review team had also flagged a video he made and the San Francisco Police Department had already started to investigate him.
## How Google Flags Images
The day after Marks troubles started, the same scenario was playing out in Texas. A toddler in Houston had an infection in his “intimal parts,” wrote his father in [an online post](https://googlemessingupmylife.quora.com/Google-incorrectly-judged-my-case-On-February-22nd-2021-Google-disabled-my-account-saying-I-had-seriously-violated-th) that I stumbled upon while reporting out Marks story. At the pediatricians request, Cassio, who also asked to be identified only by his first name, used an Android to take photos, which were backed up automatically to Google Photos. He then sent them to his wife via Googles chat service.
Cassio was in the middle of buying a house, and signing countless digital documents, when his Gmail account was disabled. He asked his mortgage broker to switch his email address, which made the broker suspicious until Cassios real estate agent vouched for him.
“It was a headache,” Cassio said.
Images of children being exploited or sexually abused are [flagged by technology giants](https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2019/09/28/us/child-sex-abuse.html) millions of times each year. In 2021, [Google alone](https://transparencyreport.google.com/child-sexual-abuse-material/reporting?lu=total_cybertipline_reports&total_cybertipline_reports=product:GOOGLE;period:2021H1) filed over 600,000 reports of child abuse material and disabled the accounts of over 270,000 users as a result. Marks and Cassios experiences were drops in a big bucket.
The tech industrys first tool to seriously disrupt the vast online exchange of so-called child pornography was PhotoDNA, a database of known images of abuse, converted into unique digital codes, or hashes; it could be used to quickly comb through large numbers of images to detect a match even if a photo had been altered in small ways. After Microsoft released PhotoDNA in 2009, Facebook and other tech companies used it to root out users circulating illegal and harmful imagery.
“Its a terrific tool,” the president of the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children said [at the time](https://archive.nytimes.com/bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/12/16/microsoft-tackles-the-child-pornography-problem/).
A bigger breakthrough came along almost a decade later, in 2018, when Google [developed](https://www.blog.google/around-the-globe/google-europe/using-ai-help-organizations-detect-and-report-child-sexual-abuse-material-online/) an artificially intelligent tool that could recognize never-before-seen exploitative images of children. That meant finding not just known images of abused children but images of unknown victims who could potentially be rescued by the authorities. Google made [its technology](https://protectingchildren.google/#tools-to-fight-csam) available to other companies, including [Facebook](https://about.fb.com/news/2021/02/preventing-child-exploitation-on-our-apps/).
When Marks and Cassios photos were automatically uploaded from their phones to Googles servers, this technology flagged them. Jon Callas of the E.F.F. called the scanning intrusive, saying a family photo album on someones personal device should be a “private sphere.” (A Google spokeswoman said the company scans only when an “affirmative action” is taken by a user; that includes when the users phone backs up photos to the companys cloud.)
“This is precisely the nightmare that we are all concerned about,” Mr. Callas said. “Theyre going to scan my family album, and then Im going to get into trouble.”
A human content moderator for Google would have reviewed the photos after they were flagged by the artificial intelligence to confirm they met the federal definition of child sexual abuse material. When Google makes such a discovery, it locks the users account, searches for other exploitative material and, as required by [federal law](https://uscode.house.gov/view.xhtml?req=granuleid:USC-prelim-title18-section2258A&num=0&edition=prelim), makes a report to the CyberTipline at the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children.
The nonprofit organization has become the clearinghouse for abuse material; it received 29.3 million reports last year, or about 80,000 reports a day. Fallon McNulty, who manages the CyberTipline, said most of these are previously reported images, which remain in steady circulation on the internet. So her staff of 40 analysts focuses on potential new victims, so they can prioritize those cases for law enforcement.
“Generally, if NCMEC staff review a CyberTipline report and it includes exploitative material that hasnt been seen before, they will escalate,” Ms. McNulty said. “That may be a child who hasnt yet been identified or safeguarded and isnt out of harms way.”
Ms. McNulty said Googles astonishing ability to spot these images so her organization could report them to police for further investigation was “an example of the system working as it should.”
CyberTipline staff members add any new abusive images to the hashed database that is shared with technology companies for scanning purposes. When Marks wife learned this, she deleted the photos Mark had taken of their son from her iPhone, for fear Apple might flag her account. Apple [announced plans last year](https://www.nytimes.com/2021/08/05/technology/apple-iphones-privacy.html) to scan the iCloud for known sexually abusive depictions of children, but the rollout was [delayed](https://www.theverge.com/2021/12/15/22837631/apple-csam-detection-child-safety-feature-webpage-removal-delay) indefinitely after resistance from privacy groups.
In 2021, the CyberTipline [reported](https://www.missingkids.org/gethelpnow/cybertipline/cybertiplinedata) that it had alerted authorities to “over 4,260 potential new child victims.” The sons of Mark and Cassio were counted among them.
## No Crime Occurred
Image
Credit...Aaron Wojack for The New York Times
In December 2021, Mark received a manila envelope in the mail from the San Francisco Police Department. It contained a letter informing him that he had been investigated as well as copies of the search warrants served on Google and his internet service provider. An investigator, whose contact information was provided, had asked for everything in Marks Google account: his internet searches, his location history, his messages and any document, photo and video hed stored with the company.
The search, related to “child exploitation videos,” had taken place in February, within a week of his taking the photos of his son.
Mark called the investigator, Nicholas Hillard, who said the case was closed. Mr. Hillard had tried to get in touch with Mark but his phone number and email address hadnt worked.
“I determined that the incident did not meet the elements of a crime and that no crime occurred,” Mr. Hillard wrote in his report. The police had access to all the information Google had on Mark and decided it did not constitute child abuse or exploitation.
Mark asked if Mr. Hillard could tell Google that he was innocent so he could get his account back.
“You have to talk to Google,” Mr. Hillard said, according to Mark. “Theres nothing I can do.”
Mark appealed his case to Google again, providing the police report, but to no avail. After getting a notice two months ago that his account was being permanently deleted, Mark spoke with a lawyer about suing Google and how much it might cost.
“I decided it was probably not worth $7,000,” he said.
Kate Klonick, a law professor at St. Johns University who has written about [online content moderation](https://harvardlawreview.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/1598-1670_Online.pdf), said it can be challenging to “account for things that are invisible in a photo, like the behavior of the people sharing an image or the intentions of the person taking it.” False positives, where people are erroneously flagged, are [inevitable](https://www.linkedin.com/help/linkedin/answer/136405) given the billions of images being scanned. While most people would probably consider that trade-off worthwhile, given the benefit of identifying abused children, Ms. Klonick said companies need a “robust process” for clearing and reinstating innocent people who are mistakenly flagged.
“This would be problematic if it were just a case of content moderation and censorship,” Ms. Klonick said. “But this is doubly dangerous in that it also results in someone being reported to law enforcement.”
It could have been worse, she said, with a parent potentially losing custody of a child. “You could imagine how this might escalate,” Ms. Klonick said.
Cassio was also investigated by the police. A detective from the Houston Police department called in the fall of 2021, asking him to come into the station.
After Cassio showed the detective his communications with the pediatrician, he was quickly cleared. But he, too, was unable to get his decade-old Google account back, despite being a paying user of Googles web services. He now uses a Hotmail address for email, which people mock him for, and makes multiple backups of his data.
## You Dont Necessarily Know It When You See It
Image
Credit...Aaron Wojack for The New York Times
Not all photos of naked children are pornographic, exploitative or abusive. [Carissa Byrne Hessick](https://law.unc.edu/people/carissa-byrne-hessick/), a law professor at the University of North Carolina who writes about child pornography crimes, said that legally defining what constitutes sexually abusive imagery can be complicated.
But Ms. Hessick said she agreed with the police that medical images did not qualify. “Theres no abuse of the child,” she said. “Its taken for nonsexual reasons.”
In machine learning, a computer program is trained by being fed “right” and “wrong” information until it can distinguish between the two. To avoid flagging photos of babies in the bath or children running unclothed through sprinklers, Googles A.I. for recognizing abuse was trained both with images of potentially illegal material found by Google in user accounts in the past and with images that were not indicative of abuse, to give it a more precise understanding of what to flag.
I have seen the photos that Mark took of his son. The decision to flag them was understandable: They are explicit photos of a childs genitalia. But the context matters: They were taken by a parent worried about a sick child.
“We do recognize that in an age of telemedicine and particularly Covid, it has been necessary for parents to take photos of their children in order to get a diagnosis,” said Claire Lilley, Googles head of child safety operations. The company has consulted pediatricians, she said, so that its human reviewers understand possible conditions that might appear in photographs taken for medical reasons.
Dr. Suzanne Haney, chair of the American Academy of Pediatrics Council on Child Abuse and Neglect, advised parents against taking photos of their childrens genitals, even when directed by a doctor.
“The last thing you want is for a child to get comfortable with someone photographing their genitalia,” Dr. Haney said. “If you absolutely have to, avoid uploading to the cloud and delete them immediately.”
She said most physicians were probably unaware of the risks in asking parents to take such photos.
“I applaud Google for what theyre doing,” Dr. Haney said of the companys efforts to combat abuse. “We do have a horrible problem. Unfortunately, it got tied up with parents trying to do right by their kids.”
Cassio was told by a customer support representative earlier this year that sending the pictures to his wife using Google Hangouts violated the chat services [terms of service](https://support.google.com/hangouts/answer/9334169?hl=en). “Do not use Hangouts in any way that exploits children,” the terms read. “Google has a zero-tolerance policy against this content.”
As for Mark, Ms. Lilley, at Google, said that reviewers had not detected a rash or redness in the photos he took and that the subsequent review of his account turned up a video from six months earlier that Google also considered problematic, of a young child lying in bed with an unclothed woman.
Mark did not remember this video and no longer had access to it, but he said it sounded like a private moment he would have been inspired to capture, not realizing it would ever be viewed or judged by anyone else.
“I can imagine it. We woke up one morning. It was a beautiful day with my wife and son and I wanted to record the moment,” Mark said. “If only we slept with pajamas on, this all could have been avoided.”
A Google spokeswoman said the company stands by its decisions, even though law enforcement cleared the two men.
## Guilty by Default
Ms. Hessick, the law professor, said the cooperation the technology companies provide to law enforcement to address and root out child sexual abuse is “incredibly important,” but she thought it should allow for corrections.
“From Googles perspective, its easier to just deny these people the use of their services,” she speculated. Otherwise, the company would have to resolve more difficult questions about “whats appropriate behavior with kids and then whats appropriate to photograph or not.”
Mark still has hope that he can get his information back. The San Francisco police have the contents of his Google account preserved on a thumb drive. Mark is now trying to get a copy. A police spokesman said the department is eager to help him.
Nico Grant contributed reporting. Susan Beachy contributed research.
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# A Matter of Honor
![](https://magazine.atavist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/Honor_Lead-Illo1-scaled.jpg?is-pending-load=1)
*A Matter of Honor*
## Why were three Afghan women brutally murdered at the edge of Europe? A journey from Mazar-i-Sharif to Istanbul to Athens in search of answers.
###### The *Atavist* Magazine, No. 133
[Sarah Souli](https://sarahsouli.com/) is a journalist based in Athens, Greece. Her writing has appeared in publications including *The Economist*, *Vice*, *The Guardian*, *Allure*, and *Travel and Leisure*. She was previously a staff writer at *Colors* magazine. Her work has been supported by the International Womens Media Fund, Fabrica, and the Alfred Toepfer Foundation.
This story was completed with generous support from the [Incubator for Media Education and Development](https://www.imedd.org/), a nonprofit journalistic organization founded in 2018 with an exclusive donation from the Stavros Niarchos Foundation.
**Editor:** Seyward Darby
**Art Director:** Ed Johnson
**Copy Editor:** Sean Cooper
**Fact Checker:** Kyla Jones
**Illustrator:** Oriana Fenwick
**Researchers:** Khwaga Ghani, Aminullah Habiba Mayer
*Published in November 2022.*
*“Just by being there, the border is an invitation.*
*Come on, it whispers, step across this line. If you dare.”*
*—*Kapka Kassabova
Life in a diaspora can have the dull ache of a phantom limb. In the Istanbul neighborhood of Zeytinburnu, in August 2021, the pain was acute. More than 2,000 miles away, the Taliban was starting to take back control of Afghanistan; within days the country would fall to an old regime made new. The events had plunged Zeytinburnu, an enclave of tens of thousands of Afghans displaced from their home country by war, poverty, and other ills, into a state of collective fear and mourning.
The context seemed to render my investigation, now dragging into its third year, futile. What did three dead women matter when a whole nation was having its heart ripped out?
The heat of late summer shimmered off the pavement as I spent long, liquid days moving from one person to another, displaying my phone screen and asking the same question: *Do you know these women?* I approached customers in call centers that promised good rates back home, patrons in restaurants where the smell of mutton biryani filled the air, elderly men sipping tea on wooden benches, and mothers watching children at a construction site that had been turned into a makeshift playground. I lost count of how many people I asked. Everyone gave the same answer: *No.*
On what was supposed to be my last afternoon in Zeytinburnu, I stood outside a café window watching a young Afghan man inside churn cardamom *shiryakh* (ice cream) in a large copper pot. The customers behind him drank fruit juices and devoured frozen treats amid kitsch decor: blue plastic flowers, a glossy relief of the Swiss Alps. The scene felt at odds with the urgent historical moment; in Kabul, as the American military withdrew, the Taliban was shooting people dead in the streets. Still, perhaps my professional defeat, my failure to find answers, would go down easier with sugar.
**\*Names have been changed for individuals safety.**
The door to the café jingled as I walked inside with Tabsheer,\* an Afghan journalist and translator who was helping me report. We sat at a plastic table, where a waiter placed a dish of ice cream swirled to a perfect point and dusted with pistachio. After we ate, Tabsheer suggested, “Lets just ask one more person. Were here. We might as well.”
We settled on a middle-aged man who, in a pressed shirt and slacks, would have looked the consummate professional if not for the comically large banana smoothie he was drinking. We walked over and introduced ourselves using the same tired script. I took out my phone and pulled up a photo of a woman, her glossy red lips pursed in a coquettish expression that over the course of my reporting had come to signify disappointment—at men, at law enforcement, at me, the journalist trying to unearth her story.
The man looked at the image and put down his smoothie. He furrowed his brow and leaned in slightly. His lips parted and he hesitated a moment, which prepared me for familiar disappointment. Then he spoke.
“Yes,” he said. He cocked his head to the side. “Yes, I know this woman.”
“Are you sure?”I asked, incredulous at the turn the day had taken.
I pulled up another photo—a teenager with dark eyes, her straight hair tucked behind one ear. “What about this girl, do you recognize her?” I asked, holding my breath.
The man narrowed his eyes. “Yes,” he repeated.
I brought up another photo, this time of a young man looking over his shoulder, his mouth firmly set. “I often saw them together around here, but this was many years ago,” the man said. He looked at me quizzically. “What do you want with these people?”
I chose my next words carefully. Few things spook people like the mention of murder. “Im looking for them,” I replied. “Something bad happened to them in Greece.”
The man held my gaze for a moment and took a sip of his smoothie. Whatever he was weighing, when he set his glass down he seemed to have made up his mind. “I know all these people, and I know their story,” he said. “I will tell you everything.”
**Three Years Earlier**
On the morning of October 10, 2018, a Greek farmer named Nikos Papachatzidis left his house to tend his fields. His land abutting the Evros River had long been a source of pride. This slice of the world, on the very eastern edge of Europe, is fertile, a place where sugarcane, cotton, wheat, and sunflowers grow in abundance.
With his snow-white hair blowing in the breeze, Papachatzidis, then in his early seventies, hopped onto his tractor and began tilling the soil. As he drove, he noticed something on the ground: a human hand, bound with a length of rope. He stopped the tractor and climbed down to find a dead woman, her face more or less intact, with a wide wound on her neck. Papachatzidis called the police.
Papachatzidis is not a man easily ruffled. When the police arrived, they cordoned off the area around the body, and Papachatzidis went back to work on another part of his land. He stayed out until sundown, at which point he returned home, exchanged his muddy boots for house slippers, and told his wife about the dead woman. At first she was angry—why had he waited all day to tell her? Then she grew so scared that a killer might be on the loose that she spent a sleepless night praying.
The next day, the couple received a phone call from the police. The bodies of two other women had been found on Papachatzidiss land. It was likely that all three were migrants or asylum seekers. They had been murdered.
Bodies turn up along the Evros River with morbid regularity. The thin, shallow waterway divides Greece and Turkey for some 120 miles—the countries only shared land border—before dumping into the Aegean Sea. The area around Papachatzidiss farm is a popular gateway for people desperate to enter Europe in search of freedom, safety, and dignity. But while traversing the river is less treacherous than a boat passage across the Mediterranean, it is by no means safe. Between 2018 and 2022, more than 200 migrants and refugees died trying to cross the Evros. Hypothermia and drowning are the most common causes of death. The strong current is challenging even for capable swimmers, and natural debris such as tree branches can snag on clothing and drag people—often children—to the rivers muddy bed. Across the Evros, other dangers await. Smugglers load people into vans bound for Thessaloniki, Greeces second-largest city, with drivers who are often scared and inexperienced, resulting in horrific car crashes along the highway.
Murder, though, is a different matter. It is all but unheard of in Evros, the Greek region that takes its name from the river. For locals, the crime on Papachatzidiss land was the most brutal act in recent memory.
Word spread fast, fueling rumors. This was the work of Islamic State operatives, some people said. No, the Turks did it. No, only a Greek soldier could be responsible. Greece, after all, had militarized the border in recent years, in an effort to keep migrants out of the European Union. With support from Brussels, the Evros River was now lined with fences and patrolled by men with guns. Some police officers who intercepted Afghans, Syrians, Somalis, and other migrants after they crossed the river allegedly violated international human rights law by sending them right back to Turkey, a practice known as pushback. (Despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, Greece denies that it engages in pushback.) Over the coming years, several people would be shot dead trying to enter Evros. In March 2020, as border police and the military fired upon migrants, reportedly killing two, European Commission president Ursula von der Leyen thanked Greece for being “a European shield.”
A glaring indignity, among many others, is that Europe is not always aware of who dies on its doorstep. Identifying bodies found in Evros is the job of one man: Pavlos Pavlidis, a doctor and forensic scientist. When a migrant dies, the body is taken to Pavlidiss morgue at University General Hospital in the seaside city of Alexandroupoli.
Pavlidis is tall and gaunt, with the stooped demeanor of a man used to doling out bad news. His job often feels Sisyphean: endless and hopeless. Unlike the sea, the Evros River has no salt to preserve bodies, and faces quickly disintegrate beyond recognition. Most identifying documents are lost or heavily damaged during crossings. Pavlidis takes DNA from the bodies and notes potentially identifying clues—tattoos and circumcisions, for instance—as well as material possessions. He sometimes works with the International Red Cross and various embassies to try and contact the families of the deceased. In most cases, the bodies he inspects are never identified.
When Pavlidis arrived at Papachatzidiss farm, a grisly scene awaited him. Two of the women were found on their knees, facedown in the soil. Roughly 330 feet away, the third woman, who looked older than the others, lay sprawled on the ground, as though she had tried to run away and been knocked off her feet. All three had their hands bound, and their throats were cut. Their shoes were laced and their pants were buttoned.
Pavlidis is not an emotional man. In the more than two decades he has spent toiling in a hospital basement, he has learned not to think about what the dead were like when they were alive, or what they experienced in their final moments. A morgue is no place to contemplate the immense cruelty of the world if one wants to stay sane. “You get feelings,” Pavlidis said with a firm shake of his head. “I dont want that.”
Pavlidis oversaw the transfer of the womens bodies to Alexandroupoli, where they were placed on metal gurneys. The sharp chemical smell of the hospital masked the musk of decay. Decomposition had already set in; it appeared that several days passed before Papachatzidis discovered the bodies. Pavlidis noted that the women were dressed like “Europeans,” in tight denim and without headscarves. They had no identifying documents. Pavlidis found no internal bruising or other signs of trauma. No drugs or alcohol were in the womens systems, and there was no evidence of sexual assault. The younger women were still, at least medically speaking, virgins; the older woman was not.
Pavlidis took DNA samples from skin, clothes, and hair. He scraped underneath the womens fingernails, which were manicured and painted pearly pink. Genetic testing soon illuminated one piece of the story: The women were related. The younger two were sisters, and they had been killed a short distance from their mother.
The cause of death in each case was hemorrhagic shock brought on by severe blood loss. The womens jugular veins had been cut, likely by someone right-handed. In Pavlidiss experience, wounds of this nature were often sloppy and jagged; slicing someones throat is difficult, especially if theyre screaming or moving around. But the wounds on the women were precise. “It was like a butcher cut,” Pavlidis told me, sitting in his office. A cigarette smoldered in a glass ashtray on his desk, and an old PC hummed behind it. “Ive said from the beginning, this guy is a professional.”
Two knives were found at the crime scene: one nine and a half inches long, with a serrated edge, and another, slightly shorter, with a black plastic handle. Both had been wiped clean. Police found a few other items near the bodies, including a water bottle, a bag of almonds, a tube of lipstick, and a soda can.
The most important piece of evidence was also one of the luckiest finds: a Samsung mobile phone tucked in the mothers breast pocket. The local police didnt have the technology to extract metadata from it, nor the experience to handle what was likely to become an international criminal investigation. The women had been killed in Greece after leaving Turkey, and it was all but certain theyd begun life in a third country. To find out who the women were and who had killed them, someone with resources and connections would have to run the investigation.
## In the photos on the phone, the women were suddenly alive. In some images they had their arms thrown around each other. Filters—floating pink hearts, rabbit ears—embellished others.
Zacharoula Tsirigoti is short and compact, with small fingers that seem constantly to be rolling cigarettes with the assistance of a little machine she keeps in her purse and reddish hair that, when we met, was cropped close to her scalp. But while outward appearances indicate a woman built for efficiency, during our first interview Tsirigoti called herself “a romantic.” I watched her tear up twice while talking about her work.
From the age of 13, Tsirigoti wanted to be a police officer. “Not like the riot police that just beat people up,” she clarified, wagging a finger in the air. She wanted to give back to her community; she was attracted to the ethos of service and protection. After graduating from university, Tsirigoti started off as a constable, then spent 22 years working on relations between the Hellenic police and foreign law enforcement. She eventually became head of the Aliens and Border Protection Branch, and in 2016 was promoted to lieutenant general in the Hellenic police in Athens, making her the highest-ranking female officer in Greece.
None of this was without challenges. Greece is the lowest-ranked EU country in terms of gender equality; the Hellenic police is not a bastion of feminism. “The society in Greece is not ready to accept women doing jobs that men used to do,” Tsirigoti said. She sprinkled tobacco onto a rolling paper and looked up at me with a sly smile. “They gave me this branch because they thought I couldnt manage the situation, but they were wrong,” she said. “A woman is more diplomatic than a man.”
Diplomacy was one characteristic needed to helm the investigation into the triple murder in Evros. Another was patience. Tsirigoti knew it might take months, if not years, to make progress in the case. The required paperwork and bureaucratic maneuvering, already Kafkaesque in Greece, would become even more dizzyingly complex when other nations entered the mix. With her commitment to her work and her Rolodex of international contacts, plus her deep understanding of migration patterns between Greece and Turkey from her time in border protection, Tsirigoti was ideally suited to the job.
One factor working against the investigation was general disinterest in the victims. In November 2018, a month after the murders, Eleni Topaloudi, a 21-year-old Greek woman, was attacked, gang-raped, and killed on the island of Rhodes. The case mobilized the nation, and police quickly arrested the perpetrators. The following year, when Suzanne Eaton, a sixty-year-old American woman, was murdered on Crete, the crime made headlines around the world, and her killer was brought to justice in two weeks. By contrast, the three migrant women killed in Evros barely made the news.
Tsirigoti didnt just keep law enforcements attention on the case—she *was* the attention. “For me as a woman, it was very sad to see a mother with her two daughters killed like this,” she said. “To cross the border to another country there is a cause. They are human beings, not a number. I wanted to prove to the world, to the EU, that the Greek police investigate and care about everything. It was a matter of honor.”
The first step in the investigation was to contact Interpol, the international organization that facilitates cooperation among law enforcement in 195 countries. Greek police sent a “black notice” to the agency, an official request for information pertaining to unidentified bodies. They shared fingerprints taken from the three bodies—if the women had been registered as asylum seekers in, say, Turkey, there was a chance Interpol would be able to identify them. “We expected to get an answer from them,” Tsirigoti said. But that route turned out to be a dead end.
Tsirigoti hoped that the phone found on the mother would hold clues, so in December 2018 she turned to the Hellenic polices anti-terrorism unit—not because she suspected that the women had been killed in an act of terrorism, but because the unit is the most technologically advanced in Greek law enforcement. Forensic analysts extracted data from the phone, including 511 contacts, 282 text messages, the dates, times, and numbers associated with 194 calls, and hundreds of photos and videos. Additional messages were found on social media platforms, along with data indicating when and where Wi-Fi was activated.
Sifting through the information, Tsirigoti was able to begin piecing together the womens identities. They were from Afghanistan, and their first names were Fahima, Rabiya, and Farzana. Fahima, the mother, was in her mid-to-late thirties. Rabiya was 17, and Farzana couldnt have been older than 14. In the photos on the phone, they were suddenly alive. In some images they had their arms thrown around each other. Filters—floating pink hearts, rabbit ears—embellished others.
Now that Tsirigoti knew the womens nationality, her next move was to reach out to the Afghan ambassador in Greece, Mirwais Samadi. In March 2019, she shared the black notice and other details about the case with him. A much needed stroke of luck: Samadi was close with the chief of police in Kabul. He called in a favor to accelerate the process of formally identifying the women.
Two months later, in May, Tsirigoti received a document from the Interpol office in Kabul. It stated that Fahima was married with five children: Rabiya, Farzana, and three younger ones, two boys and a girl. The whole family had left their home in Mazar-i-Sharif, in the north of Afghanistan, in early 2018. They had passed through Iran before settling in Istanbul for a few months, where they sought passage to Europe. When the Mazar-i-Sharif branch of Interpol received photos of the deceased women, one of Fahimas sisters and an uncle identified them; law enforcement was able to corroborate their identities with a brother-in-law of Fahimas living in Europe.
Tsirigoti then turned her attention to Turkey, visiting the country five times as part of the investigation. She worked with the Turkish authorities, trying to track down men who may have come in contact with Fahima and her daughters. Since the women were migrants, they almost certainly had paid smugglers to get them across the Evros River. Those men could be murder suspects or the last people to see the women alive.
But that summer, Tsirigotis investigation came to a sudden halt. Political allegiances run deep in Greece, and Tsirigoti had been appointed to her post under the leftist Syriza government, which in the July 2019 elections lost power to the center-right New Democracy party. The new government made sweeping changes to police leadership, and on July 23 Tsirigoti, only 54 at the time, was forced to retire. “I didnt finish the investigation,” she said, “and I feel very sad about it. But the police is a mans world.” She shrugged.
Before vacating her office, Tsirigoti spoke with the officer who would take over the case. She made him swear to God hed solve it. He promised he would, then handed it off to a small team of young male officers. It soon stagnated as police cooperation along the Greek-Turkish border all but ceased under the new government.
Conflict between Greece and Turkey stretches back centuries. After nearly 400 years of occupation by the Ottomans, Greece declared independence in 1821. Four wars followed. In 1923, a forced population exchange of 1.2 million Orthodox Greeks living in Turkey for 400,000 Muslim Turks living in Greece drastically altered the demographic makeup of each country. Refugees came to constitute one-fifth of Greeces population—among them was Tsirigotis grandmother.
Another influx of refugees, this time in the 21st century, became a new source of acrimony between Greece and Turkey; both countries are keen to stir the pot of nationalist ideology and point fingers at each other when it suits them. Greece insists that Turkey isnt doing enough to stop displaced people from crossing into European territory, while Turkey, host to the worlds largest refugee population, accuses Greece of pushback measures. Caught in the middle are migrants and refugees, human beings treated as pawns.
With her professional experience and fervent commitment to justice, Tsirigoti had managed to bulldoze through political hostilities to investigate the murders of Fahima, Rabiya, and Farzana. Without her there was a risk that the crime might never be solved. When we first met, in January 2020, Tsirigoti was still keeping an eye on the case, albeit from afar. She also had a theory about what had happened to the women. She leaned in close to tell me. Behind her, cars zipped down a busy Athens street. “It is my belief that this was an honor killing,” Tsirigoti said.
It seemed reductionist to assume that foreign women had been killed for foreign reasons, as opposed to a smuggling gone wrong, a mangled burglary, or something else related to the perilous journey theyd made to Europe. A form of gendered violence seen primarily in extremely conservative communities, honor killings usually occur when a woman or girl is believed to have tarnished a mans reputation. These are not crimes of opportunity—they necessarily involve a perpetrator motivated by a desire to protect what he perceives as his dignity. Who might have had that motive, and why? Tsirigoti didnt have an answer, but she thought she knew who might.
Found on the phone in Fahimas pocket were photos of a young man who appeared to be in his early twenties, with deep-set eyes and black hair that swooped across his broad forehead. There were images of him with Fahimas daughters in a park, and one of him sitting on a sofa. In some of these, he had his arms around Fahima; in one, she kissed his cheek. What was his relationship to the women? Could it have been a reason for violence, committed by him or by someone else?
Data from the phone indicated that the young man may have been the last person to see Fahima and her daughters alive. Law enforcement had no idea where he was. I told Tsirigoti that Id try to find him. Then, in a rush of bravado, I went further: I said that I would find out what happened to the three women.
“OK,” Tsirigoti said with a chuckle. “Good luck.”
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Zacharoula Tsirigoti and Pavlos Pavlidis
The starting point was easy to see. Authorities had cleared Fahimas husband of suspicion, but I wanted to speak to him myself. Even if he had nothing to do with the crime, his memories of his wife and daughters could prove invaluable.
After a series of phone calls, I met Abdul\* in February 2020, in Victoria Square, a part of Athenss Kypseli neighborhood that had become a hub for refugees, many of whom would soon be forced into the streets as shelters became overcrowded or shut down during the COVID-19 pandemic. Abdul was a thin, tiny man. He moved nervously, as if he were afraid of taking up space or drawing attention to himself. He seemed suspicious and scared—of me.
Abdul and his three surviving children traveled from Turkey to Greece by boat in 2019. They spent a harrowing few weeks at a refugee camp on the island of Lesbos before they were granted temporary asylum and transferred to Athens. Not long after our meeting, the family would be given permanent asylum in another European country.
As we spoke, Abduls children sat nearby drinking orange juice and coloring in spiral notebooks with abandon. Abdul confessed that he hadnt explained to them that their mother and elder sisters were dead. He sat with his back to them, to shield them from his tears.
“What do you tell them?” I asked.
“That they are waiting for us in Germany,” he replied.
The first thing Abdul wanted me to know was that he loved Fahima fiercely. He could not even utter his daughters names—doing so seemed painful beyond comprehension—so he concentrated on his wife. “We were like Romeo and Juliet,” he told me. Fahima was bigger than him, physically and otherwise, and he was fine to let her take the wheel of their life together. She managed their money, and it was her idea to leave Afghanistan. No one in their extended family supported the decision. Abdul had a mostly steady job and earned enough for the family to rent a small house and enjoy tiny luxuries from time to time. The children were in school. Why risk going to Europe?
Fahima wanted her children to grow up free. There was an individualistic component to this—for them to dress as they wished, to have access to technology, to connect with the wider world—but even more important was the chance for her children to live without the looming threat of war. She wanted to ensure that her daughters werent forced into marriage or motherhood, or killed at a young age. Fahima was not content with the incrementally better life her family had in Afghanistan.
The family left Afghanistan in January 2018. They packed up a few belongings and took a bus from Mazar-i-Sharif to Kabul, then caught another bus to Herat, a popular crossing point into Iran. They spent a few freezing cold days in Tehran before walking across a mountainous border into Turkey with a group of migrants and refugees, led by smugglers. Eventually they made it to Istanbul, settled in Zeytinburnu, and tried to cross into Greece several times without success. That summer, Abdul left Istanbul to find work in another Turkish city.
His telling of what happened next was frustratingly vague. Was he aware that his wife and eldest daughters were planning on leaving without the rest of the family? He was not. Why had Fahima taken Rabiya and Farzana alone to Greece? He didnt know. Wasnt he concerned when he didnt hear from them for months? He assumed everything was fine. Did he try to locate Fahima? He trusted that she would eventually reach out to him. When he learned that his wife and daughters were dead—first through the Zeytinburnu grapevine, then officially from the Greek police—did he have any idea who might have wanted to hurt them? No, he said. He had no clue.
I spoke with Abdul again after that day, and while his answers became no clearer, what did crystallize was an additional reason for his opacity. Abdul wasnt just grieving and frightened—he was also embarrassed because his wife had left him for another man. I wondered about the young man in the photos on Fahimas phone. When I had showed one of the images to Abdul, he paused before telling me that the man was a neighbor in Istanbul, someone he had seen once or twice.
After several sad, complicated interviews, it was clear I wasnt going to get anything more out of Abdul. I turned next to the people who seemed most likely to know Fahimas secrets, the things she would never tell her husband, no matter how in love he believed they once were. The Greek police had never formally interviewed Fahimas family. But in Afghanistan, as in many places, women tend to confide in other women. I wanted to talk to Fahimas sisters.
## Hadila thought that Fahima and her daughters had drowned while trying to reach Europe. As I delivered the news of their murders, Hadila began to cry, rocking back and forth.
Mazar-i-Sharif is Afghanistans fourth-largest city; the wider region where it sits, known as Balkh Province, shares a watery border with Uzbekistan. The city is famous for its blue mosque, which Sunni Muslims believe houses the tomb of Ali ibn Abi Talib, the Prophet Mohammeds cousin. The mosque, with its sea of cerulean tiles that glimmer in the sun, has remained miraculously intact through several military incursions.
In the 1980s, Mazar-i-Sharif was a strategic position for the Soviet army, which transformed the citys airport into a launch point for missiles targeting the mujahideen. For a brief, sweet period in the 1990s, the city was a generally stable proto-state, before the Taliban took over and massacred some 8,000 people. When it entered the city in November 2001, the U.S.-backed Northern Alliance easily captured Mazar-i-Sharif and killed more than 3,000 Taliban fighters, burying them in unmarked graves. For the next two decades, periods of relative peace were punctuated by horrific violence. Still, Mazar-i-Sharif held on to its reputation as one of the more liberal cities in Afghanistan, so much so that when the Taliban seized it in August 2021, its leaders promptly fled to Uzbekistan rather than face imprisonment, or worse.
Fahima and Abdul were married during the Taliban era. Their wedding was a simple religious affair, without music or even a wedding dress, and it was marred by tragedy. One of Fahimas brothers-in-law was in a car accident on the way to the ceremony, and the blame was thrown onto the bride. Shes bad luck, her in-laws said. At the time, Fahima was still a teenager—not much older than Farzana, her middle daughter, would be when she was murdered.
Fahima was one of seven siblings, three of whom had passed away by the time she and her family left Afghanistan: One died from a childhood illness, another during wartime, and a third in a gas explosion at home. After Fahimas death, only three siblings remained—all women—and they lived in or around Mazar-i-Sharif. Rahila was the one who identified Fahimas body in photographs. Farida had ultraconservative in-laws who wouldnt permit her talk to her family anymore, let alone a journalist. Then there was Hadila, the eldest sister and the one closest to Fahima. We connected on a video call through WhatsApp in November 2020; the pandemic prevented me from going to Afghanistan.
Hadila was 40 at the time, with eight children of her own. A few of them snuggled around her as we spoke, their heads poking out from under a large pile of colorful blankets. It was freezing in northern Afghanistan, and heat was prohibitively expensive, so they had to make do. Hadila was eager to talk. She said that no one ever contacted her about what had happened to her sisters and nieces—not the police, not Abdul, not even Rahila, who after identifying Fahimas body fell into a deep depression. Hadila thought that Fahima and her daughters drowned while trying to reach Europe. As I delivered the news of their murders, Hadila began to cry, rocking back and forth. She wiped her tears away with the corner of her scarf.
When Fahima was a little girl, she would follow Hadila around the house, sucking her thumb and tugging at her elder sisters skirts, dutifully trotting behind as Hadila milked cows or baked bread. They were close and remained so as they grew up, married, and started families of their own. Fahima was something of a black sheep in the community, Hadila explained—full of life and eager to dress up, wear makeup, and dance. “She was always different,” Hadila said, a touch of pride in her voice. Fahima was a good mother, she added, and close with her children, especially her two eldest girls.
Hadila spoke with Fahima on four occasions after she left Afghanistan, and the last two conversations left Hadila feeling whiplash. In the first of those, out of the blue, Fahima announced that she had engaged Rabiya to an older man, an Afghan from Kunduz Province who was well established in Zeytinburnu. This man had connections and promised to provide Fahima and her daughters with documentation to stay in Turkey. The fiancé housed them too. Fahima texted a photo of the suitor to a phone shared by Hadilas family. Someone later dropped the phone into a toilet, and the photo was lost; police didnt find it on the Samsung recovered at the crime scene in Greece. The only thing Hadila could remember about the fiancé was his age. He was at least 40, and Rabiya wasnt yet 18.
Fahima had said she left Afghanistan in order to give her daughters a better life, but it was difficult for Hadila to see how marriage to a much older man would help Rabiya, whom she described as quiet and shy. The detrimental consequences of child marriage, including reduced economic and educational opportunities, and exposure to physical and emotional abuse, are well documented. “I was upset with her,” Hadila said, referring to Fahima, “because Rabiya didnt want to get married.”
Political borders are no match for gossip, and in Mazar-i-Sharif, Fahimas family began to glean more information about the mysterious fiancé. “I would hear all these things about this guy,” Nawid, Hadilas eldest son, told me. “He was an old man, he had two other wives, and he had more children. I heard that it was something done by force and Rabiya was not happy.”
Then, in August 2018, Hadila spoke with Fahima for the last time. Fahima said that she wanted to break off the engagement between Rabiya and the fiancé because Rabiya was unhappy with the match. Fahima didnt elaborate further. Hadila was relieved for Rabiya, but she also felt a pinch of fear. What if the fiancé retaliated?
In a matter of weeks, Hadilas sister and nieces would be dead.
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Fahima, and a scene from Zeytinburnu
Despite their close bond, there were things that Fahima didnt tell her eldest sister. Hadila had heard rumors that Fahima was separated from her husband, but Fahima never mentioned it. Until I spoke to her, Hadila didnt know that Fahima was in a relationship with someone new; the photo of the young man drew a blank stare when I showed it to her. Police in Afghanistan, I soon learned, had identified the man in the picture as Mirajuddin Osman. He was also from Mazar-i-Sharif.
For several months leading up to my conversations with Hadila and other sources in Afghanistan, the Greek police hadnt responded to my requests for an interview. When they finally did, in early 2021, they said they would speak only on the condition that I share my findings about the murders with them—a sign, it seemed, of how little progress theyd made since Zacharoula Tsirigotis ouster from the force 18 months prior. Later I would be asked to testify under oath.
During the interview, I asked if the police had heard anything about Rabiya being engaged. The officers said no. Then they summarized SMS messages retrieved from the phone found on Fahimas body. There were exchanges between Rabiya and a friend that lamented a situation involving a man called Saïd. None of my sources had mentioned that name. Perhaps Saïd was the spurned fiancé?
The police did confirm what I suspected about Osman—that he was Fahimas boyfriend. They said they were still looking for him.
Certainly, Fahima leaving her husband for a much younger man—and taking two of their children with her—could have given Abdul motive to hurt her. In Afghanistan, divorce at the behest of a woman is extremely difficult to achieve. A woman leaving home without permission from male family members can be criminalized under Article 130 of the countrys constitution, making it a risky prospect. In even the most sympathetic circumstances, a woman ending a marriage is a cultural taboo. Though Fahima and Abdul were in Turkey by the time they split, they were living in a heavily Afghan neighborhood, where cultural norms, while loosened, were still observed.
I thought back on my interviews with Abdul. He had seemed devastated by the murders, and so beaten down by life that he didnt have the heart to reprimand his kids as they clambered, shrieking loudly, over the patio furniture of the café where we talked. I could not imagine him killing or enlisting someone else to kill his wife, let alone the daughters whose names he now found it too painful to speak.
The police were equally sure he wasnt the killer. In fact, they had long suspected that whoever murdered Fahima, Rabiya, and Farzana crossed back into Turkey after committing the crime. Any new leads—about suspects or witnesses, about Osman or the mysterious Saïd—would likely emerge only in Zeytinburnu.
## In Turkey all Afghans are treated the same, equally denied health care, employment rights, and formal education. The Turkish government doesnt recognize them as legal refugees.
W
hen I arrived in Istanbul in early August 2021, wildfires had broken out across Turkey, and the heat in the city was stifling. I had only one lead to start my reporting: the contact information of a man Id met on a private Telegram group used by Afghan migrants. The man, who asked that I not use his name, knew Fahima and her daughters in the months leading up to their murders. For a time, he and his wife had lived in the same small, dirty apartment as Fahima, Abdul, and their five children, in a building in Zeytinburnu.
A historically working-class neighborhood, Zeytinburnu sits on the European side of Istanbul. Traditionally, it was the leatherworking area of the sprawling city. In 1983 the Turkish government, in an act of political goodwill to assist people of “Turkish origin and culture,” invited a few hundred Turkmen and Uzbek refugees from Afghanistans war with the Soviet Union to settle in the neighborhood. Since then, Zeytinburnu has become home to tens of thousands of Afghans, representing the entire range of the countrys many ethnic groups. Over the course of my reporting I met Pashtuns, Tajiks, Kazakhs, Uzbeks, Hazara, and Turkmen. Pashtuns make up about 40 percent of the Afghan population, and back home they occupy most of the high-ranking positions in government. But in Turkey all Afghans are treated the same, equally denied health care, employment rights, and formal education. The Turkish government doesnt recognize them as legal refugees.
According to the man Id found online, for at least a month in the spring of 2018, Fahima and her family lived in a basement room in a blue building where some local smugglers housed their clients. The steps leading to the basement were awkward, requiring a sideways shuffle to descend safely. A naked lightbulb hung from the low ceiling, casting a feeble glow on the grime-covered walls. There was a small landing and three doors, one of which was cobbled together from scraps of plywood and padlocked. A peculiar smell wafted in the air, something unsanitary. I knocked on all three doors, and a young Turkish woman answered one of them, her face half visible through a narrow crack. She had moved in only in the previous year, she told me politely. She didnt know about any Afghans.
The transitory nature of Zeytinburnu creates a distinct problem for someone trying to piece the shattered mirror of recent history back together. It had been nearly three years since Fahima, Rabiya, and Farzana lived there. The majority of people I talked to on the neighborhoods streets, along the nearby waterfront, and inside its shops and businesses had arrived in Istanbul within the past year. They could not have known the women whose photos I showed them. Memory loss is a common side effect of trauma, and some of the people I interviewed had trouble recalling events, both recent and long past. One woman I spoke to had been living in Zeytinburnu for four years, but the Taliban had murdered her husband in front of her eyes, and since then shed had trouble remembering things. “Ill forget your face as soon as you leave,” she told me, her voice flat.
I had the names and photos of several smugglers who, based on information gleaned from the man Id found online, I knew had encountered Fahima and her daughters in Zeytinburnu. The women had tried to cross the border into Greece at least four times, racking up debts to their traffickers. I managed to track down some of the smugglers, including one who lived in the same blue building Fahima and her daughters spent time in, but none of them would admit to their line of work, let alone to knowing Fahima, Rabiya, and Farzana.
Turkish law enforcement is omnipresent in Zeytinburnu, and well aware of its smuggling networks. “The police know everything that goes on here,” an Afghan man inside a money-transfer shop told me. He wasnt the only person to acknowledge the symbiotic relationship that governs the neighborhood: Smugglers pay off law enforcement to turn a blind eye to their business ventures, while also exploiting peoples fear of the who patrol Zeytinburnu threatening imprisonment or deportation. Major disruptions to the order of things are not tolerated. In 2018, the same year Fahima, Rabiya, and Farzana were killed, another Afghan woman, Elhan Atifi, was murdered in Istanbul. The violent husband shed left behind in Kabul traveled nearly 3,000 miles to strangle her to death. Turkish police quickly investigated and prosecuted him.
I wondered: Had Fahima and her daughters been murdered a few yards into Greece by someone who knew *not* to kill them in Istanbul? Someone who understood that to protect his interests, he needed to avoid making the crime Turkish law enforcements responsibility?
It was a logical enough theory for which I didnt have a shred of proof. Then, on the verge of giving up hope, Tabsheer and I walked into the ice cream shop.
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Mirajuddin Osman
“Zeytinburnu is a place where you cant hide.” Thats what Mohammed\*, the man we approached in the shop, told me after confirming that he recognized Fahima, Rabiya, and Farzana. We had moved to an area upstairs in the café where we could be alone. Mohammed spread his tanned hands on the plastic table between us and sighed before telling us what he knew.
Back in 2018, he said, hed seen the women together with Mirajuddin Osman. There was speculation in the local Afghan community that Fahima had left her husband and was dating Osman. “Only God knows what was between them,” Mohammed said with a shrug. He had seen Fahimas husband once or twice in Zeytinburnu, but always alone.
Mohammed cleared his throat and motioned for me to turn off my recorder before continuing. Here is what I wrote in my notes: Fahima planned to marry Rabiya off to a man whom Mohammed called Hajji Saïd. *Hajji* is an Islamic prefix of respect, reserved for someone who has made the pilgrimage to Mecca. And Saïd was the name the Greek police had asked me about, the man mentioned in Rabiyas text messages.
Mohammed said that Saïd already had two wives—one in Afghanistan and another in Pakistan. When he decided to marry Rabiya, in early 2018, he also agreed to pay for her: He gave Fahima several thousand euros for his new teenage bride. Around Ramadan, which that year began in May, they were officially engaged, and later they married. Fahima and her daughters then moved into Saïds apartment.
Saïd was a man used to getting what he wanted. He had been living in Zeytinburnu for twenty years, and he was a pillar in the community, an important Pashtun smuggler who employed a network of people. In fact, Osmans brother worked for him at one point. Saïd also owned a *hawala* shop, overseeing money transfers and electronics sales.
And how did Mohammed know all this?
Because, he told me, he and Saïd were related.
The two men had a falling out, Mohammed explained, and werent talking by the time Saïd became engaged to Rabiya. In the summer of 2018, Mohammed traveled to Afghanistan. When he came back to Istanbul, Rabiya, Fahima, and Farzana were gone. He still wasnt on good terms with Saïd, and could only guess that the women had left for a European country, somewhere cold and far away, like Belgium or Germany. That remained his assumption.
I told him about the murders, about the womens bodies found prone with their throats cut near the Evros River. Mohammed closed his eyes.
“Whoever did this to these girls, God will punish them,” he said.
“Do you think—well, sorry to ask, but do you think that maybe your…,” I stammered.
“You want to know if he killed them,” Mohammed interjected. “I dont know that. But I believe this is an honor killing.”
Before we ended our conversation, Mohammed gave me an address. If I wanted to talk to Saïd, my best chance was to go there, to his place of business.
## Saïd looked at me hard and said I could come back tomorrow to talk to him. We both knew that if I returned to the store, he wouldnt be there.
The *hawala* was on a side street near Zeytinburnus main drag. It was evening when Tabsheer and I arrived, and the shop glowed in the darkness. Through the window, I could see five-kilo bags of Afghan rice stacked against one wall; across from these was a display of cell phones and accessories covered in a thin layer of dust. A middle-aged man sat behind the counter scrolling on his phone; a younger man was next to him doing the same thing.
I took a deep breath, pushed the door open, and walked in. Saïd was heavyset, with a rounded jaw and drooping features. There was a large birthmark on his right cheekbone, like a smudged thumbprint. He looked up as I walked toward him, extending my phone. Rabiyas face was displayed on the screen.
“I want to talk to you about Rabiya,” I said, forgoing all formalities, my voice louder than Id intended.
Saïd jumped up from his seat and rushed out from behind the counter, flapping his hands. At first he denied knowing the women, whose photos I showed one by one. Then he admitted having seen them in the area. He recognized Fahima—but so what? “People come through here all the time, this is Turkey,” he protested.
He swore that he hadnt been in a relationship with Rabiya. His breathing became ragged, and his hands started to shake—it seemed like he might have a panic attack. As I held up Rabiyas photo again, he averted his gaze, shaking his head as tears filled his eyes and threatened to tumble down his cheeks. The young man, who had remained behind the counter, interjected. “He doesnt know these people,” he insisted.
I would later find out that this was Saïds nephew. In the moment, I was frustrated that Saïd had an emotional accomplice. I needed to speak to him alone. “Why dont we go somewhere quieter to talk?” I suggested.
Saïd changed out of his sandals into dress shoes before we stepped into the hot night. He indicated a café nearby, but no sooner had we reached the street than he stopped and asked us to come to his home. It was an odd turn, and one that momentarily made me panic. Tabsheer and I declined the invitation. Saïd then tried to double back to the store—to retrieve his wallet, he said, since he insisted on paying for the tea we would have while talking. But Tabsheer and I encouraged him to continue on with us. We didnt want to lose any momentum.
As we walked, Saïd stayed a few steps ahead. He called people on his phone—one of his employees, a friend. His voice was muffled, and it was difficult to make out what he was saying. Every now and then he would turn around and implore us to think of his wives, his children. I kept up a steady stream of questions in English, which Tabsheer translated. Soon Tabsheer realized that Saïd had begun muttering under his breath, in Pashto, *“Fuck Rabiya, fuck Rabiya.”*
We reached a small, well-lit square with an empty café off to one side—we could talk there, I said. But the mood had darkened. Saïd raised his voice and pleaded loudly with Tabsheer in Pashto, ignoring me. I pulled my phone out and began recording him, and Saïd smacked my hand, less out of a desire to hurt me, it seemed, and more from uncontrollable desperation.
“My mind is exploding,” Saïd cried. People on the street stopped to stare at us. “Im going to collapse and die right here!” He clutched the sides of his head.
I could feel my heart beating in my chest. Saïd looked at me hard and said I could come back tomorrow to talk to him. We both knew that if I returned to the store, he wouldnt be there. As he crossed the street to get away from me, he called out to Tabsheer, who approached him one last time.
“Please, youre an Afghan,” Saïd begged. He touched Tabsheers chin—a deferential gesture in Afghan culture. “Get me out of this situation. Do something about this.”
Then he was gone.
## The people Tabsheer and I talked to would speak only on the condition of anonymity, and they all said a version of the same thing: Saïd was powerful and dangerous.
The following morning, I returned to Saïds *hawala*. As expected he wasnt there, but the shop was open and there was a steady stream of customers. The nephew was working the counter. He stared at me with narrow, glassy eyes and kept repeating the same thing: It was sad what happened to these women, but his uncle was a good man, respected in the neighborhood, with two wives and many children back home. Saïd wasnt the type of man who would hurt anyone. He was religious.
Tabsheer and I stayed for about an hour, leaning against the scratchy, lumpy bags of rice. At one point Tabsheer called Saïd on the phone—wed gotten his number from Mohammed. “I dont need to say anything to that woman,” Saïd said. “Shes a journalist, not the police.” He was right. The trip to Istanbul had cast the limitations of my field into sharp relief. I didnt have the authority to compel Saïd to talk; only law enforcement did.
When Tabsheer and I left the shop, we crisscrossed Zeytinburnu to find people to speak with. It was a mirror image of the beginning of my trip, but instead of showing strangers pictures of Fahima and her daughters, I showed them a Facebook photo Id found of Saïd dressed in a white *shalwar kameez* and standing in front of the casbah in Mecca. This time we got the same answer again and again: *Yes*. Nearly everyone we met knew who Saïd was. Mohammed had been right about his stature in the community.
The people Tabsheer and I talked to would speak only on the condition of anonymity, and they all said a version of the same thing: Saïd was powerful and dangerous. He employed a number of men to run his smuggling operation, which passed people through Evros. No one would confirm his relationship with Fahima and her daughters.
Back in Athens, I was asked to give another deposition to the police; it would be submitted to the judge in Evros who would oversee the murder case, whatever shape it eventually took. I told the police what Id learned about Saïd. It felt like a moral imperative. Ostensibly, the police could share my information with their Turkish counterparts, who could investigate him. There was also a sense of urgency: By September 2021, the Taliban had taken over Afghanistan, and cooperation with many foreign governments had ground to a halt. If Saïd fled to his home country, he would be all but impossible to find.
Thats exactly what happened. Before the Turkish police could get involved, Mohammed, whom I was still in contact with, told me that Saïd had left Istanbul. With Saïd in the wind, the murder investigation once again ran aground.
Then one day in March 2022, I received a phone call. Mirajuddin Osman had been apprehended and was being held at a prison in northeastern Greece. He wasnt the last puzzle piece in the case—I was coming to accept that I might never find them all—but he was a crucial one. I sent a request for an interview.
![](https://magazine.atavist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/Honor_Illo4.jpg?is-pending-load=1)
Abdul at the graves of his wife and daughters.
The police investigating the murders should have found Osman earlier—or, more accurately, they should have realized when they first had him in custody. Osman left Turkey in December 2020. A smuggler had promised to take him to Bulgaria, but something went wrong and he entered Europe the same way Fahima, Farzana, and Rabiya did two years prior: over the Evros River. Osman made it to Thessaloniki.
Its routine in Greece for police to stop foreign-looking people and ask to see identity papers and asylum cards. Those who cant produce them—and occasionally even those who can—are arrested and may be sent to Turkey. Whether a person gets into trouble with the authorities is a matter of that most cruel mistress, luck. Some people have it, others dont.
For a while, Osman had it. Then one day he didnt. He was held in a jail in northern Greece, where his fingerprints and mugshot were taken. It could have been a huge break in the murder case, but due to disorganization among the branches of Hellenic law enforcement, the police in Athens had no idea that their person of interest was languishing in a cell a few hours north. After five days, Osman was released. By the time the Athens police learned that hed been arrested, he was long gone, absorbed into the underworld that so many migrants pass through. It would be another year before investigators managed to track him down, in Germany. When they did, they extradited him to Greece.
When I met him in March 2022, Osman was incarcerated at a squat yellow prison in Komotini, a small town about an hour from the Turkish border. Komotini has a sizable Muslim population, a demographic relic of the Ottoman Empire. Today it holds the dubious distinction of being one of the poorest and most marginalized places in Greece.
I was shocked by how little Osman resembled the man in the photos I had been looking at for three years. The only thing remaining of his youth was his hairline, still defiantly thick and straight across his forehead. The ordeals of a hard life had been etched into his face and had hardened his gaze. Though he was in his early twenties, he could have passed for forty.
I pressed the plastic phone receiver to my ear and listened to Osman, separated from me by a smudged sheet of glass, tell his side of the story. When hed first met Fahima, he was barely out of his teens. It happened shortly after she arrived in Istanbul, and the circumstances were surprisingly wholesome: Osmans mother, who also lived in the city, was very distantly connected to Fahimas family back in Mazar-i-Sharif. The first time Osman saw Fahima, she was sitting on his mothers couch, surrounded by all five of her children and her husband. None of those dependents registered as obstacles for Osman. In his eyes, Fahima must have burned as brightly as the Madonna.
Osman became a devout believer, worshipping daily at the altar of his beloved. “It was my first time falling in love,” he said with a thin smile. “Whatever Fahima said, I did without question.” Soon he was spending every free moment he had with Fahima and her two daughters, dedicating the little money he earned working seven days a week on a construction site to small presents and social outings. He felt drawn to Fahima: She was beautiful, sure, but he was particularly attracted to her fierce personality. She was proud, and she knew what she wanted. It was seductive.
By his account, Fahima kept him at arms length when it came to decisions in her life. Like Mohammed, Osman told me that Rabiya and Saïd had married, but that he only learned of their engagement on the day of the wedding—Fahima had kept him in the dark until then. The wedding was a proper, quiet celebration, with a mullah reciting words from the Quran. Afterward Rabiya, along with her mother and sister, moved into Saïds apartment in Zeytinburnu.
Osman claimed that Fahima never told him that she wanted to end the couples marriage. He didnt recall discord of any kind—the couple, he told me, were “fine.” When Saïd was away visiting his other wives, Osman would stay over at the house. “He was always good to me,” Osman said of Saïd.
Near the end of a workday in October 2018, Osman received a call from Fahima. “Were leaving for Europe. Tonight,” she told him. She meant that he would be coming, too. Ever pliant to her wishes, Osman went to the supermarket, where he picked up a few things to sustain them on the journey: a roast chicken, some hard cheese, a loaf of bread. Like most migrants, they would leave the bulk of their possessions behind.
In Zeytinburnu, he met up with Fahima, Rabiya, and Farzana, and they bundled into a car along with Saïd and three of his associates, including the nephew I had met in Istanbul. The mood was light, Osman recalled. Saïd and his men spoke Pashto, a language Osman was not fluent in, so he focused his attention on the women. The three of them were giddy. After several attempts to cross into Europe, they were finally doing it—they were sure the trip would be a success.
Saïd wouldnt be coming with them; he would take them only as far as the border. Why would a powerful man smuggle his teenage bride into Europe rather than keep her close by? Did this ring as odd to anyone in the group? If so, Osman didnt indicate it as he told me his story.
Saïds years as a trafficker proved useful: The group wasnt stopped by the police driving out of Istanbul, and three hours later they managed to evade detection by Turkish border control. Saïd parked the car in a well-hidden spot, and everyone climbed out. It was dark and cold, with only the thin moonlight to guide them. After walking some distance, they reached the Evros River, where a small inflatable boat was waiting for them. Saïd and the smugglers sat on one side, the women and Osman on the other. The lighthearted atmosphere from the car gave way to solemnity.
Once across the river they exited the boat, their feet sinking into the muddy bank. Fahima, Farzana, and Rabiya walked in front of Osman, Saïd, and the rest of the men. They continued for twenty minutes, in an area dotted with watchtowers and crawling with police and patrol cars. The danger of what they were doing must have weighed heavily with each sodden step.
Saïd knew how to remain undetected; he directed everyone through the forest, and the group never met with trouble. Eventually, they reached Nikos Papachatzidiss fields. Osman claimed that only then did the situation shift—only then did he and the women realize that the real danger came from the smugglers.
The men stopped and opened a backpack that one of them was carrying. Inside were two black-handled knives and rope. The smugglers pulled out the weapons and first used them as a menacing tool to keep the women and Osman in line. According to Osman, the men bound Rabiyas and Fahimas hands behind their backs, while he was tied up with Farzana. If the smugglers explained what was happening and why, Osman didnt recall it. “I dont know what happened with Saïd that would have made him do this,” he told me.
Saïd pulled Fahima away first, Osman said, dragging her several yards before cutting her throat. He then reached into her jacket and pulled out 2,400 euros, money Fahima had diligently saved to start a new life. Osman said he saw the flash of a knife as it sliced first across Rabiyas olive neck, then Farzanas. The women screamed, desperate animal cries that reverberated through the forest, until they couldnt any longer. No one heard them: The solitariness that had been a source of relief just moments before was now sinister, devastating.
“I was saying my last words,” Osman told me, “because I thought I was going to die.”
But he didnt.
“Why didnt Saïd kill you, too?” I asked.
Osman contemplated the question before answering. Saïd spared his life because the exhaustion of killing the three women was too much, he said finally.
It was far-fetched, like so much of Osmans story seemed to be, especially since three of Saids henchmen were there. Surely, he could have ordered one of them to kill a witness to his crimes. Osman rubbed his forehead, thinking. Saïds nephew wanted to kill him, he eventually said, but Saïd overruled him.
In Osmans telling, he walked back to the boat with the other men. Saïd told him to keep his mouth shut or he would meet the same fate as Fahima and her daughters. The intimidation continued once they were back in Istanbul, Osman claimed, which is what prompted him to flee to Europe.
Osman insisted that he had nothing to do with the crime—“Im innocent,” he said more than once in our conversation. Still, he said that he felt responsible for Fahimas death. “Nobody spoke against Saïd,” Osman told me. “He was too powerful, and if I had said anything he would have killed me. But I blame myself for not going to the police.”
A guard rapped on the door and shouted brusquely in Greek. My allotted interview time—a little over an hour—was over. I was ushered out of the prison. As I blinked against the strong afternoon sun, I considered everything Osman had told me, and everything he hadnt. His story was riddled with holes, but it was unclear what was pouring out of them: guilt, cowardice, or something more ominous?
Whether Osman played a role in the killings or was only a bystander as he claimed, the motive for the crime remained unclear. Assuming that Saïd was the perpetrator, I ran through possible scenarios. Rabiyas autopsy indicated that she probably hadnt had sex—had she refused to consummate the marriage, angering Saïd? Maybe Rabiya begged her mother to free her from a marriage she didnt want, and Fahima relented: They would go to Europe and never look back. Still, theyd need Saïds help to get across the border. Maybe they assured him that, once in Europe, Rabiya would remain faithful, and that he could visit her like he did his other wives. Saïd, being no fool, would have suspected the truth: that Rabiya had no plans to see him again. Maybe hed read the texts on the womens shared phone in which Rabiya told a friend that she didnt want to be with him, or overheard Fahima talking to Hadila about ending the relationship.
Whatever the case, its possible that Rabiyas desire for a new life in Europe allowed Saïd to devise a plan to enact revenge in a place where he knew hed get away with it—in a foreign country where migrants bodies turn up all the time, where he could slip back across the border with ease. It was an elaborate murder plot, but not an implausible one.
Or maybe the killings were more spontaneous. Perhaps the women said or did something after crossing the Evros River that their smugglers deemed a murderable offense. There were plenty of other scenarios that might fit into the blurry outlines of the truth Id managed to piece together. Clarity was just out of reach, and the only people who could provide it were either unwilling, on the run, or dead.
## The odds of solving the murders of three migrant women committed along one of the worlds most fraught borders were impossibly long. Tsirigoti went looking for a needle in a geopolitical haystack. So did I.
As of this writing, Osman is being held in pretrial detention on suspicion of being involved in the murders. According to Greek law, an investigating judge (who declined to provide information for this story) is preparing the case against him. Its likely to go to trial next year. But even if Osman is convicted, justice will feel at best like a half measure.
According to a police source, a Greek arrest warrant has been issued for Saïd; an international arrest warrant through Interpol is pending. Mohammed told me that since I encountered Saïd in August 2021, he had returned to Turkey on at least two occasions. If only the Greek and Turkish police would cooperate. If only someone would find Saïd and question him, or do the same with the nephew I met at the *hawala*, the one Osman claimed was present during the murders. If only a key thread in the womens story hadnt been left frayed and dangling.
Its a reporters job, of course, to manage such threads, and when necessary to learn to live with them. This is never more true than when telling stories about the murk and the ripple effects of conflict. As Zacharoula Tsirigoti knew when she embarked on her investigation, the odds of solving the murders of three migrant women committed along one of the worlds most fraught borders were impossibly long. She went looking for a needle in a geopolitical haystack. So did I. Perhaps disappointment, to one degree or another, was always where this story was going to end.
But there are threads—many, in fact—that have been woven into place in the more than four years since the womens deaths. Together they reveal three lives shaped in part by circumstances beyond any one persons control. Three lives that, in spite of everything, were lived with love, hope, and resilience. Lives cut short on the edge of Europe, like more than 25,000 others in the past decade. Lives that, unlike so many of the fellow dead, can be known, remembered, and honored.
Outside of Alexandroupoli, theres a small cemetery for migrants who made it to Europe only to die. Its located on a plot of land that belongs to a Greek Orthodox church, though most of the people buried there spent their lives praying to a different god than the one worshipped by the churchs congregants. Bodies found at the bottom of the Evros River, in crushed cars on the highway to Thessaloniki, or frozen in farmers fields are interred under mounds of dirt topped with simple tombstones, each engraved with a unique serial number. All of the dead here are unidentified, save three. In the middle of the plot are a series of graves with names carved clearly into stone.
*Fahima. Rabiya.* *Farzana.*
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# A New Doorway to the Brain
The brains lifeline, its network of blood vessels, is like a tree, says Mathieu Pernot, deputy director of the Physics for Medicine Paris Lab. The trunk begins in the neck with the carotid arteries, a pair of broad channels that then split into branches that climb into the various lobes of the brain. These channels fork endlessly into a web of tiny vessels that form a kind of canopy. The narrowest of these vessels are only wide enough for a single red blood cell to pass through, and in one important sense these vessels are akin to the trees leaves.
“When you want to look at pathology, usually you dont see the sickness in the tree, but in the leaves,” Pernot says. (You can identify Dutch Elm Disease when the trees leaves yellow and wilt.) Just like leaves, the tiniest blood vessels in the brain often register changes in neuron and synapse activity first, including illness, such as new growth in a cancerous brain tumor.1, 2 But only in the past decade or so have we developed the technology to detect these microscopic changes in blood flow: Its called ultrafast ultrasound.
> The images show activity in deep regions of the brain where past imaging couldnt reach.
Standard ultrasound is already popular in clinical imaging given that it is minimally invasive, low-cost, portable, and can generate images in real time.3 But until now, it has rarely been used to image the brain. Thats partly because the skull gets in the way—bone tends to scatter ultrasound waves—and the technology is too slow to detect blood flow in the smaller arteries that support most brain function. Neurologists have mostly used it in niche applications: to examine newborns, whose skulls have gaps between the bone plates, or to guide surgeons in some brain surgeries, where part of the skull is typically removed. Neuroscience researchers have also used it to study functional differences between the two hemispheres of the brain, based on imaging of the major cerebral arteries, by positioning the device over the temporal bone window, the thinnest area of the skull.
But ultrafast ultrasound is exponentially faster, more powerful, and more spatially sensitive than standard ultrasound: It can produce many thousands of detailed high-resolution images per second.3 If conventional ultrasound is like peeking through a keyhole, ultrafast ultrasound “opens the whole door,” says Peifeng Song, who researches ultrasound techniques at the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign. Neuroscientists say it could not only help doctors make much earlier diagnoses of debilitating brain diseases, such as brain cancer or Alzheimers, but could also aid neuroscientists working with animal models in solving major research questions and accelerate the development of non-invasive brain-machine interfaces, such as robotic limbs.
“If you talk about neuroscience and how the brain works, theres a lot of unknowns,” Song says. “Its the wild west.” Ultrafast ultrasound could trace brain signaling with great precision, documenting how circuits and groups of cells interact as the brain performs functions from perception to decision-making.
Functional ultrasound imaging works by the process of echolocation, the same process bats use to navigate. Too high pitched for humans to hear, ultrasound waves collide with tissues or cells in the body and reflect out. Their echoes can then be captured and used to calculate the locations and velocities of blood cells. The frequencies of the returning ultrasound waves reveal where blood is flowing, supplying oxygen and glucose to brain regions that are working especially hard, or conversely, which parts of the brain are not receiving the blood and nutrients they need. These images allow researchers and clinicians to get a sense of what parts of the brain are active—for example, regions responsible for decision-making—or which ones might be at risk of damage.4
In the last decade or so, advances in computer processing power have allowed researchers to transform ultrasound technology. Instead of emitting individual beams, these newer ultrasound systems send out a series of plane waves—an array of ultrasound beams that together form a plane—that hit their target at different angles. The resulting images are composites that are multiple orders of magnitude sharper than conventional ultrasound, MRI, or CT scans, without the trade-offs faced by other imaging methods. MRI machines, for example, demand hugely powerful and expensive magnets to improve their resolution.5 The new forms of ultrasound can also work up to 100 times faster than conventional ultrasound tools, which is especially useful during medical emergencies, when time is of the essence. Such speeds allow ultrasound to track seizures as they happen, Pernot says.
“Even just a few years ago, that type of data throughput would have just been mountainous,” says Sumner Norman, a postdoc at Caltech. “So you wouldnt have been able to do much with it.” But as computer capacity caught up with the demand, ultrafast ultrasound became more feasible. In Songs lab, their 3-D ultrasound imaging requires around 10 terabytes of data to fully image the brain of each lab animal in 3-D—the same amount it would take to stream Netflix in standard definition for 10,000 hours.
![](https://assets.nautil.us/sites/3/nautilus/D7ZuA8xq-Renken_BREAKER.png?auto=compress&fm=png&ixlib=php-3.3.1)
**Bubbles in the Brain:** Ultrasound localization microscopy takes high resolution images of blood flow in the brain by bouncing ultrasound waves off of microscopic gas bubbles injected into the blood. *Credit: Junjie Yaos lab at Duke University.*
Now that researchers have the computing power to create such high-speed, fine-grained images, they can also track the movement of cells over time. [Research](https://www.nature.com/articles/s41592-022-01549-5) published in August by the lab of Mickael Tanter of PSL Research University in France depicted activity throughout the rat brain at a microscopic level.6 The images show activity in deep regions of the brain where light-based imaging cant reach, and in stunning detail—much finer resolution than an MRI or CT scan. The pictures showed activity from second to second down to a scale of a few thousands of a millimeter.
In humans, ultrasound researchers are finding creative ways to work around the impediment of the skull. Fabienne Perren at the University of Geneva and colleagues, including Tanter, used a [contrast agent](https://neurocenter-unige.ch/humain-brain-vascularisation-revealed-by-ultrafast-ultrasounds-at-a-microscopic-level-for-the-first-time/)—microbubbles of gas injected into patients blood.7 Some waves still collide with the skull and scatter, but the ones that make it through are more likely to reflect back out when they bounce off the bubbles. Where a CT scan showed only a blob, ultrasound imaging allowed the team to zoom in until they could pinpoint the turbulence inside a bulging blood vessel. Tanters lab has also sent ultrasound signals through the gaps between newborns skull plates to record [brain activity during seizures and sleep](https://www.science.org/doi/full/10.1126/scitranslmed.aah6756).8
Scientists can also remove a small piece of the skull to facilitate working with ultrasound. Working with monkeys, Norman and his colleagues replaced a domino-sized piece of the skull with an ultrasound device. The images of activity in a part of the brain that plans movement revealed when a monkey intended to move an arm. In fact, they could predict the direction of the movement [about 89 percent of the time](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0896627321001513?dgcid=coauthor).9 This is comparable to methods that implant electrodes in the scalp, which have been reported to accurately predict direction of movement roughly 70 to 90 percent of the time.
> You cant wheel an MRI machine onto a battlefield. But you can take a handheld device.
But ultrasound imaging does a better job detecting activity deep within the brain, which is harder for electrodes on the scalp to detect. Electrodes are also far more invasive and can cause tissue damage. And the rapidly accelerating capacities of ultrasound will bring improvements, researchers expect. These findings were published last year in *Neuron* and could pave the way for robotic limbs that translate thought into action: Ultrasound imaging could read brain activity, revealing how a person wants to move their hand to the left, and that data could be fed into a computer that controls a robotic arm, for instance. “Were already moving toward humans,” Norman says.
Ultrafast ultrasound could also assist surgeons, who often remove pieces of bone before operating anyway. Zin Khaing, an assistant professor of neurological surgery at the University of Washington, is [now testing](https://reporter.nih.gov/search/Woq41Wvmu0mJxWqTQ3QCog/project-details/10179815) enhanced ultrasound on spinal surgery patients. “If I were to get injured today,” she says, “you would do a CT or an X-ray.” Perhaps an MRI, too. But these only produce anatomical images. “It just shows you where all the bits and pieces are, and whats squishing onto your soft spinal cord tissue,” Khaing says. Imaging that tracks blood flow is not part of the protocol.
In her pilot clinical trial, ultrafast ultrasound is used in the operating room so doctors can follow the movement of blood. Zhaing is aiming to map what tissue still has blood flow, so that doctors can know what will be salvageable, and what areas are still swollen—perhaps where the surgeon should relieve pressure. She hopes ultrasound could guide surgery even in geographies with fewer resources. “You cant wheel an MRI machine to a war situation, right? But you can have a handheld ultrasound device,” she says. Plus, she imagines ultrasound technology thats even easier to use than a probe: something more like a bandaid. MIT researchers have already developed [thin ultrasound stickers](https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/science.abo2542) that can monitor organs over time without a doctor holding an ultrasound wand.10
At the Physics for Medicine Paris Lab, Pernot is hopeful that scientists will be able to correct for the skulls effects on ultrasound waves. In the same way that researchers can compensate for a flaw in the lens of a telescope, they could also use an algorithm to adjust for the way the skull scatters ultrasound signals, he says. X-rays that map the exact geometry of a skull can guide a model of exactly how the skull distorts ultrasound waves, says Junjie Yao, a researcher at Duke who develops technology that uses both ultrasound and light-based imaging. And that model can be used to correct ultrasound images so they appear undistorted, as though there werent any skull there at all. “I wouldnt say its impossible to overcome the hurdle of the skull, but it will be an engineering challenge,” Yao adds.
Ultrasound imaging is still evolving rapidly. “New ideas are popping up every day,” Yao says. Norman was impressed by how quickly his work progressed—in only a few years, he moved from small animal tests to large animal experiments and showed the potential of ultrasound to read brain activity that could feed into a computer.9 “It was incredible how quickly it moved. Usually when you start a new technology, youre in for a decades-long slog to make it work,” he says. But when computer processing accelerated, the benefits of ultrafast ultrasound became clear. Now researchers can follow rivulets of blood deep into the brain. “We are going to have an imaging technique to go into another world,” Tanter says. ![](https://assets.nautil.us/sites/3/nautilus/nautilus-favicon-14.png?fm=png)
*Research into the use of contrast agents in ultrafast ultrasound by Fabienne Perren is funded by the Bertarelli Foundation.*
*Lead image: Paul Craft / Shutterstock*
**References**
1\. Guyon, J., Chapouly, C., Andrique, L., Bikfalvi, A., & Daubon, T. The normal and brain tumor vasculature: Morphological and functional characteristics and therapeutic targeting. *Frontiers in Physiology* **12**, 622615 (2021).
2\. Baloyannis, S. Brain capillaries in Alzheimers disease. *Hellenic Journal of Nuclear Medicine* **1:152** (2015).
3\. Deffieux, T., Demené, C., & Tanter, M. Functional ultrasound imaging: A new imaging modality for neuroscience. *Neuroscience* **474**, 110-121 (2021).
4\. Montaldo, G., Urban, A., & Macé, E. Functional ultrasound neuroimaging. *Annual Review of Neuroscience* **45**, 491-513 (2022).
5\. Nowogrodzki, A. The worlds strongest MRI machines are pushing human imaging to new limits. *Nature* (2018).
6\. Renaudin, N., *et al.* Functional ultrasound localization microscopy reveals brain-wide neurovascular activity on a microscopic scale. *Nature Methods* **19**, 1004-1012 (2022).
7\. Demené, C., *et al.* Transcranial ultrafast ultrasound localization microscopy of brain vasculature in patients. *Nature Biomedical Engineering* **5**, 219-228 (2021).
8\. Demené, C., *et al.* Functional ultrasound imaging of brain activity in human newborns. *Science Translational Medicine* **9** (2017).
9\. Norman, S.L., *et al.* Single-trial decoding of movement intentions using functional ultrasound neuroimaging. *Neuron* **109**, 1554-1566 (2021).
10\. Wang, C., *et al.* Bioadhesive ultrasound for long-term continuous imaging of diverse organs. *Science* **377**, 517-523 (2022).
- ###### Elena Renken
Posted on October 11, 2022
Elena Renken is a science reporter focusing on the brain and medicine. Her work has been published by NPR, *Quanta Magazine*, and PBS NOVA.
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# A Passage to Parenthood
The donors all seemed decent in a very calm way. Almost all explained that they had known someone who had struggled with infertility and that they wanted to give couples the opportunity to have a family. A social worker we consulted told us that donors tend to be in the caring professions. My wife had volunteered in orphanages in Romania, and I had known the aides who had come into my parents home to help with my brother. The egg donors seemed similar to women we both admired. The young woman my wife and I ultimately selected had been the valedictorian of her high school and had volunteered in a nicu as a baby cuddler. I gave the fertility clinic a deposit.
As soon as I paid the deposit, I began having dreams in which I had cancer and was going to die. In these dreams, a baby existed, and, even in my sleep, my first worry on learning that I was going to die was for Christine and the baby. When I woke up, I retained the sense that I was not as important as they were, that my life was simply a sum of money that was there to be spent on my family. I dont think of myself as particularly self-sacrificing. It was strange to be responding in a way that seemed so out of character.
Christine had similar dreams of dying. She would wake me in the middle of the night and tell me that she was worried about how I would take care of the child if she passed. I responded that I was going to drop off the child at the nearest fire station.
When I told my mother my joke, she said, “Give me the baby. I will raise it.” She said this immediately, and it was the first time I had heard her speak so forcefully about the child.
During winter break, my wife and I drove to New Jersey to stay with my parents. The goal was to use their house as a base for our appointments at the fertility clinic. Thus started the injections. Every two days, I knelt beside my wife and injected her in the hip. The low table covered with syringes in our bedroom reminded me of the syringes in my brothers room, the rubbing alcohol, the antiseptic gauze. I was choosing to spend tens of thousands of dollars so we could try to have a baby, but the feelings I had were the old familiar ones of not having a choice, of being in a situation that had been forced on me. At this time, the hormones were making Christine emotional. She would begin crying if the bed was unmade. The sense of emotions being out of scale also reminded me of my childhood, how my mother would call me selfish and worthless for wanting to watch TV instead of reading to my brother.
Once a week, we drove to Connecticut to see the fertility doctor. At the clinic, whose walls were covered with photos of children, I sat in the waiting room as my wife was taken to be examined. During these appointments, and in our bedroom when I knelt beside her and injected her, I felt embarrassed at how much she was doing and how little I could do.
Contemplating the reality of a child made me feel that the passage of time was also real, that death was not theoretical. My mother prays several times a day. Her afternoon prayers are performed in the living room, where she sits on a sofa and rocks slightly as she chants, while reading from various pamphlets. I heard her praying one afternoon, and I went and sat on a nearby sofa. My mother is seventy-nine and has had health problems. Her voice is thin, and her shiny black hair only makes her look more fragile. As I watched her, I understood that she would probably die in five or six years. My normal response to emotion is to veer away from it. I wanted to interrupt my mother and ask what we would have for dinner. Instead, I sat and watched and listened. I became sadder and sadder. She finished chanting and brought the pamphlets to her forehead, as a sign of respect to God.
We received seventeen eggs from our donor in the cycle that we had paid for. To provide sperm, I went into a bathroom with a vial and my cell phone. All seventeen eggs were fertilized. Of the four embryos that survived to the blastocyst stage, only two were genetically normal. One was male and the other female.
Neither my wife nor I wanted the responsibility of picking. To select one would be to not select the other, and who were we to deprive this potential being of the right to move around in the world and experience lifes joys?
All our fantasies had been of having a male child. Now that we actually had to decide, I didnt want a boy. I tried to imagine the reality of a son, and I felt toward him the impatience that I feel toward myself. My wife had helped raise two nieces and a nephew. She felt that she might be a better mother to a girl than to a boy.
Two weeks after the female embryo was implanted, my wife was sitting in our bedroom at my parents house when her phone rang. It was the doctors office saying that the hormone tests showed she was pregnant. I had been out getting gas when the call came. When I entered our bedroom, she got up and hugged me. “Were pregnant,” she said.
[](https://www.newyorker.com/cartoon/a24967)
“I saw no shadow . . . only my demons . . .”
Cartoon by Mads Horwath
I couldnt quite believe it. What did this mean? Despite all that we had done to reach this moment, the news seemed impossible.
“Are you happy?” Christine asked.
“It feels strange.”
We went to find my parents. My mother was in the living room watching “The Great British Baking Show.”
Christine and I sat down on a sofa at a right angle to her.
“Mummy, the news came.”
My mother looked at us silently. She knew that we had been waiting to hear about the hormone tests.
“Christine is pregnant.”
My mother remained silent.
“What are you thinking?” I asked.
“It feels like a shove,” she said. By this, I later learned, she meant a shock.
My father came in. He looked at us and sensed that there might be news. He immediately turned around to leave the room. My father likes to keep the world at a distance and thus tries to get family news filtered through my mother.
“Sit,” I scolded and pointed to the place on the sofa next to my mother. He sat down. My mother sidled up next to him.
“Christine is pregnant.”
My father looked at his swollen, arthritic hands.
“What do you think?”
“What can I?” he answered.
A few minutes later, Christine and I left the room. My parents bodies were pressed together. I had seen them do this only when they were very happy.
And, after this, my parents became very loving toward Christine. Every day, the four of us played ludo, and my father began wanting to let Christine win.
Christine and I returned to North Carolina. There, we started to develop stories about the daughter we were going to have. It was strange to imagine stories for her. Each time we did, we felt we were being disloyal to Suzuki Noguchi. We also felt a sense of loss at letting him go. I had not realized until then that I had begun to love this child we had invented.
Because I am culturally Hindu and reincarnation is part of this culture, it seemed reasonable to me to imagine that our daughter already existed but was in Heaven, waiting to come down. In our stories, our child was in her thirties. She told us about the people she hung out with in Heaven: “Abraham Lincoln is always hitting on me. I tell him, You are the Great Emancipator, but youre a married man.’ ” Whenever we talked about what our daughter, whom we named Ziggy, for “zygote,” would enjoy about our house—the birds, the squirrels—Ziggy one-upped us: “I have dinosaurs in my back yard.” Like Suzuki Noguchi, Ziggy had a strong mocking personality. She complained about all the Christian martyrs in Heaven: “Never have a martyr over for dinner. Their stigmata start bleeding and your napkins are ruined.” She also had Suzukis covetousness. “Do you really need to spend so much money on yourself? Buy some Amazon shares for me.” But, whereas Suzuki Noguchi had been a criminal, Ziggy abided by the law. The fact that women live a life of greater physical risk than men shaped how our imaginations treated her. As did the awareness that our daughter was going to be a woman of color.
The prospect of having a daughter made me realize how little I knew about the experience of women. I began reading biographies of female scientists and politicians. Books on violence against women. Books about how to help young women develop a healthy relationship to their own sexuality. Every time I read news about a strong woman, I began imagining Ziggy like her. I looked up Janet Yellens educational history and thought how wonderful it would be if Ziggy ran a major central bank. I called an economist I know who teaches at Princeton and asked him what it would take for Ziggy to run the Federal Reserve. “Are you joking?” he asked. To me, my question seemed quite reasonable: somebody has to run the Fed; why shouldnt it be my daughter?
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# A Search for Family, a Love for Horses and How It All Led to Kentucky Derby Glory
Herbie Reed has been fishing, and the catch was plentiful. The 75-year-old pulled in about 30 crappie from a nearby honey hole, a continuation of his familys recent run of good fortune. It is late afternoon, and he has poured himself a Woodford Reserve on the rocks and sits down at his dining room table with his shirt unbuttoned to his belly, ready to explain how he arrived at this impossibly blissful moment in time.
“I came up by myself,” he starts.
Unwanted and uneducated, Herbert Ray Reed says he walked out of an Appalachian hollow as a child in the 1950s and never went back. His mother had died when he was 5 years old, and the family structure unraveled after that. Hitching a predawn ride on a cattle truck at 9 years old led him away from dark times in Pecks Creek Hollow in rural Powell County to this town of Versailles, where he showed up unannounced at his aunts house. “My God, honey,” he recalls her saying to him. “How did you get here?”
![Pat McDonogh/Courier Journal/USA TODAY Network](https://www.si.com/.image/t_share/MTg5NTU2ODMxOTMxNDEwMDA0/dcovrichstrikelo.jpg)
*Pat McDonogh/Courier Journal/USA TODAY Network*
She was one of about a dozen people who took him in at varying points in a chaotic childhood. After settling in this bluegrass region of Kentucky, Herbie lied about his age to get a job riding racehorses. He was 14. He wasnt a feral child, but in many ways Reed was raised by horses. They gave him an occupation, an outlet, an opportunity to be somebody. Horses became a generational family business—a source of revenue and pride and profound heartache, as well.
Eleven days ago, one horse raised the Reed name to the highest level of the equine game. Rich Strike, trained by Herbies son, Eric, [won the Kentucky Derby in breathtaking fashion](https://www.si.com/horse-racing/2022/05/08/in-result-no-one-saw-coming-rich-strikes-kentucky-derby-win-helps-redeem-racing)—with a spectacular late charge down the stretch to collar favored Epicenter before the wire at outrageous odds of 801. It was the second-biggest upset in the 148-year history of Americas oldest continuous sporting event.
Eric had Herbie join him at the post-race press conference, even though he had no direct involvement in training Rich Strike. Along with owner Rick Dawson and jockey Sonny Leon, they were such big-race novices that they had to be told to sit down for the interview. Then, Herbie and Eric informed the world about their bond, until there were tears shed in the room and from the podium.
“Hes been going to the track with me since he was 6 years old, and thats no bull,” Herbie said that evening at Churchill Downs. “He would go every day, and when he was 8, he could put a spider bandage on a horse, and most people dont even know what it is anymore.
“He said, I know what I want to do. Im not going to college; Im going to train horses. And if you find something you love to do, you never work. He found something he loved to do, and hes good at it, and Im as proud as I can be of him.”
Why did young Eric Reed tag along with Herbie to the barns in the morning?
“It wasnt so much the horses early on,” Eric says. “I idolized my dad. Thats why I did it.”
Less than 72 hours after that life-altering two minutes in Louisville, Rich Strike is in repose in his stall at Eric Reeds Mercury Equine Center outside Lexington. The shedrow is quiet, and there is nothing to mark the presence of nascent racing royalty. When Reed approaches, “Ritchie” comes to the stall gate and cranes his neck out, softly trying to playfully bite his hand. The trainer laughs and dodges, patting the chestnut colts nose.
This is Reeds 15 minutes of fame, but he happily steers a reporter toward his dads life story—“It could be a Hollywood movie,” he says. Right then and there, standing in the barn where Rich Strike resides, Eric answers a request to interview Herbie by suggesting an immediate road trip. He abruptly jumps in his Chevy Tahoe—with the rusted sideboard and three fishing rods in the back—and heads toward the exit of the farm. He apologetically brushes off a TV reporter waiting for him at the front gate and drives 40 minutes west to meet with Herbie.
![Rich Strike will skip the Preakness, but he could still race in the Belmont Stakes on June 11.](https://www.si.com/.image/t_share/MTg5NTUyNjQ1MTQzMjc1MDQx/ap_22123016324055.jpg)
*Rich Strike will skip the Preakness, but he could still race in the Belmont Stakes on June 11.*
Evers/Eclipse Sportswire/CSM/AP
Father and son share a large parcel of land off a narrow strip of blacktop outside Versailles, their houses just a few yards apart. One is something of a luxury log cabin. The other is more modern and serves as a part-time bed and breakfast (“Rabbit Creek”). The two men frequently fish and talk horses together, just as they have for decades.
“Everybody loved him,” Eric says of Herbies training days. “He was happy, and people would come to him all the time with questions: *Herbie, help me, I cant figure this horse out.* It was like he was a guru or something. I remember all the admiration for him. I kept thinking, Man, thats what I want. I want people to think of me that way.’”
Scroll to Continue
## SI Recommends
The horse racing world is split on how to think of Eric Reed today. Some are disappointed—even angry—that he made the rare and controversial decision [not to race the Kentucky Derby winner this Saturday in the Preakness](https://www.si.com/horse-racing/2022/05/12/kentucky-derby-winner-rich-strike-skips-preakness-no-triple-crown), the second leg of the Triple Crown. Others are lauding his resistance to public pressure, instead choosing whats best for Rich Strike and what adheres to his own training philosophy.
Rich Strike isnt at Pimlico Race Course but still looms as the dominant story line in Baltimore this week. He is the horse who shocked the world twice, first in victory and now in absentia. As such, its worth remembering where the Reeds came from—specifically, a place where the Triple Crown isnt even a daydream, much less a consideration. A place where the gift of a big-time horse is to be protected like a Ming vase.
“You know, if you run the Preakness youve blown the Belmont,” Herbie says. “That looks like where \[Rich Strike\] wants to go; a mile and a half \[the Belmont distance\] is right up his alley. You hate to \[skip the Preakness\], but like Eric said, I aint got but one good horse; I gotta take care of it. Hes got to do whats best for the horse.”
That horseman mantra was handed down from father to son, and its why sharing that inconceivable Derby moment with Herbie was the true reward for Eric Reed. He made a lot of money and gained a lot of fame on the first Saturday in May, and felt some validation after working on the margins of the sport for so many years. But mostly Reed is leveraging this pinch-me moment to honor his father, a survivor who started a lineage of perseverance.
“You have to get lucky in life, and Ive been lucky,” Herbie says, for the moment ignoring the unlucky episodes hes also endured. “I stop and think sometimes, What the hell made me do all this? I dont know, but I had no fear in me.”
No fear led him to hitchhike around parts of Kentucky in search of something other than a home life he wont discuss in detail. “I lived in some bad-ass places,” he says.
“At that time, I hated everybody. Ill take some things to my grave, I guess, because there were people involved who arent here to defend themselves. But some bad things happened.”
No fear led to running away from whoever was caring for him multiple times, to skipping school, to giving up on education at an early age, to tattooing his initials into his forearm with a cluster of pins dipped in ink at age 12. “Id give anything in the world if I hadnt,” he says. “I hate em. It looks terrible.”
![Herbie Reed (left) and son Eric (center) celebrate their shocking Kentucky Derby win with jockey Sonny Leon.](https://www.si.com/.image/t_share/MTg5NTUyNTY3Mjk2OTkyODAx/usatsi_18225802.jpg)
Herbie Reed (left) and son Eric (center) celebrate their shocking Kentucky Derby win with jockey Sonny Leon.
Michelle Hutchins/Courier-Journal/USA TODAY Network
And no fear led him to thoroughbred racing, having seen a friend make up to $16 a day galloping horses. Fourteen-year-old Herbie Reed didnt just lie about his age when he went to the barn of prominent Kentucky trainer Doug Davis. He lied to one of Daviss assistants about his experience on horseback in asking for a job breaking yearlings. The fib became obvious to the assistant when Herbie got on the wrong side to mount the first horse they tried to put him on.
“He threw that saddle up and Im standing on the wrong side,” Herbie recalls. “He said, What are you doing? Boy, look, I know youre having a hard time, but quit that damn lying. You aint 16 and you aint never been on no damn horse.’”
Still, they gave him a chance. Herbie climbed aboard four yearlings that day and showed an immediate instinct for the job. That led to becoming an exercise rider for Davis at Keeneland Race Course and subsequent riding jobs for other trainers and breeders. During that time, Davis and other horsemen would eat lunch at a diner in Versailles after the morning work was done. One day, a friend pointed out a pretty waitress who was sweeping around their table so often that “theres going to be a hole in the damn floor.”
Thats how Herbie met Glenna, his wife since 1964. About nine months after they met, the couple decided to elope. Davis, the trainer, had been saving Herbies money for him to make sure he didnt blow it. He delivered the boy $900 and a warning when he asked for it to get married. “I think youre making a bad mistake,” Davis told him. Herbie bought a pink 53 Ford for $50, and he and Glenda ran off to Tennessee to get hitched. He was 16, but once again fudged his age to get a marriage license. They came home and hid the news from Glendas family for a while.
Scott Miller, a local horseman who would become mayor of Versailles and gave Herbie a job at a young age, convinced him he had to tell Glennas father the truth. “Go out there and be honest with this man,” recalls Stiles Miller, Scotts son. “Tell him what you did.”
Herbie did. After some immediate blowback, Glennas father eventually became a father figure to Herbie.
“Her daddy didnt want nothing to do with me,” Herbie says. “He knew how I came up. Ive got to thank her father for everything. I had that monkey on my back. When you come up like that, you just dont know how to control yourself. Her dad would take me in and wed talk. Id get so mad I wanted to kill him. He used to tell me, When you get so mad you want to hurt somebody, start counting backwards from 100 back. By the time you get to 50, you wont want to do it no more.’”
Wiser but not richer, Herbie doubled down on his efforts to make money. He was galloping horses at Keeneland Race Course in the morning, then working nights at a Texaco near the couples apartment six days a week. He was getting by on five hours of sleep a night.
“When Glenda and I started out, we didnt have a pot to pee in or one to pour it out of,” he says. “Me and her, we didnt have s---.”
Baby Eric arrived soon thereafter. Meanwhile, Herbies horse savvy earned him moves up the ladder from exercise rider to assistant trainer for some prominent Kentucky conditioners before he eventually went out on his own. [Equibase statistics show](https://www.equibase.com/profiles/allStartsPeople.cfm?eID=24614&typeSource=TE&rbt=TB&year=1977) Herbie won 73 out of 707 races from 1976 to 2011, earning total purses of $670,328. Those are modest numbers. Herbie had some success at races on the Kentucky circuit, but resisted overtures from at least one well-heeled owner to take a string of horses to race in Florida for the winter. After the upbringing he had endured, the usual nomadic trainer life held no appeal.
“I didnt know what a family was,” Herbie says. “When I got married, I couldnt ever remember anybody putting an arm around me and saying, I love you or encouraging me to do better. It just never happened. You know, you dont miss what you never had. But once I got a family and saw how important it was, you realize.”
Soon enough, young Eric Reed was joining his father at the track. He would never leave it.
![Since the Derby win, Rich Strike has spent most of his time at Mercury Equine Center outside Lexington.](https://www.si.com/.image/t_share/MTg5NTUyNzQwNDM3ODYxOTIx/usatsi_18235170.jpg)
Since the Derby win, Rich Strike has spent most of his time at Mercury Equine Center outside Lexington.
Pat McDonogh/Courier Journal/USA TODAY Network
Nearing the end of his time at Lafayette High School in Lexington, Eric told Herbie that his career plans were set. They didnt include college. Herbie didnt like what he was hearing.
“I didnt want him to do it,” Herbie says. “He was smart. He never did homework, made straight As, and I thought, Why waste that? Go to college. The one thing I regret is that I dont have an education. I made it to the ninth grade. I dont care what anybody says, when youre around educated people and you dont have one, you feel inferior. Because you cant talk on their level. One thing about college, it opens doors you cant open any other way.
“But he told everybody, Im way ahead of anybody going to college because I know what Im going to do. Im going to train horses my whole life.’”
Eric began by assisting his dad, who offered no shortcuts or favors. One frigid winter night at Latonia Race Course in Northern Kentucky (now called Turfway Park), Herbie dispatched Eric to sit outside a horses stall for hours leading up to a race, offering him a blanket and nothing else.
Eventually, Eric started out on his own, navigating the same low-stakes claiming circuit his dad had worked. When he called home once from Ellis Park in Henderson, Ky., to ask his dad for advice, this was the response: “Look, brother, I cant tell you nothing. Youre training those horses now.”
After plugging along at a modest clip for more than 15 years, Reed started to see an uptick in results in the early 2000s. More wins, more horses claimed, more purse money. The financial backing of a thoroughbred owner for whom he trained allowed him to take a big swing—buying a 60-acre property that would become Mercury Equine Center in 1985. The place had been part of fabled nearby Spendthrift Farm at one point, but had fallen into some disrepair. Reed and his wife, Kay, went to work refurbishing it.
With a ⅝-mile oval for training,160 stalls and plenty of paddock land, they built their dream farm. Within a few years, Reed was winning more races and purse money in a year than his father did in 35 years. He was a tier below the top trainers in the sport, but making a good living and enjoying his life.
Until the phone rang late one night in December 2016.
A thunderstorm had rolled through on an unseasonably warm winter night, and a lightning strike is believed to have ignited one of three horse barns on the property. What ensued was a nightmare. Jumping in the car and rushing from Versailles to the farm, Eric says he could see the glow of the fire painted against the dark sky from more than a mile away.
“It was raining sideways, pouring rain,” Reed recalls. “I told my wife, Weve lost everything.’”
It turned out not to be the case—by chance of fate, the wind from the storm was blowing the opposite direction from the way it usually blows on the farm, away from the other two barns and the house on the property. But the losses [were still horrific](https://paulickreport.com/news/the-biz/deadly-fire-hits-lexingtons-mercury-equine-center/): 23 horses died, 13 escaped.
The memories are stark and searing: one of his workers, “absolutely naked, no shoes, no underwear, running in and out and pulling horses out”; some horses exiting the barn with their ears or manes on fire; workers having to hold back Kay to keep her from running into the blaze. The fire was put out a couple of hours later and the temperature plunged in the aftermath of the storm. Reed told his staff to go home and return at first light to survey the damage and retrieve the horses that had been let loose.
“We got back here at about 7,” Reed says. “I thought the night was horrible, but then you see the bodies. … Im telling you, man, nobody deserves to see that. Thats when the worst of it hit me.”
Gutted, Reed and his attorney began the process of calling the horses owners to tell them which animals had survived and which had perished. He thought strongly about quitting the business. The voice he needed to hear most was his fathers.
[![10 SI daily cover stories](https://www.si.com/.image/t_share/MTg1MDQ4ODg3Njc1ODU2NDk0/daily-cover-promo-new-11-4-2021.jpg)](https://www.si.com/tag/daily-cover)
“About three days into it, my dad calls me,” Eric recalls. *Hey boy, you still on your feet? You got to get back to training them horses, Eric. People are paying you, and those horses need to get out of the barn. Cant nobody tell you what to do, but I am going to throw one thing at you: If you quit, them horses died for nothing.*
Gradually, Reed pulled himself and his operation back together. He dabbled in a [YouTube hunting and fishing show](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUfVYCtfx61WIy9-ZBW9_HQ) with a couple of friends, *The Bluegrass Boys Outdoor Show*. But his heart was in training horses, and with the help of friends and family he persevered.
One thing Reed did upon rebuilding the burned-down barn: He left a clearing, surrounded by white split-rail fencing, where part of the carnage had occurred. No one sets foot in there, other than to mow the grass. “This is hallowed ground,” he says. “This ground, we know what happened here and its not going to be forgotten.”
Reed was also not forgotten by his clients and others in the industry. In a business where relationships often fracture and owner second-guessing is rampant, Reed maintained good rapport with those who pay the bills. That includes St. Louis businessman Mike Schlobohm, who sent Reed the filly Resurrection Road in 2018 largely because his training fees were affordable for an entry-level owner. Five years later, Resurrection Road has [won five of 21 starts](https://www.equibase.com/profiles/Results.cfm?type=Horse&refno=10126715&registry=T&rbt=TB) and earned nearly $125,000 in purse money for a satisfied owner.
“He just always has been super good to us,” Schlobohm says. “He always wants to do whats right for the horse. He treats every horse individually, he finds the right spots for them to race, and his horsemanship eliminates a lot of vet bills.”
(Knowing what he did about how Reed operates, Schlobohm said last week, “I guarantee he does not want to run that horse in the Preakness.” The next day, Rich Strike was scratched from the race.)
Reeds business continued chugging along at a steady but unspectacular pace when he hooked up with Dawson in 2021. An oil and gas guy from Edmond, Okla., Dawson was reentering horse racing after some unspecified bad experiences that Dawson elected not to discuss. Dawson is a small player, having sent three horses to Reed before the two claimed Rich Strike for the paltry sum of $30,000 as a 2-year-old last September. The pair won a five-way “shake” for Rich Strike after he won his second career race by 17 lengths at Churchill Downs. Exciting as that was, its hardly a gateway to the Kentucky Derby.
Reed took Rich Strike back to Mercury Equine Center and began prepping him for a race at Keeneland three weeks later. Reed watches his horses morning gallops from what is essentially a combination clockers stand and office on the turn of his home training oval, a place where he keeps cans of Raid handy to fend off the omnipresent wasps. “With this, Im Clint Eastwood,” he said, holding a can of the pesticide. “Without it, Im scared of em.”
Coming off that big maiden score at Churchill, Rich Strike was sent off at 41 in the race at Keeneland on Oct. 9, but finished a dull third in an $80,000 race. It dampened some of the excitement in the group, but it did not change Reeds plan.
“I dont know another trainer in the world that would have run that horse back at a stake after that race at Keeneland,” Herbert says. “I wouldnt have seen that kind of talent in that horse. He knew he had something. After Keeneland he said, Im going to tell you, hes the best horse Ive ever trained.’”
Eric knew Rich Strike had a troubled trip at Keeneland and figured a little more racing luck would reveal the colts talent. But the day after Christmas, he finished fifth at 461 odds in a stakes race at the Fair Grounds in New Orleans—14 ½ lengths behind Epicenter. “That would have been the end for me,” Herbie says. “I would have run him for $50,000.”
Still undeterred, Eric pointed Rich Strike toward Kentucky Derby prep races in 2022 at Turfway Park, more familiar territory for Reed and Leon. The horse performed better there, finishing third twice and fourth once in stakes company, earning enough Derby qualifying points to reach the fringe of making the race. Winning was another matter entirely. Since that maiden victory in September, Rich Strike had never led another race.
![Owner Rick Dawson (right of trophy) joined forces with Eric Reed (left) in 2021.](https://www.si.com/.image/t_share/MTg5NTUyNjY5MzAyNDY2MDgx/usatsi_18225457.jpg)
Owner Rick Dawson (right of trophy) joined forces with Eric Reed (left) in 2021. 
Pat McDonogh/Courier Journal/USA TODAY Network
Rich Strike came to Churchill Downs in late April as a complete afterthought. He had one timed workout at the track, on April 27, and no one cared. It seemed unlikely he would get in the race. He was “in it for the saddle cloth,” as the saying goes, referring to the yellow fabric memento Derby horses wear with their name on it beneath their saddles when they go to the track to train in the morning.
What happened the day before the Derby became part of the instant Rich Strike lore. Seemingly shut out of the 20-horse field, a last-minute scratch cleared the way for him to enter. While the horses connections were ecstatic, the outside world yawned. No one gave the horse a chance, and he was sent off at the longest odds in the field.
Eric and Herbert Reed watched the race on the big screen in the Churchill paddock. Taking note of the race leaders blazing through the first quarter mile—the fastest in Derby history at 21.78 seconds—Herbert said to his son, “We might not win it, but I know they wont.” The half-mile split was less than 46 seconds, still a withering pace that set up the race for a dead closer—Rich Strikes wheelhouse.
When Derby rookie jockey Leon—himself as big a long shot as the rest of the crew—made a series of bold moves and smart decisions, he put Rich Strike in position for a dash to the finish. When he caught Epicenter and Zandon in the final sixteenth of a mile, almost no one in the crowd of 147,000 knew the horse suddenly stealing the Kentucky Derby on the rail. But the boys watching in the paddock knew, disbelief and euphoria commingling. When Rich Strike crossed under the wire first, Eric Reed collapsed to the ground—a bad back, a rush of emotion, overwhelming shock, whatever the reason. Herbert feared his son was having a heart attack.
“Scared the hell out of me,” Herbert says. “Then he got up from there and I started laughing at him.”
As the ecstatically unruly group howled and hugged and staggered its way toward the Kentucky Derby winners circle, Eric Reeds first thought was who he wanted next to him for this walk of a lifetime. [He called out, “Wheres my dad?”](https://www.courier-journal.com/videos/news/2022/05/08/strike-rich-horse-owner-dawson-kentucky-derby-churchill-downs-winner-reaction/9693184002/)
Herbert Reed was right there behind his son. As he has been across every step of an incredible familial journey.
**[Read more of SIs Daily Cover stories:](https://www.si.com/tag/daily-cover)**
**• [The Return and Rebirth of the WNBAs AD](https://www.si.com/wnba/2022/05/05/ad-long-covid-identity-new-york-liberty-daily-cover)
****• [Does the NBA Have a $@&!\*% Problem?](https://www.si.com/nba/2022/05/11/nba-profanity-problem-daily-cover)
****• [Sicilian Scrum: One Italian Rugby Club is Standing Up to the Mafia](https://www.si.com/sports-illustrated/2022/05/10/briganti-rugby-sicily-mafia-daily-cover)**
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# A Vibe Shift Is Coming
![](https://pyxis.nymag.com/v1/imgs/a4d/6b8/398f0ce8049825d956a8a6d51f01f93b6d-4M8A9237.rvertical.w570.jpg)
Meg Yates, better known as Meg Superstar Princess, hangs outside an _Office_ magazine party last week. Photo: The Cobrasnake
This article was featured in [One Great Story](http://nymag.com/tags/one-great-story/), _New York_s reading recommendation newsletter. [Sign up here](https://nymag.com/promo/sign-up-for-one-great-story.html?itm_source=csitepromo&itm_medium=articlelink&itm_campaign=ogs_tertiary_zone) to get it nightly.
**One morning in June,** while I was puffing away on my stationary bike — fine, a Peloton — pretending I had enough time to get my body ready for the “hot vaxx summer” that never really was, my friend Ellen messaged me: “Okay, please let me know if this person is dumb. But this stressed me out this morning.”
She dropped a link to something titled “Vibe Shift,” an entry from a Substack called [_8Ball_](https://www.8ball.report/?r=zifuc)_,_ which turned out to be the weekly newsletter of a trend-forecasting consultancy founded by Sean Monahan. Previously, Monahan had helped found the now-defunct art collective K-HOLE, known for giving a name to the 2010s [phenomenon of normcore](https://www.thecut.com/2014/02/normcore-fashion-trend.html) and succinctly explaining why all of a sudden everyone was wearing New Balance sneakers and dad jeans. In other words, hes someone who has made a career of translating cultural trends for a larger audience.
A _vibe shift_ is the catchy but sort of too-cool term Monahan uses for a relatively simple idea: In the culture, sometimes things change, and a once-dominant social wavelength starts to feel dated. Monahan, who is 35, breaks down the three vibe shifts he has survived and observed: Hipster/Indie Music (ca. 20039), or peak Arcade Fire, Bloc Party, high-waisted Cheap Mondays, Williamsburg, bespoke-cocktail bars; Post-Internet/Techno Revival (ca. 201016), or the Blood Orange era, normcore, [dressing like _The Matrix_](https://www.thecut.com/2018/04/i-dressed-like-i-was-in-the-matrix-for-a-week.html')_,_ Kinfolk the club, not _Kinfolk_ the magazine; and Hypebeast/Woke (ca. 201620), or Drake at his Drakest, the Nike SNKRS app, sneaker flipping, virtue signaling, Donald Trump, protests not brunch.
You can argue the accuracy of Monahans timeline or spend hours over dinner litigating the touch points of each vibe era — its kind of fun debating which trend was peaking when, or which was just for white people — but the thing that struck fear into Ellens heart was Monahans prediction that we were on the cusp of a new vibe shift. It _is_ unnerving because when you really consider it, you can feel people flocking to a new thing. You can see that hes right; something has shifted.
None of this would have been particularly distressing (its just how time moves), if not for this paragraph explaining what the flocking looks like:
> One day everyone was wearing Red Wing boots and partying in warehouses in Williamsburg decorated with twinkling fairy lights. VIBE SHIFT! Everyone started wearing Nike Frees and sweating it out in the club. Now some did not make it through the vibe shift … Why are you all wearing the same sneakers! they would plead. Dont you care about authenticity? Whats with all this sudden interest in branding!
This is to say, not everyone survives a vibe shift. The ones still clinging to authenticity and fairy lights are the ones who crystallized in their hipsterdom while the culture moved on. They “bunkered down in Greenpoint and got married” or took their waxed beards and nautical tattoo sleeves and relocated to Hudson. And by that law, those who survived this shift only to get stuck in, say, Hypebeast/Woke — well, theyve already moved to Los Angeles to houses that have room to display their sneaker collections worth a small fortune.
Unfortunately, I ate this social analysis up with a big-ass spoon. Its chilling to realize you may be one of the stuck, or if you arent, you may be soon. Like Ellen, I havent stopped thinking about my own survival odds since.
**This vibe-shift idea landed** right as I was trying to figure out what hot-girl summer — or hot vaxx summer or the whoring 20s or however you chose to label the expected triumphant return — was supposed to be and who I was supposed to be in it. I was in the middle of attempting to relearn which clothes I wore, how I pursued sex, what drugs I took and with whom, what music I danced to and where. I could accept that some of [my old bars had closed](https://www.curbed.com/article/iconic-nyc-businesses-closed-2020-pandemic.html) (RIP, Franks, Kinfolk) and that a bunch of people I knew had babies (RIP, people who had babies), but I also felt that time had stopped in some ways.
It was reassuring to think the pandemic had hit PAUSE on life, or at least put things into slo-mo. That while some of us were inside, or in the world but social distancing, or just keeping to ourselves as best we could, culture wasnt really moving forward. In therapy, I talked about how, for the first time in years, I didnt [feel acute FOMO.](https://www.thecut.com/2021/06/the-return-of-fomo.html) It was nice that everyone was sort of stagnant, watching the same trash on Netflix. Sure, some people [were going out “secretly,”](https://www.thecut.com/2020/11/nyc-underground-nightlife-covid-19.html) but we didnt really know [what those people were up to](https://www.thecut.com/2021/11/nyc-sex-parties.html?utm_campaign=thecut&utm_medium=s1&utm_source=tw), and we didnt have reason to believe they were advancing any sort of scene. Turns out, two years might have swooshed into a black hole, but I was cocky to think something wouldnt fill the void.
“Those were still real years. Peoples opinions were changing, things were happening. It was just that, you know, culture and pop culture were not really putting out bangers during most of the pandemic,” says Monahan when we speak by phone in an attempt to truly decode the vibe shift.
“Theres been a real paranoia that people have. Everyone coming out of hibernation being like, _What are people wearing? What are people reading? What are people doing?_ And it was different than when everyone had gone into the pandemic. It unsettled a lot of people,” Monahan says, commiserating, I think.
Like me, Monahan is a geriatric millennial, but while it remains to be seen if I will shift, he has already moved forward. Its his particular skill, after all. His trend-forecasting ability materialized when he was getting his B.F.A. in painting at RISD. Even though he couldnt get a job after he graduated in 2009, his studies gave him the ability to recognize the “tradition of western image making,” he says. “There are certain patterns that emerge. As soon as you hit modernism, culture starts to go into these kind of, like, patricidal cycles where each generation that comes up tries to refute the past.”
He channeled that into K-HOLE, the collective he started with his friends in 2011. Emily Segal, another co-founder, described K-HOLE to _T_ magazine as “an extreme version of the corporate taste for drawing on youth, drug, and countercultures for lifestyle inspiration.” That is, K-HOLE tried to make trend forecasting into an art project. In 2013, it recognized a specific way that people were “trying to navigate fashion and personal style in a kind of emergent social-media ecosystem that had kind of broken the old script for how to position yourself as interesting,” says Monahan. In short, normcore was a rebuke to being a bespoke snowflake and publicizing it on Instagram.
Its also a meme Monahan cant escape, he says with a sigh. Normcore went viral but didnt make his group any money. “It was never like, _Heres our exit plans to become millionaires, turn our PDFs into a global creative-services brand or something,_” he explains. K-HOLE dissolved in 2016. He chalks it up to the times, what he calls “the unworkableness” of 2010 culture. “We had a very broad reach but no monetization.”
But brands will always need someone to explain TikTok microcultures to old losers. So even without the collective, Monahan has found success as a consultant for brands, like Nike, that pay him to tell a good story about why a person buys X over Y.
**Whats the new vibe?** Monahan had intended to drop a “Vibe Shift” follow-up on his Substack, in which he would dissect what was percolating (information he deemed so valuable it would require purchasing a $600 annual subscription to access. Now, a years subscription is more in line with the market standard of $50). Half a year later, he still cant quite figure it out. (Delta and Omicron slowed down the shift some, a lucky break for those of us who want a second chance to avoid getting left behind.)
Monahan does have some theories, though: “I feel like the trajectory of the 2010s has been exhausted in a lot of ways. The culture-war topic no longer seems quite as interesting to people. Social media isnt a place where you can be as creative anymore; all the angles are figured out. Younger people are less interested in things like quote-unquote cancel culture. These were kind of, like, the big pillars we used to navigate pop culture in the 2010s. And we had the rise of all these world-spanning, like, Sauron-esque tech platforms that literally have presences on every continent. People want to make things personal again.”
He thinks the new vibe shift could be the return of early-aughts indie sleaze. “American Apparel, flash photography at parties, and messy hair and messy makeup,” he riffs, plus a return to a more fragmented culture. “People going off in a lot of different directions because it doesnt feel like theres a coherent, singular vision for music or fashion.” He sees Substacks and podcasts as the new blogs and a move away from Silicon Valleys interest in optimizing workflow, “which is just so anti-decadence.” Most promisingly, he predicts a return of irony.
I suggest that the death drive has something to do with it. With the pandemic and climate change, our aesthetic and behavior are certainly shaped by a sense of doom. Theres a nihilism to the way people dress and party; our heels get higher the closer we inch to death. Its why [people are smoking again](https://www.nytimes.com/2022/01/12/style/smoking-cigarettes-comeback.html), so says the New York _Times._ “Oh, sure,” Monahan agrees, but not fully. “I think the interest in opulence and the interest in transgression are in some ways just pent-up frustrations from the pandemic where people are like, _I want to have fun._ Also, the 2010s were such a politicized decade that I think the desire people have to be less constrained by political considerations makes a lot of sense.” I can tell hes theorizing on the fly when he points to the fact that theres now a bouncer at Bemelmans Bar as evidence of the new embrace of old opulence.
Still, like everyone now exposed to this theory, I have a choice to make: Do I try to opt in to whatever trend comes next, or do I choose to accept that my last two good years were spent on my couch gobbling antidepressants and wearing “cute house pants” and UGGs? How easy would it be to fossilize in my Rachel Comey clogs (2013), holding shallots (2018), listening to 2011 Drake, just being happy channeling my personal style into housewares instead of clothing, as Monahan says my demographic is doing? Or do I batter on, living my life like Im an extra [on _Euphoria_?](https://www.thecut.com/article/euphoria-cast-interview.html)
Monahan reassured me that its okay not to survive the shift. We all have permission to stay stuck at whatever makes us feel comfortable, and if thats in 2016 or 2012 or 2010, thats fine.
I decided to poll my friends about what theyre doing, mostly the ones without kids. Do they think they will emerge on the other side of all of this “as adults” who just accept we lost our last few years of socially acceptable freedom? Will they let themselves get stuck?
“Im writing about a vibe shift,” I wrote in a text to one friend, broaching the topic.
“Are they good or bad? I cant keep up,” he replies. He also doesnt really care, as he got engaged and has been going on vacations and calls himself vibe-optimistic. He changes for no vibe.
“Is this about babies? Do you want to have a baby?” asks another friend, who just had a baby and wants company and refuses to understand that this is about vibes.
I could just choose to opt out, but heres a glimpse of what awaits me if I survive: Late last summer, Monahan was in L.A. hanging out at “this kind of trendy wine bar called El Prado,” where he observed a 21-year-old woman wearing Rocket Dogs, as in the platform shoes, with low-rise, boot-cut True Religion jeans. He noticed how she had a little black leather under-the-arm purse and a cami and a trucker hat. It was as though she had time-traveled from [early-aughts Kitson.](https://www.thecut.com/2021/08/the-red-pilling-of-kitson-fraser-ross.html) He watched as she started talking to an older hipster dude. “He was trying to explain to her what a mosh pit was, and my friend was just kind of cracking up about this weird intergenerational conversation happening, when we were like, This girl looks like she just shifted from, I dont know, like, 2008 to this bar and is talking to a guy who looks like he never updated his style since 2008. And hes trying to give her more of a POV on crowd-surfing at hardcore shows in the aughts,” Monahan says, laughing incredulously.
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# A new generation of white supremacist killer - Los Angeles Times
ATLANTA  
Bored during the early days of the pandemic, Payton Gendron logged on to the 4chan message board website to browse ironic memes and infographics that spread the idea that the white race is going extinct.
He was soon lurking on the webs even more sinister fringes, scrolling through extremist and neo-Nazi sites that peddled conspiracy theories and anti-Black racism. It wasnt until he spotted a GIF of a man shooting a shotgun through a dark hallway, and then tracked down a livestream of the [2019 killing of 51 people at two mosques in New Zealand](https://www.latimes.com/world/la-fg-new-zealand-mosque-terrorist-attack-20190315-story.html), that Gendron appeared to have found his calling: as a virulently racist, copycat mass shooter with a craving for notoriety.
The white 18-year-old from Conklin, N.Y., suspected of [killing 10 people Saturday in a Buffalo, N.Y., supermarke](https://www.latimes.com/world-nation/story/2022-05-15/buffalo-shooting-that-killed-10-investigated-as-racially-motivated-violent-extremism)t, appears to represent a new generation of white supremacists. They are isolated and online, radicalized on internet memes and misinformation, apparently inspired by livestreams to find fame through bloodshed, much of it propelled by convoluted ideas that the white race is under threat from everything from interracial marriage to immigration.
![A person readjusts a couple stuffed animals at a makeshift memorial near the Tops Friendly Markets in Buffalo, N.Y.](https://ca-times.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/721a3a3/2147483647/strip/true/crop/6000x4000+0+0/resize/840x560!/quality/90/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fcalifornia-times-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2F8a%2F13%2F620e3adf42958879a27c88bf2b7a%2F959719-na-0515-buffalo-shooting-kkn-23328.jpg)
Jeanne LeGall, of Buffalo, N.Y., readjusts a couple stuffed animals at a makeshift memorial near the Tops Friendly Markets at Jefferson Avenue and Riley Street on Sunday in Buffalo.
(Kent Nishimura / Los Angeles Times)
“Now you have this new ironic world of killers,” said J.J. MacNab, a fellow at George Washington Universitys program on extremism. “Its a different world — just a constant flow of bad statistics, bad memes, bad lies about the people they want to hate.… Thats the 4chan way: You say things that are outrageous that you dont necessarily believe — and over time you come to believe.”
Unlike the white supremacists of old — from the Ku Klux Klan to newer neo-Nazi terror groups such as the Base or the Atomwaffen Division — the new recruits to racist 4chan and 8chan forums are often teenage boys in high school, MacNab said. They act out their rage at a time of dimming economic opportunity for some young people and the changing demographics of a country they have been told no longer has a place for them.
“They piggyback on each others crimes and, as each one became more famous, then just absolutely made it more desirable for them to copy,” MacNab said. “The joke is always: Who can beat the kill number? ... To them, its like a video game. How do you score better than the last one?”
Armed with a high-powered rifle scrawled with a racial epithet, the suspect broadcast his killing spree live on Twitch, a platform popular among young gamers, and published a 180-page manifesto that espoused the racist “replacement theory,” the idea that white Americans are at risk of being replaced by Jews and people of color.
Identifying as a white supremacist fascist with neo-Nazi beliefs, Gendron wrote that low white birth rates around the world represent a “crisis” and “assault” that “will ultimately result in the complete racial and cultural replacement of the European people.”
Experts say replacement theory — whose label was first coined in France by the white nationalist writer Renaud Camus in his 2011 book “Le Grand Remplacement” — has inspired a steady stream of violent racist gunmen in the United States in recent years, from the massacre at the Tree of Life synagogue in Pittsburgh in 2018 to the killing of one congregant and injury of three others at a synagogue in Poway, Calif.
![An armed police officer closes a gate to Al Noor Mosque after it was reopened in Christchurch, New Zealand, in 2019.](https://ca-times.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/6b636d1/2147483647/strip/true/crop/7308x4872+0+0/resize/840x560!/quality/90/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fcalifornia-times-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2Ff6%2F20%2Ffdf4b6a647d797364e0d1ea8f265%2Fgettyimages-1132103009.jpg)
An armed police officer closes a gate to Al Noor Mosque after it was officially reopened following the previous weeks mass shooting on March 23, 2019, in Christchurch, New Zealand.
(Carl Court / Getty Images)
While Gendron ultimately was motivated by a mass killing outside the U.S. — Brenton Tarrants 2019 massacre of worshipers in Christchurch, New Zealand — he lauded in his manifesto the perpetrators of racially motivated massacres in the U.S. These included Dylann Roof, who killed nine Black parishioners at a church in Charleston, S.C., and Patrick Crusius, who targeted Latinos and immigrants at a Walmart in El Paso. That shooting, which killed 23 people, has been described as the deadliest attack on Latinos in modern American history.
White supremacist and far-right killers have dominated the extremist homicide totals since 2018, said Brian Levin, director of the Center for the Study of Hate and Extremism at Cal State San Bernardino. Over the last two years, there was a historic upward shift overall in the frequency of anti-Black hate crime across the U.S., Levin said.
“We saw a concerning historic inflectional spike in anti-Black hate crime and online invective in 2020 and 2021 with increased violence, but without the kind of multi-fatality attacks that previously accompanied such spikes, until now,” Levin said. “This shooting is an extension and return to mass acts of violence.”
The lull in hate-driven mass shootings was partly because the pandemic shut down schools, malls and places where crowds of people congregated, Levin said. But also because federal law enforcement paid closer attention to extremists on online apps such as Telegram after the El Paso shooting in 2019, said Michael Edison Hayden, senior investigative reporter with the Southern Poverty Law Centers Intelligence Project.
Although such attacks appear to target specific communities, they are actually driven by a set of larger white power ideologies, said Kathleen Belew, assistant professor of history at the University of Chicago who studies extremism.
Belew, author of “Bring the War Home: The White Power Movement and Paramilitary America,” said racist radicalization was not a Southern or regional problem. The Buffalo attack was clearly related to racially motivated attacks in the U.S. in recent years, from the Pittsburgh synagogue to the El Paso Walmart.
“Radicalization is happening all the time around our country,” she said.
Running Gendrons manifesto through plagiarism software, Belew found that significant chunks were lifted from the manifesto of the Christchurch shooter. But Gendron also appeared to have written portions himself, including his support for replacement theory.
“Immigrants are one threat, the presence of African Americans is another one, and Jews who are allegedly controlling these plots to eradicate the white race,” Belew said. “Theres a hyperfixation on the white birth rate and on white women having white children and the violent defense of that system.”
Although white supremacists such as Gendron may become radicalized online, they were also incited by the spectacle of the Jan. 6, 2021, insurrection: “The Capitol attack was a radicalization action that dramatically increased online activity in spaces like those the Buffalo shooter is believed to have frequented,” Belew said.
Blending the ideology of “great replacement” with ironic symbols and internet in-jokes is a key feature of a new breed of white supremacist mass shooters, Hayden said.
“Dialoguing with people, mass murder as performance is a particular phenomenon of the post-Trump era,” he said. “The manifesto is part of a performance, a physical representation, the bloodshed is taking the memes into real life.”
“These killers dont have any perception of people being people.” Hayden said. “These are murders presented almost like video games, and theyre actually, for that reason, very, very, very scary.... That mimetic aspect of it — the internet winking and things like that — feels even a step more dehumanized and horrible.”
About 60% of the extremist killings in the U.S. between 2009 and 2019 were committed by people espousing white supremacist ideologies such as replacement theory, according to the Anti-Defamation League.
“White supremacy is the No. 1 domestic terrorism threat in the United States,” according to Heidi Beirich, co-founder of the Global Project Against Hate and Extremism based in Montgomery, Ala.
Federal law enforcement assessments and studies by the Center for Strategic and International Studies, a Washington-based think tank, Beirich said, show far-right plots and attacks have been “exponentially growing” in recent years. In the Western world, she said, the threat of extremism has shifted from Islamic extremists to “ideologically motivated racial extremists.”
But she cautioned: “Within the white supremacy world, theres a lot of different motives.”
“Its like hes fused Dylann Roofs racism into the great replacement,” Beirich said of Gendron, noting his manifesto links to race science studies and to prominent American white supremacists like [Jared Taylor](https://www.splcenter.org/fighting-hate/extremist-files/individual/jared-taylor). “You realize this guy has immersed himself in this hodgepodge of white supremacist websites.”
Converging online, isolated young men had fewer outlets than their forebears who tend to gather in local groups and meet others in their community.
“When you have groups of people that meet regularly, you kind of have an outlet,” she said. “I think not meeting makes them more dangerous.”
While most of the killers are young males, not all of the new generation of white supremacists or extreme racists are white.
“You can have people of all different colors participate in the white supremacy rally,” MacNab said, noting that Henry “Enrique” Tarrio, the head of the Proud Boys far-right extremist group, is half Cuban, half Black and some of the Oathkeepers who showed up at the Capitol in Washington were not white.
“Its just a weird world we live in these days,” MacNab said. “A lot of thats back to the irony. If youre doing what youre doing, because you want to make liberals cry, then youre saying things you dont necessarily believe. And I think a lot of conservative people of color kind of got caught up in that.”
In his manifesto, Gendron presents himself as a young left-winger who evolved into a fascist, eco-fascist, populist and accelerationist bent on speeding up the collapse of established government, said Alexander Reid Ross, an adjunct professor at Portland State University and a senior fellow at the Center for Analysis of the Radical Right who read the manifesto.
“He kind of provides some reasoning for that toward the end: The left wing has admirable goals, but for that reason it will always set back progress because for him, nonwhite people, except for Asians, are intrinsically inferior, so if you try to help them, youre impeding the success of white people,” Reid Ross said of the manifesto.
Reid Ross noticed that Gendron highlights his German and Italian roots in the manifesto, yet still believes in the “great replacement.”
“We all tend to think of great replacement as anti-immigrant,” Reid Ross said. “What this killing shows us is its more than that: It is targeting anybody who isnt white. He calls them replacers and they have to be slaughtered, expelled or killed.”
Experts who study extremism have made an effort to not circulate Gendrons manifesto.
“Each manifesto seems to lead to another attack and another manifesto and is a radicalizing force,” Beirich said. “So its very important that neither the video — which presents the attack like its a first-person shooter game — or the manifesto be circulated because it will inspire further attacks.”
Because Gendrons manifesto includes detailed tactical advice and instructions, she said, “its a plan ... actually even more dangerous than an ideological statement.”
After the Christchurch shooting in 2019, Beirich and other experts formed an advisory panel that worked with a tech company group, the Global Internet Forum to Counter Terrorism, to more quickly remove content such as attacker manifestos and videos to avoid inspiring further attacks and retraumatizing victims.
Some online critics said those groups didnt act fast enough to prevent Gendrons video from being cross-posted on Facebook and other sites, where it lingered for hours. But Beirich insisted that authorities acted more swiftly. And while screenshots of portions of the manifesto are circulating online, Beirich said, all 180 pages are not widely available and “its not going viral within minutes” like it did with Christchurch.
While Gendron came from the nations extreme fringes, a significant proportion of Americans share some of his ideas. Nearly 1 in 5 Americans agree with at least two key tenets of replacement theory, according to a new [poll](https://apnorc.org/projects/immigration-attitudes-and-conspiratorial-thinkers/) released last week by the Associated Press and the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago.
Experts caution, however, that belief in those tenets does not necessarily make a person a full-blown believer in the theory, let alone be willing to act violently.
The poll, which surveyed 4,173 American adults, asked about two statements that capture key parts of replacement theory — that theres an effort to deliberately replace native-born Americans with immigrants for political reasons and that native-born Americans are losing economic and political clout in the U.S.
The survey found that about 1 in 3 Americans agreed that “there is a group of people in this country who are trying to replace native-born Americans with immigrants who agree with their political views.” About 1 in 7 Americans said they “strongly” agree with that.
Late Saturday, Gendron stood in a Buffalo city courtroom, wearing a white paper gown with his hands shackled, as he was charged with one count of first-degree murder.
His court-appointed lawyer pleaded not guilty.
While Gendron probably wanted the public to focus on white genocide after the shooting, Hayden of the SPLC said they should instead focus on the rich donors who sought to profit from radicalizing Gendron and other young men.
“There are very wealthy people in this country who are seeking to keep this radicalization material humming because it benefits them,” Hayden said. “The more chaotic the country is, the more the rich can work for themselves.”
*Jarvie reported from Atlanta and Hennessy-Fiske from Houston. Times staff writer Richard Winton in Los Angeles and senior editor David Lauter in Washington contributed to this report.*
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# A view from across the river
Each of us is an atlas of sorts, already knowing how to navigate some portion of the world, containing innumerable versions of place as experience and desire and fear, as route and landmark and desire.
—Rebecca Solnit\[i\]
In Delhi, when you meet someone for the first time, among the first questions you are asked is Where do you live? What on the face seems like innocuous small talk is actually a way of assessing class and status. When I reply, Patparganj, some say Oh, where is that? I say, East Delhi, across the Yamuna, and I know from the silence and awkwardness that follows that Ive already been assessed. If my south Delhi friend happens to be by my side, she will quickly come to my defense, even as I need no such assistance, Oh, she lives in this apartment that has all these big-shot academics! My choice of neighbourhood is somehow supposed to be redeemed by the esteemed presence of academics.
The bias against Patparganj or for that matter other localities across the Yamuna is not just limited to my south Delhi acquaintances unfamiliar with this part of the city. Before 2010, when the metro improved interconnectivity of this neighbourhood, whenever I would try to get an auto rickshaw to go to Patparganj from my office in Jai Singh Road in central Delhi, or for that matter from anywhere else in the city, _autowalla_s would blatantly refuse, saying _Jamnapaar nahin jayenge_—well not go across the Yamuna. Some would just say Patparganj? Jamnapaar? and shake their heads or quickly drive away as if Id mentioned something horrific.\[ii\]
When I moved to Patparganj, more than a decade back, I was moving from south Delhi, from an urban village called Katwaria Sarai, where I had lived for over seven years in three different houses. Katwaria Sarai, in the 2000s, was a much-preferred locality for students, working professionals, MBA and IAS aspirants, and even young live-in couples. The main source of income for the villages original inhabitants came from the rent economy, and few questions were asked as long as you could deposit a months rent as security and pay the rent more or less on time. Notwithstanding the narrow meandering gullies, dusty run-down parks, dangerously tall, incrementally built houses, with one-room and two-room sets and little ventilation, Katwaria Sarai, seemed for me and many other young people as a haven of freedom, mobility and choice. Eating out was the cheapest and most convenient option, and the narrow winding gullies had a large number of _dhaba_s, small restaurants, snack and sweet shops, many with specialized regional cuisine, Mallu, Odia and Bihari to name a few, dishing out home food to the different communities of the floating tenant population. Some eateries, particularly _paratha_, Maggi and _chai_ sellers, would remain open late into the night or the wee hours of the morning, which also meant that roaming the streets in the middle of the night was normal and routine, rather than a subversive act of claiming the city.
It was equally easy to roam in the adjoining areas of the neighbourhood, virtually at any time of the day or night, with no closed gates or security guards preventing you from doing so. I could saunter into the adjoining IIT campus, go for morning walks in JNU, spend afternoons studying in the JNU library even though I was not a student there, go for night walks in Sanjay Van—a forest that is part of the Mehrauli South Central Ridge, visit the Friday bazaar in R.K. Puram to buy cheap plastic buckets and pillow covers, and on many occasions even walk further down, covering a distance of over 6 km, to SN Market to window shop and eat _samosa_s, and head back bummed out in Bus No. 615. It was from this affective world, of youthfulness and of an ease in traversing the city, mostly on foot, that I made a move to Patparganj. 
When I moved to Patparganj in 2008, it was still considered a backward outlier, with no connection to culture, history and modern amenities that other parts of the city were marked with. It had, and continues to have, no cafes, bookshops, crumbling or restored monuments, no organic stores or designer shops; even the closest malls in Laxmi Nagar and Ghaziabad are often looked down upon by middle and upper-middle class residents as pedestrian. Yet, these were hardly the concerns I had at the time of shifting. I found the rows of modernist apartment blocks in Patparganj, many of them with crumbling facades and others that were just plain ugly, disorienting. And I was anxious about how I would transition to apartment living and the codes of gated communities from my peripatetic lifestyle in Katwaria Sarai. It is only in retrospect that I understand that the disorientation and the apprehensions came from my unfamiliarity and lack of relationship with the place, but before I get to that let us take a small detour through the history of this area. 
**Does the history of a place matter?**
The word patpar means lowland, ruins, an empty, desolate or deserted place, land that is prone to flooding in the monsoons, while ganj, meaning treasure, is usually used as a suffix with the names of places such as bazaars, _mandi_s, marketplaces and market towns, especially grain markets, thus referring to a treasured place. The coming together of these two incongruous words, one implying emptiness and the other abundance, can perhaps be resolved by understanding this region as one that was unsuitable for cultivation and yet an important marketplace. A number of historians have mentioned Patparganj as an important suburb of the Mughal capital of Shahjahanabad, integrally connected to the city in the seventeenth and early eighteenth centuries. In _Shahjahanabad: The Sovereign City in Mughal India 16391739_, Stephen P. Blake points out to the links of trans-Yamuna suburbs with Shahjahanabad: South and to the East, on the opposite side of the Jamuna, were Patparganj and Shahadra. In these mahallas resided wholesale grain merchants. The grain which they imported from the doab was stored in large walled enclosures, then ferried across the river and sold in Paharganj.\[iii\] Both neighbourhoods were destroyed in the mid-eighteenth century in the wake of the recurrent invasions of Delhi. The final blow came in September 1803 in the Battle of Delhi that was fought in Patparganj. Fought between the British troops led by General Gerard Lake, on one side, and the Marathas and Mughal troops of Delhi, on the other, the battle lasted just three days, but would go on to secure British control over Delhi and British rule over the subcontinent.
The only material remnant of this history of Patparganj is a pillar, erected in 1916, commemorating the British victory in the 1803 battle, also referred to as the Battle of Patparganj. It is located in what is today the Noida Golf Course and is not open to the public but only to the members of the golf course. 
![](https://chiraghdilli.files.wordpress.com/2022/01/image-1.jpg?w=802)
_Old hand-drawn map of Delhi (1807). The only trans-Yamuna neighbourhood marked on the map is Patparganj._
Interestingly, when the decision was made to build a new imperial capital in Delhi in 1911, Patparganj was also considered as a possible site and then rejected. A July 1912 report of the Delhi Town Planning Committee noted, The land on the east bank of Jumna is hallowed by no historical associations except for the site of Lord Lakes battle of Delhi.\[iv\] The report declared the area as unsuitable for the new capital on the grounds that the banks of the river were flat, liable to flooding and unhealthy, and that it would be too costly to build a new city there, given the terrain. However, the then Government of India was keen to acquire this land as also other land on the left bank of the Yamuna, which came under the United Provinces, and incorporate it within Delhi. The Secretary, Government of India, in a letter to the Chief Secretary of the United Provinces, dated 8 August 1912, proposed the acquisition of the villages of Kotla and Patparganj as an extra grazing area and with the view of obtaining possession of the site of Lord Lakes battle of Delhi … for historical and sentimental reasons.\[v\] Land acquisition in south and west of Delhi was expected to displace milch cattle from their grazing areas, and Patparganj and other areas on the left bank of Yamuna were considered as suitable for rehabilitating the displaced cattle, so that Delhis supply of milk could be sustained. The pastoral tribe of Gujjars inhabiting these areas was believed to be an added advantage. 
That Patparganj has had a historical role in the making of Delhi through the ages perhaps has little bearing on my relationship with this place and how I go about my everyday life in the neighbourhood. But it is highly unlikely that I would have cared to know anything about the history of this place if it were not home for me for so many years. And some historical coincidences tickle me—that the area was central to the citys milk supply in the colonial times and that in the present times, Mother Dairy (colloquially called Madan Diary), a key supplier of milk in Delhi-NCR, has a factory here, which is also a landmark of Patparganj.
**The social life of cooperative apartments** 
Present-day Patparganj comprises the high-rise apartment complexes that were built from the 1980s onwards; the Patparganj Industrial Area that came up in the 1990s, separated from the residential area by the Ghazipur Drain; and Patparganj Village, the area left over from the modern citys steady encroachment, chock-a-block with shops and incrementally built houses. While technically the area with the apartments is called Indraprastha Extension, it is colloquially referred to as Patparganj Society, a name derived from the fact that all the apartments here were constructed through cooperative housing group societies. The people who came together through these cooperatives were predominantly the middle class looking for affordable housing or a retirement investment in property. Each cooperative housing society also typically had some other shared background apart from class, whether it was a professional, institutional, regional or caste affiliation, sometimes reflected in the names of the apartments. UNESCO, BALCO and Oxford Apartments were cooperatives of the employees of these respective organizations, Oxford in this case referring to the academic publisher Oxford University Press. Kurmanchal Niketan brought together people from Kumaon, Press Apartments housed journalists, Deshbandhu Society, teachers from Deshbandhu College, Agrasen Awas, the Baniya community, Shree Ganesh Apartment, the Mathurs (a Kayastha sub-caste) of Old Delhi, Vidisha and Sah Vikas, teachers from Delhi University and Jawaharlal Nehru University. The cooperative society housing form thus allowed people to choose their neighbours in advance, making possible the stabilization of identities and communities, old and new, even as they transitioned to modern apartment living and moved with the expansion of the citys limits. 
![](https://chiraghdilli.files.wordpress.com/2022/01/image-2-1.jpg?w=739)
_An apartment complex in Patparganj._
On the face of it, Patparganjs apartments appear to be small islands, each holding together a set of people with a shared social background. And there are apartment dwellers, who manage to unlook and avoid the sea of life the islands are surrounded by, through the blinkers of their class and aspirations, shopping for vegetables and eating street food from the evasive confines of their cars or seeking the happening city elsewhere. Yet, life here, as I have come to experience over the years, does not inevitably have to be one of isolated living confined to the apartments. 
Adjoining and interspersed between the roads lined with apartments are a large number of dense and diverse mixed-use neighbourhoods—Chander Vihar, Joshi Colony, Indira Camp, Hasanpur Village, Mandawali, East Vinod Nagar, West Vinod Nagar and Madhu Vihar—with residences, shops, markets, small workshops, eateries, _haat_s and _mandi_s, mosques, temples and gurudwaras. Many of these are unauthorized colonies that got regularized in 2012, while others are urban villages, jhuggi-jhopri clusters and pockets with ambiguous legal status. Dwelling in these neighbourhoods are local business and shop owners, people servicing the apartments such as guards and domestic helps, street vendors, autowallas, and other working-class families. The apartment folk and the people from these neighbourhoods use the same public parks, streets, markets and weekly bazaars even as this does not in any simple way transform into forms of sociality and intersections between the two. 
![](https://chiraghdilli.files.wordpress.com/2022/01/image-3.jpg?w=768)
_Afternoon in a park in Patparganj, which attracts people from the apartments and from dwellings adjoining the apartments._
You only have to step out of your apartment gate and there are a host of street vendors lining the streets and pavements, selling fresh vegetables and fruits, flowers, street food, potted plants, pottery, brooms and mops or providing services such as tailoring, cobbling, key making, cycle repair and ironing. Apart from these vendors with more or less fixed spots of the street are a large number of itinerant vendors who also ply the streets—pressure cooker repairmen, _kabadiwalla_s, women vendors who will exchange your old clothes for utensils, _charpaiwalla_s, etc. And then there are the weekly bazaars that come up in different parts of Patparganj on different days of the week, which transform the streets into a bustling marketplace and place of leisure for a couple of hours, starting in the evening and carrying on till late at night. Bazaar day draws crowds of people of different age groups, men and women, and different classes to the streets to shop, snack or just roam, making it possible for even those not headed to the bazaar to be out in the streets.
**[Homin](https://chiraghdilli.com/2020/08/07/homing-and-unhoming-taxonomies-of-living/)g in Patparganj**
Just like it is difficult to trace the exact origin of a relationship with a person—it is something that grows gradually and you do not realize when your lives become entwined—it is the same with a place. It is difficult to pinpoint the exact moment when you start to feel at ease and grow roots, and your lifes rhythm and routines get entangled with a place. I do not remember when my misgivings about Patparganj gave way to a quiet love for the neighbourhood. Was it when I discovered the Shani (Saturday) Bazaar and it became part of my weekly routine of buying fresh vegetables, sauntering through the bazaar while munching on roasted peanuts and ending the visit always with some hot _jalebi_s? Was it when I found the tiny Madras store from where I could buy my supplies of _dosa_ batter, _podi_ and banana chips? Did it have anything to do with the roadside second-hand bookstall, where I ended up going almost every evening over the course of twothree years, and managed to fulfil my childhood dream of having my own complete Tintin collection? Did I finally feel at home when I had to stay cooped up in my flat due to a bad typhoid infection and noticed for the first time that my apartment complex had, apart from the ubiquitous blue rock pigeon, quite an assortment of [birds](https://chiraghdilli.com/2017/04/09/its-not-about-birds/)—a majestic barn owl, loud Alexandrine parakeets, squabbling jungle babblers, tailor birds hopping right under my nose among my balcony plants, and many others? Or was it when all the autowallas at the corner auto stand came to recognize me and would never refuse to take me anywhere?
![](https://chiraghdilli.files.wordpress.com/2022/01/image-4.jpg?w=1024)
_Alexandrine parakeets hanging out in my apartment complex._
While I have no idea when my homing in this neighbourhood began, I started sensing that it had kind of set in when I would suggest a particular place in the locality to a neighbour or friend—a park to walk in, a tiny shop that sold Bengali sweets and _singada_s, a thela that made the best breadomelette or a mandi where you could buy cheap and fresh seasonal fruits—and they would say How do you know these things, weve lived here longer than you have? But this also goes on to show that there is nothing intrinsic about how you come to see, know and experience a place. A certain combination of shops, street corners, people, walking routes, daily itineraries, chance encounters and epiphanies, and everyday rituals continuously fold into the making of my relationship with Patparganj. This unique combination, continuously evolving through dropping and adding elements, forgetting and remembering markers of my life, is my personal map of the place, even as it might overlap with or diverge from infinite other personal maps. 
For someone who has continuously moved between rented accommodations, homing for me has never been just about settling down in a house, but rather about settling down in a neighbourhood, about the ease of walking in the streets and about being able to dwell outside and discover new things about the place. Patparganjs streets, forever bustling with traffic, bus commuters, street-vending activities, shoppers, passers-by and loiterers, have provided me with that ease. It is a pleasure to be able to step out of the apartment complex late at night during the summer and become part of the steady stream of loners, couples and families strolling, buying ice cream or _paan_, or walking their dogs till midnight.  
**The street as an extension of the apartment**
What distinguishes Patparganj from other parts of Delhi NCR characterized by apartment living, say Gurgaon, the newer parts of Noida and Greater Noida, is this dense, vibrant and relatively unregulated street life. In the case of the latter, the apartment complexes are designed to be self-sufficient with gyms, swimming pools, shopping complexes and recreation centres within their walls, outside of which are excessively wide roads, highways and expressways that are only meant for transit and are otherwise dead spaces. The street has been eliminated in these localities not only by making the apartments self-sufficient but also through zoning laws that render street vending activities illegal. In the absence of the street, the world outside the gated complex is not a place you would want to stroll in or, worse, be stuck in with a broken car. 
The resident welfare associations of Delhis middle-class and elite neighbourhoods are known to be notorious for harassing street vendors and restricting their numbers, in some cases clearing entire residential areas of them. The management committees of the housing societies in Patparganj are, however, largely not engaged in controlling street activity, except for taking over parts of the street as parking space or, increasingly, extending temples inside apartment complexes out into the road. Apartment dwellers share a casual intimacy with street vendors, especially the ones in the immediate vicinity of their respective apartments, involving banter, gossip and checking on each others family members. 
![](https://chiraghdilli.files.wordpress.com/2022/01/image-5.jpg?w=768)
_A street vendor outside an apartment. In the background is Madhu Vihar, one of the many localities interspersed between the apartments._
I probably know more people on the street outside my apartment than inside. This is not simply an individual eccentricity, but rather made possible by the culture and materiality of the street here that connects the streets with the apartments, and allows you to be outside because there are others too. When I step out to buy vegetables in the morning, I know I will see these two women in their gym clothes sipping tea at the chai stall I pass by. An elderly man from my apartment who escapes his family everyday to hang out at this chai stall is already there. I know he will be there through much of the day, drinking endless cups of tea, chatting up with autowallas, painters, contractors and others who stop by at the shop for refreshments, often walking up and down the pavement, catching up with others who work on the street. When I step out in the evening, I see he is still there, watching over the chaiwalla shutting his shop. Another permanent fixture at the chaiwallas is a kitten from a litter born inside my apartment block. She has adopted the chaiwalla and spends the whole day sleeping around his shop, walking in and out between his legs and drinking the milk he carefully pours out for her. When he packs up for the day, she returns to our apartment to sleep in a corner of the garden. 
Street dogs and other animals around my apartment are not only fed and looked after by the apartment folk but also the guards and municipality workers. When I walk further down the road towards Madhu Vihar Market, I notice the guard in Natraj Apartments and we nod our heads in silent acknowledgment—we both buy paneer from the same vendor on that road. I get it for my dinner, and he gets it for the three-legged dog that lives outside Natraj. The guard is forever fussing over the dog, and he sometimes updates me on the dogs mood when Im passing by, Aaj dukhi hai yeh … kuch kha nahin raha—hes sad today and not eating anything. He tries to cheer up the gloomy dog by feeding him pieces of paneer that the dog quickly devours and then goes back to brooding in his corner. 
![](https://chiraghdilli.files.wordpress.com/2022/01/image-6.jpg?w=768)
_A street in the neighbourhood with the three-legged dog in the foreground._
These relationships on the street, beyond the transactions of commodities and services exchanged, perhaps do little to transform the various kinds of inequalities that are entrenched in the city, but they do make the city a little less cruel, creating tiny breaks, of possibilities, in structures and trajectories of urban development we would like to believe are invincible. 
~
Im doing my night walk in the park behind my apartment complex, and I see the old man sitting on the grass with his seven dogs. The dogs were born outside another apartment close by. Some residents of the apartment complained to the municipality and wanted the pups to be removed. A municipal _safai karamchari_ had got the pups to the old man—Im not sure if the old man is himself a municipal worker or not. He has been taking care of the dogs since then, shifting from Vaishali where he lived earlier to the municipal shed next to the park. He tells me about the antics of the dogs, who have names like Langdi Lalli, Choti Lalli, Badi Lalli, Chuhiya and Gora, for the umpteenth time, with the same excitement. One of them, he explains, is an ear doctor and he licks the ears of the others and keep them free of dirt and infection; two of them are _lafanga_s who hang out in a disreputable park across the road to eat scraps of meat dropped by the drunkards who haunt the park, and so on.
The dogs are a reminder that the callous city and the compassionate city are both here. As elsewhere. Yet, every time I see the old man surrounded by his dogs, relaxing in the middle of the night, in an almost empty park, I know Im still home.
—Samprati Pani
All photographs © Samprati Pani.
Cover image: A view of the Yamuna from its eastern bank.
* * *
\[i\] Rebecca Solnit, Introduction: Centers and Edges, in Rebecca Solnit and Joshua Jelly-Schapiro (eds), _Nonstop Metropolis: A New York City Atlas_. Oakland, California: University of California Press, 2016, p. 1.
\[ii\] For a discussion on the history of Jamnapaar and how it is entangled with the history and expansion of the city of Delhi, see Samprati Pani, Jamnapaar, _Motherland,_ issue on the Yamuna, 19 May 2021, [https://www.motherlandmagazine.com/yamuna/jamnapaar/](https://www.motherlandmagazine.com/yamuna/jamnapaar/)
\[iii\] Stephen P. Blake, _Shahjahanabad: The Sovereign City in Mughal India 16391739_, UK: Cambridge University Press, 1991, p. 58.
\[iv\] Report of the Delhi Town Planning Committee on its choice of site for the new imperial capital of Delhi, 13 July 1912, in Mushirul Hasan and Dinyar Patel (eds), _From Ghalibs Dilli to Lutyens New Delhi: A Documentary Record_. New Delhi: National Archives of India and Oxford University Press, 2014, p. 134.
\[v\] Letter from H. Wheeler, Secretary, Government of India, Home Department, to the Chief Secretary, Government of the United Provinces, on land acquisition on the left bank of the Jumna, 8 August 1912, in Hasan and Patel (eds), _From Ghalibs Dilli to Lutyens New Delhi_, p. 189.
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# Abuse, Chaos and Cruelty in Louisiana Juvenile Detention
![Black and white photo of a sign for Ware Youth Center, partly shrouded by grass.](https://static01.nyt.com/newsgraphics/2022/03/09/ware/assets/images/warebw_2-1440.jpg)
It was inhumane and we were children.
It felt like the end of the world.
Theyre going to find a way to put a bruise on you.
I still cant move forward with my life.
![Black and white photo of a low building complex in the background, surrounded by forest. A road leads up to the building.](https://static01.nyt.com/newsgraphics/2022/03/09/ware/assets/images/warebw_1-1440.jpg)
## Repeated abuses, overlooked complaints and a surge in suicide attempts at a detention center with powerful allies.
Oct. 30, 2022
*Update: On Tuesday, the Louisiana governor* *[asked for an investigation](https://www.nytimes.com/2022/11/01/us/louisiana-juvenile-detention-abuse.html)* *into conditions at Ware Youth Center**.*
**COUSHATTA, La.** — The last time Bridget Peterson saw her son Solan was through the window of a holding cell at Ware Youth Center, just two weeks after his 13th birthday. Even for such a small boy — a shade over five feet tall, barely 90 pounds — the cell looked cramped.
Four days later, he was dead by suicide. “I remember screaming, My boy is gone,’” Mrs. Peterson said.
![Solan Peterson standing in front of a white garage door, looking at the camera with a neutral expression. He wears a gray Buccaneers T-shirt, khaki shorts and a backpack and holds a red bag.](https://static01.nyt.com/newsgraphics/2022/03/09/ware/52cd2beed39ef100203a7bfff85c5a8b63cbfaf3/pics/solan.png)
Solan Peterson in 2018, on his final first day of school. He was sent to Ware Youth Center six months later. The Peterson Family
She soon learned that another child at Ware had killed himself two days before. Then she learned that her son had been isolated in that bare cell for at least four days, even though state rules said he shouldnt have spent a single night there. The guards, who were supposed to check on him every 15 minutes, hadnt done so for more than two hours, just as they had neglected to check on the other boy, state regulators records and surveillance footage show.
“Its like, what on earth is going on?” she said.
For a few days in February 2019, the back-to-back suicides flashed across the news cycle around northwest Louisiana. But inside the walls at Ware, one of the states largest juvenile detention facilities, children have been trying to kill themselves with stunning regularity.
There were at least 64 suicide attempts at Ware in 2019 and 2020, a rate higher than at any other juvenile facility in the state. Children have tied socks, towels and sheets around their necks. They have swallowed baby powder, screws, fluid from an ice pack. Two tried to drown themselves.
Escape attempts are surging, too: At least 91 children have tried to flee since the beginning of 2019, a little more than 5 percent of those held at Ware in that period. In June 2020, a girl told staff members that she was going to run away in hopes that the police would take her to “the big jail” rather than back to Ware, records show. A second told staff members at Ware that she would rather be sent to a psychiatric hospital than spend another day there. Soon after, she tried to kill herself by leaping from a roof.
Behind any attempt at suicide lies a tangle of factors. But what has happened at Ware has brought into sharp focus pervasive despair among children there that no one is going to rescue them from repeated acts of physical violence, sexual assault and psychological torment, an investigation by The New York Times and the Investigative Reporting Program at the University of California, Berkeley, Graduate School of Journalism found.
For years, Wares leaders have failed to report complaints of abuse, hired unqualified employees and disregarded state rules. Records offer no evidence that state regulators have ever fined or punished Ware, or threatened its contracts, even as inspectors have documented the same failings year after year. Local law-enforcement officials have been largely dismissive of sexual-abuse allegations at Ware.
The Times/Berkeley investigation — based on more than 100 interviews with people previously held at Ware and current and former staff members, thousands of pages of records and court documents, and hours of security footage — reveals how a place meant to offer children care and rehabilitation instead descended into chaos and cruelty. Guards beat and choked their wards. Several forced children to endure sexual abuse as the price for phone privileges. They frequently maintained control by bribing children with food to assault other children.
“I used to tell myself Im not going to ever get through this stuff,” Asia Perkins, the girl who threw herself off the roof, said in an interview.
In interviews and documents, 42 people held at Ware over the last 25 years described being sexually abused by staff members. Many accounts were corroborated by relatives, others once held at Ware or court records. In all, they identified 30 staff members who had sexually abused children at Ware; one of the accused, a longtime manager, still works there. Yet many said they had remained silent at the time, out of fear of retaliation or the understanding that others complaints had been simply brushed aside.
“Basically, you cant do nothing, you cant go tell on them,” said Shakira Williams, who spent about a year and a half at Ware.
Ware declined to comment for this article.
The center may be extreme in some respects, but it embodies the chronic dysfunctions of Americas juvenile justice systems, their stubborn resistance to decades of exposés and waves of reform. In Louisiana, where brutal conditions prompted juvenile justice reform two decades ago, the system is again in crisis. Amid chronic staffing shortages, a succession of headline-grabbing uprisings and escapes is being met with measures once banned, such as arming some guards with Tasers.
Ware, in Red River Parish, is also emblematic of the systems pervasive racial imbalances. Roughly three-quarters of the children held there are Black, many from urban areas hours away from this part of the state, which violently opposed Reconstruction and fought school desegregation into the late 1970s. Most Ware guards are Black, as well, though nearly all of its leaders are white, as are the local judge, sheriff and district attorney.
Yet central to the story of Ware are the politics and protocols of this patch of northwest Louisiana forest and bayou, where a handful of influential men harnessed their power to direct millions of state dollars to the construction and nurturing of what is now a major regional employer, while insulating it from outside intervention. “They had their political ducks in a row,” said Mary Livers, who until 2016 ran the states Office of Juvenile Justice. “It was pretty well protected.”
At the same time, allegations of abuse at Ware have frequently received superficial scrutiny from the local criminal-justice system. Year after year, records and interviews show, the sheriffs office conducted cursory investigations, sometimes failing to interview key witnesses or rejecting out of hand allegations from children they viewed as incorrigible criminals. Julie Jones, who has prosecuted three Ware guards for sexual abuse in her 13 years as district attorney, offered each of them plea bargains that kept them out of prison and off sex-offender registries.
“I do not like the idea of burdening someone with a charge that they do not deserve,” Ms. Jones said in an interview.
Asked if those cases gave her concerns about the safety of children at Ware, she responded: “Were talking about armed robbers and murderers. And these girls havent even hit the age of 18 yet, some of them. Do I worry about their safety? No, I dont. I think that theyre quite capable of taking care of themselves.”
In fact, while some of the children at Ware are held for violent crimes, a vast majority are girls and boys like Solan Peterson, sent there for nonviolent offenses or infractions as minor as skipping school. “We knew there would be consequences,” his mother said, “but my kid didnt deserve to die because he set fire to a roll of toilet paper in a school.”
![](https://static01.nyt.com/newsgraphics/2022/03/09/ware/assets/images/wareyouth_45-1440.jpg)
Joseph Rushmore for The New York Times Joseph Rushmore for The New York Times
### Last Line of Defense
On Thursday nights in the late 1980s, some of the most powerful men in northwest Louisiana — judges, sheriffs deputies and politicians from seven neighboring parishes — began meeting at the Catfish Bend restaurant south of town to discuss a shared problem: where to send local children who broke the law.
Some of Louisianas larger parishes had their own juvenile detention centers. But in small parishes like Red River, officials had to hope they could snag empty beds — at considerable expense — at a center in, say, Lafayette or Baton Rouge, several hours away.
One Catfish Bend participant was Donald Kelly, a close confidant of Gov. Edwin Edwards. As the Democratic floor leader in the State Senate, Mr. Kelly wielded significant influence over the state budget; now he would use it to secure funding for a juvenile facility serving all seven parishes. Red River is one of Louisianas least populous parishes, but Mr. Kelly said in an interview that he worked to have the new center built there, in the place where he grew up and where his former law partner was the judge.
![Black and white headshot of Donald Kelly.](https://static01.nyt.com/newsgraphics/2022/03/09/ware/52cd2beed39ef100203a7bfff85c5a8b63cbfaf3/triptych/DonKellyheadhsot1980s.jpeg)
Donald Kelly, former state senator.
![Black and white headshot of Kenny Loftin.](https://static01.nyt.com/newsgraphics/2022/03/09/ware/52cd2beed39ef100203a7bfff85c5a8b63cbfaf3/triptych/KennyLoftinHeadshot.jpeg)
Kenny Loftin, director of Ware, 1993-2015 and 2021-22.
![Black and white headshot of Richard Ware.](https://static01.nyt.com/newsgraphics/2022/03/09/ware/52cd2beed39ef100203a7bfff85c5a8b63cbfaf3/triptych/RichardWarePhoto.jpeg)
Richard Ware, Red River Parish district judge.
The center would be named for that judge, Richard Ware. Its director would be Kenny Loftin, a 29-year-old child-abuse investigator recommended by Mr. Kelly and voted in by Wares founders. As one Catfish Bend participant put it, Mr. Loftin was “Donnies guy.”
Ware opened in 1993, at a time when Louisiana was earning a reputation for operating one of the countrys worst juvenile systems. A series of scandals led to the closing of all privately run juvenile facilities, and in 2000, the federal government assumed oversight of those run by the state.
But Ware was neither private nor state-run. It was a “political subdivision” of the state, created by legislation and overseen by a board composed of many of the men who met at Catfish Bend. This structure offered them and their charismatic new director ready access to tax dollars and far more independence from regulators.
Ware began to grow. In addition to the detention center, for children arrested and awaiting disposition of their cases, it added group homes for children with substance abuse and behavioral problems. And with Mr. Loftin working his political connections, Ware won a no-bid contract to house every girl in Louisiana sentenced to secure care — the states most restrictive form of detention for children convicted of crimes — along with $5 million to build new girls dormitories.
One of the first to arrive would be Shakira Williams. On Sept. 30, 2009, nearly 300 miles to the south, Shakira woke up at Florida Parishes Juvenile Detention Center expecting a routine Wednesday. Instead, she recalls, she and about a dozen other girls were shackled and loaded into a van headed for Ware.
Shakira, 16 at the time, had entered the juvenile system the year before. Her mother struggling with addiction, Shakira had turned to theft to support her siblings. “I was the oldest, and I had to step up. Or I thought I had to,” she said in an interview. She got caught and was put in a group home. When she was arrested again — for possessing an acquaintances gun — she was sentenced to secure care at Florida Parishes.
![Shakira Williams wearing a red T-shirt, facing the camera and slightly smiling.](https://static01.nyt.com/newsgraphics/2022/03/09/ware/52cd2beed39ef100203a7bfff85c5a8b63cbfaf3/diptychs/shakira-2012.png)
Shakira Williams at 18, soon after her release. She was sent to Ware in 2009, amid the facilitys expansion.
![Shakira Williams standing in front of a brick building wearing a blue tank top. She is looking to the right of the frame and slightly smiling.](https://static01.nyt.com/newsgraphics/2022/03/09/ware/52cd2beed39ef100203a7bfff85c5a8b63cbfaf3/diptychs/shakira-1.jpg)
Ms. Williams in 2020, age 27. She recalls being locked up for 23 hours a day. Rachel Lauren Mueller
There the program was tailored to girls, many of whom had histories of sexual abuse or pregnancy. Florida Parishes is just an hour from New Orleans and Baton Rouge, where most of the girls were from. “We were doing good work with girls,” Joseph Dominick, an administrator at Florida Parishes, said. “Why send them so far up north?”
Shakira was struck by the “straight cotton fields” as the van drew closer to Ware, she recalls. “There were a lot of things that would upset an African-American kid,” she said.
At Ware — the detention center, school and several group homes surrounded by 125 acres of forest — Shakira found a place that seemed to view her as irredeemable. Training materials in use since at least 2014 teach employees that “society” expects them to serve “as their last line of defense in protecting their community from those deemed unfit to live among them.”
At Florida Parishes, days had been carefully structured with school and therapy; misbehavior was met with five-minute timeouts. But with Wares new girls dormitories still unfinished, Shakira said, she was placed in a cell and put on “23 and 1” — 23 hours a day locked up, with one hour out to shower. She and other girls said they were kept on lockdown until the new housing was ready.
Eleanor Morgan, a former supervisor with decades of experience in other juvenile facilities, said she had never seen lockdown used as much as at Ware. Experts have long known that prolonged isolation is harmful to childrens neurological development. In 2013, the state limited lockdown to 72 hours. But Ware continued confining children for far longer, five people held at Ware said. One said she had been kept on lockdown for two months.
![Close-up of Eleanor Morgan, facing the camera, in dark-framed glasses and a black top.](https://static01.nyt.com/newsgraphics/2022/03/09/ware/52cd2beed39ef100203a7bfff85c5a8b63cbfaf3/pics/eleanor_morgan_still.png)
“Ware is not being held accountable for the staff that they hire, for the lack of training that they give to their staff and the safety of the kids,” said Eleanor Morgan, a former Ware supervisor. Rachel Lauren Mueller and Meg Shutzer/“8 Days at Ware”
What made lockdown worse, several said, were psychiatric drugs — common in juvenile facilities — that left them feeling like “zombies.” Forced to take Seroquel and Prozac but fearing their effects, Shakira would hide the pills under her tongue and stow them under her mattress, she said.
“I dont know how they function with the amount of medications some of them were on,” said Janice McCanliss, who worked at Ware until 2019.
Wares policies prohibit “the inflicting of physical pain on a youth for punishment.” But a majority of those interviewed for this article who had been held at Ware or worked there said guards routinely punished, degraded or inflicted pain.
One favored takedown, they said, was “chicken wings”: Guards would cross your arms behind your back, then force them up until it seemed that your shoulders would pop out of their sockets. Patricia Bell, who still works at Ware, said in an interview in 2020 that the technique had been part of the training until 2018. “Now you arent supposed to do the chicken wing,” she said. “Of course, they still do.” In reports to the state, Wares nurses described carpet burns on childrens faces and head-to-toe bruises from restraints.
For Shakira, the abuse didnt let up once she moved into Wares new dormitories. She was no longer locked up all day, but she and others once held at Ware overwhelmingly recalled a staff who tormented them. “They would say my mom didnt want me for nothing but a disability check,” said Dayja Nixon, incarcerated at Ware in 2017 and 2018. Six women said staff members had withheld sanitary pads as punishment. One recalled a white supervisor who treated Black children differently. “I frightened her; she called me an N-word,” she said.
Shakiras dorm supervisor, Tynica Haskett, inspired singular fear. Nine women once held at Ware said she would often painfully restrain and beat children. “It was like a drill,” said one former co-worker, Tracy Mosley. “She would go into the rooms on a rampage and flip the mattresses, take the kids down.”
Ms. Haskett, who no longer works at Ware, declined to comment.
Sometimes guards bribed children to beat up other children. “Theyd give us a sign” by gesturing toward the designated target, Shakira said. “Then, theyd take your order for shrimp or chicken.”
She remembered being constantly hungry, and said that when a female guard came into her room and kissed her, she went along, enduring sexual abuse for weeks in exchange for food. “Youve got to survive,” she said.
![A handwritten statement about abuses at Ware.](https://static01.nyt.com/newsgraphics/2022/03/09/ware/52cd2beed39ef100203a7bfff85c5a8b63cbfaf3/pics/incident_report.png)
“She gave me Laffy Taffy to be quiet,” wrote Cortasia Pree at age 15, in a statement about a guard who she said kissed two of her peers, including Shakira Williams.
Not all employees were abusive. Samyra Williams, held at Ware until 2020, recalled that she grew close to her units residential adviser; she called her “the mother that most children wish they had.”
But even the best intentions were challenged by Wares culture. Precious Sellers said she hoped to be a role model when she started as a guard in 2019. “That was knocked out of me the first time I went into Ware,” she said. She quit after a month.
![](https://static01.nyt.com/newsgraphics/2022/03/09/ware/assets/images/wareyouth_15-1440.jpg)
Joseph Rushmore for The New York Times Joseph Rushmore for The New York Times
### You Dont Have A Choice
In separate interviews, 29 people held at Ware over the past 25 years said they had endured sexual abuse by staff members. Incident reports and lawsuits reveal allegations from 13 more.
They described a range of abuses, from suggestive comments and lewd gestures to rape. One girl said baring her breasts was quid pro quo for access to library books. Another said a guard forced her to take photos on his cellphone of her touching her genitals. A third said she was 13 when a guard raped her. The next time he tried she fought back, only to be sprayed with Mace. The time after that, she said, she stopped resisting. Boys were abused, too. This past April, a female guard was captured on surveillance video orally raping a boy.
In some cases, guards continued to harass those held at Ware after they left. “U can b my boo n Ill be ur little secret,” one wrote to a 17-year-old on Facebook five months after her release.
Yet former residents and employees, in interviews, said Wares leaders were largely indifferent, even apathetic, in the face of abuse allegations.
In separate interviews, four women said a supervisor named Mallory Parson II had raped them. Another said he would enter her cell and strip-search her. Three others said he had sexually harassed them. Shakira Williams recalled his boasting about sexually assaulting girls — he called it “breathing.” He would say, “I need everyone to go to sleep so I can go breathe,” she said.
In an interview, Mr. Parson, who left Ware in 2013, described his accusers as criminals “from the streets” who should not be believed. “I never had intercourse with any of them girls,” he said. “We cant do that. Too many people, too many cameras.”
But the eight women who described Mr. Parsons conduct said it typically took place in the surveillance systems blind spots — the nurses bathroom, the laundry room, the holding cells. Indeed, records show that abuse has been happening in those places for years.
Gabryell Hardy, sent to Ware in 2009 at 14, was often locked in a holding cell where she came face to face with Mr. Parson. Isolated in the cell, she said, her heart would pound at the sound of jingling keys. She would cross her legs as Mr. Parson came in and sat next to her on the concrete bed. “His breath would stink, he would be so close,” she said. She would push him off, but he would not stop.
“Sometimes you just let him touch you, you just let him, because you dont have a choice,” she explained. Reporting him seemed futile, because his conduct was an open secret. “Thats their house,” she said. “Whatever they say goes.”
![Gabryell Hardy standing in front of an off-white house. She wears a gray top and is crossing her arms and looking to the left.](https://static01.nyt.com/newsgraphics/2022/03/09/ware/52cd2beed39ef100203a7bfff85c5a8b63cbfaf3/pics/gabhardy.jpg)
Gabryell Hardy was 14 and an orphan when she arrived at Ware in 2009. “Your life is already hard, then you get to someplace like Ware, and they show you they dont care,” said Ms. Hardy, now a mother of five, studying to be a chiropractor. Rachel Lauren Mueller
She considered hanging herself. “This is your life,” Ms. Hardy, now 27, recalls thinking. “This is it.”
Two women who said they had been sexually assaulted by Mr. Parson recalled reporting it to Wares administrators. Three employees — a guard, a supervisor and a teacher — said in interviews that they, too, had reported Mr. Parson for inappropriate sexual conduct. None of the five recalled any kind of investigation in response to their allegations, which came between 2005 and 2011.
It is unclear how Wares administrators responded to these complaints, if at all. Ware declined to produce records of abuse complaints against its employees. However, Mr. Parson said he had once been suspended while the sheriffs office investigated a sexual-abuse allegation against him. The inquiry ended in a matter of days, he said, adding that he had never been questioned. There is no record of him being charged.
Among the 30 staff members accused of sexual abuse at Ware — in incident reports that Ware submitted to the state, as well as court files and interviews — was the detention centers longtime manager, Raymond Lloyd Jr., an imposing man in his 50s who has worked there since it opened. Two women said Mr. Lloyd had groped them; one of them said he had stuck his fingers in her vagina. Four more described physical abuse.
Doreisha Martin, incarcerated at Ware more than a decade ago, remembered Mr. Lloyd entering the room as she was being restrained by several staff members. “He actually spat in my face,” she said. He pulled her head back by her hair and then, “Mr. Raymond, he choked me unconscious.”
![Doreisha Martin standing against a blue sky with clouds, looking to the right. She wears a gray hooded sweatshirt and a colorful headwrap.](https://static01.nyt.com/newsgraphics/2022/03/09/ware/52cd2beed39ef100203a7bfff85c5a8b63cbfaf3/pics/doreisha_martin.jpg)
Doreisha Martin, sent to Ware at 13, said she was physically and sexually abused there. Now 27, she said guards continue to harass her. “I still cant move forward with my life.” Megan Shutzer
All these years later, she says she still cant bear to have anyone behind her.
In May 2021, another child told her probation officer that Mr. Lloyd had choked her, an incident report shows. She is one of 15 children who described being choked by Ware employees. That same month, documents show, a third child confided to her probation officer that Mr. Lloyd had told her “he could touch her with one finger and make her melt.”
There is no evidence that any outside regulator looked into the accusations against Mr. Lloyd, who continues to work at Ware.
The Department of Children and Family Services said the May 2021 allegations had been investigated by the local sheriffs office — which, for its part, said neither accusation had even been reported. “Apparently this was an unfounded complaint investigated in-house,” Suzanne Gallier, chief of criminal investigations and narcotics for the Red River Parish Sheriffs Office, wrote on an incident report for both allegations. In an email, she said that the Office of Juvenile Justice had also assigned an investigator. But the general counsel for that agency said it would not have had jurisdiction to investigate.
The sheriffs office would not provide The Times with records of investigations into Ware employees. But Captain Gallier expressed skepticism about the childrens allegations. “You cant believe what these kids say,” she said, adding, “These kids come from all over the place, from down south, New Orleans, Baton Rouge. Theyre different, theyre a lot rougher.”
As the detention centers manager, Mr. Lloyd was supposed to receive reports of sexual abuse. But former staff members and people once held in the facility described his response as often grudging or dismissive. Mary Ann Wiggins, who taught at Ware for 14 years, said that when a student confided that Mr. Parson had assaulted her, she typed up a report and hand-delivered it to Mr. Lloyd. “I dont think Raymond appreciated that I believed the girl,” she said.
Former employees said they perceived a culture of “picks and chooses” that protected those with the right local connections, like Mr. Parson, whose father was a longtime Coushatta councilman. At least six of Mr. Lloyds relatives have worked at Ware. Ms. Morgan, the former supervisor, had one of his nephews on her shift; she feared retaliation if she reported him for even the smallest infraction.
“Coushatta look out for Coushatta people,” she explained.
Mr. Lloyd declined to comment.
![](https://static01.nyt.com/newsgraphics/2022/03/09/ware/assets/images/wareyouth_37-1440.jpg)
Joseph Rushmore for The New York Times Joseph Rushmore for The New York Times
### Malfeasance in Office
In 1997, David Adkins, a Red River Parish sheriffs deputy, learned that a Ware supervisor, Ronald Peace, had been sexually assaulting a 15-year-old girl in the laundry room.
Like pretty much everyone who would be involved in the case, Mr. Adkins was quite familiar with Ware. He was one of its founders and remained a board member.
Wares assistant director, Joey Cox, took the victims statement. Wares director, Mr. Loftin, was permitted to weigh in on what charges to bring.
The judge was another board member, Lewis Sams, and after Mr. Peaces conviction, he sentenced him to three years in prison. “Ron will be out in one to one and a half years max,” Mr. Adkins wrote in his journal after the sentencing, adding, “It doesnt help to try to keep kids from being sexually abused in Red River Parish.” In an interview, Mr. Sams said that he had informed Mr. Peaces lawyer that he was on the board, and that he had later stepped down to avoid possible conflicts. He declined to comment on the sentence.
> DA: Mr. Loftin, after the incident on October 17, were any procedures changed immediately after that?
>
> Loftin: Yes, sir. There were a lot of procedures changed. One thing, the kids… because of unrest at the facility, the kids were in lock-down for a couple of weeks there until we felt like we had control.
During grand jury proceedings in the case against Ronald Peace, a Ware supervisor, the district attorney questioned Mr. Loftin, Wares director.
###
The case would become emblematic of Red River Parishs handling of allegations of abuse at Ware. In fact, of the four guards convicted of sexually assaulting children at Ware, Mr. Peace would be the only one imprisoned. In interviews with former deputies who investigated abuse allegations at Ware, and in records from their investigations, a portrait of indifference emerges. The sheriffs office deferred to Ware officials like Mr. Lloyd on what video evidence was relevant. Witnesses were interviewed perfunctorily, if at all. Even the children reporting the abuse were not always interviewed.
“If there wasnt video or an eyewitness, there wasnt a lot we could do,” said Johnny Taylor, a former sheriffs detective. “Most of the girls in there, its hard to believe what they say. Theyre not in there for going to church on Sunday.”
One case he investigated involved 15-year-old Natalee Brannon. In January 2014, Natalee was sent to Ware after fighting with her mother, who had called the police hoping it would scare her into better behavior. When she came home two days later, she went straight to the shower. “Shes showering over and over and over and over and crying, and Im just thinking, God, why did I put her there?’” said her mother, Jennifer Denman.
![Natalee Brannon sitting at a kitchen table, looking at the camera. She wears an aqua tank top and has tattoos on her left arm.](https://static01.nyt.com/newsgraphics/2022/03/09/ware/52cd2beed39ef100203a7bfff85c5a8b63cbfaf3/diptychs/after-portraits/natalie_brannon.jpg)
Natalee Brannon, now 24, was 15 when she was held for two days at Ware, where she says she was raped by a guard. He was accused of raping two other girls and received a plea deal with probation. Rachel Lauren Mueller
Worried, Ms. Denman took her daughter to the hospital, where a nurse told her Natalee needed rape counseling.
That same week, another 15-year-old reported that a Ware supervisor, Christopher Morris, had repeatedly raped her. The detective reviewed video, provided by Ware, that showed Mr. Morris entering a bathroom with the girl, something male guards were forbidden to do. Mr. Taylor soon discovered that Mr. Morris had been alone in the bathroom with a second girl. When he learned of Natalees hospital visit, he suspected she might be a third.
Natalee was not ready to talk. (She would later say Mr. Morris had threatened her mothers life if she spoke.)
There is no evidence that Mr. Taylor looked into whether Mr. Morriss behavior extended beyond that week or if there were any other victims. Two of Mr. Morriss colleagues said they were never interviewed, including a guard who took the original complaint against him, and another who remembered his repeatedly taking “private phone calls” in the bathroom. Still, Mr. Taylor believed he had enough evidence to put Mr. Morris away for decades.
Instead, prosecutors offered Mr. Morris two years probation, without inclusion in the sex-offender registry, if he pleaded guilty to four counts of “malfeasance in office for sexual conduct” — a charge Louisiana prosecutors often use against prison guards accused of illicit sexual relationships.
The outcome surprised Mr. Taylor. “With someone not from here, you throw the book at them,” the detective said. (Mr. Morris declined to comment.)
Ms. Jones, the district attorney since 2009, said in an interview that in negotiating the plea, she had, among other things, looked to previous cases against Ware employees. Five years earlier, she had negotiated pleas with two other guards, the cousins Chiquita and Laquinta Ware, who were accused of sexually abusing two girls. (One was Shakira Williams.) They pleaded guilty to malfeasance in office and served probation.
“I try, whether it be right or wrong, for first offenders to give them a probationary period, unless theres an aggravated crime,” Ms. Jones said.
She would not elaborate on why there were no aggravating factors in the cases of sexual assault by Ware guards on incarcerated children.
“What I like to do is to say, Here is your opportunity to do different.’”
![](https://static01.nyt.com/newsgraphics/2022/03/09/ware/assets/images/wareyouth_6-1440.jpg)
Joseph Rushmore for The New York Times Joseph Rushmore for The New York Times
### Dog and Pony Show
Two state agencies oversee Louisianas juvenile system, and each has had ample opportunity to intervene at Ware.
The Office of Juvenile Justice, which provides much of Wares funding, assesses the effectiveness of therapeutic programs and investigates sexual-abuse allegations. The Department of Children and Family Services licenses Ware and is charged with ensuring compliance with state standards. Ware is legally required to notify both of serious incidents of abuse, and both have broad investigative authority.
They can also issue fines or revoke contracts and licenses. Neither agency has taken these steps against Ware. In fact, in audits dating back to 2012, the Office of Juvenile Justice has awarded Ware ratings of “effective,” “highly effective” and in “full compliance.”
Records and interviews offer evidence that state oversight is frequently superficial and easy to manipulate. Inspectors fail to uncover serious problems at Ware, and when they do identify shortcomings — often the same ones over and over — state officials rarely enforce demands for change.
From 2012 to 2019, for example, the Office of Juvenile Justice repeatedly found that Wares therapy programs for girls were delivered by untrained staff members, with little regard for girls individual needs. Each time, the agency reiterated its recommended improvements, yet as of last year, Wares counseling was still rated “noncompliant” with state standards. The agency declined to comment for this article.
Children and Family Services, meanwhile, has consistently found “deficiencies,” such as failing to disburse medication correctly or do timely mental-health evaluations. Each time, Ware has submitted a plan to address the issue; in many cases, inspectors have returned to find the same problems.
The state Department of Children and Family Services has repeatedly cited Ware for failing to disburse medication correctly — a deficiency that is not subject to a fine. Louisiana Department of Children and Family Services
Glenn Holt, a former assistant secretary of the Office of Juvenile Justice, recalled Mr. Loftin saying that state oversight was “a waste of time.”
“Hed make comments like, If at any given point I dont want to play with these guys, Im not worried,’” Mr. Holt said. “Cause if I shut my doors, I guarantee you got sheriffs, you got local law enforcement, you got people, judges that are going to be screaming at D.C.F.S., What the hell are you doing? Youre jeopardizing public safety.’”
When auditors showed up at Ware, Mr. Holt said, the director stage-managed “a dog and pony show.” Mr. Loftin, he said, would give a “big ol country boy smile,” and ask, “What can we do for you girls?”
Before inspections, there was a “mad rush to fix everything,” said Janice McCanliss, the former Ware guard. Children had their hair done. New bedding and rugs suddenly appeared. Inspectors often relied on Ware officials to choose which children would be interviewed, current and former staff members said. “They pick someone who is scared,” said Kaley Breaux, held at Ware in 2014 and 2015. “I was that one.”
![Kaley Breaux against a mostly dark background, with dots of light behind her. She is wearing a teal sweatshirt and looking into the camera.](https://static01.nyt.com/newsgraphics/2022/03/09/ware/52cd2beed39ef100203a7bfff85c5a8b63cbfaf3/diptychs/after-portraits/kaley_breaux.jpg)
Kaley Breaux in 2022. She said that shortly after she arrived at Ware in 2014, five guards painfully restrained her as punishment but that she did not tell state auditors when they interviewed her because she feared retribution. Rachel Lauren Mueller
Dr. Livers, the former juvenile justice secretary, described Mr. Loftin this way: “He thought he was the smartest, most excellent juvenile justice professional in the state of Louisiana. Who the hell has the audacity to tell him how to do anything?”
When Mr. Loftin retired and ran for sheriff in 2015, he was succeeded by his longtime deputy, Mr. Cox. Wares relationship to regulators, though, remained consistent. Ware is required by federal law, for example, to submit annual reports documenting all allegations of sexual abuse. In 2014, the year Christopher Morris was accused of sexually assaulting three girls, Ware reported no allegations of sexual abuse by detention center employees. It again reported none in 2018, when another guard was accused of sexually abusing a 16-year-old boy.
Mr. Loftin and Mr. Cox declined to comment.
Regulators had evidence that Ware was being less than candid in reporting “critical incidents.” Between 2017 and 2020, inspectors cited Ware nine times for failing to promptly and accurately report encounters between staff members and children that involved restraints or force. In a 10th incident, Ware reported that a guard had subdued a 13-year-old girl “with her hand in \[the childs\] neck area.” Video footage, however, showed something different: The guard had choked the girl for 14 seconds, an investigator for the Department of Children and Family Services found.
Surveillance video captured a guard choking a girl for 14 seconds. Soon after, local law enforcement handcuffed the girl and took her to the detention center. Upon a review of the footage, the staff was cleared of wrongdoing. Via Louisiana Department of Children and Family Services
The agency cited Ware for a single “deficiency,” then closed its investigation.
In a written statement, the agency said it had limited authority to issue fines or demand personnel changes. When conducting facility inspections, the agency added, its licensing staff — not Ware administrators — chooses whom to interview. The agency would not say whether it had ever considered revoking Wares licenses. “The department works with providers to implement corrective measures designed to alleviate cited deficiencies in order to maintain the providers licenses,” the statement said.
Meanwhile, at the Red River Parish Sheriffs Office, an investigator reviewed the video of the choking incident and cleared Wares staff of wrongdoing “due to the juveniles size and level of aggression.”
![](https://static01.nyt.com/newsgraphics/2022/03/09/ware/assets/images/wareyouth_4-1440.jpg)
Joseph Rushmore for The New York Times Joseph Rushmore for The New York Times
### One of the Safest
Alora Fountain had been crying all day.
It was March 7, 2017, and a guard had been taunting her that her grandmother didnt want her anymore, said her friend Keelye Denise. That day, Alora, 16, confided to a counselor that she had begun making herself throw up, and she told her friend that she wondered if her mother would miss her if she were gone.
At around 8 p.m., she wrapped a sheet around her neck. “All you see was her hanging,” Ms. Denise said.
Aloras death was a prelude to a rising tide of suicide attempts, runaway attempts and general dysfunction that converged the second week of February in 2019.
Jordan Bachman, a 17-year-old from Colorado, had arrived at Ware six weeks earlier, charged with disturbing the peace and resisting arrest while on a road trip with friends in Louisiana.
His mother, Patricia Bachman, drove to Ware to see him. He seemed uncharacteristically sad and subdued, she recalled.
On Thursday, Feb. 7, he was put in his cell after fighting in school, Lawrence Chisolm II, a classmate, said. Before the fight, he had written these words on a piece of paper: “dying inside.”
The shift supervisor that night was Travis Howard, who in the past had been disciplined for failing to report using force on a child; Wares leaders had promised regulators that he would be monitored to “ensure appropriate interactions with juveniles.”
It is not known what time Jordan hanged himself. He was found at 11:45 p.m. To this day, Ms. Bachman can hear the coroners voice, waking her with the news.
![Alora Fountain sitting on the grass wearing a white dress, looking up at the camera and slightly smiling.](https://static01.nyt.com/newsgraphics/2022/03/09/ware/52cd2beed39ef100203a7bfff85c5a8b63cbfaf3/pics/alora_fountain-1.jpg)
Alora Fountain died at Ware at age 16. Cristy Fowler
![Jordan Bachmans face, looking into the camera and squinting in the bright sun.](https://static01.nyt.com/newsgraphics/2022/03/09/ware/52cd2beed39ef100203a7bfff85c5a8b63cbfaf3/pics/Jordan1.jpeg)
Jordan Bachman died at Ware at age 17. Tim Bachman
The next morning, Wares assistant director, Staci Scott, reported to state regulators that she and Mr. Lloyd had reviewed video, and that room checks had been conducted every 15 minutes as required.
Those assurances were false. When state officials reviewed the footage, they saw that no one had checked on Jordan between 10 and 11:45. They also discovered that guards had falsified the room-check log.
Mr. Howard, the shift supervisor, said in an interview that it hadnt been his responsibility to check on Jordan. He denied the earlier allegation of assault.
Solan Peterson was at Ware that night — at 13, one of the youngest and smallest children there. Others saw him as the exasperating little brother who never stopped talking, never stopped fidgeting. “We would tell him, Chill out, man, chill out. You just tripping,” Mr. Chisolm recalled.
Solan certainly had his mental-health struggles — attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and anxiety, as well as trauma from his early childhood, before he was adopted. But he had never been in legal trouble until the week before, when he lit a roll of toilet paper on fire at school — the police found birthday candles and a lighter — and was sent to Ware. “I was assured that thats one of the safest facilities around,” his mother said.
Several days later, Solan, a boy who loved to tinker and take things apart, disassembled the light in his cell and picked the lock on the door. When he was caught, he was placed in isolation.
![Black and white photo of a small cell with light walls, a dark bed on the left side and a door that opens inward.](https://static01.nyt.com/newsgraphics/2022/03/09/ware/52cd2beed39ef100203a7bfff85c5a8b63cbfaf3/pics/ware_cell.jpg)
The cell where Solan was held for four days. State law forbids isolation longer than four hours. Via Louisiana Department of Children and Family Services
Mental-health professionals would likely have warned that putting a child with Solans psychological profile in isolation would be a special torment. By then, he should have had a full mental-health assessment. But that didnt come until three days later, Feb. 8. According to an incident report filed after his death, the social worker who met with him said Solan had been “curious” about Jordans suicide but “did not voice any suicidal ideations” and had been “joking and in a good mood.”
At one point — it is not clear exactly when — Cora Sepulvado, a 15-year-old tasked with cleaning the area, overheard Solan in tears, pleading for help and telling a guard that he wanted to die. The guard, she said, “told the boy, If you want to be killing yourself, just do it, because people just be saying that.’”
Under state rules, isolation should not exceed four hours. By Saturday, Feb. 9, Solan had been in isolation for four days.
Though Jordan had died two nights earlier, guards once again skipped the required 15-minute checks. Video shows the shift supervisor, Jhanquial Smith, checking on Solan at 9:13. Then, for more than an hour, nothing. At 10:45, Travis Howard, once again on duty, walked by without checking, records show.
At 11:30, Mr. Smith finally looked in on Solan. He had hanged himself.
Another guard dropped to his knees and sobbed. A distraught boy pounded the walls of his cell. In the background, the YNW Melly song “Murder on My Mind” played from a speaker.
The suicides touched off the usual round of regulatory inquiries. Investigators cited Ware for improper supervision, the seventh time in just over three years. For the third time, the state found a failure to do timely mental-health assessments. Also for the third time, it found that Ware was keeping children in holding cells too long.
But as with all the other citations, these carried no financial penalty or other actions against Wares license or leadership. Questioned about the suicides at a public meeting, a senior official with the Office of Juvenile Justice said the states investigation “didnt find concerns.”
Five months after the suicides, the agency awarded Ware a new $450,000 contract — to supervise at-risk youth.
In September 2020, the district attorney brought malfeasance-in-office charges against Mr. Smith and another guard for failing to check on Solan. Mr. Smith is awaiting trial; the other guard has since died.
Ms. Jones said she “did not believe that criminal charges were warranted” in Jordans death, despite the video showing that guards had failed to check on him, too. She declined to elaborate.
Wares administrators introduced changes, including a system to enforce room checks. Yet children continued to be at risk.
On Christmas Eve 2019, a guard was arrested on charges of battering a child at Ware. In 2020, a guard was arrested on charges of helping children slip out at night to go on burglary sprees. In 2021, a guard was arrested on charges of taking a bribe to help a child escape. This past May, a guard was arrested on charges of sexually assaulting a boy in the laundry room and then helping him and two other boys escape.
But the clearest indicator of crisis at Ware is the number of suicide attempts.
Of the 243 recorded across Louisianas juvenile facilities in 2019 and 2020, a quarter were at Ware, though it holds only about 5 percent of the systems beds. (The state did not provide comparable data for 2021.)
One child who tried to kill herself was Cora Sepulvado. Her breaking point, she said in an interview, came soon after Solans death, following incidents of physical abuse and torment by guards.
![Cora Sepulvado in front of a Toy Story sign, looking at the camera and wearing a black polo shirt and khaki pants.](https://static01.nyt.com/newsgraphics/2022/03/09/ware/52cd2beed39ef100203a7bfff85c5a8b63cbfaf3/diptychs/before-portraits/cora-before-copy.jpg)
Cora Sepulvado, during her incarceration. She said she had often been locked up by herself. Via Cora Sepulvado
![Cora Sepulvado, standing with a backdrop of trees behind her, looking at the camera and wearing a dark T-shirt and blue sweatshirt.](https://static01.nyt.com/newsgraphics/2022/03/09/ware/52cd2beed39ef100203a7bfff85c5a8b63cbfaf3/diptychs/after-portraits/cora.jpg)
“I just wanted somebody to listen to me,” said Ms. Sepulvado, now 19. Rachel Lauren Mueller
Standing on a chair, in tears, preparing to hang herself, she noticed something odd: a guard holding up a cellphone, recording it all. “I looked at them, like why arent yall stopping me?” she said. Three guards confirmed that their colleague had been filming.
One of those guards walked into the building just as Cora kicked the chair out from under her feet and rushed to take her down. But for Cora, now 19 and trying to complete high school, the sight of the guard filming her answered a question she had often been forced to confront at Ware: Was anyone actually going to help her?
“Thats all I really wanted to know — if somebody really cared.”
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# After Christendom
Jean-Luc Marion (b. 1946) and Chantal Delsol (b. 1947) are both prominent French philosophers who are very public about their Roman Catholicism. This alone would put them, in the minds of many of their fellow citizens, into “conservative” political and cultural camps, though the truth is considerably more complicated. This past year saw the appearance in English translation of Marions 2017 book, [*A Brief Apology for a Catholic Moment*](https://press.uchicago.edu/ucp/books/book/chicago/B/bo48117802.html), and the publication of Delsols *La Fin de la Chrétienté*. Both of these short works grapple with the role of the Church in a dechristianized culture; both show the complex negotiations required to steer between what Marion calls the “twin and rival disasters” of integralism, which seeks to establish a Christian social order, and progressivism, which risks letting any distinctively Christian identity evaporate.
Religion has, of course, played a very different role in modern, highly secular France than it has in the United States (which Delsol calls a *pays biblico-revolutionnaire*—a biblical-revolutionary land), but the differences may not be as great as is sometimes claimed. As shown by the “Quiet Revolution” in Quebec in the 1960s, and by more recent cultural changes in Ireland, the secularization of seemingly robust religious cultures can happen very quickly, and there is reason to think that our own country is undergoing just such a shift. So Marion and Delsols books can help us contemplate our own likely more secular future.
Jean-Luc Marion first came to the attention of English-speaking readers three decades ago with the publication in translation of *God Without Being*. This work of philosophical theology embraced the postmodern critique of “onto-theology” while drawing some surprising conclusions from that critique, including a robust defense of that seemingly most ontological of theological doctrines: transubstantiation. Because of its sometimes counterintuitive intellectual moves and its postmodern Heideggerian idiolect, this book helped secure Marions reputation as a challenging and highly speculative thinker. But Marion is also a practicing Catholic who cares passionately about the place of the Church in the postmodern world. In *A Brief Apology* he offers what he characterizes as an exercise in practical reasoning in an interrogative mode, pursuing the question of the role Catholics can and should play in French society. (Like Delsol, he makes only passing reference to non-Catholic Christians.)
Marion argues that the situation in France, and the West in general, is so dire that in order to avoid complete societal dissolution, “we must make an appeal to all the resources and all the strengths. Even the Catholic ones.” He chooses to characterize this situation as “decadence,” rather than “crisis.” This decadence is in fact “a crisis of crisis,” by which he means something like what Nietzsche meant by modern nihilism in his *Twilight of the Idols*: “I do not know where I am or what I am to do; I am everything that knows not where it is or what to do,—sighs the modern man.” This also echoes the critique of modernity made over half a century ago by Hans Urs von Balthasar, one of Marions intellectual mentors, in *The Moment of Christian Witness*. It is precisely by the infinite deferral of the moment of crisis that the modern world defeats the Gospel, since the Gospel is a call to crisis that demands a decision. The modern allergy to crisis undermines not only Catholicism but also Western society itself. “We are not falling into the abyss, we are suffering from a stagnant decadence.”
Marion employs Augustines critique of Rome as a republic that failed to embody true justice, which requires worship of the true God. Marion argues that because divine grace gives Christians access to justice, “they alone can uphold, always only partially, but always effectively, earthly cities to which they fundamentally do not belong.” It is precisely the “outsider” status of Christians in society that allows them to press beyond narrow national interests to true justice and communion. The French Republics motto—*liberté, égalité, fraternité*—is realizable only if there is a universal paternity that unites all people: “The only Father conceivable who can ensure just and actual brotherhood, because it ensures union in communion, is found in heaven; only from there can it come to earth.” Marion quickly notes that the Republic, being a secular state, obviously cannot incorporate this into its motto, much less into its constitution, yet “Catholics can witness to this paternity in a society of orphans.”
**Given the strong connection he draws** between Christianity and true justice, Marions embrace of the secularity (*laïcité*) of the French Republic might seem surprising. This embrace distances him from integralism and its arguments in favor of a Christian political order, which he dismisses as “an illusion.” But he does it also for positive theological reasons, invoking thinkers such as Ivan Illich and Charles Taylor to argue that first Judaism and then Christianity “desacralize” the world, and worldly politics along with it. His exposition and defense of *laïcité* depend upon a dual use of this term: on the one hand, it can be a neutral word for the secular spheres renunciation of competence in religious matters; on the other, it can mean an aggressively secular anti-religion. The more neutral sense of the term simply identifies a realm distinct from the sacred, part of the structure of difference that is integral to the providential order of the world. *Laïcité* in the negative sense is precisely the violation of this structure of difference, an overstepping of the profane into the realm of the sacred, the former banishing and replacing the latter. Marion writes that this sort of *laïcité* could become “a fourth monotheism, like the first monotheism without God, the most abstract and therefore the most dangerous.”
In defending a positive notion of *läicité*, Marion appeals to Pascals distinction between the orders of bodies, minds, and charity to argue for the incommensurability of these three orders and for the primacy of the order of charity. This distinction “allows us to identify the neutrality of the state with the first order”—i.e. the states proper sphere of concern is the bodily acts of its citizens—“and to validate its *positive* powerlessness to see (and, what is more, to judge) the order of mind (freedom of thought, research, etc.) and above all the order of charity (freedom of conscience, of belief and unbelief, or religion and of change of religion).” True *laïcité* requires that the state embrace its blindness and incompetence with regard to religious belief. Marion draws from Pascal here, but an American might be forgiven for hearing echoes of John Courtney Murray.
When Marion turns to the positive contribution the Church can make to society, he points again to the “outsider” or “otherworldly” status of Christians: “They make the world less unlivable, because their aim is not to set themselves up in it in perpetuity, but to begin to live in the world according to another logic, and in fact they already belong to another world.” The Christian orientation toward another logic, another world, and ultimately to a transcendent Other, lies at the heart of Marions account of what Christianity offers to the postmodern West. He sees the triumph of the market in the West as a form of practical nihilism that obliterates difference by reducing everything to its economic value: “The economy rests on a possibility of abstraction, which reduces each and every thing to money, and thus establishes equivalence between things that in reality have nothing in common; whence the possibility of universal exchange.” Our mania to put a price tag on everything obliterates difference, reducing it to a monetary sameness in which things are distinguished not qualitatively but quantitatively. Such a reduction destroys our capacity to apprehend a good that is qualitatively other.
This is the societal manifestation of Nietzsches will-to-power, the will that wills no good except its own increase. Such a will, Marion writes, makes a person “a slave of the worst of masters, himself,” and to be liberated from this bondage involves “attaining and setting up a thing for a good, a thing in itself, which is a thing outside of me.” This is precisely what Christianity offers: “He alone tears himself from nihilism who, in imitating Christ, succeeds in not willing his own will (to will), in order to will *elsewhere* and *from elsewhere.*” Such a good can become the common good of a society because, while irreducibly other in its transcendence over the world, it is not abstract in the way monetary value is; rather, it is concretely “accomplished in the Trinity and manifested in a trinitarian manner by Christ.” This offers “a political model that is at base non-political…a community that aims at communion, because in fact it comes from communion.”
The appeal to the life of the Trinity and the life of God incarnate provides an opening for Marion to conclude his *Brief* *Apology* with a discussion of the phenomenon of the gift, a theme he has explored in other works. Rejecting the model of “gift-exchange,” which links giving and getting, Marion sees gift as following “the logic of erotic phenomena”: “It creates the eventual conditions of a gift in return, but does not depend on the reality of the return on investment, or expect it.” This erotic logic helps address the issue of the exercise of power by Christians. Because the gift is given without expectation of return, the Catholic citizen can, like Christ himself, offer to the political community his or her gift of witness to true communion without demanding political power either as a precondition or an expected award.
**Unlike Marion, Chantal Delsol is a thinker already known for her political philosophy** and *[La Fin de la Chrétienté](https://www.editionsducerf.fr/librairie/livre/19337/la-fin-de-la-chretiente)* (“The End of Christendom”) continues an already well-developed line of inquiry. Her approach, influenced by her teacher Julien Freund and his appropriation of the thought of Max Weber, is marked by a philosophical anthropology that acknowledges the social and historical construction of human identity without totally abandoning the idea of human nature. In this sense, her project is not unlike that of Alasdair MacIntyre. It leads her to pay close attention to the play of historical contingencies in such notions as human dignity. Rather than a static identity, human nature is a dynamic, evolving reality—indeed, if anything is “essential” to our nature it is our ceaseless desire to exceed that nature. As she writes memorably of the human person in her book, *Quest-ce que lhomme?* (“What Is a Human Being?”): “Rooted, he wants to be emancipated from his roots. Put another way, he seeks an inaccessible dwelling place through a succession of temporary way stations.” The result is an Augustinian anthropology of the “restless heart” inflected by postmodern historical consciousness. All of this informs her account of the fate of Christianity in the contemporary West.
English speakers might be misled by the title of *La Fin de la Chrétienté*. The term *Chréienté* refers not to what we would call “Christianity,” understood as a community of belief and practice (what the French call *christienisme*), but rather to the socio-political formation that we refer to as “Christendom.” Delsol describes this as “the civilization inspired, ordered, guided by the Church,” which endured for sixteen centuries, beginning with Theodosiuss victory in the Battle of the Frigid River in 394 AD, but which is now in its death throes. Delsols book might be thought of as a preemptive autopsy, comparing a dying Christendom with the death of pagan civilization in the late ancient world—a death brought about by Christendom itself.
Delsol begins by examining how a Church that so resolutely resisted modernity for two centuries in the name of Christian civilization has since the 1960s come to embrace such modern values as religious freedom—values utterly at odds with Christendom. She offers an analysis of early twentieth-century fascism and corporatism as integralist attempts to save Christendom that “proved to be worse than the disease.” Animated by a utopian nostalgia that proved to be merely the mirror image of modernitys utopian futurism, these sorts of movements fell prey to those, such as Charles Maurras, who wanted Christendom but couldnt care less about Christianity itself. In the end, Delsol argues, such movements proved to be nothing but “the convulsions of a dying Christendom.”
While both Marion and Delsol see integralism as a doomed effort to resuscitate Christendom, Delsol is less confident than Marion that Christendom can be replaced by a benign form of *laïcité*, in part because she is generally skeptical that any society can in fact be secular. Secularity is a fantasy indulged in by intellectuals, but for ordinary people, “for whom common sense whispers that there are mysteries behind the door,” religion of some sort is unavoidable. Our present moment, she argues, is not one of secularization but of revolution “in the strict sense of a cyclical return.” Ancient paganism is reborn, albeit in new forms marked by the sixteen intervening centuries of Christendom. This revolution involves a kind of Nietzschean transvaluation both in morals (what she calls “the normative inversion”) and in worldview (“the ontological inversion”). Delsol tries to retain a certain analytic detachment in describing these inversions of prior moral norms, casting herself as an observer of this moment of historical transition rather than as a partisan. Still, she insists on the significance of this inversion. She believes that the mores of a society form the basic architecture of its existence, a structure more stable than codified laws, shaping not only the actions of those who belong to it but also their feelings and habits. As any parent will recognize (Delsol is the mother of six), “children are always educated by their times more than by their parents.”
**To shed light on our own times**, Delsol looks back to the birth of Christendom, the last great inversion of norms in the West. She insists on two claims that might seem contradictory at first: the advent of Christendom was a radical break with the pagan past, and it was also unthinkable without that past as the basis on which it built. Christians constructed their civilization using elements of pagan culture, in particular Stoic morality, though now “democratized” and reframed within a new system of beliefs that transformed what was appropriated. Like Marion, Delsol sees “otherness” as a key to the innovation of Christianity. In contrast to the profoundly unified religious world of the Romans, in which the gods and humanity were fellow citizens of the cosmos, Christianity “introduced a dualism between the temporal and the spiritual, the here-and-now and the beyond, human beings and God.” The advent of Christendom brought a sharp reversal of societal attitudes regarding divorce, abortion, infanticide, suicide, and homosexuality. Delsol evinces a keen sympathy for those pagan Romans, conservators of traditional values, who felt that with the advent of Christendom they had entered “an intellectual and spiritual world torn apart,” and she shows genuine admiration for those who continued to battle in the face of what was clearly inevitable defeat.
So too in our own day the partisans of Christendom fight in service of what is manifestly a lost cause. Delsol points to shifts in both laws and popular attitudes toward divorce, abortion, and assisted reproduction. Though there are pockets of resistance to these developments (particularly, she notes, in the United States), the path of this arc is clear: “Humanitarianism, the morality of today, is a morality entirely oriented toward the well-being of the individual, without any vision of the human person \[*vision anthropologique*\].” What we see is an “inversion of the inversion,” an undoing of the revolution of the fourth century that turned the ideals of Christianity into socially enforced norms. Some would say that this is the result of our progressive realization of the inviolability of individual conscience with regard to ultimate questions, but Delsol resists narratives of progress: “In each era, progress consists simply in reconciling realities (laws, customs, mores) with diffuse and sometimes as yet unexpressed beliefs that evolve in silence.”
This suggests that human beings are not simply behavers, but also believers. The moral norms of the ancient world changed because the beliefs of Christianity supplanted those of paganism, making long-accepted pagan practices suddenly appear odious. Delsol quotes Tacitus: “\[Christians\] hold profane all that we hold as sacred and, on the other hand, permit all that we hold to be abominable.” Like Marion, Delsol ascribes to Judaism and Christianity a key role in de-sacralizing the world. The dualism of Christianity, with its transcendent God standing over and against the world He created, replaced the “cosmotheism” of antiquity, which saw the cosmos itself as saturated with divinity. Or, more precisely, monotheism was layered on top of cosmotheism, a “secondary religion” covering over (but just barely) the “primary religion” of humanity, which “arises, so to speak, on its own, proliferates without fertilizer, and instantly occupies and reoccupies a place as soon as it is free.” This reoccupation of the space vacated by Christendom is what we face today. Christianity has been replaced not by atheism and secularity, as the Enlightenment *philosophes* foretold, but by a religion “more primitive and more rustic.”
Today this primitive and rustic cosmotheism takes various forms, perhaps most powerfully in the emergence of environmentalism as a kind of popular religion. Nietzsche was right in pointing to the “otherworldliness” of Christianity as a repudiation of the ancient world, and the contemporary repudiation of Christendom is fueled by a desire to focus again on this world as our true home. “For the monotheist, this world is only a temporary lodging. For the cosmotheist it is a dwelling. The postmodern spirit is tired of living in a lodging…. It wants to be reintegrated into the world as a full citizen, and not as a resident alien.’”
Delsol notes the numerous writers who have described modernity as parasitic on Christianity, but she prefers to speak of modernity as a “palimpsest” written over the Christian text, just as Christianity was written over the text of antiquity. This is always the way that human societies work: “Using all the possible materials” from the past “but depriving them of their meaning in order to reinvent them for the benefit of a new epoch.” Just as Christendom replaced paganism, a religion founded on mythos, with one that claimed to be founded on truth—and persecuted those who denied that truth—so now, in our postmodern moment, “truth” has once again been eclipsed by mythos. Yet this new mythos is ineradicably marked by the Christian appeal to “truth,” for it does not breed tolerance, as the myths of antiquity did, but retains the universalism of the Christendom that it has overwritten. For Delsol, the “woke” have “taken over the concept of dogmatic truth, and excluded their adversaries from public life, just as the Church had excommunicated in times past.” The fate of the West is neither nihilism nor ancient pagan religion, but humanitarianism, “the evangelical virtues…recycled to become a kind of common morality.” But, Delsol asks, “what will become of principles that can no longer permanently replenish themselves, their source having been banished?” We are left with what Delsol calls, invoking Flannery OConnors *Wise Blood*, “the Church without Christ,” and one suspects that Delsol would agree with OConnor in *A Memoir of Mary Ann* that, in the absence of faith, “we govern by…a tenderness which, long since cut off from the person of Christ, is wrapped in theory. When tenderness is detached from the source of tenderness, its logical outcome is terror.”
Blame for this outcome can be laid at the feet of Christendom itself: “In its pretention to establish itself as a civilization, Christianity ended up producing a monstrous avatar that is at the same time its alter-ego and its mortal enemy.” But, Delsol reminds us, Christendom is not Christianity, and the demise of the former is not the demise of the latter. She is inclined to cast a jaundiced eye at excessive Christian breast-beating over the past, “which can resemble masochism.” We rightly judge aspects of Christendom to have been distortions of the Gospel, but Delsol, the good historicist, sees little point in condemning those in the past who did not have the benefit of our hindsight. Delsol comes neither to praise nor to condemn Christendom, but to bury it.
She is concerned, however, that in their reasonable fear of repeating the errors of Christendom, Christians will end up muting their distinctive voice. Late in the book, she shifts from the descriptive to the prescriptive: “To dialogue is not to dissolve oneself in the theses of the adversary, and one does not need to cease to exist in order to be tolerant—in fact, the opposite is the case.” This is not the integralist call for a return to Christendom. It is, as Delsol puts it, a call to “a spiritual revolution,” which by worldly standards might look like defeat. Christians must form their children “to carry themselves like Kierkegaards knight of faith: resigned, but also able to walk toward the infinite.” For Delsol, as for Marion, the category of “witness” is key. Christians without Christendom must take up the role of witnesses rather than rulers, and learn the virtues characteristic of a minority: “Equanimity, patience, and perseverance.” Christians must take as their model not Sepúlveda, who justified the conversion by conquest of the Americas, but the martyred Trappist monks of Tibhirine, who died because they would not abandon their Muslim neighbors.
**There are clear points of convergence between Marion and Delsol.** They both reject integralism and seek a practical *modus vivendi* within the current socio-political order. Neither thinks that the Kingship of Christ requires Christians to have their hands on the levers of temporal power. And neither wishes to embrace a progressivism that would dilute Christian witness into a vague spirituality. Marion in particular is resolutely Christo-centric in his approach: “In order to understand Catholics, it is first necessary to figure out what makes them tick: Christ.” This is especially the case when it comes to determining the success or failure of the Church: “\[Christ\] never guaranteed it would become a majority, or dominant in the world: he only asked it to pass through the same experience of the cross by which he gained the Resurrection.” It is through witness, not through coercion, that the Church engages the world and seeks to change it. Marion and Delsol are “conservative” primarily in the sense that they seek to conserve the centrality of Christ in the Churchs witness, and to do this in continuity with the saints of the past.
But there are also important differences between the two. Delsols tone is more combative than Marions. This is partly a difference of intellectual style—between a philosopher-theologian who typically operates in a speculative and abstract mode and a philosopher-sociologist who mucks around in the messiness of history. But there is also a substantive difference. Marion still operates within Jacques Maritains “New Christendom” model, in which the Churchs public role is to provide the state with the values it needs to sustain what Maritain called “the democratic secular faith.” That faith was, if not Christian, at least “Christianly inspired,” and it formed a people that “at least recognized the value and sensibleness of the Christian conception of freedom, social progress, and the political establishment.” Marion seems confident that “Christians furnish society with its best citizens from the point of view even of the interests of the city of men, because their disinterestedness toward earthly power makes them honest workers who are efficient and reliable in community life.”
Delsol explicitly rejects Maritains New Christendom model, calling it one of “the last illusions” of the postwar era. This is in keeping with her rejection of the idea that modernity is secular, even in Marions benign sense of *laïcité*. Maritain and Marions vision of the Church supplying the modern nation with something it lacks is at odds with Delsols claim that contemporary society in fact possesses its own moral norms and belief system: neo-pagan cosmotheism. If she is right, then there are no gaps for Christian beliefs and values to fill; the space they would occupy is already filled with alternative beliefs and values. Marions *A Brief Apology for a Catholic Moment* echoes the title of Richard John Neuhauss 1987 book *The Catholic Moment: The Paradox of the Church in the Postmodern World*. Both of these books see the Church as serving a vital social role within a religiously neutral state. In light of this agreement, it is tempting to cast Delsol in the role of Neuhauss friend Stanley Hauerwas, the contrarian insisting on the ineradicable conflict between Church and world, and suggesting that “Catholic moments” may simply be nostalgia for the halls of power. In fact, immediately after her criticism of Maritain, Delsol invokes Hauerwass student, William Cavanaugh, as offering an alternative approach, one that focuses on the Church as what Pope Francis has called “a field hospital,” present not to provide values to a secular world, but to bind up its wounds.
Finally, we might note how Marion and Delsol address the topic that has been haunting the Church for the past two decades: the sex-abuse crisis. One would expect the counter-witness of this scandal to be of particular concern to thinkers who give primacy to “witness” as the Churchs mode of engagement with the world. But Marion mentions pedophilia only in a brief footnote largely dedicated to pointing out the presence of pedophiles in other communities and organizations. To be fair, his book came out in France several years before the Independent Commission on Sexual Abuse in the Church issued its scathing report on sexual abuse in the French Church. But something Marion *does* say makes one wonder if his silence on this issue is entirely accidental. At the outset of the book he notes, “Only the saints speak properly of God and are qualified to critique the Church and Catholics.” He then goes on to write a few pages later that “the believer who is serious and practicing the faith *forgets* to occupy himself with the reform of ecclesiastical institutions.” Marion is undoubtedly correct to warn Catholics away from an obsession with ecclesiastic politics and toward focusing on the heart of the Gospel. But this still leaves the question of how reform is possible in a Church with few saints and a hierarchy with a poor track record of policing itself. Over the past few decades, ordinary, non-saintly Catholics—and often, alas, ex-Catholics—played a key role in holding the Church accountable. An idealized ecclesiology that seems to ignore this fact is hardly adequate to our moment.
Delsol, unsurprisingly, has little tendency to idealize the Church. Though the Independent Commissions report had not yet been issued when she wrote her book, it was clearly on the horizon, and she does address the scandal in a few passages. She notes that pedophilia, now criminalized, had once been considered by the Church and society at large “a lesser evil that one bore in order to safeguard families and institutions.” She repeats this point later, noting that what was seen as a relatively minor misstep at one point in time—“collateral damage”—became, at a later point in time, a crime against humanity. All of this fits with her historicist account of moral norms and her tendency, when writing in her analytic mode, of eschewing moral judgements on the past, which had its own very different norms.
But Delsol is also able to step out of that analytic mode and speak more normatively as a member of the Catholic faithful, and here her judgments are sharper. She sees the sex-abuse catastrophe as evidence of the distorting effects Christendom had on Christian faith. “The Church behaves like a governing and dominating institution, believing that everything that is forbidden to others is permitted for it.” Powerful cultural institutions often convince themselves that, in light of their important societal role, they cannot afford the luxury of truth-telling. By the grace of providence and the vicissitudes of history, the Church, freed from Christendom, is now in a better position to witness to the truth, even if it is the truth of her own failures.
Both of these brief books are rich in resources for reflection. As the Church in the United States confronts the reality of accelerating disaffiliation among young people, the experience of the Church in France, which has long grappled with dechristianization, acquires greater relevance. Marion and Delsol help us see how Catholics in an increasingly post-Christian society might bear witness to their faith without bitterness or nostalgia—and perhaps even with joy.
*A Brief Apology for a Catholic Moment*
Jean-Luc Marion
University of Chicago Press
$22.50 | 120 pp.
*La Fin de la Chrétienté*
Chantal Delsol
CERF
€16 | 176 pp.
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Date: 2022-08-14
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# After the Zodiac Killer's '340' Cipher Stumped the FBI, Three Amateurs Made a Breakthrough
**The envelope arrived** at the *San Francisco Chronicle* in November 1969 without a return address, its directive to the recipient, in handwriting distinctively slanted and words unevenly spaced, to “please rush to editor.” The *Chronicle* newsroom had seen the scrawl before, on previous letters sent from the Zodiac, a self-monikered serial killer who threatened to go on a “kill rampage” if the paper didnt publish his writing on its front page. By the time of the November letter, the Zodiac had already attacked seven people, murdering five. His most recent murder—of a San Francisco cab driver, by gunshot—had occurred just four weeks before this new envelope arrived. The Zodiac had mailed the *Chronicle* a piece of the victims bloodied shirt as evidence of the crime.
The Zodiacs letters were replete with grisly imagery. He signed his “name” with a crosshairs symbol. He shared haunting details of his attacks. He promised to blow up buses of schoolchildren and unleash a “death machine” on San Francisco. But in addition to these overt threats, he included baffling ciphers for investigators to crack, troubling grids of symbols and letters that presumably masked a secret about his identity, intentions, or victims (to this day, the killer has never been found). The Zodiacs first cipher, included in the July 31 letter, had been solved within a week by an amateur husband-and-wife team—but it had only revealed more of the killers raving. The second, now known as “the 340” due to the number of characters in it, would prove a much more difficult challenge. It came with a letter for the *Chronicle*, reading in part:
*PS could you print this new cipher in your frunt page? I get aufully lonely when I am ignored, so lonely I could do my Thing !!!!!!*
The papers editors, along with local law enforcement officials, had no reason to doubt the Zodiacs most recent threat. They published the 340 the next day, hoping it might bring them one step closer to the serial killers identity, or lead them to his next victims.
But the 340 stumped both amateur and professional cryptographers alike—not just in the weeks following its publication, but for decades. The NSA couldnt crack it. Neither could the Naval Intelligence Office or the FBI. For more than fifty years, the cipher remained an unsolvable enigma, one that grew to almost mythic proportions among codebreakers and cryptography sleuths. Some speculated that the cipher would never be solved—that it was too sophisticated, too challenging for even contemporary cryptographers.
![zodiac killer's 340 cipher](https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod.s3.amazonaws.com/images/zodiac5-hiresletteronly-1659367506.jpg?resize=480:*)
The 340 cipher, above, reached the *San Francisco Chronicle* in November 1969. The killers first cipher had been cracked in a week by an amateur husband-and-wife team. Solving this one would require the eventual codebreakers to employ homophonic substitutions, period-19 transposition, the knights tour, and other complex cryptology schemes.
Getty Images
But then, in December 2020, the FBI announced a breakthrough: The 340 cipher had been solved. Not by its crack Cryptanalysis and Racketeering Records Unit, but instead by three computer wonks whod found one another on an obscure online true-crime discussion board and started collaborating during the COVID-19 pandemic. The trio, who had no background in cryptology and no professional codebreaking experience, did what the worlds most powerful intelligence organizations could not. On top of the solutions haunting opacity, the intricacies of the cipher itself brought fresh layers of insight that, forensic experts say, might help authorities eventually, finally, catch up to the killer.
> “Theres not a lot of rhyme or reason to it, which makes it very impressive that anyone solved it.”
**Dave Oranchak has** always been a puzzle geek. When hes not running ultramarathons near his home in Roanoke, Virginia, the 47-year-old computer programmer spends most of his time working out practical solutions to problems, whether in his coding work or his passion for Shinro, a Japanese derivation of Sudoku. Around 2006, Oranchak became intrigued by the 340s apparent resistance to a solution, a key had eluded the best efforts of professionals and experts. Tempted by the chance to unlock a slate of notorious cold cases, he started nosing around online discussion boards about the Zodiac. Before he knew it, he was down the rabbit hole, immersed in the Zodiacs story and gaining a reputation as one of the reigning experts on the killers ciphers.
The Zodiac had a thick case file for amateur sleuths like Oranchak to peruse. Here was a serial killer who had gone out of his way to taunt the police. His handwriting was on file, along with a recording of his voice. Witnesses to his crimes had provided enough information for law enforcement to create a composite sketch of his face. The Zodiac had tallied his victims in marker on the side of a car, drafted homemade ciphers, and mailed scraps of evidence to newspapers. But despite the best efforts of the countrys leading intelligence agencies, no one knew who he was. The 340 cipher was one of the final threads to pull, a puzzle with seemingly no discernible rules, schemes, or internal logic.
Oranchak dedicated hundreds of hours to the 340 cipher—“way too many,” by his own measure. As his commitment deepened, he became a respected moderator on the Zodiac discussion boards and the leading authority on the 340 itself. He appeared on TV documentaries and podcasts dedicated to the Zodiac, eventually giving talks at NSA-sponsored cryptology conferences and sitting on panels with FBI agents actively working in the cryptology field.
![david oranchak at his computer with dog where he did most of his work to crack the code](https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod.s3.amazonaws.com/images/zodiac8-david-oranchak-by-peter-means-9489-1659368143.jpg?crop=0.922xw:0.995xh;0.0782xw,0.00255xh&resize=480:*)
One of the three amateurs who broke the 340 code, David Oranchak did most of his work from his home office, his dog Rosa by his side while he sat at his computer. He detailed his thought processes and methods on his YouTube channel, where he connected with others attempting to crack the cipher.
PETER MEANS/VTE
The community of amateur Zodiac hunters can be sensationalistic. “Theres a lot of chatter and nonsense and arguing about suspects,” Oranchak says. But one member of the forums struck him as level-headed and critical: Jarl Van Eycke, a reclusive warehouse worker living in Belgium who had gained respect in the cryptology community after developing his own decryption software program. “Jarl was technically minded, and \[he was\] approaching the \[Zodiac\] problem rationally,” Oranchak says.
Van Eycke declined an interview request for this story. And hes never spoken on the record about his decryption software or the Zodiac case. Oranchak has never met him; theyve corresponded only by email and on forums. Despite Van Eyckes almost total obscurity, he agreed to work with Oranchak on a solution to the 340. That was a pivotal moment that would add speed to the codebreaking process; Van Eyckes software could work through multiple solution sequences simultaneously and provide a rating for the correctness of each result.
Van Eycke and Oranchak began programming the codebreaking software to work through thousands and thousands of possible solutions to the 340 cipher. During the pandemic, Oranchak launched a YouTube channel dedicated to their work from his home office; his family vacation photos and a watercolor portrait of the late family cat, Peabody, looked on as he issued heady primers about cryptology and codebreaking.
Despite the homespun setting, the information in Oranchaks videos was undeniably sophisticated. He used Scrabble tiles to explain substitution keys and anagrams and gave casual lectures on cipher organization strategies such as columnar transposition, in which messages are first written in columns rather than lines. Before long, videos on his channel had millions of views. Oranchak was sure that certain anomalies in the cipher pointed to a logical organizational strategy. While some dismissed the cipher as an impossible exercise from a deranged mind, Oranchak believed that a valuable solution lay behind the inscrutable symbols.
**Oranchaks belief in** the 340s logic stemmed from cryptographys foundational principles. Ciphers date back at least 3,000 years. The earliest known cryptogram is from 1500 B.C., when a Mesopotamian potter devised a code to keep his glaze recipe secret from competitors, but methodologies have diversified and proliferated since then. Ancient Spartans and Chinese military leaders used the “scytale” method, writing messages that could only be read when wrapped around a specific rod, and Julius Caesar popularized the substitution cipher, in which each letter is replaced by another letter thats a set number of positions away in the alphabet. Sir Francis Bacon favored a “steganographic” approach in which he replaced letters with binaries, and during each of the World Wars, countries used a range of cryptography methods, from simple stencils to the legendary German Enigma machine. All of these cipher varieties employ rotating substitutions that can be “brute forced” by nothing but pencil and paper, says Riad Wahby, Ph.D., whose research at Carnegie Mellon University focuses on proof systems and cryptography. This quality makes them accessible to the public despite their many layers of complexity.
By the time the Zodiac began his killing rampage in 1968, ciphers and other cryptograms had invaded pulp crime novels and detective magazines. Readers could learn organizational tricks, such as the knights tour or period-19 transposition, and then use them in ciphers of their own. The Zodiac himself likely came of age reading some of those detective magazines and codebooks, says James R. Fitzgerald, a forensic linguist and criminal profiler who spent much of his career at the FBIs Behavioral Analysis Unit. “If Zodiac is ever identified and his house is ever searched, youre going to find dozens and dozens of other codebooks, other pads of paper with other code written on them,” he says. “He had an extended interest in this kind of language usage.”
According to Fitzgerald, the Zodiacs schematics align with popular cryptology strategies of the time. The first cipher was simple—a substitution code containing 26 symbols, each of which stood in for a letter in the English alphabet. Donald Harden, a high school teacher, and his wife, Bettye, solved it within a week of its publication. The couple estimates that they spent about 20 hours on the puzzle. They zeroed in on easy-to-find words likely to be used by a murderer; “kill,” for example, has repeating letters. Then they followed rules known to any Wheel of Fortune fan: namely, that E is the most used letter in the English language, as are certain letter pairings, such as T-H and Q-U. The solution read, in part:
I LIKE KILLING BECAUSE IT IS SO MUCH FUN. IT IS MORE FUN THAN KILLING WILD GAME IN THE FOREST BECAUSE MAN IS THE MOST DANGEROUS ANIMAL OF ALL. TO KILL SOMETHING GIVES ME THE MOST THRILLING EXPERIENCE. IT IS EVEN BETTER THAN GETTING YOUR ROCKS OFF WITH A GIRL. THE BEST PART OF IT IS THAT WHEN I DIE I WILL BE REBORN IN PARADICE AND ALL I HAVE KILLED WILL BECOME MY SLAVES.
At first glance, the cipher solution may seem worthless when it comes to catching a serial killer. Not so, says Fitzgerald. Instead, he points to the combination of literary allusion (most notably to Richard Connells “The Most Dangerous Game”) and colloquial sexual boasts as helpful context for a detailed psychological profile of the killer. So, he says, does the deliberate misspelling of “paradise” and the contrived idea of a specific afterlife awaiting the Zodiac.
“He didnt believe any of it,” says Fitzgerald of the Zodiacs claims. “Yet it gave him an ostensible rationale behind his killing, so he would not be seen by the public as just randomly and purposelessly choosing his victims.”
![donald g harden](https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod.s3.amazonaws.com/images/zodiac6-donald-harden-gettyimages-515288642-1659368303.jpg?resize=480:*)
Donald G. Harden, a schoolteacher living in Salinas, California, broke the Zodiacs first cipher sent on July 31, 1969, with his wife, Bettye June Harden
Getty Images
![four rotor german enigma machine made during world war ii](https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod.s3.amazonaws.com/images/zodiac7-german-enigma-machine-gettyimages-90738685-1659368364.jpg?resize=480:*)
The code wheels and lampboard from a four-rotor German Enigma machine made during World War II, for which the user had to know the specific key settings used by the transmitter to decrypt a message
Getty Images
**Behavioral criminologists who have** worked the Zodiac case surmise that the 340s construction was informed by the ease with which the first cipher was solved—a real blow to the killers inflated ego. For the 340, the Zodiac increased the number of individual characters to 50 and organized them via a far more complicated cryptogram. The cipher relied upon homophonic substitution, which assigns multiple symbols to a single letter and helps mask common letter pairings. As the ciphers key—cryptology speak for a solution—continued to elude investigators at the FBI and NSA, cryptanalysts began to suspect that the Zodiac had somehow rearranged the order of the symbols, too, possibly including purposeful mistakes in the cipher that would confuse straightforward solutions—“a code within a code,” says Fitzgerald. He says the Zodiac, in this respect, fancied himself a kind of criminal mastermind. “The true code writer is very rare, even rarer among serial killers or serial offenders. And the ones that are difficult to break are the rarest of the rare.”
The ready solution to the first cipher might have led the killer to overcomplicate the second, including the usage of what Fitzgerald calls “false flag mistakes” to throw off codebreakers. “He wanted to become more of an enigma that he already was,” Fitzgerald says. “He thrived on that. This guy wanted to put himself above and beyond all those pedestrian-type killers.” This egotism might have also informed the Zodiacs moniker, symbol, and costume, which eyewitnesses said resembled that of a medieval executioner. Its also why he seemed to thrive on sending mail to newspapers and demanding airtime from TV programs. On one such show, a man claiming to be the Zodiac phoned in to say that his only worry was eventually being taken to the gas chamber, a fear inconsistent with the killers supposed megalomaniacal arrogance. Sure enough, the caller was later proved to be a fraud.
The Zodiac affected a persona who not only delighted in taunting authorities, but who also became bored with killing and needed to invent games to keep himself amused. The cipher is the primary symbol of the killers paradoxical needs to be both obsessed about and unknowable. That twisted psychology contributed to its immense difficulty, and is one reason why it took decades to unpack.
> “Zodiac killed for thrill, the ciphers only added to the thrill, once the killings became routine.”
**As COVID lockdowns** persisted in 2020, Jarl Van Eycke continued to refine his codebreaking software, AZDecrypt. He reported to Zodiac listserv users that it was becoming faster and more efficient, and he was adding features that allowed users to freeze keywords in the cipher, such as “kill,” while running permutations on the other symbols—a process called “cribbing” that can narrow the number of possible combinations a program needs to try. On his YouTube channel, Dave Oranchak theorized that the Zodiac had probably used a combination of schemes in the 340, including the knights move, in which a message is rearranged in a manner following the moveset of a knight in chess, and period-19 transposition, in which each character is moved 19 positions in the cipher before solving.
That video caught the eye of Sam Blake, a quantitative analysis researcher at the University of Melbourne. Burned out from his work in computing infrastructure, Blake found Oranchaks channel a more relaxing way to problem solve. He joined the Zodiac hunt with traditional pen and paper at first, but found it “clunky” for interacting with the more complex schemes AZDecrypt was dealing with. Period-19 transposition in particular, he says, “seemed like a pain in the butt.”
![oranchak holding 304 cipher in his office](https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod.s3.amazonaws.com/images/zodiac1-david-oranchak-by-peter-means-9535-1659368597.jpg?resize=480:*)
Oranchak began working on the 340 in 2006 and posted his first YouTube video on his efforts in April 2020. That first video debunked writer Robert Graysmiths proposed solution to the cipher, and in December that same year, Oranchak released the solution that he helped to obtain. That video has over 2 million views to date.
PETER MEANS/VTE
Blake commented on Oranchaks video that it would be easy to enumerate the geometry of period-19 transposition into a computer program, but by that point Oranchaks videos received dozens of comments a day and Blakes mathematical suggestion was lost in the shuffle. But he kept at it until he found Oranchaks email address and proposed his idea directly. Oranchak was impressed, and invited Blake to join him in the hunt for a solution.
Using the University of Melbournes supercomputer, Spartan, in conjunction with AZDecrypt, Blake and Oranchak parsed thousands of variations for the 340 cipher. Beyond period 19 and the knights tour, they tried other arrangements, such as alternating the ciphers columns or organizing it along diagonal lines. Each new organization required multiple subvariations, such as moving each character 18 or 20 spaces instead of the traditional 19. It took hours, sometimes days, for AZDecrypt to churn through each possible solution. This methodology wouldve been impossible in 1969. “Homophonic substitution needs a really robust computer program,” says Blake. “I was able to create many different candidate ciphers because I had access to Spartan.”
Nevertheless, despite all the programming power at its gates, the cipher didnt yield. Occasionally, AZDecrypt would reveal a single word and compel the codebreakers to dig deeper, but everything led to a dead end. The team began breaking the cipher into sections and applying different solutions to different sections, but even that failed. Months passed. The team soon amassed over 650,000 tested variations, but no answers.
While Oranchak and Blake attacked the cipher, Van Eycke kept improving AZDecrypt. Oranchak wondered if theyd actually tried the right variation already but that it just hadnt been caught by an earlier version of the software. They began rerunning all 650,000 combinations again, with Oranchak hanging out in his wood-paneled office with the familys Labrador, watching the program and waiting for it to produce a viable solution. About halfway through the rerun, he spotted fleeting words and phrases that hadnt turned up during the first pass. In one variation, he found this fragment: *hope you are trying to catch me*. That seemed promising. Then he caught another phrase: *gas chamber*.
Oranchak used AZDecrypts crib feature to lock in those words, the same phrase the Zodiac impostor had used on TV in 1969, and then continued rerunning the variations. Eventually the program cracked the first section of the cipher. “Thats when I fell out of my chair,” Oranchak remembers. “I think I scared my dog.” The remaining two sections soon followed. They needed to be massaged and corrected in places, but at long last, the Zodiacs message emerged before the codebreakers eyes:
I HOPE YOU ARE HAVING LOTS OF FUN IN TRYING TO CATCH ME
THAT WASNT ME ON THE TV SHOW
WHICH BRINGS UP A POINT ABOUT ME
I AM NOT AFRAID OF THE GAS CHAMBER
BECAUSE IT WILL SEND ME TO PARADICE ALL THE SOONER
BECAUSE I NOW HAVE ENOUGH SLAVES TO WORK FOR ME
WHERE EVERYONE ELSE HAS NOTHING WHEN THEY REACH PARADICE
SO THEY ARE AFRAID OF DEATH
I AM NOT AFRAID BECAUSE I KNOW THAT MY NEW LIFE IS
LIFE WILL BE AN EASY ONE IN PARADICE DEATH
**Most experts, including** the FBIs crypto unit, agree that Oranchak and his team cracked the 340. Like the first cipher, it reveals a beguiling combination of high and low diction, spelling mistakes, and vague imaginings of immortality. Also like the first cipher, it lacks a hard clue as to the Zodiacs identity.
But James Fitzgerald says that even the 340s variations and mistakes hold valuable information for forensic linguists, including possible hints at the writers race, ethnicity, age, and gender. Criminals are better at inserting purposeful mistakes than at hiding lifelong linguistic habits. In the case of the 340 cipher, Fitzgerald believes the Zodiac tried to upgrade his language to look more sophisticated than he is, by way of antiquated diction like “all the sooner” and “paradice.”
He also suggests that both ciphers contain contraindicators, or statements that represent the opposite of what is true to the Zodiac. In other words, Fitzgerald asserts that the Zodiac never hunted wild game, never or rarely had sex, and was, in fact, terrified of dying. “Bottom line, Zodiac killed for thrill,” he says. “It was mentally, physically, and sexually empowering for him, all of which were missing from his everyday life. The ciphers only added to the thrill, once the killings became routine.” Fitzgerald predicts that behavioral scientists at the FBI will glean more information through further study of the ciphers.
Jim Clemente, a former FBI profiler, agrees. “Zodiac is nothing more than a vulnerable narcissist,” he says. “He was attempting to show how smart he is \[through the ciphers\], but hes actually giving us evidence to take him down.”
![collection of cryptography texts](https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod.s3.amazonaws.com/images/zodiac3-david-oranchak-by-peter-means-9576-1659368722.jpg?crop=0.669xw:1.00xh;0.156xw,0&resize=480:*)
Materials from Oranchaks collection of cryptography texts. Oranchak, Blake, and Van Eycke combined their skills in programming and mathematics with their interest in traditional cryptography to solve the 340 cipher.
PETER MEANS/VTE
![medals oranchak blake and van eycke received from the fbis cryptanalysis unit](https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod.s3.amazonaws.com/images/zodiac4-david-oranchak-by-peter-means-9565-1659368819.jpg?crop=0.669xw:1.00xh;0.148xw,0&resize=480:*)
After solving the cipher, Oranchak, Blake, and Van Eycke received medals from the FBIs cryptanalysis unit.
PETER MEANS/VTE
> “In his zeal to create a more difficult puzzle, the Zodiac overextended himself and delivered a cipher that was almost impossible to solve.”
The mechanisms of the 340 itself possibly reveal the Zodiacs limitations as a code writer. The cipher follows a variation of the knights tour and period-19 transposition, but the alterations to each of these schemes are idiosyncratic and sloppy. “We almost didnt find the solution because of them,” Oranchak says.
Francis Heaney, a puzzle expert, calls the 340 a “read-my-mind” puzzle. “Basically, \[its when\] youve got an idea for a puzzle and theres no way to solve it unless the person has the same idea,” Heaney says.
For example, the Zodiac altered his diagonal schematic in a seemingly random manner. He intended the six characters in the center-right of the cipher, which spell out “life is,” to be extracted from the diagonal and added to the end of the translated cipher. Theres precedent for that; some puzzles have “meta-answers,” an extra step after computation to reach the complete puzzles final conclusion (like when themed crossword clues must be rearranged to solve a riddle). But fair puzzles communicate the need for that extra step through what Heaney calls “breadcrumbs.” The Zodiac left no such instructions. “Theres not a lot of rhyme or reason to it,” Heaney says of the 340. “Its a little bit free-form, which makes it very impressive that anyone solved it.”
In his zeal to create a more difficult puzzle, the Zodiac overextended himself and delivered a cipher that was almost impossible to solve—not because of any masterful underlying mechanism, but because the cipher lacked a discernible logic and structure.
The best puzzles build incrementally upon themselves, explains Heaney. They may include multiple different steps, but those layers should be iterative. Zodiacs layers were haphazard at best. Solvable puzzles, even challenging ones, hint at their schematics through “flavor text”—proactive hints at a ski slope if, say, the puzzle follows a diagonal pattern. Heaney says inventive puzzlers also build difficulty through focus. The Zodiac sprawled in his methods, shifting the 340 abruptly between simple and homophonic substitution, utilizing multiple transpositions, and inserted a baseless meta answer. Based on the Zodiacs profile, particularly his relentless thirst for attention, he wanted his ciphers to be solved and his message of terror out in the world. These inconsistencies, in that context, constitute a failure.
Without the computing power of Blakes supercomputer and Van Eyckes AZDecrypt to overpower the Zodiacs unfair schematic, the 340 probably would have remained unsolved. And even though cracking the cipher revealed little biographical information about the killer, Oranchak thinks their methodology can lead to newer, faster ways of enumerating and substituting, which will allow other ciphers to be solved more quickly than under previous methods. “We live in an age of cryptography that is virtually unbreakable,” Oranchak says. “But so are these old-school codes.” Many unsolved puzzles continue to elude simple solutions, and some of these are connected to crime. “We need a better tool that can figure out what bucket a cipher belongs in before putting all that effort into breaking it.”
Cryptological progress, Blake says, will require experts and intelligence agencies to think outside the box, collaborate and crowdsource, and be willing to test methodologies developed by amateurs and armchair detectives. That, says Mike Morford, author of *The Case of the Zodiac Killer*, is the single most exciting aspect of the 340 solution.
“It just proves that if you dig at something long enough and keep at it, whether its for 40 years, 50 years, theres a chance that you can be part of the solution. These guys proved that,” he says. “Their work encourages people to keep digging into these old cases and not to give up.”
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Date: 2022-06-06
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# Albert Camus: The philosopher who resisted despair
In March 1946, the French philosopher and novelist Albert Camus sailed across the Atlantic to deliver a speech at Columbia University. It was his first and only trip to America. Camus had achieved worldwide fame with the publication of his 1942 novel, *The Stranger,* and his stature as an artist and a member of the French resistance had grown considerably over the course of the war.
The Nazis had been defeated the year before and there was a belief that some kind of final victory over fascism had been achieved. But in his address, Camus did not oblige that sentiment. The philosopher, who was expected to talk about French theater and philosophy, lingered on the pathologies that produced Nazism. He went further, arguing that the postwar world had fallen into complacency. The war was over but a certain kind of plague persisted:
> Contemporary man tends more and more to put between himself and nature an abstract and complex machinery that casts him into solitude. … With so much paper, so many offices and functionaries, we are creating a world in which human warmth has disappeared. Where no one can come into contact with anyone else except across a maze of what we call formalities.
The point of the talk was to say that the entire Western world lived in a civilization that elevated abstractions over experience — that ultimately removed people from the reality of human suffering.
I doubt Camus would change his posture were he to give that talk today. The world of 2022 is different from the world of Nazi barbarity Camus was reacting against, but its not as different as we would hope. A great power in Europe is trying to conquer a weaker power driven by some claim to historical greatness and a notion of its geopolitical primacy. Its hard to look at the images of bombed-out apartment buildings and mass graves in Ukraine and not think of Europe in the aftermath of WWII.
Camuss earlier work, when he was writing books like *The Stranger* and *The Myth of Sisyphus*, was more about the strangeness of the human experience. But his oeuvre took a turn as he witnessed the horrors of the war, his attention fixed on the ways in which people justify violence and lawlessness. Indeed, Camuss whole philosophy became a response to human brutality, and thats what makes him such an essential voice at this historical moment.
### Against abstraction
Camus was one of the intellectual stars of midcentury Paris. But unlike contemporaries like Jean-Paul Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir, he was always an outsider. Most everyone in that milieu went to one of the elite universities, like the Sorbonne or the École normale supérieure. Camus grew up in a working-class neighborhood in French Algeria and went to a public university.
He was raised as a French citizen in Algeria, where most of the inhabitants were indigenous Arabs and Berbers who had lived there for centuries before the French showed up. Living as a French citizen in a colonized state helped give shape to his philosophy and politics. He loved the French people who were born in Algeria and made a home there, but he was also outraged by the treatment of Arabs and Berbers — hundreds of thousands of whom were killed by French forces **—** and spent years condemning it as a young reporter for a left-wing newspaper.
The Algerian experience made Camus wary of either-or approaches to politics. Having witnessed the extremism on both sides — French occupiers and their Arab resisters — and the cycles of violence and retaliation, he was determined to find a space for dialogue, or at least impose limits on the killing.
No one, he insisted, had a monopoly on truth or justice. “I want Arab militants to preserve the justice of their cause by condemning the massacres of civilians, just as I want the French to protect their rights and their future by openly condemning the massacres of the repression.” He was widely mocked as a moderate for this stance (even as he lobbied behind the scenes on behalf of countless political prisoners during Algerias war for independence). Im not sure Camus ever had an adequate response to the criticisms. The best he could muster was to say that the goal was to stop the spiral of violence and retaliation and that meant condemning the sorts of tactics that made resolution impossible.
In the spring of 1940, shortly after Camus had moved to Paris, the Germans invaded France. He tried to enlist in the army but was declined due to an early bout of tuberculosis. He instead became the editor of the French resistance newspaper, Combat, and produced some of his best work as a columnist there. Its really that period that crystallized so much of his thinking.
From the start of the war, Camus was preoccupied with the hazards of ideological politics and abstract ideals. “It was impossible,” he wrote, “to persuade people who were doing these things not to do them because they were sure of themselves and because there is no way to persuade an abstraction, or, to put it another way, the representative of an ideology.”
This is what he saw in Nazism: a political plague that obeyed its own implacable logic and destroyed the hosts — and everyone else. Beyond that specter, he could sense the impending battle between capitalist and Marxist ideologies, both of which, in their own ways, were based on unchallengeable ideas of progress.
After the war, Camuss philosophical work became even more political. He published his book-length essay *The Rebel* in 1951, which precipitated his public fallout with Sartre. Camus condemned the excesses on both sides of the Cold War — a stance that alienated Marxists like Sartre — but he was always interested in closing the gap between theory and action:
> The purpose of this essay is once again to face the reality of the present, which is logical crime, and to examine meticulously the arguments by which it is justified. ... One might think that a period which, in a space of fifty years, uproots, enslaves, or kills seventy million human beings should be condemned out of hand. But its culpability must still be understood.
*The Rebel* is a flawed book, and it does, at times, feel too removed from historical realities. But the weaknesses of the book reflect the doubt at the core of Camuss political philosophy. It wasnt about drawing some kind of moral equivalence between fascism and communism. It was an attempt to understand a peculiar form of nihilism that had come to dominate the 20th century.
For Camus, nihilism wasnt so much about belief in nothing; it was about refusing to believe in the world as it is. And killing in service to some idea is just as nihilistic as believing that nothing is true and therefore everything is permitted.
### The persistence of compassion
That human tendency toward nihilism was on Camuss mind when he spoke at Columbia in 1946. “Nihilism has been replaced by absolute rationalism,” Camus said, “and in both cases, the results are the same.”
The upshot of Camuss speech at Columbia was to take all the anguish over the atrocities of World War II and turn it into something ennobling. Its natural to be indignant in the face of such horror, but there was a sliver of consolation here. Camus asks us to reflect on that common outrage, realize what it says about the value of human life, and commit to being a more engaged human being.
Camuss 1947 novel *The Plague* is all about our shared vulnerability to loss and suffering. Something like a pandemic sweeps into our lives and disrupts our reality. The routines, the diversions, the daily comforts — it all explodes under the intensity of emergency. Suddenly, everyone is facing the same situation and theres nothing to do but resist. “I know its an absurd situation,” the protagonist Rieux says at one point, “but were all involved in it, and weve got to accept it as it is.” The same is true of war (Camus himself insisted that the plague in the novel was an allegory for the Nazi occupation).
Camus has been much on my mind these last few months. The great irony of Putins war is that it seems to have reinforced the very thing it was [intended to destroy](https://www.businessinsider.com/putin-denies-reviving-russian-empire-says-ukraine-not-real-country-2022-2): the Ukrainian identity. In *The Rebel*, Camus says we can see the roots of human solidarity in moments of crisis, when people have to resist whats taking place, whether its a biological plague or a military occupation. And when that happens, we look around and see others doing the same thing. We see others saying “no” and “yes” at the same time — no to the destruction of human life, yes to the community that emerges out of that refusal.
Amid the horror is solace — theres something deeply satisfying about doing things in the world with other people. The immediacy of a war or a natural disaster collapses the barriers between us because its so clear what has to be done. And while nothing redeems a tragedy, theres at least some comfort in the solidarity that emerges from it.
The problem is that solidarity often slips away in the mechanics of everyday life. But the empathy and love fueling that desire to help in a crisis is a constant possibility. Camus thought this didnt happen automatically — it was a choice we each had to make — and that we could carry the spirit of collective action into the post-crisis world. He also thought that acting with other people, caring about other people, made us happy and was thus an antidote to despair.
The striking thing about Camus is that he imagines life itself as a kind of emergency in the sense that it can end at any moment. The decision to live in spite of that awareness carries a moral obligation: to not add to the already random suffering in the world. Seeing that principle transgressed has a way of renewing our commitment to it.
### The antidote to despair
Camus always said that he was pessimistic about the human condition and optimistic about humankind. Maybe thats a contradiction. But I always thought the deeper point was much simpler: Were born into a world that doesnt seem to have any purpose, that we know will end, and yet we go on living anyway.
For Camus, that meant that there is something in humanity that transcends the fact of our condition. Thats the source of our collective dignity — and its the part of humanity that always has to be defended.
This can all sound a bit abstract from a distance. Whats the average person supposed to do about all the horrors in the world? You can look anywhere — from the conflicts in Ukraine and Yemen and Syria to the barbarity of mass shootings in places like [Uvalde, Texas](https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/23140441/uvalde-shooting-robb-elementary-school-texas) — and be horrified by the suffering, but you cant do anything about it.
That outrage you feel, though — thats the spark of common humanity that Camus was always affirming.
At the end of his speech, he told the audience that their job was to take that spark and commit to being a more attentive human being. That meant seeing people as people, not as abstractions or obstacles. It meant not letting our ideas about the world become more important than our experience of the world.
Camus always returned to the myth of Sisyphus as the model of human defiance. The problem wasnt that Sisyphus had to roll his boulder up a hill forever; its that he had to roll it alone. His point was that were all rolling our boulders up a hill, and that life is most meaningful when we push together.
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Date: 2022-03-13
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# Amateur open-source researchers went viral unpacking the war in Ukraine
Under the pseudonym [Intel Crab](https://twitter.com/IntelCrab), University of Alabama sophomore Justin Peden has become an unlikely source of information about the unfolding Ukraine-Russia war. From his dorm room, the 20-year-old sifts through satellite images, TikTok videos, and security feeds, sharing findings like troop movements and aircraft models with more than 220,000 followers on Twitter. Peden said that his posts have reached 20 million people and his follower count has increased by over 50,000 people over the past month, according to his Twitter analytics.
Today, Peden is one of the most prominent open-source intelligence (OSINT) figures on Twitter. 
According to analysts, OSINT researchers have existed on the fringes of conflicts since at least 2014, working collaboratively across the world to comb through freely available resources like Google Maps and the satellite imagery service Maxar Technologies. They publicly conduct the type of work that intelligence agencies do behind closed doors. 
As Russia continues its invasion of Ukraine, amateur OSINT researchers have gained a particular mainstream traction. Specialized social media accounts on Twitter, like Intel Crab, [Calibre Obscura](https://twitter.com/CalibreObscura), and [Aurora Intel](https://twitter.com/AuroraIntel), have transfixed an information-hungry public with an analysis of key movements in Russias invasion, using newly available technologies to provide [real-time analysis](https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/peteraldhous/osint-ukraine-war-satellite-images-plane-tracking-social) of key activities, like the supposed withdrawal of Russian troops along the Ukrainian border or the 40-mile Russian convoy outside of Ukraines capital, Kyiv.
“Its easy to overinflate your importance,” the amateur OSINT researcher Calibre Obscura told *Rest of World*. “I wouldnt put myself on a pedestal.” He does have over 105,000 followers on Twitter and said that he gets contracted by NGOs for his weapons-tracking research. His standing has especially increased during the Ukraine conflict, during which he said his account has grown by about 20,000 followers in the past couple of weeks. He also started a different account with another amateur OSINT researcher called Ukraine Weapons Trackers, which [scaled up](https://twitter.com/UAWeapons) to more than 190,000 followers in less than a month.
While some OSINT analysis is [coming from](https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/peteraldhous/osint-ukraine-war-satellite-images-plane-tracking-social) trained professionals at places like the Middlebury Institute of International Studies, Peden said that OSINT amateurs like him can offer updates on the events of the conflict, thanks to the availability of accessible online information and the prevalence of social media within Ukraine. Their reach has fueled debate about what it means for non-professionals to be at the forefront of the race for information.  
![](https://149346090.v2.pressablecdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/IMG_0337-40x87.png)
[Twitter](https://twitter.com/IntelCrab/status/1497653680924991494)
“There will always be a fog of war, but I think it is the thinnest veil of war weve ever had,” Peden said, after being taken aback by the increased attention accounts like his have received over the last couple of weeks. “Its surprising to me because its been, for the longest time, so niche on Twitter and the internet as a whole,” he told *Rest of World*.
Ciarán OConnor, an analyst for the Institute for Strategic Dialogue, said many OSINT amateurs got their start around the Syrian civil war, which began in 2011, and the conflict in eastern Ukraine in 2014.
OSINT researchers use information freely accessible to anyone, which can include security video feeds and satellite imagery. The community trades tips on where to find information and how to analyze it for identifiable markers like geolocation tags and serial numbers. After using this data to trace anything from military activity to arms flows, researchers publish their findings on social media platforms like Discord, Twitter, and Facebook.
There has been a divide in the community between more professionalized outfits, like the investigative outlet Bellingcat founded in 2014, and hobbyists such as Intel Crab, who often lack formal training. Bellingcat often incorporates the work of amateurs into its own investigations.   
Peden began dabbling in OSINT research as a 13-year-old, after Russia invaded Crimea and war broke out in eastern Ukraine. He created a Twitter account pretending to live in Donbas in order to network with Ukrainians living in the area, who he spoke to using Google Translate. He said the account had under 200 followers.
He immersed himself in the sprawling constellation of conflict hobbyists, who congregate on Discord servers like Project Owl, which has almost [30,000 members](https://discord.com/invite/projectowl). According to interviews conducted by *Rest of World* with four amateur OSINT researchers, many conflict hobbyists like Peden have regular day jobs — from IT to selling jewelry on Etsy — or come from military backgrounds. Together, they trade tips on subjects like flight tracking and shortwave radios from Gaza to Syria to Ukraine. 
“I just thought it was interesting, and I had time to burn,” said [Calibre Obscura](https://twitter.com/CalibreObscura). Like many of the bigger amateur accounts, he insists on anonymity, preferring to separate his personal life as a 20-something IT professional in the United Kingdom from his outsized internet presence. 
Obscura started in 2017, when he felt frustrated by the lack of attention war zones like Syria got from mainstream media. Obscura focuses on weapon identification and tracking the flow and origin of arms, mainly in the Middle East. He said that “practically nobody” in his offline life knows about his internet-sleuthing alter ego. 
> “There will always be a fog of war, but I think it is the thinnest veil of war weve ever had.”
Although the field might seem fragmented among different theaters of war and specialization niches, the several researchers that *Rest of World* spoke to saw themselves as part of a broader community. 
“Everybody has their own unique understanding of the world … and they all come together and play an important role in creating this collaborative OSINT environment,” said one of the three researchers behind the [Aurora Intel](https://twitter.com/AuroraIntel) Twitter account, which focuses on the Middle East, and recently began covering Ukraine as well. The researcher, whose account has over 209,000 followers, requested anonymity for this story.
For Aurora Intel, the process of OSINT is often more important than the findings. The account lays out findings in tweet threads breaking down their research and deleting any tweets that they later find to include false information. “Showing the digging and the understanding and the working,” the researcher told *Rest of World*, “is the important bit.” 
[El Parece](https://twitter.com/ElParece), who tracks cartel conflict in Mexico, understands that much of the content he accesses could be leaked by law enforcement or other actors with ulterior motives. While this informs his own analysis and what he decides to post, his audience might not bring that same level of nuanced understanding, especially given the sensational nature of the subject matter. “Any time theres men with guns, people are just drawn to it,” he told *Rest of World*.
OConnor, the analyst from the Institute for Strategic Dialogue, said that while Ukraine is not the first social media war, the conflict has allowed OSINT research to explode into the public consciousness. “Ukraine is something that seems to have captured the worlds attention, and its probably lent itself to people picking up a Twitter account and trying to join the fray.”
He said that because of the high availability of footage of military movement, OSINT communities played a significant role in publicizing it to general audiences, which was then [filtered](https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2022/2/18/videos-of-russian-military-on-the-move-spread-on-tiktok) into mainstream outlets. “Its definitely picked up a lot of reach and attention,” OConnor said. Some analysts [even believe](https://www.vice.com/en/article/3ab4zy/ukraine-weapons-tracker-russian-arsenal-war-crimes) that OSINT work is being utilized by the Ukrainian military. 
He nevertheless worries about the potential impact of these accounts. “In the midst of a very active conflict, theres also an informational tussle thats going on online as well,” he said. “For accounts that wield enormous followings, if they post and get it wrong, theres a good chance that it spreads very quickly.”

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# American Graffiti | New Beverly Cinema
##### American Graffiti \- (1973)
Just as the decade of the seventies was getting underway, still trying to shake off the yoke of the late sixties, two nostalgia-oriented memory pieces were released in 1971 that proved tremendously popular with movie-going audiences. Peter Bogdanovichs *The Last Picture Show,* based on the novel by *Hud* writer Larry McMurtry, who based the novel on his youth growing up in the small Texas town of Anarene during the fifties. And Robert Mulligans *Summer of 42,* written as a screenplay by Herman Raucher and based on his own youth growing up in the forties.
The story of *The Last Picture Show* takes place in 1951 in the postage-stamp-size town of Anarene, Texas, and it follows a few of its citizens. *Sam the Lion* (Ben Johnson), the town patriarch.
*Lois Farrow* (Ellen Burstyn), the trophy wife of the local oil baron.
*Ruth Popper* (Cloris Leachman), the lonely wife of the local football coach.
*Genevieve* (Eileen Brennan), the waitress of the towns favorite diner.
But both the book and the film focus on two football-playing high school seniors, *Sonny Crawford* (Timothy Bottoms) and *Duane Jackson* (Jeff Bridges) as they chase, court, and fight over *Jacy Farrow* (Cybill Shepherd), the prettiest girl in Anarene and daughter of the richest man in the county (Burstyns Lois is her mother).
A description of the plot wouldnt amount to much more than a *TV Guide* synopsis of an episode of *Peyton Place.*
*Duane and Jacy go on a double date with Sonny and Charlene Duggs (*Sharon Taggart).
*Sonny starts an affair with the football coachs wife, Ruth Popper* (Cloris Leachman).
*Duane takes Jacy to Wichita Falls for their big date.*
*Sonny and Duane spend their night together before Duane ships off to Korea. They see The Last Picture Show.*
In fact, *Peyton Place* was a jumping-off point for novelist Larry McMurtry to write the book in the first place. Except instead of the ivy-covered walls, manicured green lawns, and huge oak trees of *Peyton Place,* you have the dusty, windy, practically deserted Texas town of Anarene, with its limited people living their limited lives. McMurtry writes the book from a more anthropological perspective than most *how I grew up to write the book-*books. Especially a Texas anthropological perspective. As opposed to Bogdanovichs film, McMurtrys novel has a decided lack of compassion when it comes to the citizens of Anarene. Its almost as if McMurtry is saying, *I grew up with these people, I know them, and I know theyre idiots.*
When Peters film was first released it was greeted as an instant classic. Not the least because it *looked* like a classic. A problem with shooting period movies in color is the motion pictures most vivid visual component could turn out to be the ugly colors of the costumes. A problem Bogdonovich avoided by shooting the film in widescreen black and white (its actually closer to black and grey).
Peters picture was the first studio film in years to be shot in black and white, not for financial reasons, but artistic ones.
While after Bogdanovich, a few other filmmakers shot feature-films in black and white, but with a few exceptions, Bob Fosses *Lenny* and Joan Micklin Silvers *Hester Street,* it was almost always done to better approximate the genre the film took place in. Mel Brooks shoots *Young Frankenstein* in black and white to invoke the Universal monster movies of the thirties. His buddy Carl Reiner shoots *Dead Men Dont Wear Plaid* in black and white to match up with the forties film noir clips they use. Even Martin Scorseses *Raging Bull* uses its black and white photography to invoke New York street classics of the thirties, forties, and fifties, as well as classic boxing pictures like *Body and Soul, The Champ,* and *The Set-Up* (*and* to make it look different from *Rocky*).
Bogdanovich shoots black and white on *The Last Picture Show* to invoke the period, realism, and loneliness of the story. But on the other hand, its shimmery monochromatic grey on black photography and classic George Stevens-like framing suggests, like Mel Brooks and Carl Reiners films do, the trappings of a film genre of another time.
But in this case, its not an obvious genre like horror films or private detective movies.
The look of *The Last Picture Show* suggests a prestige Hollywood picture of the fifties (*From Here to Eternity, A Place in the Sun, Home from the Hills*). The exact kind of film you can imagine *Sonny & Duane* watching at the towns lone movie theatre. And due to both Bogdanovich and McMurtrys old soul quality, the movie actually *feels* like a fifties film.
Yet the material, while never being explicit, deals with its subject of sexual repression and sexual exploration in an upfront straightforward manner that would have been impossible for a Hollywood movie in the fifties (not a Bergman Swedish film, or an Italian Fellini film, but a Hollywood movie? No fucking way). So while *The Last Picture Show* looked like a classic fifties Hollywood film, it didnt sound like one. When the characters talk about sex its not camouflaged in euphemisms. In an Otto Preminger film of the fifties, when Jeff Bridges takes Cybill Shepherd to a motel in Wichita Falls to have sex for the first time, they wouldnt have announced what theyre going to do (much to Ottos chagrin). But while the characters wouldnt just come out and state that theyre going to fuck, Preminger would imply it, and the adults in the audience would know (he hoped) what Preminger intended without it having to be spelled out.
In the fifties, almost everything involving Cybill Shepherds character Jacy would have had to be camouflaged.
But that was Hollywood filmmaking in the fifties.
All the best sellers and the big theatrical dramas of the day got the sex drained out of them when they inevitably received their big Hollywood screen adaptation (*From Here to Eternity*).
So, in its own way, *The Last Picture Show* demonstrated both the freedom of *New Hollywood,* but also the promise of what post-war Hollywood *could* have been all along if only Hollywood hadnt decided to be so stubbornly immature.
*The Last Picture Show* was the critical smash of the year (even more than the eventual Academy Award winner for best picture that year, *The French Connection*) and it did surprisingly well at the box office. While a lot of films in the seventies drew raves from New York and Los Angeles film critics, when they played outside of big cities, they tended to die in the lone small-town movie theatres that Bogdanovichs film is named after. But *The Last Picture Show* had a rural appeal that *Mean Streets* didnt. Garnering eight Academy Award nominations and two wins (Ben Johnson and Cloris Leachman for best-supporting actor and actress).
Nevertheless, it wasnt as popular as the other nostalgia-based remembrance of things past, Robert Mulligans *Summer of 42.
**Summer of 42* floored seventies audiences in a way the more austere *The Last Picture Show* could never hope to duplicate. The film tells the story of screenwriter Herman Rauchers summer vacation on Nantucket Island in 1942, just as World War Two was heating up for American soldiers. But the young boys vacationing on the Island *Hermie* (Gary Grimes), *Oscy* (Jerry Houser, one of the most beloved characters of early seventies cinema), and *Benjie* (Oliver Conant) have only one thing on their minds, and it isnt the war. The boys, whose age is never clarified, look to be 15 or 16. And at least Oscy and Hermie are bound and determined to leave their virginity behind by summers end.
No Hollywood film up to that time had ever dealt so frankly with the efforts of trying to get laid. Soon that would become the basic plot of every youth comedy to come out for the next two decades. But in 1971 audiences werent used to teenagers talking so realistically about sex. And the comedy exploits of the kids fumbling attempts to lose their virginity brought the house down in cinemas all over America. Audiences laughed uproariously at the naughty goings-on on-screen. At nine (when I saw the film) I was only able to decipher so much of Oscys *trim-hunt,* but the huge laughter from all the adults surrounding me clued me into the naughty-by-nature hijinxs (later when I found my stepfathers stash of filthy porno magazines, and told him about it, he mentioned that was like the scene in *Summer of 42* when Hermie, Oscy, and Benjie made the same find).
For the first three acts, Mulligans film is hysterical (then and now). In fact its so damn funny, little did audiences suspect the gut-punch waiting for them in the films powerful fourth act.
While on the island, Hermie becomes infatuated with the young bride of a soldier who has gone off to war named *Dorothy* (radiant Jennifer ONeill). Dorothy lives in the house she rented with her husband before he shipped out. Like the boys, we never learn exactly what Dorothys age is (Id estimate somewhere between 24-26). But one of the reasons we never learn her age, is because in real life Raucher never learned Dorothys real age, later stating she could have even been as young as twenty. Hermie introduces himself to the young (older) woman and a pleasant friendship develops between them. As he makes himself available to lug groceries from the local grocer to her house. And even stops by to assist her in chores that need doing. All the while harboring a fantasy that it will be Dorothy, not the other appropriate aged island pinheads, that will be his first sexual experience.
This far-fetched fantasy comes to pass, but in a far different context than the boy could have ever imagined. Im being cryptic because I want you to see the movie if you havent already. The slow dance that Hermie and Dorothy share at the climax of the film is quite simply one of the most devastating sequences Ive ever witnessed (apparently Kubrick felt the same). In 1971, while the comedy connected with me, the tragedy flew right over my head. I didnt understand why grown-ups around me were crying. I saw *Summer of 42* twice at the theatres when it came out (and later I saw the sequel *Class of 44* when it was released). But it wouldnt be until thirty-five years later, when I screened a 35mm film print I bought, that I would understand the meaning of the films ending. I cry easily in movies. But rarely have I wept like I wept while Hermie and Dorothy slow danced to Michel Legrands incredibly beautiful theme music.
*Summer of 42* is quite simply one of the most powerful film experiences Ive ever witnessed. And thats with full acknowledgment that Gary Grimes as our young lead is really only *okay* in the role (hes a far stronger a presence in the sequel *Class of 44).* Jennifer ONeill was so luminous in her role as Hermies object of affection, that she parlayed her success in that film to a leading lady career in Hollywood movies that would last till the end of the decade.
And Jerry Housers Oscy *should* have made him if not a movie star then at least a popular comedic character actor for the next twenty years. The thing that stands out about Rauchers screenplay is how achingly truthful it is. You can believe more or less that events played themselves out just the way Raucher claimed they did. He didnt even change the names, Hermie is Herman, Oscy is his best friend Oscar. He kept so much of the story the way it happened, that thirty years later when the film came out and was a hit, the real-life Dorothy saw the film and recognized Rauchers remembrance. Hermie never saw Dorothy again after she left Nantucket Island. But in 1971 he received a letter from her. In a 2002 interview he said; “*I recognized her handwriting. But were talking about 1971, which was almost 30 years after the incident, and I get this letter, and the postmark was Canton, Ohio, and she had remarried. And, interestingly enough, she was worried about what she had done to me and my psyche. And her last sentence was: The ghosts of that night 30 years ago are better left undisturbed. She didnt want to tell me who she was. (But) she was a grandmother. She had remarried. I hope shes still out there. Ive never heard from her again.”*
Rauchers screenplay, *initially,* wasnt meant to focus so much on the story of Dorothy and Hermie, but instead be a tribute to his best friend Oscy Seltzer who was killed in action in North Korea in 1952. But the writer in Raucher realized the incident with Dorothy was the real ending of his movie. Because the film was a hit, Raucher was able to write a sequel, *Class of 44,* that sees the two young men enter college, and eventually sends Oscy in uniform off to his doom overseas. *Class of 44* is pretty terrific, even though it cant really compete with the first movies devastating climax, or its initial sexual humor. In fact, the weirdest thing about the sequel is it doesnt really end, it just suddenly *stops.
*But where the film scores is in the more mature rendering of Hermie and Oscy (Benjies disposed of almost immediately). Grimes performance in the first film may have been standard-issue, but between *Summer of 42* and *Class of 44,* Grimes had starred in a few movies, including a very good seventies western *The Culpepper Cattle Co.,* and even in movies alongside John Wayne and Lee Marvin*.* So by the time Grimes encores his signature role, its a much more mature and confident actor at the helm. And as good as Houser was in the first film, hes even better in the second one. Herman Rauchers desire to honor his childhood best friend is beautifully realized in the films dramatic climax. Which just consists of Oscy in uniform, ready to ship out overseas in the morning. And the two buddies spend one last night together getting drunk. The devotion that Raucher feels for his long lost friend (Oscy died a hero) makes this sequence one of cinemas greatest statements on male love. When a drunken Oscy falls out of the passenger seat of a parked car, crumpled on the asphalt, laughing at himself, you realize that this is probably Rauchers last vivid memory of his old chum.
Heartbreaking.
God knows how many movies have been made that followed the template of boys in various eras trying to get laid. And almost all of them followed the Hermie (the sensitive boy) and Oscy (the more raunchy sexually wised one) dynamic. Even when Garry Marshalls TV series *Happy Days* first came on the air (before Fonzie took over), it copied the *Summer of 42* dynamic, with Ron Howards Richie filling the Hermie role, and Anson Williams Potsie channeling Oscy (Im sure Williams was cast due to his slight resemblance to Houser). One of the most successful Israeli movies ever made was Boaz Davidsons *Lemon Popsicle.* Which basically told the same story of the three boys (the exact same types as *Summer of 42*) trying to get laid, only the Israeli film took place in the early sixties, and it didnt have a Dorothy character. But the film was so successful that there really isnt any Israeli that hasnt seen it. So Im showing my Israeli fiancée my groovy 35mm print of *Summer of 42.* And about halfway through I remember the similarities between *Lemon Popsicle* and *Summer of 42.
*So I bring it up to her as shes watching. And my fiancée (now my wife) said; “*Really? You know, I was just thinking, this is sorta like Lemon Popsicle if Lemon Popsicle was a real movie.”*
But it was three years later when George Lucas would make the nostalgia piece that was to define the seventies, *American Graffiti.* The film deals with a group of teenagers on the last night of summer in 1962. Even though it was the sleeper success of *American Graffiti* that kicked off the whole wave of fifties nostalgia that threatened to overwhelm the entire decade, Lucas film was set in 62. Even though on the outside the early sixties just looked like *The Fifties Part 2,* underneath changes were brewing. The big cities had all moved on. But small towns, like the one in *American Graffiti,* were able to exist in a bubble at least until Kennedy was assassinated.
While the movie has a great cast of girls, director Lucas makes it abundantly clear, when it comes to narrative, hes only following the boys (Richard Dreyfuss, Ron Howard, Charles Martin Smith, and Paul Le Mat). Best buddies *Curt* (Dreyfuss) and *Steve* (Howard) are leaving their small hometown of Modesto California in the morning to fly to college back east. So the college that Curt and Steve are supposed to fly off to represents more than just a normal rite of passage for the two young men. The college represents the growing consciousness of the sixties that exists beyond the Brigadoon-ish town theyre escaping.
But Curt (who is Lucas stand-in, he wants to be a writer, and when he grows up he will write *American Graffiti*) is ambivalent about getting on the plane in the morning.
Hes starting to think he might not go.
Of all the characters Curt is clearly the most intellectual, so then why is he hesitating going off to college? Usually the budding writer in these types of stories cant leave their hometown fast enough. But Curts ambivalence suggests hes a deeper sort than just a cocksure kid full of piss and gage who cant wait to jump ship on his old hometown. Curts not really questioning going to college. Hes questioning the idea of leaving all the people hes ever known. But even more than the humans he leaves behind, Curts questioning leaving the rituals of community that the young people of Modesto partake in.
Hanging out at Mels the curb service diner that is the starting point of every youth in towns weekend night. Mels where the burgers are juicy, the shakes are thick, the neon is pink and green, the music is rock and roll, and the fancy faced waitresses in colorful uniforms wiz back and forth on roller skates, balancing trays of burgers, fries, and milkshakes.  Hanging out at high school dances, that even though hes graduated, he could probably get away with for another year without looking creepy.
What sets Dreyfuss Curt apart from his peers and the rest of the cast, is hes the only one who realizes how temporary these rituals are. Curt knows if he gets on that airplane tomorrow morning everything that the film so nostalgically celebrates he can kiss all that goodbye. The town and the life he leaves, wont be the town and the life he returns to. *If* he even does return, which in all likelihood, he wont. Curt seems to *know* once he leaves hes not coming back. Curt knows the boy who exists today will no longer exist even two years from now. Thats why hes contemplating staying too long at the party. But Lucas balances Curts resistance with the cautionary example of *Big John Milner* (Paul Le Mat). Milner *is* the guy who stayed too long at the sock hop. Milner acts and lives as if its 1958. Hes a few years older than the other boys. Big John chooses to hang out with kids who were probably freshmen in high school when he was the big shot senior, instead of contemporaries from his old class. He continues to cruise the boulevard on cruise night and try and pick up high school girls. He continues to live off the reputation he created for himself in high school (the fastest drag racer in town). And Lucas gives him a dandy of a dilemma. A new guy in town, Harrison Fords *Bob Falfa,* whos gunning to dethrone the king and take away the only thing Big John has left…his reputation.
This is a neat twist on the high school football star who always planned on going pro but didnt have the talent to go all the way, and lives in the glow of former gridiron glory.
In the sequel, *More American Graffiti,* we learn Big John Milner does move on to be a professional drag racer. His storyline in the sequel follows his attempt to secure sponsorship for his racing team and his attempt to romance a beautiful Norwegian girl who speaks practically no English, who he just met. The romance is light, yet meaningful since we in the audience know that Milner will die later that day. Maybe Big John will never experience life, but at least he can experience love.
As Bob Dylan sang, *The Times are a Changing,* but in the first movie Milner rejects even the small changes that have occurred in Modesto so far. When Mackenzie Phillips *Carol* asks him; “*Dont you think The Beach Boys are boss?”
*Big John proclaims; *“I hate all that surfin shit. Rock and roll aint been worth a shit since Buddy Holly died.”*
*American Graffiti* made George Lucas a directorial superstar and for good reason. Like a lot of great nostalgia pieces (*Meet Me in St. Louis, Summer of 42, Cooley High, New York New York, Dazed and Confused)* it seems to get better the further it gets from its original release date. With *The Last Picture Show* Bogdanovich and *Ben Hur* cinematographer Robert Surtees (father of *King of Darkness* Bruce Surtees) silky black and white photography had the effect of draining every modern aspect out of the movie. And in *Summer of 42,* the cinematographer *(again, Robert Surtees, in the same fucking year!)* doesnt just do a great approximation of fifties Technicolor (like Gordon Willis will later do in *September 30, 1955*), he *actually* shoots it in Technicolor (if you havent seen *Summer of 42* projected in an *I.B. Technicolor 35mm film print,* you havent seen *Summer of 42*).
But George Lucas goes the other way when it comes to capturing his memories on film. Lucas invokes the candy-colored pop ephemera of the fifties in *his* visual scheme. The green hues of the fluorescent bulbs that light the liquor stores, hamburger stands, and pinball arcades that the characters loiter around. The bright colors of the jukeboxes, diner neon signs, and the candy apple red and canary yellow of the hot rods that cruise up and down the main drag. Lucas poignantly parades all this in front of us with the added knowledge that all this glorious chrome and paint and pomade is about to go out of style and be replaced by space-age sixties chic.
George fills *Graffiti* with one clever stroke after another. One of the strokes that helped make the movie tremendously popular was the wall-to-wall fifties rock and roll soundtrack that can be heard in the film from beginning to end. Usually emanating from various car radios. Including in this radio soundscape the voice of all-night dis- jockey Wolfman Jack, who acts as the films de facto narrator. Lucas didnt invent the radio soundscape. Bogdanovich used it and used it vividly in his first two movies (*Targets* and *The Last Picture Show*), as well as in his new picture that year of 73, *Paper Moon.
*Writer/director Floyd Mutrux would also make the radio soundscape his own in all of his pictures (*Dusty and Sweets McGee, Aloha Bobby and Rose, American Hot Wax,* and *The Hollywood Knights*). And also the same year as *American Graffiti,* Martin Scorsese will create a jukebox soundscape emanating from the Little Italy cocktail lounges and pool halls in *Mean Streets.* But the reason every new movie featuring young people from 1974 to the present features a wall-to-wall soundtrack of pop tunes (not to mention a soundtrack album collection of hits) is due to the influence of *American Graffiti.
*But even more important to the success of the movie than all that boss radio was the fact that the whole movie takes place during the course of one night. And the film concludes when the sun comes up, Milner races Falfa, Curt finally talks to the blonde in the white T-Bird (Suzanne Somers), and then finally, boards the airplane (minus Ron Howards Steve) that will whisk him away from Modesto forever.
Personally, I think Curt always knew he was going to get on that airplane. He just wanted it to be *his* idea and not some pre-ordained destiny. His wandering around all over town all night was just Curts way of saying goodbye.
Many other films would come along that tried to duplicate *American Graffitis* one-night structure, telling a story with a gang of characters, and then cross-cutting back and forth between them all picture long. But in other films, the different pockets of characters were usually given proper storylines. But the different vignettes of the shenanigans the *Graffiti* gang gets into never really rises to the level of *story.* It just poses different questions to the audience about what will or will not happen to the different characters as the night progresses.
Whos the girl in the white T-Bird?
Will Curt finally meet her?
Will Curt leave in the morning?
Will Steve and Laurie (Cindy Williams, who may give the strongest characterization in the whole film) break up?
Will Big John beat Bob Falfa?
Will The Toad get lucky?
At the end of the night, what will Candy Clarks Debbie do? (Debbie really deserved a closing crawl wrap-up, but the sequel *More American Graffiti* provided Debbie with a 67 Haight-Ashbury future).
All these vignettes play great, and the film seamlessly cross-cuts between all of them. However, the one thats the least convincing is Curts encounter with the street gang The Pharaohs*.
*Its the only part of the movie where you feel that the screenplay is going out of its way to create hijinxs for the character. Even the comic vignette of The Toad trying to buy alcohol outside a liquor store seems organic to both the movie and Toads rite of passage.
But the whole gag where the cop car loses its wheels, today, seems contrived (it doesnt help that a dozen other movies have copied it verbatim). Now if George Lucas is reading this, Im sure his response would be; “*Sorry, Quentin, if you didnt care for that gag, but more than any other thing youve mentioned, that gag was the reason we were ultimately able to sell the movie and was an audience highlight.”*
Fair enough.
In 1973 the audience needed *that* big laugh at *that* moment in the picture. And the TV spot that sold the picture to audiences *really* needed it. That gag isnt my problem with The Pharaohs section. My problem is the outrageous miscasting of Bo Hopkins as Pharaohs gang leader *Joe.
*No dont get me wrong, Im a huge Bo Hopkins fan. And I dont just mean in Peckinpah films. I love him in *White Lightning* (for my money the best country-fried co-star Burt Reynolds ever had), *The Nickel Ride, Posse, A Small Town in Texas,* and *Tentacles.* And during a brief moment in the seventies, when it looked as if Hopkins might pull off a transition from interesting young character actor to interesting young leading man (it was mentioned by some he possessed *a McQueen quality)*, I was rooting for him and was disappointed when he drifted back into supporting character roles once again (In one of his arcane pop culture references, Dennis Miller once referred to him as, *The Poor mans Jerry Reed!”).* But in *American Graffiti* the entertaining performer is the one blatantly false note in the picture. The reason Hopkins seems so out of place (aside from the fact he looks like hes thirty-five) is its pretty fucking obvious Joe was written to be Latino. The rest of the gang are Latino (or look Latino at least). Whats cool about The Pharaohs sub-plot, is after watching all these Northern California white boys drive up and down the street in cars their parents (probably) helped them buy, The Pharaohs represent (in what I think is a Hollywood studio movie first) Low Ryder culture.
The films whole cast spends most of their time cruising in cars. And its almost cute how squeaky clean they are (their form of juvenile delinquency involves water balloons and cans of shaving cream).
But as soon as we get in the car with The Pharaohs, out comes the reefer and the forties of malt liquor, and they start riffing and talking shit like its *Boulevard Nights.
*But what the fuck is thirty-five-year-old, blonde hillbilly Bo Hopkins doing in that car?
Jesus Christ, he looks more out of place than Richard Dreyfuss does.
I suspect George Lucas was persuaded to make the leader of the gang white so as not to have the only featured minority in the cast be a hood. But the scene when Dreyfuss Curt is in the back seat of The Pharaohs car has a definite racial element to it. Its not just that The Pharaohs are from the wrong side of the tracks (the town seems too small to have different tracks or two competing High Schools). When Curt is trapped in the backseat of their car its obvious he doesnt belong there. And not just because hes not a street gang type or a tough guy, its because hes white. What saves the scene is Dreyfuss bemused reaction to being kidnapped.
     *Well, if nobody is telling me that Im being kidnapped, I dont really know for sure if I am being kidnapped.*
     *Well…rather than know for sure, lets just pretend Im hanging out with these guys because I want to.*
However just because I think Bo Hopkins doesnt work in *American Graffiti,* I dont really blame him, its Lucas and casting director Fred Roos fault for making such a disastrous casting decision (Id love to know who the second or third choice was? Sylvester Stallone? Henry Winkler? How about Pepe Serna? Or Rudy Ramos? No, hilllbilly Bo Hopkins was absolutely the perfect choice). But Im happy to report as a lifelong Bo Hopkins fan that Hopkins character shows up in the sequel during The Toads Vietnam sequence. And in *that* setting, Hopkins redeems the miscasting of the first film.     
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Tag: ["🚔", "🤵🏻", "Racism", "🇺🇸"]
Date: 2022-05-22
DocType: "WebClipping"
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Link: https://www.newyorker.com/news/our-columnists/american-racism-and-the-buffalo-massacre
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# American Racism and the Buffalo Shooting
On Saturday, in the parking lot of a neighborhood grocery store, an eighteen-year-old armed with a semi-automatic assault rifle, the N-word emblazoned on its front sight, began shooting. Shots cracked in the air, piercing through an unusually warm eighty-degree spring afternoon in Buffalo, New York. The teen-ager, who was later identified by the police, donned military-esque camouflage, was draped in body armor, and wore a camera to capture his bloody rampage. When the shooting stopped, thirteen people had been hit, ten of them killed. Eleven of those shot were Black. The gunman was captured by the police when he left the grocery store, and, by late Saturday night, he was arraigned on charges of first-degree murder.
The shooter is alleged to have posted a hundred-and-eighty-page “manifesto” avowing white-supremacist beliefs. In the hate-filled text, he denounced immigrants and Black people as “replacers” of white people. [The notion that white people are being replaced](https://www.newyorker.com/news/q-and-a/making-sense-of-the-racist-mass-shooting-in-buffalo) has recently moved from the fringe of far-right politics to mainstream Republican Party politics. The Fox News personality Tucker Carlson has helped to popularize the ideology, and it has dovetailed seamlessly with the rhetoric of the Republican Party, which has insisted on describing the arrival of migrants at the southern border—seeking entry into the U.S. as asylum seekers—as an “invasion.”
The shooter rationalized his vicious attack by trying to fit it into this grand, esoteric conspiracy of white replacement through immigration. His manifesto, by contrast, is filled with crudely racist memes about Black Americans. In fact, for all his denunciation of “replacers” in the manifesto, an archive of his posts on the messaging platform Discord, from the past six months, barely mentions immigrants. Instead, he writes prolifically and disparagingly about Black people, whom he incessantly describes with racial slurs. In a search of archived posts beginning in 2021, the word “immigrant” appears twelve times, “replacement” eighteen times, “replacer” twenty-two times, but “blacks” and the N-word each appear a hundred times.
The manifesto seems intended to confer a sense of intellectual sophistication on his savage act. But the shooters Discord posts are full of sophomoric, even banal stereotypes about Black people—as genetically inferior, as predisposed to crime. The shooter claims inspiration from the white supremacist who murdered fifty-one worshippers at a mosque in Christchurch, New Zealand, in 2019. The Christchurch shooter also recorded his massacre and left a manifesto. But, for all of the Buffalo shooters professed inspiration from [the Christchurch massacre](https://www.newyorker.com/news/daily-comment/the-new-zealand-shooting-and-the-great-man-theory-of-misery), his actions seem to flow primarily from homegrown resentments. He searched by Zip Code for the largest Black population close to where he lived, in order to “kill as many blacks as possible.” His research led him to a grocery store, on the citys East Side, along the Jefferson Avenue commercial corridor, running through the heart of Black Buffalo.
Once startling and noteworthy, mass shootings have melded into the background of life in the U.S. Since January, there have been almost two hundred shootings involving at least four victims shot or killed, according to the Gun Violence Archive. A recent report published by the C.D.C. showed that, from [2019 to 2020](https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/71/wr/mm7119e1.htm?s_cid=mm7119e1_w), the over-all homicide rate involving a firearm rose by nearly thirty-five per cent. The Buffalo massacre stands out not only because of the number of people killed but because of the political nature of the assault. This must be viewed within the context of the growing normalization of racism and political violence in the U.S. If [Dylann Roof](https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2017/02/06/inside-the-trial-of-dylann-roof), the white racist who killed nine Black parishioners at the Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in June of 2015, helped to inaugurate the racial grievance at the core of [the Trump Presidency](https://www.newyorker.com/news/our-columnists/the-bitter-fruits-of-trumps-white-power-presidency), then the Buffalo shooters killing spree may be emblematic of its still rippling effects. Roof, whom the Buffalo shooter acknowledges in his manifesto as a “freedom fighter,” also penned a manifesto full of deranged ideas, linking Black crime with the decline of white life in the U.S.
In his manifesto, the Buffalo shooter writes, “Blacks are the most privileged race in the US and many western countries. But yet they say they are the most oppressed. What other race is given trillions of dollars of White taxpayer money to succeed, but yet fails and asks for more? What other race actively destroys their communities like they do?” The comments do not sound very different from those [made by former President Trump](https://www.newyorker.com/news/daily-comment/donald-trump-elijah-cummings-and-the-definition-of-a-rodent), who tweeted in the summer of 2019, of the late African American congressman Elijah Cummingss majority-Black Baltimore district, “Why is so much money sent to the Elijah Cummings district when it is considered the worst run and most dangerous anywhere in the United States. No human being would want to live there. Where is all this money going? How much is stolen?” and “Cumming District is a disgusting, rat and rodent infested mess. If he spent more time in Baltimore, maybe he could help clean up this very dangerous & filthy place.”
Trump coddled avowed white supremacists during his Presidency, and his open stoking of racial animus unshackled the Republican Party from norms long held in mainstream politics. One day prior to Roofs mass murder, Trump announced his candidacy for President in New York City and called Mexican immigrants “rapists.” When white supremacists marched through Charlottesville, Virginia, in the summer of 2017, screaming “Jews will not replace us,” [Trump claimed](https://www.newyorker.com/news/amy-davidson-sorkin/donald-trump-from-his-tower-rages-at-the-other-side-in-charlottesville) that some of the demagogues were “very fine people.” Before the Christchurch shooter carried out his massacre, in 2019, he hailed Trump as a “symbol of renewed white identity and common purpose.” The President called the attack “horrible” but downplayed the threat of white nationalism in the same breath. Throughout 2020, as historic protests against racism unfolded, and an election loomed, the Republican Party continued to court its right-wing fringe. Seventeen-year-old [Kyle Rittenhouse](https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2021/07/05/kyle-rittenhouse-american-vigilante) menaced a Black Lives Matter protest in Kenosha, Wisconsin; armed with an AR-15-style semi-automatic rifle, killed two unarmed men; and overnight became a celebrity within the Republican Party. Trump defended Rittenhouse; Wisconsins Republican senator, Ron Johnson, also refused to condemn him. Rittenhouse was eventually acquitted of first-degree-homicide charges, last November, and remains a hero on the right. During [the assault on the Capitol](https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2021/01/25/among-the-insurrectionists), on January 6, 2021, extremists and the mainstream Republican Party came together in an act of violence intended to overturn the results of the election. This marked a dangerous turning point in U.S. politics, when it became clear that, for the right, anything was on the table when it came to preserving political power.
As the protests of 2020 receded into the background, Republicans went on the offensive. One of Trumps last initiatives in office was the formation of the 1776 Commission, undertaken as a rebuke to the New York *Times* 1619 Project. “The crusade against American history is toxic propaganda, ideological poison, that, if not removed, will dissolve the civic bonds that tie us together. It will destroy our country,” he said. This has since evolved into a generalized strategy, intended to shift the conversation away from systemic racism, voting rights, and police reform, and toward a fight over critical race theory. As the culture warrior Christopher Rufo, of the Manhattan Institute, [put it](https://www.newyorker.com/news/annals-of-inquiry/how-a-conservative-activist-invented-the-conflict-over-critical-race-theory):
> Weve needed new language for these issues. . . . “Political correctness” is a dated term and, more importantly, doesnt apply anymore. . . . Its much more invasive than mere “correctness,” which is a mechanism of social control, but not the heart of whats happening. The other frames are wrong, too: “cancel culture” is a vacuous term and doesnt translate into a political program; “woke” is a good epithet, but its too broad, too terminal, too easily brushed aside. “Critical race theory” is the perfect villain.
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Tag: ["🤵🏻", "🇺🇸", "🇵🇭", "🎓"]
Date: 2022-10-09
DocType: "WebClipping"
Hierarchy:
TimeStamp: 2022-10-09
Link: https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2022/10/02/teacher-shortage-bullhead-city-arizona/
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# An American education
## Amid a historic U.S. teacher shortage, a Most Outstanding Teacher from the Philippines tries to help save a struggling school in rural Arizona
Rose Jean Obreque assists a student during class at Fox Creek Junior High School in Bullhead City, Ariz., on Sept. 13. Obreque is one of several teachers who relocated to Bullhead City from the Philippines to help with a teacher shortage in the school district. (Joshua Lott/The Washington Post)
BULLHEAD CITY, Ariz. — Carolyn Stewart had spent the past five months trying to find teachers for the Bullhead City School District, and now she walked into the Las Vegas airport holding up a sign with the name of her latest hire. The 75-year-old superintendent wandered through the international baggage claim, calling out a name she had just learned to pronounce. “Ms. Obreque?” she said. “Teacher Rose Jean Obreque?”
She saw a woman smiling and moving toward her with a large suitcase.
“Are you our new teacher?” Stewart asked, but the woman shook her head and walked by.
Stewart raised the sign above her head and took out her phone to check in with her office 100 miles south in Bullhead City, Ariz. The 2,300 students in her district had been back in school for several weeks, but she was still missing almost 30 percent of her classroom staff. Each day involved a high-wire act of emergency substitutes and reconfigured classrooms as the fallout continued to arrive in her email. Another teacher had just written to give her two-week notice, citing “chronic exhaustion.” A new statewide report had found that elementary and junior high test scores in math had dropped by as much as 11 percentage points since the beginning of the pandemic. The principal of her junior high had sent a message with the subject line “venting.”
“The first two weeks have been the hardest thing Ive ever faced,” he wrote. “My teachers are burnt out already. They come to me for answers and I really have none. We are, as my dad used to say, four flat tires from bankruptcy, except in this case we are one teacher away from not being able to operate the school.”
Stewart had been working in some of the countrys most challenging public schools for 52 years, but only in recent months had she begun to worry that the entire system of American education was at risk of failing. The United States had lost 370,000 teachers since the beginning of the pandemic, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Maine had started recruiting summer camp counselors into classrooms, Florida was relying on military veterans with no prior teaching experience, and Arizona had dropped its college-degree requirement, but Stewart was still struggling to find people willing to teach in a high-poverty district for a starting salary of $38,500 a year.
Shed sent recruiters to hiring fairs across the state, but they had come back without a single lead. Shed advertised on college campuses and at job fairs across the country and eventually come up with a half-dozen qualified applicants for 42 openings. “Basically, we need bodies at this point,” shed told her school board, and theyd agreed to hire 20 foreign teachers with masters degrees to move from the Philippines to the desert of rural Arizona.
“Excuse me, Dr. Stewart?” She turned around to see a young woman who at first glance Stewart mistook for one of her students. She was less than 5 feet tall, wearing a backpack, hauling two large suitcases and pointing at Stewarts sign. “Thats me,” she said.
“Ms. Obreque!” Stewart said, pulling her into a hug. “Your suitcases are bigger than you. Let me help.”
“Thank you, maam, but I can handle it. I am very determined.”
Obreque, 31, grabbed her bags, and together they walked across the terminal to meet a few other Filipino teachers who had arrived in Las Vegas earlier that afternoon.
“How was your trip?” Stewart asked, and Obreque explained that she had left home four days earlier, traveled six hours to Manila, waited out a delay with her visa paperwork and then flown another 14 hours to the United States. She held up her phone and took pictures of the airport concourse, the escalators, the fast-food restaurants and a sign that said, “Welcome to Las Vegas.”
“My first international trip, and it is to my dream country,” she said.
“You must be so exhausted,” Stewart said.
“And excited,” Obreque said. “I am very eager to be in the classroom.”
Eleven different teachers had already substituted in what would soon be Obreques eighth-grade English classroom at Fox Creek Junior High, including the principal, the vice principal, the band director, a softball coach, a school board member and then finally Stewart, whod volunteered one day when another substitute was called away to a different class.
Despite the fact that “superintendent” was imprinted on her name tag, some of the students had tested her, folding their handouts into paper airplanes and talking during her lectures. It had taken all five decades of her experience to harness control of the room and successfully complete her lesson, and by the end of the day she was so exhausted that shed sat through 45 minutes of muscle cramps in the teachers lounge before she felt well enough to walk back out to her car.
“Were very grateful to have you here,” she told Obreque.
“Thank you for the opportunity to teach in America,” Obreque said. “It will be the pinnacle of my career.”
\*\*\*
She left the airport in a car with three other Filipino teachers and pressed her phone against the window to photograph the casino hotels, the downtown high-rises, the glistening pools of the suburbs and the neat rows of palm trees on the outskirts of town. Civilization began to give way to red dirt and jagged rock formations. The cars thermometer showed an outside temperature of 114 degrees. Obreque put away her phone and watched heat waves rise off the desert.
“I imagined it would be greener,” she said.
“This isnt like America in the movies,” said Anne Cuevas, a Filipina whod already been teaching in Bullhead City for four years and had traveled to greet the new teachers in Las Vegas.
Cuevas had been hired before the pandemic as one of the first foreign teachers in Bullhead City, when the school district began to recognize signs of an impending teacher shortage. The Philippines and the United States have similar school calendars, curriculums and grading systems, which is why U.S. schools have hired more than 1,000 Filipino teachers in the past few years. Most Filipino teachers have masters degrees or doctorates. In the Philippines, teaching is considered a highly competitive profession, with an average of 14 applicants for each open position, and teachers are constantly evaluated and ranked against their peers.
“What were your ratings?” Cuevas asked her passengers, all of whom had arrived in the United States for the first time earlier that afternoon.
“I was rated Outstanding Teacher — top five in my school,” said Vanessa Bravo, a seventh-grade math teacher whod left behind her husband and three sons, ages 15, 12 and 10.
“Outstanding Teacher as well,” said Sheena Feliciano, whose father drove a bicycle taxi in Manila.
They looked at Obreque and waited for her answer. “Its okay if youre too embarrassed to tell us,” Cuevas teased.
“Most Outstanding Teacher,” Obreque said. “Last year, I ranked first of 42 teachers at my school.”
It was something she had worked to achieve for almost a decade, ever since she had earned a masters degree in education and couldnt find a teaching job anywhere. Shed worked the night shift at a call center, improving her English as she offered technical support for an American company based 7,000 miles away, until finally her 17th teaching application led to a job at a school in the farmland outside of La Carlota City for the equivalent U.S. salary of $5,000 per year.
Her seventh-grade students there were the children of fishermen and sugar cane farmers. They arrived for school early, even if they had to walk more than a mile to get there. They called her “maam.” They brought her homemade lunches. They wrote thank-you notes at the end of each week. They aspired to become engineers or doctors or teachers like her, and they volunteered to stay after school for extra lessons rather than returning home to work in the sugar cane fields. Obreque started an after-school program for struggling readers. She led the schools innovations club to a regional first-place finish. She recorded daily video lessons during the pandemic and hiked to remote villages to make home visits, until her ambition landed her at the top of the teacher rankings and she began to hear from recruitment agencies around the world.
“Teach the Worlds Best in America!” read the brochure from one international teaching agency. Obreque had talked it over with her husband and agreed that the possibility of a $30,000 raise was worth the hardship of living apart. Shed interviewed over Zoom with schools in New Mexico and Arizona and then received an offer to teach in Bullhead City under a J-1 visa, which granted her permission to live in the United States for three years. Shed taken out $8,000 in high-interest loans to pay for the agency fees, a plane ticket, two new teaching outfits and the first months rent on a two-bedroom apartment she planned to share with five other foreign teachers.
Now the sun set on the Mojave Desert as they drove over a hill and began descending toward Bullhead City, a town of 40,000 across the Colorado River from the casinos of Laughlin, Nev. They drove by riverside trailer parks and run-down taquerias.
“Welcome home,” Cuevas said, as Obreque stared out the window at the scattering of city lights surrounded by blackness.
“Its smaller than I thought,” she said.
“Everything here is different from what you expect,” Cuevas said.
\*\*\*
She woke up jet-lagged on a mattress on the floor, changed into one of her new outfits and piled into a car with four other foreign teachers at Fox Creek Junior High to say hello to the principal, who was busy staring at the daily class schedule on his computer, trying to solve the puzzle of another day. Lester Eastman was down to one special-education teacher when he was supposed to have three. He was missing a teacher for five of that days art classes, five English classes, 10 math, 10 science and five journalism. All of his available teachers would have to cover an additional class during their planning periods. Eastman would spend his day teaching math. The vice principal would babysit art. “Plugging holes on a sinking boat,” Eastman said, as he finished filling in the daily grid, and then he left his office to greet the new teachers.
“What time is it right now in the Philippines?” he asked, as he shook their hands.
“Its tomorrow, sir,” Obreque said.
“Well, were going to give you a little time to adjust before we throw you in front of a class,” he said, and then he thought about what else he wanted to tell them about Fox Creek, and all the ways he could characterize their new school. There was its F letter grade from the state of Arizona, issued shortly before the pandemic. There were the standardized test scores that showed fewer than 20 percent of students were proficient in either English or math, and more than half were performing at least a few years below their grade level. There were the $4.5 billion in statewide education cuts over the past decade, which had left him with a shortened four-day school week and some of the lowest-paid teachers in the country. There was the fact that many of those teachers in the district were now working beyond retirement age and taking on extra classes because they refused to walk away from a student population that so many others had abandoned. There was the school dining room, where every student qualified for free or reduced-price meals. There was the continued fallout of the pandemic, which had decimated their working-class town of casino dealers and hotel service workers, killing almost 1 percent of the population. There was the scene that moved Eastman each morning, when 600 children from those same families managed to show up on time in matching blue Fox Creek shirts to a school he sometimes worried was failing them.
But for at least the next few weeks, Eastman had decided that he wanted his staff to focus on only one aspect of life at Fox Creek: student behavior. After years of remote and hybrid learning, some of the students had come back to school full time in 2021 with little sense of how to act in a classroom. Disruptions had been constant. Suspensions had nearly doubled. Eleven of his 28 teachers had resigned at the end of the previous school year, and now Eastman had instructed what was left of his staff to avoid teaching any new material until they had established control of their classrooms.
“Rules. Procedures. Classroom management,” Eastman said. “These middle-schoolers can be like the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park. They test the fence. They push the boundary. Its in their DNA.”
“Discipline is crucial,” Obreque said. “Consistency is important.”
“Some of these kids will take timid and quiet and just eat it for lunch,” he said. “Once you win their respect, youll all do great.”
He showed Obreque to her classroom, where her job for the day was simply to observe. She wrote notes as she watched a PE teacher silence a class with his whistle. Then Cuevas came in to teach the next class, and she called Obreque to the front of the room to introduce herself.
“Im Ms. Obreque, and Im honored to be your new teacher,” she said.
“Miss who?” a student asked. “Can you talk louder?”
She nodded and stepped forward. “Ms. Obreque,” she said again, and several students began to talk at once.
“Are you strict?”
“How old are you? You look like youre in high school.”
“Are you married?”
“How do you say your name again? Miss teacher something?”
“Raise your hands, please,” Obreque said. “We will be living together in this room for the next year. If you respect me, I will respect you. If you love me, I will love you.”
Several of the boys in the room started to laugh and then shout more questions. “One at a time please,” Obreque said, but a chorus of voices overwhelmed hers, until Cuevas clapped her hands. “Guys, enough!” she said. She handed out their vocabulary work, and Obreque watched and took notes until the final bell.
“Howd everything go?” Eastman asked later, when he saw her in the hallway.
“Im learning a lot, sir,” she said.
He gave her a thumbs-up, went into his office and opened the class grid for the next day. Twenty-six empty squares. Nineteen overworked teachers left to fill in during their only planning period. One of those teachers had diabetes, and shed gotten a note from her doctor saying she needed more breaks to recuperate. Another had told Eastman he was worried about suffering a heart attack from stress.
“This is a very devoted staff, but weve reached a breaking point,” Eastman said, and he hoped that with some supervision and mentorship, the new foreign teachers could begin providing a little relief. He clicked on a blank square for an eighth-grade English class and typed in a name: “Obreque,” he wrote.
\*\*\*
She stepped in front of the class and clasped her hands together to stop them from shaking. “Lets start with something easy,” she told the students, as the PE teacher sat in the back of the room in case she needed help. She handed out a blank sheet of paper to each student and explained their first task: to fold the paper into a name tag, write their first name in large letters and copy down a few classroom rules. “See? Simple,” she said, as she held up her own paper and demonstrated folding it into thirds. “Any questions?”
A student in the front row raised her hand: “Can I go to the bathroom?” she asked.
“Of course,” Obreque said, and then another student stood from his desk.
“Me too. Bathroom,” he said.
“Next time please raise your hand,” she said. “But yes. Go ahead.”
The students began to fold their papers as Obreque walked around to check on their work. There were 24 students in the room — half the size of her typical class in the Philippines. They had backpacks and proper school supplies. They had a classroom with state-of-the-art technology and air conditioning. “Wonderful work,” she said, as she watched a student draw hearts to create a border around her name tag, and then Obreque circled toward the back row, where a group of boys were huddled in a circle. “Lets see your progress,” she said. One boy held up a name tag that read “Donut Man,” as the others laughed. Another student had folded his paper into an airplane. Another had dropped his paper on the floor and was stabbing his pencil into the side of his desk.
“Is everything all right?” Obreque asked. “Why arent you participating?”
Cause my pencils broken,” he said, banging it harder against the desk until it snapped. He picked up the two broken pieces and held them out to her as proof. “What do you want me to do?” he asked, smiling at her, and Obreque looked at him for a moment and then decided that his behavior was her fault. Maybe she hadnt communicated the assignment properly. Maybe, instead of beginning the class by making name tags, she should have started with the rules so they knew how to behave. She walked back to the front of the room. “Eyes up here,” she said, as several of the students continued to talk. “Five, four, three …” she said, as the students shouted over her, until finally the PE teacher blew his whistle. “Hey! Try doing that to me and see what happens,” he said. “Be quiet and listen to your teacher.”
Obreque nodded at him and then continued. “I want this class to be systematic,” she said. “We are not animals. We are not in the jungle. We should be guided by rules, or we will not be successful in our learning, right?”
“Yeah, guys. Were not animals,” one student said, and then a few boys began to make jungle noises until the PE teacher blew his whistle again.
“If you want to be respected, show me respect,” Obreque said. “Human beings are supposed to be able to follow simple instructions. You come to school to learn, right?”
“Nah, I come because my parents make me,” one student said, turning to smile at his seatmate.
“Yeah, and because somehow you havent gotten expelled yet,” his seatmate responded, shoving his friend in the shoulder.
“And cause the girls here are fine as hell,” the student said, punching his friend back in the arm.
“Enough!” Obreque shouted, using a voice louder than shed ever used in seven years of teaching in the Philippines. “What is an example of behaving with dignity and respect? Please, answer and raise your hand.”
A boy in the front row raised an arm that was covered with tic-tac-toe games played out in marker. “Yes,” Obreque said. “Thank you for volunteering.”
“Can I go to the bathroom?” he asked.
She sighed, nodded and scanned the room for another hand. “Who else?” she asked. “Anybody? Remember, cooperation is very important for a class to be successful.”
“Bathroom?” another student asked, but before Obreque could answer she heard the sound of the bell. The students rushed out. The PE teacher put his whistle in his pocket. “Sorry. They can be brutal,” he told her, and he left to teach his next class as Obreque stood alone in the room, still trying to make sense of what had just happened. Sixteen bathroom trips. Seven completed name tags.
“I am capable of doing so much better,” she said, as another class began to arrive. She would start by going over the classroom rules. She would establish control. She would demand their respect instead of asking for it.
“Can I go to the bathroom?” a student asked, a little while later, and Obreque shook her head.
“Not now,” she said. “We are in the middle of working.”
The student slapped his desk and turned to his friend. “This teacher wants me to pee my pants,” he said, and Obreque told him to move to a desk across the classroom.
“Honestly, this is America. We have a right to go to the bathroom,” another student said, and more students called out in agreement until Obreque was straining her vocal cords to shout over them. “I want you to listen!” she said. “We are not in the jungle. We are human beings, right? We cannot proceed with all this disruption.”
“We cannot proceed!” one of the students yelled out, as if declaring victory, and others started to laugh and yell, too. “Please, have some respect!” Obreque said, but only a few students seemed to hear her. “Five, four, three, two, one,” Obreque shouted, but they werent quieting down, and there was nothing but more humiliation waiting for her at zero. She decided to try a tactic shed used a few times in the Philippines, planting herself quietly at the front of the room, modeling silence, looking from one student to the next and waiting for them to recognize their own bad behavior. A boy was chewing on the collar of his shirt. A girl was taping pencils to each of her fingers and then pawing at the boy next to her. Two boys were playing a version of bumper cars with their desks. A girl was pouring water from a cup into another girls mouth, and that girl was spitting the water onto the student next to her. “Ugh, miss teacher lady? Can I go wash off this spit water?” the student asked. A boy was standing up and intentionally tripping over his friends legs. A girl was starting a game of hangman on the whiteboard. A boy was walking up to the front of the classroom, holding out a piece of paper rolled into the shape of a microphone, and pretending to interview Obreque. “So, what do you think of life at Fox Creek?” he asked.
“I heard the bell ring!” one student shouted, and suddenly a dozen students were scrambling out of their desks.
“Wait for me to dismiss you!” Obreque said, looking up at the clock, because she hadnt heard anything, and she wasnt sure if the class was supposed to be over.
“We heard the bell,” another student said, as he opened the door to leave, and before long the students were gone and the classroom was empty. Obreque held her hand up against her sore throat. She wiped the game of hangman off the whiteboard and started to collect several paper airplanes and notes left behind on the floor. “Can you even understand her?” one of the notes read, and she dropped it into the trash and then took out her phone, where there was a message waiting from her husband. “Im proud of you,” hed written. “I know you will impress them.”
She wiped her eyes and put the phone back into her purse, and only then did she hear the bell actually begin to ring.
\*\*\*
She wanted to quit. She wanted to leave Bullhead City, travel back across the desert to Las Vegas and fly to La Carlota City, but she was $8,000 in debt and 7,000 miles from the Philippines, and instead the only safe place she could think to go was a few doors down the hall, into Cuevass empty classroom at the end of the school day. Three of the other new foreign teachers were already seated around the room, recovering from their days. Obreque dropped her bag on the floor and walked over to join them.
“I dont know even what to say,” she said.
“One day teaching here is like a month in the Philippines,” another teacher said.
“Five of these students is like 20 back home,” another said.
“I dont know how to handle them,” Obreque said. “I cant connect. I cant teach.” She looked at Cuevas. “Im sorry if I am a disappointment, maam. What could be a bigger failure than crying on my first day?”
“Oh, I did that every day for six months,” she said, and the other teachers looked at her in disbelief, because they knew Cuevas as the model of Americanized self-assurance, with her own YouTube channel to share teaching tips and a new designation as one of Bullhead City School Districts employees of the month. “I was the worst teacher here for a whole year,” she told them. “The students ran all over me. I lost my confidence. I wanted to go home.”
She told them that it had taken her a year to pay off her debts to the international teaching agency, two years to get her Arizona drivers license and three years to move out of a bedroom shed shared with other international teachers and into her own apartment. Shed applied for an extension on her J-1 visa to stay in Bullhead City for two extra years as she continued to figure out how to build strong relationships with her students. “You have to prove that you really care about them,” she said, so shed gone to the dollar store, spent her own money on art supplies and redecorated her classroom into a movie theater on premiere night, with a red carpet and a VIP door and a banner that read: “Every Student Is a Star.” She started attending her students sporting events, staying after school for volleyball and basketball games, and watching YouTube videos to learn the rules for American football. She watched every one of the Marvel movies they talked about during class. She called their parents not just with concerns but also to share praise each time a student impressed her. She gradually moved beyond her Filipino instinct for classroom formality and began asking her students about their lives, and they introduced her to a version of America much different from what shed first expected: abusive families, homelessness, surging drug overdose deaths, conspiratorial ideologies, loneliness, suicide, alcoholism and poverty every bit as bad as anything shed encountered in the Philippines.
“In a lot of ways, they are broken and hurting,” she said, and because of that shed come to admire her colleagues for their dedication and appreciate her students for their resilience, their irreverence, their bravado, their candor and, most of all, for their vulnerability. Shed turned herself into one of the most beloved teachers in a school that couldnt find enough teachers, and yet she would be legally required to return to the Philippines when her visa expired in eight months.
“The students here are difficult, but they need you,” Cuevas told the other teachers now. “Maybe you can do something to motivate them, to give them more hope.”
“I dont know if Im going to be able to help them,” Obreque told her.
“There is literally no one else,” Cuevas said.
\*\*\*
The top-ranked teacher from La Carlota City was standing outside her classroom the next morning, ready to teach her students how to learn. “This is how you enter the classroom,” she said, forming them into a line and leading them in. “This is how you throw away your garbage,” she said, as they walked past the trash can and she dropped a piece of paper directly into it. “This is how you sit and listen,” she said, lowering herself into a desk, demonstrating stillness. “This is how you participate,” she said, raising her right hand.
Their lesson for the day was a three-paragraph reading comprehension exercise, the kind of assignment that would have taken Obreque about 20 minutes to complete with her seventh-graders in the Philippines. But at Fox Creek only 19 percent of her eighth-graders were proficient in reading, based on their state assessments, so she planned to take it slowly using a teaching strategy shed learned in her masters program, called higher-order thinking skills, which involved asking a series of simple comprehension questions after each sentence of the story to build confidence and encourage class participation. She handed out the assignment, which came from the schools preplanned curriculum, and read the title of the story out loud: “Life, Liberty, and Ho Chi Minh.”
“Okay, so the title of our reading today is life, liberty and what?” she asked.
“Ho Chi Minh?” a few students said.
“Yes. Very good,” Obreque told them. She asked for someone to read the story aloud, and when no one volunteered, she pointed to a boy in the front row.
“Seriously?” he said, and she nodded at him. “Fine. Whatever,” he said, leaning down to look at the story. “By 1941, Ho was known as a …’ Sorry. I dont know this next word.”
“Fierce,” Obreque said, reading along.
“Okay. Yeah. Fierce. A fierce supporter of Vietnamese independence. Ho …’ ”
“Ho!” another boy called out, laughing.
“Shut up and let me read,” the student said.
“Whoa. Watch your language, bro. This isnt the jungle, remember?”
“Yeah, then how come Im about to punch you in the mouth?”
“Enough!” Obreque shouted, but several students continued to laugh and yell and disrupt the reading, until finally another teacher came into the room from his classroom next door. “You think its funny that I can hear you through the wall?” he said. “Its not funny. Its embarrassing. Do better.” Theyd been working for more than half an hour to read seven sentences, and Obreque was beginning to lose her voice. “Please, I can feel that Im hurting myself to make you listen,” she told them, putting a hand up against her throat, and then she pointed back at the text and asked another student to read a passage about how Ho Chi Minh had drawn inspiration from the U.S. Declaration of Independence.
“Okay,” Obreque said, once the student had finished. “Ho Chi Minh lived all the way across the ocean. Why do you think he would use America as his example?”
The students stared back at her.
“Why America? What is so special about America?”
“Fast cash and fast food,” one student said.
“Okay, yes. Fast food is an export. But what makes this country great?”
She waited for a moment as the students began to talk to each other, write notes, fold airplanes, bounce in their seats, stare off into space and rest their heads on their desks, until finally one girl raised her hand and stood from her seat. “Bathroom?” she asked, and Obreque nodded and turned back to the class.
“America is a beacon of freedom, is it not?” she asked. “You have education. You have independence. You can achieve anything, right?”
She looked around the room and found no raised hands, no answers, nothing at all to quiet her own rising doubt, so she attempted the question again. “Isnt America supposed to be a model for the world?” she asked.
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# An ancient language has defied decryption for 100 years. Can AI crack the code?
Jiaming Luo grew up in mainland China thinking about neglected languages. When he was younger, he wondered why the different languages his mother and father spoke were often lumped together as Chinese “dialects.”
When he became a computer science doctoral student at MIT in 2015, his interest collided with his advisors long-standing fascination with ancient scripts. After all, what could be more neglected — or, to use Luos more academic term, “lower resourced” — than a long-lost language, left to us as enigmatic symbols on scattered fragments? “I think of these languages as mysteries,” Luo told _Rest of World_ over Zoom. “Thats definitely what attracts me to them.”
In 2019, Luo made headlines when, working with a team of fellow MIT researchers, he brought his machine-learning expertise to the decipherment of ancient scripts. He and his colleagues [developed an algorithm](http://people.csail.mit.edu/j_luo/assets/publications/NeuroDecipher.pdf) informed by patterns in how languages change over time. They fed their algorithm words in a lost language and in a known related language; its job was to align words from the lost language with their counterparts in the known language. Crucially, the same algorithm could be applied to different language pairs.
Luo and his colleagues tested their model on two ancient scripts that had already been deciphered: Ugaritic, which is related to Hebrew, and Linear B, which was first discovered among Bronze Ageera ruins on the Greek island of Crete. It took professional and amateur epigraphists — people who study ancient written matter — nearly six decades of mental wrangling to decode Linear B. Officially, 30-year-old British architect Michael Ventris is primarily credited with its decipherment, although the private efforts of classicist Alice Kober lay the [groundwork](https://www.harpercollins.com/products/the-riddle-of-the-labyrinth-margalit-fox) for his breakthrough. Sitting night after night at her dining table in Brooklyn, New York, Kober compiled a makeshift database of Linear B symbols, comprising 180,000 paper slips filed in cigarette boxes, and used those to draw important conclusions about the nature of the script. She died in 1950, two years before Ventris cracked the code. Linear B is now recognized as the earliest form of Greek.  
Luo and his team wanted to see if their machine-learning model could get to the same answer, but faster. The algorithm yielded what was called “remarkable accuracy”: it was able to correctly translate 67.3% of Linear Bs words into their modern-day Greek equivalents. According to Luo, it took between two and three hours to run the algorithm once it had been built, cutting out the days or weeks — or months or years — that it might take to manually test out a theory by translating symbols one by one. The results for Ugaritic showed an improvement on previous attempts at automatic decipherment.
The work raised an intriguing proposition. Could machine learning assist researchers in their quests to crack other, as-yet undeciphered scripts — ones that have so far resisted all attempts at translation? What historical secrets might be unlocked as a result? 
* * *
**British India, 1872-1873.** Alexander Cunningham, an English army engineer turned archeological surveyor, clomped about the ruins of a town in Punjab province that locals called Harappa. On the face of it, there wasnt much to survey: about two decades earlier, engineers working to link the cities of Lahore and Multan had stumbled across the site and used many of the bricks they found — perfectly preserved, fire kilned — as ballast for nearly 100 miles of railway track, blithely unaware they were remnants of one of the worlds oldest civilizations.
![](https://149346090.v2.pressablecdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/Jiaming-11-40x53.jpg)
[Tim Dunk for Rest of World](https://timdunk.com/)
Cunningham didnt know this either — the Indus Valley civilization wouldnt be formally “discovered” until the 1920s — but he knew the site had _some_ historical value. Burrowing through the ruins, he and his team chanced upon stone implements they surmised were used for scraping wood or leather. They gathered shards of ancient pottery and what appeared to be a clay ladle. The most striking discovery, though, was a tiny stone tablet, roughly 1.5 inch by 1.5 inch. “On it is engraved very deeply a bull, without a hump, looking to the right, with two stars under the neck,” Cunningham [wrote](https://archive.org/details/report01cunngoog) in his report. “Above the bull there is an inscription in six characters, which are quite unknown to me. They are certainly not Indian letters; and as the bull which accompanies them is without a hump, I conclude that the seal is foreign to India.”
I have a cheap replica of that first seal, bought years ago from a museum gift shop at one of the Indus Valley sites: the animal on it has a thick neck, a lumpen torso, and a single swooping horn. Some people insist it is a unicorn. The inscription scrawled above it resembles a string of hieroglyphics; one character looks like a fish. In the century and a half since the discovery of the first seal, thousands more have been unearthed: 90% of them along the Indus River in modern-day Pakistan, the remaining in India or as far afield as modern-day Iraq.
We know now that these tablets, described by one excavator as “little masterpieces of controlled realism,” are indigenous to the Indian subcontinent; researchers believe they were probably [used](https://www.bbc.co.uk/ahistoryoftheworld/objects/RRbS0YxzQQa88y_xkV1ADg) to close documents and mark packages of goods, which is why they are referred to as seals. In part because of how the symbols in the inscriptions jostle each other at one end, almost as if the inscriber had run out of space, researchers have concluded that the inscriptions are meant to be read right to left. But we still dont know what they actually _say_.
![](https://149346090.v2.pressablecdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/Stone1-40x28.png)
[The Trustees of the British Museum](https://www.britishmuseum.org/collection/object/A_1912-0507-1)
This isnt from a lack of trying. Scholars often point out that the Indus script, as the collection of some 4,000 excavated inscriptions, comprising between 400 and roughly 700 unique symbols, is known, might be one of the _most_ deciphered scripts in history. More than a hundred attempts have been published since the 1920s. One theory links it to the _Rongorongo_ script of Easter Island, also still undeciphered; another, offered by a German tantric [guru](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egbert_Richter-Ushanas) claiming to have achieved his solution through meditation, links it to the cuneiform script used to write the Sumerian language.
For some groups in South Asia, the quest to decode the Indus script is almost existential. India and Pakistan, increasingly riven by their respective strains of religious nationalism, have markedly different relationships to their shared ancient past. The Pakistani state, deeply wedded to the idea of itself as a Muslim homeland, largely ignores its pre-Islamic heritage; its Indian counterpart, on the other hand, has taken to scouring history to find justification for the claim that India has always been a Hindu nation.
Up until the discovery of Harappa, the earliest Indians were believed to be people who lived between 1500 and 500 B.C. and composed the Vedas, the Sanskrit texts that form the basis of modern-day Hinduism. The discovery of a civilization of people who lived _before_ the Vedic people upended the story of India. Given that it undermines their claims of indigeneity, proponents of Hindutva — the most mainstream strain of Hindu nationalism — balk at the theory of a pre-Vedic civilization, even as evidence for it accumulates across disciplines, including archaeology, genetics, and linguistics.
The smallest of advances in Indus Valley research, therefore, tends to reverberate far beyond the confines of academics. Attempts to prove that the Indus people worshipped Hindu gods and spoke an earlier form of Sanskrit continue unabated. In 2000, one researcher even digitally distorted an image of an Indus seal to make the animal on it look like a horse, which figures prominently in Sanskrit literature.
Politics aside, it is remarkable how little we know about the original people of the Indus Valley, who at one point constituted nearly 10% of the worlds inhabitants. It is especially galling given how much more we know about their contemporaries, such as the people of the Egyptian and Mesopotamian civilizations. Part of the reason for this is the continued elusiveness of the Indus script.
* * *
**Putting machines to** work on the Indus script is trickier than using them to reverse-engineer Linear B. We dont have a great deal of information about the Indus script: most crucially, we dont know what other language it may be related to. As a result, a model like Luos wouldnt work for the Indus script. Thats not to say technology cant help, though. In some ways, computer modeling has already played a crucial role: by showing that the Indus script is a language at all. 
For most of the 20th century, the Indus inscriptions were widely accepted as representations of an undeciphered language. Then, in 2004, a group of Harvard researchers — cultural neurobiologist and comparative historian Steve Farmer, computational theorist Richard Sproat, and philologist Michael Witzel — published a [paper](https://crossasia-journals.ub.uni-heidelberg.de/index.php/ejvs/article/view/620) essentially rubbishing nearly all existing research on the matter. The Indus seals, they claimed, were nothing more than a collection of religious or political symbols — similar to, say, highway signs — and all attempts to decipher them as a language were a waste of time. To underscore their point, Farmer offered a $10,000 reward to anyone who could find an Indus inscription containing at least 50 symbols. 
Most Indologists and other Indus script researchers dismissed these arguments. One group of mathematicians, however, turned to computers to investigate the claims. Ronojoy Adhikari, a professor of statistical physics at the University of Cambridge, was one of them. 
Before Cambridge, Adhikari worked at the Institute of Mathematical Sciences, in Chennai. In 2009, he attended a talk by Iravatham Mahadevan, an Indian civil servant turned epigraphist. Mahadevan, who died in 2018, had already cracked Tamil-Brahmi, another undeciphered script, then turned his attention to the Indus script.
![](https://149346090.v2.pressablecdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/Ronojoy-12-40x54.jpg)
[Tim Dunk for Rest of World](https://timdunk.com/)
Adhikari remembers being fascinated. “Im a person from the sciences; I dont have a humanities background,” he said. “But what I found very attractive in Mahadevans way of looking at the problem was that he had a very quantitative, almost scientific, approach. He was asking, how many times does a particular symbol occur? What does it occur against? What is the context in which it is occurring? And it appeared to me that because it had already been so quantified, it would be easy to translate this into a formal mathematical analysis.”
A few other data scientists in attendance joined forces with Adhikari. They knew they couldnt decipher the script. “So the question we asked was: Can we at least tell whether its conveying any sort of linguistic information?”
Led by computer scientist Rajesh Rao, the researchers [devised a computer program](https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/science.1170391) to see if they could answer this question: Was the Indus script a language? “You can give me any sequence of symbols, I dont care what they are — hieroglyphics, written language, sheet music, computer code — and I will look at them from the point of view of a mathematician,” explained Adhikari. “Meaning, I will simply count how many times one sign occurs next to another.”
> “So the question we asked was: can we at least tell whether its conveying any sort of linguistic information?”
Their program drew on the work of Claude E. Shannon, a mid-century American mathematician, engineer, and decoder of wartime codes, who formulated the notion of information entropy — essentially a mathematical measure of disorder. In linguistic systems, symbols occur with somewhat fixed frequencies. “For instance, I just cant pick up a letter from the alphabet, string it with another letter from the alphabet, and expect to get an English word,” explained Adhikari. In common English, for instance, the letter “q” is nearly always followed by “u.” This semiflexibility is a marker of all linguistic systems. Computer code, on the other hand, is completely rigid: the slightest deviation, and it falls apart.
![](https://149346090.v2.pressablecdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/Stone3-40x19.png)
[The Trustees of the British Museum](https://www.britishmuseum.org/collection/object/A_1947-0416-4)
The researchers fed their program the 4,000 inscriptions that form the entirety of the Indus script. For good measure, they also ran the program on other linguistic samples (English characters and words, Sanskrit, Tamil, Sumer, and Tagalog) and some nonlinguistic scripts (DNA, protein, Beethovens Sonata no. 32, and a computer code called Fortran). The program took about 45 minutes.
“I remember the first time that plot was generated,” recalled Adhikari. On the graph, the curves depicting music, protein, and DNA sequences hovered high, close to the maximum level of entropy, indicating a high level of randomness. Lower down, the known languages are all in a tight cluster. Fortran appears further below.
As for the Indus script, it appears with the other languages, just under Sanskrit and mapping almost cleanly onto Tamil. “It felt fantastic. It really felt very good. Its nice to have a hunch, but to be able to prove it — I remember thinking, Yes, weve really got something here.”  
![](https://149346090.v2.pressablecdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/inlineIndus-40x22.jpg)
* * *
**There is a** big difference, of course, between showing that a script encodes a language and decoding what it says.
Bahata Ansumali Mukhopadhyay met Adhikari over a decade ago. At the time, she was a disenchanted software developer looking for an escape route. When Adhikari, who had begun exploring deep learning approaches to work on the script, was in the market for an assistant, she eagerly volunteered.
Deep learning is the dominant technique in artificial intelligence today. It is primarily a form of pattern recognition: the more data you feed a machine, the better it becomes at interpreting future data. But the large-dataset approach isnt particularly useful when it comes to low-resource (to use Luos term) subjects, such as the Indus script, where data is limited. Mukhopadhyay was quick to realize this. 
“I was supposed to be coding,” she said sheepishly. “But, I spent most of my time reading.”
Mukhopadhyay went down one rabbit hole after another. She parsed Mesopotomian, Akkadian, Sumerian, and Old Persian dictionaries. She taught herself how to read Egyptian hieroglyphics. “I realized just how subtle symbolism can be,” she said. “Like the god Horus, his eye was torn into fragments. Each part is imagined as a fraction — and then from there, the ancient Egyptians created their symbols for fractions.”
> “Here you have to understand the historical symbolism used in India. How will artificial intelligence tackle that?”
Even as she helped build software to aid research on the Indus script, her doubts about the approach were building. “See, if the Indus script were an alpha syllabary \[a writing system split into units of consonants and vowels, as in Urdu/Hindi\], then machine learning and artificial intelligence would have been very suitable,” she explained. But because the inscriptions appear to be pictorial in nature, they posed a greater challenge. “Here you have to understand the historical symbolism used in India. How will artificial intelligence tackle that? How would AI know these symbols represent the fragments of Horus eye?”
For the past few years, Mukhopadhyay has been independently researching the Indus inscriptions, focusing on individual symbols. This involves coming up with a particular theory and then testing it — something computers arent very good at.
![](https://149346090.v2.pressablecdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/Bahata-14-40x53.jpg)
[Tim Dunk for Rest of World](https://timdunk.com/)
Mukhopadhyays theory, for which she made a case in a peer-reviewed [paper](https://www.nature.com/articles/s41599-019-0274-1) in _Nature,_ is that the Indus seals were used for taxation and trade control — a collector might carry one around, for instance, as a sort of license. In a subsequent [paper](https://www.nature.com/articles/s41599-021-00868-w), by examining words used for “elephant” — _piri, piru, pilu —_and “ivory” — _pirus —_ in near Eastern languages at the time of the Indus civilization, she has argued that the Indus people spoke an earlier form of Dravidian, the linguistic ancestor of current languages like Telugu, Tamil, and Kannada. If researchers can successfully identify a contemporary linguistic relation to the Indus script, it could hold the key to deciphering it. As Mukhopadhyay explains her work, her earrings jiggle. They are artsy depictions of elephant heads. “_Pilu_,” she said, smiling.
> “I think there are many aspects of cognition we cannot encode in a convenient framework.”
Current iterations of AI arent designed to deploy the sort of approach adopted by Mukhopadhyay. Adhikari, who is now also less bullish about the prospect of machine decipherment, is skeptical it ever will be. “I think there are many aspects of cognition we cannot encode in a convenient framework,” he said. “I wouldnt hazard a guess, but I dont see it happening in my lifetime. I think we need to understand our brains much better.” Moreover, he added, not all information is quantifiable in a way that computers can understand. “A machine understands one, two, three very well. Two plus two equals four, yes. But …” His gaze drifted beyond his computer screen. “But that this sunset here looks like a beautiful flame — well, it is this sort of abstraction that holds the key to this script.”
* * *
**Regardless of the** approach used, AI is dependent on high-quality data being available in a machine-readable format. This remains a key challenge when it comes to ancient texts, given that they often come to us chipped, eroded, or incomplete in some other form. Scholars can spend decades debating the uniqueness of symbols: Is that a scratch next to a known character, for instance, or a new character altogether? Given how little there is to work with when it comes to long-lost languages, noisy or incomplete data can seriously curtail decipherment efforts.
For the past two decades, Vancouver-based Bryan K. Wells and Berlin-based Andreas Fuls have been quietly digitizing all known Indus seals and symbols. They append contextual information — such as where they were excavated, when, and alongside what artifacts — and add new ones as they are excavated. The [Interactive Corpus of Indus Texts](https://www.user.tu-berlin.de/fuls/Homepage/indus/menueindus.htm) (ICIT) currently contains information about 4,537 inscribed artifacts, 5,509 texts, and 19,616 sign occurrences, featuring a total of 707 unique Indus symbols — a much higher number than the 417 previously identified.
![](https://149346090.v2.pressablecdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/Stone2-40x28.png)
[The Trustees of the British Museum](https://www.britishmuseum.org/collection/image/272276001)
The earlier corpora were compiled by hand. As a result, Wells argues, they were so limited that they risked undermining script research. “You know the old computer saying,” he said recently over Skype, “Garbage in, garbage out.” Nearly 50 researchers around the world currently use the database.
For now, the mysteries of the Indus script continue to elude decipherment. Last year, in a follow-up paper to their work automating the decoding of Ugaritic and Linear B, Luo and his team made a small but crucial advance: an algorithm aimed at identifying possible related languages of undeciphered writing systems. Potentially, this could help address the problem of deciphering scripts that dont yet have a known language they can be compared against. When Luo and his team tested their model on the Iberian language, which has historically been linked to Basque, their findings suggested the two languages were not in fact close enough to be related — a conclusion that corroborated recent scholarship on the matter. 
But while Iberian, said Luo, has at least 80 unique symbols, the Indus script has at least 400, making it exponentially more challenging. Still, theoretically speaking, modern machines can handle this level of computation. Could it be possible simply to “brute force” a problem like the Indus script — to analyze it against all contemporary South Asian languages and see which emerges as its closest linguistic relation? “Thats a good thought,” Luo said, after pausing to think. “If I had time, I would definitely try that.”
Luo is quick to point out that he doesnt expect any decipherment of lost languages to be fully automated. “My thinking is: Let the system propose a list of candidates and let the experts see, Okay, maybe this theory is more correct than the other,” he said. “It definitely reduces the effort and the number of hours that experts have to expend.”
Not everyone is willing to entertain help from machines. Before settling on Iberian, Luo and his colleagues had considered tackling Etruscan, an undeciphered script from pre-Roman Italy. “One of our co-authors emailed a bunch of professors working in this field,” recalled Luo, chuckling. One of them wrote back, shooing them away. “He replied in quite angry tones, _machines can never compete with humans.”_

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# Ancient Indian texts reveal the liberating power of metaphysics
**Some of the worlds earliest writings** suggest an unexpected goal for ambitious minds. Nearly 3,000 years ago, the ancient Indian authors of certain Upanishads (special teachings) exhorted readers to find a fabled knowledge. When one knows that which is woven upon the Whole he becomes the Whole. He thinks of what has not been thought of before, and perceives what has not been perceived before. Thus, comprehending the widest reaches, he is able to conquer the whole universe.
To modern ears, these promises sound like esoteric mysticism, and it is true that the Sanskrit writings that have reached us from India in the 1st millennium BCE were full of rituals to harness the universe, hymns to the whole, and praises of the divine as all of this. The cosmos was an object of wonder that fascinated Indian thinkers.
But one group of thinkers took a uniquely rational approach, focusing on _knowledge_ of the whole and how it affects us psychologically. Far from being supernatural, this knowledge came from rigorous extrapolation to universal features of the cosmos using rational generalisation based on patterns in the visible world. In short, _philosophy _ metaphysical truths based on inference was the key to humanitys highest possibility and its greatest happiness.
Why this high opinion of metaphysics surely one of civilisations most impractical pursuits?
Early Indians had pleaded with the gods for rain and cattle, sons and warriors, health and wealth; we still have their words in the Vedas, some of the worlds oldest texts. Theirs were precisely the prayers we would expect of any early community struggling to survive. But by around 600 BCE, the ability to perform rituals was no longer enough to win favour at the royal courts of the Gangetic Plain. Atheists, gnostics and sceptics were increasingly vocal in the kingdoms further east. Experts in the old Vedic ritual boasted skills in linguistics, geometry, anatomy, astronomy and poetry, and they had been observing the forces of nature for centuries but to what end? How could they earn their keep in the new climate?
The answer lay in the publics growing worry about existential problems. Mortal life seemed little more than a flame struck over the open ocean at night; our minds shine but a brief, faint spotlight on the immensity of the world before sputtering into darkness again.
**As their frustration grew, Indias** ancient inhabitants became obsessed with a new goal: changing our _minds_ so as to alter the very _nature_ of life and improve it from the bottom up. Mental disciplines became all the rage: outsider ascetics developed an arduous new concentration meant to purify the mind into a single, undistracted stream of consciousness… and yoga was born. A young prince named [Siddhartha Gautama](https://aeon.co/essays/was-the-buddha-an-awakened-prince-or-a-humble-itinerant) gave up his inheritance and taught a way to deconstruct the ego and its desires, becoming the Buddha.
Places like Athens and Alexandria, and the Silk Road cities of India and China, were idea-markets peddling possible ways to transform oneself
Even the world of ideas is mostly a mystery: most of lifes potential experiences, stories and ideas pass us by. Ancient Indians were just getting a glimpse of this as they discovered new ways of thinking along the trade routes west to Persia and Greece, or northeast over the Himalayas into China. Perhaps this hunger to know what we will never see with our own eyes is what drives the modern fascination with period dramas and science fiction. Our vast imaginations pull in the opposite direction from our small, frail bodies.
This creates a tension at the heart of humanity. Mostly, we bury our minds in urgent tasks and expend our excess energy in entertainment. Craving more, we create ever-new stories, envisioning experiences we might have had. But could not all perspectives be gathered into an overarching truth? And could we not realign ourselves with the global not the local, the eternal things not the mortal ones? These ancient Indian authors encouraged us to lead life on a larger scale.
Breaking out of our mortal cage was a passion for many philosophers of the axial age (_c_800-200 BCE). They lived in an era of expanded travel and crosscultural encounter, and had just begun to realise how wide a world was really out there. Places like Athens and Alexandria, and the Silk Road cities of India and China, were idea-markets peddling possible ways to transform oneself_._ Techniques for becoming immortal were in high demand. On the slopes of the Himalayas, Taoist alchemists offered to transmute mortal men into divine beings, while in the temples of Alexandria followers of Isis hoped her mysteries would help them cheat death at least for a while. If immortality was popular, magic was a close competitor: who would not want to fly with the gods, like the mysterious Késins of ancient India and the Bodhisattvas of Tibet? Or control minds (a useful skill, mastered by Tantric wizards of South and Southeast Asia), or simply make handsome young men fall in love with you like the wise and witty Socrates?
Other techniques were less spectacular, but more psychologically astute. Both the [Buddhists](https://aeon.co/videos/what-zen-buddhist-riddles-reveal-about-knowledge-and-the-unknowable) and the [Stoics](https://aeon.co/videos/how-the-stoic-embrace-of-death-can-help-us-get-a-grip-on-life) could teach you to curb your instincts and meet life with exquisite equanimity, untouched by the vicissitudes of tragedy or joy. Or if those options didnt appeal, one could become a god, slip through the door of the sun, or snuff oneself out of existence a particularly extravagant form of existential suicide [favoured](https://aeon.co/essays/nirvana-can-seem-an-exotic-metaphysical-idea-until-you-look-closer) by certain Buddhists. These and many more technologies of the self, as the philosopher-historian [Michel Foucault](https://aeon.co/essays/why-foucaults-work-on-power-is-more-important-than-ever) put it in 1982, offered a panacea for lifes fundamental _smallness_.
They believed that reasoned speculation on the fabric of the world has the power to change our lives
But in the ancient Indian Upanishads, we see one of historys first distinctly _philosophical_ attempts to solve the problem of human finitude. Vedantas metaphysical speculations worked as a kind of therapy, because they tried to position human life in fruitful relation to the whole of things. As individuals, our days are dogged by suffering, frustrated desire and death, and all we love is lost in the end. But just as Ecclesiastes observed generations come and generations go, but the earth remains forever, so the Indian philosophers tried to realign themselves with reality itself. What if life didnt have to be so small? What if we could expand the small flame of consciousness into a bonfire, and that fire into a sun with rays that reach across the universe and down to its foundations?
**The oldest prayers of Hindu culture** included questions of a uniquely philosophical nature. One poem from around 800 BCE lamented: What thing I am, I know not clearly, and another demanded to know:
> Why were we born? By what do we live? On what are we established? Governed by what… do we live…?
The rise of systematic philosophy offered a solution. Those who used _induction_ (the process of generalising new information and abstract principles from the visible world) and _deduction_ (discovering unseen truths hidden within our existing knowledge) came to be seen as _rishis_ or seers, with a unique power to look into the heart of reality. The Mundaka Upanishad tells us that the mind is an arrow able to send thought deep into the imperishable nature of reality Strike it! the author says.
But this was not mysticism per se: they believed that reasoned speculation on the fabric of the world has the power to change our lives. So instead of calling for the gods, one Vedic seer asked:
> What was the forest, what was that wood from which heaven and earth were formed? Let the wise seek with their intelligence that place in which all beings are carried.
The wise did just that. One story tells of how the learned man Uddalaka Aruni advised his son to look behind the names and forms of the empirical world, ignoring the misleading word handles we give individual things. If we can identify the features they all share, then we start to see the underlying fabrics and forces that span time and space. This power to speculate eventually earned a name: the _Samkhya Karaka_, a philosophical text composed _c_350 CE, called it _anumana_ or inference. Learning to see the world with _anumana_ meant always seeing the unchanging substrate of reality behind its changing identities, and noticing the way that our own existence is taking ever new forms, even as we experience it. The _Samkhya Karaka_s particularly daring Satkarya theory of causation taught that all things, past and present, _always exist_ in a subtle potential form as a power of the material that constitutes it. The present moment is just a spotlight that shines on one small corner at a time but metaphysics reveals all of reality in its richness.
Humans didnt need a greater _quantity_ of life. What we really crave is elevation to a higher _quality_ of existence
More than that, it was believed that whatever fills our minds large ideas or small that is what _we are._ This meant that philosophy was also a way of curating ones own mind. So one Upanishad assures us that: Whatever world a man ponders with his mind … that very world he wins. When we understand the whole world, it _becomes_ part of us, so that we are no longer isolated.
**Heroes enjoying this exalted state** turn up from time to time in Indian literature. The tale of the liberated sage Shuka is told in the _Mahabharata_. Born enlightened, once he has completed his education, he flies through the cosmos exploring the reaches of time and space. He might put one in mind of those European Renaissance antiheroes of knowledge: Faust and Prospero. But, unlike them, Shuka is unimpeded by the assumption that too much knowledge is a dangerous thing. The idea of a mind stretched to the widest reaches of reality may also remind philosophers of [Baruch Spinoza](https://aeon.co/essays/even-the-anthropocene-is-nature-at-work-transforming-itself)s concept of an intellectual love of the cosmos, unique to sentient beings, in which the universe itself achieves a kind of completion.
In India, the idea of a world-spanning mind was forged in the fire of competition from some of the worlds most radical sceptics, early Buddhists. Their no-self doctrine said that we are here today and gone tomorrow; in fact, we are not even really here today we are just a cluster of changing elements. But the Hindu schools disagreed, pointing to the minds extraordinary capacity to outreach the spatiotemporal bubble in which each person resides. I might live in 2022 in Oxford, but I can share the experiences of persons in Thailand or the US, and imagine different lives I might have lived. With the help of scientists and philosophers, I understand levels of the cosmos that lie beyond the senses, and can access realities, values or ideas that cannot be destroyed with any mere physical body.
In the modern world, we are liable to forget all this. Bodies are real and minds are insubstantial. Ideas seem trivial barely there. But if, as physics tells us, reality is made as much of waves, patterns and clusters, energy, emergent systems and movement, as of blank blocks of matter, then there is no reason to see ideas as less real than physical things. The basic stuff of reality generates atoms, cells, life systems. From these come consciousness, sensations, perceptions, analyses and responses. And from these emerge emotions, concepts, projects, goals, ideals, stories and _meaning_ in all that the word implies. The higher levels of reality are not less real they are just _emergent_.
What is interesting is where this leaves humans, we curious confections of matter-constrained consciousness. We can do something extraordinary: our mental parts can climb out of the window of the body, and up into the higher levels of reality. There we have access to an unconstrained realm of ideas, meanings and values (as Plato agreed). But even more than that, each of us is an undepleting fount of higher realities for as long as we live. Thus, _becoming the world_ means living from the perspective of reality and knowingly contributing to it in all we do. In the phrase of the existentialist Martin Heidegger, we become the Shepherds of Being.
This is not a goal that promises pleasure or an escape from death. The Indians and the Greeks both believed in reincarnation, so for them humans didnt need a greater _quantity_ of life. What we really crave is elevation to a higher _quality_ of existence. Becoming the world is a kind of immortality that every philosopher, every astrophysicist, and every daydreamer shares in some measure. Not unlike Platos path into the timeless world of pure concepts, the ancient Indian discovery of metaphysics charted a way for aspiring minds to spring the lock of space and time and fly free.

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# Are Greeting Card Messages Getting Longer? A Very Serious Investigation
The best greeting card Carla Lyles ever received was a homemade Valentines Day card made by her six-year-old son Kaleb, in which he asked her to [be his Valentine](https://www.refinery29.com/en-gb/2021/02/10306920/i-love-valentines-day). “He drew hearts all over it and it read, Youre the best mommy in the world,' says the Houston, TX native and founder of the [Carla Sue](https://www.carlasuehouston.com/) card company, choking up a bit at the memory. 
I have a card that makes me misty-eyed too: a birthday card my dad wrote to me in 2019, in which he called me “a woman of integrity” — an earnest and uncharacteristically formal statement which melted down my iron heart into a shimmering puddle of sap when I first read it, and every subsequent time Ive dug it out of my mementos box since then. His is my favorite, but that coffer is full of greeting cards I treasure — all of which contain at least a few lines of thoughtful, handwritten text.
This brings me to an extremely specific and somewhat idiosyncratic “champagne problem” Ive been complaining about for years: that although most people love cards for the personalized messages inside, many greeting cards these days have far too much pre-written text or design — never seeming to leave quite enough space for the kind of specific note I wanted to write (and read). More and more, Ive been feeling like every card I pull from the shelves has so much sappy text or… some giant pop-up poodle screaming out at me? This leaves me with little space to pour out my heart and [express my feelings](https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/gratitude-journal-prompt-ideas).
And guys, I have _a lot_ of feelings. As a Cancer whos constantly “brimming with big emotions,” according to my therapist, I need space to write out my thoughts about my favorite people every now and then — to reflect on our memories together, and to get a little gushy. I want this from the notes I receive too. Not necessarily dossiers of affection, but at least a few meaningful sentences. And Ive always assumed that Im not alone in this. Turns out, Im not. When I said I was writing this story, one of my coworkers joked, “Someone gave me a birthday card this year and only signed it at the bottom, and I almost cried.”
And yet, a recent browse of [the Valentines Day cards](https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/funny-valentines-day-cards) at my local Walgreens (and many previous trips to the pharmacy looking for last-minute birthday and holiday cards over the past few years) revealed what seems to me to be a bizarre trend: cards with no room to actually write a personal message. There were cards with paragraph upon paragraph of pre-written text. In one American Greetings card, they couldnt fit everything they wanted to say on the standard two-page card, so they added an additional inside flap. “In case youre wondering, I notice. I notice what a difference you make in my life,” another note said. Ugh. 
Verna Starling, the founder and creator of [Honest AF Cards](https://www.etsy.com/shop/honestafcards/) in Houston, TX, feels the same way. “Ninety percent of the reason I started my company was because Im not a long-winded, cheesy person,” she says. “Id see cards at the store that had so much text, and I thought, Dear God, I would say maybe one sentence of this in real life. I could not find any cards that sounded like my voice.” 
The hyper-specific, lengthy messages also brought me back to a scene in the film _[500 Days of Summer](https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/500-days-of-summer-revisited-manic-pixie-dream-girl)_, in which Joseph Gordon-Levitt loses it at a meeting at the greeting card company where he works after a bad breakup. “I think we do a bad thing here,” he tells a boardroom of his card-creating colleagues. “People should be able to say how they feel. How they really feel. Not some words that some strangers put in their mouths. Words like love that dont mean anything… Lets level with America. At least let them speak for themselves.” Even though I find his character in this movie insufferable, I couldnt have agreed more with Gordon-Levitt on this point. Greeting card companies: Stop speaking for me! 
Of course, I wondered if I was being a curmudgeon about an industry that was doing its best to bring people together, in an era where loneliness is standard, connection is fraught, and we're all glued to our phones playing Wordle. Really, were cards the problem — or was I? 
Americans spend around $7 to $8 billion purchasing about 6.5 billion greeting cards every year, according to the [Greeting Card Association](https://3a0kd21pd7d82l06sa23dmst-wpengine.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/Greeting-Card-Facts-2020-v4-2020-0914.pdf). That sounds like a lot, but actually, annual growth in the greeting card industry shrank by nearly 4% between 2016 and 2021, according to a recent report from the [market-research firm IBISWorld](https://www.ibisworld.com/united-states/market-research-reports/greeting-cards-other-publishing-industry/). With people strapped for cash due to the pandemic, and with cheap e-cards and or even free text messages being increasingly seen as acceptable alternatives to cards (especially among younger generations), the industry has taken a hit.  
Card companies, therefore, are trying to adapt and carve out or hold onto their foothold in a shrinking market. Big companies like Hallmark even have dedicated trend teams that research what consumers want and find ways to deliver. For instance, Sarah Tobaben, Hallmarks writing studio and editorial services director, says the company has tried to make their messages “more casual and conversational” but “less fussy and formal” these days to appeal to the modern consumer. Could that play a role in what I perceive to be more rambling missives? 
For what its worth, the folks at Hallmark tell me that my perception that the text inside cards is getting longer is in my head, and "that isnt always the case." A Hallmark spokesperson said: "There is no trend data showing more or less text in cards. The writers focus less on the number of words and more on the authenticity of those words."
But I remain unconvinced. In fact, theres a track record of greeting card messages getting longer during difficult times. During the 2008 recession, _Business Insider_ reported on [the state of the greeting card industry](https://www.businessinsider.com/2008/12/recession-era-holiday-cards-less-glitter-longer-messages): “The cards themselves are becoming more somber. Which means less glitter (so inappropriate and presumably expensive) and longer messages filled with hope for the new year,” wrote journalist Hilary Lewis. “The text is deliberately long-winded. Before, cards had shorter, snappier messages.” 
Rochelle Lulow, then the creative director of American Greetings' editorial studio, told Lewis: "Now people want longer copy… During difficult times, we see people wanting to connect on a deeper, emotional level that goes above and beyond."
Whether the pandemic, specifically, is having a similar effect on card message length is unclear. American Greetings didnt respond to Refinery29s request for comment on the topic, and a Hallmark spokesperson only said: "For many people, during the pandemic, greeting cards were the next best thing to being present in person... Cards that [referenced hugs](https://www.refinery29.com/en-gb/2020/06/9850662/hugging-benefits-social-distancing) became very popular. We also saw an uptick during \[the pandemic\] of 'just because' and 'keep in touch' cards. People also used cards to thank teachers, caregivers, and other people who make their lives better and theyre keeping up the habit."
It's true that the pandemic has seemed to create a stronger desire for connection and authenticity, which trickles down to the card industry. “Were not holding back as much now,” says Lauren Taylor, who owns the greeting card company [Instead of Ashes](https://www.insteadofashes.com/) in Atlanta, GA, of the pandemic. “Being separated made us miss people, and weve realized how important it is to say how you feel. We know now more than ever that life is short.”
But the question remains: Does a lengthy greeting card message create the same sense of connection as a hand-written message?
While Taylor says she always leaves plenty of space in her cards for folks to write down their own thoughts and feelings, my reporting revealed that some people are happy to let a pre-printed card do more of the emotional work. “Not everybody feels comfortable expressing themselves through written word, so its cool that there are creative people and companies out there who give them that little bit of extra help with the wording,” says Giuliana LaMantia, card-maker and founder of [Serif & Spice](https://www.etsy.com/shop/SerifandSpice) (who, for what its worth, says that her cards are blank so that people can share their own creative messages). “At the end of the day, I see sending a card as an act. Youre choosing the card, licking the stamp, and putting it in the mail. Even if you dont write a message inside, it shows that youre thinking of them and went out of your way to get it to them.” 
Similarly, when asked about whether cards with too much text were putting "words in people's mouths," the Hallmark spokesperson said, "Some people look to Hallmark for the words they are trying to express, others are looking for a blank slate to express their own. Whether the card has many words or only a few, they are helping the consumer say what they would like."
And even people who dont write their own messages inside cards want to feel like the pre-printed message represents them, says Carlos Llanso, a two-time president of the Greeting Card Association and the CEO of [Legacy Publishing Group](https://www.shoplegacy.com/). When shopping, consumers first pick up a card because of the cover, but the message — or lack of one — is just as important.
Because of that, card companies strive to create a variety of tones, from tongue-in-cheek to sincere. “One \[card\] writer describes herself as a professional empath who feels peoples feelings and then finds and crafts the words to help them connect authentically,” as Tobaben describes it. For some, the gushy card that person creates would be perfect. Meanwhile, Id probably roll my eyes upon reading it; I like a simple or funny card to offset the soppy, tenderhearted shit I write to my friends and lovers. 
While you may not always find them in the card aisle of your local pharmacy, there are plenty of independent card-makers, creating products for just about anyone. The recent NY Now conference in New York City has a huge stationery selection, where I saw everything from simple yet elegant letterpress notes to a whimsical, incredibly unique card featuring a cow that looked like Frida Kahlo ([Frida Cowlo](https://shop.nanustudio.co/products/frida-cowlo)). I saw cards that were charming, plain, effusive, and everything in between. Some were sugary sweet and others were funny and even borderline raunchy.
Starling, the Honest AF Cards creator, notes the tone of her own cards isnt for everyone: The messages on the front flap are full of humor and wit, sometimes even crossing a line into risqué. “I have a card that says Im glad your mom didnt swallow you,’” she says. “Thats not a card you can give to just anyone, but the one person you _can_ give it to will really appreciate it. Thats one thing that sets me apart — Im not afraid to put it on a card, no matter what it is.”
The sheer scope I saw at the conference and while talking to makers like Starling for this story made me realize that my quest to find a blank card was probably a lot more attainable than I'd led myself to believe.
More independent card companies tend to offer blank cards, possibly because it's cheaper but also because theyre selling to a niche community — the types who frequent Etsy or smaller bookshops (and who may be wordier), says Katie Hunt, a card industry expert and the founder of [Proof to Product](https://www.prooftoproduct.com/), a community of business owners, including card and stationery makers. These smaller businesses are also often run by creatives who want to "leave space" for people to express themselves, she adds. Meanwhile, the bigger companies such as Hallmark and American Greetings are often appealing to a wider range of consumers — including people who are grabbing a card on the way to their [Valentines Day date](https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/valentines-day-date-ideas-for-couples), perhaps, and who consider it a plus that all they have to do is sign their name.
Even so, representation is an often-overlooked problem when it comes to the greeting card industry on the whole, points out Starling. The industry is overwhelmingly white, and it's common to feel underrepresented as a Black person in it, she says. “We need more voices — there are more stories to be told with cards, because your voice comes from your experience,” Starling says. It might be easier for more folks to find cards on the shelves that speak to them if a more diverse group of makers was involved with creating them, she adds.
Starling is also a strong believer in keeping the insides of her cards blank. “Its important to me… because I remember needing room to write and having to work around a branding symbol on the back of a card,” she says. “I dont want people to have that experience. They still need to have their voice, even if its my voice on the front of the card. Not allowing them that space is taking away their voice.” 
Similar to how Starling is creating something different with her humorous cards, Jessica Walker also strives to fill a gap within the greeting card industry with her card and gift company [Five Dot Post](https://www.fivedotpost.com/). When her husband was diagnosed with cancer in 2017, she found many of the sympathy cards from bigger companies overly sincere or dire. She created Five Dot Post based on the idea that laughter is the best medicine. Walkers line of cancer and chemo cards include quips like “Big Survivor Energy” and “Im sorry your boobs are being the worst.” 
She hopes her designs help people who want to reach out, but dont know how. “Sometimes people are so afraid of saying the wrong thing, that they dont reach out at all,” Walker says. “But the only thing I discourage in that situation is _not_ reaching out." Being able to find the right card — one that feels truly authentic to the giver and the recipient — might help encourage people to go ahead and connect, whether they write a long message inside or keep it brief and to the point.
In the end, my journey into the wild world of cards made me feel justified in my bias that the best cards leave room for folks to write their own messages. But I also came to at least understand, if not appreciate, the advantages and appeal of cards with pre-written messages inside, and that although one person might be into words, another might be charmed by the visuals (perhaps falling in love with fun graphics like the ones on the "Frida Cowlo" card became obsessed with from [NANU studio](https://shop.nanustudio.co/), for example). As LaMantia put it, if [your love language](https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/what-are-5-love-languages-meaning) is “acts of service,” a card is a thoughtful, kind act, no matter how much or how little you write inside.
Although I still have my _feelings_ about overly wordy cards, I now understand the need for having an option for everyone. While Ill probably always feel endeared by hand-written messages, in a world where we spend much of our days [connecting via screen](https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2020/09/10020972/screen-time-coronavirus), I figure any form of physical connection — cheesy or not — is a plus. A card is a signal of greater connection, whether you turn it into a novella like me, or just write your name at the bottom.

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Date: 2022-02-13
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# Are Today's Portraitists Better Than the Old Masters? — Evolve Artist
Who's better, today's portraitists or the Old Masters?
Master portraitist Kevin Murphy honors the Old Masters and applauds the contemporary realistic portrait painters and artists of the 21st Century who have taken on the legacy that the old masters left behind.
[![Aristotle with a Bust of Homer by Rembrandt, one of the old masters of portrait art.](https://evolveartist.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/1-Rembrandt-1.png "Rembrandt - Aristotle with a Bust of Homer")](https://www.metmuseum.org/art/collection/search/437394)
_Aristotle with a Bust of Homer_ by Rembrandt, is one of the revered old masters of portrait art.
[![The Young Shepherdess by The Young Shepherdess - William-Adolphe Bougereau, painted in 1855.](https://evolveartist.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/2-The_young_shepherdess_by_William-Adolphe_Bouguereau-scaled.jpg "The Young Shepherdess - William-Adolphe Bougereau")](https://www.williambouguereau.org/young-shepherdess/)
The Young Shepherdess by The Young Shepherdess - William-Adolphe Bougereau, painted in 1855.
[![Madame X by the renown portraitist John Singer Sargent.](https://evolveartist.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/3-Sargent-7-scaled.jpg "Madame X (Madame Pierre Gautreau) - John Singer Sargent")](https://www.metmuseum.org/art/collection/search/12127)
_Madame X_ by the renown portraitist John Singer Sargent.
[![Ketsia in Profile by contemporary portraitist Daniel Sprick.](https://evolveartist.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/4-Daniel-Sprick-1.jpeg "Ketsia in Profile - Daniel Sprick")](https://artofdarkness.co/post/138844658060/daniel-sprick-ketsia-in-profile)
_Ketsia in Profile_ by contemporary portraitist Daniel Sprick.
We asked Master Portraitist and Evolve Founder Kevin Murphy, “Who is your favorite portrait artist and why?” Heres what he had to say:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I don't have a favorite. There are so many great portrait painters out there.  And not just old masters, but even today.
I would make the assertion that the portrait painters of today are better than the old masters. They may not agree. Because we're not inventing it." 
![Self Portrait by Nelson Shanks.](https://evolveartist.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/6-Nelson-Shanks-Self-Portrait.jpeg "Nelson Shanks Self Portrait")
_Self Portrait_ by Nelson Shanks.
[![Beauties on Promenade by Chen Yifei](https://evolveartist.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/7-Chen-Yifei-Beauties-on-Promenade-scaled.jpeg "Chen Yifei - Beauties on Promenade")](https://www.mutualart.com/Artwork/Beauties-on-Promenade/072D55AA1A7CC74E)
_Beauties on Promenade_ by Chen Yifei.
![A portrait of the Grand Master Sardone by Evolve Artist Founder and master portraitist Kevin Murphy.](https://evolveartist.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/8-GM-Sardone-Details.png "Grand Master Sardone - Kevin Murphy")
A portrait of the Grand Master Sardone by Evolve Artist Founder and master portraitist Kevin Murphy
"The old masters did all the hard work and heavy lifting. We stand on their shoulders. But the level of skill and the level to which this craft has been elevated by the current generation is just dizzying. And to be part of that crowd is humbling."
[![A painting from Steven Assael's workshop.](https://evolveartist.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/9-Steven-Assael-workshop-painting--scaled.jpeg "Steven Assael - Workshop Painting")](https://www.stevenassael.com/workshop-info)
A painting from Steven Assael's workshop.
[![Prove It by Rick Berry.](https://evolveartist.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/10-Rick-Berry-Prove-It.jpeg "Prove It - Rick Berry")](https://rickberrystudio.com/gallery/2012-2016/)
_Prove It_ by Rick Berry.
[![From the Depths by Adam Miller.](https://evolveartist.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/11-Adam-Miller-From-the-Depths.jpeg "Adam Miller - From the Depths")](https://www.copronason.com/adamm/pages/x_From%20the%20Depths%2068x422.html)
_From the Depths_ by Adam Miller.
[![Pegasus Befriends the Muses by Julie Bell.](https://evolveartist.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/12-Julie-Bell-Pegasus-Befriends-the-Muses-by-Julie-Bell.jpeg "Pegasus Befriends the Muses by Julie Bell")](https://www.artrenewal.org/14thARCSalon/Artwork/ByCategory/33369)
_Pegasus Befriends the Muses_ by Julie Bell.
[![Star Wars The Last Jedi by Paul Shipper. ](https://evolveartist.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/13-Paul-Shipper-The-Last-Jedi.jpg "Paul Shipper - The Last Jedi")](https://paulshipperstudio.com/star-wars-the-last-jedi/)
_Star Wars The Last Jedi_ by Paul Shipper.
"I think that there are so many great artists, and they're not even necessarily realists.  They're in all genres including science fiction artists or doing book covers and movie posters. And they look real. They don't even look like photographs. They look absolutely real." 
[![Naomi Alexander by Rupert Alexander.](https://evolveartist.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/14-Rupert-Alexander-1.jpeg "Rupert Alexander - Naomi Alexander")](https://www.rupertalexander.com/gallery/)
_Naomi Alexander_ by Rupert Alexander.
[![Laura in Black by Joshua La Rock.](https://evolveartist.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/15-Joshua-La-Rock-LauraInBlack-scaled.jpeg "Joshua La Rock - Laura In Black")](https://www.npg.org.uk/whatson/bp2016/exhibition/exhibitors-entries/laura-in-black.php)
_Laura in Black_ by Joshua La Rock.
[![Audrey by David Kassan.](https://evolveartist.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/16-David-Kassan.jpeg "David Kassan - Audrey")](https://www.davidkassan.com/paint)
_Audrey_ by David Kassan.
[![Autumn Sky by Jeremy Lipking](https://evolveartist.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/17-Jeremy-Lipking-Autumn-Sky.jpeg "Jeremy Lipking - Autumn Sky")](https://www.lipking.com/workszoom/2606071/autumn-sky)
_Autumn Sky_ by Jeremy Lipking.
[![Bubble by Dorian Vallejo](https://evolveartist.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/18-Dorian-Vallejo-2.jpeg "18 Dorian Vallejo 2")](https://dorianvallejo.com/shop-all/bubble-print)
_Bubble_ by Dorian Vallejo.
"In every corner of this industry, any place where pros are painting faces, the quality of the work is just unbelievable. Yes, we have technology on our side, but the people who are going back and tackling this stuff in a traditional way, they've elevated this craft to a whole new level." 
[![Weary Memory by Alex Venezia](https://evolveartist.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/19-Alex-Venezia-Weary-Memory.jpg "Alex Venezia - Weary Memory")](https://www.alexvenezia.com/selected-works/2018/10/25/weary-memory-19x30in-oil-on-panel)
_Weary Memory_ by Alex Venezia.
[![Waves by Serge Marshennikov.](https://evolveartist.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/Serge-Marshennikov-Waves-scaled.jpg "Serge Marshennikov - Waves")](https://www.artsy.net/artwork/serge-marshennikov-waves-1)
_Waves_ by Serge Marshennikov.
[![Narcissus by Roberto Ferri.](https://evolveartist.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/21-Roberto-Ferri-Narcissus.jpeg "Roberto Ferri - Narcissus")](https://arthive.com/es/artists/83574~Roberto_ferri/works/582398~Narciso)
Narcissus by Roberto Ferri.
**Which artists have inspired you to paint like the great masters?**
Conclusion
----------
Theres your master's take on portrait artists new and old. This is the last post from our Master's Guide to Painting Better Portraits series. Read the previous posts in the series at these links below:
Master's Guide #1: [Where to Start a Portrait](https://evolveartist.com/blog/masters-guide-where-to-start-a-portrait/)
Master's Guide #2: [Simplicity in Portrait Painting](https://evolveartist.com/blog/how-to-simplify-portrait-painting/)
Master's Guide #3: [How to Build Confidence in Portrait Painting](https://evolveartist.com/blog/how-to-build-confidence-in-portrait-painting/)
Master's Guide #4: [How to Capture the Likeness of a Face](https://evolveartist.com/blog/how-to-capture-the-likeness-of-a-face/)
Master's Guide #5: [The Quickest Way to Improve Your Portrait Painting Skills](https://evolveartist.com/blog/improve-your-portrait-painting-skills/)
Master's Guide #6: [How to Price Portrait Paintings](https://evolveartist.com/blog/how-to-price-portrait-paintings/)
Master's Guide #7: [How to Sell Your Portraits](https://evolveartist.com/blog/how-to-sell-your-portraits-and-get-commissions/)
If you found this post insightful and you want to get more content like this, then check us out on [YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/c/evolveartist) and follow us on [Instagram](http://www.instagram.com/evolveartist). 
Happy painting!

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Date: 2022-05-08
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# Are the Next Global Tennis Stars Among These Tweens?
![A young player prepares to serve during an IMG Future Stars tournament at the posh Tatoi Club, north of Athens. The event is for boys and girls ages 12 and under.](https://static01.nyt.com/images/2022/05/01/sports/01tennis-img-kids7/01tennis-img-kids7-articleLarge.jpg?quality=75&auto=webp&disable=upscale)
Credit...Myrto Papadopoulos for The New York Times
The search for elite players is so competitive that IMG, the agency that once ruled tennis, is cultivating preteens to find the next prodigy, giving them access to representatives from the pro tours and Nike.
A young player prepares to serve during an IMG Future Stars tournament at the posh Tatoi Club, north of Athens. The event is for boys and girls ages 12 and under.Credit...Myrto Papadopoulos for The New York Times
- May 1, 2022
ACHARNES, Greece — Behold Dominik Defoe. Ten years old and barely taller than the net. Golden brown shoulder-length curls bouncing in the air as he chases and crushes tennis balls, which he does better than just about any kid his age.
Defoe loves to fiddle with the GPS in his mothers car, so in the morning when they head to school, the phone directs them to Roland Garros, site of the French Open. He does it so often that his mother knows Roland Garros is 2 hours 47 minutes away from their home in Belgium.
Defoe was nearly in tears earlier this year when he received one of the 48 invitations from IMG, the sports and entertainment conglomerate, to attend the first Future Stars Invitational Tournament at the posh Tatoi Club in the northern suburbs of Athens. The event, for boys and girls aged 12 and under, is both a tournament and a weeklong education in the life that might await Defoe and his rarefied peers, complete with seminars led by executives at Nike and the mens and womens pro tours, the ATP and the WTA.
The race to find the sports next stars has come to this: With eight-figure fortunes potentially at stake, agents and scouts are evaluating and cultivating players even younger than 10 who are just getting started in serious competition. Future Stars is the newest and most extravagant recruitment effort for IMG, the company that essentially invented the sports representation business and dominated tennis for years.
“Nobody wants to have a tournament for 11- and 12-year-olds,” said Max Eisenbud, who leads the companys tennis division. “Id rather wait, but the competition forced us into this situation.”
For years, IMGs agents collected future stars in two ways: Tweens and young teens (Maria Sharapova for example) either showed up at its academy in Bradenton, Fla., once the premier training ground in the sport, looking for one of the plentiful scholarships; or the agents showed up in Tarbes, France, for Les Petit As, the worlds premier tournament for players younger than 14. There, they often had something close to the pick of the litter.
Image
![Max Eisenbud, onetime agent to Maria Sharapova and today a senior vice president of IMG Tennis, poses for a portrait on an indoor court at the Tatoi Club.](https://static01.nyt.com/images/2022/05/01/sports/01tennis-img-kids5/01tennis-img-kids5-articleLarge.jpg?quality=75&auto=webp&disable=upscale)
Credit...Myrto Papadopoulos for The New York Times
During the past decade though, rival academies opened across Europe and IMGs academy focused more on profiting from families paying tuition rather than making long-shot bets on teenagers. Also, in recent years, when Eisenbud and his colleagues made their annual trips to Les Petit As, they found that nearly all the most promising players had already signed contracts with other management companies, many of them well-funded boutique operations that were offering generous financial guarantees, sometimes stretching well beyond covering the roughly $50,000 annual cost for coaching and travel on the junior circuit.
And so, in a sign of cutthroat times in tennis, IMG is aiming younger, even if prospecting preteen talent can be nearly impossible and highly fraught, risking increasing the pressure on children who already put plenty on themselves and, in some cases, carry the financial responsibilities for their struggling families.
If stars like Naomi Osaka and Bianca Andreescu, Grand Slam tournament champions who are in their 20s, have had to take breaks from tennis to care for their mental health, its not a stretch to consider the risks of raising expectations so explicitly for prepubescent children. During a talk for the girls on how to stay physically and mentally healthy, Saga Shermis, an athlete development specialist with the WTA, said she expected to see them on the tour in the coming years. It can be a lot.
“At this age they are still learning,” said Adam Molenda, a youth coach with Polands tennis federation, after watching two of his players, Antonina Snochowska and Maja Schweika, rally for an hour on Monday. “You never can say who will make it. Life is full of surprises.”
And decisions.
Grace Bernstein, a young Swedish standout, floated across the court and blasted balls against a boy as her mother watched from the fence. Whether she plays tennis or cards, Bernstein competes relentlessly, said her mother, Catharina, a former player whose singles ranking peaked at 286 in 1991. She plays at an academy run by Magnus Norman, once the worlds second-ranked mens singles player. She is also a top soccer player.
“She goes back and forth, but for now its tennis, so she plays tennis,” Catharina Bernstein said.
Image
Credit...Myrto Papadopoulos for The New York Times
For some, fame and fortune really can seem inevitable. Eisenbud famously signed Sharapova when she was 11 years old after watching her hit for 45 minutes with an intensity and flawlessness he had never before seen. Carlos Alcaraz, who turns 19 on Thursday and is already the hottest young player in the mens game, was deemed worthy of investment as a cant-miss 11-year-old, too. Then again, Eisenbud was sure the first player he signed, Horia Tecau of Romania, was destined for greatness. Tecau became a top doubles specialist but never cracked the top 300 in singles.
Eisenbud hatched his plan 18 months ago for a lavish competition with most expenses covered and all the perks of a professional event — ball kids, chair umpires, immaculate red clay courts, Beats headphones and swag from Nike for all the kids.
“We want to treat them like professional athletes,” said Elli Vizantiou, the chief executive of the Tatoi Club.
Not entirely forgetting they are kids, there was also a treasure hunt, group dinners each night and a tour of the Parthenon. IMG brought in Alcaraz, fresh off his win in the Barcelona Open final, to play an exhibition against Hubert Hurkacz, the 14th-ranked mens singles player.
Assembling the Future Stars field required months of interviews with coaches and tennis federation officials all over the world, evaluating resumes and tournament results, and scouring videos, looking for the magical combination of athleticism and skill. Creating a globally representative field was important, too. Finding a future top 50 player from a country or a demographic group that has never produced a tennis star could be groundbreaking and incredibly lucrative.
Players had to come with a chaperone, which in most cases was a parent, and a coach, giving IMG the chance to build relationships..
Image
Credit...Gary I. Rothstein for The New York Times
Eisenbud encouraged the coaches to pepper the Italian coach Riccardo Piatti, who led a coaching seminar, with questions, describing him as the “best” in the world.
Piatti spent Tuesday morning with an eye on Tyson Grant, a top under-12 player whose family he has been working with for nearly seven years. Piatti also oversees the coaching for Tysons 14-year-old sister, Tyra, who is already an IMG client. Tyson and Tyras father, Tyrone Grant, is nearly 6-foot-8 and played basketball professionally for a decade in Europe. With good genes, an early start and guidance from a renowned coach, Tyson Grant could be a decent bet.
A few courts over, Haniya Minhas was ripping one of the great young backhands, which she begins with the nub of her racket handle just about resting on her back hip.
“My favorite shot,” she said. “Everyone tells me to extend my arms, but I like the way I do it.”
Minhas, 11, is Pakistani and Muslim. She plays in a hijab, long sleeves and tights, and already looks like a billboard in the making.
She has been winning tournaments since she was 5 years old. Her search for suitable competition has taken her from Pakistan, where there is little support for girls sports and where she competed against and beat all of the boys her age, to Turkey. Her mother, Annie, said she and her daughter want to prove that someone who looks and dresses differently from most players and is from a country that has never had a tennis star can beat anyone. They expect to sign with an agent when Haniya turns 12.
“We are trying to change the thinking,” Annie Minhas said.
Image
Credit...Myrto Papadopoulos for The New York Times
Teo Davidov has a neat trick. Davidov, arguably the top boys player under 12, lives in Florida. His parents moved from Bulgaria to Colorado a decade ago when his father won the green card lottery. Born right-handed, he hits forehands on both sides and can serve with either hand, too. His father and coach, Kalin, started trying to make Teo ambidextrous in tennis when he was 8 years old because he was hyperactive. Kalin thought that stimulating the right hemisphere of his brain, which controls attention and memory, and the left side of the body, with left-handed exercises, would make him calmer.
“Hopefully it also helps his game,” said Kalin Davidov. The technique is devastating for now, but a top player has never succeeded by playing that way.
The Davidovs first got to know Eisenbud and IMG three years ago, after Kalin posted a video of his sons double-forehand game on Facebook. Soon, the phone rang. Babolat, the French racket maker, is a sponsor.
Michael Chang, who won the French Open in 1989 at 17, came with his daughter, Lani, who displayed an awfully familiar-looking drop shot and buried her nose in a Rick Riordan novel on the shuttle bus between the courts and the hotel. Chang said the circuit for young juniors has transformed since his childhood, with far more travel and international competition.
“Theyre getting a taste of what its like,” he said.
Image
Credit...From left: Associated Press; Matthew Futterman
Gunther Darkey, a former middling pro from Britain, brought his son, Denzell, a top prospect and one of the few Black elite juniors for the Lawn Tennis Association. Alcaraz has a 10-year-old brother, Jaime, who was good enough to receive an invitation. So was Meghan Knight, the daughter of a well-known cricketer from England.
“Youve got to be the kind of person who from 9 years old can improve consistently while taking losses every week for 10 or 15 years,” said Seb Lavie, who brought two players from his academy in Auckland, New Zealand.
Dominik Defoe insisted he is prepared for whatever it takes to make it. He was just about the smallest of the two dozen boys. He still plays with a junior-size racket and struggled to keep up with Grant in his first match. His opponents all try to hit with heavy topspin to bury him in the backcourt. He swats the ball back on a short hop before it kicks above his head.
Image
Credit...Matthew Futterman
Defoe, who is fluent in four languages, promised himself as a toddler that he would win the French Open. He has built his existence around giving himself the best chance to make that happen.
He attends school in the morning for math and language lessons, but he works independently on the rest of his studies to free up more hours for tennis. Studying the pros closely, he decided not to have one favorite but built a composite player who has Dominic Thiems forehand, Nick Kyrgioss serve, Novak Djokovics backhand, Rafael Nadals attitude, Roger Federers net game and Felix Auger-Aliassimes footwork. He practices mindfulness by writing in a journal.
“He told me when we were coming here that this journey was like a train ride,” said his mother, Rachel, who was his first coach. “This is just one stop, one station. Then the train goes on.”
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# As El Salvadors president tries to silence free press, journalist brothers expose his ties to street gangs - Los Angeles Times
MEXICO CITY  
Carlos Martínez peered over his brother Óscars shoulder as they proofread the investigation they were about to publish, a story they feared could change their lives forever — or perhaps even worse, change nothing at all.
Óscar tapped his foot frantically, rattling the floorboards. Carlos heaved deep sighs, as if steadying himself for a fight.
The brothers, two of El Salvadors most celebrated journalists, had produced a damning report exposing [President Nayib Bukeles](https://www.latimes.com/world/la-fg-el-salvador-election-20190203-story.html) ties to the street gangs that have long terrorized Central America.
The report showed that a [recent historic rise](https://www.latimes.com/world-nation/story/2022-03-27/el-salvador-declares-state-of-emergency-amid-killings) in homicides was the result of a broken pact between the government and El Salvadors largest gang. The brothers and their colleagues had previously reported the details of the secret deal, in which Bukele aides gave jailed leaders of the Mara Salvatrucha gang special treatment in exchange for their pledge to reduce violence on the streets.
It was the kind of journalism that has distinguished the Salvadoran press. In the three decades since peace accords ended the nations bloody civil war, El Salvador had become a beacon of media freedom in a region where journalists are sometimes jailed and even killed for hard-hitting work exposing the powerful and the corrupt.
![El Salvador's President Nayib Bukele](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==)
Salvadoran President Nayib Bukele delivers an annual address to the nation before Congress in June 2021.
(Associated Press)
But everything had changed under Bukele, [a young, image-obsessed autocrat](https://www.latimes.com/world-nation/story/2021-05-16/nayib-bukele-the-most-popular-president-in-the-world-is-a-man-with-one-ideology-power) who once called himself “the worlds coolest dictator.”
He and the Martínez brothers were from the same generation — all raised amid war by politically minded parents — but they had taken starkly different paths. While the brothers crusaded against power, convinced that strong checks on authority were a precondition for El Salvadors fledgling democracy, Bukele was intent on acquiring it.
Since taking office in 2019, he has [seized control](https://www.latimes.com/world-nation/story/2022-04-05/el-salvador-leader-cut-food-for-gang-inmates) of El Salvadors independent institutions — purging judges, punishing critics and laying the groundwork to remain in office despite a constitutional ban on consecutive reelection.
Bukele, 40, has maintained some of the highest approval ratings on the planet, thanks in large part to his skill at controlling media narratives.
Bukele has built a sprawling state-run media machine that is guided by daily opinion polling while at the same time surveilling independent journalists with spyware and drones, punishing government officials for leaking information, and lobbing tax fraud and money-laundering accusations at El Faro, the investigative news site where the Martínez brothers work.
In April, Bukele [approved a law](https://www.latimes.com/world-nation/story/2022-04-24/el-salvadors-president-wants-to-extend-state-of-emergency) that threatens any journalist who reports on gangs with up to 15 years in prison.
As soon as the Martínez brothers published their story, they would be vulnerable to arrest.
To protect themselves, they had temporarily decamped with their families to Mexico City.
Working out of a friends apartment on that warm evening in May, both had beers cracked and cigarettes lit when Carlos finally clicked a button and the story went online.
The brothers embraced. “Lets see,” Carlos said, “if weve just ruined our lives.”
Brothers Óscar and Carlos Martínez embrace.
(Lisette Poole / For The Times)
Growing up during the war, the Martínez brothers didnt have to look beyond their own family to see the countrys bitter divisions.
Their parents were ardent supporters of the left-wing guerrillas fighting the nations U.S.-backed military dictatorship. Their maternal uncle, Roberto DAubuisson, was the leader of a right-wing death squad responsible for one of the wars most notorious acts: The assassination of Archbishop Óscar Romero while he was celebrating Mass.
The family didnt shield Carlos, Óscar or their youngest brother, Juan, from the horrors of the conflict, which stretched from 1979 to 1992 and killed 75,000 people.
“They never told us that we lived in a country that was perfect,” said Carlos, 42, who laughs easily, wears a black hoop in one ear and is never without his pack of cigarettes or asthma inhaler. “Since childhood, we understood that it was impossible to understand our country without understanding violence.”
Carlos, the eldest, was still a student when he joined El Faro in 2000.
The site, whose name means “The Lighthouse,” was Latin Americas first digital-only newspaper, and it aimed to hold the new postwar government accountable.
“In El Salvador, there really wasnt a tradition of journalism,” said co-founder Carlos Dada. “We basically had to invent it.”
With aid from international training programs, nonprofits and foreign governments promoting democracy, El Faro soon became one of the most respected news outlets in Latin America. Along with unflinching corruption investigations, the site was known for its nuanced reporting on a fresh crisis of violence gripping El Salvador.
Powerful street gangs had seized control of parts of the country, trafficking drugs, extorting cash from small businesses and killing with such abandon that El Salvador ranked among the most murderous countries in the world. Gangsters dictated where residents were allowed to work, worship and go to school.
Carlos and Óscar, his intense, tattooed brother, who had joined El Faro in 2007, dived into the criminal underworld, embedding in prisons and safe houses to understand the new phenomenon.
They exposed the origins of the gangs, which were formed by Salvadoran war refugees in Los Angeles in the 1990s and later exported back to Central America through deportations. And they revealed how gang members slain in what authorities described as “confrontations” with police often turned out to be victims of extrajudicial killings.
“Wed finish work and would be sitting around drinking rum still talking about it all,” Carlos said. The conversations often included their brother Juan, an anthropologist who specialized in gang culture.
In 2012 Carlos, Óscar and their El Faro colleagues stumbled onto their biggest story yet: The gangs had discovered that their violence had a political value, which they were wielding to glean favors from the government.
The reporters showed how then-President Carlos Mauricio Funes transferred gang leaders out of high-security prisons on the condition that their foot soldiers put down their weapons.
The resulting decline in homicides ensured that negotiations with the gangs would be a part of Salvadoran political life for years to come: They had achieved what no security strategy could.
In the years since, El Faro has revealed evidence that both of the countrys major political parties negotiated with the gangs for electoral support. Political leaders usually denied the stories, but while they were sometimes hostile, they never sought to silence the journalists.
With Bukele, that was no longer the case.
![President Nayib Bukele wearing a backward baseball cap](https://ca-times.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/a52435f/2147483647/strip/true/crop/3483x2322+0+0/resize/2000x1333!/quality/90/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fcalifornia-times-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fa4%2F49%2Fe77d57fe45bbab1f084bdbfcb3c8%2Fel-salvador-politics-overturned-21001.jpg)
Salvadoran President Nayib Bukele.
(Associated Press)
Before he was president, Bukele was an advertising executive. Even those who have criticized his authoritarian drift often acknowledge he has a certain genius for self-marketing.
Its a skill he seems to have inherited from his father, Armando, who was born to Palestinian immigrants and became one of El Salvadors wealthiest businessmen and the host of a television program where he held forth on history and sympathized with leftist politics.
Nayib Bukele was elected on a populist wave of anger at the two major political parties that emerged after the war, both of which had been embroiled in major corruption scandals.
He presented himself as something different: a modern, forward-looking leader who used Instagram and thought like a tech-disrupter even as he embraced the power-grabbing tactics of Latin American caudillos before him.
He lured popular journalists away from established media outlets to higher paying jobs in the government and launched dozens of new media outlets that claim independence but push government propaganda.
He tweeted dozens of times a day — messages that technology analysts say were amplified on social media by armies of bots — to craft a narrative of an ascendant, prosperous country and of himself as an “instrument of God” sent to lead it.
He went to war with the journalists who dared to contradict him.
The Martínez brothers knew something was deeply wrong last year when a colleague at El Faro told them a source within El Salvadors government had played her a recording of a phone call between the brothers in which they discussed an investigation.
Each had been alone during the conversation, which they conducted on the encrypted application Signal. They began to suspect that one or both of their phones had somehow been listening in.
In January of this year, their fears were confirmed: An [analysis](https://citizenlab.ca/2022/01/project-torogoz-extensive-hacking-media-civil-society-el-salvador-pegasus-spyware/) by the University of Torontos Citizen Lab and digital rights group Access Now found that the brothers and 20 of their El Faro colleagues — as well as at least 15 journalists from other outlets — were surveilled for more than a year with the spyware Pegasus, whose Israeli developer sells exclusively to governments.
“They know the details of my relationships with all the people I love,” said Carlos, who was spied on for 269 days, more than anyone else.
“They know the people who are important to me, and that makes them all vulnerable.”
In the wake of the Pegasus scandal, human rights organizations called for an investigation and Reporters Without Borders further downgraded El Salvadors ranking on its annual [press freedom index](https://rsf.org/en/index).
Officials in El Salvador said nothing.
Members of Bukeles party in congress quickly approved a reform legalizing “undercover digital operations” by authorities.
The Martínez brothers were growing more and more stressed. They worried, Carlos said, that the Salvadoran government was “just getting started with us.”
They were right.
![Bukele in a military parade.](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==)
President Nayib Bukele, right, takes part in a military parade.
(Marvin Recinos / AFP/Getty Images)
Bukele had touted a dramatic reduction in homicides as one of his crowing achievements, celebrating each day that passed without a killing.
In slick promotional videos, he credited the work of police and soldiers. “We Salvadorans are taking control of our future,” he told the Legislative Assembly, as congress is formally known. “We did it without negotiating with criminals.”
But investigations by Carlos, Óscar and their El Faro colleagues had revealed that the government had been in talks with the gangs from the beginning.
They cited hundreds of pages of prison reports that showed that Bukele had granted MS-13 expansive concessions — from permitting fried chicken from a popular restaurant to be sold inside prisons to moving guards that the gangs viewed as aggressive — in exchange for reducing killings and supporting Bukeles political party in 2021 congressional elections.
Then, one weekend in March, the peace that had helped win Bukele wide support came to an abrupt end.
El Salvadors gangs went on a killing spree. On a single day, 62 people were gunned down across the country, a level of violence not seen since the war ended.
Humiliated and furious, Bukele and his party declared emergency rule, suspending many civil liberties and easing the conditions for making arrests.
Since then authorities have imprisoned more than 35,000 people whom Bukele describes as “terrorist” gang members. Nearly 2% of the adult population is currently in jail.
Human rights groups say the majority of detainees were arrested arbitrarily and have not been given due process. Amnesty International [says](https://www.amnesty.org/en/latest/news/2022/06/el-salvador-president-bukele-human-rights-crisis/) at least 18 people have died in state custody — including from torture and other abuse.
![Arrestees in El Salvador](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==)
Men arrested for alleged gang ties are escorted by Salvadoran police during a government-declared state of emergency on March 31, 2022.
(Marvin Recinos / AFP/Getty Images)
Bukele used the spike in killings to further target journalists — whom he equates with gang members as fellow enemies of the state — starting with passage of the law threatening prison time for those who “disseminate messages from gangs.”
His government is accused of sending drones to spy on several El Faro reporters, and he has launched online smear campaigns against multiple journalists, including a freelance reporter for the New York Times who fled the country after Bukele supporters claimed he was the sibling of an imprisoned gang leader. Never mind that the reporter doesnt have a brother.
Juan, the youngest Martínez brother, fled too, after Bukele called him “trash” and [tweeted](https://twitter.com/nayibbukele/status/1513591841656127488) a video interview in which he had said gangs sometimes “fulfilled a necessary social function” in El Salvador.
For Óscar and Carlos, the cause of the sudden explosion of violence in March seemed clear: Bukeles truce with the gang had broken down. The brothers set out to prove it, despite the risks.
“Were going to do what El Faro has always done,” Carlos said. “When we have information, we publish. It doesnt matter what happens next.”
Carlos reached out to some of his gang sources, saying he was interested in speaking to high-level Mara Salvatrucha leaders about what had happened. Finally, a gang leader got in touch and turned over audio recordings in which a top Bukele aide [can be heard](https://elfaro.net/en/202205/el_salvador/26177/Collapsed-Government-Talks-with-MS-13-Sparked-Record-Homicides-in-El-Salvador-Audios-Reveal.htm) discussing the collapse of the agreement.
The aide talked extensively about how he had won the gangs favor, once escorting a gang member wanted in the U.S. out of El Salvador to safety in Guatemala. He repeatedly referred to “Batman,” which the gangsters said was reference to Bukele.
Carlos immediately called his brother. “I have everything,” he said.
The Martínez brothers decamped to Mexico City to finish the story without fear of arrest.
(Lisette Poole / For The Times)
The next day, El Faro flew Carlos to Mexico City to continue reporting on the recordings without fear of Salvadoran authorities interrupting him. Óscar later joined him.
The story that Carlos wrote and Óscar edited explains that the March gang massacre was retribution for the arrest of a group of Mara Salvatrucha leaders who were supposed to be protected by the government.
Shortly after the story went live, the brothers mother, Marisa, called.
“How are you? Happy?” Marisa asked via video chat. “Im so proud of you.” She, too, had left the country ahead of the publication date.
Soon, friends started coming over to celebrate with beer and mezcal. They included several other Salvadoran journalists who had recently gone into exile abroad.
As drinks were poured and cigarettes were lit, Carlos called out to his brother, who was still hunched over the laptop.
“How many do we have?” Carlos asked, referring to readers.
“3,000,” Óscar responded.
By June that number would reach nearly 200,000.
As the story made the rounds online, Batman memes proliferated, opposition leaders expressed outrage, and the government remained silent.
In some ways, that wasnt a surprise. Bukele does not always strike back immediately. And he surely understood that if he acknowledged the piece, he would be giving it more exposure.
Instead, over the next few days, Bukele focused on his preferred agenda: He [tweeted](https://twitter.com/nayibbukele/status/1527020263463956483) about handing out digital tablets to schoolchildren and about the “bitcoin swag bags” given to international bankers who had visited the country after Bukele made the cryptocurrency legal tender in El Salvador.
He also tweeted a [sympathetic message](https://twitter.com/LaHuellaSV/status/1527840985035640833?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1527840985035640833%7Ctwgr%5E%7Ctwcon%5Es1_&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fdiariolahuella.com%2Fpresidente-bukele-a-elon-musk-los-medios-de-comunicacion-una-vez-todopoderosos-han-perdido-su-influencia%2F) to Elon Musk, currently embroiled in a bid to buy Twitter. “Once you denounce the system, they will come after you with everything they have,” Bukele wrote. “They will smear, attack, degrade, try to bankrupt you ... Luckily, we live in evolving times, and their once all powerful media outlets have lost their clout.”
More disappointing to the brothers was the fact that some of the countrys biggest media outlets did not acknowledge the story, perhaps because they were afraid of violating the new law threatening prison time for reporting on gangs.
Bukeles government had not arrested anybody, yet it appeared that his law was having its intended chilling effect.
A few days after the article was published, Óscar returned to El Salvador. He knew he could be detained, but as editor in chief of El Faro, he worried staying abroad would send the wrong message to his newsroom.
There were no police waiting for him as he stepped off his plane. Still, he said hes watching “day by day” to determine whether he has to leave again.
Carlos remains in Mexico for now. A life in exile is the last thing he wants. He loves his country, and misses the verdant beach that is a short walk from his house. It pains him to think that El Salvadors relatively new experiment with democracy could end in failure.
Sometimes he wonders: Are we condemned to live with violence?
He is certain now of only two things.
Wherever he is he will keep reporting. And whatever is coming will be harder than this.
Brothers Óscar and Carlos Martínez.
(Lisette Poole / For The Times)
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# As rents rise, Americans are stuck in homes even when they want to move
At the heart of America is a packed bag.
“Go west, young man, and grow up with the country,” newspaper editor Horace Greeley once exclaimed. A proponent of westward expansion, Greeley rightfully struck at the heart of a particularly American brand of freedom: the ability to get the hell out of dodge.
And while freedom of movement has never been equally distributed, potentially the most defining migration the nation has ever seen was the [Great Migration](https://www.archives.gov/research/african-americans/migrations/great-migration), when millions of Black Americans fled the South, Jim Crow the wind at their backs.
Isabel Wilkerson, the historian and author of _The Warmth of Other Suns,_ captured the essence of this mass movement: “They did what human beings looking for freedom, throughout history, have often done. They left.”
But what happens when leaving is no longer an option? In the US, thats what were witnessing right now: “Americans, it seems, are finding themselves increasingly locked into places that they wish to escape,” two psychologists grimly proclaim in a new paper studying the cultural effects of residential stagnation. Study authors Nicholas Buttrick and Shigehiro Oishi [cite](https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/2332649217728374) [research](https://www.census.gov/library/publications/2015/demo/p70-140.html) showing that when you compare todays Americans to people in the 1970s, people who said they intended to move from a place are 45 percent less likely to have actually done so.
The paper finds that as residential mobility has gone down, so have “levels of happiness, fairness, and trust among Americans.”
How could declining mobility lead to these changes? Buttrick and Oishi explain that moving to a new place severs social bonds, and in a new town, far from home, newcomers are forced to define themselves with “context-free personality traits (i.e., I am hardworking or I am intelligent)” rather than by their relationships to locals like they might in their hometown (i.e., “my sister owns the butcher shop downtown”).
Importantly, all that researchers have found are correlations: No one has yet established that declining mobility _causes_ any psychological changes. And another caveat — while some [data exists](https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1111/1540-6040.00016) related to how much Americans were moving in the 1700s and 1800s, it is only since 1948 that the researchers have a “reliable annual rate of residential mobility ... mak\[ing\] it difficult to draw strong conclusions regarding the cultural effects of residential mobility in the longer term.”
Another note of caution is that residential mobility is not independent of economic growth, settlement patterns, religiosity, and more. In other words, it could be something else that is driving some or all of this correlation.
The authors are aware of this and note that while things like unemployment and GDP growth have cyclical patterns, mobility rates have been declining steadily since 1948 through booms and busts alike.
And the psychologists work builds on a body of economic and political science literature that has raised the alarm for decades about declining interstate mobility and its negative effects on financial and personal freedom.
Buttrick and Oishi delineate the cultural markers of a mobile society (“individualism, optimism, and tolerance”) and a stable society (“security, and a strong sense of the difference between ingroups and outgroups”). This growing shift toward the latter could explain much of what has happened to Americas political system in recent decades.
### What happens when people want to move but cant
“Unfathomable” — thats the word Buttrick and Oishi use to describe the rate at which Americans in the 1700s and 1800s exchanged communities:
> Throughout the 19th century, as many as 40% of Americans may have moved year over year. For example, in one Illinois county, only about 20% of households living there in 1840 stayed to 1850; in a different Ohio city, only 7% of people voted in both the 1850 and 1860 elections in the same district; in the Jamaica Plain neighborhood of Boston, only half of household heads enumerated in 1880 could be found in 1890; and in New York City, “Moving Day,” the First of May, was an unofficial city holiday (Fischer, 2002).
Today, thats not the case. While the majority of Americans are happy where they are — according to Gallup survey data in 2016, 74 percent of Americans rated their current residence as ideal — this growing bloc of “trapped” or [“stuck”](https://openyls.law.yale.edu/bitstream/handle/20.500.13051/10308/DavidSchleicherStuckTheLa.pdf?sequence=2) communities has concerning cultural effects.
Buttrick and Oishis big takeaway: When people move less, it affects culture. Less dynamism, increased aversion to risk, suspicion of outsiders, cynicism, unhappiness, and “people who feel less free to live their social lives as they see fit.”
Looking at a survey of 16,000 Americans, the authors find that people who want to move but remain at the same address the following year are more likely to disagree that “hard work can help a person get ahead,” even when controlling for a bunch of factors like socioeconomic status, health, age, race, and more.
“Wanting to move but being unable to leave leads people to wonder about whether their other efforts in life will be rewarded,” the researchers write.
Americans have historically been defined by our willingness to move for greener pastures, and, despite some pessimistic narratives, [Americans are pretty welcoming to outsiders](https://www.economist.com/graphic-detail/2018/12/11/america-is-friendlier-to-foreigners-than-headlines-suggest). Buttrick and Oishi cite research showing that Americans are very [individualistic](https://www.hofstede-insights.com/country-comparison/the-usa/), [very trusting of strangers](https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11205-010-9713-5), [egalitarian](https://www.hofstede-insights.com/country-comparison/the-usa/), optimistic, and risk-taking, and “to a degree unmatched by other nations” believe that [technology can solve big problems](https://scholarlypublishingcollective.org/psup/utopian-studies/article/28/2/231/197652/Practical-Utopias-America-as-Techno-Fix-Nation). And Americans are “unusually likely to believe that all people [everywhere are essentially the same](https://www.nature.com/articles/466029a).”
But, the authors argue, much of that has been changing in parallel with declining interstate mobility. We could be left with much more stable communities that are much less trusting of outsiders. To put a finer point on it, if youre stuck in a place where you dont want to be, it has broader implications for your ability to pick your social networks. You are stuck with the family and friends that you happen to be near.
That, in turn, leads to a lot more loyalty toward ones in-group. If its extremely difficult to make new friends, its extremely costly to lose any of the ones you have or alienate them. This increased importance of in-group relations can be accompanied by decreased openness and increased xenophobia, because newcomers simply cannot draw on a reservoir of reputation that they have been cultivating for decades.
### The policies helping kill the American dream
So why is all this happening? What is keeping Americans stuck? Even as localized recessions (that would have previously sent people running for economic opportunity elsewhere) hit, [people stay put](https://economics.mit.edu/files/11560). Even as wage premiums for college degrees and higher-paying jobs concentrate in a handful of cities, low-income workers [remain in stagnating pockets of the country](https://www.nber.org/papers/w17167).
The authors dont identify any causal factors.
But I, [and](https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/12/opinion/biden-infrastructure-zoning.html) [many](https://www.aeaweb.org/articles?id=10.1257/mac.20170388) [economists](https://noahpinion.substack.com/p/the-yimbys-are-starting-to-win-a?utm_source=url), argue that this is because of the walls of red tape that states have put up. Specifically, two types of regulations: zoning restrictions on how land can be used, and occupational licensing requirements.
The former severely limits the supply of housing, particularly in in-demand labor markets, driving up the price of housing. New research shows that for many people, moving to many economically flourishing cities could mean taking a financial hit, as the [increased cost of housing dwarfs a substantially larger salary](https://www2.census.gov/ces/wp/2021/CES-WP-21-32.pdf).
And the latter can discourage people from moving to states where regulations make it costly to keep doing their jobs. According to the [Captured Economy](https://capturedeconomy.com/occupational-licensing/#:~:text=Today%2C%20around%2025%20percent%20of,from%2010%20percent%20in%201970.&text=Although%20these%20regulations%20are%20justified,improves%20consumer%20welfare%20is%20weak.) project at the centrist Niskanen Center, “today, around 25 percent of American workers need a state license to do their job — up from 10 percent in 1970.” These regulations make it really hard for workers like cosmetologists or contractors to move to different states due to the financial and time costs of getting a new license. According to the libertarian [Institute for Justice](https://ij.org/report/license-to-work-2/) (IJ), “on average these laws require nearly a year of education and experience, one exam, and over $260 in fees.”
And while these laws are enacted under the guise of consumer protection, as IJ finds, there are many ridiculous discrepancies that show that reasoning to be a [farce](https://ij.org/report/license-to-work-2/): “\[I\]n most states, it takes 12 times longer to get a license to cut hair as a cosmetologist than to get a license to administer life-saving care as an emergency medical technician.”
And its not just the housing costs and occupational licenses that are reducing interstate mobility. As [Yale Law professor David Schleicher details](https://openyls.law.yale.edu/bitstream/handle/20.500.13051/10308/DavidSchleicherStuckTheLa.pdf?sequence=2), “differing eligibility standards for public benefits, public employee pensions, homeownership tax subsidies, state and local tax laws, and even basic property law doctrines” make it hard to move _from_ declining regions as well.
With all of these regulations piling up and increases in the opportunity costs of moving, interstate mobility could continue to decline and the US might reach a damning future where to move, you have to be rich.
### Stability has benefits, too — America just needs to better balance them with the benefits of mobility
Having a preference for stability isnt bad. In fact, most people, even the individualistic, age into stability. Perhaps when they have children and want to stay put for them to attend school, or when they grow older and change that would have once felt exciting now feels alienating.
Residential stability also provides important bonds. Buttrick and Oishi theorize that “people who have just moved to a place may be less interested in coming together for long-term action and may be less interested in investing in their communities.” So while movers may be optimistic, idealistic, and willing to make friends with new people, the non-movers may promote the type of social cohesion that makes that all possible.
“Areas with more residential mobility tend to have lower levels of social capital,” Buttrick told me. “If you just get to a place, its really hard to embed yourself in a community.”
But it doesnt have to be that way.
“There are some American institutions that are relatively good at getting people integrated into a community,” he added. For example, “megachurches are one of these cultural responses to residential mobility — theyre big, they dont take a lot of time, and they get you into a deep community quickly without having to incur a lot of costs.”
At the end of the day, its about balance. Its not that everyone should be moving all the time, but that they should always have the option.
If the psychologists are right and individualists overwhelmingly want to leave small towns and rural America, it [could severely unbalance the country](https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=3321790). And not just unbalance the country because the nonconformists have all fled for the superstar cities, but because its often only the better-off mavericks who are able to leave. This type of economic residential segregation can have [serious consequences for the children who grow up in disinvested communities](https://academic.oup.com/qje/article/129/4/1553/1853754).
While stability can sound great in theory, what it means in practice is different depending on the circumstances. A stable white-picket-fence suburb could be great for some people, but if “stable” means trapped in a high-poverty neighborhood, thats a policy failure. [Research](https://www.asanet.org/sites/default/files/attach/journals/jul18srefeature.pdf) has found that while declining interstate mobility may be due to changing preferences for white Americans, Black Americans are increasingly unable to move when they expect to.
And theres an asymmetry — while being forced to stay somewhere is almost entirely negative, being forced to move can actually benefit those who relocate. One recent [study](https://eml.berkeley.edu/~enakamura/papers/giftofmoving.pdf) by UC Berkeleys Emi Nakamura and Jón Steinsson and Norwegian School of Economics Jósef Sigurdsson, looked at what happened to households that were forced to move after their town was covered with lava.
In 1973 a volcano erupted, causing an Icelandic towns inhabitants to be evacuated — and while many people returned if their homes were still standing, for those whose homes were destroyed, that was significantly less likely. The authors found that children whose families were forced to leave following the destruction of their homes were more likely to have a “large _increase_ in long-run labor earnings and education ... specifically, we estimate a causal effect of moving of $27,000 per year, or close to a doubling of the average earnings of those whose homes were not destroyed.”
Of course the trauma and shock of having to leave your home behind and the associated economic costs with that are borne heavily by the adults in this situation. Nevertheless, this natural experiment reveals that, on net, the costs of moving, even under traumatic conditions, might be compensated for.
No one is suggesting forcibly moving Americans via strategic lava flows. But there are costs to taking the steps that would allow more mobility: for example, loosening zoning restrictions leads to increased construction and neighborhood change in the places that people want to move to. These costs are unequivocally worth it.
America is aging and biasing our political and cultural institutions against risk-taking, new ideas, and new groups of people. Further tilting the scales against openness and dynamism could mean dwindling social and economic mobility and generations of Americans growing up in a country where freedom of movement belongs only to the rich.

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# As the West takes aim with Russian sanctions, heres what we know about oligarchs secret finances - ICIJ
**Update, Feb. 22, 2022:** Russian oligarchs Boris Rotenberg, Igor Rotenberg and Gennady Timchenko have been sanctioned by the U.K., along with five Russian banks, hours after President Vladimir Putin ordered troops into two separatist regions in Ukraine after recognizing their independence. [Read our full story here](https://www.icij.org/investigations/pandora-papers/uk-targets-three-oligarchs-and-five-russian-banks-in-first-tranche-of-new-sanctions/).**
As tensions continue to rise around the threat of a Russian invasion of Ukraine, authorities in the U.S. and the U.K. are looking to hit figures close to Russian President Vladimir Putin where it might hurt: in Western safe havens where they keep and spend their money.
Late last month, U.S. and U.K. officials said they [were preparing](https://www.wsj.com/articles/u-s-u-k-prepare-plans-to-sanction-russian-oligarchs-businesses-11643660794) economic sanctions for possible use against both sectors of the Russian economy as well as wealthy Russian individuals with close connections to Russian President Vladimir Putin and senior Russian government officials. The measures could include family members of the potentially targeted people.
“Sanctions would cut them off from the international financial system and ensure that they and their family members will no longer be able to enjoy the perks of parking their money in the West and attending elite Western universities,” a senior U.S. official [told Reuters](https://www.reuters.com/world/europe/us-prepared-sanction-russian-elites-close-putin-if-russia-invades-ukraine-2022-01-31/) late last month.
The sanctions regime that U.K. officials say they are devising may be the most worrying for rich Russians, who have long seen London as a safe destination for storing and growing their wealth.
> ***In elite Russian financial circles, there is always that lingering concern about what U.K. authorities know and what they could do** — Russia expert Alex Nice*
In late January, the U.K. government [said it was](https://www.wsj.com/articles/u-s-u-k-prepare-plans-to-sanction-russian-oligarchs-businesses-11643660794) working on a new proposed sanctions law that would leverage its status as a major destination of Russian private money in order to place political pressure on the Kremlin. This is a measure that critics have long urged the U.K. to take. “It will be the toughest sanction regime against Russia we have ever had,” the United Kingdoms Foreign Secretary Liz Truss [said](https://www.wsj.com/articles/u-s-u-k-prepare-plans-to-sanction-russian-oligarchs-businesses-11643660794).
“Its always like the gun you have on the table — it is in the room and gives you leverage without you using it,” Alex Nice, a researcher at the Institute for Government, told the International Consortium of Investigative Journalists of the prospect of U.K. authorities going after Russian money. “In elite Russian financial circles, there is always that lingering concern about what U.K. authorities know and what they could do.”
For more than a decade, [ICIJ](https://www.icij.org/) has tracked flows of money globally stories that have commonly involved wealthy Russians with elite political connections. These projects included the [Panama Papers](https://www.icij.org/tags/panama-papers/), the [Paradise Papers](https://www.icij.org/investigations/paradise-papers/), [FinCEN Files](https://www.icij.org/investigations/fincen-files/), and the [Pandora Papers](https://www.icij.org/investigations/pandora-papers/).
Here are five oligarchs whose financial dealings have been uncovered by ICIJ investigations and who have received additional scrutiny from authorities.
## Alisher Usmanov
***Politically connected Uzbek-Russian billionaire***
![Russian billionaire Alisher Usmanov and Vladimir Putin](https://media.icij.org/uploads/2017/11/UsmanovPutin-GettyImages-620w.jpg)
Vladimir Putin talks with Russian billionaire Alisher Usmanov.
Usmanov has for decades invested heavily in tech firms in Russia and elsewhere while keeping close [connections](https://www.icij.org/investigations/paradise-papers/senators-urge-adding-usmanov-official-oligarch-list-citing-paradise-papers-revelations/) to the Russian political elite. During the early days of Facebooks growth as a social media firm, Kanton Services, a firm with links to Usmanov provided a link between Russian state money and [large early investments in Facebook](https://www.icij.org/investigations/paradise-papers/kremlin-owned-firms-linked-major-twitter-facebook-investments-icij/), according to reporting from 2017 that was a part of [the Paradise Papers](https://www.icij.org/investigations/paradise-papers/kremlin-owned-firms-linked-major-twitter-facebook-investments-icij/). The leaked records reviewed by ICIJ indicate that all of Kantons shares were owned as recently as 2009 by an investment manager who is known as an Usmanov business associate.
Rollo Head, a spokesman for Usmanov, said Usmanov “has been a highly successful investor in Russian and international assets utilizing a combination of his own and borrowed funds.”
Usmanov has avoided major rounds of sanctions on wealthy Russians. He appeared on a 2018 U.S. Treasury Department list of Russian Oligarchs. [British MPs recently](https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-politics-55844146) called for sanctioning Usmanov over Russian political aggression.
## Gennady Timchenko
***Russian billionaire and oil magnate who is known for his close relationship with Russian President Vladimir Putin***
In 2010, Timchenkos investment fund, Volga Resources, became one of the largest shareholders in Novatek, one of Russias primary natural gas firms, extending Timchenkos considerable grip on Russias oil and gas industry.
[Pandora Papers reporting from October 2021 reveal](https://www.icij.org/investigations/pandora-papers/power-players/) a series of massive loans in 2007 and 2008 between anonymous offshore shell companies and a Timchenko firm registered in Cyprus. The Moscow Times reported that the firm, called White Seal Holdings, played a role in Timchenkos Novatek investment.
The files show that a Cyprus shell company called Vidrio Enterprises Limited loaned White Seal $572 million between 2007 and 2008. Some of the repayment dates were a single year after the loans were made. In 2008, White Seal received an additional $150 million from another anonymous Cyprus company called Bodela Holdings. It is unclear who ultimately owns Vidrio and Bodela Holdings, and Timchenko did not answer questions about the firms owners. In 2007, White Seal received a loan of $320 million from a shell company called Lerma Trading S.A., registered in Panama. Lawyers for Timchenko told ICIJ that “our clients unequivocal position is that he has always acted entirely lawfully throughout his career and business dealings.”
In 2015, the U.S. government sanctioned White Seal and Lerma Trading for “acting for or on behalf of” Timchenko. Timchenko was also director of LTS Holding Limited and beneficial owner of Roxlane Corporate Limited, both of which were registered in the British Virgin Islands.
## Arkady Rotenberg
***Russian businessman, billionaire and former [Judo partner](https://www.nytimes.com/2018/04/06/world/europe/russian-oligarchs-sanctions.html) of Vladimir Putin***
![Vladimir Putin and Arkady Rotenberg](https://media.icij.org/uploads/2020/07/Arkady_Rotenberg_Putin_GettyImages-1124908820-835x640.jpg)
Russian President Vladimir Putin and billionaire Arkady Rotenberg attend judo training in Sochi, Russia. Image: Mikhail Svetlov/Getty Images
In 2013, one of Arkady Rotenbergs companies received potentially lucrative [government contracts](http://imrussia.org/en/analysis/economy/765-will-the-south-stream-be-frozen) to work on a proposed $40 billion natural gas pipeline between Russia and Europe. Around the same time, three anonymous companies made huge payments into the Putin network, [records show](https://www.icij.org/investigations/panama-papers/20160403-putin-russia-offshore-network/). Two of the shadow companies, and likely all three, were controlled by Arkady Rotenberg, [according to Panama Papers](https://www.icij.org/investigations/panama-papers/20160403-putin-russia-offshore-network/) reporting from 2016.
Loans from these Rotenberg companies totaling more than $231 million appear to have gone to a British Virgin Islands-based company called Sunbarn Limited, created by a manager at Bank Rossiya, according to ICIJs [reporting](https://www.icij.org/investigations/panama-papers/20160403-putin-russia-offshore-network/); The loans had no repayment schedule.
When reached for comment by ICIJ in 2016, Arkady Rotenberg did not respond to a request for comment.
The European Union and the U.S. government [issued sanctions](http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-26672800) against Arkady Rotenberg in 2014, in retaliation for Putins annexation of Crimea. The U.S. also sanctioned his brother Boris.
## Oleg Deripaska
***Billionaire in Russias natural resources sector and close ally of Vladimir Putin***
Between 2013 and 2015, compliance officers at the Bank of New York Mellon [flagged 16 transactions as potentially suspicious](https://www.icij.org/investigations/fincen-files/confidential-clients/). Each of these transactions involved Mallow Capital Corp., a company registered in the British Virgin Islands that operates as a subsidiary of Oleg Deripaskas Basic Element Group. Mellon said Mallow Capital appeared to be a shell company operating in a high-risk area with no known legitimate business purpose. In 2012 and 2013, Mallow sent itself nearly $420 million using different British Virgin Islands addresses and different banks. Mallow also sent $20 million to another company with the same name, this one listing an address in Cyprus. The Bank of New York Mellon helped facilitate these transactions through a relationship with Moscow-based Bank Soyuz. Deripaska bought a controlling stake in Bank Soyuz in 2010, according to Reuters.
Banks reports of suspicious activity reflect the concerns of bank compliance officers and are not necessarily indicative of criminal conduct or other wrongdoing. Deripaska denied laundering funds or committing financial crimes.
## Yury Kovalchuk
***Russian banker and longtime confidant of Vladimir Putin, who [U.S. officials have called](https://www.wsj.com/articles/u-s-sanctions-against-russia-bite-putins-personal-banker-1414711043) Putins “personal banker”***
Kovalchuk is co-owner of a company, Ozon, that holds the title to what is reported to be Vladimir Putins favorite ski resorts, [according to a Panama Papers](https://www.icij.org/investigations/panama-papers/20160403-putin-russia-offshore-network/) story from 2016. Beginning in late 2009, Ozon received $11.3 million worth of loans from a key offshore company in the Putin network, the Panama Papers show. The loans carried an interest rate of 1 percent, according to the reporting.
One $5 million loan was revised and extended multiple times and was converted to Russian rubles; the exchange rate and new amendments reduced its value and ultimately, the amount owed, [the leaked documents show](https://www.icij.org/investigations/panama-papers/20160403-putin-russia-offshore-network/).
When reached for comment in 2016, a lawyer for Kovalchuk said information about Bank Rossiya was available from public sources, adding: “We do not understand why your decision was to address these questions to Mr. Yury Kovalchuk.”
At the time, Bank Rossiya did not respond to detailed questions about its role.
Kovalchuk has [previously](https://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-sanctions-russia/u-s-sanctions-companies-people-over-russia-actions-in-ukraine-idUSKBN1492AH) been sanctioned by the US, who has called him a close adviser to Putin and his personal banker.
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# At 88, Poker Legend Doyle Brunson Is Still Bluffing. Or Is He?
In poker lore, the best stories tend to begin with jackpot wins, steady nerves, or the occasional threat of murder. [Doyle Brunson](https://www.texasmonthly.com/the-culture/playing-no-limit-texas-hold-em/) has all those tall tales—and well get to them in due time. He has won millions while bluffing, stared down killers in parking lots, and pried his chips—quite literally—from the hands of death.
But this saga doesnt start there. Instead, it starts with Brunson in retreat.
It was May 1972 at Binions Horseshoe, in downtown Las Vegas. Tables were jammed together in an improvised poker room to seat eight players who had each bought in at $10,000 for a chance to win the third annual [World Series of Poker](https://www.texasmonthly.com/arts-entertainment/inside-the-world-series-of-poker/). Reporters crowded into the casino with their cameras and tape recorders, but it was nothing like the scene at todays WSOPs. This tournament wasnt broadcast on cable TV or treated like a sport. It wasnt even treated like a game. Texas Hold Em, now the most played poker variation in the world, had been in Vegas casinos less than a decade. In 1970 there had been only fifty poker tables in the entire city. This world series was a sideshow meant to drum up business for the casino, and the competitors were as strange as if Mark Twain characters had jumped off the page and found their way to the desert for a piece of the action. An article in the *Fort Worth Star-Telegram* described the event: “In the clockless world of gambling, peopled as it is with optimists, liars, fools and lunatics, it is the lot of the poker player to be set apart and regarded as a curiosity.”
One of those curiosities was Brunson, with his thick-rimmed glasses, his thinning hair, and his gut that hung over the table. He was perhaps the best player in the world, wielding a domineering strategy few had ever seen. Yet even the biggest poker fan wouldnt have known the name “Doyle Brunson” back then. He tried to avoid the reporters, and when he did speak with them, he used the pseudonym Adrian Doyle and said he came from Texas and that some people called him Texas Dolly. 
![Doyle Brunson at his Las Vegas home in June 2022.](https://img.texasmonthly.com/2022/06/Doyle-Brunson-Poker-Player-Las-Vegas-Portrait.jpg?auto=compress&crop=faces&fit=scale&fm=pjpg&h=1024&ixlib=php-1.2.1&q=45&w=819&wpsize=large)
Doyle Brunson at his Las Vegas home in June 2022. Photograph by Roger Kisby/REDUX Pictures
The field was whittled down one player after another, and, bit by bit, Brunson amassed a war chest of chips. Three players remained. Soon, a champion would be crowned. The crowd grew. The cameras flashed.
Thats when Brunson started to lose, folding each hand without even trying to win. Jack Binion, the casinos president, saw what was happening. He paused the game and marched the players into a private office, where he tore into Brunson.
“Youre going to cause a big scandal here,” Binion said. “You just cant do this.”
“Jack,” Brunson explained, “I just dont want the publicity.”
Back in Longworth, the tiny, conservative West Texas town where Brunson grew up, most folks thought he made an honest living. They knew him as the son of a farmer, a former state-champion athlete, and a masters graduate from a Baptist college. If they found out how he really spent his days, if they knew who he spent his time with, well—Brunson was worried that his entire family would be shunned.
And so Texas Dolly walked out of Binions office, across the casino floor, and out of the Horseshoe. Here was a man known to boast that he had once played poker for five straight days without sleeping. Now he claimed he was too tired, nauseated, and dizzy to even sit at the table.
As he turned his back on a world title, he told himself there would be other fortunes to win, other chapters of his legend to write. And maybe, one day, they would come without the guilt.
![Brunson with his winnings at the 1977 World Series of Poker.](https://img.texasmonthly.com/2022/06/Doyle-Brunson-Poker-Player-Las-Vegas-World-Series-1977-scaled.jpg?auto=compress&crop=faces&fit=scale&fm=pjpg&h=640&ixlib=php-1.2.1&q=45&w=1024&wpsize=large)
Brunson with his winnings at the 1977 World Series of Poker.Tony Korody/Sygma via Getty
Early one afternoon this March, Brunson steered a blue Cadillac Escalade off the Las Vegas Strip, skirting the Bellagios famous fountain on the way into the casinos north valet entrance. As he handed his keys to the attendant, the buzz began. It only intensified as he raced his mobility scooter across the marble floors, swerving around slot machines and ATMs and tourists. “Im afraid I drive like a NASCAR driver,” he says. 
Brunson is now 88, with a smooth, bald head under his signature white Stetson and eyes that seem stuck in a squint. He looks his age, but his bright smile still shimmers, and his belly laugh still thunders. He zipped into the poker area, and as he wove through the low-limit tables, players glanced up from their cards. They removed their earbuds, peered over their sunglasses, and gave their tablemates looks that betrayed their poker faces. He sped by them and headed straight into a private space at the back. Its called the Legends Room, and his picture hangs on the wall. He pulled up to his usual spot and greeted the regulars. He asked to be dealt in.
Here, the buzz crescendoed. You could understand the excitement. Watching Doyle Brunson play poker at the Bellagio is like watching Tiger Woods play Augusta—if you could buy in for a chance to tee off with Tiger at [Amen Corner](https://golf.com/news/everything-you-need-to-know-about-amen-corner-augusta-national/). 
Since his exit at the 1972 WSOP, Brunson has become nothing less than the most legendary poker player of all time. Name a seminal moment in the games past, and chances are he was sitting at the table. “He is the bridge between history and today,” says Daniel Negreanu, a past WSOP champion. Brunson has starred in just about every [poker TV show](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6htvdsIj9eI) ever aired—*High Stakes Poker,* *Poker After Dark,* and *Poker Superstars,* to name a few—and his how-to book, *[Super/System](https://www.amazon.com/Doyle-Brunsons-Super-System-Brunson/dp/1580420818),* is considered a bible of the game. He played in the very first WSOP, in 1970, just as he did in the events fifty-second installment, last year. Over the decades, the WSOP has grown into a massive production that dominates Vegas for six weeks during the summer and features 88 in-person events in multiple variations of poker, with thousands of players vying not only for money and bragging rights but also for the diamond-and-gold championship bracelets that are the games version of boxing title belts. The most famous of these competitions is the Main Event, a Hold Em showdown that airs on CBS Sports Network. Brunson has won the Main Event twice, in 1976 and 1977, and hes added eight other bracelets along the way. Only three other players have won multiple Main Events, and Brunson is tied with fellow all-time greats Phil Ivey and Johnny Chan for the second-most bracelets ever earned, with ten, behind only Phil Hellmuth, who has sixteen.
But Brunsons real reputation was born in games like this one: on a nondescript afternoon, in Vegas, behind closed doors, with as much as a million dollars in the pot. Brunson still plays cash games at least once a week, although many friends try to get him to the tables even more often. Until his eightieth birthday he played three hundred times a year, gambling all night and sleeping when the sun rose. “We used to bet all we had, day after day,” Brunson says in Al Alvarezs book *The* *Biggest Game in Town*. “And every other day we went broke.” 
These days, he tries to make it home before dinner; he says his wife, Louise, has already spent too many long nights worrying about him. Though nothing would be more worrisome than if Brunson quit cards altogether. “Im telling you, he will *die* if he stays home,” says Eli Elezra, a recent inductee to the Poker Hall of Fame and a frequent tablemate of Brunsons. 
> Brunson has never craved the spotlight, which not only goes against his nature, but also disrupts his strategy at the card table. “If I could, Id go back to being an anonymous poker player.”
Maybe so. During the height of the coronavirus pandemic, Brunson didnt play for nearly a year. In that time, he was hospitalized with pneumonia and, he says, suffered physical withdrawals from being away from the game. “I played so much that its just a part of my life,” he says. Without poker, Brunson felt dizzy, depressed, and lethargic. “Just like a dope fade.” 
“He needs the adrenaline. He needs the bad beat,” says Elezra, describing the jolt gamblers feel after their most crushing losses. “He needs it to live.” But Brunson has never craved the spotlight, which not only goes against his nature, but also disrupts his strategy at the card table. “If I could, Id go back to being an anonymous poker player,” he has said. In tournaments, competitors will go all in against him nearly every time, just so they can return home and tell their garage game buddies that they won a hand against Texas Dolly. “Most people have read \[my\] book,” he says, “and they always think Im bluffing.” 
Brunson claims hes done playing in the WSOP Main Event, that 2021 was his final run. The crowds have grown so thick and the fanfare so overwhelming that he can hardly get his scooter to his assigned table. But hes sworn off tournaments before, and that didnt stop him from joining last years contest. It wasnt his best showing, but expert observers say he did what he could in difficult situations. “Most players likely would have been gone much earlier,” wrote Jon Sofen for PokerNews. So perhaps this semiretirement is just one more bluff. 
The publics embrace of Brunson and of poker writ large is something he could hardly have imagined in 1972. When he sat down with another chance to win the Main Event in 1976, Brunson still coveted the approval of a society that had yet to accept professional gambling as much more than the province of eccentrics and degenerates. But by then he was done hiding. He decided right there to try to change how the world saw poker players. He won that year and the next, and the book, the press, and the TV appearances all followed.
That might have been Brunsons most impressive wager—as well as his most lasting contribution to the game. His charisma helped lift poker
from smoky back rooms to stages like the Bellagio: opulent, well lit, romantic, and made for TV. For decades, Hollywood rarely depicted poker outside of gangster movies and westerns; by the time *Rounders* was released, in 1998, *Super/System* appeared in one of the films opening shots and the voice-over name-checked Brunson three times. 
In the mid-aughts, Matt Damon, the star of that movie, joined Brunsons game at the Bellagio. He brought a pal: Leonardo DiCaprio.
As always, the onlookers were there, straining to see. And when a group finally approached to ask for photos and autographs, they ignored the Hollywood celebrities and went straight for Brunson.
![Brunson with Leonardo DiCaprio in Las Vegas in 2005.](https://img.texasmonthly.com/2022/06/Doyle-Brunson-Poker-Player-Leonardo-DiCaprio-Las-Vegas-2005-scaled.jpg?auto=compress&crop=faces&fit=scale&fm=pjpg&h=640&ixlib=php-1.2.1&q=45&w=1024&wpsize=large)
Brunson with Leonardo DiCaprio in Las Vegas in 2005.Denise Truscello/Getty
DiCaprio, Brunson says, “just played real tight,” meaning he wasnt aggressive. Brunson has plenty of other A-list gambling buddies and a curt scouting report on everyone from Cary Grant (“wasnt very good”) to Tobey Maguire (“on the professional level, almost”). He has golfed with Michael Jordan and was there when Willie Nelson lost a reported $400,000 in “high-stakes” dominoes. Last August, Senator Ted Cruz played a game with Brunson (“He was very good . . . He really talked to me a lot”). The respect was mutual. “Doyle Brunson is an all-time Texas great and a legendary poker player,” Cruz told *Texas Monthly*. “Hes a man of grace, charm, and incredible savvy insight. It was amazing—truly a bucket-list moment—when I had the honor to sit down and play poker with Texas Dolly himself.”
A few months ago, Brunson transferred most of his money to his children Pam and Todd (both are accomplished poker players themselves). He has earned more than $6 million in tournaments and has won and lost so many millions more in private games that even those who know him best struggle to estimate his career winnings. Poker players are famously tight-lipped when it comes to discussing their net worth, and Brunson is no different. He wont say why he gave away his fortune or how much remains; he just explains the decision with a shrug: “I dont know; I just did.”
Now he doesnt have the bankroll to play in the high-stakes, no-limit games that had long been his bread and butter. Instead, he plays what he calls “cheap poker,” where the minimum opening bet on each hand is $300. During a typical five-hour session, he says, he needs around $20,000 worth of chips just to get started. Cheap poker, indeed.
And yes, he still wins.
Decades ago, Brunson bought land in Northwest Montana, on Flathead Lake, and even when hes not visiting, he tries to keep the Big Sky with him. His car has Montana plates (along with a “Dont Mess With Texas” bumper sticker), and his phone number begins with a Montana area code. Just inside his lake houses entrance are two framed photos of him after his Main Event victories. Between them, a custom-made sign reads “A Long Way From Longworth.”
When Brunson was born, in 1933, Longworth was an unincorporated West Texas town with a population of around two hundred. There was a general store, a one-room elementary school, and two churches. The nearest city was Sweetwater, fifteen miles to the south. His family home didnt get electricity until after he turned six, and throughout Brunsons youth, it lacked indoor plumbing. The door to the outhouse creaked every time someone opened it. Railroad tracks cut through the cotton fields in the backyard, and often, around dinnertime, the wall-shaking rattle of a passing train was quickly followed by a knock on the back door. Hoboes knew that Brunsons mother, Mealia, would feed them a warm supper; all they had to do was jump from the boxcar and cross the rows of crops. After dinner, the next train would carry them along.
Brunsons father, John, seldom spoke and rarely gave his three children much attention. He ran the familys farm, and the kids grew up picking cotton by hand. They sold it for a penny a pound. Yet money never seemed to be an issue for the Brunsons. Somehow, John always seemed to have just enough.
Three other children Brunsons age lived in town, one girl and two boys. The trio of boys spent long afternoons playing baseball with one pitcher, one fielder, and one hitter, using a broomstick as a bat. They shot hoops on a dusty outdoor court where only Brunson appeared to be able to adjust his accuracy when the prairie wind blew. They swam in stock tanks and pretended to be cowboys.
Spend any amount of time with Brunson and its clear the man hates losing. That spirit was born on those slow afternoons in Longworth. In his memoir, *The Godfather of Poker*, Brunson calls himself a late bloomer in sports, but by the time he enrolled at Sweetwater High, he was a natural at everything he tried—except football, which his parents forbade him from joining. He was too small, they believed, at just five foot seven and 140 pounds. 
In track, his specialty was the mile, and he ran it fast enough to qualify for the state meet, in Austin. Radio stations carried the event live across Texas, and Brunsons father tuned in from Longworth. His boy would be challenging the previous years reigning champion and runner-up, both of whom were favorites to repeat. When the race began, the broadcaster mentioned only those two names, painting the picture of a neck-and-neck battle for first place. Johns heart sank. He would later tell his son, “I just figured you got down to that big meet and got outclassed.” 
> The games Brunson frequented in his prime could see each player win or lose half a million dollars only to come back and do it again the next day.
But soon, the voice cut through the radio again: “Well, ladies and gentlemen, it looks like this duel was all for second place. Doyle Brunson, from Sweetwater, is about fifty yards out in front, and it looks like hes gonna stay there.” Brunson was the 1950 state champion in the mile, with a time of 4:38.01.
But Brunsons main love was basketball. This was the late forties, shortly after the founding of the NBA, and the sport was so young that high school coaches in West Texas sometimes knew less about the game than their players did. Brunson mostly ignored the coaches at Sweetwater and instead cribbed his moves from the teams veterans. Before long, he had built himself into a star player—aided by a growth spurt that left him standing six foot two heading into junior year. He played guard and was considered one of the deadliest long-range shooters in Texas. He wore glasses on the court, and when defenders fouled him, the frames dug into his skin, leaving Brunsons eyebrows dotted with scars. 
In 1949 he led Sweetwater to the state tournament, and on the eve of the semifinals, he visited the hotel room of some classmates whod made the trip to Austin as fans. They were playing poker—Seven-Card Stud and Five-Card Draw—and they offered to teach Brunson. He had seen the game only in westerns. They bet dimes, then quarters, gambling deep into the evening. Brunson won a few dollars and headed back to his room around midnight.
Even now, he can recall specific hands from throughout his life with photographic accuracy, certain cards that won him millions and made him famous. He remembers that first game too. “Easy money,” he says in his memoir.
![Brunson at his Las Vegas home in June 2022.](https://img.texasmonthly.com/2022/06/Doyle-Brunson-Poker-Player-Las-Vegas-home-2.jpg?auto=compress&crop=faces&fit=scale&fm=pjpg&h=1024&ixlib=php-1.2.1&q=45&w=819&wpsize=large)
Brunson at his Las Vegas home in June 2022.Photograph by Roger Kisby/REDUX Pictures
They say nobody stays lucky in Las Vegas. On a typical day, the cash games that Brunson frequented in his betting prime could see each player win or lose half a million dollars only to come back and do it again the next. A few bad nights could leave anyone—even a champion—with nothing. Brunson says he once lost $6 million to a player named Chip Reese. Hes had hot streaks and cold streaks since then, but if overall winnings are the measure of success, you could say that Brunson has been getting lucky for more than half a century, in card rooms from Fort Worth to Macau and everywhere in between. 
“Nobody gets lucky consistently,” he says. You can win a few hands here and there with no real skill. You might even win an entire tournament that way. But grinding at a table day after day and coming out on top is a different story. In all the games hes played, Brunson has made a royal flush, the best hand in the game, just twice, and still, poker has been his primary source of income for 66 years. Besides the year in which he lost the $6 million, he says, he has never finished in the red.
The keys to his success hearken back to an earlier era of the game. Brunson does not wear dark sunglasses when he plays. He does not wear earbuds to block out noise, like many modern-day players do. Other competitors zip hoodies up to their eyes, hiding as much of their faces as possible from opponents adept at spotting tells—subtle giveaways of a gamblers mental state. “I think they should outlaw all that,” Brunson says. He prefers a purer game, wearing a button-down shirt, and sometimes a sports coat, with his white Stetson. He talks to others at his table. “I played with him a few months ago,” says Daniel Negreanu. “He feels like, to me, at eighty-eight, sharper than he did five years ago—like, *better*. Hes playing better now than he was a few years ago.”
Today, younger players prepare using computer algorithms that help determine exactly which hands to play and which to fold, as well as the precise amounts to bet based on probability. Brunson has studied these methods, but he believes he can beat the opponents who use them, and hes not the only one who thinks so. He might not win the first game against a new rival. It might take him a month, even a year, but eventually, hell find an edge. He has said he can catch opponents bluffing by watching their neck veins for signs of an increased heart rate. Against the new wave of analytical players, hell play erratically, betting hands a computer model would expect any sane person to fold just to throw off the competition. Poker historian Nolan Dalla says hes confident Brunson could beat a table full of amateurs without even looking at his cards. “Poker is a game of people,” Brunson often says. 
“Theres mathematics, theres fundamentals, theres strategic ways to approach different things,” Negreanu explains. “You can be studious and learn the game that way. What Doyle is talking about is adjusting his strategy to the person—playing the player. Understanding what kind of person hes dealing with, what types of things they like to do. Are they someone who likes to lie a lot and bluff? Or just someone who plays it straight? And when he knows that, he adapts the strategy. So hes playing the people. Hes always playing tendencies. Hes also adjusting based on Hows that person doing? Are they losing a lot? And if so, are they broken in their mind?’ ”
Brunson cant fully explain the hold gambling has on him, but the attraction has never wavered since that first poker game in an Austin hotel room. The Sweetwater basketball team lost the next morning, but Brunson performed well enough that the University of Texas offered him spots on the Longhorns basketball and track teams. Brunson wanted to accept, but he waited too long to fill out the paperwork, and by the time he was ready to apply, UT had allotted all its scholarships. Instead, Brunson landed at Hardin-Simmons University, a Baptist college in Abilene that competed in the Border Conference, which in those days counted Arizona, Arizona State, and Texas Tech among its members.
> On weekends hed travel to college towns to play poker. Lubbock, College Station, Austin—the bigger the school, the more fraternity brothers to fleece.
At Hardin-Simmons, Brunsons athletic scholarship included a $15 monthly stipend, what the school called “laundry money.” He used the cash to stake himself in late-night poker games with other undergrads—and also to wager on just about anything he could think of. Hed turn to friends and bet a dollar that he could throw a rock and hit a telephone pole. Five separate times, the schools disciplinary board called Brunson in to warn him about gambling.
Another student might have been expelled, but Brunson says his status as a star athlete saved him. On the track, his mile time kept dropping—all the way to 4:18. He was more serious about basketball, and in 1953, his junior year, he led the Cowboys to a conference championship over Arizona. That earned the school a spot in the NCAA Tournament and put Brunson on the NBAs radar. The Minneapolis Lakers sent scouts to Abilene, and they informed Hardin-Simmons coach that they planned to pick Brunson in the first round of the following years draft. Brunson thought his future was set. (Decades later, while sitting across a poker table from thenLakers owner Jerry Buss, Brunson asked if the franchise still had any scouting tape of his college games. “No,” Buss replied. “After fifty years, we throw them away.”)
The summer before his senior year, Brunson returned home to Longworth and found a job working with Sheetrock at the local gypsum plant. One day, while loading the material from a forklift to a truck, he noticed a stack starting to fall. Brunson rushed over and tried to catch it before it toppled over, but he couldnt stop the two-thousand-pound pile from falling on him. It crashed directly onto his right shin, snapping both his tibia and fibula. He collapsed, the exposed bone jutting out of his leg. A coworker covered him with a blanket, as if he were already dead.
“My God,” Brunson thought. “Ill never play basketball again.” 
He couldnt have known it then, but it might have been the first time in Brunsons life that he got truly lucky.
![Brunson with a broken leg during his senior year at Hardin-Simmons University in 1954.](https://img.texasmonthly.com/2022/06/Doyle-Brunson-Poker-Player-Basketball-Injury-1954.jpg?auto=compress&crop=faces&fit=scale&fm=pjpg&h=1024&ixlib=php-1.2.1&q=45&w=819&wpsize=large)
Brunson with a broken leg during his senior year at Hardin-Simmons University in 1954.Courtesy of Doyle Brunson
There was no money in basketball in the fifties; the average NBA players salary was a few thousand dollars. If hed gone on to play professionally, Brunson would have rushed to marry his college sweetheart, and, after basketball, he probably would have returned to West Texas to become a teacher—a principal, maybe.
That would have been an admirable outcome, and he probably would have been happy with it, but today, hes glad his injury sent him down a different path. Though when he was trapped in a white cast from foot to mid-thigh, he struggled to imagine any future at all. While he was still recovering, Brunson and some college friends got to talking about their long-range plans. They spoke of becoming writers and politicians; then they turned to Brunson. He told them he wanted to make a lot of money, and when they asked how, he replied, “I dont know.”
He enrolled in graduate school at Hardin-Simmons to buy some time, earning a dual masters degree in business and education. Without the distraction of sports, his grades improved, but he was broke. On weekends hed travel to college towns to play poker. Lubbock, College Station, Austin—the bigger the school, the more fraternity brothers to fleece. Almost always, he rode back to Abilene with their allowance money. “I could see that I was better than most of them,” he says, before issuing a swift correction. “Or all of them.”
After graduation, he considered teaching but wanted better pay, given his advanced degree. He took a job selling adding machines in Fort Worth. “I thought I would get a better job,” he says, still miffed that he received no more lucrative offers. “I wasnt a salesman.” On his first day, he walked up to a potential customer and launched into his pitch. “The guy just looked at me, turned around, and pointed at the door.” 
In seven months on the job, he failed to make a single sale—a harbinger of a cursed business sense that would follow him for the rest of his life. (Brunson has lost hundreds of thousands on investments over the years, from gold and emerald mines to teeth-cleaning chewing gum to expeditions aimed at raising the *Titanic* and discovering Noahs ark.) One day, while making his rounds, Brunson ran across a poker game in the back room of a pool hall. The first time he bought in, he “cleared a months salary in less than three hours.” It wasnt long before he ditched sales and decided to play poker full-time.
That Brunson had recently moved to Fort Worth was another stroke of fortune. In the mid-fifties, Fort Worths Jacksboro Highway and Exchange Avenue were dotted with colorful characters and dark rooms filled with card tables. Poker was illegal, but many of the games organizers cut deals with local police to allow them to operate. “Exchange Avenue was maybe the most dangerous street in America. There was nothing out there but thieves and pimps and killers,” Brunson says. “It was amazing.”
He started small, slowly figuring out strategies and developing his skills. He bet and bluffed against characters with names like “Treetop” Jack Straus, Corky McCorquodale, and Duck Mallard in games of Seven-Card Stud and Ace-to-Five Lowball. Elmer Sharp ran one game out of his garage near Jacksboro Highway, where he kept a live bear as a pet. When business was slow, Sharp would wrestle the animal. Brunson says he once played five straight days at Sharps, stopping only to eat, drink, and use the bathroom. Others drank heavily and popped pills to stay alert during these marathon sessions, but Brunson rarely got drunk and always avoided drugs. He ran on coffee and sweets.
Violence was a fact of life in Brunsons Fort Worth. “You never knew what would happen,” he writes in his memoir, “but you sure as heck knew something would.” He was arrested more times than he can count and carried a pistol with him at all times. When he went out to eat, he sat facing the door. In the middle of one game, near midnight, a man walked up to a player a table over from Brunson, put a gun to the back of the players head, and pulled the trigger. His brain splattered against the wall. Brunson still remembers his own cards when it happened—two pair, aces and sevens. He grabbed his chips and ran out the back, afraid not so much of the shooting as of the police, and hid in an ice-cold creek until the situation cooled down. 
In another incident, while playing a private game of Ace-to-Five Lowball, a poker variation in which the object is to have the five lowest cards, Brunson noticed that every time he [bluffed](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFc3rYcKLjI), his opponent, a man named Red Dodson, would fold. Brunson was making a killing, and so, once again, he bet big. Only this time, Dodson bet with him. “I know yall have been bluffing me all night,” Dodson said. “Lets see what you do now.”
Dodson turned his cards over, grinning. He had the second-best hand in the game: an ace, two, three, four, and six. There was no way he could lose—or so he thought. When Brunson revealed his cards, Dodson stared in horror at an ace, two, three, four, and five—the best hand possible. “Reds face turned white, his eyes rolled back, and he started turning blue,” Brunson writes. “Red fell out of his chair and was dead before he hit the floor.” While they waited for the paramedics to arrive, Brunson collected the pot. “I felt bad,” he writes, “but thats poker, and bad beats happen.” 
When Brunson went home for the holidays in 1957, his father asked him and his brother if they wanted to play some poker. Brunson was surprised. Hed been unaware his father even knew how to play. There was no money on the table—they bet only matchsticks—and Brunson did his best to play like a casual gambler. His competitive side couldnt take losing, though, and he tried a bluff. His dad saw right through it. “How in the world would you call that?” Brunson asked. Unimpressed, his father replied, “Ive been seeing plays like that for forty years.” As it turned out, hed put Brunsons brother and sister through college with winnings from Sweetwater poker games.
Brunson never told his father the truth of what he did for work. He never got the chance. John died just a year after that game, and Brunson still thinks of him. “I was always hoping hed ask about what I was doing, give me a kind word about something,” he writes. “I suppose Id even have settled for being yelled at.” Maybe poker could have finally brought them together. He wonders now if he inherited a “poker gene,” something in his blood that calls him to the tables night after night—the same longing that called his father too.
![Brunson playing in the 1979 World Series of Poker (second from right) at Binions Horseshoe.](https://img.texasmonthly.com/2022/06/Doyle-Brunson-Poker-Player-Las-Vegas-World-Series-1979-Binions.jpg?auto=compress&crop=faces&fit=scale&fm=pjpg&h=1024&ixlib=php-1.2.1&q=45&w=819&wpsize=large)
Brunson playing in the 1979 World Series of Poker (second from right) at Binions Horseshoe.UNLV Libraries Special Collections
Nobody is quite sure where or how [Texas Hold Em](https://www.pokernews.com/news/2017/04/poker-pop-culture-047-mystery-texas-holdem-history-27558.htm) originated. Some say it was invented by cowboys who were short on cards and had to improvise to include more players. In 2007 the Texas Legislature recognized Robstown, outside Corpus Christi, as the games founding place, but reliable details are murky. Dallas gamblers supposedly adopted the variation in the twenties. We do know that in the fifties, Hold Em—or, as it was also known, Hold Me Darling or F— Em—was hardly synonymous with poker like it is today. In 1958, when he traveled to a private card room in Granbury, forty miles south of Fort Worth, Brunson had never heard of Hold Em. But he knew that the man running the game drank too much and bet high. He smelled opportunity.
In Granbury, Brunson asked the regulars to explain the rules. “I grasped the correct strategy right away,” he writes. “Play big cards and use position as my two big weapons.”
In retrospect, that night might be considered Hold Ems big bang; its as far back as the record goes. Still, it would be another decade before Brunson and other Texas gamblers brought Hold Em to Vegas, and when they did, it wasnt to spread the good word about a challenging style of poker. It was to clean out some suckers. The Texans knew how to win at Hold Em, and the Vegas gamblers did not. “I went seven years without losing in a big poker game,” says Brunson. “All the wise guys thought I was cheating, which I wasnt. It was just that the competition was so easy.”
As he traveled from game to game, Brunson met fellow gamblers “Amarillo Slim” Preston, a wisecracking rancher, and Bryan “Sailor” Roberts, named for a stint in the Navy. They became fast friends, joining forces to form a barnstorming big three of Texas gambling. They would bet on anything and everything — both with and against one another. During a road trip through Mexico, Brunson looked out of their station wagon at the Sierra Madres. “Doyle,” said Roberts, “how long you think it would take you to shinny up that mountain?”
Brunson took stock of the situation. “Oh, I could climb it in two hours easy,” he said. Right then, the car skidded to a stop, they each put up $2,000, and Brunson was off to the races. In Slims recollection, Brunson “shinnied up that mountain like a mountain goat on a mission.” Even with his bad leg, he beat the time, and Roberts was so frustrated when Brunson arrived back at the station wagon that he refused to hand Brunson the money. He threw it on the floorboard instead, and Brunson just let it lie there, where it stayed as they drove off in search of their next wager.
> When Louise asked Brunson what he did for work, he told her he was a bookmaker. She thought he said “bookkeeper.” It would be months before she realized her mistake.
The trio found strength in numbers, playing from a single bankroll so a bad night wouldnt leave one of them broke. They watched one anothers backs, although they still got robbed occasionally. They arranged themselves throughout the room to spot cheaters, although they themselves never cheated. (“If I needed to, I might have,” says Brunson.) Most important, they helped one another study the game; after long nights of gambling, they would replay critical hands back at their hotel. Theyd go through deck after deck, working out a rough understanding of the probabilities that certain hands would lead to wins. Players today use powerful computers; Brunson and his friends grasped the odds through brute repetition.
One day, Brunson was with Roberts at the Dixie Club, in San Angelo, when he noticed a woman dancing to country music. He found out she was a pharmacist named Louise. They danced. He asked her to coffee. She said no. The next day, Brunson went to the pharmacy, pretending he needed vitamins, so that he could talk with her. He kept coming back, every time under a different pretense, and he says it wasnt long before he had bought nearly every item in the store. “She sold me toys, vitamins, multivitamins, aspirin, everything,” he writes. “I bought every contraption she recommended.” He never quite won her over, though, and Brunson gave up until months later, when he saw her out with another man. Brunson winked, and Louise waved back. “Well, maybe Ive still got a shot,” he thought. So he went back to the pharmacy and asked her to dinner. This time, she said yes.
When Louise asked Brunson what he did for work, he told her he was a bookmaker. She thought he said “bookkeeper.” It would be months before she realized her mistake. By then, it didnt matter. She was in love. 
They married in 1962 at a funeral home in La Marque, across the bay from Galveston. Brunsons brother-in-law worked there, and in any case, he says, “the chapel was lovely.” A few days earlier, when Louise was waiting to head to the courthouse for their marriage license, it was Roberts who arrived to accompany her instead of Brunson. Her groom was at a poker game, and he was winning. They figured Roberts could stand in his place. Besides, as Brunson remembers, “we needed the money.”
Downtown Las Vegas looks today like something out of *Blade Runner*. Fremont Street, less than ten miles north of the Strip, used to be where the towns biggest gamblers lorded over the action at casinos like the Golden Nugget and Benny Binions Horseshoe. The area has since been redeveloped as an outdoor mall and promenade, where pop music pulses from speakers and a [massive LED screen](https://vegasexperience.com/viva-vision-light-show/) arches over the street like an artificial, electric-pink-and-orange sky. 
The Horseshoe is still there, although its now called Binions. Inside, the ceilings are low, and the air is stale with nicotine. The flashing lights and electronic bleeps of slot machines are everywhere, and only three framed photos on the wall behind the cashiers cage are left to commemorate the casinos status as the birthplace of the World Series of Poker. Brunson appears in two of them, one that features him and the late poker pro Stu Ungar seated at the 1980 events final table and another in which hes shaking hands with broadcaster Brent Musburger. The poker tables at Binions have closed during the pandemic, and as one cashier says, “I dont know if theyre gonna come back.” 
Vegas constantly erases its own history. Harrahs Entertainment bought the rights to the WSOP in 2004, and in doing so, the company acquired the Horseshoe name. This summers WSOP has already begun at the Ballys casino complex on the Strip, which is in the process of being renovated and rebranded as the Horseshoe. The Main Event will start July 3. At the opening press conference, organizers were keen to highlight the old Horseshoe as the WSOPs birthplace, but the glitzy, corporate air of the endeavor had little in common with the spirit of the original casino or its boss, Benny Binion.
Binion was a [Dallas crime boss](https://www.texasmonthly.com/news-politics/benny-and-the-boys/) who had already been convicted of one homicide and charged with two more by the time he moved to Vegas. He left Texas in 1946—“My sheriff got beat in the election,” he said—and headed to Nevada with $2 million stuffed inside a pair of suitcases. There, he bought the Horseshoe and turned it into a no-frills paradise for gamblers. Binions casino would take any bet, without limits, and the house always paid. The Sombrero Room restaurant served beef from his ranch in Montana and poured bowls of spicy chili using a recipe that Binion had learned from a lawman who had been part of the team that ambushed Bonnie and Clyde and who used to cook for inmates in the Dallas jail. Binion looked out for other Texans in Vegas, and when Brunson moved to the city, in 1973, Binion took him under his wing. They ate lunch together most days, often with the mayor and other local power players.
Brunsons connection to Binion also gave him protection during a period in which rival syndicates clashed over their cuts of nearly every dollar won, lost, earned, or stolen in Vegas. When Brunson arrived, the citys most vicious gangster was Tony “the Ant” Spilotro, who, according to some accounts, committed at least two dozen murders and who inspired Joe Pescis character in *Casino*. Word eventually reached Brunson that Spilotro wanted 25 percent of his winnings. The next time they saw each other, Brunson asked why he should accept those terms. 
“If you dont like it,” Spilotro said, “Ill stick twelve ice picks in that big fat gut of yours.” 
“You cant kill everyone,” Brunson told the mobster at a subsequent meeting.
“I wont have to kill everyone,” Spilotro said. “Just the first one.”
Despite the threats, Spilotro never laid a hand on Brunson, who says the only reason hes still alive is because Spilotro knew better than to cross Benny Binion. For his part, Brunsons participation helped Binion and his son, Jack, launch the inaugural World Series of Poker. That title didnt mean much—at the time, demand for the game was so scarce that many Vegas casinos lacked poker rooms. The event wound up being more convention than tournament. The Binions invited the best three dozen players in the world, many of whom were Texan, to play different variations of poker over several days and then vote on the overall champion. It wasnt until the following year that the tournament adopted an elimination format. The Binions liked the event because it brought people into the casino. Players such as Brunson liked it because it made for easy pickings in side games with tourists who wanted to try their luck against pros.
> Brunson got a ten and a two. “Its one of the worst hands you can be dealt,” Negreanu says. “Absolute trash.” But Brunson sensed that Alto didnt have anything either.
In 1976 Brunson made it back to the final table for the first time since he had conceded the title four years earlier. This time, he played to win. It was down to him and a gambler from Houston, Jesse Alto. Brunson chipped away at Altos stack, wearing him down little by little until Brunson finally won a big hand. Brunson knew that Alto tended to get impatient after losing big and thought, “If I can win the next hand, I might break him.”
The dealer slid the men their cards, and Brunson turned up a ten and a two. “Its one of the worst hands you can be dealt,” Negreanu says. “Its absolute trash.” But Brunson had a feeling that Alto didnt have anything either. When Alto bet, Brunson called.
The flop—three communal cards for either player to use in his hand—showed an ace, jack, and ten, giving Brunson a pair of tens. Alto bet again, and even though Brunsons pair wasnt much, he decided to play out his hunch. He called. The dealer turned over a two, giving Brunson two pair. Alto looked across the table, trying to read Brunsons mind. Brunson stared back and noticed the shadows beneath his opponents eyes. He had him.
He pushed enough chips into the middle to force Alto to go all in with the rest of his stack. Alto called.
“Whatve you got?” Brunson asked.
Alto flipped over an ace and a jack, giving him the stronger two-pair hand. Brunson showed his ten-deuce and said, “Youve got me beat.”
But they still hadnt seen the final card—the “river”—and if that were either a ten or a two, Brunson could still win. The odds against that happening stood at eleven to one.
The dealer flipped the card. Ten of diamonds. Brunson had won the Main Event.
The next year, he was back at the final table, and the winning hand followed an almost identical script. Brunson had been working his opponent, Gary “Bones” Berland, and figured he had him on the ropes. He started with the same exact hand: ten-deuce. The communal cards gave Brunson two pair, and he bet before the dealer turned over the “river.” Berland went all in. The final card showed a ten, giving Brunson a full house and making the back-to-back champion a bona fide poker superstar.
To this day, the ten-deuce is known as the “Doyle Brunson.”
Today Brunsons home office is full of stacks of documents, photos, and books that pile on his desk, around the floor, and under the window. A documentary crew is working on a film about his life, and hes been sorting through photos for them. In the middle of it all is his computer, where he keeps Twitter open to interact with fans. Early one afternoon this spring, a new tweet popped up on his screen, and he leaned forward in his chair to see it. “Didnt @TexDolly teach us that \[ace-king\] is a drawing hand?” He smiled as he read it.
Somewhere among the papers is an old journal of Brunsons. He calls it his Book of Miracles, and it contains ten entries, ten moments that he can explain in no other way than divine intervention. 
Brunson wasnt always religious. In 1982 his daughter Doyla died from a heart condition at only eighteen years old, and he left poker for a year. He contemplated suicide. Somewhere in the grief, he started to explore spirituality. He studied Buddhism and Hinduism but eventually came back to the Bible. “I could see,” he explains, “Well, this thing is true.’ ” One of his old basketball teammates had become a minister and flew to Las Vegas to console Brunson. They prayed together, and soon, many of the poker pros in Vegas were joining them. “Id see poker games just break up with a million dollars on the table,” he says, “and everybody goes, Well, we gotta go to Bible study.’ ”
Brunsons miracles range from the unlikely to the truly inexplicable. One recounts a time Louise was driving in rural Montana and her car broke down. Suddenly, out in the middle of nowhere, a man appeared and fixed the vehicle; when Louise turned around to thank him, he had disappeared. “What else could it have been except an angel?” Brunson says.
Another is from 1963. Brunson woke up with a blueberry-size growth on his neck. After a week, it was as big as a lime. His brother had died of melanoma, so Brunson rushed to the hospital. Diagnostic tests confirmed Brunsons fears, and later, when surgeons operated on him to remove the cancer, they saw that it had spread. They excised everything they could, but they kept finding more. There was no use trying to remove it all; the doctors said he had three months to live. Louise was pregnant with their first child, and she prayed that hed survive long enough to see the birth.
> For all the good fortune recounted in his Book of Miracles, poker doesnt earn a mention. Brunson never needed luck to win a card game.
They sought a second opinion at MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston, where surgeons proposed a potentially lifesaving procedure but warned that Brunson might die on the operating table. He took the bet. Friends visited and said their goodbyes. Louise prayed more. But when the doctors opened Brunson up, the cancer was nowhere to be found. “I dont know how to explain it,” he says. “I didnt appreciate it at the time, but the more things that happened that I did start seeing, I went, Well, good night. Maybe there is some kind of calling—I dont know.’ ”
Brunson had told Louise that if he got healthy, hed stop gambling and find a real job to provide for their daughter. Poker was fun, but if he got another chance at life, he would dedicate it to family. He swore to do something respectable. 
Once he recovered, though, he felt as if he were living on borrowed time. His brush with death had convinced him that life was too fragile to spend behind a desk. After all, he already knew how to support his family from behind a stack of chips.
He kept playing, and his bets grew more aggressive than ever. The strategy worked—he won 54 games in a row. “It was so uncanny it got to be a joke,” he writes in his memoir. That winning streak paid off all of his medical debt.
Brunsons Book of Miracles describes other medical marvels, like when Louise survived a uterine tumor, and when Doyla overcame a debilitating spine condition. Yet for all the good fortune recounted in those pages, poker doesnt earn a mention. Brunson never needed luck to win a card game. 
![Brunson saluting the crowd after his final hand at the 2018 WSOP.](https://img.texasmonthly.com/2022/06/Doyle-Brunson-Poker-Player-Las-Vegas-World-Series-2018-scaled.jpg?auto=compress&crop=faces&fit=scale&fm=pjpg&h=640&ixlib=php-1.2.1&q=45&w=1024&wpsize=large)
Brunson saluting the crowd after his final hand at the 2018 WSOP.Drew Amato/Courtesy of PokerGO
Brunson says he wants to live until hes 102—his way of honoring the poker hand that bears his name. Around the time he turned 70, though, he realized hed better get trim if he wanted to last that long. He had grown so heavy that while playing a game in 2003, he struggled to get up from the table. The group hed been sitting with told him he needed to lose weight, and he replied that he needed to lose a hundred pounds. They asked if he wanted to bet on whether he could do it, and Brunson couldnt say no to the action. They gave him ten-to-one odds and two years to shed the hundred pounds. Brunson put up $100,000. If he won, hed be paid back $1 million.
The first year, Brunson didnt lose an ounce. The following year, months passed, and Brunson still hadnt lost any weight. But then he went on a diet, and the weight flew off. He might have a shot at that million after all. For the remaining months, he stuck to a strict diet of catfish with Parmesan cheese. With a few weeks to go, the group gathered again. Brunson was down 98 pounds by then, so he offered them a deal. Hed give them 2 percent off if theyd pay him two pounds early. That night, they paid Brunson $980,000, and when they all sat down to play poker after dinner, Brunson lost every cent.
Weight has been a struggle for Brunson for most of his adult life, made worse by mobility challenges that have hounded him ever since he broke his leg in college. During another weight-loss attempt, he tried detoxing at a health center. On his first day there, the staff drew some blood for testing. The next, they drew some more. When they called him into the doctors office on the third day, nearly every professional from the clinic was there waiting. “Your cholesterol is less than one hundred,” a doctor explained to him. “We have people down here that eat nothing but raw vegetables and fruit trying to get their cholesterol down to where yours is. And we were just interested in what you eat.”
“I eat everything,” Brunson replied.
The doctors were stunned—on top of everything else, Brunson had also won the genetic lottery. “Your body must be programmed to live one hundred and twenty-five years, as badly as youve treated it,” they told him.
Brunson will keep playing as long as that body will let him. If you ask how hes done it for so long, he wont talk about betting strategy or even mention poker at all. “I come from a long line of livers,” hell tell you. Its like an old saying of his, one he repeated in the opening credits of the NBC show *Poker After Dark*: “We dont stop playing because we get old. We get old because we stop playing.”
And so, at least once a week, the excitement begins anew inside the Bellagio. Brunson enters through the north valet and heads straight to the Legends Room. Just outside, on the walls leading to the administrative offices, hangs a painting of a poem with the title “The Legend of Texas Dolly” written across the top. The canvas has been up long enough that many casino employees dont know who made it or how it got there. “I know its not something were going to take down,” says Mike Williams, the Bellagios director of poker operations. The poem is decorated with playing cards and a photo of Brunson smiling in his cowboy hat. The final stanza goes like this:
> In poker gamescross this land, by golly
>
> They gun for him, but its all pure folly
>
> For tho he holds only ten-deuce
>
> All your chips youll turn loose
>
> Because that is the Legend 
>
> Of Texas Dolly.
*Joe Levin is a writer based in Austin. He was once the top-ranked amateur competitive eater in Texas.*
*This article originally appeared in the July 2022 issue of* Texas Monthly *with the headline “Original Gambler.”* [*Subscribe today*](https://www.texasmonthly.com/subscribe/?ref=end-article)*.*
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# Babies and chicks help solve one of psychologys oldest puzzles
**What is in our head** before experience begins to shape it through learning? Humans seem to possess an implicit knowledge of physical objects as complete, connected, solid bodies that persist even when they are not visible and that maintain their identity through time. Humans also seem to implicitly know that certain kinds of objects (such as other people or other animals) exhibit actions that are special, in that they are directed towards goals. What is the origin of this implicit and intuitive core knowledge, the sort of things we know about the properties of physical objects (known as naive physics) and psychological objects (naive psychology)? Is it present from birth a product of evolution or is it acquired through experience?
Studies on this subject sometimes involve human newborns, though there are limitations to the kinds of research that can be done with them. This is partly because humans behavioural repertoire soon after birth is quite restricted. There are obvious ethical limitations as well: one would not think of raising human newborns under sensory deprivation, for example, in order to answer scientific questions. Using animal models in addition to human studies offers a way to address these limitations. When were studying the origins of knowledge, the ideal model should combine some degree of sensory and motoric abilities at birth (eg, eyes open, able to walk), to facilitate cognitive testing, in addition to the possibility of accurate control of what the animal experiences before and soon after birth (to better determine whether certain behaviour is innate or learned). Precocial animals such as ducklings or chicks give us such a model.
Chicks need to actively explore and learn about their environment from the moment they hatch. Therefore, they learn very rapidly to identify and attach to their mother and siblings. For a long time, this imprinting process has been considered a form of exposure learning that is devoid of any constraints. In 1935, Martina the goose famously [imprinted](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22363967/) on the zoologist Konrad Lorenz a very implausible mother. However, more recent research has shown that newly hatched chicks are not _tabulae rasae_: they hatch with predispositions to attend to, and thus to imprint on, particular kinds of stimuli. Before they have ever seen a mother hen, chicks [prefer](https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0222079) to approach objects that roughly resemble the shape of a mother hen, as originally [shown](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0003347288801507) by the neurobiologist Gabriel Horn and his colleagues. In my lab, we [found](https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1467-7687.2009.00914.x) that the configuration of the mothers head features can be reduced to just an ovoid outline that contains three high-contrast blobs arranged as an inverted triangle a sort of emoticon with eyes and beak/mouth.
Our findings suggest that the cortical route specialised for face processing is already functional at birth
The same kind of preference was subsequently discovered in human neonates, as the cognitive neuroscientist Mark Johnson and colleagues [showed](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/0010027791900456?via%3Dihub), based on the newborns eye gaze. Recently, my team [used](https://www.pnas.org/content/116/10/4625) EEG to measure electrical activity in the brains of newborns as they saw face-like, inverted face-like, or scrambled face-like configurations, and we found impressive selectivity of response to the first pattern. That is, we observed a significantly stronger change in our measure of cortical activity in response to the upright face-like stimuli, as compared with the other stimuli. We also revealed the involvement of cortical areas that overlap with the adult face-processing circuit. Our findings suggest that the cortical route specialised for face processing is already functional at birth.
Of course, given that the sights and sounds these human infants are exposed to are not controlled _immediately_ after birth (as they can be in the case of chicks), one could argue that quick learning is taking place namely that just a few hours of exposure to the real faces of the mother and other human beings might suffice to trigger the preference. But I doubt this is so, for we found that the preference is stronger for _younger_ babies than for older ones. Our babies were 70 hours old on average, which means some of them were a few hours old at the time of testing while others were older. The fact that longer exposure to natural faces seemed to, if anything, decrease the preference for face-like stimuli suggests that the preference is elicited based on an abstract template of a face, devoted to attracting the attention of newborns towards this class of stimuli.
![](https://d2e1bqvws99ptg.cloudfront.net/user_image_upload/1807/Insert-template.jpg)
Drawings by Claudia Losi from the book _Born Knowing_ (2021) by Giorgio Vallortigara, published by MIT Press.
These findings make clear the importance of parallel studies in the nonhuman animal model and in humans. Human studies provide evidence that the mechanisms for attending to face-like stimuli are at work in the newborns of our species. And the chick studies provide evidence that animals can possess these mechanisms from the very beginning of life.
**At roughly the same time** that Horn discovered the preference of newly hatched chicks for the head region of the mother hen, I was dwelling on another issue: are chicks attracted by _any_ kind of motion, or do they prefer the motion of their own species for imprinting? With my collaborators, I [used](https://journals.plos.org/plosbiology/article?id=10.1371/journal.pbio.0030208) what are called point-light displays, stimuli in which only small points of light representing the joints of an animal are visible, which disentangles purely motion-related information from shape-related information. Chicks did prove to have a preference for biological motion, but not a species-specific one. For instance, they were ready to approach a display resembling a moving cat (or any other creature), though not a bunch of points of light moving randomly or rigidly.
In further fascinating research, the developmental psychologist Francesca Simion used our stimuli point-light displays representing walking chickens and [found](https://www.pnas.org/content/105/2/809), by measuring looking times, that human newborns exhibit a similar preference for biological motion. Note that these babies did not have any experience with moving chickens in the few hours before the test! These results seem to suggest that the ability to recognise biological motion is independent of experience, just as the same seems to be true for the basic ability to recognise face-like stimuli.
Its interesting to note that these life-detecting abilities appear to wax and wane as babies age. For instance, the preference for biological motion seems to vanish at one and two months of age in human infants, and then to reappear by three months. A likely explanation is that, at birth, animals possess innate mechanisms that act in a reflex-like manner, serving to direct their attention to relevant stimuli in the environment, such as caregivers. Then a second mechanism, based on learning, might take precedence, allowing more specific recognition ie, the face of Mom as opposed to a stranger, or the movement of ones own species as opposed to generic biological motion, and so on.
We were able to identify tiny regions selectively involved in the preference for face-like stimuli and for changes of speed
The existence of these mechanisms at birth should influence our understanding of the origins of knowledge, for it clearly challenges the view of our newborn minds as blank slates. This is true for human babies as well as other species. Most young vertebrates appear to be endowed with general mechanisms to detect, at birth, the presence of animate creatures. The animacy detectors for which we have found evidence [extend](https://www.pnas.org/content/107/9/4483) to a [preference](https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/desc.12394) for self-propelling objects, as opposed to inert objects that move after being hit by another object. Human neonates and newly hatched chicks have also [demonstrated](https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-020-79451-3) [preferences](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0010027716302049) for objects moving with abrupt changes in speed, and for objects that [move](https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2018-05047-013) along their major (anterior-posterior) body axis all these characteristics, again, being distinctive features of animate entities.
With newly hatched chicks, we have been able to search for where in the brain these animacy detectors reside, at a level that would be impossible with human subjects. By analysing the expression of so-called early genes (which guide the production of certain proteins that can be made visible by colouring them in the cells) we were able to identify tiny regions selectively involved in the preference for [face-like stimuli](https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-019-46322-5) (the nucleus taenia, which is homologous to the lateral part of the mammalian amygdala) and for [changes of speed](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0306452217302804) (the lateral septum, a brain area that has remained mostly the same in different classes of vertebrates such as mammals and birds).
**The animacy detectors we have** identified so far can be considered as the most basic bricks for building up a social brain. The similarities between babies and chicks suggest that these detectors are evolutionarily old, possibly [inherited](https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-020-60154-8) by early social vertebrates. They allow young organisms to learn quickly by canalising their interest towards those portions of the environment that are most important for survival. Consider a young chick out of the egg: there are a variety of moving things around, and, if it were expected to learn simply through exposure, the chance of errors and wasted time would be huge. Instead, it seems that animacy detectors direct the animals attention towards things that move semi-rigidly and with abrupt changes of speed, thus favouring learning by imprinting on biological things (hopefully, the mother hen and siblings, and not a passing cat). Similarly, it would take too much time and risk to learn purely through trial and error what is a face and what is not. Thus, organisms are likely endowed by natural selection with a mechanism that directs their attention to face-like stimuli.
![](https://d2e1bqvws99ptg.cloudfront.net/user_image_upload/1810/Insert-bird-.jpg)
Drawing by Claudia Losi from the book _Born Knowing_ (2021) by Giorgio Vallortigara, published by MIT Press.
What if these animacy detector mechanisms were for some reason diminished or delayed? We know of developmental disorders with genetic bases that might represent such conditions. Autism spectrum disorders (ASDs) are an example. The diagnosis of ASD cannot be performed before two to three years of age, and we know that an early diagnosis would be extraordinarily valuable, enabling prompt psychological and social interventions. Differences in animacy detection could potentially be of aid in such a diagnosis. Using the behavioural techniques we developed for animacy detection, we tested newborns with an increased likelihood of ASD (ie, those who have an older sibling diagnosed with ASD). We [found](https://www.nature.com/articles/srep26395) that these newborns appeared to have deficits in animacy detectors for face-like and biological-motion stimuli, based on looking time. It seems likely that there is a delay in their appearance, as some [evidence](https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-021-95418-4) for canonical preferences does emerge in these babies, but later on, at about four months. A delay in the development of animacy detectors could potentially affect the mutual interaction between an infant and a mother, but more research would be needed to test that hypothesis.
A reasonable interpretation of all these findings is that, although babies can certainly learn a lot about their environment by interacting with objects, both physical and social, they seem to be aided in doing so by inborn mechanisms that guide and constrain their inferences a form of implicit knowledge about the world. In the absence of inborn guiding mechanisms, learning would likely take vastly too long. So we should expect the operation of such mechanisms from the time of birth, and more of them in those species such as humans that depend so deeply on learning.

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# Bad Faith at Second Mesa
![](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5a238ba10abd049ac5f4f02c/1dbf896b-aebf-4eb2-a9ec-84f90e6396c9/Bad+Faith.png)
## After swiping sacred American Indian artifacts three archeology thieves believe they are being hunted down by spirits of vengeance.
*Disclaimer: This story contains language sensitive to the Hopi people.*
**Shungopavi, Arizona**
**Summer 1978**
The cave was small, hidden by rocks and the graceful wall of sandstone that climbed toward Shungopavi village. If the sun had been just a little higher in the sky, the two lanky, white men at the base of Second Mesa (the area encompassing three Hopi villages) might have missed it altogether. 
Theyd been exploring the outskirts of the Hopi reservation for hours, picking their way between cacti and milkweed while avoiding the eyes of any children who might be playing atop the tall, flat-topped hill that sat like an island in the Arizona desert. Rewards thus far had been slim, and they were almost ready to call it a day. But the sun was setting, and its waning light revealed an unnatural divot in the stone.
![](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5a238ba10abd049ac5f4f02c/c2b10a5d-8050-4ade-a029-23ab89fda221/Light+in+rock.jpg)
“Climb up and see,” Randall “Randy” Morris, age 21, urged his friend James “Jimmy” Lee Hinton. Jimmy, a rangy 22-year-old archeology student at Glendale Community College, braced his hands against the rocks and hefted himself up for a closer look. The stones blocking the entrance had clearly been placed there to deflect attention; Jimmy moved a few aside and nearly stumbled back down the slope.
“Randy,” he called, his gaze still fixed on the cave, heart thudding fast. “Were going to need the car.”
Inside the cave were four gnarled figurines carved from cottonwood root, each about three feet long. Three lay on a mat of feathers with their heads pillowed by a log, surrounded by braided prayer bracelets and prayer sticks made of cotton twine. The fourth, twisted like a figure eight, leaned against the sandstone wall as if protective of the others. Jimmy didnt know exactly what he was looking at, except that it was one hell of a find: a hidden kiva, or prayer house, of katsina (pronounced “kah-TSEE-nah”) dolls, the sacred objects carved to represent spiritual beings in the Hopi religion—and in some cases, far more than represent.
But to the two pothunters, these four idols represented something else entirely. Thanks to the growing appetites of museums and private collectors, the antiquities market in the 1970s was booming. Well-decorated Sikyatki pots could sell for thousands of dollars—the equivalent of $50,000 or more today. Whatever these dolls were, Jimmy was confident theyd pay him better than a part time shift on an Arizona ranch.
The idols were large, though, and the cave was awkwardly situated. Shrieks and laughter tumbled down from the village where children played in the fading light. If they looked off the side of the mesa, theyd see him. Jimmy, tan and black-haired, could pass for Hopi at a distance, but Randy was much fairer skinned; anyone who noticed the pair poking around the rocks would likely think they are thieves.
Jimmy skidded back down the hillside and ushered Randy back where theyd left the car. Sweat soaked his headband as he described his find, not lingering on the feather bed or the careful arrangement of the figures. Those details troubled Jimmy a little, and he thought they would trouble Randy more. Bad enough that Randy was traveling with his wife, whod stayed behind in nearby Winslow; unlike Jimmys wife, who at least understood the value of quick cash, she wasnt a fan of pothunting. The last thing Jimmy needed was more fuel for Randys guilty conscience.
Soon it was agreed. They would return later, when Shungopavi was descending into sleep.
![](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5a238ba10abd049ac5f4f02c/a3e7c7f9-3148-4c99-8f11-5babda66f62c/Second+Mesa.png)
*Second Mesa (photo by Reinhard Schön)*
Only one road cut through the Hopi reservation: Arizona State Route 264, a two-lane stretch of asphalt that ran from Tuba City, Arizona to the New Mexico state line. As twilight approached that evening, Jimmy and Randy parked their Chevrolet Vega hatchback alongside this highway a few miles away from Second Mesa, not wanting their headlights to attract attention.
Northern Arizona by night was a different animal. While not the official Big Sky Country, the sky above Hopi lands stretched out across the state without borders or light pollution. On cloudless nights, sneaking around was nearly impossible unless you kept low to the ground, slipping through the desert like a rattlesnake. But this was not Jimmy and Randys first rodeo. The looters brought small flashlights but kept them off on the way to the cave, relying on moonlight to avoid walking into a spiny patch of cholla or tripping on somethings burrow.
When they reached the mesa, Jimmy used his penlight to locate the patch of cliff hed scrambled up earlier that day. This time Randy went first, Jimmy close at his heels. The cave seemed larger in the dark. Deeper. Their narrow shafts of light illuminated such a tiny piece of that open mouth, casting the idols in blacker shadow.
The standing doll no longer struck Jimmy as vigilant. Now it looked downright baleful to him, glaring at the men as they invaded its peace. Jimmy quickly averted his gaze as Randy grabbed the first of the sleeping figurines and handed it down. (Not sleeping, he told himself. They were only carved pieces of cottonwood root.) Randy saved the standing idol for last, and Jimmy hesitated a moment before taking it. The skin at the back of his neck tightened. Cold sweat collected underneath his arms. Just artifacts. He pulled the final carving from the cave.
Together, Jimmy and Randy maneuvered the four idols down to the base of the mesa. It was immediately apparent that carrying all four carvings at once would be difficult, so after a hushed debate, the pothunters hid their treasure underneath a snakeweed bush and went to fetch the car.
The walk back up Route 264 was tense. If they were found, they might be arrested. Or shot. Either way theyd lose out on potentially tens of thousands of dollars each. And Jimmy still felt the standing idols eyes on him, tiny black holes above a larger slash of mouth. But that was just the hungry night acting on his nerves.
The two men kept their headlights off as they drove slowly and carefully back to Shungopavi village. It was nearly 9 oclock now, and adrenaline was high. All they had to do was load up the idols and get out of Hopi territory, and then they could find a buyer and relax with their earnings. Jimmy, whod started his pothunting career in his teens and used the cash to fund his extracurriculars of heroin and cocaine, was already picturing how hed spend his cut.
But as they stashed the third idol in the back of the car, headlights blared across the desert road.
“Hide that,” Randy hissed, gesturing at the last and smallest doll. Jimmy rolled it under a creosote bush, stepping up beside Randy just as the approaching car reached them. The insignia on its side sent a new chill down his spine: a Native game warden from one of the neighboring Hopi villages.
“You two out here hunting?”
“Coyote,” Jimmy improvised. Coyotes were one of the few animals legal to hunt year-round in Arizona, due to the threat they posed to livestock, and, if asked, he and Randy both had valid hunting licenses. He reached around Randy and popped the hood. “But we ran out of brake fluid.”
“Bad luck. Here, I can help you out.” The game warden turned back to his vehicle.
“Thanks,” Randy said. “We appreciate the hand.”
They accepted a small bottle of brake fluid, assuring the older man theyd be more careful about driving around the mesas at night. Jimmys stomach was a mess of nerves, but neither he nor Randy cracked as the game warden climbed back into his car and pulled away, sticking one hand out the window to wave. When the taillights faded into pinpricks in the distance, they collapsed into their own vehicle, half-drunk on hiding four stolen katsina idols right under the officials nose.
Jimmy wheeled the car around so fast they kicked up a cloud of dust and let out a whoop of victory before stepping on the gas back to Winslow. It was only when Randys wife greeted them at the Best Western Motel that they realized the smallest idol was still beneath a bush at Second Mesa.
![](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5a238ba10abd049ac5f4f02c/1631915471412-K4YUHDO9Y85TRUB9UR6G/spacer.png)
Shungopavi village was not doing well in the year since the theft, and the air was thick with suspicion.
Neighbor accused neighbor. Priests heard crying in the night, carried to them over the cold winter wind. The three stolen sacred objects, still missing, were an open wound that would not heal—because they werent just representations of deities. To the Hopis, they were alive.
![](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5a238ba10abd049ac5f4f02c/56863018-7ec2-472a-be45-4c12f00cc788/stone+house.png)
Called taalawtumsi (pronounced “tah-LAO-toom-see”), the four sacred objects were considered living entities, precious katsina friends that were central to the Hopi religion. They were known as Dawn Woman, Corn Maidens Husband, Corn Maiden and Corn Maidens Daughter, a family of deities that played an essential role in helping young Hopi men transition to adulthood. The ritual of Astotokya took place every four winters, and without participating in this rite, young men were barred from helping with sacred ceremonies to plant corn or draw rain.
With the taalawtumsi missing, not only could that initiation not take place, but the tribe was forced to reckon with a very human loss. These idols werent just cottonwood and feathers. They could feel, hurt and cry out for home. Whoever had taken them had committed a crime tantamount to kidnapping, a brutal act that had begun to poison the community at large.
Looting wasnt an isolated threat. Police Chief Ivan Sidney, a short but broad-shouldered Hopi tribal leader, reckoned that up to a third of their sacred objects lived in museums or with collectors by 1980. Jimmy Lee Hinton and Randy Morris were part of a century-old practice of stealing from the tribe with no regard for the damage they were inflicting.
The Hopi population, already small due to their insular way of life, was declining. Unemployment hovered around 50% in a good year, and alcoholism and drug addiction had been carefully seeded into the reservation for generations. Selling sacred objects from ones own village was, for some, a way to make desperately-needed cash.
This put the Hopis in an ugly spot when it came to investigating looters—especially because many tribal officials wouldnt go outside the reservation for help. They believed their spirits would punish thieves far more than any white court of law. But this crime was worse than a missing pot or two: the loss of the taalawtumsi had very real implications for the tribes future. In the months following the theft, different factions in the village became convinced that the others were responsible. Chief Sidney smelled violence in the wind.
The protective veil of secrecy around Hopi faith is so strong that Hopi people dont want to speak about sacred objects with uninitiated children, let alone outsiders. As former Hopi Vice Chairman Herman Honanie put it, “Even talking about these objects feels like \[dissecting our\] religion and eroding \[our\] way of life.” One thing they can say is that any mistreatment of katinsam like the taalawtumsi will be met with force.
“In Hopi religion,” Chief Sidney explained, “there is a penalty for misuse of these idols, death; a prolonged, real painful death.”
![](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5a238ba10abd049ac5f4f02c/e402e47b-3a02-4312-a7d4-5e94e71de2c7/Hopi+rock+carving.png)
*Hopi rock carving, Arizona*
Although Chief Sidney was a Christian, for him, that penalty was cause for alarm. Shungopavi, home to around 2,000 people in 1978, was one of the last villages where traditional Hopi ceremonies took place year-round. If the more devout members of the tribe decided someone in the village was guilty, they might choose to carry out the sentence themselves.
In order to take the investigation off the mesas and avoid attacks on suspected thieves, in the winter of 1979, the BIA enlisted the help of the FBI. But by the time Alfonso Sakeva, a young Hopi criminal investigator with an easy smile and an eye for art, was joined by FBI agent Steve Lund, the idols could have been thousands of miles away.
Or they might be just down-country, decorating the home of a man with an Indiana Jones look to him and a similar disposition towards sacred artifacts.
Eugene “Jinx” Pyle, a 35 year-old Navy veteran, was certain of two things: God and Arizona. Born and raised in Payson, the town fondly nicknamed “Arizonas heart” thanks to its geographically central location, Jinx took his birthright seriously. Hed traveled in his youth, but his home state kept calling him back—the dramatic landscapes, the legacy of cowboys of the past. By 1979, he operated a legally questionable trading post in Payson, where fellow collector Arthur Neblett contacted him in August: someone was trying to sell a set of large katsina dolls in Safford, a small city to the southeast.
Jimmy and Randy had been trying to offload the dolls for months. Their initial asking price of $50,000 hadnt gone over well on the black market, mainly because nobody knew exactly what they were selling. Jimmy reckoned they were only taken out of their storage place once per generation. He didnt understand that the taalawtumsi were sacred to the Hopi rite of manhood, and that only the initiated Shungopavi elders had ever seen them.
Jimmy did his best to identify the idols, turning to photographer Jerry Jacka and a former curator of the Museum of Northern Arizona, Barton Wright. Jacka took the only known photograph of the taalawtumsi, laid out on an elk hide on his living room floor. Based on that photo, Wright was able to confirm the dolls were likely used in clan initiations but couldnt provide any concrete idea of their value.
Not only were the dolls not turning into riches the way Jimmy and Randy had anticipated, their status as known local pothunters meant the FBI were sniffing around both young men. They even brought Randy in for an interview. Randy lied about the theft, but enough was enough. He wanted out. He suggested they simply hide the idols, and Jimmy agreed—at least to Randys face.
![](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5a238ba10abd049ac5f4f02c/ddc85143-0271-431e-8a84-49ea258f98e0/Memorandum.png)
*FBI Documents obtained by Truly\*Adventurous*
What Jimmy didnt tell his partner in crime: things were getting strange. He was collecting health problems at a rate that seemed unusual for a 23 year-old, including kidney, liver, and gallbladder failure. He also kept winding up in jail on drug charges, which put his marriage at risk; his wife wanted a baby, not a husband who couldnt be trusted. Meanwhile, shortly after the theft, Randy crashed his motorcycle and temporarily lost the use of an arm and a leg.
To Jimmy, these disasters were more than a run of bad choices and worse luck. It had to be the idols. Hed started to see katsina faces in his dreams, promising ill fortune. Randy didnt believe him, but Jimmy didnt care; there were plenty of other Arizonans who agreed that Hopi objects held supernatural powers. Jimmy also needed money for his soon-to-grow family, and more importantly, he needed to rid himself of whatever curse the stolen idols had laid on his head. Instead of hiding them inside an old refrigerator as theyd discussed, he buried them near an abandoned barn and put out more feelers to the black market.
Finally, almost 10 months after stealing the taalawtumsi, Jimmy got a phone call at the bar he managed in Safford. The buyer didnt give a name, and Jimmy didnt ask. He returned to the burial site, alone and almost certainly at night, and unearthed the three stolen idols. Only one more day, he told himself, and stowed the katsinam in a canal ditch bank about a quarter mile into the desert from where he and the man had agreed to meet.
The next day, the buyer found Jimmy behind the country store in Fort Thomas, a small town near Safford. Jimmy drove them to the ditch where hed dumped the idols the night before, and sold all three for somewhere between $1,000 and $1,600—what would be around $5,800 today. A paltry sum, all things considered.
The man who bought the dolls paid partly in cash, throwing in an extra $50 for an old sleeping bag in Jimmys truck in which to transport them. The rest he promised to pay in the form of valuable pots that Jimmy could resell. These pots never appeared, but Jimmy didnt mind. He just wanted the taalawtumsi gone, and disappeared they did: the last Jimmy saw of the dolls (at least, in person) they were slung over the buyers shoulder as he strolled down a desert highway.
The fallout came swiftly. On learning what Jimmy had done, Randy cut ties. He was finished with Jimmys lies, his ambition and his insistence that the idols had cursed them both.
Jimmys wife, on the other hand, didnt know what to think. She only hoped this meant they could focus on steady work and trying for a child. Soon enough, she and Jimmy were expecting their firstborn—but the stolen katsinam were not done with Jimmy Lee Hinton. They wouldnt finish with him for over another decade.
![](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5a238ba10abd049ac5f4f02c/1868f99e-d491-43d2-823c-a17ed93d34e0/Pyle.png)
*Jinx Pyle*
Meanwhile, after purchasing the idols in Fort Thomas, Jinx Pyle planned to sell them in California. He figured that “any old \[katsina\] dolls got to be worth something.” Barely a month after meeting Jimmy, however, word reached him from Second Mesa: the feds were still looking at Shungopavi, and one of Jinxs former contacts, a man named Eric Talayumptewa, was on their radar for smuggling.
On the one hand, Talayumptewa couldnt rat Jinx out. Hed died earlier that year, before any concrete evidence confirmed the FBIs suspicions. On the other hand, he was part of a small ring of Hopis who sold to Jinx, any number of whom might give the feds the link they needed. Jinx hadnt orchestrated this particular theft, but that wouldnt matter to the FBI. Once they pinned him as the likely middleman for the stolen taalawtumsi, the rest—search warrant, arrest, prison—would unfurl before him like an Arizona sunset.
“I wasnt that worried in the beginning,” Jinx allowed. “But I kept hearing that people were out there trying to find them. I was afraid to have them, and afraid to give them back.”
There was only one solution, as far as Jinx could tell. Only one way to guarantee that he and the idols could not be connected in a court of law.
![](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5a238ba10abd049ac5f4f02c/1631915453446-UM1SEVJ330TDDZ9YI4ZQ/spacer.png)
**Safford, Arizona**
**Three Years Later**
Jimmy Lee Hinton jerked awake. His wife was visiting her parents for the weekend, and the room was dark and empty. The windows were closed. On his nightstand, the alarm clock read 2:00 in the morning. Jimmy focused on that clock, breathing slowly, and listened. At first, only silence. Then the sound came again, faint but unmistakable: wind chimes. But he knew if he went outside to check, he would find nothing and no one.
Jimmy sank lower beneath his blankets. He wasnt imagining the chimes. Of that, he was certain. Selling the idols hadnt lifted the curse; it had only condemned him further.
Almost worse than the paranoia was the isolation. Randy hadnt spoken to Jimmy since the sale in 1979, and he wasnt about to drag his wife back into this, much less his parents or siblings. The only other person Jimmy might have confided in was his brother-in-law, a man named Mark Brady—except he and Mark werent speaking much these days either.
![](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5a238ba10abd049ac5f4f02c/b2579bab-9405-40e4-9c18-6e6649a943e1/Skull.png)
Shortly after offloading the three stolen dolls, Jimmy had given Mark a map. On it were the directions to the fourth and final taalawtumsi, the smallest sacred object he and Randy had left beneath a creosote bush outside Second Mesa. Mark never found that doll. He was picked up by the cops first, digging in nearby ruins, and traded the idols location for his freedom.
Now, almost three years later, Jimmy remembered Marks haunted expression as he described that day. How hed led Hopi tribal police, accompanied by a priest from Shungopavi, to the area indicated on his map—but before he had a chance to point out the bush, the priest walked straight to it and uncovered Corn Maidens Daughter. “He just walked right up to it,” Mark said, “then started crying.”
At the time, Marks story “gave \[Jimmy\] the heebie-jeebies,” but he was also in the middle of his latest prison stint with no financial prospects on his release. Hed resented, too, how much of his life seemed to be controlled by this one theft. So when Jimmy got out of jail in 1981, he returned to Hopi territory for another dig.
Jimmy and two friends followed classic pothunter protocol. They arrived at night, armed with tiny flashlights and ready to split up. As soon as Jimmy was alone, the dark closed in. His arms ached, remembering how heavy each taalawtumsi had been. How rough the cottonwood against his fingers. He took a breather, closing his eyes and counting to five, then opening and letting his vision adjust again to the night. To the small bright lights hovering several feet off the ground.
Animal eyes, he thought. Not a coyote, too—too tall? As soon as he thought it, the lights vanished. Something cracked behind him, loud as a gunshot but cleaner, sharper, and very close. Like footsteps breaking wood.
Jimmy wanted to call for his friends, but the noise would attract attention. Instead he bit his tongue, using the pen light to pick his way back through what felt like endless desert. More lights dogged his heels, appearing and disappearing too fast to follow, like he was being chased by a swarm of ghostly orbs. By the time he reached the car, the sun was clawing over the horizon. His friends stumbled back with the dawn. Their faces were pale and haggard, and for once, no one bothered with bravado.
“I was a blubbering idiot,” Jimmy later admitted. “We all had the same experiences.”
This was more than drug busts or health problems with reasonable explanations. This was a warning. Jimmy took it seriously. Later that week, he called the FBI and told them what he could.
Unfortunately, that wasnt much. Jimmy had no idea whod bought the taalawtumsi or where theyd gone next, and confessing brought no absolution. Now, in 1982, he lay awake in his bed and listened to the wind chimes coming closer.
![](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5a238ba10abd049ac5f4f02c/c000aff8-40d2-42dd-9198-93fef6a8a23d/spacer.png)
**Eugene, Oregon**
**Eight Years Later**
The taalawtumsi had been gone for almost 15 years, but for BIA investigator Alfonso Sakeva and FBI agent Steve Lund, the case was still raw. Shungopavi had been thrown into a forced hiatus, with up to 60 men—some now in their 30s—unable to call themselves adults. The Hopi religion was staggering along, newly wounded every time an elder died without the chance to pass on their knowledge.
So when the name “Jinx Pyle” resurfaced in 1990, it rang a resonant bell. Despite his love for the state, Jinx was no longer living in Arizona; hed opted for a break from scrutiny and moved to Oregon in the late 1980s. His dealings followed him, though, rumors and accusations drifting after like ghosts.
Sakeva and Lund crossed state lines to interview Jinx about another case that also involved the antiquities black market, but the taalawtumsi were never far from their minds. The unrelated case put Jinx in the right place at the right time, with the right connections to make the sale. If this Arizona cowboy turned Oregon longhorn rancher had played a role in fencing the sacred objects all those years ago, this could be their chance to finally make Shungopavi whole.
They couldnt just walk up and ask about the taalawtumsi, of course. Jinx might spook, and the statute of limitations made legal options for pursuit uncertain. If Jinx did have the idols and the agents were able to prove it, it was possible no charges would stick over a decade after the purchase. Sakeva and Lund were on delicate ground. They had to do this right, for Second Mesa and all of the Hopi people. That called for a little more legwork.
Before confronting Jinx at the Pantera Ranch in Eugene, the investigators arranged to meet with a pair of U.S. Attorneys, Linda Akers and Rosyln Moore-Silver. They wanted to understand what they could threaten Jinx with in order to make him talk, especially given that in this case, the primary goal of prosecution wasnt to punish a criminal but to retrieve the sacred objects unharmed. Akers and Moore-Silver armed the agents with a federal grand jury subpoena to get the ball rolling.
When Jinx allowed Sakeva and Lund into his living room to talk, he was shocked at the direction of their questioning. Hed never told anyone about the idols, and “had no idea how the feds ever got \[his\] name.” But they were here now, and in the years between 1981 and 1990, Jinx had undergone a change of heart. When the agents described the artifacts they were really looking for and their importance to the Hopi religion, Jinx couldnt bring himself to lie.
Instead he told the agents how 10 years ago, in the spring of 1980, he did what he felt was necessary to protect himself from the FBI. He chopped the taalawtumsi into pieces and fed them, one by one, to his woodstove.
The blow was unspeakable. Sakeva and Lund, who had worked on this case for 11 years, were not prepared. Reeling, they left Jinx at the ranch and broke the news to the two attorneys supporting the investigation. “I felt devastated,” Rosyln Moore-Silver said of that call. “Linda and I sat silently for a long time as the enormity sank in.”
Alfonso Sakeva thought of the priests in Shungopavi who still heard the taalawtumsi crying late at night. Steve Lund thought of how, in the eyes of the United States federal law, what Jinx had done was nothing but a black market theft. They couldnt be certain the rancher was telling the truth—and no one would ever know for sure—but it was hard to imagine why hed make the story up. Even if he was lying, there were no legal grounds for a search warrant.
![](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5a238ba10abd049ac5f4f02c/65026c23-2b40-41e5-93ca-f78f37dcec76/1_-4KvhvQs-5iH2RJeM05jTQ.png)
Floundering for a way forward, Sakeva, Lund and the attorneys made the only choice that seemed fair. They consulted with the Hopis of Shungopavi to ask them what, if anything, might lead towards spiritual reconciliation.
“\[The taalawtumsi\] arent gone,” insisted Hopi artist and silversmith Roy Talahaftewa. “They say, Come and rescue us. Come and get us.’” Others agreed with him. They needed closure. They needed to hear the truth directly from the man whod gutted their religion.
Convincing Jinx Pyle to travel to Second Mesa and meet with the Hopis in person was easier said than done. Sakeva and Lund knew their case was weak, and that a court would almost certainly dismiss it out of hand based on the statute of limitations. But the threat of prosecution was the only card they had.
With the help of Akers and Moore-Silver, the agents drafted a cooperation order: Jinx would submit to a Justice Department administered polygraph to confirm hed really burned the sacred objects, and then he would confess his actions in Shungopavi. Otherwise, theyd take him to court. Now in his mid-40s and eager to avoid more attention from the law, Jinx saw little choice. He signed the cooperation agreement on February 12, 1991. Six weeks later he was back in Arizona, standing on the cold, windy top of Second Mesa.
“You guys have a lot of nerve coming up here,” a tribal officer told Jinx and his lawyer as they ate breakfast at the Hopi Cultural Center. “You ever hear of Custer?”
It was too late to retreat, and now that Jinx was here, the full reality of what hed done was sinking in. Dozens of Hopi men waited for him in the Shungopavi meeting hall, a wide sandstone room that—like the taalawtumsi—had been carved centuries ago.
“If Id had any idea of how important the idols were,” Jinx told the assembled crowd, “I never would have burned them.” It was small comfort to the Hopis whod been barred from initiation for over a decade.
“Do you go to church?” one young man asked. Jinx said he did. “Have you told the people in your church that you have destroyed our religion?”
The answer was no. This was not a surprise. Leigh Kuwanwisiwma, former director of the Hopi Cultural Preservation Office, said bluntly: “To see the art market driving this kind of behavior, its not just distressful to the Hopi people, its a hurt that I dont believe people can really understand.” But Jinx appeared to be trying, the guilt heavy on his shoulders.
He wasnt alone. Back in Safford, Jimmy Lee Hinton heard about the ranchers trip to Second Mesa. Fifteen years after his crime, nightmares continued to plague him. Hed remarried his first wife and retained custody of his four children, but by 1990 hed also served three more prison terms and missed huge chunks of their lives. Family members called him beloved but troubled, never fully able to escape his past.
![](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5a238ba10abd049ac5f4f02c/8f0884a8-20b2-4454-af67-ed5ddcac7434/car.png)
“Any phrases I could use to describe the guilt would not be enough,” Jimmy said. “To collectors I say, Set aside your greed for a while. Its not art youre collecting. Its life. Its a peoples soul.’”
Randy Morris felt the weight as well. He still walked with a cane and had limited use of one arm after his accident, but eight months after Jinx met with the Hopis, Randy reached out to Agent Lund to facilitate his own pilgrimage to Shungopavi. He told the Hopi villagers everything he could about the night he and Jimmy took the idols, swearing that he “didnt find out until later they were so precious.”
“We told \[Randy\] he had nothing to be afraid of,” said Pat Lomawaima of the Hopi mental health office. “No harm was done, except to me.”
It took months of fierce debate for the Hopis at Shungopavi to decide how to move forward in this new world, the world in which their katsina friends were never coming home. Some still refused to believe the taalawtumsi had been burned. Some felt there was no way to perform the initiation rite without all four sacred objects present. Yet they were losing knowledge of their religion. The priest in charge of the initiation ceremony was already 95 years old.
In November 1992, a year after learning the truth, the village made an agonizing choice. They would resume initiations with Corn Maidens Daughter presiding. Sixty-three men were welcomed into traditional Hopi adulthood that year, with 60 more ready for the next ceremony in four years. Jinx and Randy would carry their regret with them for the rest of their lives, but at least facing their crimes had paved the way for Shungopavi to heal.
Jimmy Lee Hinton was a different story. Despite his ongoing fear that the idols had cursed him, and his vocal regret for the theft, he couldnt bring himself to visit Second Mesa. Instead he tried other ways to atone, including apologizing to Native inmates he met in prison. (None of them were Hopi.) Despite his attempts to make up for what hed done, his belief in the Hopi curse followed Jimmy to his grave. He died in August 1996—exactly 18 years after he and Randy stole the taalawtumsi, and only a few months before the second modified initiation ceremony would take place in Shungopavi. He was 40 years old.
Atop Second Mesa, Shungopavi village salvaged what ancient knowledge they could. The adulthood ritual continued on schedule. “\[The rite\] is like a book is opened up,” said Shungopavi village administrator Ronald Wadsworth. “It \[is\] a very joyous occasion.”
Silversmith Roy Talaheftewa agreed.
“I spoke to my brother-in-law and my nephew, and I asked if they felt the presence of the taalawtumsi in the kiva like I did.
They said yes.”
![](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5a238ba10abd049ac5f4f02c/7cb2e7b8-2167-4b7d-8625-3bfff5d86e29/Hopi.png)
![](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5a238ba10abd049ac5f4f02c/1634332893663-P2YNWALQZ8PIIJXNVEL1/1_yTNU8hu-YWg0BuGNbX1aHQ.png)
*JAQ EVANS* is a writer based out of Seattle, Washington. She also leads digital engagement strategy for 350.org.
For all rights inquiries, email team@trulyadventure.us.
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^button-BlackHolesMayHideaMind-BendingSecretNSave
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# Black Holes May Hide a Mind-Bending Secret About Our Universe
![](https://static01.nyt.com/images/2022/10/11/science/11-SCI-BLACKHOLE-1/11-SCI-BLACKHOLE-1-articleLarge.jpg?quality=75&auto=webp&disable=upscale)
Credit...Leonardo Santamaria
The Great ReadOut There
Take gravity, add quantum mechanics, stir. What do you get? Just maybe, a holographic cosmos.
Credit...Leonardo Santamaria
- Published Oct. 10, 2022Updated Oct. 11, 2022, 12:01 p.m. ET
For the last century the biggest bar fight in science has been between Albert Einstein and himself.
On one side is the Einstein who in 1915 conceived general relativity, which describes gravity as the warping of space-time by matter and energy. That theory predicted that space-time could bend, expand, rip, quiver like a bowl of Jell-O and disappear into those bottomless pits of nothingness known as black holes.
On the other side is the Einstein who, starting in 1905, laid the foundation for quantum mechanics, the nonintuitive rules that inject randomness into the world — rules that Einstein never accepted. According to quantum mechanics, a subatomic particle like an electron can be anywhere and everywhere at once, and a cat can be both alive and dead until it is observed. God doesnt play dice, Einstein often complained.
Gravity rules outer space, shaping galaxies and indeed the whole universe, whereas quantum mechanics rules inner space, the arena of atoms and elementary particles. The two realms long seemed to have nothing to do with each other; this left scientists ill-equipped to understand what happens in an extreme situation like a black hole or the beginning of the universe.
But a blizzard of research in the last decade on the inner lives of black holes has revealed unexpected connections between the two views of the cosmos. The implications are mind-bending, including the possibility that our three-dimensional universe — and we ourselves — may be holograms, like the ghostly anti-counterfeiting images that appear on some credit cards and drivers licenses. In this version of the cosmos, there is no difference between here and there, cause and effect, inside and outside or perhaps even then and now; household cats can be conjured in empty space. We can all be Dr. Strange.
“It may be too strong to say that gravity and quantum mechanics are exactly the same thing,” Leonard Susskind of Stanford University [wrote in a paper in 2017](https://arxiv.org/abs/1708.03040). “But those of us who are paying attention may already sense that the two are inseparable, and that neither makes sense without the other.”
That insight, Dr. Susskind and his colleagues hope, could lead to a theory that combines gravity and quantum mechanics — quantum gravity — and perhaps explains how the universe began.
## Einstein vs. Einstein
The schism between the two Einsteins entered the spotlight in 1935, when the physicist faced off against himself in a pair of scholarly papers.
In one paper, Einstein and Nathan Rosen showed that general relativity predicted that black holes (which were not yet known by that name) could form in pairs connected by shortcuts through space-time, called Einstein-Rosen bridges — “wormholes.” In the imaginations of science fiction writers, you could jump into one black hole and pop out of the other.
In the other paper, Einstein, Rosen and another physicist, Boris Podolsky, tried to pull the rug out from quantum mechanics by exposing a seeming logical inconsistency. They [pointed out](http://www.nytimes.com/2005/12/27/science/27eins.html "Times article on quantum entanglement.") that, according to the uncertainty principle of quantum physics, a pair of particles once associated would be eternally connected, even if they were light-years apart. Measuring a property of one particle — its direction of spin, say — would instantaneously affect the measurement of its mate. If these photons were flipped coins and one came up heads, the other invariably would be found out to be tails.
To Einstein this proposition was obviously ludicrous, and he dismissed it as “spooky action at a distance.” But today physicists call it “entanglement,” and lab experiments confirm its reality every day. Last week the [Nobel Prize in Physics](https://www.nytimes.com/2022/10/04/science/nobel-prize-physics-winner.html) was awarded to a trio of physicists whose experiments over the years had demonstrated the reality of this “spooky action.”
The physicist N. David Mermin of Cornell University once called such quantum weirdness “[the closest thing we have to magic](https://www.nytimes.com/2006/01/10/health/new-tests-of-einsteins-spooky-reality.html).”
As Daniel Kabat, a physics professor at Lehman College in New York, explained it, “Were used to thinking that information about an object — say, that a glass is half-full — is somehow contained within the object. Entanglement means this isnt correct. Entangled objects dont have an independent existence with definite properties of their own. Instead they only exist in relation to other objects.”
Einstein probably never dreamed that the two 1935 papers had anything in common, Dr. Susskind said recently. But Dr. Susskind and other physicists now speculate that wormholes and spooky action are two aspects of the same magic and, as such, are the key to resolving an array of cosmic paradoxes.
## Throwing Dice in the Dark
To astronomers, black holes are dark monsters with gravity so strong that they can consume stars, wreck galaxies and imprison even light. At the edge of a black hole, time seems to stop. At a black holes center, matter shrinks to infinite density and the known laws of physics break down. But to physicists bent on explicating those fundamental laws, black holes are a Coney Island of mysteries and imagination.
In 1974 the cosmologist Stephen Hawking astonished the scientific world with a heroic calculation showing that, to his own surprise, black holes were neither truly black nor eternal, when quantum effects were added to the picture. Over eons, a black hole would leak energy and subatomic particles, shrink, grow increasingly hot and finally explode. In the process, all the mass that had fallen into the black hole over the ages would be returned to the outer universe as a random fizz of particles and radiation.
This might sound like good news, a kind of cosmic resurrection. But it was a potential catastrophe for physics. A core tenet of science holds that information is never lost; billiard balls might scatter every which way on a pool table, but in principle it is always possible to rewind the tape to determine where they were in the past or predict their positions in the future, even if they drop into a black hole.
But if Hawking were correct, the particles radiating from a black hole were random, a meaningless thermal noise stripped of the details of whatever has fallen in. If a cat fell in, most of its information — name, color, temperament — would be unrecoverable, effectively lost from history. It would be as if you opened your safe deposit box and found that your birth certificate and your passport had disappeared. As Hawking phrased it in 1976: “God not only plays dice, he sometimes throws them where they cant be seen.”
His declaration triggered a 40-year war of ideas. “This cant be right,” Dr. Susskind, who became Hawkings biggest adversary in the subsequent debate, thought to himself when first hearing about Hawkings claim. “I didnt know what to make out of it.”
Image
![A white, illustrated cat sits in the middle of the page, staring out, and dark blue lines radiate from behind it like a scintillating star.](https://static01.nyt.com/images/2022/10/11/science/11-sci-blackhole-A/11-sci-blachole-1-articleLarge.jpg?quality=75&auto=webp&disable=upscale)
Credit...Leonardo Santamaria
## Encoding Reality
A potential solution came to Dr. Susskind one day in 1993 as he was walking through a physics building on campus. There in the hallway he saw a display of a hologram of a young woman.
A hologram is basically a three-dimensional image — a teapot, a cat, Princess Leia — made entirely of light. It is created by illuminating the original (real) object with a laser and recording the patterns of reflected light on a photographic plate. When the plate is later illuminated, a three-dimensional image of the object springs into view at the center.
Hey, heres a situation where it looks as if information is kind of reproduced in two different ways,’” Dr. Susskind recalled thinking. On the one hand, there is a visible object that “looked real,” he said. “And on the other hand, theres the same information coded on the film surrounding the hologram. Up close, it just looks like a little bunch of scratches and a highly complex encoding.”
The right combinations of scratches on that film, Dr. Susskind realized, could make anything emerge into three dimensions. Then he thought: What if a black hole was actually a hologram, with the event horizon serving as the “film,” encoding what was inside? It was “a nutty idea, a cool idea,” he recalled.
Across the Atlantic, the same nutty idea had occurred to the Dutch physicist, Gerardus t Hooft, a Nobel laureate at Utrecht University in the Netherlands.
According to Einsteins general relativity, the information content of a black hole or any three-dimensional space — your living room, say, or the whole universe — was limited to the number of bits that could be encoded on an imaginary surface surrounding it. That space was measured in pixels 10⁻³³ centimeters on a side — the smallest unit of space, known as the Planck length.
With data pixels so small, this amounted to quadrillions of megabytes per square centimeter — a stupendous amount of information, but not an infinite amount. Trying to cram too much information into any region would cause it to exceed a limit decreed by Jacob Bekenstein, then a Princeton graduate student and Hawkings rival, and cause it to collapse into a black hole.
“[This is what we found out about Natures bookkeeping system](https://arxiv.org/pdf/hep-th/0003004.pdf),” Dr. t Hooft wrote in 1993. “The data can be written onto a surface, and the pen with which the data are written has a finite size.”
## The Soup-Can Universe
The cosmos-as-holograph idea found its fullest expression a few years later, in 1997. Juan Maldacena, a theorist at the Institute for Advanced Study in Princeton, N.J., used new ideas from string theory — the speculative “theory of everything” that portrays subatomic particles as vibrating strings — to create a mathematical model of the entire universe as a hologram.
In his formulation, all the information about what happens inside some volume of space is encoded as quantum fields on the surface of the regions boundary.
Dr. Maldacenas universe is often portrayed as a can of soup: Galaxies, black holes, gravity, stars and the rest, including us, are the soup inside, and the information describing them resides on the outside, like a label. Think of it as gravity in a can. The inside and outside of the can — the “bulk” and the “boundary” — are complementary descriptions of the same phenomena.
Since the fields on the surface of the soup can obey quantum rules about preserving information, the gravitational fields inside the can must also preserve information. In such a picture, “[there is no room for information loss](https://www.nytimes.com/2004/07/22/world/about-those-fearsome-black-holes-never-mind.html),” Dr. Maldacena said at a conference in 2004.
Hawking conceded: Gravity was not the great eraser after all.
“In other words, the universe makes sense,” Dr. Susskind said in an interview.
“Its completely crazy,” he added, in reference to the holographic universe. “You could imagine in a laboratory, in a sufficiently advanced laboratory, a large sphere — lets say, a hollow sphere of a specially tailored material — to be made of silicon and other things, with some kind of appropriate quantum fields inscribed on it.” Then you could conduct experiments, he said: Tap on the sphere, interact with it, then wait for answers from the entities inside.
“On the other hand, you could open up that shell and you would find nothing in it,” he added. As for us entities inside: “We dont read the hologram, we are the hologram.”
Image
Credit...Leonardo Santamaria
## Wormholes, wormholes everywhere
Our actual universe, unlike Dr. Maldacenas mathematical model, has no boundary, no outer limit. Nonetheless, for physicists, his universe became a proof of principle that gravity and quantum mechanics were compatible and offered a font of clues to how our actual universe works.
But, Dr. Maldacena noted recently, his model did not explain how information manages to escape a black hole intact or how Hawkings calculation in 1974 went wrong.
Don Page, a former student of Hawking now at the University of Alberta, took a different approach in the 1990s. Suppose, he said, that information is conserved when a black hole evaporates. If so, then a black hole does not spit out particles as randomly as Hawking had thought. The radiation would start out as random, but as time went on, the particles being emitted would become more and more correlated with those that had come out earlier, essentially filling the gaps in the missing information. After billions and billions of years all the hidden information would have emerged.
In quantum terms, this explanation required any particles now escaping the black hole to be entangled with the particles that had leaked out earlier. But this presented a problem. Those newly emitted particles were already entangled with their mates that had already fallen into the black hole, running afoul of quantum rules mandating that particles be entangled only in pairs. Dr. Pages information-transmission scheme could only work if the particles inside the black hole were somehow the same as the particles that were now outside.
How could that be? The inside and outside of the black hole were connected by wormholes, the shortcuts through space and time proposed by Einstein and Rosen in 1935.
In 2012 Drs. Maldacena and Susskind proposed a formal truce between the two warring Einsteins. They proposed that spooky entanglement and wormholes were two faces of the same phenomenon. As they put it, employing the initials of the authors of those two 1935 papers, Einstein and Rosen in one and Einstein, Podolsky and Rosen in the other: “ER = EPR.”
The implication is that, in some strange sense, the outside of a black hole was the same as the inside, like a Klein bottle that has only one side.
How could information be in two places at once? Like much of quantum physics, the question boggles the mind, like the notion that light can be a wave or a particle depending on how the measurement is made.
What matters is that, if the interior and exterior of a black hole were connected by wormholes, information could flow through them in either direction, in or out, according to John Preskill, a Caltech physicist and quantum computing expert.
“We ought to be able to influence the interior of one of these black holes by tickling its radiation, and thereby sending a message to the inside of the black hole,” he said [in a 2017 interview with Quanta](https://www.quantamagazine.org/newfound-wormhole-allows-information-to-escape-black-holes-20171023/). He added, “It sounds crazy.”
Ahmed Almheiri, a physicist at N.Y.U. Abu Dhabi, noted recently that by manipulating radiation that had escaped a black hole, he could create a cat inside that black hole. “I can do something with the particles radiating from the black hole, and suddenly a cat is going to appear in the black hole,” he said.
He added, “We all have to get used to this.”
The metaphysical turmoil came to a head in 2019. That year two groups of theorists made detailed calculations showing that information leaking through wormholes would match the pattern predicted by Dr. Page. One paper was by Geoff Penington, now at the University of California, Berkeley. And the other was by Netta Engelhardt of M.I.T.; [Don Marolf](https://web.physics.ucsb.edu/~marolf/) of the University of California, Santa Barbara; [Henry Maxfield](https://inspirehep.net/authors/1272287), now at Stanford University; and Dr. Almheiri. The two groups published their papers on the same day.
“And so the final moral of the story is, if your theory of gravity includes wormholes, then you get information coming out,” Dr. Penington said. “If it doesnt include wormholes, then presumably you dont get information coming out.”
He added, “Hawking didnt include wormholes, and we are including wormholes.”
Not everybody has signed on to this theory. And testing it is a challenge, since particle accelerators will probably never be powerful enough to produce black holes in the lab for study, although several groups of experimenters hope to simulate black holes and wormholes in quantum computers.
And even if this physics turns out to be accurate, Dr. Mermins magic does have an important limit: Neither wormholes nor entanglement can transmit a message, much less a human, faster than the speed of light. So much for time travel. The weirdness only becomes apparent after the fact, when two scientists compare their observations and discover that they match — a process that involves classical physics, which obeys the speed limit set by Einstein.
As Dr. Susskind likes to say, “You cant make that cat hop out of a black hole faster than the speed of light.”
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# Bodybuilders dying as coaches and judges encourage extreme measures
Alena Kosinova was hunched over a fan waiting for her spray tan to dry when she realized she couldnt move. It was hours before the 2021 Europa Pro contest and the Czech bodybuilder was cramping again — just like she had at a contest in Portugal weeks earlier.
Kosinova was known by friends and competitors for embracing the extremes of bodybuilding — the training, the dieting, the drugs. But on that steamy August morning, her voice quivered as she whispered to another Czech athlete, Ivana Dvorakova, “I wont be able to do it. I feel really ill.”
Dvorakova helped lay her down on the concrete floor as others gathered and gave Kosinova water, packets of salt and sugar. Kosinova answered questions about the diuretics she had taken before convulsing and losing consciousness.
It took nearly an hour for the ambulance to arrive at the venue in Alicante, Spain, according to four people who witnessed or were briefed on what happened. Kosinova, a 46-year-old mother who dreamed of winning the prestigious Olympia, died before the competition was over.
Her American coach, Shelby Starnes, wasnt there — he rarely attended shows. But shortly after Kosinova died, Starnes received an alarming email from another client, Jodie Engle.
The 30-year-old single mother wrote that she had been hospitalized and might need open-heart surgery. Doctors blamed the diuretics she said shed been advised to use for more than a week leading into the NPC National Championships in Florida.
Engle won first place in her division and earned a “pro card,” allowing her to compete professionally. But the price she paid was steep: tens of thousands of dollars in medical bills and, doctors told her, she would eventually need a kidney transplant.
Starnes, one of the most popular coaches for female bodybuilders, did not respond to messages seeking comment.
Engle takes responsibility for what happened — no one forced the drugs down her throat.
“I was stupid because I turned over the reins to somebody that was more reckless than myself,” she said.
Bodybuilders around the world are risking their lives and sometimes dying for the sport they love because of extreme measures that are encouraged by coaches, rewarded by judges and ignored by leaders of the industry, according to interviews with dozens of bodybuilders, coaches, judges, promoters, medical professionals and relatives of deceased athletes.
The Washington Post investigated the deaths of more than two dozen bodybuilders, focusing mostly on those who died leading up to or in the aftermath of competitions. A review of hundreds of documents including medical and autopsy records, police reports, 911 calls, emails and text messages, along with interviews with more than 70 people, reveals the devastating consequences of a sport that for years has operated under the halo of health and fitness.
Several of the industrys top coaches, without formal training or medical licenses, supplied their clients with illegal steroids or other illicit substances; instructed them on dosages for using performance-enhancing drugs; or advised athletes not to seek medical care before competitions, The Post found.
Unlike other professional sports, the IFBB Pro League, the largest professional bodybuilding federation in the United States, does not routinely test athletes for steroids or other performance-enhancing drugs. Theres no health insurance or union to protect athletes. Nearly all steroids are illegal without a prescription in the United States, but bodybuilders say they are easily obtained and widely used by competitors.
Jim Manion, who runs the IFBB Pro and an amateur organization, the National Physique Committee (NPC), declined to answer specific questions and issued a company statement: “The health, safety and welfare of all our competitors has, and always will be, of utmost importance to us.”
But bodybuilders and coaches say the risks have intensified in recent years as contest judges increasingly reward athletes with nearly impossible-to-achieve physiques. Those whove warned against the dangers say they have faced pressure to stay silent and suffered backlash from federation officials and coaches after speaking out.
Bodybuilders typically spend months preparing for competitions with strict diets and hours of [workouts often fueled by stimulants](https://www.washingtonpost.com/investigations/interactive/2022/bodybuilding-health-risks/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template). Many add to that a cocktail of performance-enhancing drugs to build muscle and fat burners to get lean.
The grueling days before contests are known as “peak week” — when bodybuilders are at their leanest, most dehydrated state after taking diuretics to remove water so muscles are “dry” and defined.
In the fall of 2021, the coach of 37-year-old George Peterson found his client dead in an Orlando hotel room two days before the Olympia contest.
Police discovered hundreds of pills without prescription labels, including steroids, thyroid medication to speed up metabolism and clenbuterol, a drug that is approved only for horses in the United States but is used by bodybuilders as a fat burner.
Petersons coach, Justin Miller, declined to answer questions about his athletes use of performance-enhancing drugs.
The lack of safeguards has led to sick and dead bodybuilders in different federations around the world, said Georgina Dunnington, who was involved in the bodybuilding industry for 30 years and judged top competitions such as the Arnold Classic in Columbus, Ohio.
She said the federations and a constellation of businesses around them are profiting off vulnerable athletes who rarely earn enough contest money to cover the thousands of dollars they spend to compete.
“You need to put the athletes before the money,” said Dunnington, who served as the chairperson of the Canadian Bodybuilding Federation until 2020. “We fail the athletes 110 percent on every aspect of the sport. We validated so many wrong things and made them acceptable.”
Those who survived the bodybuilding lifestyle described the [lasting impact](https://www.washingtonpost.com/investigations/interactive/2022/bodybuilding-health-risks/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template): kidney failure, stomach ulcers, high blood pressure, thyroid dysfunction, enlarged hearts, hormonal imbalances, hair loss, infertility, eating disorders, muscle dysmorphia and depression, along with various orthopedic injuries.
Sally Sandoe, whose 31-year-old son Luke died in the United Kingdom in 2020, said its inexplicable that so many bodybuilders are getting sick and dying and no one is confronting the problem.
“It is an absolute free-for-all,” Sandoe said. “Theres just real destruction and devastation and destroyed lives. How is that fair? How can that carry on? It cant. It has to stop.”
##### Dead at 30
Daniel Alexander
Daniel Alexander stood with his hands on his hips as he gazed into the mirror at Crunch Fitness in Northridge, Calif., where he worked as a manager. “Its almost that time of year I start growing and get to looking freaky,” Alexander posted on Instagram in March 2019.
Hed been training for months with his coach to add muscle after getting feedback from judges that his upper body thickness needed to match his massive 30-inch thighs.
Alexander was planning to compete at Legion Sports Fest that November. But by September, the [contest prep was taking a toll](https://www.washingtonpost.com/investigations/interactive/2022/bodybuilding-health-risks/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template) on the 30-year-old. He messaged his coach, Dave Kalick, about “lots of frequently long cramps” after using fat burners and taking steroids.
His coach, a former bodybuilder who described himself as a nutritionist, instructed Alexander to take magnesium for the cramps and detailed six steroid dosages, according to text messages reviewed by The Post. Kalick does not have any medical or pharmacy licenses in California, where he lives. But he does have multiple felony convictions, including for methamphetamine possession.
Alexander was known for being fiercely loyal — to his friends, to his family and to his coach. In a podcast recorded with Kalick in mid-October, Alexander offered advice to other bodybuilders: “Trust the process. If youre willing to let someone do your stuff for you, you need to trust everything that theyre doing for you. And itll work. Every time.”
On Oct. 15, Alexander messaged his coach about the plan to increase his dosages and asked for more steroids and clenbuterol.
“Yes got it,” Kalick texted.
When Alexanders parents visited from out of town three days later, their son had trouble catching his breath while they walked around a mall. Alexander blamed his intense cardio workouts for heart palpitations and an upset stomach.
His parents had never seen their son so close to a competition, but he assured them it was normal to feel this way before a show.
Alexander consulted his coach and then told his parents the plan: drink a lot of water and kombucha to flush his system and ease his stomach. They stopped at a store to pick up supplies before dropping Alexander at his apartment.
### Text exchange between Daniel Alexander and Dave Kalick
Daniel Alexander
Friday, Sept. 13, 2019
Got liquid and oral clen winny also in the last package
Clen is going good. Body adjusting to it. Very crampy the last 3 days. Lots of cramps. Lots of frequently long cramps.
Dave Kalick
Saturday, Sept. 14, 2019
Take 500mg magnesium with last meal for cramps
start 200mg inj win 2 days week
keep primo at 200mg 2 days a week
mast enanth 200mg 2 days a week
Start tren ace 100mg eod
mast prop 100mg eod
start oral win 50mg with meal 1, 50mg with meal 5
Daniel Alexander
Tuesday, Oct. 15, 2019
Need mast prop, tren Ace and clen
Test will be good through the show
Might need more anavar and winny if we are upping those doses
Daniel Alexander
Thursday, Oct. 17, 2019
We upping winny to 2 tabs 2x a day
Texts edited for length
The bodybuilder also texted a friend who worked as a nurse practitioner: “5% body fat rn. Lots of stims. I have had a very irregular heart beat for over an hour. Becoming painful. Still hard to breathe. Worry?”
She told him to go to urgent care and repeated the advice when he reached out later that evening. “Im pretty sure I got winstrol in my blood during my shot today. Its better. Just not gone,” texted Alexander, referring to a steroid injection hed given himself. “I will go if I feel like Im dying. But being 23 days away from my show I dont want to get pumped with fluids and ruin my physique for not a heart attack.”
The next morning, his coach messaged at 5:45 a.m.: “How is your heart rate?”
Alexander never responded. His friends Aaron and Robyn Wyner said they were on the phone with Kalick when the couple found Alexander in the shower with the water running. They performed CPR until paramedics arrived.
Drugs were everywhere, Aaron Wyner said, and Kalick told him to hide anything out in the open and delete Kalicks messages from Alexanders phone. Wyner said that without thinking, he brushed some pills off a desk into a drawer before someone told him this was a crime scene.
Police recovered more than a dozen different drugs, and an autopsy concluded Alexander died of steroid-induced cardiomyopathy.
Kalick wanted to hold a memorial at Legion Sports Fest, and he paid for the Wyners and Alexanders parents, Janine and Michael, to attend. But when they arrived, they said, they were told show organizers wouldnt let them do anything official. Instead, there was a casual discussion encouraging bodybuilders to get bloodwork done before Kalick spoke briefly about Alexander.
“It felt like we were holding up the show,” Janine Alexander said. “It was more hurtful than it was helpful.”
Kalick did not respond to messages seeking comment. He still features a photo of Alexander on a coaching website under “Transformations & Testimonials.” Alexander is quoted as saying, “Since working with Dave, my body has grown correctly, safely and I have seen nothing but success in the shows I have done. By far the best decision I made in my bodybuilding career.”
But his parents see it very differently. They only learned later, after going through their sons phone, about the details of Kalicks prep for Alexander.
“My son paid for his own death, literally,” his mother said.
##### Dead at 23
Brandon Char-Lee
A year earlier in 2018, police found Brandon Char-Lee dead in his Livermore, Calif., apartment four days before a show. They counted more than 100 needles and multiple vials of steroids.
A friend said Char-Lee was on a strict diet for an upcoming bodybuilding show and “was not allowed to consume water during this time,” the police report stated.
At her sons apartment, Carolyn Char Lunger took photos of the drugs she found, including five types of steroids, clenbuterol, diuretics and a bottle with the label T3 — a thyroid hormone — marked “NOT FOR HUMAN USE.”
A coroner never asked for a full toxicology analysis, according to police records, but concluded the 23-year-old died of cardiac failure and noted a history of using anabolic steroids.
Many coroners and medical examiners do not routinely test for the battery of substances that bodybuilders use, and some dont request toxicology reports at all.
There is little medical research on bodybuilders, and in particular, the stacking of so many different drugs along with months of intense workouts and severe dieting. So when searching for causes of death, medical examiners say they typically look for well-studied links to cardiac arrest or heart failure, such as the use of anabolic steroids.
Char-Lees mother knew that her son was supposed to compete in a bodybuilding contest in Fresno, Calif., and sent photos of the drugs to the shows promoter. She said she wanted answers but instead got an invite to “complete his journey” and attend the bodybuilding competition.
The promoter, Steve OBrien, had served for many years as a vice president of the NPC and a contest judge. Problems with drug use were obvious, he told The Post, and he had warned his own children not to compete in the sport.
But testing athletes rarely came up during meetings with federation officials. Instead, OBrien said, promoters were advised to be prepared at shows with medical personnel.
Bodybuilding has always been a sport of extremes, and the deaths of several high-profile athletes shortly after competing exposed the hazards of diuretics and [steroids in the 1990s](https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/sports/1991/04/09/overdoing-the-gyms-and-drugs-a-bodybuilder-kicks-the-habit/e5040275-23ca-4522-ab06-6d5e19d94583/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template).
At the time, the IFBB was lobbying to make bodybuilding an Olympic sport. The organization began testing for steroids at certain competitions and taking away prize money from those who failed.
“Its not only the image of the sport were concerned with, its the health of the athletes,” Ben Weider, then president of the federation, told the Los Angeles Times in 1990. “Bodybuilding is not body destruction.”
Manion, who has led the NPC for decades, talked in the 1990s about the importance of testing in a story that appeared for years on its website: “In a sense, because some of them wont protect themselves, we have to be protectors of their health and protectors of the sports we love.”
But that story eventually disappeared from the website, and the movement for widespread testing dissipated. The International Olympic Committees provisional recognition of the IFBB lapsed in 2001.
##### Dead at 49
Terri Harris
In 2013, Terri Harris went into cardiac arrest on a stair machine in the gym two days after making her professional debut at the IFBB Tampa Pro.
Her partner, Hal Swaney, said she spent 16 weeks preparing with hours of daily training, a severely restricted diet and a mix of steroids and clenbuterol. Working with her coach, Harris was the leanest shed ever been — about 10 pounds less than her typical stage weight.
The night before the show, Swaney said, she was cramping badly, likely because of diuretics.
“I tried to shove Pedialyte in her and she was afraid she was going to spill over … come into the show with too much water,” Swaney said.
An autopsy report concluded the 49-year-old suffered “sudden cardiac death” during exercising and that an “electrolyte disturbance could not be ruled out.”
Today, there is no widespread drug testing at hundreds of NPC and IFBB Pro shows around the world. These are the most popular federations in the United States and are run by Manion as for-profit businesses. Some select shows, branded as “natural,” claim to test athletes for banned substances by a polygraph test or urine sample.
Since 2017, Manion has been included on the [World Anti-Doping Agency](https://www.wada-ama.org/en?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template)s [Prohibited Association List](https://www.wada-ama.org/sites/default/files/2022-07/asp_list_updated_2022-07.14_final.pdf?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template) aimed at those found to be afoul of the agencys anti-doping code.
The International Fitness and Bodybuilding Federation, a separate organization based in Spain that says it does drug testing, was [sanctioned this fall by the World Anti-Doping Agency](https://www.wada-ama.org/en/news/wada-confirms-non-compliance-international-federation-bodybuilding-and-fitness?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template) for failing to implement an effective testing program and devote sufficient resources to testing. A federation official said “the non-compliant situation is a regular procedure among signatories and it is a temporary situation which will be resolved soon.”
The failure to create or enforce protocols has essentially given the green light for bodybuilders, some in their teens, to experiment with a growing number of unregulated substances to achieve the sculpted physiques that are plastered all over social media. Many athletes say they are tracking down performance-enhancing drugs from underground labs on the internet, sourcing them from as far away as China.
##### Dead at 29
Bostin Loyd
Marie Raia spent more than a decade trying to get her son, Bostin Loyd, off steroids after he started competing in bodybuilding contests as a teen. She even sought the help of high-profile health professionals to confront him and expose the industry.
“Today he had surgery to remove water blisters in his arm from injecting too many needles,” she wrote in 2013 to the “Dr. Phil” television show in an email reviewed by The Post. “His doctor warned me that his liver and kidney will fail if he keeps this up … please take another look at this, the public needs to see what is going on with young kids.”
But they never got the chance to go on the show. Raia knew the sport better than most moms: She was a “natural” bodybuilder who enjoyed competing in drug-tested federations. These are smaller and typically offer less prize money.
When Loyd came home at age 21 with a tattoo that read “Get big or die trying,” Raia wondered how long he would last.
Loyd had suffered for years from kidney problems, and in 2020 he was diagnosed with Stage 5 kidney failure after injecting himself with large doses of a peptide that caused weight loss in monkeys, according to medical records. When he shared the news publicly on Facebook, he said: “I did this to myself with a idiotic experiment and it finally all caught up to me. Do I regret anything? Absolutely not.”
Raia said her son struggled with anxiety and depression after realizing he probably would never compete again. This past February, he collapsed at his home and died at age 29, leaving behind a 3-year-old son. Raia said she found syringes on Loyds kitchen counter that day.
A private autopsy determined he died of a “dissecting aneurysm of ascending aorta,” and also had a severely thickened heart muscle, a “massively enlarged” liver and significant kidney damage that could have been caused by steroids.
Raia still competes at age 63, but she doesnt believe the industry will ever put safeguards in place.
“Theyll lose money. Its the whole thing of bodybuilding — its a freak show,” she said. “They want freaks out there. The freakier you are, the more money you make.”
##### Dead at 43
Mariola Sabanovic-Suarez
Anita Suarez had a pit in her stomach when the phone rang and her son-in-law was on the other line: “Please dont tell me that somethings happened with Mariola.”
It was just days after her daughter, Mariola Sabanovic-Suarez, competed in her first professional bodybuilding contest in the United States. The Dutch athlete had spent about 18 weeks preparing under the guidance of Starnes, the same coach who ended up working with Kosinova and Engle. Starnes was based in Michigan and told clients in emails that he did all of his consulting online.
Suarez knew about the long nights when her daughter stayed awake with hunger pains from her restrictive diet and the hours after hours she trained in the gym. But there were other parts of the contest prep that the 43-year-old kept hidden from her mother.
Three days after the Tampa Pro show in 2019, Sabanovic-Suarez was having trouble breathing in the middle of the night. Hours later, her teenage daughter found her dead in the hotel bed, according to law enforcement records.
Her husband told police that Sabanovic-Suarez had “no existing health concerns” but had been using clenbuterol, along with the steroids Winstrol and Anavar, for the bodybuilding contest. Officers found caffeine pills, and a toxicology analysis also revealed the presence of testosterone and boldenone, a horse steroid that bodybuilders use to build muscle and speed up their metabolism.
The medical examiners office concluded that she died of myocarditis, an [inflammation of the heart](https://www.washingtonpost.com/investigations/interactive/2022/bodybuilding-health-risks/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template) that “may be related to anabolic steroid use.”
A few days later, Starnes posted a tribute to his client on Instagram: “Rest in peace, Mariola. A mother, wife, and sweet soul that passed away far, far too soon. Life is truly fragile and can be taken from us in an instant.”
Starnes, a former bodybuilder and self-described hermit, has coached hundreds of athletes around the world. He boasted on Instagram about his clients transformations, calling them “freak,” “Freak show,” “freakazoid” and “Team Tapeworm.”
Starnes studied psychology in college and has talked repeatedly in interviews about why he almost exclusively coaches women.
“I find that females are a little bit more trusting and just have less of an ego about everything,” Starnes explained in a 2019 interview on the “Revive Stronger” podcast.
### Jodie Engle
Jodie Engle trusted Starnes completely and was pretty much willing to do anything to get that pro card — extreme is how she approached most things in life.
When Engle reached out to Starnes for help in August 2020, she was about 11 weeks away from competition. Her previous coach had gotten sick and a friend had recommended Starnes.
“Im sure we can get you that pro card :)” Starnes wrote to Engle.
His emails always included a disclaimer that he wasnt a doctor or registered dietitian. Starnes had learned coaching simply by doing it. “Youre not going to learn this stuff in books or courses,” he said in a 2020 podcast that aired a few months after he started working with Engle.
She said she had taken performance-enhancing drugs for several years after a judge recommended them as a way to build up her physique more quickly. But Engle had never seen such a detailed and aggressive plan as the one Starnes emailed her after she paid him $900.
Starnes instructed her to stay on clenbuterol and T3 for her entire prep, and added estrogen blockers to her list, according to emails reviewed by The Post. Her coach advised her to keep taking four different steroids, and to layer on three other steroids, including 50 milligrams of Winstrol daily for the last six weeks.
Engle, who worked as a finance manager in Louisville, thought it seemed early for some of the steroids and wondered why Starnes didnt have her cycling on and off clenbuterol the way she normally had.
“I didnt question it. I was just like, Okay, Shelby makes freaks. This is what we do,” Engle said.
She fell off a stair machine and cut her ankle the first week because her blood glucose was too low after her coach slashed carbohydrates. Her cardio doubled from 45 to 90 minutes on some days.
Starnes seemed proud of his new client and posted photos of Engles progress almost every week on Instagram.
“Have a very good feeling about this one!” he wrote in September 2020.
### Email exchange between Jodie Engle and Shelby Starnes
**From:** **Shelby Starnes** **To****:** **Jodie Engle** August 31, 2020 Sounds good Get Dyazide- I dont think the others have Triamterene, just HCTZ **From: Jodie Engle** **To: Shelby Starnes** Ok ill get some! Ill be 100% ready and on plan tomorrow! Lets go get a f---ing pro card!!!! 🥳 🥳 🥳 🥳
Emails edited for length
That same day, Starnes was bragging online about another client, the Czech athlete Kosinova, and posted a video of her flexing her biceps: “Would look great on the Olympia stage.”
About halfway through Engles training, she started getting fevers and her stomach was bloated. She didnt worry too much until she got the diuretic protocol that she said started 10 days before the competition. It ramped up to 200 mg of Aldactone, she said, and added Dyazide starting the night before prejudging.
Engle lost more than six pounds in a week from the diuretics and was cramping on the plane as she headed to the show.
At the competition, her skin was gray under her spray tan, and she had to sit on the floor backstage at one point because it was too difficult to stand. Someone was walking around with cups of Pedialyte for competitors. Engle hadnt drunk for hours — it wasnt on the plan.
When she finally made it onstage, Engle said she almost fell over because she was cramping so badly. But she kept her feet planted and smiled at the judges.
##### Dead at 37
Ashley Gearhart
Ashley Gearhart was in tears, crying on her hotel bed after she accidentally missed the call to the stage for her division at the Pittsburgh Pro Masters in July 2021.
“This is the worst feeling to put in all this hard work and time, effort and money and to put your body through crazy emotions and symptoms,” Gearhart said in a video she posted on Facebook. “You guys have no idea how hungry you can get and how weak you get, how sore your body is and you still have to push through.”
She had been working for years with one of the industrys top coaches, Shane Heugly, and earned her pro card under him. Turning pro helped her attract sponsors and build her own business as a personal trainer.
A few days after the Pittsburgh Pro, Gearhart traveled to Mexico for several surgeries to fix her breast implants and remove back skin from a tummy tuck she had done earlier. She hoped the operations would ease some pain and improve her physique for the ever-critical judges.
And when Gearhart visited her family in California this past January, she bragged about how she had lost 10 pounds in a week.
The morning after she flew home, the 37-year-old mother of two was found dead in the basement of her new house in Colorado. Her boyfriend told police that Gearhart was a bodybuilder and had started seriously dieting to prepare for a competition in July, according to law enforcement records.
“It wasnt unusual for Ashley to wake up in the middle of the night to get something to eat because she was starving,” he told officers.
Heugly, who is listed in the bio on Gearharts Instagram profile, said through an attorney that Gearhart “was not a client” at the time of her death.
Renae Wegner, a former bodybuilder who got a stomach ulcer after taking the toxic chemical DNP to lose weight, said judges are fully aware of concerns in the sport about competitors with extremely low body fat. Since Wegner began judging several years ago, she said, officials have talked about rewarding a softer look, but shes never seen it in practice.
“They do the complete opposite,” Wegner said. “If they didnt reward it, bodybuilders wouldnt be doing it. Bottom line.”
Gearharts death records reveal just how far she was willing to go. A toxicology analysis turned up positive for the diuretic spironolactone — commonly known by its brand name, Aldactone — and metformin, a diabetes medication that bodybuilders use for weight loss. She had other pills at home, including Bronkaid, an asthma medication, and caffeine pills — which coaches have recommended mixing together for weight loss.
Gearhart had prescriptions for metformin, spironolactone and a thyroid medication from Randolph Whipps, the founding physician of LifeMed Institute in Maryland, which bills itself as the largest concierge wellness facility on the East Coast.
But Gearhart did not have any apparent medical conditions that required the use of those prescription drugs, according to Leon Kelly, the El Paso County coroner whose office reviewed her medical records and interviewed family members.
Whipps declined to comment, citing “privacy concerns.”
The coroners office concluded that Gearhart died of cardiac arrest with a number of contributing factors, including caloric restriction, a thickened heart muscle, the use of steroids, diuretics and metformin, along with covid-19.
“You could see clearly the role that the bodybuilding played in all of it,” Kelly said. “It was very clear the impact the training regimen and all the medications had on her death.”
##### Dead at 26
Dallas McCarver
If anyone saw the warning signs of where the industry was headed, it was Guillermo Escalante. He loved bodybuilding and competed at shows in Southern California, not far from Muscle Beach Venice, the place that [Arnold Schwarzenegger](https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/politics/2003/09/28/from-pumping-iron-to-pushing-political-ideas/a82d38e7-a92d-47dd-b505-6fc8aa5cda19/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template) and other popular bodybuilders had called home.
As an athletic trainer and a professor of kinesiology, Escalante also recognized the dangers. Bodybuilders routinely showed up to contests in distress — cramping, fainting, hearts racing.
He offered to provide basic care for athletes after a competitor collapsed at a 2011 show in Culver City and then died at a hospital.
For years, he spent weekends trekking to contests with his black medical bag. In 2015, at the California State Championships, Escalante said he came across 24-year-old Dallas McCarver struggling with dizziness and cramps — signs of too many diuretics. After checking his vital signs and offering Pedialyte, Escalante said McCarver managed to get back onstage and take first place.
But Escalante was worried again when the young bodybuilder collapsed onstage at the Arnold Classic Australia two years later. After withdrawing from the show in March 2017, McCarver posted on Instagram about a respiratory infection he was fighting along with “being in a depleted/dehydrated state for the past three weeks straight.”
McCarver said in his post that he had discussed pulling out of the competition earlier with his coach, Chad Nicholls. But the two of them decided to press on. Nicholls, who did not respond to messages seeking comment, was a former bodybuilder. He had worked for years in the industry and knew how despondent athletes felt leading up to shows. A bodybuilding clients friend once called Nicholls because he was worried that the athlete — who was training for the Olympia — was sick and asked if he should take him to the hospital.
“No you shouldnt take him to the f---ing hospital,” Nicholls recounted in a 2020 interview with the “Real Bodybuilding Podcast.” “I go, This is what hes supposed to feel like. ... At that lowest point you feel like youre dying, like you feel like your body is just shutting down.”
The fragile state of bodybuilders before contests is a stark contrast to the condition of most elite athletes before competing — at the peak of fitness.
Rumors swirled about McCarvers health after he was carried offstage. So the bodybuilder posted a video with one of his supplement sponsors, Aaron Singerman of Redcon1.
##### BUILT&BROKEN
A Washington Post investigation into the world of bodybuilding. This multipart series explores the exploitation of women, the health risks to athletes and the man who runs the largest federations in the United States.
Have a tip on the bodybuilding world? Email the reporters at builtandbroken@washpost.com.
“Im not dying. My kidneys aint failing. My hearts not shutting down,” McCarver said, having trouble catching his breath.
But a doctors visit shortly after did confirm he had heart problems, according to autopsy records.
He continued training and posted frequently with Redcon1 about adding more muscle, fueled by the companys line of supplements.
Most professional bodybuilders cant earn a living on the limited prize money from contests, so they rely on contracts with companies like Redcon1 to help pay for coaches and travel.
In August 2017, months after collapsing onstage, McCarver was found unresponsive on his living room floor. Police collected pills by the couch, vials of drugs in the refrigerator. They identified steroids, growth hormones, peptides and estrogen blockers, according to law enforcement records.
An autopsy found the 26-year-old had a massively enlarged heart, kidneys and liver. The medical examiner noted that “chronic use of exogenous steroid and non-steroid hormones” contributed to McCarvers “premature death.”
##### Dead at 31
Luke Sandoe
Just months after McCarver died, Escalante came across a seriously ill Luke Sandoe at a competition in California.
The British bodybuilder had recently competed at the Arnold Classic Australia. His coach, Chris Aceto, proposed Sandoe start using diuretics about a week before the show. The bodybuilder seemed a little nervous.
“That is early lol Im sure youve done it a couple times this way before :)” Sandoe emailed in March 2018, according to messages reviewed by The Post.
“I do everything different,” Aceto responded.
Several days before the Arnold Classic, Aceto emailed Sandoe to take the diuretic Aldactone every 12 hours and discussed adding a second diuretic.
Sandoe made it through that competition in Australia, but he vomited twice during prejudging at the show in California a few months later, according to an email Sandoe sent to contest organizers. Escalante said he saw Sandoe having labored breathing and trouble holding his poses. After taking his vital signs, Escalante told him to go straight to the hospital.
When he followed up with Sandoe a few days later, the bodybuilder messaged back: “Honestly. If I didnt go in, I wouldve died. My potassium was sky high, so dehydrated my kidneys all but shut down.”
On May 31, Aceto checked in with his client: “Really sorry for way everything went down this last week.”
“We play with fire in this game and sometimes things get burned :)” Sandoe responded.
He was a little more blunt about what happened when he got back home to the United Kingdom. Sandoe said the vomiting, combined with the diuretics he was advised to use by Aceto, put him in a life-threatening situation.
“I think Chris also forgot how much diuretics he was giving me to use. I didnt use all of what he told me because I just didnt have them with me,” Sandoe said during a June 2018 episode of “The Size Game” podcast he co-hosted. “I dont know whether he just forgot what he was doing with me or whether he had too many other clients.”
Sandoe immediately faced a wave of backlash for speaking out and blaming Aceto, one of the top coaches for male bodybuilders. Sandoe emailed an apology to Aceto that August “for the way things spiralled out of control.”
They made amends, and shortly after, Sandoe signed on with Redcon1. As part of the sponsorship contract, Redcon1 agreed to pay Acetos coaching fee, which was $3,500 in 2020, according to an email exchange between Sandoe and a company official.
The agreement, which paid Sandoe $12,000 a month, had a lot of stipulations: Sandoe was expected to post at least once a day on Instagram and any other social platforms as directed by the company; be filmed daily for advertising and marketing; and make up to 24 appearances a year, among other requirements.
### Email exchange between Luke Sandoe and Chris Aceto
**From: Chris Aceto** **To: Luke Sandoe** May 31, 2018 Ok. Really sorry for way everything went down this last week **From: Luke Sandoe** **To: Chris Aceto** Thanks Chris. We play with fire in this game and sometimes things get burned :)
Emails edited for length
Sandoes family said he built a gym in his home with his own money during the pandemic in part to meet his obligations. And he kept on training, hoping to compete once restrictions were lifted.
But that never happened. Sandoe died in May 2020 at age 31, leaving behind two children. A cardiac pathologist noted in a report that Sandoe had an enlarged heart with acute left ventricular failure and left ventricular hypertrophy.
“The underlying cause of his cardiac enlargement is likely to be his bodybuilding,” the report concluded.
Sandoes family said they didnt know the full extent of performance-enhancing drugs that he used, but emails document him talking with Aceto about insulin injections and purchasing growth hormones from an Austrian pharmacist who instructed Sandoe to delete their emails.
Aceto declined to talk about Sandoe or answer questions about the risks of bodybuilding.
“No, it sounds like a shakedown to me, kind of like a little blackmailing. Youre being recorded by the way,” Aceto told a Post reporter.
Aceto, a former bodybuilder with a bachelors degree in health fitness, has worked in the industry for several decades.
When asked about his other former clients who had health issues and died under the age of 50, including Cedric McMillan and Shawn Rhoden, Aceto noted that athletes die in football, too.
Two days before Sandoe died, Redcon1 issued its last check to the athlete. The company had already slashed his pay 40 percent during the pandemic, according to emails.
But Redcon1 did briefly sell T-shirts with Sandoes photo on them in the immediate aftermath of his death — as it did with McCarver. The company eventually removed Sandoes shirts “to respect Lukes family and provide them time \[to\] mourn their loss.”
Nearly two years after Sandoes death, Singerman, the founder of Redcon1, was sentenced to 54 months in prison for conspiring to sell illegal anabolic steroids and other products marketed as dietary supplements by Blackstone Labs, another business he helped start.
Federal prosecutors said Singerman and other company officials ignored injury reports from consumers and failed to notify the Food and Drug Administration of such complaints. Singerman and Blackstones chief executive were also ordered to forfeit $5.9 million.
Redcon1 officials, along with Singerman and his attorneys, did not respond to multiple messages seeking comment.
Prosecutors, in their sentencing memo, referenced Singermans lack of remorse during a speech he gave at a holiday party for Redcon1 last December: “The truth is I wouldnt change anything. I wouldnt do anything differently.”
Singerman, after serving less than a year, was released from prison last week.
### THE QUESTIONERS
Clarisse began bodybuilding when she was in college, but the contest prep was so intense that she abandoned the sport for several years.
Clarisse, who spoke on the condition that her full name not be used for fear of retaliation, decided to give it another try in 2021.
She said she hired Heugly as her coach — he was everywhere on Instagram getting bikini competitors their pro cards.
Clarisse said that she had wanted to compete naturally but that her body wasnt responding to her new coachs plan. She was sometimes working out two hours a day and eating under 1,000 calories.
Early on, Heugly texted Clarisse asking what supplements she was using and whether she wanted to take fat burners, according to messages reviewed by The Post.
“Do you recommend any specific one?” she asked.
“Obviously due to it being an extreme sport most use Clen,” Heugly texted, appearing to refer to clenbuterol. “Some make EC with Caffeine and bronkaid or primatene tablets.”
Clarisse was struggling mentally, too, posting online how she felt like crying for days and wondering if it was because she was always hungry. She could barely get out of bed.
In June 2021, she asked Heugly whether it was possible to add more muscle before the show and her coach texted, “Absolutely. All of our girls do. Obviously anabolics help a lot.”
He later detailed dosages for the steroid Anavar, along with clenbuterol. She said she began feeling even worse and cut ties with her coach in late July.
Justin Heideman, an attorney for Heugly, said the coach has advised certain athletes to do two hours of cardio but “Shane does not sell, distribute, promote or require any PED use. In fact Shane has frequently advised clients to reduce or minimize PED use that the client had previously elected to engage in.”
Heugly, who is based in Utah, listed on his website a bachelors degree in exercise sport science as well as a bachelors of education in health promotion from the University of Utah. When questioned about Heuglys academic credentials, his attorney acknowledged that the coach did not have a bachelors in exercise sport science and said he has since amended his website.
Heugly is also certified as a “performance enhancement specialist” by the National Academy of Sports Medicine, according to its online directory. The academy said it does not condone the use of performance-enhancing drugs or coaches who advise clients to take them.
Clarisse blamed herself at first for not being one of Heuglys pro card success stories. But within weeks, she began to question her coachs methods after other female bodybuilders started talking online about contest prep that they considered dangerous.
One of Heuglys former clients posted anonymous messages on Instagram that she said came from athletes who had worked with him. Shortly after, Heugly filed a defamation lawsuit seeking $6.8 million in damages. He alleged that the “republished messages” were false and asked a judge for a restraining order to force her to take them down.
Heugly attached exhibits with the lawsuit that included some of the messages: “Im suffering from noncardiogenic pulmonary edema. Having taken water pills and the use of clen, it just knocked me outta whack.” Another post read: “The peds, the 2-3 hrs cardio, sub 1k cals.”
The posts were voluntarily removed, but Heugly didnt drop the lawsuit. A judge ultimately denied the restraining order, saying it would be adverse to the public interest and infringe on First Amendment rights. The case is pending.
Clarisse said she was one of the athletes who had their stories reposted, and she watched in dismay as Heugly tried to silence concerns. She had hoped, instead, that he would change his tactics.
“I dont think that this needs to be something that is this dangerous,” Clarisse said. “I think it can be done in a way thats a lot more healthy.”
Escalante had tried for years to make bodybuilding safer. He brought his medical bag around to shows and helped dozens of competitors.
For his day job as a professor at California State University at San Bernardino, he researched extreme contest prep measures and discovered cardiovascular abnormalities in the autopsies of bodybuilders who died under age 50. He and his co-authors found that bodybuilders had an average heart weight that was about 74 percent heavier than the typical male.
But he knew that wasnt enough. He still worried about athletes relying on coaches mixing and matching performance-enhancing drugs without realizing the consequences.
“Youre basically left with somebody who doesnt understand pharmacology, who doesnt understand how these drugs interact and this is who youre listening to,” said Escalante, who still competes in shows. “Its just a recipe for disaster.”
After the death last year of Kosinova and other bodybuilders within a few weeks, Escalante decided to go straight to the top of the industry. He wrote to the owner of the Olympia contest and to Victor Prisk, a doctor who was friends with Jim Manion, the head of the NPC and the IFBB Pro, according to messages reviewed by The Post.
“I wanted to see if you could help me set up a meeting with Jim and Tyler Manion sometime in the near future,” Escalante wrote in an Aug. 21, 2021, text message to Prisk. “As a physician and bodybuilder, Im sure youve seen the recent tragic deaths of 3 competitors over the last couple of weeks. I want to help make positive changes to make our sport safer as Im sure you do.”
Prisk later responded that he talked to Jim Manion about several ideas, including putting together a safety guide for judges and creating a panel of physicians to help with blood testing and other possible testing for competitors who feel they are being subjected to unsafe techniques.
Prisk, who has also worked as a contest judge, declined to comment to The Post. Nobody, Escalante thought, wanted to take responsibility.
“It really has to come from a place outside of the NPC/IFBB,” Prisk wrote.
### THE SURVIVORS
For years, Maggy Kheir never questioned anything that Starnes advised. Not the 120 micrograms of clenbuterol the 22-year-old was on days before the first show they did together, according to emails reviewed by The Post. Not the diuretics she said he gave her. Not the increase in thyroid medication he recommended — above the dosage that her doctor prescribed.
“I really think 10mcg daily is really low though,” Starnes wrote in a May 2019 email. “Even 25mcg daily is low.”
“I think my primary doctor started me off on a low dosage because its whats safe,’” Kheir responded.
After that first show with Starnes, Kheir said she struggled with thyroid and hormonal problems, along with depression. In 2021, she felt ready to compete again and signed up for another prep.
In emails, her coach advised her to get the steroid Anavar and detailed dosages. When Kheir tried to get clenbuterol in August 2021 — two weeks before Kosinova died — her doctors office said their pharmacy didnt carry it: “Nor is it one that I recommend for my competitors. It is not a legal medication in the US. It is approved for horses only.”
Kheir stopped working with Starnes shortly after and then left the sport entirely.
She said Kosinovas death was a wake-up call: “I care about my health. I care about my femininity. I care about being able to have kids one day. Its just not worth a plastic trophy.”
Kosinovas son declined to comment.
### Email exchange between Maggy Kheir and Shelby Starnes
**From: Maggy Kheir** **To: Shelby Starnes** August 9, 2018 CURRENT WEIGHT: so 137lbs at home on my scale. Been ages since Ive seen that number on the scale! Also, thank you so much for the diuretics. I really appreciate it Coach! Youve been nothing but a blessing& a huge help in my life. **From: Shelby Starnes** **To: Maggy Kheir** Wow!  Excellent report Maggy - youre tightening up very nicely. I dont want to change anything right now -lets keep rolling as is and update again Saturday Glad you got the diuretics!
Emails edited for length
But other clients rushed to the coachs defense after news of Kosinovas death spread throughout the bodybuilding community. Trisha Vezirian Smick detailed the precise dosages she used to achieve her peak week look with clenbuterol, T3 and diuretics.
“Never pushed — merely presented and accepted BY ME! This has always been MY EXPERIENCE with Coach @shelbystarnes100 `#beresponsible` `#takeownership` `#beaccountable`.”
Smick had been working with Starnes after earning her pro card with Heugly as her coach.
She gave another shout-out to Starnes this past summer when she announced her retirement from bodybuilding: “I will be eternally grateful for all that we have accomplished together as a team.”
The end of her career was unexpected. At first, Smick blamed the fatigue and heaviness in her chest on the stress of contest prep. The 54-year-old was training to make her debut in the bodybuilding division — the most difficult category, requiring intense conditioning and muscle mass.
But it was far more serious: Smick told The Post she visited urgent care in July and was then sent to a hospital, where she went into cardiac arrest. Doctors put her into a medically induced coma.
“They felt like the performance-enhancing drugs definitely led to it,” she said of the doctors.
Smick said she took drugs willingly in her pursuit of getting bigger, getting harder.
“I put all accountability on myself because I was the one who made decisions to do whatever it is I did,” Smick said. “But I was devastated — absolutely still am.”
### Jodie Engle
Engle is also trying to wrap her head around the reality she is now facing.
Weeks after she won her pro card in 2020, the bodybuilder ended up hospitalized. She emailed Starnes that doctors had diagnosed her with rhabdomyolysis, a potentially fatal condition that can be caused by overuse of diuretics.
“They said my kidneys were under more stress than they could handle,” she wrote on Dec. 14, 2020.
Starnes didnt acknowledge her illness in his response: “Lets stay on the diet plan (the off day plan) on all days for right now, but cut the carb portions all in HALF. No cardio or training for now. Lets see how the next handful of days go.”
Engle said she was put on bed rest for six weeks and struggled to get better over the next six months. In June 2021 she started prepping again with Starnes, but her health deteriorated over the next several weeks.
On Aug. 16 — hours after Kosinova died — Engle wrote to Starnes that she hadnt checked in the previous week because shed been hospitalized again after having shortness of breath and swelling in her limbs.
“The doctor told me the diuretics are what put the strain on my heart without question.. that apparently my heart never recovered from them,” Engle wrote. “Maybe one day after a potential open heart surgery to get my heart valves pumping properly again I could come back for more lifestyle type things... because my pro career is done before I ever got to start it.”
“Damn, very sorry to hear that Jodie,” Starnes responded that day. “Thats a lot to process :( Why dont we continue lifestyle coaching for now? Having a goal/ something to work towards would help mentally and physically, no?”
“I just cant even lie when I say I am completely heartbroken over this,” Engle wrote back. “Ive never felt so low. Like I worked so hard for years on end.. for diuretics to end my career.”
Engle was back in the hospital three days after writing Starnes with chest pains, acute kidney injury, dehydration and cellulitis, among other conditions, according to medical records.
### Email exchange between Jodie Engle and Shelby Starnes
**From: Shelby Starnes**  **To: Jodie Engle** August 16, 2021 Damn :( You can still diet and do cardio and some training? Any limitations? **From: Jodie Engle**  **To: Shelby Starnes** As of this moment all I can do is diet. Im allowed zero activity that raises my heart rate. My heart valves arent pumping correctly. They are all pumping 3 times the beat of my regular heart which then floods my heart with to much blood and then my heart pours blood into other organs… so anything that raises my heart rate I currently am not allowed to do.  **From: Shelby Starnes**  **To: Jodie Engle** Ok understood. Lets do a check in soon - today or tomorrow, and well keep chipping away with diet for now Hey - you achieved IFBB PRO STATUS - thats something that very few will ever do.
Emails edited for length
She avoided heart surgery, but doctors told her its only a matter of time before she will need a kidney transplant.
Now 31, the single mom has a new set of drugs to take, including blood pressure medication, beta blockers and prednisone. She frequently has swelling in her legs and ankles and she is recovering from a shoulder replacement surgery.
Engle said she would give her pro card back in an instant — just for one day to live in her old body.
“My life is worth more than this little card,” she said. “And every single athletes life … is worth more than a card.”
*Have a tip on the bodybuilding world? Email the reporters at* [*builtandbroken@washpost.com*](mailto:builtandbroken@washpost.com?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template)*.*
##### About this story
Thessa Lageman, [Alice Crites](https://www.washingtonpost.com/people/alice-crites/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template), [Stefano Pitrelli](https://www.washingtonpost.com/people/stefano-pitrelli/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template), [Niha Masih](https://www.washingtonpost.com/people/niha-masih/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template), Nick Trombola, [Desmond Butler](https://www.washingtonpost.com/people/desmond-butler/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template), [Loveday Morris](https://www.washingtonpost.com/people/loveday-morris/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template), [Amanda Coletta](https://www.washingtonpost.com/people/amanda-coletta/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template), [Helen Fessenden](https://www.washingtonpost.com/people/helen-fessenden/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template), [John Sullivan](https://www.washingtonpost.com/people/john-sullivan/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template), Yvonne Condes, [Monika Mathur](https://www.washingtonpost.com/people/monika-mathur/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template), [Razzan Nakhlawi](https://www.washingtonpost.com/people/razzan-nakhlawi/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template), Magda Jean-Louis, and [Claire Healy](https://www.washingtonpost.com/people/claire-healy/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template) contributed to this report.
Additional contributors from the American University-Washington Post practicum program are Hayden Godfrey, Solène Guarinos, Ron Simon III, Alexandra Rivera, Alexander Fernandez and Lalini Pedris.
Lead editing by [Trish Wilson](https://www.washingtonpost.com/people/trish-wilson/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template) and [Jeff Leen](https://www.washingtonpost.com/people/jeff-leen/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template). Project management by [KC Schaper](https://www.washingtonpost.com/people/kc-schaper/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template).
Design and development by [Jake Crump](https://www.washingtonpost.com/people/jake-crump/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template). Art direction by [Natalie Vineberg](https://www.washingtonpost.com/people/natalie-vineberg/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template). Design editing by [Christian Font](https://www.washingtonpost.com/people/christian-font/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template).
Photography by [Marvin Joseph](https://www.washingtonpost.com/people/marvin-joseph/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template). Photo editing by [Robert Miller](https://www.washingtonpost.com/people/robert-miller/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template). Illustration by Tim McDonagh.
Copy editing by [Stu Werner](https://www.washingtonpost.com/people/stu-werner/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template) and Wayne Lockwood. Additional editing, production and support by Jordan Melendrez and Jenna Lief.
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Date: 2022-07-10
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TimeStamp: 2022-07-10
Link: https://www.washingtonpost.com/dc-md-va/interactive/2022/gay-dc-cop-parson-teen-florida-arrest/
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# Brett Parson, gay D.C. cop arrested in Florida, divides LGBTQ community
He had cinched cuffs around hundreds of wrists as a D.C. police officer, but now Brett Parsons own hands were being placed behind his back.
“So Ill let you know guys, right now, that until I talk to an attorney, I wont talk to anybody,” Parson said.
The police in Boca Raton, Fla., guided him toward their cruiser as their body cameras recorded the encounter.
“I think I know exactly what its about. Its a brand-new warrant, right?” Parson guessed. “Brand-new? Issued probably this morning?”
“Yep,” answered one officer. They were outside the condo where Parsons parents lived. Hed been staying with them to help his father recover from a surgery.
On this February morning, hed taken the trash out, not knowing detectives were waiting for him outside. They asked for the keys to his fathers red convertible. They asked him to turn over his phone.
Parson, 53, instructed them not to search anything without a warrant.
“I know what it is youre looking for,” he said.
Around 12:30 a.m. the night before, Parson had been pulled over by officers from Coconut Creek, whod seen him driving the red convertible near a quiet office park 20 minutes away. Police reported they watched as the convertible followed a gray sedan into a parking lot. Both cars made a U-turn and returned to the road. The gray sedan then pulled into a fenced-off area with an empty field and a Comcast tower. The gate, which should have been locked, was open. What were these drivers doing there in the middle of the night? The officers stopped both cars.
Parson told them they were mistaken. He wasnt following the gray sedan. He was just lost and looking for Interstate 95.
“Im a cop from D.C.,” he said. In reality, he had been retired and only a reserve officer for two years.
LEFT: D.C. Police Lt. Brett Parson speaks during a meeting of D.C.'s Hate Bias Task Force in 2019. (Michael E. Miller/TWP) RIGHT: Parson, shown here in 2005, was known nationally and internationally as a pioneer of gay rights in policing. (Carol Guzy/The Washington Post)
They let him drive away. Then they went to talk to the driver of the gray sedan.
The window rolled down to reveal a thin White boy. He said he had pulled over to text a friend. The officer told the boy he didnt believe him. In his report, he described what the teenager — who turned out to be 16 did next.
“He dropped his head, took a deep breath, and stated he met the guy who was following behind him online and they were meeting to hook up.
The teenager began to tell the officers the story he would repeat at least three times that night, including at the sexual assault treatment center where he was taken after his parents were called.
Hed met Parson on Growlr, a dating app for gay men that requires users to be 18. Hed lied about his birthday to use the app, claiming he was 18. He said he and Parson exchanged oral sex in the parking lot of a day care.
He said he knew Parson used to be a police officer.
What he didnt know was that Parson was not just any police officer. The man who had just driven away was known nationally and internationally as a pioneer of gay rights in policing.
In the nations capital, [Parson built an award-winning liaison unit](https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/politics/2005/03/28/the-stewards-of-gay-washington/c8cfcce2-1376-46c6-aa62-b563d134c50b/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template) that investigated hate crimes, befriended advocates and marched in Pride parades, slowly revolutionizing the relationship between the police and the citys LGBTQ community. People saw him everywhere: dance clubs and book clubs, hospital bedsides and funeral homes, early-morning court hearings and late-night domestic disputes.
The citys [2019 guide to Pride](https://issuu.com/capitalpride/docs/guide_final_2019?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template) called Parson a “living legend.” The Department of Justice, the State Department, Amnesty International, the Southern Poverty Law Center and other police departments relied on his expertise.
Now, he was going to jail. The warrant for [his arrest](https://www.washingtonpost.com/dc-md-va/2022/02/16/parson-charged-dc-police/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template) listed two counts of unlawful sexual activity. If convicted, he could face a prison sentence and a lifetime as a registered sex offender. Under Florida law, claiming to be misled about the age of a victim [cannot](http://www.leg.state.fl.us/statutes/index.cfm?App_mode=Display_Statute&Search_String=&URL=0700-0799%2F0794%2FSections%2F0794.021.html&itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template) be used as a legal defense.
Parsons arrest stunned the legions of people who admired him, leaving them with questions about what exactly happened in Florida and whether it represented some sort of mistake or a serious betrayal.
Months later, they are still without answers. The case, which depends largely on the involvement of a 16-year-old identified only by his initials, is moving slowly. It will be months, and possibly years, before a judge or jury determines Parsons fate.
While the former lieutenant waits for his future to be decided, those who put their trust in him for so long are revisiting his past. This story is based on public records and interviews with more than three dozen people whose lives and work Parson influenced during his 26-year career. They are grappling with the person they thought they knew — and the power he wielded for so long.
Parson, who has pleaded not guilty to the charges, did not respond to repeated interview requests.
On the morning of his Feb. 12 arrest, Parson frequently reminded the officers taking him into custody that he, too, was a cop. He commented on their equipment, mentioned he was scheduled to teach at the FBI National Academy, mused about what his approach to this kind of warrant would be and joked about his own history of stuffing large men into cramped back seats.
“With all due — we know who you are, sir,” an officer informed him. “Your credentials dont matter. … Its nothing to do with how this is being handled.”
“I understand,” Parson said. He thanked them for being caring.
They confiscated his loaded Glock 26, explained to his parents what was happening and slammed the cruiser door.
“F---,” Parson said, “Its weird being on this side.”
### Ending fairy shaking
Parsons reputation as a gay hero began with a scandal. In the late 1990s, while Parson was building a career in narcotics investigations, another D.C. officer was stationing himself outside a gay club in Southeast Washington. He was watching for men leaving the club who were wearing wedding rings or getting into cars with baby seats. He wrote down their license plates, found their contact information and called them. Pay $10,000, he said, or hed expose them to their wives and employers.
The scheme was known as “[fairy shaking](https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/politics/1997/11/30/lt-stowes-sudden-fall-from-grace/a6ac37f2-57d2-47fb-b6da-0f8f6a45dde8/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template).”
It eventually led to an FBI investigation, a nearly two-year prison sentence for the officer and the resignation of the chief of police.
To those in the LGBTQ community, the extortion was just the latest example of mistreatment by a police force with a [decades-long history](http://www.glaa.org/archive/2003/rosendallmpdhistory1119.shtml?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template) of targeting [vulnerable queer people](https://outhistory.org/exhibits/show/glaa-of-washington-dc/item/1011?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template).
“There was an overall mistrust,” remembers Peter Newsham, who later became police chief. “There was a feeling that they couldnt call the police and ensure that the police officer who came to the door was going to treat them with dignity.”
The chief installed after the scandal, Charles Ramsey, saw a solution to that problem: bolstering and broadening a newly formed Gay and Lesbian Liaison Unit.
Parson, then in his early 30s, had been openly gay since he joined the force. Hed grown up in the area and, after working as a National Hockey League referee, became a police officer in 1994.
He didnt want the job as head of the unit. But Ramsey, as Parson told the story, didnt give him a choice.
\[[The victims of D.C.s record year of hatred](https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/2019/local/dc-hate-crimes/?itid=lk_interstitial_enhanced-template) \]
“I was wearing plain clothes, driving an undercover car, growing my hair out, wearing my gun on my ankle, jumping out on felony drug dealers, and flipping them for homicide cases. It was the assignment of a lifetime,” Parson later told the Community Policing Dispatch newsletter. “I was really, really afraid that my reputation was going to change from being a good cop who happened to be gay, to being a gay cop that used to be a good cop.”
Instead, he became renowned for professionalizing the unit, balancing a law-and-order approach with what was then a relatively new idea: true community policing. Rather than raid gay clubs, Parson and the five to 15 members of his unit would announce themselves over the loudspeaker, then walk around, introduce themselves and pass out refrigerator magnets with their phone number on it. The number was the workaround for those in the community who needed help, but worried about the repercussions of calling 911: a gay man experiencing domestic abuse from his partner or a transgender woman wanting to report a hate crime.
“Nowadays, its not appreciated how ground-breaking and innovative it was,” said Kurt Vorndran, who served on the D.C. Police Complaints Board for 15 years. “Those of us who were advocates at the time, we were blown away. And Brett, his personality, his skill and his professionalism was a major factor in all of this.”
TOP LEFT: Parson regularly trained other officers on the force about LGBTQ issues. (Carol Guzy/The Washington Post) TOP RIGHT: Parson, right, walks into a funeral beside then-Chief Charles Ramsey in 2005. (Carol Guzy/The Washington Post) BOTTOM LEFT: Parson joins Rabbi Shmuel Herzfeld of Ohev Sholom in Washington for a prayer service in 2018. (Bill O'Leary/The Washington Post) BOTTOM RIGHT: Parson provides comfort at a memorial service for LGBTQ activist Wanda Alston in 2005. (Carol Guzy/The Washington Post)
Within three years of Parsons being put in charge, the unit won a distinguished service award from the citys Gay and Lesbian Activists Alliance, an organization formed in part to protest discrimination by law enforcement. [LGBTQ rights pioneer Frank Kameny](https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/retropolis/wp/2017/06/11/from-restrained-to-radical-to-raucous-a-history-of-pride-celebrations-in-the-u-s/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template), who became a national icon after he was fired from his job for his sexuality, handed the award to Parson.
“No longer are the police our enemy,” Kameny [declared](https://www.metroweekly.com/2003/04/shaping-the-city/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template).
In time, the unit and the LGBTQ community worked in tandem to aid the department in solving crimes, including the murders of several transgender women in the city.
“\[Brett\] would call me, you know, I dont care what time of morning it was,” remembers Earline Budd, a longtime advocate for the citys transgender and sex worker communities. “He would wake me up and he would say, Ms. Budd, we are on the scene of a double homicide.”
Budd would help identify the victims, then see Parson at every memorial and funeral that followed, and every community meeting about stopping the next act of violence. Though Parson did stints elsewhere in the department, he returned again and again to what was renamed the LGBTQ Liaison Unit, eventually overseeing the departments entire Special Liaison Branch. He trained recruits, retrained old-timers and consulted with departments across the country trying to replicate what he had built.
“He made me feel safe,” said Kisha Allure, who works in victims services at Casa Ruby, an LGBTQ support center.
But she knew that wasnt true for everyone.
When Parson walked into a support group unannounced, she saw the uneasiness in the eyes of transgender women, especially women of color, meeting him for the first time.
He looked to many like a TV version of a cop: White and male, big and burly, always armed and always in uniform. Parson boasted that, on a police force with few openly gay cops, his imposing figure earned him respect.
“Im 6 foot, I weigh about 295 pounds, I have experience in professional athletics and ice hockey — there arent a lot of people lining up to f--- with me” he told a podcast interviewer in 2021.
What some took as Parson being direct and authoritative, others saw as arrogant and aggressive.
“He exerted his power. In some cases, he used it to stop hate, harm and death in our community, even when it wasnt popular to do so,” said June Crenshaw, director of the Wanda Alston Foundation. “But its hard to turn that power off.”
Parson was furious in 2017 when, following protests of police participation in the citys annual Pride parade, the LGBTQ Liaison Unit was asked not to march. He became so heated during a meeting with organizers that Sheila Alexander-Reid, the mayors director of LGBTQ affairs, had to calm him down.
“He was hurt that his own community would have the nerve to ask him not to be a part of the parade after all he had done,” Alexander-Reid remembered.
Parson reluctantly agreed to a compromise: He and his officers would wear D.C. police polos instead of full uniforms. But by 2019, he was ignoring the new policy, marching again in uniform down the parade route. That same week, when other members of his unit were asked to leave a Latinx Pride event, Parson returned with them 30 minutes later. He took the microphone and made a speech.
“He just walked up the church aisle, armed, this \[cisgender\] White man, all upset because somebody told his people not to be there,” remembered Nancy Cañas, who organized the event.
Some of Parsons fellow officers, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to speak to the media, said they were aware of concerns about his behavior.
An investigative report from the Office of Police Complaints describes a night in 2006 when Parson was monitoring 18th Street NW. A cabdriver did not properly pull over to the curb. Parsons solution: open the door, grab the driver by his shirt and rip him out of the vehicle. Parson took the taxi and drove it down the street.
“You cant do that,” the cabs stranded passengers told him. According to the complaint, Parson replied, “Shut the f--- up, b----, you dont know what youre talking about!”
Parson denied using foul language. But when asked by investigators about removing the driver from his cab, Parson replied that he had done this on “hundreds of occasions.”
The investigator found that Parson had engaged in harassment and use of excessive or unnecessary force. His punishment, a D.C. police spokesman said, was a letter in his personnel file.
On another night two years later, Parson stopped by the nightclub Town Danceboutique, where dozens of people were in line to get into what was advertised as “D.C.s biggest Pride party.” According to a deposition he gave after he was sued for his behavior that night, he was planning to pass out magnets. Instead, he chased down a woman who appeared to be putting something in her mouth. Once he stopped her and her friends, he saw a young White man walking away from the same area.
“Hey partner, come with me for a second,” Parson said, according to his 2009 deposition.
“What did I do?” the man replied as he kept walking.
Parson grabbed his arm. The man yanked it away. Parson grabbed him harder, turned and threw him through a plate-glass window.
Parsons explanation was that he was trying to pin the man up against a brick wall, and missed. The man, who declined to comment because he did not want to revisit that night, was crouched in the fetal position. He was covered in shattered glass and bleeding from his head. Parson was still trying to put him in handcuffs.
“Im yelling over and over again, Stop resisting, put your arms behind your back, ” Parson stated in the deposition. “The crowd is screaming at me. I cant hear him, but hes yelling and I, eventually, use my weight to, kind of, push my body weight down on top of him.”
Parson charged the man with assaulting a police officer.
After a trip to the hospital and a night in jail, the charges were dropped. Records show the city settled the case for $17,500.
But whether Parson was disciplined for this incident — and whether there are other use-of-force incidents are on his record — remains unclear.
Police officials declined to release Parsons disciplinary record or answer questions about it, citing the former lieutenants right to privacy. The department terminated Parson from its reserve force after his arrest in Florida. A spokesman said Parson is not under investigation in D.C., and there is nothing in his record to suggest he had inappropriate contact with anyone in the District.
As Parsons use-of-force cases were handled by police internally, his profile outside the city grew. He hosted and attended international conferences for LGBTQ law enforcement. He starred in a Justice Department training video on how police should treat the transgender community. He traveled to Vietnam and the Philippines for the State Department.
Eventually, those familiar with his decision said, he realized he could make far more money outside the department than the $121,000 records show he was making annually as a lieutenant. Parson retired in February 2020 to start his own consulting firm.
In the wake of George Floyds murder by a Minneapolis police officer, he began traveling around the country to train police on how to intervene when a fellow officer uses excessive force.
“Were not just policing others,” Parson [told NBC4](https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/we-have-to-police-ourselves-dc-program-trains-officers-to-intervene-and-prevent-harm/2444012/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template). “We have to police ourselves.”
### I like younger
The teen messaged Parson first.
“Hey,” he wrote at 10:21 p.m., “how are you.”
Parsons Growlr profile identified him as a 53-year-old in an open relationship. His job was listed as LEO, an acronym for law enforcement officer.
“I like younger,” Parsons profile stated. “Just a regular guy looking for the same. Staying in Fort Lauderdale for the week.”
According to screenshots of Parsons messages with the teenager obtained through public records requests, Parson replied that night: “Good. U?”
The 16-year-olds profile listed his age as 18. It described him as 5-foot-7 and 140 pounds. From a list of words to describe himself, one he chose was “boy.” The term is sometimes used by adults in the gay community who identify or present as youthful.
Parson and the teenager unlocked the apps “private media” feature, allowing them to see revealing pictures of each other. Though the boys photos are not part of public records, he later told officers that they included pictures of his body and his face. In one explicit text message, Parson commented on how skinny he was.
“You know a place where we can meet thats not too far from you?” the 16-year-old asked Parson the next day.
We could definitely meet up after work. if you wanted to
I just brought dinner home to my parents. Let me get them fed, then we can chat
Why dont we meet someplace after your work. We can chat. See if we click. Then, figure out a plan from there. No pressure and no strings.
After a phone call between them, records show that the teen sent Parson the address of a Shell gas station. Around midnight, Parson pulled in driving his fathers red convertible. Its front license plate said “LIFES A BEACH.”
Looking for a more secluded place, the pair moved across the street to the parking lot of a day care.
Three hours later, at the countys sexual assault [treatment center](https://www.broward.org/NancyJCottermanCenter/Pages/Default.aspx?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template), the 16-year-old sat in a room intentionally painted in calming blues. He was handed a brochure that said, “A person 24 years of age or older … cannot receive consent from 16- and 17-year-old minors.”
“Being the victim of a crime can be overwhelming,” it read. “Your reactions are normal.”
On his phone, there was a new text from Parson: “You ok?”
“Yeah Im good,” the teenager replied. “Im home.”
Then he started talking to a detective.
“It just kinda happened,” the teenager said, according to a police transcript of the interview. “I dont really know how to explain it.”
The officer asked if he kissed back.
“I consented,” the boy said.
LEFT: An evidence photo shows the license plate of the vehicle Brett Parson drove to the gas station where he met the teenager. (Coconut Creek Police Department) RIGHT: Police say Parson and the teenager then moved to the parking lot of this day-care center in Coconut Creek, Fla. (Scott McIntyre For The Washington Post)
According to the transcript, the officer did not ask the teenager if Parson knew his real age.
Advocates who work with gay youth say its common for teenagers to explore on dating apps that allow them to meet strangers, especially if they dont feel safe expressing themselves at home or in school.
Some vulnerable kids also use dating apps to seek out adults who will pay them, though minors cannot legally consent to being purchased for sex. The officer questioning this teenager did not ask whether money was exchanged.
The boy described how he and Parson gave each other oral sex, then decided to move to another location because theyd seen someone walking in the distance.
“Did you feel like you wanted to continue what you guys are doing?” the detective asked.
“No,” the teen said. “I also didnt really feel like saying no either, but I didnt want to keep going.”
“Okay,” the detective said. “And then …”
“But I didnt show any signs either of like wanting to stop, so.”
“Okay. Did, um, did you feel scared?”
“I felt uncomfortable,” the boy said. “But I kinda went with it because I was already there.”
He told the detective Parson did not threaten him. And though he never showed him his badge or his weapon, he knew that Parson used to be a cop.
“I just didnt stop for some reason,” he said. “But I dont know why.”
After 20 minutes, the interview ended. It was 3:50 a.m. The boy, with his fathers permission, consented to give DNA to investigators. They had everything they needed to ask a judge for an arrest warrant.
### No, not Brett
Parson sat in a jail cell for nearly a week. He paid $5,000 to A Signature Only Bail Bonds, which insured the rest of his $50,000 bond. A judge ordered him to remain in Florida, stay away from all minors and live at his parents Boca Raton condo while he awaited trial.
Meanwhile, his mug shot had hit the news.
“I kept saying no, no, no, not Brett,” recalled Budd, who had helped Parson identify crime victims. “An underage young man? No.”
On Twitter and in text messages, members of D.C.s LGBTQ community quickly began taking sides. Many pointed out that while the age of consent in Florida is 18, in D.C. its 16. Parson could not have been arrested for the same set of circumstances here.
“I dont think a life should be destroyed over one foolish event late one night, especially when the contact was made on a site where everyone is supposed to be a minimum of 18,” said Rick Rosendall, former president of the Gay and Lesbian Activists Alliance.
Nothing about the police reports, some argued, indicated that Parson had intentionally sought out a minor.
“To me, theres no victim, theres no predator in this story,” said transgender activist Taylor Lianne Chandler, who took to Twitter to defend Parson. “I cant fathom Brett risking his career for 20 minutes of fun.”
Others were disgusted, saying it was not acceptable even if Parson thought the person he was meeting was 18.
“Youre a police officer, you should know better,” said Tamika Spellman, a transgender advocate who has conducted training sessions alongside Parson. “You should know the differences between a grown-up and a child.”
Impossible to ignore was where the encounter happened: a state then on the verge of passing a bill to ban teachers from discussing sexual orientation and gender identity. Dubbed the [“dont say gay” law](https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2022/04/01/what-is-florida-dont-say-gay-bill/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template) by opponents, its supporters bandied about terms like “grooming” to create false links between homosexuality and child abuse, which is committed by people of all sexual orientations.
“Something like this just plays right into their narrative,” said John Guggenmos, owner of several gay nightclubs in D.C., including Town Danceboutique, which closed in 2018. “To me, it makes all our community look bad.”
Many who had crossed paths with Parson or invited him to speak at events said they feared that bringing any additional attention to his arrest could hurt LGBTQ progress.
But to those who put their trust in him again and again, the hurt was already done.
“For him to use his power to leave the scene, leaving this vulnerable youth to fend for himself, its devastating,” said Crenshaw, of the Wanda Alston Foundation.
Allure, at Casa Ruby, whod said Parson made her feel safe, couldnt help thinking of how vulnerable she had been as a teenager.
“Youre a leader. People look at you as a public figure. You have the nerve? The audacity? I cant. Thats where Im at,” she said.
Alexander-Reid, who was Parsons counterpart in the mayors office, said shes still waiting for some kind of explanation, maybe from Parson himself.
“If hes willing to be vulnerable and open as to what happened, Im definitely open to listen,” she said. “Hes earned my respect. And if hes made mistakes? You know what, hes not the first one.”
And then there were Parsons colleagues, officers who by training are inclined to believe that police in Florida are justified in the charges they filed.
Newsham, the former D.C. police chief, compared the situation to how he felt as a Catholic to learn of abuse in the church. To those who believed in community policing, he said, Parson was as revered as a priest.
“The trust, Ive got to tell you, its definitely fractured,” he said. “If its completely broken remains to be seen.”
### Prides missing fixture
On an overcast Saturday in June, D.C. staged its first full-fledged Pride parade since the pandemic began. The city and its people were draped in rainbows, jubilant to see the streets packed again.
On nearly every corner sat a D.C. police cruiser and a few officers, assigned to monitor the event for safety.
“Capital Pride, are you ready?” an announcer called, and onto the parade route walked another group of officers.
They too, were in uniform, wearing bulletproof vests and carrying guns. But the words “METROPOLITAN POLICE” across some of their backs were written in rainbow.
Members of the LGBTQ Liaison Unit walked alongside employees of the mayors office, shaking hands and posing for pictures. The officers were scheduled to stop by bars on U Street that night and run a tent at the Pride festival the next day — the kind of events where Parson was always a fixture.
He hadnt been seen in months. But two days before the parade, a judge granted Parsons request to leave Florida. As long as he reports to his probation officer by phone twice a week and Zooms into his court hearings, he has permission to spend the summer at his home in Provincetown, Mass. Come September, he told the court, he is planning to move back to the District.
He will return to a city where he is no longer a member of the police reserve force. His many speaking engagements have been canceled. The program that teaches police to stop unnecessary force terminated his contract.
The officers he once led kept moving down the parade route. They handed out rainbow bracelets stamped with a phone number, the direct line to the unit. Anyone who needed their help could call.
Some people slipped the bracelets onto their wrists. Some left them behind on the pavement.
*Razzan Nakhlawi and Peter Hermann contributed to this report.*
*Story editing by Lynda Robinson, photo editing by Mark Miller, copy editing by Thomas Heleba, video editing by Amber Ferguson, design and development by Alexis Arnold.*
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Tag: ["📜", "🏛️", "🏰", "🪲"]
Date: 2022-12-26
DocType: "WebClipping"
Hierarchy:
TimeStamp: 2022-12-26
Link: https://www.9news.com.au/world/the-best-ancient-finds-of-2022-wrap-up/b0330a0f-dd36-4953-828c-dbe04b075d4a
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Parent:: [[@News|News]]
Read:: [[2022-12-26]]
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```button
name Save
type command
action Save current file
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```
^button-theyearsbestancientfindsNSave
&emsp;
# Buried gold, vampire graves and lost cities - the year's best ancient finds
A team of archaeologists discovered an ancient neolithic site, believed to be 9000 years old, in Jordan's remote eastern desert, in February.
The find, made by Jordanian and French archaeologists, is believed to be a ritual complex, located near large structures known as "desert kites".
The structures are believed to be large traps used to lure wild gazelles for slaughter.
Such traps consist of two or more long stone walls converging toward an enclosure and are found scattered across the deserts of the Middle East.
"The site is unique, first because of its preservation state," co-director of the project, Jordanian archaeologist Wael Abu-Azziza, said.
"It's 9000 years old and everything was almost intact."
Within the shrine were two carved standing stones bearing anthropomorphic figures, one accompanied by a representation of the "desert kite," as well as an altar, hearth, marine shells and miniature model of the gazelle trap.
The researchers said in a statement the shrine "sheds an entire new light on the symbolism, artistic expression as well as spiritual culture of these hitherto unknown Neolithic populations".
The proximity of the site suggests the inhabitants were specialised hunters and the traps were "the centre of their cultural, economic and even symbolic life in this marginal zone," the statement said.
The site was excavated during the most recent digging season in 2021.
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Tag: ["📟", "🪙", "♟️"]
Date: 2022-05-22
DocType: "WebClipping"
Hierarchy:
TimeStamp: 2022-05-22
Link: https://www.newyorker.com/news/letter-from-the-southwest/coffeezilla-the-youtuber-exposing-crypto-scams
location:
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Parent:: [[@News|News]]
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&emsp;
```button
name Save
type command
action Save current file
id Save
```
^button-CoffeezillatheYouTuberExposingCryptoScamsNSave
&emsp;
# Coffeezilla, the YouTuber Exposing Crypto Scams
When Stephen Findeisen was in college, at Texas A. & M., a friend pitched him a business opportunity. He was vague about the specifics but clear about the potential upside. “It was, like, Dont you want to be financially free, living on a beach somewhere?’ ” Findeisen, who is twenty-eight, recalled recently. After attending a weekend presentation, Findeisen realized that he was being recruited to join a multilevel-marketing company. “I was, like, What are you talking about? Youre not financially free! Youre here on a Sunday!” He declined the offer, but a couple of his roommates signed up. They also got a subscription to a magazine about personal and professional development. One day, Findeisen came home to find copies of the latest issue on the coffee table. “I remember clearly thinking, We have four copies of *Success* magazine and no one is successful. Something is wrong here.”
Findeisen has been leery of scammers since high school, when his mother was diagnosed with cancer. “She was sold a bunch of snake oil, and I think she believed all of it,” he said. She recovered, but Findeisen was left with a distaste for people who market false hope. After graduating with a degree in chemical engineering, he sold houses for a local builder. In his spare time, he started uploading to his YouTube channels, where he put his debunking instincts to work in short videos such as “Corporate Jargon—Lying by Obscurity” and “Is Exercising Worth Your Time?” Initially, subjects included time-management tips and pop-science tropes, but his content really took off when he began critiquing sleazy finance gurus. These days, his channel Coffeezilla has more than a million subscribers, and YouTube is his full-time job.
We live, as many people have noted, in a golden age of con artistry. Much of the attention has focussed on schemes that target women, from [romance scammers](https://www.newyorker.com/news/our-local-correspondents/the-worst-boyfriend-on-the-upper-east-side) to multilevel-marketing companies that deploy the language of sisterhood and empowerment to recruit people to sell leggings and [essential oils](https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2017/10/09/how-essential-oils-became-the-cure-for-our-age-of-anxiety). But Findeisen was interested in the self-proclaimed finance gurus who target people like him and his friends from college—young men adrift in the post-financial-crisis world, distrustful of the traditional financial system but hungry for some kind of edge. In their proprietary courses, the gurus promise, they teach the secret habits of rich people, or the pathway to passive income, or the millionaire mind-set. Watch one YouTube video like this and your sidebar will fill up with suggestions for more: “How I WENT from BROKE to MILLIONAIRE in 90 days!”; “How To MAKE MILLIONS In The Upcoming MARKET CRASH”; “How To Make 6 Figures In Your Twenties.”
Coffeezilla became one of the most prominent dissenting voices. Findeisens videos featured fast edits, a digitally rendered Lamborghini, and the lingo of hustle culture, albeit deployed with a raised eyebrow. As Coffeezilla—Findeisen kept his real name under wraps for years, he said, after he was subject to harassment campaigns—he dissected the gurus tricks: the countdown timers they used to create an illusion of scarcity, their incessant upsells. In one of his most popular videos, he spends an hour interviewing Garrett, a twentysomething man who quit his teaching job to take self-marketing courses from a flashy Canadian named Dan Lok. As he draws out the story of Garretts increasingly expensive immersion in this world, Findeisens expression shifts from mirth to bafflement to genuine anger.
“When I interviewed Garrett, I thought this was an absolute travesty,” Findeisen told me. “And then, when I discovered crypto for the first time, it was, like, Oh, that guy lost, like, five hundred thousand on Tuesday,’ ” he said. “Crypto scams are like discovering fentanyl when youve been used to Oxy. Its a hundred times more powerful, and way worse. And there were just not that many people talking about it.” Findeisen is an inveterate skeptic. “I always want to go where people arent going,” he said. “I think, if I was seeing only negative crypto stuff, Id start a pro-crypto channel. But Im seeing the opposite.” (Dan Loks team said that he “refutes all claims and allegations made against him by Garrett on Coffeezilla.”)
Last summer, as bitcoins valuation approached all-time highs and the world was going crazy for [non-fungible tokens](https://www.newyorker.com/tech/annals-of-technology/how-beeple-crashed-the-art-world), Findeisen spent months unspooling the story of Save the Kids, a [cryptocurrency](https://www.newyorker.com/tag/cryptocurrency) project promoted by a handful of high-profile influencers, some of whom were affiliated with FaZe Clan, the wildly popular e-sports collective. Findeisens investigation zeroed in on one of the influencers, Frazier Kay, who promoted the Save the Kids crypto token to his followers, touting it as an investment with a vaguely defined charitable component that would “help children across the world.” Soon after the project launched, the tokens value plummeted. Findeisen heard that a crucial piece of code, meant to protect the project against pump-and-dump schemes, had been changed before the launch. (It is unclear who ordered that change.)
In a series of videos, Findeisen pieced together clues, including D.M.s, interviews with whistle-blowers, leaked recordings, and photographs sent by an anonymous source. He tracked funds as they moved in and out of various digital wallets. Wearing suspenders and a crisp white shirt, Findeisen sat in front of what he calls his conspiracy board—a digital rendering of a bulletin board displaying the key players connected by a maze of threads—and made the case that Kay had a pattern of involvement in questionable crypto deals. The Save the Kids series marked Findeisens transition from a snarky YouTube critic to something more akin to an investigative journalist. After an internal investigation, FaZe Clan terminated Kay. The collective released a statement saying that it “had absolutely no involvement with our members activity in the cryptocurrency space, and we strongly condemn their recent behaviour.” In [a tweet](https://twitter.com/FrazierKay/status/1409221680178909184) posted after Findeisens initial investigation, Kay wrote, “I want you all to know that I had no ill intent promoting any crypto alt coins. I honestly & naively thought we all had a chance to win which just isnt the case. I didnt vet any of this with my team at FaZe and I now know I should have.” Kay didnt respond to a request for comment from *The New Yorker*, but, in a message to Coffeezilla, he said that he didnt profit from the Save the Kids crypto token and explained that the “purpose of the project is charitable giving. Its in that spirit and with that intent that I was involved and put capital into it.” In a subsequent video, Kay said that he was “tricked” into participating in the scheme.
When I visited Findeisen this spring, at the tidy, spare town house that he shares with his wife and two dogs, Barney and Nala, he was preoccupied with another big story. (He asked me to not mention the city he lives in, because hes been doxed before.) This one concerned SafeMoon, a cryptocurrency token purporting to be a “safe” investment vehicle that would nonetheless go “to the moon,” crypto parlance for a dramatic rise in valuation. After its launch, last spring, SafeMoon was briefly everywhere—on a billboard in Times Square, and tweeted about by celebrities including Diplo and Jake Paul. (Diplos team said that the tweet “was a joke.” Jake Pauls team didnt respond to a request for comment.) “You have to understand how big it was,” Findeisen told me. “It had a four-billion-dollar market cap within a few months of launching.” Months later, though, SafeMoon had lost a significant percentage of its value. Findeisen made it his mission to understand how that happened, whether it involved anything illegal, and who profited along the way.
The day that I visited, Findeisen was releasing a video about Ben Phillips, a former member of SafeMoons marketing team. Phillips is a YouTuber whose videos—primarily of pranks he pulls on his half brother (“VIBRATING pants on my bro in PUBLIC \*\*PRANK!\*\*”; “I superglued beer goggles to my bro! PRANK!”)—have more than a billion views. In April, 2021, in [a now deleted tweet](https://web.archive.org/web/20210412092418/https://twitter.com/BenPhillipsUK/status/1381538558226337793), Phillips encouraged his followers to buy him something from Starbucks, linking to what he said was his crypto wallet. Findeisen tracked various wallets transactions in the subsequent eight months, and found that, although in public Phillips promoted SafeMoon, in private he appeared to be selling it. (Phillips didnt respond to multiple requests for comment.) Findeisen told me that people think their crypto-wallet transactions are anonymous, but that this is not the case. If you can figure out whom a wallet belongs to, the transactions are easy enough to trace. “You dont need a subpoena—you can just be some random guy in Texas figuring it out,” he said.
Findeisen works in front of a green screen, at a desk crowded with two monitors, a microphone, and a sound mixer. A whiteboard propped against the wall was full of scrawled affirmations: “story is king”; “trust the process.” The shady behavior that Findeisen features on his channel is often abstruse to the point of near-unintelligibility; to make it visually engaging, he works with a graphic designer who creates animations that illustrate funds flowing between different wallets, or money being siphoned out of a liquidity pool. The designer lives in [Ukraine](https://www.newyorker.com/tag/ukraine). When Findeisen was on a call with him recently, they were interrupted by air-raid sirens.
“This video has taken longer than I expected,” he said. “I dont like to upload too late in the afternoon—this is kind of pushing it. But Ive been putting off this video way too long.” He typed and erased several potential titles. “ I caught this YouTuber pumping and dumping—do people understand what that means?” he asked. He worried that “pumping and dumping” wasnt pithy enough to capture a YouTube audience. “ Pump and dumping—does that work?” he said. “And do you include the amount?” (He ended up going with “I Caught This Youtuber Scamming for $12,000,000.”)
As he tweeted a thread promoting the video, Findeisen explained that he has taken to reaching out to the subjects of his videos for comment. Most often they decline to comment; sometimes they deny his accusations; more commonly they make excuses. “They all see themselves as, like, the fifth-worst guy,” he said.
I recognized in Findeisen the antsy feeling of sitting in your chair after having posted something big, waiting impatiently for the world to change. He scrolled quickly through the message requests in his Twitter in-box. One was from someone purporting to have information about an employee at a popular cryptocurrency exchange who was allegedly running a pump-and-dump scheme. Findeisen asked for more information. He clicked back to YouTube; his new video already had nearly two thousand views. In the next two weeks, Findeisen released several more videos unspooling the SafeMoon saga. Combined, they have more than two and a half million views.
Some of Findeisens viewers are dismayed to learn that he actually owns some bitcoin. “I try not to be too negative about crypto,” he told me. “I think about how we can shape it into something better—more like the future that the people making it *say* they want. In that way, were on the same side.”
So far, there have been relatively few prosecutions in the world of crypto. “The lesson, if youre a cynical person, is to commit fraud on the blockchain,” Findeisen told me. I asked him whether he considered his videos to be in the genre of white-collar true crime. “I guess I always think of true crime as: the guy gets locked up at the end,” he said. “And a lot of my stories feel incomplete. Because the reporting happens, right? And then they just continue doing what they do.”
To keep from being overtaken by cynicism, Findeisen has been allowing himself a bit more creative leeway in his videos. He and his designer have built a number of digital sets that they use as backdrops, or for interstitial scenes: a detectives office; an Old West-style bar with a robot bartender; a dystopian, near-future cityscape. “The Coffeezilla Cinematic Universe,” Findeisen jokingly called it. The C.C.U. is a world in which the hyper-financialized logic of the cryptosphere has overtaken reality. The video about Ben Phillips ends with Coffeezilla and the robot bartender on a rooftop. They gaze out at a city of great wealth and great poverty, lit up by neon signs: “Timmy Needs Chemo”; “Get Rich Now, Loser!” When I watched the video later, on YouTube, it was interrupted by an ad, for a company urging me to invest in crypto. “Fly me to the moon,” a singer crooned, as a square-jawed man lifted off the ground and floated upward, borne aloft by the magic of it all.
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---
Tag: ["📜", "🏛️", "🇮🇹", "🇪🇬"]
Date: 2022-12-04
DocType: "WebClipping"
Hierarchy:
TimeStamp: 2022-12-04
Link: https://acoup.blog/2022/12/02/collections-why-roman-egypt-was-such-a-strange-province/
location:
CollapseMetaTable: true
---
Parent:: [[@News|News]]
Read:: [[2022-12-06]]
---
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```button
name Save
type command
action Save current file
id Save
```
^button-WhyRomanEgyptWasSuchaStrangeProvinceNSave
&emsp;
# Collections: Why Roman Egypt Was Such a Strange Province
Welcome back! We are back from our November hiatus and thus back to regular weekly posts! This week were going to answer the runner-up question in the last ACOUP Senate poll (polls in which you too can vote if you become a *pater aut mater conscriptus* [via Patreon](https://www.patreon.com/user?u=20122096)). The question, posed in two different ways by Tristan and DW Rowlands was “**what made Roman Egypt such an unusual part of the Roman world?**“
Ive mentioned [quite](https://acoup.blog/2021/03/26/fireside-friday-march-26-2021-on-the-nature-of-ancient-evidence/) [a few](https://acoup.blog/2021/07/23/collections-the-queens-latin-or-who-were-the-romans-part-iv-the-color-of-purple/) [times](https://acoup.blog/2022/01/28/collections-rome-decline-and-fall-part-ii-institutions/) here that Roman Egypt is a perplexing part of understanding the Roman Empire because on the one hand it provides a lot of really valuable evidence for daily life concerns (mortality, nuptiality, military pay, customs and tax systems, etc.) but on the other hand it is always very difficult to know to what degree that information can be generalized because Roman Egypt is such an atypical Roman province. So this week were going to look in quite general terms at what makes Egypt such an unusual place in the Roman world. As well see, some of the ways in which Egypt is unusual are Roman creations, but many of them stretch back before the Roman period in Egypt or indeed before the Roman period *anywhere*.
As always, if you like what you are reading here, please share it; if you really like it, you can support me on [Patreon](https://www.patreon.com/user?u=20122096); members at the *Patres et Matres Conscripti* level get to vote on the topics for post-series like this one! And if you want updates whenever a new post appears, you can click below for email updates or follow me on twitter (@BretDevereaux) for updates as to new posts as well as my occasional ancient history, foreign policy or military history musings, assuming that, by the time this post goes live, there is still a Twitter.
(Bibliography note: Because the evidence from Egypt is so ample, there is a lot of scholarship focused on it, both on the evidence itself and also speaking to the question of how typical that evidence might be. I am not an Egypt specialist (at some point Id love to get some of the Egypt specialists I do know to come here and chat about it), so this bibliography is only going to hit the high-points, as it were. On Roman Egypt generally, I think C. Riggs (ed.), *The Oxford Handbook of Roman Egypt* (2012) is an excellent starting point. Note also for a developmental history, R.S. Bagnall, *Roman Egypt: A History* (2021), L. Capponi, *Roman Egypt* (2011), L. Capponi, *Augustan Egypt: The Creation of a Roman Province* (2005) and A. Monson, *From the Ptolemies to the Romans: Political and Economic Change in Egypt* (2012). On the demography of Roman Egypt, see R.S. Bagnall and B.W. Frier, *The Demography of Roman Egypt* (2010) as well as W. Scheidel, *Death on the Nile: Disease and the Demography of Roman Egypt* (2001). On the military-social footprint in pre-Roman (that is, Ptolemaic) Egypt, see P. Johstono, *The Army of Ptolemaic Egypt* (2020), and C. Fischer-Bovet, *Army and Society in Ptolemaic Egypt* (2014). On the question of the typicality of Roman Egypt itself, see also D. Rathbone, “The Romanity of Roman Egypt: A Faltering Consensus?” *Journal of Juristic Papyrology* 43 (2013): 73-91, which is in turn responding to N. Lewis, “The Romanity of Roman Egypt: a growing consensus,” *Atti del XVII Congresso Internazionale di Papirologia* (1984). As I think this bibliographic selection shows, this is a debate that is still very much ongoing the consensus, while narrowing is not narrow but very much contested.)
## What Makes Roman Egypt So Valuable To Historians?
I should start by noting that Roman Egypt is not necessarily the only strange place in the Roman Empire. Italy, of course, was a unique sort of place on the Roman Empire, but so was Roman Britain conquered late and less fully urbanized than much of the empire (Dacia, held even more briefly, has the same set of problems). I think Egypt is still probably the *oddest* large region in the Roman world, but it is not the only stand out.
**Instead what makes Roman Egypts uniqueness so important is one of the unique things about it: Roman Egypt preserves a much larger slice of our evidence than any other place in the ancient world**. This comes down to climate (as do most things); Egypt is a climatically extreme place. On the one hand, most of the country is desert and here I mean *hard* desert, with absolutely minuscule amounts of precipitation. On the other hand, the Nile River creates a fertile, at points almost lush, band cutting through the country running to the coast. The change between these two environments is extremely stark; it is, I have been told (I havent yet been to Egypt), entirely possible in many places to stand with one foot in the green and another foot in the hard desert.
![](https://i0.wp.com/acoup.blog/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/image-2.png?fit=700%2C550&ssl=1)
Via [Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nile), a view of the Nile in Egypt from space, showing the stark division between the banks of the Nile and the desert. The patch of green just off to the left of the Nile about halfway up the photo is el-Fayyum.
That in turn matters because while Egypt was hardly the only arid region Rome controlled, it was the only place you were likely to find very many large settlements and lots of people living in such close proximity to such extremely arid environments (other large North African settlements tend to be coastal). And *that* in turn matters for preservation. When objects are deposited lost, thrown away, carefully placed in a sanctuary, whatever they begin to degrade. Organic objects (textile, leather, *paper*, wood) rot as microorganisms use them as food, while metal objects oxidize (that is, rust).[1](https://acoup.blog/2022/12/02/collections-why-roman-egypt-was-such-a-strange-province/#easy-footnote-bottom-1-16240 "Stone is the big exception. People often assume that the ancients built everything in stone, which is really quite wrong: stone was a very expensive building material only used for the most important buildings. However all of the buildings made in wood, mudbrick, thatch and other perishable materials long since vanished (even brick tends to crumble much faster than stone), leaving only the stone buildings behind, a classic case of survivorship bias. Always be suspicious of &#8216;they don&#8217;t make &#8217;em like they used to&#8217; really meaning &#8216;only the very highest quality products from the past tend to survive to the present.&#8217;") Aridity arrests (at least somewhat) both processes. Consequently things *survive* from the Roman period (or indeed, from even more ancient periods) in Egypt that simply wouldnt survive almost anywhere else.
By far the most important of those things is *paper*, particularly papyrus paper. The Romans actually had a number of writing solutions. For short-term documents, they used wax writing tablets, an ancient sort of dry erase board which could be scraped smooth to write a new text when needed; these only survive under very unusual circumstances. For more permanent documents, wood and papyrus were used. Wood tablets, [such as those famously recovered from the Roman fort at Vindolanda](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vindolanda_tablets), are fairly simple: thin wooden slats are smoothed so they can be written on with link and a pen, creating a rigid but workable and cheap writing surface; when we find these tablets they have tended to be short documents like letters or temporary lists, presumably in part because storing lots of wood tablets would be hard so more serious records would go on the easier to store papyrus paper.
**Papyrus paper was lighter, more portable, more storeable option.** Papyrus paper is produced by taking the pith of the papyrus plant, which is sticky, and placing it in two layers at right angles to each other, before compressing (or crushing) those layers together to produce a single sheet, which is then dried, creating a sheet of paper (albeit a very fibery sort of paper, as you can see). Papyrus paper originated in Egypt and the papyrus plant is native to Egypt, but by the Roman period we generally suppose papyrus paper to have been used widely over much of the Roman Empire; it is sometimes supposed that papyrus was cheaper and more commonly used in Egypt than elsewhere, but it is hard to be sure.
![](https://i0.wp.com/acoup.blog/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/image-1.png?fit=800%2C1891&ssl=1)
Via [WIkipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Papyrus), a papyrus document from Roman Egypt, in this case MS Gr SM2223 = P.Fay.92, “Bill of sale for a donkey,” dated to 126 AD now in the Houghton Library at Harvard.
Now within the typical European and Mediterranean humidity, papyrus doesnt last forever (unlike the parchment paper produced in the Middle Ages which was far more expensive but also lasts much longer); papyrus paper will degrade over anything from a few decades to a couple hundred years the more humidity, the faster decay. Of course wood tablets and wax tablets fare no better. What that means is that in most parts of the Roman Empire, very little casual writing survives; what *does* survive were the sorts of important official documents which might be inscribed on stone (along with the literary works that were worth painstakingly copying over and over again by hand through the Middle Ages). But letters, receipts, tax returns, census records, shopping lists, school assignments these sorts of documents were all written on less durable materials which dont survive except in a few exceptional sites like Vindolanda.
Or Egypt. Not individual places in Egypt; pretty much the whole province.
In the extremely dry conditions of the Egyptian desert, papyrus can survive (albeit typically in damaged scraps rather than complete scrolls) from antiquity to the present. Now the coverage of these surviving papyri is not even. The Roman period is far better represented in the surviving papyri than the Ptolemaic period (much less the proceeding late period or the New Kingdom before that). Its also not evenly distributed geographically; the Arsinoite nome (what is today el-Fayyum, an oasis basin to the West of the Nile) and the Oxyrhynchus nome (roughly in the middle of Egypt, on the Nile) are both substantially overrepresented, while the Nile Delta itself has fewer (but by no means zero) finds. Consequently, we need to be worried not only about the degree to which Egypt might be representative of the larger Roman world, but also the degree to which these two nomes (a nome is an administrative district within Egypt, well talk about them more in a bit) are representative of Egypt. Thats complicated in turn by the fact that the Arsinoite nome is not a normal nome; extensive cultivation there only really begins under Ptolemaic rule, which raises questions about how typical it was. It also means we lack a really good trove of papyri from a nome in Lower Egypt proper (the northern part of the country, covering the delta of the Nile) which, because of its different terrain, we might imagine was in some ways different.
Nevertheless, it is difficult to overstate the value of the papyri we do recover from Egypt. Documents containing census and tax information can give us important clues about the structure of ancient households (revealing, for instance, a lot of complex composite households). Tax receipts (particularly for customs taxes) can illuminate a lot about how Roman customs taxes (*portoria*) were assessed and conducted. Military pay stubs from Roman Egypt also provide the foundation for our understanding of how Roman soldiers were paid, recording for instance, pay deductions for rations, clothes and gear. We also occasionally recover fragments of literary works that we know existed but which otherwise did not survive to the present. And there is *so much* of this material. Whereas new additions to the corpus of ancient literary texts are extremely infrequent (the last very long such text was the recovery of the *Athenaion Polteia* or *Constitution of the Athenians*, from a papyrus discovered in the Fayyum (of course), published in 1891), the quantity of unpublished papyri from Egypt remains vast and there is frankly a real shortage of trained Egyptologists who can work through and publish this material (to the point that the vast troves of unpublished material [has created deeply unfortunate opportunities for theft and fraud](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dirk_Obbink)).
![](https://i0.wp.com/acoup.blog/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/image.png?fit=3072%2C816&ssl=1)
Via [Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Constitution_of_the_Athenians_(Aristotle)), a scroll of Egyptian papyrus, in this case the Athenaion Politeia or Constitution of the Athenians, potentially by Aristotle. The discovery of a fragment of this work on papyrus discovered in 1879. The information it offers on the structure of government in Athens is invaluable.
**And so that is the first way in which Egypt is unusual: we know a *lot* more about daily life in Roman Egypt, especially when it comes to affairs *below* the upper-tier of society**. Recovered papyrological evidence makes petty government officials, regular soldiers, small farming households, affluent middle class families and so on much more visible to us. But of course that immediately raises debates over how typical those people we can see are, because wed *like* to be able to generalize information we learn about small farmers or petty government officials more broadly around the empire, to use that information to fill in regions where the evidence just does not survive. But of course the rejoinder is natural to point out the ways in which Egypt may be *unusual* beyond merely the survival of evidence (to include the possibility that cheaper papyrus in Egypt may have meant that more things were committed to paper here than elsewhere).
Consequently the *debate* about how strange a place Roman Egypt was is also a fairly important and active area of scholarship. We can divide those arguments into two large categories: the way in which Roman rule *itself* in Egypt was unusual and the ways in which Egypt was a potentially unusual place *in comparison to the rest of Roman world* already.
## The Romans Made Egypt Unusual
When it comes to Roman governance in Egypt, perhaps the best summary of what we know about how typical it was would be to say that Roman rule in Egypt was somewhat unusual, but rather less unusual than we used to think it was, and it become more typical over time (so the level of unusualness is greatest under Augustus and then declines as a factor of time). Ironically, it has been in no small part coming to understand the wealth of the papyrus evidence that has led to this shift, revealing that our literary sources sometimes *overstated* the degree to which Egypt was unusual.
A lot of that comes from how Tacitus represents the structure of Roman rule in Egypt: he describes Augustus as having kept in the \[imperial\] house (*retinere domi*) the governance of Egypt, assigning it to an equestrian[2](https://acoup.blog/2022/12/02/collections-why-roman-egypt-was-such-a-strange-province/#easy-footnote-bottom-2-16240 "A member of Rome&#8217;s economic elite (the <em>ordo equester</em> or equestrian class) who did not have an independent political career (which would confer membership in the Senate and thus the <em>ordo Senatus</em> in the imperial period). Emperors often employed officials drawn from the <em>equites</em> in various key bureaucratic positions which would either be beneath the dignity of a senator (being functionally secretarial in nature) or which would be too politically sensitive for a senator (who might be a potential political rival for an emperor).") prefect.[3](https://acoup.blog/2022/12/02/collections-why-roman-egypt-was-such-a-strange-province/#easy-footnote-bottom-3-16240 "In contrast to a provincial governor, who would have been a proconsul or propraetor in the provinces still controlled directly by the senate, or by a legatus Augusti in provinces controlled directly by the emperor (most of the provinces with meaningful military forces). Both pro-magistrates and legati were drawn from the members of the Senate who thus kept their traditional perogative of being Rome&#8217;s governors and army commanders, even under the empire.") Egypt was a relatively late addition to Romes growing Empire; the Ptolemaic dynasty had ruled it since the death of Alexander the Great in 323. From the 160s that Ptolemaic kingdom had become effectively a client of Rome, its independence maintained by the threat of Roman arms (demonstrated vividly in 168 when Rome turned back a Seleucid invasion of Egypt with noting more than a *consultum* of the Senate), but had remained independent until Cleopatras disasterous decision to back Marcus Antonius (Mark Antony) in the last phase of Romes civil war. After their defeat, Octavian (soon to be Augustus) had in 30 BC after the suicide of Cleopatra, annexed the kingdom, creating the province of Roman Egypt.
Tacitus description of Augustus keeping the rule of Egypt in the house led early scholars to assume that Egypt was taken essentially as the private property of the emperors. This is less crazy than it initially sounds; later emperors administered massive estates through a parallel state treasury called the *fiscus* (distinct from the main treasury of the Roman state, the *aerarium Saturni*; the *fiscus* was the private accoutns and property of the emperor) administered in some cases by equestrian officials, so the idea of running an entire province effectively out of the *fiscus*, with the whole of Egypt effectively the private property of the emperor administered by an equestrian official wouldnt have seemed impossible and it certainly seems to be what Tacitus is describing.
But as our evidence for the activity of these prefects has improved, what we see are officials who act quite a lot like other provincial governors, despite their non-senatorial origins. *Praefecti Aegpyti* typically served around three years (fairly typical), where generally not from the province they oversaw (also typical), and wouldnt be reassigned to a post back in that province (also typical). Unlike with the earlier Ptolemaic government, there was no royal court in Egypt, the prefects entourage more nearly resembling that of a Roman governor, nor was the emperor personally present. Residents of Egypt who wished to petition the emperor had to do it through the same channels as any other resident of the Roman Empire. The military enforcement forces in the province, too, were typically Roman, drawn (as was normal) from provinces other than where they served. Consequently, as Dominic Rathbone (*op. cit.*) notes, local elites looking to operate with this new form of government found that they had to adjust themselves to a *system* of rule, quintessentially Roman, rather than the more personalistic Ptolemaic regime where favor might be curried with important local figures or the royal court itself.
That said, while weve increasingly found that the *Praefectus Aegypti* was more of a normal governor than we thought, vision into the lower levels of the Roman administration in Egypt reveal a complex and in some cases peculiar system. In most of the Roman Empire, Roman governors oversaw largely self-governing communities, run by local elites, which handled most local affairs. Those communities generally delegated governing functions to elected or appointed magistrates who were amateur part-timers drawn from the elite (the *curiales*, [weve mentioned these fellows before](https://acoup.blog/2022/01/28/collections-rome-decline-and-fall-part-ii-institutions/)).
In Egypt, by contrast, while the Romans disassembled the royal Ptolemaic court, **they initially seem to have left much of its administrative apparatus of salaries administrators in place**. The division of Egypt into administrative districts called nomes was kept and the seat of government in the province was firmly entrenched in Alexandria (whereas at least in the first two centuries, most Roman provinces had no clearly established capital). Each of the nomes was governed by a *strategos* (while the word means general these were purely civilian officials), typically drawn from the Alexandrian upper-class (rather than being truly *local* elites), assisted by a salaried *basilikos grammateus*, royal scribe. Villages also generally had a *komogrammateus*, village scribe, who reported to the *strategos*; these fellows *also* seem to have initially been salaried officials.[4](https://acoup.blog/2022/12/02/collections-why-roman-egypt-was-such-a-strange-province/#easy-footnote-bottom-4-16240 "on this, see Rathbone, <em>op. cit.</em> 84-5. There is considerable uncertainty as to if these lower level officials, often casually <em>called</em> &#8216;liturgists&#8217; but where we do not necessarily <em>know</em> their jobs were liturgic (that is, assigned to specific rich-people in a non-voluntary way of devolving state action on the wealthy).") Some of these positions gradually became truly liturgic in nature, mirroring more closely systems of local governance in much of the rest of the Roman world, but perhaps only in the late second century.
Similarly, it was often assumed early on that land ownership and tenure would look very different with the emperor maintaining a lot of direct control and nearly all of the land in Egypt being effectively public land. That perspective was potentially reinforced by the evidence out of the Arsinoite nome (again, modern el-Fayyum) because most of the land there under the Ptolemies belonged to military settlers and thus had special obligations placed on it and was thus not truly private land. But what we see under the Romans is that first this military settler (cleruchic or katoikic; the distinctions here are a post for another day) land is fully privatized and taxed like it would be anywhere else. Meanwhile, the evidence from the other nomes on the Nile itself suggest that private land was more common there even under the Ptolemies. That said, the expansion of private land holdings seems to have been a *process* taking place mostly under Roman rule, which in turn meant that in many cases land tenure might look quite different in Egypt (where much land was either public or held by temples) than in the rest of the empire where most land was in private hands (although public and temple lands were also common), though it tended to look more and more like the rest of the empire over time, with the process supposed to be substantially complete by the end of the second century. Scholars broadly seem to still be very much divided on the degree to which late Ptolemaic and early Roman Egyptian landholding was exceptional, but it certainly had its substantial quirks.
**Meanwhile the Romans did another odd thing in that they didnt change: the currency system.** While the Roman Empire minted its currency in a series of regional mints (not centrally), the Romans almost always brought new areas under their control into the existing Roman currency system (based principally around the gold *aureus*, the silver *denarius* and the copper-alloy *sestertius*). That was both a tool of Roman imperialism, a way to make physical Romes notional dominion over conquered lands, but it also served (probably unintentionally) to lower transaction costs and encourage economic interaction between provinces. **But Egypt was not brought into the Roman currency system**, instead maintaining the Ptolemaic currency system based on the silver *tetradrachma* (Egypt was already a very monetized economy under the Ptolemies). That barrier between the economy in Egypt and outside of it can make it tricky to know how representative prices within Roman Egypt were for the rest of the empire. Egypt is only brought into the broader Roman currency system with the currency reforms of Diocletian (r. 284-305)
At the same time, Egypt was hardly cut off from the broader Roman economy. We have good evidence of quite a lot of trade out of Egypt, particularly in agricultural staples. But here again, Egypt is strange: Egyptian grain was the foundation for the imperial era *annona civilis*, the distribution of free grain to select citizens in the city of Rome itself. That meant a massive, continuous state-organized transfer of grain, specifically wheat grain, from Egypt to Rome. Some of that grain was taxed in kind, but much of it seems to have been purchased in Egypt; in either case transport was essentially subcontracted by the state. Egypt was hardly the only source of grain for the *annona* (the province of Africa, modern Tunisia, was another major source), but few provinces likely saw the *scale* of state-organized goods transfer that Egypt did. And its striking that attested Egyptian agriculture is quite heavily dominated by wheat farming, rather more than we might normally expect, which both speak to the high yields the Nile could offer but also Egypts role as the breadbasket of the Roman Empire.
## But Egypt Was Already Unusual
At the same time, there are some ways in which Egypt was, or at least we might supposed Egypt to have been, a unique place quite apart from the governmental structures imposed upon it, especially with regard to the rest of the Roman world.
A big part of this has to do with the Nile and the structure of agriculture it creates. Most of the Roman world was reliant on rainfall agriculture, meaning that the all-important moisture which sustained the crops was from rain. This might be supplemented in some cases either by dry-farming techniques (methods of retaining moisture in the soil in areas where rainfall is lower) or by limited irrigation from rivers and streams, but even a cursory glance at Roman agricultural writers (or earlier Greek ones) reveal a focus on the tremendous impact of rainfall on agricultural productivity. And just about everywhere Rome went, that was the system they encountered.
But in Egypt, agriculture is entirely oriented around the Nile; rainfall is functionally a non-factor in ancient Egyptian agriculture. Egypts agricultural season was based on that flooding with three seasons, first the flood (Akhet) when the Nile rose and inundated the fields, providing not only the necessary moisture (where water might be channeled and retained using systems of irrigation canals and levies) but also deposited a fresh layer of nutrient-rich silt. Then the next season is Peret, when planting and growing would take place (generally in winter), then followed by the harvest (Shemu) before the cycle repeated again.
This sort of river-valley agriculture wasnt rare globally; Mesopotamian agriculture worked similarly (albeit with less regular and more destructive flooding), but within the Roman Empire which despite occasionally *extremely* optimistic maps you may see, did not include any meaningful amount of Mesopotamia proper this sort of agriculture was rare. **First, it is clear that Egyptian agricultural yields (understood as either production-per-unit-land-area or production-per-unit-seed-sown) were generally higher than what we think to have been the norm for much of the Roman world**. While arguments about yields in Italy and Greece tend to suggest ranges between 4:1[5](https://acoup.blog/2022/12/02/collections-why-roman-egypt-was-such-a-strange-province/#easy-footnote-bottom-5-16240 "These are seed yields, so for every 1 unit of seeds sown (typically measured in dry volume), four units are harvested.") and perhaps 8:1, while as Erdkamp[6](https://acoup.blog/2022/12/02/collections-why-roman-egypt-was-such-a-strange-province/#easy-footnote-bottom-6-16240 "P. Erdkamp, <em>The Grain Market in the Roman Empire</em> (2005), 44-5.") notes yields in Egypt seem to have been *much* higher. Some tax evidence we have suggests normal yields in excess of 16:1 and tax rates high enough that at 7:1 a *good* yield in Italy a farmer would be swiftly taxed into starvation. Consequently, it seems like agriculture in Egypt was always substantially more productive than rainfall agriculture in the rest of the Roman Empire.
Meanwhile, river-based agriculture also requires different capital investments: it has to be irrigated through systems of ditches and canals to actually get the water to the fields. This is something that was crucial in Egyptian agriculture but often doesnt make it into popular representations (e.g. games like *Children of the Nile* (2008), where the flood is important, but the player cannot do anything to shape or channel it), but was extremely important for agriculture around the Nile. Irrigation channels could direct waters towards fields and away from flooding settlements. That mattered because water exposure mattered and indeed a set of tax categories were established based on the water exposure of land: land which had not been flooded for some time was considered inferior (and exempt from taxes), while land which flooded entirely or required extensive irrigation to flood was taxed at lower rates.[7](https://acoup.blog/2022/12/02/collections-why-roman-egypt-was-such-a-strange-province/#easy-footnote-bottom-7-16240 "This is discussed by K. Blouin in C. Riggs, <em>op. cit.</em>)") Those irrigation systems in turn had to be maintained, representing a form of capital investment with *substantial* labor demands in construction and upkeep that is much rarer in rainfall agriculture systems. Whereas in ancient Mesopotamia this seems to have been organized by the state, my sense is that irrigation direction in Egypt happened more locally, but I confess Ive found it hard to find a direct discussion of the matter.
![](https://i0.wp.com/acoup.blog/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/image-3.png?fit=1100%2C509&ssl=1)
[Via Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ancient_Egyptian_agriculture#/media/File:Gardens_of_Nakh_1.JPG), laborers working on the Gardens of Amun from the Temple at Karnak, 14th century B.C. Note the presence of water in the scene; presumably these gardens (by which is meant vegetable gardens, not pleasure gardens) were either irrigated or flooded naturally with the rising of the river. Of course we should note that agricultural practices in Egypt did change over time; this is not necessarily what a Roman-period farm would have looked like.
Both those labor demands and the high agricultural productivity around the Nile led in turn to what seem to have been given the limits of the evidence substantially higher population density in Egypt than in most other Mediterranean regions. We generally suppose the population of Ptolemaic Egypt to have been *roughly* equivalent to that of Roman Italy, between five and seven million or so. But in Egypt, almost all of those people were living directly along the Nile, on that green strip of land, a dramatically smaller and more contiguous area of settlement than what we see in, say, Roman Italy, much less more sparsely populated provinces like Spain or Gaul.
**And that in turn is tricky because [as weve discussed](https://acoup.blog/2020/07/24/collections-bread-how-did-they-make-it-part-i-farmers/), family formation patterns, disease and mortality and lots of other key demographic variables are subject to variation based on settlement patterns and agriculture**. We have a *lot* of data about age distribution, family size, marriage ages and so on from Roman Egypt, but demonstrating that, with its higher yields and higher population density as a consequence of its unique climate that these were *typical* in the Mediterranean is tricky. That said its not impossible either and some scholars have made careers out of demonstrating the applicability of just such extrapolations (Bruce Frier comes immediately to mind). But one must tread with caution.
And then there is the other major fact about Egypt: **Egypt is really, really, *really*** ***old***. A quick set of date comparisons between Italy and Egypt can make the point. Farming is arrives in Egypt c. 9,000 BC; in Italy thats c. 6,000 BC (please note those c. *circa* indicators are doing a lot of work here). By 4,000 BC in Egypt were starting to see the emergence of cities; we wont see serious urbanism in Italy until the early-to-mid first millennium BC. By 3,000 BC, Egypt is organized into a single state, with large urban administrative centers; Italys unification under the Romans wont happen until the 270s BC.
Or as I put it to my students, **it is the case that the Pyramids (constructed c. 2670-2400) were about as old to Cleopatra and Caesar as Cleopatra and Caesar are to us now** (in fact, if you do the math, the Pyramids were a little older). Now that huge sweep of time should caution us against the sort of eternal Egypt assumptions; Egypt in 2300BC was a very different Egypt than the Egypt of 230 or 23 BC.
But it also means we have to be aware that settlement and urbanism in Egypt were long, long settled before the Romans showed up. Thats actually a fairly large contrast to many areas in the Roman Empire (particularly in its western half), where the Romans were themselves a key impetus towards the development of substantial urbanism (although it is important not to overstate this; in a lot of cases Roman rule is causing cities to emerge in societies that already had modest towns. And of course in North Africa and the Eastern Mediterranean, urbanism was long established.)
At the same time Egypt was ruled from 323 to 31BC by members of the Macedonian Ptolemaic (or Lagid) family, beginning with Ptolemy I Soter, one of the companions of Alexander the Great. Ptolemaic rule itself brought changes to Egypt, many of which persisted into the Roman period. Not the least of this was the establishment and aggrandizement of the Ptolemaic capital of Alexandria, which would remain the political center of the province under the Romans. Ptolemaic pharaohs also encouraged a degree of religious syncretism, particularly through the cult of the god Serapis, though the Greek and Egyptian upper-classes remained largely distinct and non-intermixed under the Ptolemies (with the Greeks in charge as it were). One of the impacts of Roman rule is the fairly quick fusion of these two elites now that both were subjects in empires that did not belong to them.
![](https://i0.wp.com/acoup.blog/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/image-4.png?fit=800%2C1089&ssl=1)
Via [Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serapis), a bust of Serapis, a god whose worship was deliberately spread by the early Ptolemaic kings in order to provide a syncretic religious touchstone which could be appropriately unifying for the kingdom. Here Serapis is sculpted in Greek-style (which was typical of his depictions) but wearing one of his attributes on his head in Egyptian fashion, in this case what is likely a grain measure, signifying his role in providing abundance and agricultural fertility.
Meanwhile, the geography of Egypt has *tended* to somewhat isolate it from the broader Near East and the Mediterranean. Now that word tended also does a lot of work because there was almost always significant connectivity between Egypt and the Mediterranean, but at the same time periods of political *unity* involving Egypt and regions beyond it are rare and generally fairly brief, such as periods of Assyrian (670-656), Persian (525-404, 343-332) or Roman rule (31BC-646AD),[8](https://acoup.blog/2022/12/02/collections-why-roman-egypt-was-such-a-strange-province/#easy-footnote-bottom-8-16240 "One of these things is not like the others.") or of course the very brief period under Alexander before his empire fragmented.
Now its important to be clear what Im *not* saying here. **Older scholarship often posited a sort of culturally eternal Egypt which resisted the pressures of Romanization (itself now a contested term rarely used by scholars); that vision of a total lack of cultural exchange just doesnt hold up to the evidence**. There is a *lot* of evidence for Roman cultural identity emerging in Roman Egypt as time went on (so more in the second and third centuries AD than the first). And while Latin didnt catch on, we do see in Roman Egypt a continuation of the process (starting under the Ptolemies) whereby Greek steadily seems to supplant [Egyptian Demotic](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demotic_(Egyptian)), bringing Egypt linguistically more into the broader Roman world. **Importantly, that means that Roman Egypt seems to have become a *less* unusual part of the Roman world as time went on**. On the flip side, those were processes which took much of the Roman period to occur. In the meantime, Egypt was a place where Greek and Roman cultural elements coexisted with the worship of indigenous Egyptian divinities *millennia* older than *the city of Rome itself*.
## Conclusion
Theres certainly more we could talk about on this topic and I encourage anyone who wants to know more to browse the bibliography list at the beginning of this post. We havent, for instance, talked too much here about the Roman Army in Egypt, in part because of the whole Roman apparatus, the army seems to have been by far the most broadly typical of Roman rule: the Roman army was famously (Polyb. 6.41.10-12) the Roman army wherever it went. This is simply a very voluminous topic.
In no small part thats because so much research into the Roman Empire makes use of Egyptian papyrus evidence and thus in turn has to address the degree to which that evidence can be generalized. That means there are a *lot* of arguments over that question and I doubt that will change any time soon. That said, it does seem to me that the scholarly consensus on the question of the strangeness of Roman Egypt is very slowly narrowing, as both Roman Egypt and also the rest of the Roman world slowly but surely become clearer to us as the body of published archaeological, epigraphic and papyrological evidence grows larger. The great thing is that we are never left with a useless discovery: a fact about Roman Egypt which turns out not to be more broadly applicable to the rest of the Roman world is nevertheless something weve learned about Roman Egypt, which was itself an important and interesting place!
1. Stone is the big exception. People often assume that the ancients built everything in stone, which is really quite wrong: stone was a very expensive building material only used for the most important buildings. However all of the buildings made in wood, mudbrick, thatch and other perishable materials long since vanished (even brick tends to crumble much faster than stone), leaving only the stone buildings behind, a classic case of survivorship bias. Always be suspicious of they dont make em like they used to really meaning only the very highest quality products from the past tend to survive to the present.[](https://acoup.blog/2022/12/02/collections-why-roman-egypt-was-such-a-strange-province/#easy-footnote-1-16240)
2. A member of Romes economic elite (the *ordo equester* or equestrian class) who did not have an independent political career (which would confer membership in the Senate and thus the *ordo Senatus* in the imperial period). Emperors often employed officials drawn from the *equites* in various key bureaucratic positions which would either be beneath the dignity of a senator (being functionally secretarial in nature) or which would be too politically sensitive for a senator (who might be a potential political rival for an emperor).[](https://acoup.blog/2022/12/02/collections-why-roman-egypt-was-such-a-strange-province/#easy-footnote-2-16240)
3. In contrast to a provincial governor, who would have been a proconsul or propraetor in the provinces still controlled directly by the senate, or by a legatus Augusti in provinces controlled directly by the emperor (most of the provinces with meaningful military forces). Both pro-magistrates and legati were drawn from the members of the Senate who thus kept their traditional perogative of being Romes governors and army commanders, even under the empire.[](https://acoup.blog/2022/12/02/collections-why-roman-egypt-was-such-a-strange-province/#easy-footnote-3-16240)
4. on this, see Rathbone, *op. cit.* 84-5. There is considerable uncertainty as to if these lower level officials, often casually *called* liturgists but where we do not necessarily *know* their jobs were liturgic (that is, assigned to specific rich-people in a non-voluntary way of devolving state action on the wealthy).[](https://acoup.blog/2022/12/02/collections-why-roman-egypt-was-such-a-strange-province/#easy-footnote-4-16240)
5. These are seed yields, so for every 1 unit of seeds sown (typically measured in dry volume), four units are harvested.[](https://acoup.blog/2022/12/02/collections-why-roman-egypt-was-such-a-strange-province/#easy-footnote-5-16240)
6. P. Erdkamp, *The Grain Market in the Roman Empire* (2005), 44-5.[](https://acoup.blog/2022/12/02/collections-why-roman-egypt-was-such-a-strange-province/#easy-footnote-6-16240)
7. This is discussed by K. Blouin in C. Riggs, *op. cit.*)[](https://acoup.blog/2022/12/02/collections-why-roman-egypt-was-such-a-strange-province/#easy-footnote-7-16240)
8. One of these things is not like the others.[](https://acoup.blog/2022/12/02/collections-why-roman-egypt-was-such-a-strange-province/#easy-footnote-8-16240)
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Alias: [""]
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Date: 2022-02-20
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Link: https://thewalrus.ca/bitcoin-widow/
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Parent:: [[@News|News]]
Read:: [[2022-02-21]]
---
&emsp;
```button
name Save
type command
action Save current file
id Save
```
^button-ConfessionsofaBitcoinWidowNSave
&emsp;
# Confessions of a Bitcoin Widow: How a Dream Life Turned into a Nightmare
It was the fall of 2014. Jennifer Robertson was struggling with the fallout from a messy divorce and juggling weekend waitressing gigs to make ends meet. One night, at the urging of friends, she swiped right on Tinder—and met the love of her life.
Gerald Cotten was a Bitcoin entrepreneur. Robertson didnt know exactly what that meant, but she didnt think she needed to. Cotten was smart, successful, and kind. Over the next four years, as his company, QuadrigaCX, expanded exponentially, Cotten and Robertson, twentysomethings in love, became wealthy beyond their wildest imaginings. They acquired property, bought yachts and planes, travelled to exotic destinations. So much money rolled in so fast that they occasionally ended up with huge piles of cash on their kitchen counter.
In November 2018—one month after celebrating their wedding in a Scottish castle and just twelve days after Cotten signed a will naming Robertson his executor and sole beneficiary—they set off on what was supposed to be an extended honeymoon. Instead, suddenly, unexpectedly, almost inexplicably, a seemingly healthy thirty-year-old Cotten died in an intensive care unit in India, of complications from Crohns disease.
Overnight, their dream life became Robertsons worst nightmare. Cotten possessed the only key to the online vaults where his customers investments were supposedly stored. No one knew where to find $215 million belonging to more than 76,000 investors.
With investigators unable to trace the money and the company seeking creditor protection, a firestorm of unconnected dots, incendiary innuendo, and wild speculation quickly erupted on the internet.
Robertson, online posters insisted, was conspiring with Cotten, whod faked his own death and was hiding in some extradition-free backwater until they could rendezvous and live happily ever after. Or Robertson had murdered Cotten and was the real mastermind of a different plot.
Truth didnt matter much in the months after Cottens death, as the trolls began to stalk and threaten Jennifer Robertson.
—_Stephen Kimber_
“TICK-TOCK, tick-tock, tick-tock.” The disembodied voice at the other end of my phone line began in a singsong tone that morphed into what seemed like a death threat. “Times up.” _Click_. They—whoever “they” were—had found me.
Facebook had been the trolls first, and perhaps easiest, avenue to track me down. Someone must have identified me from photos of Gerry and me on my profile page and then used Facebook Messenger to send chilling messages to my friends. “Our money or violence your choice jen,” declared one sender, who appeared to have experienced losses in the Quadriga debacle and blamed me. “Im going to take one for the team and kill jen,” wrote another. I soon began receiving puzzled messages from Facebook friends. “Whats going on?” everyone wanted to know. I contacted Facebook. The best the company could suggest was to block trolls from future posts, but of course, the damage had already been done. And what about the next person who found out I was _that woman_?
People did find me. They uncovered my phone number, my email address. Soon, my personal information was all over the internet. I stopped answering the phone. I remember others pretending to be Gerrys friends, messaging me on platforms like WhatsApp, asking why I hadnt told people he had died and claiming that they wanted to go to the funeral. After a few such messages, I realized their senders were not who they claimed to be.
I had to change my phone number, shut down all my social media accounts, even get a new email address. It felt like being in a movie: I was no longer the director of my own life story. It had become a horror film with me in the role of both villain and victim. The comments were worst on platforms like Reddit, where I became known as “Dead Jen Walking” and Gerry was “allegedly dead Gerry.” According to someone who called himself Scamdriga, I had “married a scam artist and knowingly \[spent\] money on Fendi and Prada meanwhile hard working canadians get nothing.”
My family and friends warned me not to read what people were writing about me, but I couldnt help myself. I was like a moth being drawn to the flame and then consumed by it. It hurt in ways it shouldnt have when strangers not only didnt like me but appeared to actively hate me. I “deserved to be waterboarded for hours, then crucified.” But not just me—my father as well. “Hang her dad right in front of Jen.” Even my dogs! “How about you give us the location of Gerrys dogs so that we can light them on fire?”
I should not have been surprised, I suppose, that the story of Quadrigas missing millions would generate a media feeding frenzy. But I was still shocked to be targeted as someone who should be tortured and then murdered in various horrific ways. I know some were just venting, but others seemed deadly serious.
I became too frightened to even venture outside. After the pictures of our houses in Fall River, Nova Scotia, and Kelowna, BC, were posted online, I spent a few sleepless nights at my mothers house in Nova Scotia before renting a furnished apartment on a month-to-month basis at Bishops Landing, a condominium project beside Halifax Harbour, in the citys south end.
The harassment got so bad that I called the Halifax police. After that, the number of overt online death threats decreased. But none of it made me feel safe.
I was spending far too much time by myself in the apartment, feeling more alone than Id ever felt in my life, paying too much attention to my online bullies, and worse, worrying that they might be right. Who was I? Who was Gerry? Was this all my fault? Id become more scared for my life than ever and yet, in that same contradictory moment, had begun wishing for nothing more than to be dead. I was afraid to die, but I didnt want to live.
I refused to speak to journalists, partly because I wasnt emotionally ready and partly because I still didnt know enough to answer questions on the record. That didnt stop the press from writing stories featuring a version of me I barely recognized. “A Widow, a Laptop, and $190 Million: Whats Going On with QuadrigaCX?” demanded a headline on a web-based publication called _Finance Magnates_, which catalogued what it suggested was a “flurry of conspiracy theories,” including one that “Cottens death was faked as a way to hide the fact that the exchange is insolvent.” Faked by me? By me and Gerry conspiring together? What did they think had happened inside that ICU in India? Did they even care?
_BreakerMag_, another online publication that reported on the cryptocurrency industry, weighed in with a story headlined “11 Fishy Things About the QuadrigaCX Mystery.” “The more facts that come to light, the fishier it smells,” declared reporter Jessica Klein. Among the facts that smelled to her: our recent marriage. “You read that right,” Klein continued. “Cotten only got married about a month before his alleged death.” Alleged? Of course.
The _Globe and Mail_ dispatched a team of journalists across Canada and even to India to ferret out every scrap of information they could, “in a bid to better understand how \[Gerry\] died, but also to get a glimpse at how a man who carried the keys to vast sums of other peoples money lived.” Thanks to the posse of reporters, Quadriga creditors, and conspiracy theorists rummaging through the closets of Gerrys past, I soon began to learn all sorts of things I hadnt known, and some I hadnt wanted to know, about Gerald Cotten.
Even before I met him, Gerry was a well-known and sought-after cryptocurrency advocate. He often spoke at financial-technology conferences, was a member of the Bitcoin Foundation, and served as an adviser for a nonprofit called the CryptoCurrency Certification Consortium. He was frequently interviewed about the business of Bitcoin and was shown in a 2014 online video in which he helped two preschool kids insert a $100 bill into an early Bitcoin ATM in Vancouver to demonstrate just how easy it was to convert ordinary cash into cryptocurrency.
Bitcoin, I learned, is a form of cryptocurrency, which exists only in digital form and can be bought and sold and valued in transactions that are beyond the control of banks or governments. It was launched in 2009 by a mysterious and perhaps fictional person (or people) operating under the name Satoshi Nakamoto. The first commercial Bitcoin transaction took place in 2010, when a computer programmer in Florida bought two Papa Johns pizzas for 10,000 Bitcoins. A few months later, in July 2010, the real-world value of a single Bitcoin had rocketed from eight 10,000ths of a dollar to all of eight cents. But its value continued to increase exponentially, if erratically, as Bitcoin was discovered by all manner of investors, from curious financial dabblers to anti-establishment activists and even criminals who found the byzantine world of cryptocurrency an irresistible and convenient means to mask their black market transactions.
The value of a Bitcoin fluctuated wildly. Consider 2013, for example, the year Gerry began Quadriga. At the beginning of that year, you could buy a single Bitcoin for $13.28 (all figures in this paragraph US). In early April, the same Bitcoin was worth $230. A week later, it had tumbled back to $68.36. On December 3, the price peaked for the year at $1,237.55 before dropping, three days later, to $697.02, a collapse of nearly 45 percent. Still, the upward long-term trend seemed clear.
I tried to square the benign man I had known and loved with the shady scam artist described in the media.
The truth is, I still knew very little about Quadriga or how Bitcoin worked. I didnt even have my own Bitcoin account. Quadriga was Gerrys business, and that was fine with me. But, after he died, I had to learn quickly. I soon had to look up “Ponzi scheme.” According to reporters, Gerry had been involved in a number of similar frauds and scams before I met him; among them, he had served as a payment processor for a Costa Ricabased digital currency company that, according to _Vanity Fair_, was “used by drug cartels, human traffickers, child pornographers and Ponzis to launder money.” Gerrys business relationship with his former partner, Michael Patryn, dated back to 2003, to a time before Bitcoin, when Gerry was just fifteen. They had become involved with a website called TalkGold, which _Vanity Fair_ later claimed was “devoted to high-yield investment programs, or HYIPs, more commonly known as Ponzi schemes.”
I tried to square the benign man I had known and loved—the smartest, funniest, kindest person Id ever met, a man who had taught me so much, the only man Id ever known who offered me unconditional love, who made me feel like his number-one person always—with the shady scam artist described in the media reports. I couldnt. Everything kept getting worse. The _Globe and Mail_ tracked down one of Gerrys subcontractors—“part of a network of entities that helped move millions of dollars around so Quadriga could take deposits and facilitate withdrawals, sometimes in the form of physical bank drafts, for its clients”—to “a rundown, vinyl-sided trailer in rural New Brunswick” rented to Aaron Matthews, one of Gerrys payment processors, and his wife. The reporter encountered a man on the trailers porch who insisted no one by that name lived there. “He begrudgingly says his name is Jim. A short time later, he declines to answer any other questions. Visibly shaking, he demands a reporter and a photographer leave the property.”
There were, to be fair, larger issues at play in all these stories. Even if everything about Quadriga had been above board, the reality was that the company represented a much bigger problem for everyone involved. In less than a decade, cryptocurrency had grown exponentially in popularity, attracting all sorts of people for all sorts of reasons. If no one in authority—no government, no oversight body, no financial institution—seemed able to regulate the industry or protect consumers, thats because they couldnt. Cryptocurrencies were devised for the explicit purpose of circumventing the traditional financial world. But, of course, the more disorderly the industry became, the more susceptible it was to manipulation.
According to a financial prospectus I read about later, Quadriga claimed to be processing “between sixty and ninety per cent of the volume of digital currency exchange transactions in Canada” by November 2015. In 2017, Quadriga processed more than $1 billion (US) in trades from 363,000 individual accounts. Each side of each transaction earned revenue for Gerry. Meanwhile, Bitcoins themselves kept increasing in value—from about $400 (US) at the beginning of 2016 to more than $900 (US) by the end of the year and then to an unbelievable $13,000 (US) less than a year later. At one point in 2017, Gerry told me that the price of a single Bitcoin had risen to $25,000 and he was earning $10 million a month.
Although the Quadriga website assured clients that “all funds in the \[Quadriga\] system are highly liquid, and can be withdrawn at any time,” the reality was that clients had no way of verifying those claims beyond taking Gerry at his word. They did. And so did I.
The simple fact is that Gerry should never have been in a position to hold all the levers of a billion-dollar company with no internal or external oversight. I know that now. I didnt know it then. I didnt believe I needed to.
When Gerry did mention business problems to me, he was always vague. I knew he was frustrated with conventional banks, which he considered “anti-Bitcoin.” He vented occasionally about finding some way to take Quadriga out of the banking system entirely, but my understanding was that Gerry spoke as a legitimately aggrieved party, an ahead-of-his-time cryptocurrency entrepreneur whose business was being unfairly hamstrung by risk-averse bankers who wanted to control the Bitcoin industry.
I do remember Gerry telling me how careful he was to make sure his business was above reproach. He boasted that Quadriga had been the first cryptocurrency exchange in Canada to hold a money services business licence from the Financial Transactions and Reports Analysis Centre of Canada, the countrys antimoney laundering authority. So I didnt worry.
In February 2019, soon after Quadriga sought creditor protection, I met with the court-appointed monitor, a serious middle-aged man named George Kinsman. The meeting was suggested by Richard Niedermayer, a lawyer I had hired to help me through the complicated issues involving Gerrys estate. Kinsman was a Halifax-based partner at Ernst and Young who ran an Atlantic restructuring practice and, according to his LinkedIn profile, had spent “over twenty years providing solutions to corporate entities facing financing challenges.”
“You really should meet him,” I remember Niedermayer suggesting. “Youre someone who wears your heart on your sleeve. Once he meets you, hell realize that youre not capable of anything criminal. Perhaps, if he can put a face to the name, you can build a relationship with him.”
It didnt work out that way.
Niedermayer and I met Kinsman in a large boardroom at the downtown Halifax law office of Stewart McKelvey. He had a job to do: find out what had happened to the money and then recover as much of it as possible for Quadrigas customers.
In the weeks and months that followed, I turned over every email, every text message, every electronic device, every scrap of information requested. Even after Id answered every question about every personal expense for the previous year, for example, the emails kept pushing. Why did you buy this? Why did you do that? I wanted to tell him the truth: “Because we had lots of money. Because we could.” Sometimes, in his zeal, he overreached. At one point, he emailed Niedermayer to complain about a $90,000 payment to what he called a high-end travel company in Kelowna. I had no idea what he was talking about; when I checked, the high-end travel company was a La-Z-Boy store that had supplied all the furniture we bought for our Kelowna home.
On March 5, 2019, the lawyers all trooped back into court in Halifax for a hearing on Quadrigas request for a forty-five-day extension of its creditor protection while the monitor continued to try to sort out where the money had gone. A few days beforehand, Ernst and Young had released its latest report, documenting its very limited success to date in recovering what it now estimated was $215 million in cash and cryptocurrency that Quadriga supposedly held at the time it stopped operating.
The report did not shine a favourable light on Quadriga—or Gerry. The monitor said it had found one Quadriga account in a Canadian credit union containing $245,000. The account had been frozen since 2017. Ernst and Young also noted that the company had been “unable to locate or provide” formal accounting books or financial records, and the law firm was now trying to determine whether Quadriga had ever even filed any Canadian tax returns. Never filed taxes? I couldnt believe that. How many times had Gerry railed to me about “Trudeaus greedy government” or complained about the “millions of dollars” hed had to pay in taxes?
Another issue involved something called “wallets.” Since you cant keep cryptocurrency in conventional bank accounts, people use virtual wallets to store and protect their holdings. The wallets dont contain actual cryptocurrency but are just tools for managing the blockchain—the official record of whats been bought and sold. “Hot wallets” are connected to the internet and can be used by investors to buy, sell, and trade cryptocurrency with other users in real time. The downside of hot wallets is that, because theyre connected to the internet, theyre vulnerable to hackers. Which is where “cold wallets” enter the picture. They exist offline, often on usb sticks and CDs, so theyre more secure, but that makes it more difficult and time consuming to move them online for buying, selling, and trading.
Ernst and Young had managed to identify six Quadriga cold wallets so far but had found almost nothing inside any of them. In fact, it appeared as though the Bitcoins the wallets tracked had been transferred out in the months before Gerry died. Transferred by whom? To where? Why? “To date,” the report noted, “the applicants have been unable to identify a reason why Quadriga may have stopped using the identified bitcoin cold wallets for deposits in April 2018. However, the monitor and management will continue to review the Quadriga database to obtain further information.”
The monitor had written to ten of Quadrigas third-party payment processors asking for any funds they were holding on the companys behalf. So far, that effort had generated a paltry $5,000. “Further relief from the court,” Ernst and Young suggested in legalese, “may be necessary to secure funds and records from certain of the third-party processors.”
Ernst and Young had also contacted fourteen cryptocurrency exchanges where it believed the company—or Gerry—had opened trading accounts. The report noted that those accounts appeared to have been “artificially” created outside Quadrigas own normal process, using aliases no one could connect to an actual customer, and that these accounts had been “subsequently used for trading.” By Gerry? So far, only four of the exchanges had responded, and only one of those had confirmed that it held even “minimal cryptocurrency” on behalf of Quadriga.
The only bright spot in all of this was that RBC had finally agreed to deposit $25.3 million in court-held CIBC bank drafts into an account for disbursements. (CIBC had held up releasing the money for about a year in a dispute over who owned it.) The problem, as far as Quadrigas customers were concerned, was how the monitor planned to disburse the initial tranche of the money. Ernst and Young would get $200,000 and its lawyers $250,000. Another $230,000 would go to Quadrigas lawyers and $17,000 would be set aside to pay Quadrigas remaining contractors whod been working with the monitor.
But the biggest single payout listed was a $300,000 “repayment of shareholder advances.” That was to repay me for the amount Id agreed to put up from my personal accounts to cover costs associated with the companys initial creditor protection.
The lawyers representing Quadrigas creditors werent happy with any of it, least of all the idea that I was entitled to the largest portion—even though Id lent the money to the company in the first place. They noted that Ernst and Young had asked for more information from my lawyers as well as an agreement to freeze my assets while it reviewed any information we provided. “The repayment contemplated,” explained the creditors lawyers in a letter to the court, “is inappropriate until such time as the monitor has reviewed the requested information and satisfied itself as to the source of funds used to fund the CCA \[Companies Creditors Arrangement Act\] proceeding.”
In the end, none of the money I lent the company, which totalled $490,000, was ever reimbursed. Id voluntarily provided the amount from what I thought of at the time as my personal bank account, though my finances had by then become entangled with Gerrys and Quadrigas.
I still found it difficult—though no longer impossible—to believe Gerry might have intentionally done something wrong.
By this point, all I wanted to do was wash my hands of the whole thing. In preparation for the hearing, Id had to prepare yet another affidavit on behalf of the company, recommending the appointment of a new director who could straighten out Quadrigas tangled affairs and then sell the platform to someone else—anyone else—so I could finally grieve for the man Id loved.
I continued to find it difficult—though no longer impossible—to believe Gerry might have intentionally done something wrong. I resisted allowing myself to go there. The truth was that I still loved Gerry. Part of me felt as though our life together had been a dream, the best dream you could ever imagine, and now it was time to wake up. But to what? I spent a lot of time thinking, sifting, shuffling, trying to work things out in my head that never worked out.
Richard Niedermayer understood that my mental health depended on putting Quadriga in my rear-view mirror. He suggested approaching Kinsman with a settlement proposal that would allow me to extricate myself from the mire that Quadriga had become, keep what was mine, and get on with making a new life for myself. At the time, I was holding close to $12 million in properties, cash, and other assets on my own behalf and as Gerrys executor. We already knew that the monitor believed some of those assets might rightly belong to Quadriga. So we proposed that I would keep $5 million, mostly in rental properties from Robertson Nova—the residential property management company I built using Gerrys capital—while turning over everything else to the monitor and giving up any future interest in Quadriga, including whatever the platform might ultimately sell for. We thought it was a generous offer.
Niedermayer had agreed to work out the details. Now he was on the phone again with what I assumed was an update on the negotiations. That settlement, he told me simply, isnt going to happen.
Ernst and Youngs investigation, Niedermayer explained, had now concluded that Quadrigas investors money wasnt just missing. Gerry had stolen it. Hed set up fake accounts using fake names like “Aretwo Deetwo” and “Seethree Peaohh,” filled the accounts with fake cryptocurrency, and then used that to make real trades, gambling that the value of crypto would increase and he would make money. It didnt. Instead, the value fell and kept falling. Gerry had lost at least $100 million that Ernst and Young had been able to trace so far. Another $80 million remained unaccounted for. Worse, Gerry had mixed Quadrigas income with his own, using funds that belonged to Quadriga investors to finance his lifestyle. Our lifestyle! Our lives!
“There has to be something they dont understand,” I remember insisting to Niedermayer. “I mean, this is Bitcoin. They just dont understand Bitcoin. I dont understand Bitcoin. And Gerry was great at making trades. He did day trades, Questrade. He made money all the time.” I was babbling. “Seethree Peaohh? Gerry wasnt even a hard-core _Star Wars_ fan. Why would he?...I mean, Gerry loved to gamble. Its true. We would go to the casinos whenever we travelled, and we had fun, but Gerry was always the one who said, Weve spent enough. Lets go home.’” I was almost pleading now. “There has to be a mistake. Gerrys so smart. If he hadnt died, he could have explained—”
Niedermayer, I recall, cut me off calmly. “It doesnt really matter,” he replied, “because Gerrys not here. If he hadnt died, maybe none of this would have happened. But he did die, and he left nothing—no instructions, nothing. So now its all a matter for interpretation. And the monitor has decided this is the only interpretation that makes sense.”
I got off the phone and tried to fit together all those puzzle pieces I hadnt been able—or willing—to put into their logical places. I was no longer in denial that all the money the monitor claimed was missing really was. But how had it disappeared? I still couldnt understand or accept it. And, more importantly, why?
All I knew was that I felt empty, drained. How much worse could it get? And then, in the middle of all that, I thought of how much I missed Gerry, how much I needed him now.
![A magnifying glass aimed at a wedding ring reveals intricate finger prints upon closer investigation. ](https://walrus-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/img/Kimber_Bitcoin-widow_735.jpg)
Ernst and Young, appointed by the court to sort out Quadrigas financial situation, had decided it was time to shift Quadriga from creditor protection to bankruptcy proceedings. Bankruptcy would reduce costs for the company, so there would be more to distribute among Quadrigas thousands of creditors. Ernst and Young could now move on from its monitoring role to become Quadrigas trustee in bankruptcy.
The remaining question was how much of Quadrigas missing funds Ernst and Young could recover. Quadriga had 76,319 registered creditors, virtually all of them clients, who collectively claimed they were owed $214.6 million. So far, Ernst and Young had recovered only $32 million in cash, much of it the formerly frozen CIBC funds. It was tracking another million or so in the hands of uncooperative third-party payment processors, and the move to bankruptcy would give the trustee the “right to compel production of documents and seek examination of relevant parties under oath.”
The only other source of Quadriga funds ripe for recovery, the monitor suggested, was those assets I had believed were legitimately mine. “During the course of the monitors investigation into Quadrigas business and affairs, the monitor became aware of occurrences where the corporate and personal boundaries between Quadriga and its founder Gerald Cotten were not formally maintained, and it appeared to the monitor that Quadriga funds may have been used to acquire assets held outside the corporate entity.” Ernst and Young wanted me to agree, voluntarily, to what is known as an asset preservation order, so that it could do its work “without concern that assets possibly recoverable for the applicants stakeholders may be dissipated.”
I had no intention of parting with any of those assets. When I initially tried to sell the plane and the boat after Gerry died, my only purpose was to provide emergency funds to keep Quadriga operating. When I transferred my real estate into a trust, it was at my lawyers urging in order to protect what we then genuinely believed were my assets from getting tangled up in Quadrigas messy business affairs.
But, if I didnt immediately agree to the asset preservation proposal—under which Ernst and Young would allow me to continue to operate Robertson Nova under its supervision and earn a living, so long as I didnt try to sell any properties or move their ownership beyond the courts jurisdiction—Ernst and Young would escalate matters and ask the court for something called a Mareva injunction, a remedy that, as I understood it, would assume I was involved in fraud, freeze all my assets, and put my life under Ernst and Youngs complete control.
I agreed that asset preservation was my best option. Under the terms of the order, I would receive $10,000 a month. That may seem reasonableand it might have been—except I had to use that money not only to cover my current living expenses but also to maintain aspects of a lifestyle Gerry and I had lived but that I could no longer afford and yet, due to the court order, couldnt easily dispose of. I was still responsible for the upkeep, insurance, taxes, etc. on our house in Kelowna, for example, but I wasnt permitted to sell it without the trustees permission. It was another asset I was required to preserve—and pay for—until someone other than me decided what to do with it.
I was also still being pilloried regularly in the press and online. Along with Gerry, I remained the villain of this story. In early June, the FBI announced it was trying to identify victims of Gerrys fraud to “provide these victims with information, assistance services, and resources.” _Coindesk_, a cryptocurrency news site, reported that Australian authorities had even become involved. Australia? I knew I needed to find a way out of this morass. I went to Niedermayer and told him Id had more than enough. I was ready to write an ending to this chapter of my life. Instead of haggling over the details in court, I wanted to make a deal with the trustee for a fresh start.
At that point, the value of the assets I nominally controlled—all of which were under the asset preservation order—totalled around $12 million. Niedermayer and I talked about how much of that I might be able to keep in a settlement. Not much, he said. The reality was that wed be negotiating not only with the bankruptcy trustee but also with a committee representing those described as Quadrigas “affected users”—cheated investors who, understandably, wanted to claw back every penny Gerry had ever taken out of Quadriga. I told Niedermayer that, if it was indeed their money and that had been proven, then they should have it. It should go back to them.
I decided to propose a financial settlement I believed would be enough to satisfy Quadrigas creditors while -allowing me to press reset. On October 7, 2019, Ernst and Young accepted a deal in which I transferred over all assets including cash, investments, vehicles, loans, and real estate. In exchange, I got to keep what the agreement referred to as “excluded assets”: $90,000 in cash, my $20,000 RSP, my 2015 Jeep Cherokee with a book value of $19,000, my jewellery (including my wedding band and a pink sapphire ring Id bought in Greece, valued at $8,700, but not my engagement ring), personal furnishings up to a value of $15,000, and my “clothing and similar personal effects.” The trustee justified its decision to give me that much because “the estimated aggregate net realizable value of the excluded assets is likely less than the costs that would have been incurred in pursuing the trustees claims against Ms. Robertson, the estate and the controlled entities.”
In other words, it was cheaper for them to settle than to pay lawyers to fight me in court. My own lawyer put it another way: given that the assets I turned over were estimated to be worth $12 million, Id ended up with slightly more than 1 percent of the total value.
I didnt fall in love with Gerald Cotten because of his wealth. When we met, he didnt have that much, at least not by the fairy-tale standards Quadriga would set for us just a few years later. It was a bonus when the value of a single Bitcoin rocketed through the roof and Gerry appeared to be making more money than we could possibly spend in a couple of lifetimes. I wont lie: I loved being rich. I loved not having to ask, “Can I afford that?” I could—whatever it was. We could buy a house in Nova Scotia, another in British Columbia, even our own island with a yacht—not just a sailboat—to get us there. We could travel to exotic places.
It took me longer than many others to appreciate the extent of Gerrys deceit. Like much of the rest of the world, I learned about Gerrys fraud incrementally. It morphed, at first slowly and then suddenly, into a torrent of doubt that became an inexorable flood of accusation and, finally, a tidal wave of irrefutable evidence that almost swallowed me whole. What if Gerry really had been a bad person? Had I loved a bad person? If I had, did that make me a bad person too?
But, even as the evidence piled up daily in front of me, forming the story of a secretive, manipulative, deceitful, even criminal Gerry, I clung to the belief that he must have had a plan. If he hadnt died, I kept telling myself, Gerry would have been able to solve Quadrigas cash-flow problems, open the cold wallets, ensure that the companys investors got what they were owed, and make everything right with our world again. I now know that wasnt true.
_This piece was adapted with permission from_ Bitcoin Widow: Love, Betrayal and the Missing Millions _by Jennifer Robertson with Stephen Kimber, published by HarperCollins Canada in 2022._
[![Jennifer Robertson](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%2070%2070'%3E%3C/svg%3E)](https://thewalrus.ca/author/jennifer-robertson/)
Jennifer Robertson is a former HR specialist and property manager. She lives in Nova Scotia.
[![Stephen Kimber](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%2070%2070'%3E%3C/svg%3E)](https://thewalrus.ca/author/stephen-kimber/)
Stephen Kimber ([@skimber](https://twitter.com/skimber)) is an award-winning writer, editor, and broadcaster and the author of thirteen books. He also sits on the Educational Review Committee at The Walrus.
[![Annissa Malthaner](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%2070%2070'%3E%3C/svg%3E)](https://thewalrus.ca/author/annissa-malthaner/)
Annissa Malthaner is an artist and illustrator based in London, Ontario. Shes shown work at Mad Ones Gallery, in Toronto, and has illustrated work for _The Logic_ and _Readers Digest_.

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Date: 2022-02-13
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# Could COVID-19 And Alzheimer's Overlaps Point Towards A Solution For Both Diseases?
The medical community has suggested that calling [Omicron “mild”](https://www.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/is-calling-omicron-mild-misleading/) is folly considering the reach of this most contagious COVID-19 variant, which continues to [hospitalize the unvaccinated](https://www.rivm.nl/en/news/unvaccinated-covid-19-patients-in-hospital-nearly-20-years-younger-than-vaccinated-patients) and move easily among the vaccinated. A leading concern is that surviving COVID infection is only half the battle for some people who can be left with debilitating symptoms, including brain damage that shares [similarities with Alzheimers](https://www.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/could-covid19-increase-dementia-risk-in-the-future/). While its hard to find a silver lining to the pandemic cloud, that we are learning new insights into “[brain fog](https://www.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/brain-fog-is-afflicting-a-surprising-amount-of-people-after-covid19/)” brings some hope for the improved management of not just long COVID but Alzheimers, too.
A recent study published in the [Journal of the Alzheimers Association](https://alz-journals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/alz.12556) found that patients with COVID-19 and associated neurological symptoms had raised levels of seven markers of brain damage, and that these were higher  in the short term  than those seen in patients with confirmed Alzheimers disease.
“Traumatic brain injury, which is also associated with increases in these biomarkers, does not mean that a patient will develop Alzheimers disease or related dementias later on, but does increase the risk of it,” said senior author Dr Thomas M. Wisniewski, director of the Center for Cognitive Neurology at NYU Langone, in a [statement](https://nyulangone.org/news/blood-markers-brain-damage-are-higher-over-short-term-patients-who-have-covid-19-people-who-have-alzheimers-disease). “Whether that kind of relationship exists in those who survive severe COVID-19 is a question we urgently need to answer with ongoing monitoring of these patients.”
The connection is perhaps unsurprising in the context that cognitive symptoms reported with long COVID are similar to those of Alzheimers disease, including losing train of thought, difficulty grasping words, [brain fog](https://www.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/covid19-brain-fog-may-be-caused-by-bone-marrow-cells-invading-the-brain/), [memory loss](https://www.iflscience.com/brain/covid19-reduces-grey-matter-in-the-brain-beforeandafter-scans-reveal/), and personality changes.
High levels of [beta-amyloid proteins](https://www.iflscience.com/Could%20COVID-19%20And%20Alzheimer's%20Overlaps%20Point%20Towards%20A%20Solution%20For%20Both%20Diseases) could be one explanation for this, as these are known to build up in people who have Alzheimers disease. In the above mentioned study, these proteins were found to be raised among COVID-19 patients with neurological symptoms compared to other infected people without (for technical reasons, it wasnt possible to compare these concentrations to the participants with Alzheimers disease).
However, where this theory might fall down is in the result of several Alzheimers drug trials for medications that were thought to clear the brain of beta-amyloid proteins that found clearing them did little to improve [patients symptom profiles](https://www.biospace.com/article/a-long-line-of-failures-roche-drops-alzheimer-s-drug-trials/).
An alternative theory looks to inflammation in the brain as a possible cause of neurodegeneration, something that can be triggered by viruses, bacteria, or fungi. This approach would tie in with the finding that many COVID-19 patients were struck by something called a cytokine storm, a condition in which the immune system battles infections but essentially goes overboard and begins attacking tissues that dont contain pathogens.
This kind of autoimmune response has the potential to attack brain cells causing short-term neurological symptoms and possibly increasing future risk of developing a neurological disorder. We need only look to another of Earths deadly pandemics for insight here, as the Spanish Flu saw [over a million people](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7393211/) who survived the infection go on to develop post-encephalitic Parkinsons disease, a harrowing condition depicted in the movie _[Awakenings](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7exeVt7CaE4)_ (a great watch but one for which tissues are a **necessity**).
While the frustrating truth is that finding out [if COVID-19 will lead to future cases of Alzheimers](https://www.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/could-covid19-increase-dementia-risk-in-the-future/) is a matter of watchful waiting (at least for now), the more we learn about the overlap of these two diseases, the greater opportunities we have for interrupting the processes that lead to neurodegeneration.

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# Cowboys paid $2.4M over cheerleader allegations
**THE DALLAS COWBOYS** paid a confidential settlement of $2.4 million after four members of their iconic cheerleading squad accused a senior team executive of voyeurism in their locker room as they undressed during a 2015 event at AT&T Stadium, according to documents obtained by ESPN and people with knowledge of the situation.
Each of the women received $399,523.27 after the incident. One of the cheerleaders alleged that she clearly saw Richard Dalrymple, the Cowboys' longtime senior vice president for public relations and communications, standing behind a partial wall in their locker room with his iPhone extended toward them while they were changing their clothes, according to several people with knowledge of the events and letters later sent by attorneys for the cheerleaders to the team. Dalrymple gained entry to the back door of the cheerleaders' locked dressing room by using a security key card.
Dalrymple also was accused by a lifelong Cowboys fan of taking "upskirt" photos of Charlotte Jones Anderson, a team senior vice president and the daughter of team owner Jerry Jones, in the Cowboys' war room during the 2015 NFL draft, according to documents obtained by ESPN and interviews. The fan signed an affidavit that he was watching a livestream of the war room on the team's website when he said he saw the alleged incident.
Dalrymple, who did not respond to interview requests by ESPN, told team officials he entered the cheerleaders' locker room not knowing the women were there and left right away, a team source said. His account was contradicted by the way multiple sources described the alleged incident to ESPN. On Monday night, Dalrymple issued a statement calling both allegations false.
"People who know me, co-workers, the media and colleagues, know who I am and what I'm about," Dalrymple said in his statement. "I understand the very serious nature of these claims and do not take them lightly. The accusations are, however, false. One was accidental and the other simply did not happen. Everything that was alleged was thoroughly investigated years ago, and I cooperated fully."
A Cowboys representative said the team thoroughly investigated both alleged incidents and found no wrongdoing by Dalrymple and no evidence that he took photos or video of the women. The team does not dispute that Dalrymple used his security key card access to enter the cheerleaders' locker room while the women were changing clothes.
"The organization took these allegations extremely seriously and moved immediately to thoroughly investigate this matter," said Jim Wilkinson, a communications consultant for the team. "The investigation was handled consistent with best legal and HR practices and the investigation found no evidence of wrongdoing."
Even so, the team issued Dalrymple a formal written warning in October 2015, a person familiar with the matter told ESPN. A team source declined to provide a copy of the warning or describe what it contained, citing privacy concerns. The team also declined to detail information, including time-stamped data from surveillance cameras and security key cards, that would show precisely when Dalrymple entered and left the dressing room.
"If any wrongdoing had been found, Rich would have been terminated immediately," Wilkinson said. "Everyone involved felt just terrible about this unfortunate incident."
Dalrymple continued working for the Cowboys, in his same role, for nearly six years after the settlement. On Feb. 2, he told The Dallas Morning News of his immediate retirement after 32 years as Jerry Jones' chief spokesman and confidant. While Dalrymple thanked the team and the Jones family, no one on behalf of the team acknowledged his years of service, and his retirement was not mentioned on the team's website. His retirement came several weeks after ESPN began interviewing people about the alleged incidents and just days after ESPN contacted attorneys involved in the settlement. In his statement, Dalrymple said the allegations "had nothing to do with my retirement from a long and fulfilling career, and I was only contacted about this story after I had retired."
A signed copy of the May 2016 settlement agreement obtained by ESPN includes a nondisclosure agreement in which the four women, three of their spouses and Cowboys officials agreed to never speak publicly about their allegations.
ESPN knows the identity of the four cheerleaders but does not typically reveal the names of people who have reported allegations of sexual misconduct. The women either declined to comment for this story or did not respond to inquiries.
A former cheerleader familiar with the dressing-room incident said it became known among a few fellow cheerleaders.
"It hurt my heart because I know how much it affected the people who were involved," the former cheerleader said. "It was a very ... shut the book, don't talk about it, this person is going to stay in his position ... They just made it go away."
![](https://a.espncdn.com/combiner/i?img=%2Fphoto%2F2022%2F0203%2Fr969461_2712x1937cc.jpg&w=252&h=180&scale=crop&location=origin)
**DALRYMPLE HAD A** long personal history with the Cowboys and Jerry Jones and was seen by the owner as a member of the extended Jones family. In Dallas, he was the media gatekeeper and the team's high-profile fixer, often responsible for clarifying the owners' public statements. He was once ordered by receiver Dez Bryant in a crowded locker room to "fix this s---, Rich!" after Bryant got angry with a reporter. In 2015 and 2016, a team source said, Dalrymple lobbied football writers to elect Jerry Jones to the Pro Football Hall of Fame.
On Wednesday, Sept. 2, 2015, the Cowboys held their annual Kickoff Luncheon at AT&T Stadium, the official start of the regular season that helps raise money for charity. Circular banquet tables crowded the field nearly from end zone to end zone. Almost 2,000 people attended, including the Jones family, Cowboys luminaries including Emmitt Smith and Michael Irvin, and, as usual for special events, four Cowboys cheerleaders, clad in their unmistakable blue and white uniforms.
After waving their pompoms beside a lectern where several people delivered speeches, the cheerleaders returned to their locker room shortly after noon to quickly change their clothes before attending the luncheon.
At least two security guards usually stand outside the cheerleaders' dressing room when they are inside, sources told ESPN. But on this day, only one security guard was present. Inside the back door that was left unguarded was a small nook separated from the dressing room by a partial wall. The sources said the only way to unlock the door is with a security key card that Dalrymple, among other employees, possessed.
The women heard the door leading to the nook area open, sources said. "We're in here!" the women shouted. They assumed it was a security guard who immediately left, according to an account from multiple sources and relayed in a letter from the cheerleaders' attorneys to the team.
![](https://a.espncdn.com/combiner/i?img=%2Fphoto%2F2022%2F0216%2Flocker_schematic_ver_3b.jpg&w=137&h=180&scale=crop&location=origin)
Several minutes later, one of the cheerleaders noticed a man's hand and a black cellphone pointed in their direction, according to several sources. At the time, the women were going "from fully clothed to completely unclothed," a cheerleader later told a Cowboys HR official and the team's general counsel, Jason Cohen. The cheerleader who saw the cellphone was certain the man was lurking and taking photos or video of them, according to multiple sources.
That woman ran toward him, shouting, "Hey, what are you doing?" The cheerleader, a veteran of several years on the team, immediately recognized Dalrymple, who she said dashed away, according to the letter. The other women did not see the man, according to the letter.
The cheerleaders immediately reported what had happened to a security guard. Three people said the security guard wanted to report the incident to the Arlington police department. If the cheerleaders' allegations were substantiated, under Texas law it could be a misdemeanor to secretly observe someone without their consent and a felony to take a photo or video of "an intimate area of another person" without their consent.
The sources said the cheerleaders wanted to have it "properly investigated," but the police were not called. The chaos delayed the four cheerleaders' arrival to the luncheon by nearly 30 minutes. When they arrived, Kelli Finglass, the cheerleaders' director, was sitting at a round table with other people, including several team sponsors, unaware of what had just transpired. "What took so long?" she asked the women, the former cheerleader said. The cheerleaders couldn't answer the question truthfully in that setting and instead simply said they had been delayed, sources said.
After the luncheon, the cheerleaders huddled with Finglass, who suggested that the women should report the incident to the Cowboys' HR department, a source said. The source added that all four cheerleaders wanted Dalrymple punished.
Wilkinson said the Cowboys' investigation started later that day. Here's how he laid it out: Human resources officials took statements by phone from the cheerleaders, the security guard and two other employees who might have been witnesses. Cohen, the general counsel, confiscated Dalrymple's work-issued iPhone and obtained passwords for his phone and iCloud account. Cohen also conducted the first of multiple interviews with Dalrymple, who acknowledged using his security key card to enter what he thought was an empty locker room. He also denied using his phone to collect images of the women, Wilkinson said. During the security guard's interview, he did not tell team officials that he had wanted to call police. The security guard did not respond to multiple interview requests from ESPN. In the days that followed, Cohen sent Dalrymple a letter ordering him to preserve any evidence related to the allegation, Wilkinson said.
It took eight days after the incident for team officials to meet with the women in person. The cheerleaders met individually with the chief of HR and Cohen in a conference room at Valley Ranch, then the team's headquarters, a source said. The source insisted that those meetings were the first time team officials interviewed the women and that any discussions on Sept. 2 were "perfunctory." At those Valley Ranch meetings, team officials told each of the women that they had interviewed Dalrymple, who insisted that he had entered their locked dressing room only to use the bathroom and did not expect to find them there.
A source said the women were incredulous for two reasons: One cheerleader said she clearly saw Dalrymple with the cellphone sticking out from beyond a wall pointed at them. And the cheerleaders noted that there was a bathroom across the hall from their dressing room. In notes from one of the HR meetings obtained by ESPN, Cohen told a cheerleader that the team had searched Dalrymple's iPhone and hired a forensics firm to ensure no images had been deleted. A cheerleader asked Cohen whether the team looked into any personal phones Dalrymple might have had. Cohen responded that Dalrymple insisted he had only the phone he turned over to the team; a team source said Dalrymple told the team he did not own a personal phone.
"This to me is a grievous offense," the woman said, according to the notes.
Cohen told the cheerleader that "\[Dalrymple\] understands he was this close to being fired and still will be fired if anything even remotely like this comes to light," according to the notes, and that Dalrymple did not deny being in the locker room. "At no point did he deny anything up until the video part," Cohen said, according to the notes.
"Could he have lied to me? Of course," Cohen told the cheerleader, according to the notes. "But I said to him point blank, 'Is this the phone you had yesterday and he said 'yes.'"
The HR chief, the notes said, told the woman the team "examined the phone thoroughly. ... There was no evidence of any videos, there was no evidence of anything that was sent out, no evidence of photographs."
Team officials repeatedly assured that they were taking the allegation seriously, according to the notes. "This is a huge deal," the HR chief said, and later, "We care about you guys. We don't want you feeling awkward at work."
HR also offered the woman resources, including "professional resources," according to the notes. And Cohen offered to connect the cheerleader with a friend who is an attorney, the notes said.
Two sources said the cheerleaders and their lawyers were not told whether images from security cameras, deployed all over AT&T Stadium, had been consulted or might have recorded any of the incident. One said the women were angry because they felt that team officials seemed to have concluded Dalrymple had done nothing wrong before the cheerleaders were formally interviewed eight days after the incident. "It was a 'he said, she said' -- and the team chose to believe Dalrymple's side of things," a source with knowledge of the allegations said about how the cheerleaders' felt. "But four women swore this happened."
The cheerleaders were instructed by their bosses not to go public and not to tell their teammates what had happened, multiple sources said.
Frustrated and angry, the women hired W. Kelly Puls, a Fort Worth attorney, later that month to represent them in a possible lawsuit against the Cowboys, according to sources. The cheerleaders "were upset and felt certain the team wasn't going to do anything about it," a source added. "They were told to just keep cheering -- and saw Dalrymple often at games and events."
Puls sent certified letters to top Cowboys executives, including Jerry Jones, demanding that "all evidence be preserved," including all data on Dalrymple's cellphones, images from security cameras and records from Dalrymple's security key card that would show all the times he had gained access to the cheerleaders' locked dressing room, a source said.
At the same time, the cheerleaders and their attorneys also began searching for other evidence of any alleged misconduct by Dalrymple. One of them discovered a curious post on a Facebook page by a Shreveport, Louisiana, schoolteacher and lifelong Cowboys fan named Randy Horton. He posted on a TV station's page that he'd seen something strange while watching a live video feed from the Cowboys' draft "war room" on April 30, 2015, as team officials celebrated their first-round selection of Byron Jones, the University of Connecticut cornerback.
Horton also wrote to Charlotte Jones directly on Facebook: "In case you haven't been made aware already, that guy Rich Dalrymple, who was sitting in the back corner of the war room last night, on several occasions reached over and took upskirt pictures with his phone during the LIVE STREAM!! My wife and I watched in amazement. It happened when you guys stood up celebrating when you learned that you would be able to pick the Jones kid. I believe Carolina was on the clock at the time. Go check it out!"
A team source said Charlotte Jones did not see Horton's post. "Charlotte is obviously not sitting around reading Facebook," the source said.
Horton told ESPN that he saw Dalrymple hold his phone under Charlotte Jones' skirt and several times appear to snap photos.
"I'll never forget what I saw," Horton said. "The first time he reached out from a sitting position behind her, and she is standing with her back to him, and did it once ... He looked at the screen, touched the screen and then did it again. The second time, he's sitting in a chair at the corner of the table on the left and he held his phone beneath the corner of the table with the camera side facing up where she was standing. And did it again.
"I have no doubt in my mind of what it was he was doing. It was obvious."
![](https://a3.espncdn.com/combiner/i?img=%2Fphoto%2F2022%2F0203%2Fr969459_999x683cc.jpg&w=263&h=180&scale=crop&location=origin)
Horton said he tried and failed to capture the images on his laptop. He then posted a message about what he'd seen to the Facebook page for local TV station KSLA as "something one of your reporters might want to look into."
One person replied to the Facebook post to the TV station, saying he'd also seen what Horton saw.
The cheerleaders' legal team found Horton's post and obtained a digital copy of the livestream. ESPN was not able to obtain a recording of the war room video. A team source declined to say whether they have it.
The Cowboys had been alerted to the "upskirt" allegation in May 2015 -- a few weeks after it happened and four months before the cheerleaders' locker room allegation. A team source said a tipster told HR officials of the "upskirt allegation." The source said HR watched the video and found no wrongdoing by Dalrymple.
"The most basic common sense tells you that if Jerry Jones believed in any way that someone had even remotely done something like that to any member of his family, that person would have been fired immediately," Wilkinson said.
Although the Cowboys had closed the books on the war room allegation, the cheerleaders' lawyers raised it in a Sept. 30, 2015, letter to Cowboys lawyers that was obtained by ESPN. The letter said attorneys planned to present evidence that the alleged war room incident showed Dalrymple's "vulgar propensities" that should have resulted in him losing access to the dressing room. In their letter, the attorneys questioned why Dalrymple used the cheerleaders' bathroom when "a men's restroom was 20 feet away."
While the cheerleaders' lawyers were pursuing their investigation, Dalrymple hired a Dallas attorney, George Parker.
"I strongly advised him at the time that if he were fired for this incident, given the lack of evidence and no specific finding of wrongdoing, he would have grounds for a wrongful termination claim," Parker told ESPN via a statement issued by Wilkinson. Parker did not respond to ESPN's request for an interview.
The Cowboys issued the disciplinary letter to Dalrymple on Oct. 19, 2015, not long after he hired Parker. And the team revoked Dalrymple's access to the cheerleaders' locker room, sources said.
The Cowboys also made sweeping security changes around the cheerleaders' locker room, Wilkinson said. They reconfigured security key card access to locker rooms for all staff and added cameras, new signs and new communications to alert security staff when locker rooms were in use. The source said they also ensured that cheerleaders were aware of HR and legal resources, employee assistance programs and an anonymous NFL hotline.
In the weeks after the incident, the four cheerleaders were presented with a difficult choice by their lawyers: Go public with what had happened at a news conference or settle quietly with the team and never speak about the incident. "Wasn't much of a choice," the former cheerleader said. "Neither option was good."
![](https://a.espncdn.com/combiner/i?img=%2Fphoto%2F2022%2F0203%2Fr969470_2850x1911cc.jpg&w=268&h=180&scale=crop&location=origin)
**FOR MONTHS, THERE** was an impasse between the two legal teams while the four women continued cheering at games and other events.
In the spring, Horton was surprised to be contacted by an attorney for the cheerleaders who met with him in a Shreveport casino. On April 18, 2016, Horton swore to a three-page affidavit about the "upskirt" video. The cheerleaders' lawyer returned to Dallas with the affidavit, which he described to the Cowboys' legal team, sources said.
Within weeks, a settlement/nondisclosure agreement was drawn up that bound the women and the team executives to secrecy. On May 16, 2016, the agreement was signed by the four cheerleaders and their spouses and lawyers. The Jones family -- Jerry Jones, sons Stephen and Jerry Jr. and Charlotte Jones Anderson -- and Dalrymple signed soon after, denying any wrongdoing and that the alleged voyeurism even took place.
"Instead, this Agreement is to be construed solely as a reflection of the Parties' desire to facilitate a resolution of a bona fide disputed claim and all other potential claims between the Parties through the date this Agreement is executed," the settlement states.
The agreement specifically bars the cheerleaders from disclosing any "aspect of the incident regarding Charlotte Jones Anderson," referring to the war room incident recounted by Horton.
A team source denied that Horton's affidavit spurred the $2.4 million settlement.
ESPN confirmed that the team initially paid the cheerleaders, spouses and their lawyers a total of $1.8 million in June 2016. Each of the cheerleaders was paid $249,523.37, with three law firms getting the rest -- a total of $801,906 in fees and expenses. Another $600,000 was paid by the Cowboys over the course of the next year, with three cheerleaders getting $12,500 a month for a year and the fourth being paid $150,000 after her final season.
One of the only exceptions for the cheerleaders to remain silent is if they were forced "to respond to subpoena by federal, state or local regulatory authorities or governmental agencies." The agreement also gives strict instructions on how the cheerleaders and their spouses should respond if asked about their voyeurism allegations: They "may only respond with 'No Comment.'"
ESPN attempted to contact more than 100 former cheerleaders and other former team employees and most who did respond to inquiries declined to comment. Dozens did not respond to phone, email and text messages.
![](https://a4.espncdn.com/combiner/i?img=%2Fphoto%2F2022%2F0203%2Fr969458_1296x729_16%2D9.jpg&w=320&h=180&scale=crop&location=origin)
There was a provision in the settlement agreement for one of the cheerleaders to cheer that fall, and for another to work elsewhere in the organization, according to the agreement. Two of the cheerleaders were eligible to stay on the team for the 2016-17 season but chose not to.
Director of cheerleaders Kelli Finglass did not answer questions from ESPN. In a statement released by Wilkinson, Finglass said, "This 2015 incident was taken seriously and immediately reported to HR and legal, who launched a full and immediate investigation. The organization further strengthened the security protocols for the DCC."
Wilkinson said, "The cheerleaders are a vital part of the Dallas Cowboys family, and in terms of the settlement, the organization wanted to go above and beyond to ensure the cheerleaders knew that their allegations had been taken extremely seriously, and immediately and thoroughly investigated."
Like other professional sports teams and American corporations, the Cowboys have a culture of often asking employees to sign nondisclosure agreements when striking settlements with former employees -- and even current ones -- who allege workplace misconduct or wrongdoing. And as a matter of routine when leaving the team, many former Cowboys employees have signed NDAs, including the hundreds of women who have worked for them as cheerleaders. Asked whether the Cowboys would release the four cheerleaders and their spouses from the NDA they signed, a team source declined to comment. In addition, a team source declined to say whether Dalrymple asked the team's permission to break his NDA connected to the settlement agreement.
Six years later, the memory of the incident has not been forgotten by the women impacted by what they say was a violation of their privacy by an influential team executive, a source said: "They are still extremely upset. They saw it as a violation of their privacy that went unpunished."
The settlement remained confidential until five months ago, when ESPN received a tip from a former Cowboys executive about the allegations involving Dalrymple. Wilkinson called a reporter in November, offering to answer questions after ESPN began calling dozens of people around the team.
ESPN sought interviews with Jerry Jones, along with Stephen, Jerry Jr. and Charlotte, as well as Cohen. Through Wilkinson, they declined to comment. Two attorneys for the cheerleaders who were listed on settlement documents, Carlos R. Cortez of Dallas and W. Kelly Puls also declined comment for this story.
![](https://a2.espncdn.com/combiner/i?img=%2Fphoto%2F2022%2F0203%2Fr969463_2999x2114cc.jpg&w=255&h=180&scale=crop&location=origin)
**THE COWBOYS' ICONIC** team of 36 cheerleaders are as much a symbol of America's Team as its starred helmets. More than 850 cheerleaders have worn the uniform. They've appeared in a pair of made-for-TV movies and a documentary, and they're always on the sidelines at Cowboys games and during team events at AT&T Stadium and in the community. They have their own popular reality TV show, "Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team," now in its 16th season on CMT.
Revelations about the Cowboys come at a perilous time for the National Football League, on the heels of questions about workplace sexual harassment that emerged during the league's inquiry of the Washington Commanders.
In October, the leak of a handful of misogynistic, racist and anti-gay emails sent by former Las Vegas Raiders coach Jon Gruden to former Commanders president Bruce Allen got the attention of several members of Congress, who have demanded the NFL release all 650,000 emails gathered during the NFL inquiry into alleged wrongdoing by team leaders. More recently, The Washington Post reported that longtime team owner Dan Snyder had tried to thwart the investigation. Questions about the transparency of the inquiry into the Commanders -- and the NFL's responses to Congress -- have bedeviled commissioner Roger Goodell and other league and team executives all season.
Notably, critics have questioned why the league did not release a report by the outside lawyer hired to investigate the Commanders. Documents released this month by the U.S. House Oversight and Reform Committee, which is investigating the Commanders and the NFL's handling of the inquiry, showed that the league may not be able to publicly release the findings of its investigation without Snyder's explicit permission. A second document showed the Commanders requested a "written investigation" from the law firm the team hired to conduct the probe. Goodell had previously said the league couldn't release the internal investigation because the law firm presented its findings orally.
Jerry Jones, the league's most influential owner, was asked in November by HBO's Bob Costas whether Snyder had become "a liability" for the NFL, and he responded simply, "No." He insisted that he welcomes efforts by the committee, which has started to gather information by requesting documents and interviewing former Commanders employees about their allegations of sexual harassment and verbal abuse. "Certainly in every way does the NFL want to cooperate with anything Congress asks of it there," Jones said in the interview. 
While saying he was satisfied with the NFL's inquiry, Jones also said he would welcome similar scrutiny of the Cowboys' front office and its practices. "As a matter of fact, on a personal basis, the more transparent, the more you're behind the scenes, the more you're involved, to me, the more you enjoy the game," Jones said. "I think when we ask the country to be as interested in pro football as you are, then you should expect those kinds of questions. And certainly, social issues are a huge part of our lives today."
_Don Van Natta Jr. is a senior writer for ESPN. Reach him at Don.VanNatta@espn.com. On Twitter, his handle is @DVNJr. ESPN's Terrika Foster-Brasby, Maya A. Jones, Greg Amante and John Mastroberardino contributed to this report._

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# Cuban missile crisis: The man who saw too much
Three stories beneath the ground, in a bunker equipped with a thick metal door like a bank vault, a young, blue-eyed Airman 1st Class reported for his usual midnight shift.
He knew this night, October 15, 1962, could be consequential, though plenty of others had been, too. As a photo interpreter with the Strategic Air Command stationed at Offutt Air Force Base outside of Omaha, Nebraska, Don Duff had helped discover previously unknown missile sites in Siberia and Mongolia using images from the satellites that constituted Americas surveillance response to the Soviet Unions Sputnik I — the first successful, Earth-orbiting satellite, which marked the beginning of the space race and a new era of the Cold War.
![Cuban_Missle_Crisis_1.jpg](data:image/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB4bWxucz0iaHR0cDovL3d3dy53My5vcmcvMjAwMC9zdmciIHZlcnNpb249IjEuMSIgaGVpZ2h0PSI1NjBweCIgd2lkdGg9Ijg0MHB4Ij48L3N2Zz4=)
President John F. Kennedy amid the Cuban missile crises, in the fall of 1962.
Bettmann via Getty Images
Now, five years later, the U.S. remained deeply distrustful of the Soviets. Including the nations intelligence apparatus, which for several years had taken a particular interest in Cuba. The 1959 Cuban revolution that brought Fidel Castro to power had revealed its Communist character, and the spectacular failure of the Bay of Pigs invasion in April 1961 had entrenched not only Castros government but its alliance with Moscow. And Moscow, it had become clear, was prepared to exploit that partnership. 
A since-declassified CIA report dated August 22, 1962, detailed a military buildup on the island starting in at least late July. Informants reported that Soviet ships were hauling in huge amounts of military equipment very quickly — a first outside the Soviet bloc. “Clearly,” the report concluded, “something new and different is taking place.” What exactly that something was, though, the U.S. government wasnt sure. 
To find out, it began deploying U-2 spy planes to conduct surveillance of Cuba. On the night of October 13, at 11:30 p.m., Pacific Time, U-2 pilot Richard Heyser took off from Edwards Air Force Base in California in a newly modified aircraft and flew over Arizona, New Mexico and Texas en route to western Cuba. With crystal-clear skies, he turned on his cameras as he darted in and out of Cuban airspace, hoping to avoid the deadly consequences of Soviet anti-aircraft missiles. Six minutes and 928 photos later, Heyser turned toward Florida and landed at McCoy Air Force Base. Representatives from the CIA, as well as Strategic Air Commands director of intelligence, Lt. Gen. Robert Smith, awaited him.
> The Cuban missile crisis has renewed relevance this year, with the war in Ukraine arguably bringing the world the closest its been to nuclear conflict since 1962.
Duff admits this is where the history gets murky. Most textbooks and government reports skip over how what happened next unfolded. But 60 years after those fateful days brought the world to the brink of nuclear destruction, Duff,  now 83, with a few wispy strands of white hair jutting from his pink scalp and a slight shake in his hands, maintains his place in history. 
That history has renewed relevance this year, with the war in Ukraine — and Russia not-so-subtly implying its potential use of nukes — arguably bringing the world the closest its been to nuclear conflict since 1962. Duff sighs at the prospect. He knows better than just about any living American how close weve come in the past, and remains very proud of what he did to prevent such a catastrophe back in 62. With a navy-blue veteran cap commemorating his service in the Cuban missile crisis perched atop his head — a cap he custom-made himself — the longtime Utah resident repeats what hes been repeating for decades. He repeats whats been playing on loop in his mind all that time, something that the authors of history books on the crisis never acknowledge: Don Duff found the missiles. He identified them first. 
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Don Duff grew up in the shadow of World War II — the era of that unique species of hero, the American G.I. Duff was fixated on such heroism from the time he was five or six. “I used to be able to sing all the songs,” he says with pride. Perhaps it started with his older brother, whod served in the Navy. Perhaps it started by reading American history texts. Or maybe he was inspired by his own familys history, which he says goes back to the American Revolution, the War of 1812 and the Civil War. “I had a strong sense of patriotism,” he says, “so I figured it was my duty to enlist and serve my country.”
![Cuban_Missle_Crisis_2.jpg](data:image/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB4bWxucz0iaHR0cDovL3d3dy53My5vcmcvMjAwMC9zdmciIHZlcnNpb249IjEuMSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxMjM5cHgiIHdpZHRoPSI4NDBweCI+PC9zdmc+)
Don Duff in Salt Lake City, July 2022, nearly 60 years after he identified a Soviet missile in an image taken high above Cuba.
Laura Seitz for the Deseret News
He did so at 20 years old, opting for basic training at Lackland Air Force Base, outside of San Antonio. On the ride down, as far as he could tell, he was the only person in his batch of recruits whod volunteered; everyone else had been drafted or forced into it by some other means. Perhaps thats why his drill instructor made him the barracks chief, in charge of 40 soon-to-be soldiers. He didnt love the idea; he was shy, he admits. But he agreed, and he cant argue with the results. “The military made me speak out,” he says, “and stand by my values.”
When the time came to pick a specialty, the drill instructors recommended he become one of them. But he liked photography, so he opted to specialize in aerial photo interpretation instead. That meant three months at Sheppard Air Force Base in Wichita Falls, Texas. 
Once, in the middle of a hot Texas summer, he was standing at the front of a line of stationary soldiers and felt something hit him in the back. The guy behind him had passed out from the heat. Duff tried to help him, but his instructor told him to get back into position. “No sir, I cant do that,” he remembers saying. “I take care of my men.” Such moments made him confident that should the time arise to say something important — something his commanders, his country or even the world needed to know — hed be prepared. 
“That stuck with me. I didnt think I could speak out like that,” he says. “But you learn.”
---
Duff turned 24 years old on the day Heysers U-2 flight snapped the first photos of western Cuba. His birthday party was at a friends trailer house, off base, where he enjoyed a home-cooked dinner and a cake. “I guess Ill head back to the base and get ready for my midnight shift,” he told his friends. 
The facility where his unit processed photos was among the most secure in the country. To reach it, he needed to walk into the headquarters of Strategic Air Command and show identification to a watchful guard. That granted him access to an elevator, which he took three floors down into the earth. Another guard waited to perform another inspection, which granted him access to a hallway. Down that hallway, he took a left turn toward the Command Center. The photo interpretation lab was right beside it. To gain entrance, a person needed not only top-secret clearance, but access to a rotating code word. Duff knew this procedure well. One time, while on guard duty inside the bank vault-like door, he heard someone buzzing in from the outside. “Whos there?” Duff called through a keyhole latch. “This is General Smith,” came the answer — Strategic Air Commands director of intelligence. 
“Oh, good morning general,” Duff called back. “Whats the password?” 
“This is General Smith, I dont need a password,” he answered, followed by a thunderstorm of expletives. “Who the hell do you think I am,” Duff remembers him saying, “Mickey Mouse?” 
Duff didnt budge, and Smith left fuming, promising punishment to come. Duff reported the incident to his commanding officer. “You probably wouldve caught some hell if youd have let him in,” the colonel told him. “Ill take care of it.” Duff never heard about it again. 
> “That was actually a major motivator for guys like me. If you work hard, you could be a hero like Don Duff.’” — Robert King, retired air force lieutenant colonel
Luckily, no one would bother them as October 14 wore on into the next day. Using machines called “Iteks” — imagine a big-screen TV with a large hand-crank to roll the film through and various knobs and joysticks to zoom in and adjust — two crews pored over Heysers snapshots in a cramped darkroom. 
Prior to Duffs shift some lower-resolution film had been sent to Offutt, and one of Duffs colleagues, a former roommate, had taken a look at the image during the day shift and identified missile trailers. Now Duff instructed the technicians to focus on that particular installation. At around 2 a.m., he noticed something. “Lets zoom in on this picture,” he told a fellow interpreter. “You see this missile trailer? It looks like part of this missile is sticking out of the trailer. Maybe theyre unloading it.” The missile in question appeared to be covered with canvas, but his eyes were well trained; he could make out the exposed edge. And using knowledge of Soviet weaponry, he identified it as an SS-4 medium-range ballistic missile, capable of delivering a nuclear warhead from Washington, D.C., to San Antonio, and anywhere in between. 
---
In the immediate aftermath, Duff had no way of knowing what was happening behind the scenes, at the highest levels of American government. He had no way of knowing that, at 8:45 in the morning on October 16 — at least according to the official history — national security adviser McGeorge Bundy informed President John F. Kennedy of the missiles, leading Kennedy to call an emergency meeting of his top advisers in the White House Cabinet Room at 11:45 that same morning. At that first “ExCom” meeting, featuring the secretaries of defense, treasury and state; the chairman of the joint chiefs of staff; and Attorney General Robert F. Kennedy, among others, President Kennedy decided that the missiles had to be removed, without question. Before long, the rest of the world would know that imperative, too. 
On October 22, at 7 p.m. Eastern time, Kennedy [addressed the nation](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYVPx3x3oCg) from the Oval Office. “Within the past week, unmistakable evidence has established the fact that a series of offensive missile sites is now in preparation on that imprisoned island,” he told the country. “Upon receiving the first preliminary hard information of this nature last Tuesday morning at 9 a.m., I directed that our surveillance be stepped up.”
Duff, watching from a TV in a barracks breakroom at Offutt, seized on “unmistakable evidence” and “preliminary hard information.” Hed spent the past week poring over more photographs from Cuba, identifying more potential missile sites. “We knew it was pretty tense, and we knew that what he (Kennedy) was saying — We have discovered missile sites in Cuba — that was our work,” Duff says. In his head, he thought, “Were the ones who gave him that.”
Over the next seven days, Kennedy and Soviet Premier Nikita Khrushchev exchanged nine official letters while also sparring through [various backchannels](https://www.cfr.org/blog/twe-remembers-adlai-stevenson-dresses-down-soviet-ambassador-un-cuban-missile-crisis-day-ten). At Offutt and at military bases around the country, the U.S. prepared for war. Offutt had gone to DEFCON 3 on October 20 and to DEFCON 2 on October 24, meaning that nuclear war was near. 
Planes were in the air at all times, heading toward Soviet territory, turning back near the border until the order was given to proceed with an attack. Offutt was home to a refueling squadron, and one morning, after Duff had finished his shift at 8 a.m. and was walking the quarter mile to the chow hall, he noticed one of those planes — a massive Boeing KC-135 — rumbling down the 10,000-foot runway. “It was really going,” he remembers. “You could hear the motors.” And it just barely made it off the ground, he recalls, given how heavily loaded it was with fuel. Nuclear war loomed as heavily as it ever had. The Strategic Air Command headquarters, hed been assured, was very well-built; strong enough, in fact, to withstand a direct hit if youre underground. “Yeah,” Duff thought, “but how do you get out from underground?” 
> “(The CIA) claims credit for everything. The Air Force was never given credit for this stuff, and neither was our unit.” — Don Duff
On October 27, Russian forces shot down Rudolf Anderson Jr.s U-2 during another reconnaissance flight over Cuba, killing the pilot. To make matters worse, another U-2 flying a mission in Alaska got off course and ended up in Soviet territory, prompting the Soviets to scramble their fighters, and prompting the Americans to do the same. What followed became known as “Black Saturday” — in the words of Kennedy aide Arthur M. Schlesinger Jr., “the most dangerous moment in human history.” Kennedy understood exactly what was happening; his experience as a veteran of World War II had taught him that regardless of a commanders intentions, randomness — mistakes, misfires, disobeyed orders — were endemic to warfare. In this situation, though, the burden of that entropy could mean literal human extinction. 
Duff, who believed an invasion of Cuba was imminent, made an unusual request of his commanding officer the following day. With the crisis spiraling out of control, hed heard rumors that the invasion would take place around 9 a.m. “I know were supposed to get off at 8 oclock,” he said, “but with the tenseness outside, can I stay in and clean the rooms for a couple hours?” 
---
The Death of Anderson, the U-2 pilot, proved a turning point. Both Kennedy and Khrushchev realized the situation was evolving into something they couldnt guide. On October 28, they [struck a deal](https://www.jfklibrary.org/learn/about-jfk/jfk-in-history/cuban-missile-crisis): Kennedy pledged that the U.S. would not invade Cuba; in exchange, the Soviets would dismantle and remove the missiles. (The U.S. also agreed to remove its own missiles from Turkey at a later date, though that detail wasnt revealed until decades later.) Duff personally breathed a sigh of relief in early November, as he continued reviewing surveillance footage from Cuba. “We could see,” he recalls, “that they were being dismantled.”
Kennedy visited Offutt that December to thank the Air Force for its contributions during the Cuban missile crisis. “The amount of flights made during that period of time, the amount of men that were involved, was a record unparalleled by any country in the history of air power,” Kennedy said during [his public remarks](https://www.jfklibrary.org/asset-viewer/archives/JFKWHA/1962/JFKWHA-146-006/JFKWHA-146-006). “There is no doubt that it contributed greatly to the maintenance of the peace and the security of the United States and those countries associated with us. … We are very much indebted to you all.” Duff couldnt attend himself, but he did earn a special ribbon that he still keeps pinned to his Air Force Blues. And he also heard secondhand that in off-the-record remarks, Kennedy thanked the Air Force for discovering the missiles. 
If Kennedy did believe the Air Force first spotted the missiles, thats not what most history books recount. Most history books on the crisis say that the CIA, not Duff or his beloved Air Force unit, discovered the missiles.
![Cuban_Missle_Crisis_3.jpg](data:image/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB4bWxucz0iaHR0cDovL3d3dy53My5vcmcvMjAwMC9zdmciIHZlcnNpb249IjEuMSIgaGVpZ2h0PSI2MDhweCIgd2lkdGg9Ijg0MHB4Ij48L3N2Zz4=)
Fidel Castro addresses his nation in 1962, warning Cuban citizens of the measures taken by the U.S. at the height of the missile crisis.
Keystone-France/Gamma-Keystone via Getty Images
 Phil Carradices book, “The Cuban Missile Crisis,” sums up the question of missile identification in one sentence: “The images were studied by experts at the CIAs National Photographic Interpretation Centre.” A book of declassified documents related to the crisis, “The Cuban Missile Crisis, 1962,” adds: “By the following afternoon photographic interpreters would notify top CIA officials that the mission had obtained definitive photographic evidence of Soviet medium-range ballistic missile bases.” 
It frustrates Duff to no end that his role never became common knowledge. Hes spent decades combing through scholarship and research to find the evidence he needs to prove his place in history, but so far, he hasnt found it. “(The CIA) claims credit for everything,” he says. “The Air Force was never given credit for this stuff, and neither was our unit.”
Even [the Air Forces own account](https://nsarchive2.gwu.edu/nsa/cuba_mis_cri/dobbs/SAC_history.pdf) of the situation, “Strategic Air Command Operations in the Cuban Crisis of 1962,” notes that once Heyser landed in Florida, the film from his flight was “immediately unloaded and personally flown to Washington.” Duff doesnt dispute that; he just insists that theres more to the story. He insists that Heysers film also made its way to Offutt later that day, and that he quickly identified the missile. He insists that Kennedy must have known about them shortly thereafter, given that the CIA didnt identify the weapons until some 14 hours later. 
> It frustrates Duff to no end that his role never became common knowledge.
In his own written recollections of the crisis, Duff said that the official timeline “doesnt jibe with my recollection of (Strategic Air Command) communications to D.C., on October 14 and 15.” Its possible that the U.S. intelligence apparatus waited to inform Kennedy until Duffs finding was confirmed; the spirit of rivalry between the CIA and Air Force intelligence was well known in those days. Regardless, “The CIA and other people deny that it ever happened,” he explains. 
“All I can tell you is that this sticks in your mind like anything in life that you remember. At 2 oclock in the morning on October 15, I saw this missile,” he says. “I was there.”
Since-declassified Air Force photos do [show](https://www.secretsdeclassified.af.mil/News/Photos/igphoto/2000593877/), without question, Strategic Air Command personnel examining reconnaissance photos during the Cuban missile crisis. And Duffs discovery was at least well known by word of mouth. Robert King, a retired Air Force lieutenant colonel who served as a photo interpreter at Offutt in 1971 and 72 and eventually moved to Salt Lake City, explains the potential discrepancy in the official narrative this way: “I cant tell you who was first or not, because one of the things we did — that was very wise — was to create a competition between the CIA and Strategic Air Command,” he says. “That competition drove guys to want to be the first.” And even if he never got official credit, the airmen who followed Duff at Offutt knew his name and knew what he did. “That was actually a major motivator for guys like me,” says King. “If you work hard, you could be a hero like Don Duff.’”
---
After retiring from the military, Duff enrolled at Utah State University and began a notable career in forestry and fisheries. Using his skills and Air Force connections, he managed to get U-2 pilots to conduct test flights over mountain ranges in Utahs desert country; they had to do test flights anyway, he figured, so why not make them synergistic? Using images from those flights, he found isolated streams that he then tested for the presence of certain strains of fish that were thought to be extinct; he found two — Bonneville and Lahontan cutthroat trout. Eventually, his efforts were [recognized](https://www.deseret.com/1988/8/7/18774306/epa-recognizes-4-for-protection-efforts) by the Environmental Protection Agency, and he [won](https://www.makemycontest.com/pcsite/pic/mine/DonaldDuffPDF.pdf) numerous awards, including from the American Fisheries Society and Trout Unlimited. The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service [touted](https://www.facebook.com/USFWSFisheries/photos/a.119116710534/10159205134435535/?type=3) his achievements on its Facebook page just last year. But despite the notoriety gained via his careers success, hes never forgotten his role in the Cuban missile crisis.
Richard Heyser, the pilot whose U-2 photos of Cuba sparked the crisis, feared he would be blamed for it. “I kind of felt like I was going to be looked at as the one who started the whole thing,” he [told](https://www.theledger.com/story/news/2005/10/10/pilot-i-was-afraid-id-be-blamed-for-world-war-iii/25906192007/) The Associated Press in 2005. “I wasnt anxious to have that reputation.” Perhaps its because his name has largely been lost to history, but Duff never felt that way. He was — and still is — happy to have played a role. He did exactly what he was supposed to do, and in so doing helped keep the United States secure. 
![Cuban_Missle_Crisis_4.jpg](data:image/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB4bWxucz0iaHR0cDovL3d3dy53My5vcmcvMjAwMC9zdmciIHZlcnNpb249IjEuMSIgaGVpZ2h0PSI3MDRweCIgd2lkdGg9Ijg0MHB4Ij48L3N2Zz4=)
Fidel Castro, left, with the USSRs General Secretary, Nikita Khrushchev.
Keystone-France/Gamma-Keystone via Getty Images
Sixty years since his discovery, hes seated in a small room at a library in Salt Lake City. He splits his time between a home nearby and a cabin in Nevada. He still thinks about the missile crisis often. Still wears the baseball cap he had custom-made, commemorating his service. Still talks about his involvement in the affair. He was once invited to a panel on Kennedy at the University of Utah, where he gave a presentation about the Cold War. He was disappointed by how little the students knew of what happened, even though he could hardly blame them given their dates of birth. But he wants them to know. Especially now, with tensions so high in Ukraine and Russia. 
“The younger generation … ought to realize what went on, and that it could happen again,” Duff says, pressing his brown hiking boot up against the foot of a Formica table. “We were this close to World War III.” He holds his trembling fingertips about an inch apart. Duff is not a man who startles easily, but now his blue eyes glance up at the fluorescent-lit ceiling, then back down to offer a warning: “It was scary,” he says. “It was scary.” 
Duff doesnt know how many more anniversaries hell be able to mark, but this year, hell be traveling to California in October for a 60-year reunion. Surrounded by U-2 pilots at the programs Beale Air Force Base headquarters, hes pretty sure hell be the only photo interpreter left. Hell spend the weekend attending keynote breakfasts, presentations, speeches from pilots. Among his own unique species, you can bet hell have plenty of stories to share. 
And you can bet, too, that hell be wearing his custom hat.  
*This story appears in the October issue of* [*Deseret Magazine*](https://www.deseret.com/magazine)*.* [*Learn more about how to subscribe*](https://pages.deseret.com/subscribe?utm_source=deseret&utm_medium=deseret_com&utm_campaign=learn_more_subscribe_footers).
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Date: 2022-11-22
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Link: https://apnews.com/article/soccer-sports-la-liga-money-laundering-puerto-rico-38aed2da8cd0ac237aca28aa39321105
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# DEAs most corrupt agent: Parties, sex amid 'unwinnable war'
SAN JUAN, Puerto Rico (AP) — José Irizarry accepts that hes known as the most corrupt agent in U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration history, admitting he “became another man” in conspiring with Colombian cartels to build a lavish lifestyle of expensive sports cars, Tiffany jewels and paramours around the world.
But as he used his final hours of freedom to tell his story to The Associated Press, Irizarry says he wont go down for this alone, accusing some long-trusted DEA colleagues of joining him in [skimming millions of dollars](https://apnews.com/article/colombia-miami-drug-cartels-us-news-ap-top-news-6c490312bef4c0600002c539d8c80cba) from drug money laundering stings to fund a decades worth of luxury overseas travel, fine dining, top seats at sporting events and frat house-style debauchery.
The way Irizarry tells it, dozens of other federal agents, prosecutors, informants and in some cases cartel smugglers themselves were all in on the three-continent joyride known as “Team America” that chose cities for money laundering pick-ups mostly for party purposes or to coincide with Real Madrid soccer or Rafael Nadal tennis matches. That included stops along the way in VIP rooms of Caribbean strip joints, Amsterdams red-light district and aboard a Colombian yacht that launched with plenty of booze and more than a dozen prostitutes.
“We had free access to do whatever we wanted,” the 48-year-old Irizarry told the AP in a series of interviews before beginning a 12-year [federal prison sentence](https://apnews.com/article/crime-colombia-us-drug-enforcement-administration-bfff536c11d7324af934c5ee003555b9). “We would generate money pick-ups in places we wanted to go. And once we got there it was about drinking and girls.”
José Irizarry accepts that hes the most corrupt agent in U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration history. But he says he wasnt alone in conspiring with Colombian cartel members to use the war on drugs to fund a lavish, decadent lifestyle.
All this revelry was rooted, Irizarry said, in a crushing realization among DEA agents around the world that theres nothing they can do to make a dent in the drug war anyway. Only nominal concern was given to actually building cases or stemming a record flow of illegal cocaine and opioids into the United States that has driven more than 100,000 drug overdose deaths a year.
“You cant win an unwinnable war. DEA knows this and the agents know this,” Irizarry said. “Theres so much dope leaving Colombia. And theres so much money. We know were not making a difference.”
“The drug war is a game. ... It was a very fun game that we were playing.”
Irizarrys story, which some former colleagues have attacked as a fictionalized attempt to reduce his sentence, came in days of contrite, bitter, sometimes tearful interviews with the AP in the historic quarter of his native San Juan. It was much the same account he gave the FBI in lengthy debriefings and sealed court papers obtained by the AP after he pleaded guilty in 2020 to 19 corruption counts, including money laundering and bank fraud.
But after years of portraying Irizarry as a [rogue agent](https://www.justice.gov/opa/pr/former-dea-special-agent-sentenced-prison-money-laundering-and-fraud-scheme) who acted alone, U.S. Justice Department investigators have in recent months begun closely following his confessional roadmap, questioning as many as two-dozen current and former DEA agents and prosecutors accused by Irizarry of turning a blind eye to his flagrant abuses and sometimes joining in.
With little fanfare, the inquiry has focused on a jet-setting former partner of Irizarry and several other trusted DEA colleagues assigned to international money laundering. And at least three current and former federal prosecutors have faced questioning about Irizarrys raucous parties, including one still in a senior role in Miami, another who appeared on TVs “The Bachelorette” and a former Ohio prosecutor who was confirmed to serve as the U.S. attorney in Cleveland this year [before abruptly backing out](https://www.cleveland.com/metro/2022/05/marisa-darden-withdraws-from-us-attorney-position-after-senate-confirmation-before-taking-office.html) for unspecified family reasons.
The expanding investigation comes as the nations premier narcotics law enforcement agency has been rattled by repeated misconduct scandals in its 4,600-agent ranks, from one who [took bribes from traffickers](https://apnews.com/article/arkansas-little-rock-be77260621f384e2c979cfd2e41d3810) to another accused of [leaking confidential information](https://apnews.com/article/us-drug-enforcement-administration-florida-miami-conspiracy-082ea2a3edbc347ffa35510cfa636755) to law enforcement targets. But by far the biggest black eye is Irizarry, whose wholesale betrayal of the badge is at the heart of an ongoing external review of the DEAs sprawling foreign operations in 69 countries.
The once-standout agent has accused some former colleagues in the DEAs Miami-based Group 4 of lining their pockets and falsifying records to replenish a slush fund used for foreign jaunts over the better part of a decade, until his resignation in 2018. He accused a U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agent of accepting a $20,000 bribe. And recently, the FBI, Office of Inspector General and a federal prosecutor interviewed Irizarry in prison about other federal employees and allegations he raised about misconduct in maritime interdictions.
“It was too outlandish for them to believe this is actually happening,” Irizarry said of investigators. “The indictment paints a picture of me, the corrupt agent that did this entire scheme. But it doesnt talk about the rest of DEA. I wasnt the mastermind.”
The federal judge in Tampa who sentenced Irizarry last year seemed to agree, saying other agents corrupted by the “allure of easy money” need to be investigated. “This has to stop,” Judge Charlene Honeywell told prosecutors, adding Irizarry was “the one who got caught but it is apparent to this court that there are others.”
The Justice Department declined to comment. A DEA spokesperson said: “José Irizarry is a criminal who violated his oath as a federal law enforcement officer and violated the trust of the American people. Over the past 16 months, DEA has worked vigorously to further strengthen our discipline and hiring policies to ensure the integrity and effectiveness of our essential work.”
AP was able to corroborate some, but not all, of Irizarrys accusations through thousands of confidential law enforcement records and dozens of interviews with those familiar with his claims and the ongoing investigation, including several who spoke on the condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to discuss them.
The probe is focused in part on George Zoumberos, one of Irizarrys former partners who traveled overseas extensively for money laundering investigations. Irizarry told AP that Zoumberos enjoyed unfettered access to so-called commission funds and improperly tapped that money for personal purchases and unwarranted trips, using names of people that didnt exist in DEA reports justifying the excesses.
Zoumberos remained a DEA agent even after he was arrested and briefly detained on allegations of sexual assault during a trip to Madrid in 2018. He resigned only after being stripped of his gun, badge and security clearance for invoking his Fifth Amendment rights to stay silent in late 2019, when the same prosecutor who charged Irizarry summoned him to testify before a federal grand jury in Tampa.
Authorities are so focused on Zoumberos that they also subpoenaed his brother, a Florida wedding photographer who traveled and partied around the world with DEA agents, and even granted him immunity to induce his cooperation. But Michael Zoumberos also refused to testify and has been jailed outside Tampa since March for “civil contempt” — an exceedingly rare pressure tactic that underscores the rising temperature of the investigation.
“I didnt do anything wrong, but Im not going to talk about my brother,” Michael Zoumberos told AP in a jailhouse interview. “Im basically being held as a political prisoner of the FBI. They want to coerce me into cooperating.”
Some current and former DEA agents say Irizarrys claims are overblown or flat-out fabrications. The former ICE agent scoffed at Irizarrys accusation he took a $20,000 bribe, saying he raised early red flags about Irizarry. And the lawyer for the Zoumberos brothers says prosecutors are on a “fishing expedition” to bring more indictments because of the embarrassment of the Irizarry scandal.
“Everybody they connect to José is extraneous to his thefts,” said attorney Raymond Mansolillo. “Theyre looking to find a crime to fit this case as opposed to a crime that actually took place. But no matter what happens theyre going to charge somebody with something because they dont want to come out of all of this after five years and have only charged José.”
Making Irizarrys allegations more egregious is that they came on the heels of a 2015 Inspector Generals report that slammed DEA agents for participating in [“sex parties”](https://apnews.com/article/666352da54e04840a37b5da740e1d79b) with prostitutes hired by Colombian cartels. That prompted the suspension of several agents and the retirement of Michele Leonhart, the DEAs administrator at the time.
Central to the Irizarry investigation are overly cozy relationships developed between agents and informants — strictly forbidden under federal guidelines — and loose controls on the DEAs undercover drug money laundering operations that few Americans know exist.
Every year, the DEA launders tens of millions of dollars on behalf of the worlds most-violent drug cartels through shell companies, a tactic touted in long-running overseas investigations such as Operation White Wash that resulted in more than 100 arrests and the seizure of more than $100 million and a ton of cocaine.
But the DEA has also faced criticism for allowing huge amounts of money in the operations to go unseized, enabling cartels to continue plying their trade, and for failing to tightly monitor and track the stings, making it difficult to evaluate results.
A [2020 Justice Department Inspector Generals report](https://apnews.com/article/colombia-miami-drug-cartels-us-news-ap-top-news-5b50fd9cb51e5737f78451686d224d8d) faulted the DEA for failing since at least 2006 to file annual reports to Congress about these stings, known as Attorney General Exempted Operations. That rebuke, coupled with the embarrassment brought on by Irizarrys confession, prompted DEA Administrator Anne Milgram to order an outside review of the agencys foreign operations, which is ongoing.
“In the vast majority of these operations, nobody is watching,” said Bonnie Klapper, a former federal prosecutor in New York and outspoken critic of DEA money laundering. “In the Irizarry operation, nobody cared how much money they were laundering. Nobody cared that they werent making any cases. Nobody was minding the house. There were no controls.”
Rob Feitel, another former federal prosecutor, said the DEAs lax oversight made it easy to divert funds for all kinds of unapproved purposes. And as long as money seizures kept driving stats higher — a low bar given abundant supply — few questions were asked.
“The other agents arent stupid. They knew there were no controls and a lot of them could have done what Irizarry did,” said Feitel, who represents a former DEA agent under scrutiny in the inquiry. “The line that separates Irizarry from the others is he did it with both hands and he did it over and over and over. He didnt just test the waters, he took a full bath in it.”
Irizarry, who speaks in a smooth patter that seamlessly switches between English and Spanish, was a federal air marshal and Border Patrol agent before joining the DEA in 2009. He said he learned the tricks of the trade as a DEA rookie from veteran cops who came up in New York City in the 1990s when cocaine flooded American streets.
But another key part of his education came from Diego Marín, a longtime U.S. informant known to investigators as Colombias “Contraband King” for allegedly laundering dope money through imported appliances and other goods. Irizarry said Marín taught him better than any agent ever could the nuances of the black-market peso exchange used by narcotraffickers across the world.
Irizarry parlayed that knowledge into a life of luxury that prosecutors say was bankrolled by $9 million he and his Colombian co-conspirators diverted from money laundering investigations.
To further the scheme, Irizarry filed false reports and ordered DEA staff to wire money slated for undercover stings to international accounts he and associates controlled. Hardened informants who kept a hefty commission from every cash transfer sanctioned by the DEA also stepped in to fund some of the revelry in what amounted to illegal kickbacks.
Irizarrys spending habits quickly began to mimic the ostentatious tastes of the narcos he was tasked with targeting, with spoils including a $30,000 Tiffany diamond ring for his wife, luxury sports cars and a $767,000 home in the Colombian resort city of Cartagena. Hed travel first class to Europe with Louis Vuitton luggage and wearing a gold Hublot watch.
“I was very good at what I did but I became somebody I wasnt. ... I became a different man,” Irizarry said. “I got caught up in the lifestyle. I got caught up with the informants and partying.”
Irizarry contends as many as 90% of his groups work trips were “bogus,” dictated by partying and sporting events, not real work. And he says the U.S. government money that helped pay for it was justified in reports as “case-related — but thats a very vague term.”
Case in point: an August 2014 trip to Madrid for the Spanish Supercup soccer finals that was charged as an expense to Operation White Wash.
But Irizarry told investigators there was little actual work to be done other than courtesy calls to a few friendly Spanish cops. Instead, he said, agents spent their time dining at pricey restaurants — racking up a 1,000-euro bill at one — and enjoying field-side seats for the championship match between Real and Atletico Madrid.
Joining the posse of agents at the game was Michael J. Garofola, a then-Miami federal prosecutor and erstwhile contestant on “The Bachelorette” who posted a thumbs-up photo on Instagram standing next to Irizarry and another agent — all clad in white Real Madrid jerseys.
“Soaking up the last bit of Spanish culture before saying adios,” he posted a few days later outside a pub.
Irizarry alleged that Garofola also joined agents, cartel informants and others in the Dominican capital of Santo Domingo in 2014 for a night at a strip club called Doll House. In a memo to the court seeking a reduction in his sentence, Irizarry recalled being in the VIP room with another agent and Garofola, racking up a $2,300 bill paid for by a violent emissary of Marín with a menacing nickname to match: Iguana.
Garofola said the trips included official business and he was told everything was being paid for out of DEA funds.
“There were things about those trips that made me question why I was there,” Garofola told AP. “But Irizarry totally used me to ratify this behavior. I was brand new and green and eager to work money laundering cases. He used me just by my being there.”
When Irizarry was awarded with a transfer to Cartagena in 2015, the party followed. The agents rooftop pool, with sweeping ocean views, became an obligatory stop for visiting agents and prosecutors from the U.S.
One that Irizarry recalls seeing there was Marisa Darden, a prosecutor from Cleveland who he says traveled to Colombia in September 2017 and was at a gathering where he witnessed two DEA agents taking ecstasy. Irizarry says he didnt see Darden taking drugs.
Federal authorities have taken a keen interest in that party, quizzing Irizarry about it as recently as this summer. At least one DEA agent who attended has been placed on administrative leave.
Darden went on to become a partner in a high-powered Cleveland law firm and last year was nominated by President Joe Biden to be the first Black woman U.S. attorney in northern Ohio. But soon after she was confirmed, Darden abruptly withdrew in May, citing only “the importance of prioritizing family.”
Darden refused to answer questions from AP but her attorney said in a statement that she “cooperated fully” with the federal investigation into “alleged illegal activity by federal agents,” an inquiry separate from the FBI background check she faced in the confirmation process.
“There is no evidence that she participated in any illegal activity,” Dardens attorney, James Wooley, wrote in an email to AP.
A White House official said the allegations did not come up in the vetting process. And U.S. Sen. Sherrod Brown, an Ohio Democrat who put Dardens name up for the post, was also unaware of the allegations in the nomination process, his office said, and had he known “would have withdrawn his support.”
Another federal prosecutor named by Irizarry and questioned by federal agents was Monique Botero, who was recently promoted to head the narcotics division at the U.S. attorneys office in Miami. Irizarry told investigators and the AP that Botero joined a group of agents, informants, Colombian police and prostitutes for a party on a luxury yacht.
Boteros lawyers acknowledge she was on the yacht in September 2015 for what she thought was a cruise organized by local police, but they say “categorically and unequivocally, Monique never saw or participated in anything illegal or unethical.”
“Irizarry has admitted that he lied to everyone around him for various nefarious reasons. These lies about Monique are part of a similar pattern,” said her attorney, Benjamin Greenberg. “It is appalling that Monique is being maligned and defamed by someone as disgraced as Irizarry.”
Irizarrys downfall was as sudden as it was inevitable — the outgrowth of a lavish lifestyle that raised too many eyebrows, even among colleagues willing to bend the rules themselves. Eventually, he was betrayed by one of his closest confidants, a Venezuelan-American informant who confessed to diverting funds from the undercover stings.
“Josés problem is that he took things to the point of stupidity and trashed the party for everyone else,” said one defense attorney who traveled with Irizarry and other agents. “But theres no doubt he didnt act alone.”
Since his arrest, Irizarry has written a self-published book titled “Getting Back on Track,” part of his attempt to own up to his mistakes and pursue a simpler path after bringing so much shame upon himself and his family.
Recently, his Colombian-born wife — who was spared jail time on a money laundering charge in exchange for Irizarrys confession — told him she was seeking a divorce.
Adding to Irizarrys despair is that he is still the only one to pay such a heavy price for a pattern of misconduct that he says the DEA allowed to fester. To date, prosecutors have yet to charge any other agents, and several former colleagues have quietly retired rather than endure the disgrace of possibly being fired.
“Ive told them everything I know,” Irizarry said. “All they have to do is dig.”
\_\_\_
Aritz Parra in Madrid and Chris Megerian in Washington contributed to this report.
\_\_\_
Contact APs global investigative team at Investigative@ap.org. Follow the reporters on Twitter: @JimMustian and @APJoshGoodman.
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# Derinkuyu: Mysterious underground city in Turkey found in mans basement
![](https://bigthink.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/GettyImages-179421367.jpg?is-pending-load=1)
A hot air balloon emblazoned with the Turkish flag sailing past some fairy chimneys, a rock formation typical for Cappadocia in central Turkey and one of its main tourist attractions. Another are its ancient underground cities, of which Derinkuyu is the largest. ([Credit](https://www.gettyimages.dk/detail/news-photo/turkis-flagged-hot-air-balloon-the-earth-pillars-on-august-news-photo/179421367?adppopup=true): Murat Asil / Anadolu Agency / Getty Images)
We live cheek by jowl with undiscovered worlds. Sometimes the barriers that separate us are thick, sometimes theyre thin, and sometimes theyre breached. Thats when a wardrobe turns into a portal to Narnia, a rabbit hole leads to Wonderland, and a [Raquel Welch poster](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABpeLNCuE3w) is all that separates a prison cell from the tunnel to freedom.
## A fateful swing of the hammer
Those are all fictional examples. But in 1963, that barrier was breached for real. Taking a sledgehammer to a wall in his basement, a man in the Turkish town of Derinkuyu got more home improvement than he bargained for. Behind the wall, he found a tunnel. And that led to more tunnels, eventually connecting a multitude of halls and chambers. It was a huge underground complex, abandoned by its inhabitants and undiscovered until that fateful swing of the hammer.
The anonymous Turk — no report mentions his name — had found a vast subterranean city, up to 18 stories and 280 feet (76 m) deep and large enough to house 20,000 people. Who built it, and why? When was it abandoned, and by whom? History and geology provide some answers.
## Fantastically craggy Cappadocia
Geology first. Derinkuyu is located in Cappadocia, a region in the Turkish heartland famed for the fantastic cragginess of its landscape, which is dotted with so-called fairy chimneys. Those tall stone towers are the result of the erosion of a rock type known as *tuff*. Created out of volcanic ash and covering much of the region, that stone, despite its name, is not so tough.
![derinkuyu](https://bigthink.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/interior-view.jpeg?is-pending-load=1)
Well-lit interior view of the otherwise dark and gloomy underground city of Derinkuyu. ([Credit](https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Derinkuyu_Underground_City_9908_Nevit_Enhancer.jpg): Nevit Dilmen / Wikimedia Commons, [CC BY-SA 3.0](https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en))
Taking a cue from the wind and rain, the locals for millennia have dug their own holes in the soft stone for underground dwellings, storage rooms, temples, and refuges. Cappadocia numbers hundreds of subterranean dwellings, with about 40 consisting of at least two levels. None is as large, or by now as famous, as Derinkuyu.
## Hittites, Phrygians, or early Christians?
The historical record has little definitive to say about Derinkuyus origins. Some archaeologists speculate that the oldest part of the complex could have been dug about 2000 BC by the Hittites, the people who dominated the region at that time, or else the Phrygians, around 700 BC. Others claim that local Christians built the city in the first centuries AD.
![Smarter faster: the Big Think newsletter](https://bigthink.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/smarter_faster.svg?w=128&h=96&crop=1)
Subscribe for counterintuitive, surprising, and impactful stories delivered to your inbox every Thursday
Whoever they were, they had great skill: the soft rock makes tunneling relatively easy, but cave-ins are a big risk. Hence, there is a need for large support pillars. None of the floors at Derinkuyu have ever collapsed.
Two things about the underground complex are more certain. First, the main purpose of the monumental effort must have been to hide from enemy armies — hence, for example, the rolling stones used to close the city from the inside. Second, the final additions and alterations to the complex, which bear a distinctly Christian imprint, date from the 6th to the 10th century AD.
## Hitting bottom in the dungeon
When shut off from the world above, the city was ventilated by a total of more than 15,000 shafts, most about 10 cm wide and reaching down into the first and second levels of the city. This ensured sufficient ventilation down to the eighth level.
The upper levels were used as living and sleeping quarters — which makes sense, as they were the best ventilated ones. The lower levels were mainly used for storage, but they also contained a dungeon.
In between were spaces used for all kinds of purposes: there was room for a wine press, domestic animals, a convent, and small churches. The most famous one is the cruciform church on the seventh level.
## If buckets could speak
Some shafts went much deeper and doubled as wells. Even as the underground city lay undiscovered, the local Turkish population of Derinkuyu used these to get their water, not knowing the hidden world their buckets passed through. Incidentally, *derin kuyu* is Turkish for “deep well.”
![derinkuyu](https://bigthink.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/Derinkuyu-Underground-City.jpeg?is-pending-load=1)
The subterranean city could house up to 20,000 people, plenty of domestic animals, and enough supplies to wait out an invading army. ([Credit](https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Reconstruction-Derinkuyu-underground.jpg): Yasir999, [CC BY-SA 4.0](https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/deed.en))
Another theory says the underground city served as a temperate refuge for the regions extreme seasons. Cappadocian winters can get very cold, the summers extremely hot. Below ground, the ambient temperature is constant and moderate. As a bonus, it is easier to store and keep harvest yields away from moisture and thieves.
Whatever the relevance of its other functions, the underground city was much in use as a refuge for the local population during the wars between the Byzantines and the Arabs, which lasted from the late 8th to the late 12th centuries; during the Mongol raids in the 14th century; and after the region was conquered by the Ottoman Turks.
## Leaving the “soft” place
A visiting Cambridge linguist visiting the area in the early 20th century attests that the local Greek population still reflexively sought shelter in the underground city when news of massacres elsewhere reached them.
Following the Greco-Turkish War (1919-22), the two countries agreed to exchange minorities in 1923, in order to ethnically homogenize their populations. The Cappadocian Greeks of Derinkuyu left too, and took with them both the knowledge of the underground city and the Greek name of the place: *Mαλακοπια (Malakopia)*, which means “soft” — possibly a reference to the pliancy of the local stone.
Derinkuyu is now one of Cappadocias biggest tourist attractions, so it no longer counts as an undiscovered world. But perhaps theres one on the other side of your basement wall. Now, where did you put that sledgehammer?
**Strange Maps #1139**
*For more underground fun, see also Strange Maps #[119](https://bigthink.com/strange-maps/119-all-elephant-and-no-castle-a-secret-bestiary-of-the-london-tube-map/), #[443](https://bigthink.com/strange-maps/443-secret-caves-of-the-lizard-people/) and #[1083](https://bigthink.com/strange-maps/paris-catacombs/).*
*Follow Strange Maps on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/VeryStrangeMaps) and [Facebook](https://facebook.com/VeryStrangeMaps).*
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# Deshaun Watsons Massages Were Enabled by the Texans and a Spa Owner
## How the Texans and a Spa Enabled Deshaun Watsons Troubling Behavior
Watson met at least 66 women for massages over a 17-month period, far more than previously known. He had help from the Houston Texans, including nondisclosure agreements, in making appointments.
![](https://static01.nyt.com/images/2022/06/07/sports/07watson-timeline/07watson-timeline-articleLarge.jpg?quality=75&auto=webp&disable=upscale)
Credit...Mel Haasch
June 7, 2022
The accusations have been frequent and startling: more than two dozen women have said the football star Deshaun Watson harassed or assaulted them during massage appointments that [Watson and his lawyers insist were innocuous](https://www.nytimes.com/2022/03/25/sports/football/deshaun-watson-browns-lawsuits.html).
[Two grand juries in Texas](https://www.nytimes.com/2022/03/24/sports/football/deshaun-watson-texas-grand-jury.html) this year declined to charge him criminally and, while the N.F.L. considers whether to discipline him, he has gotten another job, signing a [five-year, $230 million fully guaranteed contract](https://www.nytimes.com/2022/03/18/sports/football/deshaun-watson-traded-browns.html) to play quarterback for the Cleveland Browns this coming season.
It is time, Watson and his representatives say, for everyone to move on.
Yet a New York Times examination of records, including depositions and evidence for the civil lawsuits as well as interviews of some of the women, showed that Watson engaged in more questionable behavior than previously known.
The Timess review also showed that Watsons conduct was enabled, knowingly or not, by the team he played for at the time, the Houston Texans, which provided the venue Watson used for some of the appointments. A team representative also furnished him with a nondisclosure agreement after a woman who is now suing him threatened online to expose his behavior.
Rusty Hardin, Watsons lawyer, said his client “continues to vehemently deny” the allegations in the lawsuits. He declined to respond in detail to The Timess questions, but said in a statement, “We can say when the real facts are known this issue will appear in a different light.”
The Texans did not respond to specific questions about Watsons use of team resources. They said in a statement that they first learned of the allegations against him in March 2021, have cooperated with investigators and “will continue to do so.”
A spokesman for the Browns said the team had no immediate comment. An N.F.L. spokesman declined to comment, saying the Watson matter is under review.
Image
Credit...Ryan Kang, via Associated Press
Watson has said publicly that he hired about 40 different therapists across his five seasons in Houston, but The Timess reporting found that he booked appointments with at least 66 different women in just the 17 months from fall 2019 through spring 2021. A few of these additional women, speaking publicly for the first time, described experiences that undercut Watsons insistence that he was only seeking professional massage therapy.
One woman, who did not sue Watson or complain to the police, told The Times that he was persistent in his requests for sexual acts during their massage, including “begging” her to put her mouth on his penis.
“I specifically had to say, No, I cant do that,’” said the woman, who spoke on condition of anonymity to protect her familys privacy. “And thats when I went into asking him, What is it like being famous? Like, whats going on? Youre about to mess up everything.’”
## An Appointment with an Acquaintance
Before Watson was drafted by the Texans 12th overall in 2017, he was a championship-winning quarterback at Gainesville (Ga.) High School and [Clemson University](https://www.nytimes.com/2017/01/09/sports/alabama-clemson-cfp-national-championship.html).
N.F.L. teams widely viewed him as a prospective franchise quarterback with no known character issues, and he seemed to be living up to his billing. When Hurricane Harvey walloped Houston in August 2017, before Watsons rookie season, he donated his first game check to stadium cafeteria employees who were affected by the storm.
Since the first wave of suits [were filed against Watson last year](https://www.nytimes.com/2021/03/17/sports/football/deshaun-watson-sexual-assault-lawsuit-allegations.html), the main allegations against him [have become familiar](https://www.nytimes.com/article/deshaun-watson-sexual-assault-lawsuit.html). Women complained that Watson turned massages sexual without their consent, including purposely touching them with his penis and coercing sexual acts.
Its not clear when he began looking for so many different women to give him massages. Hardin has said his client needed to book appointments “ad hoc” when the coronavirus pandemic began, though Watson began working with numerous women before then.
Image
Credit...Yi-Chin Lee/Houston Chronicle, via Associated Press
Not all of the women who gave Watson massages between October 2019 and March 2021 have detailed their interactions with him. Some who have shared their experiences say they had no problems with him. Others describe troubling — and similar — behaviors.
The 66 women are:
- The 24 who have sued him, including two who filed suits within the last week. In the most recent suit, the woman said Watson masturbated during the massage.
- A woman who sued but then withdrew the complaint because of “privacy and security concerns.”
- Two women who filed criminal complaints against Watson but did not sue him.
- At least 15 therapists who issued statements of support for Watson at the request of his lawyers and gave him massages during that period.
- At least four therapists from Genuine Touch, the massage therapy group contracted with the Texans.
- Five women identified by the plaintiffs lawyers during the investigation for their civil suits.
- At least 15 other women whose appointments with Watson were confirmed through interviews and records reviewed by The Times.
A deeper look at the civil suits, including a review of private messages entered as evidence, shows the lengthy efforts by Watson to book massages and the methods he used to assure women that he could be trusted.
One woman who sued Watson was a flight attendant who began taking massage therapy classes during the pandemic. She and Watson were in the same social circle, but Watson acknowledged in a deposition that they had never really spoken except to say hello.
### Excerpts From a Deposition
Tony Buzbee, the lawyer for 24 women who have sued Deshaun Watson, questioned Watson about his interactions with a flight attendant who had begun taking massage therapy classes.
> Q. Can you explain why you -- you reached out to her on Instagram rather than just using a therapist you had used before?
>
> A. Because I needed a massage therapy.
>
> Q. Okay. You could have just used somebody you used before, right?
>
> A. Yeah. I could have.
>
> Q. You could -- yeah. You didn't -- but you didn't, did you?
>
> A. I did not.
>
> Q. You could have used the Texans, right?
>
> A. Definitely possible.
>
> Q. But you didn't, did you?
>
> A. I did not.
In November 2020, after a friendly exchange on Instagram, Watson saw that the woman was a massage therapist and sent a message asking for an appointment. As they struggled to work out a time, Watson told her, “Just tryna support black businesses,” a message he repeated later.
Watson regularly presented himself as an ally to businesswomen. In the suit filed this week, the therapist alleged that he told her that he “really wanted to support” Black businesses, and on another occasion, he left a woman perplexed when he purchased 30 bottles of her $40 skin cleanser.
In messages to the woman, whom he knew from his social circle, Watson asked to meet at The Houstonian, an upscale hotel and club where the Texans had secured a membership for him. She said she wasnt comfortable going to a hotel because she knew Watsons girlfriend — and indeed had once babysat her and her younger brother. The woman told Watson she wanted to keep things “professional and respectful.”
“Oh most definitely always professional,” he texted. “I even have a NDA I have therapist sign too.” He was referring to the N.D.A. he had received just days earlier from a member of the Texans security staff. Watson didnt explain in the text how the woman would benefit from signing a document meant to protect him.
Finally, the woman suggested they meet at her mothers home in Manvel, a 30-minute drive for Watson. He responded, “Damn thats far,” but agreed to make the trip.
> Q. Did you even ask her what her experience level was?
>
> A. No, sir. That wasn't a priority.
>
> Q. Right. You didn't care, did you?
>
> A. That wasn't a priority. I just wanted a massage.
>
> Q. You didn't care what her skill level was, correct?
>
> A. That wasn't a priority.
>
> Q. You didn't care whether she was properly trained?
>
> A. That wasn't my priority, sir.
Watson was questioned about whether he had checked the womans qualifications as a massage therapist.
In the civil suit the woman filed against Watson last year, she said she was uneasy with his directions to “get up in there” during the massage, but chalked it up to her inexperience and agreed to work with him again. When he ejaculated during the second appointment and then asked her for another massage later that day at the Houstonian, she first agreed, then told him she could not make it. She eventually blocked his number.
## Initiating Sex
Most of the women Watson saw for massages did not sue or call the police. But even some who did not complain said Watson came looking for sex.
The woman who sold bottles of cleanser to Watson had a few appointments with him during the summer of 2020. This aesthetician, who spoke on condition of anonymity to protect her privacy, told Watson when he booked an appointment that she was licensed only to give him a back facial. But she said in an interview with The Times that he got fully undressed and directed her toward his groin. While she said there was no sexual contact, she believed that he was seeking more than a professional massage.
Watson and his lawyers have said he was only seeking massages. The lawyers have acknowledged that Watson had sexual contact with three of the women who have sued him. But the sexual acts took place after the massages, they said, and were initiated by the women. Asked whether he was asserting that Watson never had sexual contact with any other massage therapists, Hardin didnt respond.
Another woman who spoke to The Times, a physical therapist who did not sue Watson, said he initiated sexual contact in all three of their appointments.
This woman, who spoke on condition of anonymity to protect her privacy, said in an interview she began by working on Watsons back. But when he flipped over, she said his demeanor and voice changed, and he began aggressively dictating where he wanted her to touch him. In their first session, she said he got into the happy baby yoga pose — on his back with his feet in his hands — and asked her to massage between his testicles and anus. She laughed off the request but said he grabbed her wrist and put her hand there.
The woman said Watson twice initiated sexual intercourse, once by pulling down the scrubs she was wearing. She and Watson knew each other from around town and were on friendly terms, and she admitted she let him proceed with these sexual acts. “I just didnt know how to tell him no,” she said.
Hardin said in a statement: “It would be irresponsible and premature for us to comment on vague details put forth by anonymous individuals.”
## A $5,000 Payment
In June 2020, Watson began frequenting a spa in a strip mall off Interstate 45, at least a 30-minute drive from his home or work. He had found A New U Spa on Instagram and sent a message. The owner, Dionne Louis, became a resource for Watson, able to connect him with multiple women for massages.
She looked out for him, she said in a deposition, sometimes arranging for a security guard when Watson came in, concerned the expensive cars he drove might make him a target for a robbery. She also got things from him. In November 2020, Watson paid her $5,000 through an app, she said, to buy spa equipment. Louis told one of her employees in a text, “I told you Ill show you how to get money from men thats my specialty.”
Image
Credit...Callaghan OHare for The New York Times
Louis and her lawyer did not respond to requests for comment.
During the months Louis and Watson worked together, she set up appointments for him with several women who worked there, none of whom was licensed in Texas to perform massages.
One was the woman who said Watson begged her for oral sex.
She described how he tried to build up to sexual acts, starting with his request that she work on his behind and go higher up on his inner thighs, which put her hands uncomfortably close to his testicles. When he flipped over, she said, he was exposed with an erection, but she refused his requests for oral sex.
That woman did not sue Watson, but four other employees of A New U Spa did. They all said in their lawsuits that Louis gave him special attention.
In June 2020, one woman said in her suit, Louis drove her to a hotel to meet Watson for a massage, during which he groped her and touched her hand with his penis. Louis was not in the room, but in text messages she later sent to this woman, she appeared to refer to Watson treating her employees poorly: “I been talking to Deshaun I just told his ass off he got it now.” Louis added in a second message, “I told him he cant treat us black women any kind of way.” (In her deposition, Louis denied sending these messages, though evidence in the civil suits indicates they were sent from her number.)
Nia Smith, who also worked at A New U Spa, filed a lawsuit against Watson last week, the 23rd of 24 civil cases. Smith said that during their first massage, Watson asked her to put her fingers inside his anus, a request she said she told Louis about afterward. She said in the second session he asked her if she wanted his penis in her mouth, and that he repeatedly requested sex in their third and final massage. Smith also claimed that Louis knew Watson was seeking sex and told her she needed to keep Watson happy. In a deposition, Louis denied she knew anything about Watsons sexual desires.
In early November 2020, after Smith stopped working at A New U Spa, she posted text messages from Watson along with his phone number and his Cash App receipts on Instagram. She included the message, “I could really expose you,” adding an expletive.
## Help From the Texans
Days later, when Watson went to work at the Texans stadium, he found an N.D.A. in his locker. He later said in a deposition that Brent Naccara, a former Secret Service agent who is the Texans director of security, put it there after Watson told him about Smiths Instagram posts.
> Q. Okay. This NDA, you had already gotten from -- you had already gotten this NDA by this point obviously from Brent?
>
> A. Yes.
>
> Q. Brent Naccara?
>
> A. Yes, sir.
>
> Q. Head of security for the Texans?
>
> A. Yes, sir.
>
> Q. He's the guy that gave it to you?
>
> A. He put it in my locker, yes, sir.
Watson was asked in the deposition about the nondisclosure agreement he received from Brent Naccara.
Watson began taking the N.D.A. to massages that same week, giving one to the woman in Manvel, who signed it, and another to a woman who said in her lawsuit that she ended the session after he suggested a sexual act. Watson told her she had to sign in order for him to pay, so she did, according to her filing. Watson said in a deposition that he used this N.D.A. only for massage appointments because he had lawyers and agents who handled his other business.
Its unclear whether the Texans knew how many massages Watson was getting or who was providing them. But their resources helped support his massage habit away from the team. Watson acknowledged in a deposition that the Texans arranged for him to have “a place” at The Houstonian. He used the fitness club, dined there and also set up massages in hotel rooms.
At least seven women met him at the hotel for appointments, according to interviews and records, including two who filed civil lawsuits and two who complained to police.
The Texans werent aware of the massage appointments at the hotel “that I know of,” Watson said. He also said that his access to the property was not under his name. One woman who gave Watson a massage at The Houstonian said she was told the room was registered to a member of the Texans training staff.
## A Well-Connected Lawyer
To preserve his reputation, his career and possibly his freedom, Watson hired Hardin, now 80, a veteran defense lawyer whose clients have included the former pitcher [Roger Clemens](https://www.nytimes.com/2007/12/28/sports/baseball/28lawyer.html), the evangelist [Joel Osteen](https://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/15/us/15houston.html) and, in the Enron case, the accounting firm [Arthur Andersen](https://www.nytimes.com/2002/05/17/business/trial-judge-and-lawyer-for-andersen-tangle-in-houston-courtroom-shouting-match.html).
Hardin has said the women who have accused Watson of sexual misconduct are lying. He had ample opportunity to make his case to the district attorneys office. Through a public records request, The Times reviewed the communications between Hardin and the prosecutors in Watsons criminal cases. These messages revealed extensive communication between the two sides and demonstrated, at the least, the value of a well-paid and well-connected lawyer.
Image
Credit...Callaghan OHare for The New York Times
In early 2022, Hardin, a former prosecutor himself, began a regular dialogue with Johna Stallings, the Harris County sex crimes prosecutor handling the Watson investigation. In the two months before two different Texas grand juries heard the criminal cases against Watson, Stallings and Hardin met at Hardins office, spoke over the phone 12 times and exchanged more than two dozen text messages, according to public records.
Some of their exchanges were peppered with congenial remarks about cases they were trying. Others were more opaque. One day, Stallings asked Hardin if he could chat. He said he was in trial, then asked, “Any problems?” They spoke over the phone twice that day.
The amount of contact between the prosecutor and the defense was noteworthy, said Njeri Mathis Rutledge, a former Harris County prosecutor who is now a professor at South Texas College of Law Houston.
“There are some well-known defense attorneys like a Rusty Hardin that may have gotten a little extra real estate in terms of time, but even given the fact that it was Rusty, thats still a lot of time,” Rutledge said.
The Times also reviewed communications between prosecutors and the lawyers for the women suing Watson. There was just one exchange: In March 2021, [Tony Buzbee](https://www.nytimes.com/2021/03/19/sports/football/deshaun-watson-tony-buzbee-sexual-assault.html), the plaintiffs attorney, alerted the district attorneys office to the allegations in the civil suits. The district attorney asked if his clients had made reports to the police, and eight of Buzbees clients soon did. The prosecutors had some direct contact with these women, rather than going through Buzbee.
In a statement, Hardin said it is “a standard practice” for lawyers to work directly with law enforcement and prosecutors.
The Harris County district attorneys office did not respond to specific questions about their prosecutors contacts with Hardin and lawyers for the women. In a statement, a spokesman for Kim Ogg, the district attorney, said prosecutors “vigorously examined all the evidence and spoke at great length with accusers.”
In March 2021, Stallings prepared to present her cases against Watson to the Harris County grand jury. She and Hardin exchanged more than a dozen calls and messages during the week of the hearing. Instead of putting his client in front of the grand jury, Hardin created a slide presentation arguing for Watsons innocence and gave it to Stallings along with other documents he deemed important.
Image
Credit...Callaghan OHare for The New York Times
“We will let our submissions to you on our clients behalf serve as our presentation to the Grand Jury,” Hardin told her in an email. The grand jury [declined to charge Watson](https://www.nytimes.com/2022/03/11/sports/football/nfl-deshaun-watson.html), and a Brazoria County panel [followed suit](https://www.nytimes.com/2022/03/24/sports/football/deshaun-watson-texas-grand-jury.html).
Amanda Peters, a former Harris County prosecutor who teaches law at South Texas College of Law in Houston, said such submissions, known as grand jury packets, are not the norm for the average person facing charges. They are more commonly introduced in high-profile cases in which the client can afford an elaborate and costly defense.
The N.F.L.s discipline is likely the next step. Watson has been shuttling between Cleveland, where he is training with his new team, and Houston, where he met with N.F.L. investigators and is giving depositions in the lawsuits. The civil cases, if not settled, will be tried after the football season.
Through it all, Watson has been adamant that he did nothing wrong. In a deposition on May 13, he was asked about the text message he sent to [Ashley Solis](https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/06/sports/football/deshaun-watsons-ashley-solis-lawsuit.html), one of his accusers, immediately after their appointment in March 2020. “Sorry about you feeling uncomfortable,” he wrote to her. Watson acknowledged that Solis was “teary-eyed” at the end of their session, but testified under oath that he still does not understand why.
“I dont know,” Watson said. “Like I told you at the beginning of this depo, Im still trying to figure out why we in the situation we are in right now, why Im talking to you guys, why you guys are interviewing me. I dont know. Do not know.”
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# Dianne Feinstein, the Institutionalist
## Dianne Feinstein fought for gun control, civil rights, and abortion access for half a century. Where did it all go wrong?
*From left,* **1971:** The first female president of the San Francisco Board of Supervisors. **2022:** The oldest sitting U.S. senator. Photo: Bettmann Archive via Getty Images (left); Philip Montgomery for *New York* Magazine (right)
![](https://pyxis.nymag.com/v1/imgs/5d6/db1/a408107b0e1019e253ba1de0185010f681-Feinstein-Lede.rhorizontal.w1100.jpg)
*From left,* **1971:** The first female president of the San Francisco Board of Supervisors. **2022:** The oldest sitting U.S. senator. Photo: Bettmann Archive via Getty Images (left); Philip Montgomery for *New York* Magazine (right)
![](https://pyxis.nymag.com/v1/imgs/5d6/db1/a408107b0e1019e253ba1de0185010f681-Feinstein-Lede.rhorizontal.w1100.jpg)
*From left,* **1971:** The first female president of the San Francisco Board of Supervisors. **2022:** The oldest sitting U.S. senator. Photo: Bettmann Archive via Getty Images (left); Philip Montgomery for *New York* Magazine (right)
This article was featured in [One Great Story](http://nymag.com/tags/one-great-story/), *New York*s reading recommendation newsletter. [Sign up here](https://nymag.com/promo/sign-up-for-one-great-story.html?itm_source=csitepromo&itm_medium=articlelink&itm_campaign=ogs_tertiary_zone) to get it nightly.
**On election night in San Francisco** in 1969, a 36-year-old woman who had run a campaign for the Board of Supervisors that featured the unconventional use of just her first name, Dianne, was waiting anxiously for results in a race she was not expected to win. The local media had barely covered her. She had earned the endorsement of only one elected official, the state assemblyman Willie Brown. She had initially run the race out of her own house and had taken a risky, forward-looking tactical approach: cultivating support from the citys growing population of gay voters and environmental conservationists.
As the returns began to trickle in, “it soon became clear that a big local story was unfolding,” Jerry Roberts later wrote in his 1994 book, [*Dianne Feinstein: Never Let Them See You Cry*](https://www.amazon.com/Dianne-Feinstein-Never-Let-Them/dp/0062585088)*.* “Dianne was not only winning, she was topping the ticket, an unheard-of showing for a nonincumbent, let alone a woman.”
Feinstein was so reluctant to believe the early returns that she had to be persuaded to go to headquarters on Election Night. When she entered the room, she “was thronged by an emotional crowd,” Roberts wrote. One of her supporters joked about “painting City Hall pink.”
The next day, San Franciscos daily papers blared news of Feinsteins stunning upset on their front pages. The press homed in on Feinsteins “dark-haired, blue-eyed beauty” and made sure to note that the woman who would, as the top vote-getter, soon assume control of the Board of Supervisors was dressed in “a fashionable blue Norell original with a bolero top and a wide white belt.”
Its hard to read about that night and not think of an evening 49 years later, when 28-year-old [Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez](https://nymag.com/intelligencer/article/aoc-biography-book-excerpt.html) shocked New York City by winning her scrappy primary campaign for Congress, sending a rush of reporters to belatedly cover a phenomenon known as “[AOC](https://www.thecut.com/tags/aoc/),” fetishizing her clothes, her hair, her face. Both womens entrances into politics were watershed moments. As Feinstein told reporters at the time, her win signaled “a new era, a different kind of politics working strongly for change,” saying of her then-12-year-old daughters interest in one day being mayor, “Each generation does better than the one before.”
---
## On the Cover
Dianne Feinstein. Photo: Philip Montgomery for *New York* Magazine
Feinsteins career in American politics, a series of historic firsts that began with her leading the Board of Supervisors, was born in the upheaval of the mid-20th centurys struggles for greater civil rights. There was a conviction that Feinsteins rising generation of Democrats, more diverse than any that had preceded it, would be the stewards of those hard-won victories. “I was sort of intoxicated with my win,” Feinstein told Roberts of that big night in 1969. “I had done something that hadnt been done before. I didnt understand what loss was like in the arena.”
Since then, Feinstein has lost as much as she has won. She has lost two husbands to cancer, two colleagues to assassination, and tens of thousands of her citys residents to the AIDS epidemic. She served on the Board of Supervisors for eight tumultuous years, and she ran and lost two mayoral races before serving as mayor of San Francisco for nine years. She was considered and passed over as a vice-presidential candidate in 1984, lost a California gubernatorial election in 1990, then won six elections to the United States Senate, where she serves as the fifth-most-senior senator.
Feinstein is now both the definition of the American political Establishment and the personification of the inroads women have made over the past 50 years. Her career, launched in a moment of optimism about what women leaders could do for this country, offers a study in what the Democratic Partys has *not* been able to do. As Feinstein consolidated her power at the top of the Senate, the partys losses steadily mounted. It has lost control of the [Supreme Court](https://www.thecut.com/2020/10/amy-coney-barrett-is-confirmed-to-the-supreme-court.html); it is likely about to lose control of Congress. [Children are being gunned down by the assault weapons](https://www.thecut.com/2022/05/these-are-the-identified-uvalde-school-shooting-victims.html) Feinstein has fought to ban, while the Senate — a legislative body she reveres — can only stand by idly, ultimately complicit. States around the nation are [banning books](https://www.thecut.com/2022/04/conservative-backlash-social-emotional-learning.html) about racism as Black people are being [shot and killed in supermarkets](https://www.thecut.com/2022/05/white-male-violence-buffalo-supermarket-shooting.html). Having gutted the [Voting Rights Act](https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2013/06/voting-rights-act-supreme-court-ruling.html), conservatives are leveraging every form of voter suppression they can, while the Senate cannot pass a bill to protect the franchise. The expected overturning of [*Roe* v. *Wade*](https://www.thecut.com/article/future-abortion-access-map.html) this summer will mark a profound step backward, a signal that other rights won during Feinsteins adulthood, including marriage equality and full access to contraception, are just as vulnerable.
As the storied career of one of the nations longest-serving Democrats approaches its end, its easy to wonder how the generation whose entry into politics was enabled by progressive reforms has allowed those victories to be taken away. And how a woman who began her career with the support of conservationist communities in San Francisco, and who staked her political identity on advancing womens rights, is now best known to young people as the senator who scolded environmental-activist kids in her office in 2019 and embraced [Lindsey Graham](https://www.thecut.com/2020/10/amy-coney-barrett-hearings-dianne-feinstein-hugs-graham.html) after the 2020 confirmation hearings of [Amy Coney Barrett](https://www.thecut.com/2020/10/amy-coney-barrett-is-confirmed-to-the-supreme-court.html), a Supreme Court justice who appears to be the fifth and final vote to end the constitutional right to an [abortion](https://www.thecut.com/2020/10/elizabeth-warren-on-amy-coney-barrett-and-abortion-rights.html). As Feinstein told Graham, “This is one of the best set of hearings that Ive participated in.”
For many from a younger and more pugilistic left bucking with angry exasperation at the unwillingness of Feinsteins generation to make room for new tactics and leadership before everything is lost, the senator is more than simply representative of a failed political generation — she is herself the problem. After she expressed her unwillingness to consider [filibuster reform](https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2020/06/joe-manchin-filibuster-democrats-2021-agenda.html) last year, noting that “if democracy were in jeopardy, I would want to protect it, but I dont see it being in jeopardy right now,” [*The Nation*](https://www.thenation.com/article/politics/dianne-feinstein-filibuster/) ran a piece headlined “Dianne Feinstein Is an Embarrassment.”
Feinstein, who turns 89 in June, is older than any other sitting member of Congress. Her [declining cognitive health](https://www.thecut.com/2020/12/new-yorker-claims-dianne-feinstein-is-seriously-struggling.html) has been the subject of recent reporting in both her hometown San Francisco *Chronicle* and the New York *Times.* It seems clear that Feinstein is mentally compromised, even if shes not all gone. “Its definitely happening,” said one person who works in California politics. “And its definitely not happening all the time.”
Reached by phone two days after 19 children were murdered in an elementary school in [Uvalde, Texas](https://www.thecut.com/2022/05/how-to-help-the-uvalde-community.html), in late May, Feinstein spoke in halting tones, sometimes trailing off mid-sentence or offering a non sequitur before suddenly alighting upon the right string of words. She would forget a recently posed question, or the date of a certain piece of legislation, but recall with perfect lucidity events from San Francisco in the 1960s. Nothing she said suggested a deterioration beyond what would be normal for a person her age, but neither did it demonstrate any urgent engagement with the various crises facing the nation.
“Oh, well get it done, trust me,” she assured me in reference to meaningful gun reform. Every question I asked — about the radicalization of the GOP, the end of *Roe,* the failures of Congress — was met with a similar sunny imperviousness, evincing an undiminished belief in institutional power that may in fact explain a lot about where Feinstein and other Democratic leaders have gone wrong. “Some things take longer than others, and you can only do what you can do at a given time,” she said. “That doesnt mean you cant do it at another time. And so one of the things that you develop is a certain kind of memory for progress: when you can do something in terms of legislation and have a chance of getting it through, and when the odds are against it, meaning the votes and that kind of thing. So Im very optimistic about the future of our country.”
**It is not a comment on her age** to note the sheer amount of history that has determined Dianne Feinsteins life.
Her father, Leon Goldman, was born in 1904 to Jewish immigrants. Feinsteins grandfather had fled pogroms in Russian-occupied Poland and had become a shopkeeper in San Francisco, where the familys lives were upended by the fire that raged after the 1906 earthquake. The family relocated to Southern California, and Feinsteins grandfather invested in oil wells. Leon would go on to medical school, becoming the first Jewish chair of surgery at the University of California, San Francisco, hospital and a member of San Franciscos rarefied social circles.
Feinsteins mother, Betty Rosenburg, fled the Bolshevik Revolution with her czarist Russian Orthodox father, traveling across Siberia by hay cart. She grew up to be a model, and after marrying Goldman and bearing three daughters, she became alcoholic, abusive, and suicidal. She raged and threatened to kill Dianne and her sisters, calling them “kikes” and “little Jews,” and once tried to drown her youngest daughter in a bathtub.
This instability remained a secret in the upscale circles in which Feinsteins parents moved. Her father was a workhorse, adored by his patients and his eldest daughter; many think she modeled her workaholic habits and insatiable ambitions on his. “Dianne is really Leon Goldman in the garb of a beautiful woman,” one family friend told Roberts.
Raised Jewish, Dianne was nonetheless enrolled as a teen at the exclusive Convent of the Sacred Heart High School in tony Pacific Heights, where she became quite taken with the aesthetics of Catholic ritual and hierarchy. The school was full of processions and teas and ceremonies. Students were required to wear starched uniforms and white gloves. In his book [*Season of the Witch*](https://www.amazon.com/Season-Witch-Enchantment-Terror-Deliverance/dp/1439108242)*,* San Francisco writer David Talbot reported that young Dianne would occasionally try on a nuns habit.
Dianne attended Stanford, where she won the highest political position available to female students at the time: the vice-presidency. She got a fellowship the year after her graduation, in 1955, during which she worked on a report about criminal justice in San Francisco. She eloped with the man who would become her first husband and got pregnant, giving birth to her daughter, Katherine, in 1957. Within two years, she would be divorced and a single mother at 26, albeit a very privileged one. In her mid-20s, she briefly entertained the idea of becoming a stage actress, took up sailing, and volunteered for John F. Kennedys 1960 campaign. When, in 1961, a San Francisco real-estate developer refused to show a home to a rising-star Black lawyer, Willie Brown, Dianne brought her daughter to a demonstration for Brown and bumped her stroller into Terry Francois, who was the head of the local NAACP. Both Francois and Brown would become close associates.
That same year, California governor Pat Brown, a patient of Diannes fathers, offered her a paid job on the California womens-parole-and-sentencing board. For six years, she had the power to determine sentence length for women who had been convicted of everything from public drunkenness to violent crimes. She took a reformist approach to criminal justice, calling for rehabilitation rather than long sentences in narcotics cases. Francois, who had become the first African American to serve on the San Francisco Board of Supervisors, assigned her to an advisory committee on local jails; she reported on the terrible state of the facilities, the inedible food, the overcrowding, the rampant vermin.
As part of her work with the board, she found herself determining sentences for [abortion providers](https://www.thecut.com/abortion-clinic-near-you). Although she would later strongly support abortion access and often told a story about how, back at Stanford, classmates had passed a plate to pay for a student to travel to Tijuana to end a pregnancy, in the early 60s the procedure was still illegal in California, and, as she would explain to Roberts, the cases in front of her were “all illegal back-alley abortionists. Many times, the women that they performed an abortion on suffered greatly. I really came to believe that the law is the law.”
Feinsteins memories of this period remain sharp. “Under the indeterminate-sentence law, most sentences carried a low of maybe six months and a high of ten years,” she told me by phone. “There was one case, her name was Anita Venza. And over and over, she committed abortions on women. I said when we were sentencing her, Anita, why do you continue doing this? And she said, I feel so sorry for women in this situation.’ ”
I asked Feinstein whether she had continued to sentence Venza despite this explanation. “Yes.”
But did Feinstein feel for her? “Oh, yes,” she replied. “But she was a dedicated … She was going to continue to do it. Theres no question. She had been in state prison and been paroled and was brought back.”
When I pushed further, asking Feinstein what it felt like now to be on the verge of a future in which providers like Venza could once again be sentenced to prison, and in which *the law* will once again be *the law,* she declined to fully acknowledge the chilling implications of the rollback on the near horizon, retreating instead behind impenetrable platitudes. “Well, one thing I have seen in my lifetime is that this country goes through different phases,” she said. “The institutions handling some of these issues have changed for the better. Theyve become more progressive, and I think thats important.”
**Feinsteins 1969 race for** the Board of Supervisors might have found echoes in [Ocasio-Cortezs groundbreaking 2018 campaign](https://www.thecut.com/2018/06/alexandria-ocasio-cortez-interview.html), but the differences between the two womens early paths are stark. Ocasio-Cortez ran a low-budget grassroots campaign out of her small Bronx apartment and was outspent by [Joe Crowley](https://www.thecut.com/2018/06/alexandria-ocasio-cortez-beats-joe-crowley-in-stunning-upset.html), her heavyweight Democratic-primary opponent, 18 to one. Feinsteins friends-and-family campaign, in contrast, was funded by San Franciscos elite and entailed auctions of Ansel Adams prints and a free surgery by her father. It was what many believed at the time to be the most expensive campaign in San Franciscos history.
Like a cartoon of efficient, rule-bound, Tracy Flickstyle white femininity, Feinstein promptly threw herself into her role as the head of the board, San Franciscos city council, transforming it from a part-time civic gig into a full-time study in technocratic control. She got there early and stayed late while her fellow supervisors, who needed actual jobs to support themselves, showed up when they could. “She crafted reams of legislation,” Roberts writes, “convened citizen advisory committees, performed ceremonial functions, demanded reports from bureaucrats.”
Feinsteins profile grew. She ran for mayor in 1971 and lost, and lost again in 1975, but she retained leadership of the board through the 70s, when things got weird in San Francisco. She believed in law enforcement and institutional control over the uncontrollable impulses of a city that was undulating with change.
In 1973, San Francisco was ravaged by the so-called [Zebra serial killings](https://www.sfchronicle.com/sf/article/Notorious-S-F-Zebra-killer-dies-in-prison-16288120.php). The next year, heiress [Patty Hearst](https://www.thecut.com/2018/01/patty-hearst-speaks-out-against-new-movie-series-on-her.html) was kidnapped by the Symbionese Liberation Army, whose members had assassinated the superintendent of the Oakland schools. In 1975, the citys police went on strike, and there was an assassination attempt on President Gerald Ford when he visited the city. Meanwhile, a group called the New World Liberation Front was connected to more than 70 bombings in Northern California, including at the San Francisco Opera House and the homes of some local executives.
Feinstein and several of her colleagues on the board were warned that they were targets. Packages full of dynamite were delivered to two board members, and in December 1976, when Feinstein was caring for her husband Bert Feinstein, then dying of cancer, a bomb was discovered outside 19-year-old Katherines window. It would have killed her except that the temperature had dropped that night, leading the device to misfire. The next year, the windows at Feinsteins vacation home on Monterey Bay were shot out.
In the fall of 1978, Feinstein traveled to the Himalayas with the man who would become her third husband, financier Dick Blum. While there, she contracted dysentery and was forced to slow down, even as discontent grew on the board; one of Feinsteins colleagues, a former police officer named Dan White, had become frustrated by money troubles, the policies of liberal mayor George Moscone, and the attention-getting successes of Harvey Milk, a liberal activist from the Castro who, in winning a spot on the board, had become the first openly gay man elected to political office in California. In the days that Feinstein had been at home with her intestinal ailment, White had abruptly quit his seat, then changed his mind and asked to be reinstated.
Feinstein advised Moscone to let him have his job back. But Milk despised White, telling the mayor that he would only impede his liberal agenda. Moscone eventually agreed with Milk and denied Whites request to be reinstated. On the morning of November 27, 1978, Feinstein, back to work for the first day after her trip and her illness, had been asked by Moscone to look out for an agitated White and calm him. Casually speaking to reporters as the board waited for the appointment of Whites replacement, she said that she would not be running a third mayoral campaign. While in Nepal, she had decided to leave politics.
“Its important to remember that she thought her career was over before it even began,” said Cleve Jones, the labor and gay-rights activist who in 1978 was Milks student intern. “It was a very polarized city and she, as a moderate, felt there was no place for her. So she was going to give up politics.”
At around 10:30 a.m., Dan White entered through a basement window of City Hall and went to meet the mayor. Afterward, Feinstein heard her former colleague rushing by her. She couldnt have known he had already shot and killed Moscone. “Dan,” she called to him. “I have something to do first,” White told her as he asked Milk to come into his office.
Feinstein heard the door of Whites office slam and someone shout, “Oh, no!” Then she heard shots and saw White running out of his office. When she entered, she found Milks body on the floor, surrounded by blood and brain matter. She reached down to take her colleagues pulse and put her finger straight into the bullet hole on Milks wrist.
Jones arrived to find City Hall in chaos. “Dianne came rushing past me,” he said, “and I could see her hands and sleeves were stained with blood, and then I saw Harveys feet sticking out of Dan Whites office. It was the first time Id ever seen a dead body.” Jones added, “There were many times when she and I disagreed, but Ive always felt I share a bond with her that kind of transcends all this other stuff, because of what we both witnessed and how that day completely and absolutely transformed our lives.”
Feinstein, her tan suit covered in Milks blood, composed though in obvious shock, told the crowd at City Hall that Moscone and Milk had been killed and that the suspect was former supervisor Dan White. As the head of the Board of Supervisors, she then became San Franciscos first female mayor.
**1970:** Dianne Feinstein is sworn in as a member of San Franciscos Board of Supervisors.
Photo: Bill Young/San Francisco Chronicle via Getty Images
**1971:** She runs for mayor of San Francisco and loses.
Photo: Duke Downey/San Francisco Chronicle via Getty Images
**1978:** At the opening of a tourism center.
Photo: Jerry Telfer/San Francisco Chronicle/Polaris
**1978:** Speaking to the press after the assassination of Harvey Milk.
Photo: AP Photo
**1981:** Mayor Feinstein.
Photo: © Roger Ressmeyer/CORBIS/VCG via Getty Images
Photographs by Bill Young/San Francisco Chronicle via Getty Images, Duke Downey/San Francisco Chronicle via Getty Images, Jerry Telfer/San Francisco Chronicle/Polaris, AP Photo, © Roger Ressmeyer/CORBIS/VCG via Getty Images
**Feinstein has maintained** that her devotion to centrism was born of the tumult that led to her rise. “It was as if the world had gone mad,” Feinstein writes in [*Nine and Counting*](https://www.amazon.com/Nine-Counting-Senate-Barbara-Boxer/dp/B000HWYMS2/)*,* a 2000 book about the nine women then serving in the U.S. Senate, describing her decisions to pursue the job of interim mayor in the wake of the assassinations and to run for reelection less than two years later. “The city needed to be reassured that there would be some consistency as we put the broken pieces back together … From that nonpartisan experience, I drew my greatest political lesson — the heart of political change is at the center of the political spectrum.”
This does not mean that Feinstein is a centrist, ideologically speaking. She has a solidly Democratic voting record and has occasionally taken positions progressively ahead of her party, though in other instances she has practically acted as a Republican. If she has hopscotched around the middle, its because she believes stability and progress — “the heart of political change” — flow from strong, functioning institutions built on consensus. It made Feinstein an odd fit for San Francisco in the late 70s. As Talbot wrote, “San Franciscans had a fondness for lovable rogues and other colorful characters. But in a city of Marx Brothers, Feinstein was Margaret Dumont, forever distressed and befuddled by the antics around her.” In the wake of the assassinations, however, she became “precisely the right leader for the time.”
In her nine years as mayor of San Francisco, she grew ever more convinced that the balm for social upheaval and partisan protest was a tightening of civic authority. She inaugurated weekly meetings of city department heads, where the police chief always presented first. Just as she had taken to the starched clothes and white gloves and ceremonial displays of order at her Catholic school, Feinstein took up the aesthetics of local governance. She kept a fire turnout coat in the trunk of her car and would appear at blazes dressed like a firefighter; she was photographed in a custom-cut police uniform holding an emergency call radio and would listen to the police scanner while being driven around the city in her limousine.
Her mayoralty would overlap with the worst of the AIDS crisis. On this issue, too, her approach was to seek a middle path by giving and taking in turns. While on the Board of Supervisors, she had cast the deciding vote in support of Willie Browns legislation legalizing all private sex acts between consenting adults and proposed an ordinance to ban hiring or job discrimination against gays and lesbians — the first of its kind in the nation. But Feinstein had also spearheaded prim anti-pornography campaigns, and in her early years as mayor, she declined to sign a bill recognizing same-sex partnerships — despite offering her backyard for a same-sex commitment ceremony. She also provoked the fury of gay residents by closing the citys bathhouses.
“Im a very far-left union organizer and queer radical,” said Jones. “And buddies and I would go to a bathhouse and sit in that big Jacuzzi and conspire to drive Dianne nuts.” But, he added, “I remember talking with someone about how she was really walking a tightrope, the compassion she showed for people with HIV at a time of incredible stigma and misinformation and hysteria.” Joness appraisal is echoed in Randy Shiltss defining account of the era, [*And the Band Played On*](https://www.amazon.com/Band-Played-Politics-People-Epidemic/dp/0312009941)*,* in which he notes that “of all the big-league Democrats in the United States, Feinstein was undoubtedly the most consistently pro-gay voice.”
Yet decades later she stayed away from the front lines of the movement for marriage equality. In 2004, she would publicly lambaste then-Mayor Gavin Newsom for issuing marriage licenses to gay couples in San Francisco, which she was sure provoked a conservative backlash that helped George W. Bush win reelection. “The whole issue has been too much, too fast, too soon,” Feinstein said after the 2004 election, betraying her tactical distrust of explosive social change. (She has since said that she was wrong on this.)
“Its not just being in the middle so you can get votes in Fresno as well as Berkeley,” said Jones. “Its that she believes in the power of the system to protect and manage. Shes all about *order.*
**After losing a 1990 bid** for California governor, Feinstein ran for a vacant Senate seat in 1992. She, fellow Californian Barbara Boxer, Illinoiss Carol Moseley Braun, and Washingtons Patty Murray all won their races that year, doubling the number of women in the Senate (there had never before been more than two serving at one time). It was dubbed “the Year of the Woman,” part of an election cycle fueled by outrage over the treatment of [Anita Hill](https://www.thecut.com/2021/09/anita-hill-wants-more-than-an-apology-from-joe-biden.html) at [Clarence Thomas](https://www.thecut.com/2018/02/the-case-for-impeaching-clarence-thomas.html)s confirmation hearings in 1991, in which the all-white, all-male character of the Senate Judiciary Committee had been put on miserable display.
Even during that 1992 race, Feinsteins willingness to adopt established norms was evident. “Pundits would remark that *if* there was a model for a woman senator, it would look like Feinstein,” recalled Rose Kapolczynski, who ran Boxers 1992 campaign. “In other words, a woman who looked and acted like male senators looked and acted.”
Still, it is hard to convey to those who have grown up in a world in which Feinstein and Boxer and Murray and Braun *were* the system, in which [Hillary Clinton](https://www.thecut.com/article/hillary-clinton-life-after-election.html) was considered, twice, the inevitable next president, in which Kamala Harris (the successor to Boxers California Senate seat) is now the vice-president, exactly what the victories of Feinstein and other women in her freshman class represented.
“I danced in the streets,” remembered the writer Rebecca Solnit, a longtime San Franciscan. “On Castro Street specifically, with lots of gay men, during the great 1992 election that brought Boxer and Feinstein into office. Feinstein feels like a bridge to me, a fixed point in the landscape that helped us cross out of the old, worse world, in which women were not senators.” But, she added, “we have traveled a long way from that bridge now.”
By its mere presence, the new cohort of women lawmakers was supposed to change how things worked in Congress or at least give the appearance of change. That function was made explicit to Feinstein and Braun, who were asked to do representational repair work on the Judiciary Committee.
“I walked away from that hearing convicted in the determination that I was gonna get women on that committee,” Joe Biden, who as committee chair notoriously failed to defend Hill from Republican attacks, says in the 2007 documentary *14 Women*. “And I called Dianne.”
If women changed the Senates image, they did not always change its character. Political representation is a funny thing. The absence of women and minorities from governing institutions is ghoulish. But the seemingly obvious remedy — putting those people in power — can often involve new participants simply recapitulating the standards set by those who preceded them.
When Feinstein started in the Senate, she enforced its dress code, which reflected her own pearl-wearing respectability: No pantsuits for female staffers; they had to wear skirts or dresses. But even as Senate rules relaxed, Feinstein kept her standards intact. As recently as 2017 it was reported that women in her office were required to wear stockings and skirts of a certain length. Her very first speech on the Senate floor was in support of Bill Clintons landmark passage of the Family and Medical Leave Act, but when it came to the leave policy in her own office, she was behind the curve. In 2014, Feinsteins office provided only six weeks of paid family leave, half of what many younger senators were offering both new mothers and fathers. (Its 12 weeks now.)
Feinstein is, by multiple accounts, a terrifying boss to work for, famously stealing the old line “I dont get ulcers; I give them.” During her race for governor in 1990, former employees, according to author Celia Morris, “called her imperious, hectoring and even abusive, claiming that she would dress down a hapless victim in front of others and would neither apologize nor admit it if she proved to be mistaken.” Within six months of her arrival in the Senate, 14 of her aides had departed (compared to three for Boxer), with 11 quitting and three fired.
Feinsteins expectations of her staff have consistently remained sky-high. She has all of her aides — around 70 people — compile a two-to-four-page report of everything they did during the week, every week. Over the weekend, Feinstein reads them and then quizzes individuals on their reports in all-staff Monday meetings. Some saw these gatherings as democratizing. Others found them to be a tortured study in hierarchical protocols. Multiple former staffers spoke of the strict seating arrangements, with senior staffers around a middle table in a giant conference room, their aides in seats in a ring behind their bosses, and the most junior people standing at the periphery. “Everyone there had to be prepared, no issue too big or too small,” said one aide from the 1990s. “So it could be, What is happening with the foreign-aid package? Or it could be, Im looking at a report of how many incoming letters we had and how many outgoing, and why is there such a backlog in responses?’ ”
“If you werent good at responding to that kind of Socratic interrogation technique, she didnt make your job easy,” said the aide. “On the other hand, do I admire a senator who was as focused on how fast constituents got responses as she was on a foreign-aid package? I sure did.”
When a staffer left, if Feinstein liked them and they had served for a long time, she would give them prints of the still lifes she draws. If they were less special to her or had served briefly, she would give them a watch with her signature across its face. It could be difficult to leave her employment, several former staffers told me; she understood it as a slight. One former aide who took another job on the Hill remembered Feinstein saying, “Its really unfortunate you are leaving; you had great potential.” When new people arrived in Feinsteins employ, colleagues would surreptitiously hand them [Jerry Robertss biography](https://www.amazon.com/Dianne-Feinstein-Never-Let-Them/dp/0062585088), with its details about her troubled, privileged childhood and her political coming of age in the crucible of San Francisco, with a whispered “Read this; it will all make sense.”
When stories have run about her bad behavior, Feinstein has shrugged them off. “When a man is strong, it is expected. When a woman is, it is not,” she told the Los Angeles [*Times*](https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1993-06-07-mn-606-story.html) in 1993. And she told her biographer, “When people act independently of the head figure, it causes conflicts. You cant let staff run you. The person in charge has to be the guiding post.”
**1982:** As mayor, she makes gun control a key policy issue.
Photo: Eric Luse/San Francisco Chronicle via Getty Images
**1984:** Answering questions about the possibility of becoming Walter Mondales running mate.
Photo: Diana Walker/Getty Images
**1992:** Feinstein and Barbara Boxer running for the U.S. Senate.
Photo: Brant Ward/San Francisco Chronicle/Polaris
**1993:** Senators Feinstein, Carol Moseley Braun, and Joe Biden on the Senate Judiciary Committee.
Photo: Maureen Keating/CQ Roll Call via Getty Images
**1997:** A meeting of the women in the Senate.
Photo: CQ Roll Call via Getty Images
Photographs by Eric Luse/San Francisco Chronicle via Getty Images, Diana Walker/Getty Images, Brant Ward/San Francisco Chronicle/Polaris, Maureen Keating/CQ Roll Call via Getty Images, CQ Roll Call via Getty Images
**From the moment Feinstein** got to the Senate, she embraced its rituals and practices, the clubby procedural stuff that at one time brought senators from competing parties together with a sense of their own power and responsibility — and sometimes even enabled them to get things done. “She is a model senator,” said Jeffrey Millman, who managed her 2018 campaign. “She loves this work, and she is really good at it.” But as with so much of her career, Feinsteins record in the Senate is a mash of righteous fights and dispiriting capitulation, her ideological positioning scattered and her aims pragmatic, geared toward the goal of firm governance above all else.
As a young person reporting on California prisons, Feinstein fervently opposed capital punishment, but in 2004, she created an extremely awkward scene by going off script and making a call for the death penalty at the funeral of murdered police officer Isaac Espinoza. (More recently, challenged from the left, Feinstein has returned to her anti-death-penalty stance.)
She told me in our conversation that the institutions meting out criminal justice have become more progressive in the 60 years since she was on the sentencing board. But thats not actually true, mostly because the kind of bipartisan cooperation Feinstein values so highly has centered on the expansion of a carceral state, via legislation like the [1994 crime bill](https://www.congress.gov/103/statute/STATUTE-108/STATUTE-108-Pg1796.pdf) authored by [Joe Biden](https://www.thecut.com/2019/04/a-running-list-of-things-joe-biden-hasnt-apologized-for.html) and supported strenuously by Feinstein.
When it comes to foreign policy, Feinstein has been a hawkish defender of drone strikes and expanded surveillance, calling [Edward Snowden](https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2016/06/edward-snowden-life-as-a-robot.html)s whistle-blowing “an act of treason.” But the pinnacle of her career was her damning 6,700-page [report](https://www.feinstein.senate.gov/public/index.cfm/press-releases?ID=d2677a34-2d91-4583-92a4-391f68ceae46) from 2014, which she commissioned as the chair of the Senate Intelligence Committee, taking on the CIAs role in torturing terrorism suspects during the Bush years. In the words of one California political operative, “she was practically melting witnesses with her eyes, just having this steel-trap mind and asking for more details.” It was a moment when even progressive Californians could feel a sense of pride in their unapologetically moderate senator, who may have seen in the CIAs brutality a breach of the norms she believes in so fervently.
As George Shultz, the former secretary of State, told the [*New Yorker*](https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2015/06/22/the-inside-war)s Connie Bruck in 2015, “Dianne is not really bipartisan so much as nonpartisan.” Her devotion is to the system, in which laws are made, regulations are implemented, and oversight is prized. She is stalwart in her conviction that the way to make progress is to maintain open, friendly lines of communication with members of the opposition party, a stance that her defenders argue is crucial to getting anything accomplished in the Senate.
Describing the Ten-in-Ten Fuel Economy legislation passed in 2007 by Feinstein and several colleagues, which ensured that emissions standards grew ten miles per gallon in ten years, Millman said, “Could it have been 20 miles per gallon? Yes, but then the few Republicans wouldnt have signed on to it, and it wouldnt have been a law; it would have been a regulation. And when Trump came into power, he could simply have undone it.”
She is probably most famous for her push, as soon as she got into the Senate, for an assault-weapons ban. She had been spoiling for this fight for decades; back when she was mayor of San Francisco, her controversial ban on handguns provoked a recall campaign (she survived it). In 1993, Idaho Republican Larry Craig challenged her by saying, “The gentlelady from California needs to become a little bit more familiar with firearms and their deadly characteristics.” In response, Feinstein said, “I am quite familiar with firearms. I became mayor as a product of assassination. I found my assassinated colleague and put a finger through a bullet hole trying to get a pulse. I was trained in the shooting of a firearm when I had terrorist attacks, with a bomb in my house, when my husband was dying, when I had windows shot out. Senator, I know something about what firearms can do.”
The assault-weapons ban passed in 1994 as part of the crime bill; its 2004 expiration marked the start of our infernal era of near-daily mass shootings. On this issue, Feinstein has been receptive to the activist politics of a younger generation. She appeared in San Francisco with teenage demonstrators in 2018s March for Our Lives. The footage is kind of heartbreaking from a generational perspective: crowds full of kids who have no idea who the ancient woman on the stage is, what she has lived through, that she has spent decades fighting the battle that has, horrifically, now become theirs.
Feinstein implored her colleagues to act after the murders of 20 schoolchildren in Sandy Hook in 2012: “Show some guts,” she said. She told the New York *Times* that one reason the Senate could no longer pass an assault-weapons ban was the rising abuse of the filibuster. Of course, Feinstein has been unwilling to commit to ending it.
She acknowledges to me that politics have “hardened” around gun laws in recent decades, saying that “everything has become more partisan than it was when I came to the Senate. When I came to the Senate, Bob Dole was the leader, and he stood up and said … What was it? Tom, help me, what was the quote?” Her aide Tom Mentzer filled in that Dole had agreed that the gun issue was too important to filibuster and put it to a vote.
When I suggest to Feinstein that the partisan hardening has been asymmetrical, that her Republican colleagues have grown more radical and rigid while she and many of her fellow Democratic leaders have been all too willing to compromise, she responded, “Well, yes. I think thats not inaccurate. I think its an accurate statement. What did you first say about Democrats moving?” I repeated that it was the right that has gotten more inflexible while the Democrats have been willing to cede ground.
“Im not sure,” she responded. “But its different; theres no question about it. And I think there is much more party control. When I came to the Senate, we spoke out, and we learned the hard way, and we took action, and it was clear what was happening with weapons in the country. It still is. And in a way, the weapon issue was a good one because we were able to pass the first bill. When was it, Tom?” Mentzer reminded her that the assault-weapons ban was passed in 1994.
When I asked her about her stated commitment to centrism as a reaction to the tumult of her early political life, she began speaking, unprompted, about Dan White, clearly still appalled by his violent transgressions against the respectability politics that have helped her navigate the world. “A former young, handsome police officer who goes in and kills the mayor,” she said. It was the kind of incident that should grab the governments notice and compel it to “try to fix those things which are wrong.” But the ultimate lesson she derived from the response to Milks murder possesses an almost Olympian complacency: “I think one great thing about a democracy is that there is always flexibility, newcomers always can win and play a role, and its a much more open political society, that I see, than I hear of in many other countries.”
From her youth, Feinstein has been an institutionalist, with an institutionalists respect for structure, management, and hierarchy as means to manage the rabble of activism and protest. She seems unable to appreciate the possibility that partisan insurgents have overrun those institutions themselves. The crowds who came through the door with battering rams in January 2021 looking to kill a vice-president surely had chilling echoes for Feinstein, but days later, in the name of the Senate, she was defending Ted Cruz and Josh Hawley — a man who had offered up a sign of solidarity to the insurrectionists — in their attempts to delegitimize the election of Joe Biden.
“I think the Senate is a place of freedom,” she told reporters. “And people come here to speak their piece, and they do, and they provide a kind of leadership. In some cases, its positive; in some cases, maybe not. A lot of that depends on whos looking and what party they are.”
“Shes like Charlie Brown and the football,” said Dahlia Lithwick, Slates senior legal analyst*,* describing Feinsteins unstinting belief that her institution is still functional. “But she doesnt see that the whole football field is on fire.”
Long before Feinstein sealed the deal with her embrace of Graham, she and her senior colleagues on the Judiciary Committee were criticized for being passive as Mitch McConnell stole a Supreme Court seat from the Democrats. When Republicans crisscrossed the country bragging about holding on to Antonin Scalias seat after his death, Democrats did nothing. When Trump appointed the staunch conservative Neil Gorsuch, Lithwick said there was “a little chatter about boycotting the hearings,” but then Democrats “went ahead and had the hearing and confirmed him.”
Feinsteins belief in the Senates sanctity may mean that the enduring moment of her career will not be the assault-weapons ban or her grilling of CIA torturers but that awkward, notorious embrace of Graham. In seeking refuge in government institutions as the shield against instability and insurrection, Feinstein has been unable to discern that it was her peers in government — in their suits, on the dais, in the Senate, on the Judiciary Committee — who were laying siege to democracy, rolling back protections, packing the court with right-wingers, and building a legal infrastructure designed to erase the progress that facilitated the rise of her generation of politicians. But this is who she has always been.
Of that “appalling moment” with Graham, Cleve Jones recalled thinking, “*Oh my goodness, you just really cling to this notion of civility and bipartisan discourse.* One can marvel at it. But its genuine. Its the core of her.”
**2001:** Feinstein and her staff.
Photo: Mark F. Sypher/Roll Call/Getty Images
**2006:** During Samuel Alitos nomination hearing.
Photo: Joe Raedle/Getty Images
**2018:** During Christine Blasey Fords testimony against Brett Kavanaugh.
Photo: Tom Williams/CQ Roll Call/Pool
**2020:** Her infamous embrace of Lindsey Graham during the confirmation of Amy Coney Barrett.
Photo: Samuel Corum/Pool/AFP via Getty Images
**2021:** Paying her respects to Bob Dole in the Capitol.
Photo: Oliver Contreras/Getty Images
Photographs by Mark F. Sypher/Roll Call/Getty Images, Joe Raedle/Getty Images, Tom Williams/CQ Roll Call/Pool, Samuel Corum/Pool/AFP via Getty Images, Oliver Contreras/Getty Images
**The Senate rewards** its longest-serving members with power. The most dynamic freshman senator in the world would not have the influence that a senior senator does, which is part of the pernicious trap that has created the bipartisan gerontocracy under which we now wither.
As the senior senator from California on the Appropriations Committee, the temptation to stay forever is great, not just for selfish reasons but for the good of her state. “If we lost her seniority … every other state benefits from California not having seniority, because our appropriations are so much larger,” said Millman.
She has the conviction, held by some in their later years, that she knows better. This is the woman who helped to create Joshua Tree National Park but who also spoke dismissively to the [youth activists from the Sunrise Movement](https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2019/02/feinstein-fumbles-in-meeting-with-young-climate-activists.html) who came to her office in 2019, telling them they didnt understand how laws are made. “Ive been doing this for 30 years,” she said to the group, insisting, “I know what Im doing.” But now, with age and all its attendant authority and power, comes serious diminishment.
Multiple reports of her failing memory have been rumbling through Washington, D.C. In 2021, Chuck Schumer removed her from that ranking role on the Judiciary Committee. The *Chronicle* reported that “the senator is guided by staff members much more than her colleagues are,” a remarkable change for someone who once said, “You cant let staff run you.” I had let Feinsteins staff know in advance that I would be asking her about her record on gun reform, and early in our conversation it was clear that Feinstein had come prepared with notes. “The overwhelming statistic is that we have had 200-plus mass shootings so far in 2022, 230 people have been killed, and 840 injured. These are things that we wanted you to hear,” she said, before adding, “So I have this on a card, but I think those are key features.” The acknowledgment of the card felt like a point of pride: She wanted me to know she was sharp enough to know I was sharp enough to know.
That Feinstein may be wrestling with dementia is in fact among the most sympathetic things about her. Getting very old can be hard, lonely; her third husband died of cancer this spring. It is pretty awful now to watch her tell CNNs Dana Bash, in 2017, that she will stay in office because “its what Im meant to do, as long as the old bean holds up” — and put her finger to her head.
Why didnt she decline yet another six-year term in 2018 or earlier, when it was perhaps clear that the old bean was *not* really holding up as she had hoped? Her defenders will lay out all the reasons that retiring in 2017 didnt make sense, including simply that she won. “Is a diminished Senator Feinstein better than a junior California senator?” asked one of her former staffers. “I would argue, emphatically, yes.” Feinsteins office released a statement that read in part, “If the question is whether Im an effective senator for 40 million Californians, the record shows that I am.”
It is also true that she works among plenty of colleagues who are dumb as a box of hammers and have been so since their youth. “Ive worked in politics my whole life,” said Jones, “and met a lot of politicians who are little more than cardboard cutouts propped up by staff. Its important to understand that she was never that person.”
But the fact that many of her colleagues, on their best days, are less acute than Feinstein on her worst is exactly the kind of dismal, institutionally warped logic that has left us governed by eldercrats who will not live long enough to have to deal with the consequences of  their failures. Feinsteins defenders argue that there is something gendered about focusing on her overextended tenure, especially when the history of the Senate includes Strom Thurmond, who retired at 100 and was basically not sentient by the end. Chuck Grassley and Patrick Leahy and Mitch McConnell are all in their 80s. Joe Biden first got to the Senate in 1973, and hes the president of the United States. But being no worse than Strom Thurmond was not the standard to which we were supposed to aspire at this juncture. And while it may indeed be feminist heresy to expect more from women, in fairness, some of those women told us to expect more from them. They were the ones who cast their own elections as the dawn of a new era. They were the ones who argued that every generation does better than the one before.
Indeed, what may be producing the anger at this generation of Democrats is not just ageism, sexism, or the correct apprehension that Americas governing structures incentivize officials to hold on to power sometimes until they literally die. It is also the smug assuredness with which Democratic leaders, in whatever state of infirmity, can still confidently, in the summer of 2022, tell us to trust them and see themselves as a bulwark against the ruin that is so evidently our present and near future.
Perhaps the progress made over several decades in the middle of the 20th century gave Feinstein and her peers an idealized sense of the nations institutions as pliable and always improving. She could urge patience and civility because so many structural exclusions had begun to give way. “Women have really grown to the position where their capability is enormous,” she told me. “I see this with great pride: when women come in who are major officers in our military, in uniform, talking about a given problem, and they are articulate, theyre committed, and they make change. And so this is a day that we should not be disappointed in. Its a day where, if you look back 50 years, it was very different. But progress has been made, and progress will continue to be made. Im absolutely convinced of that.”
But those articulate women in the uniforms Feinstein fetishizes got there in part because of the social and political upheavals Feinstein has strained so hard to quell. The gains made by women and people of color and gays and lesbians and trans people and immigrants were extracted *by force* from a system that had been built to exclude them. To be on the side of the system in the wake of victories wrenched from that system was not to be at the center. It wasnt moderate. It wasnt neutral.
Feinstein doesnt subscribe to this reading of American democracy. She believes those at the top of institutions can help those at the bottom get what they want. But American government has become *less* democratic in the same years that she and her peers have risen to lead it. A majority of Americans want gun control, but the Senate, whose arcane rules Feinstein still submits to, will not allow it. They want abortion rights, but the Court, which was stolen by Feinsteins Republican friends, is poised to ensure that those rights are erased.
There is a great story in Robertss biography about how when Feinstein was on the Board of Supervisors, she got word that the headmistress of her old school, Sacred Heart, had been arrested protesting on behalf of farmworkers with Cesar Chavez. That headmistress, Sister Mary Mardel, told Roberts about how her former pupil had called the jail to speak to her. “Sister, what are you doing in jail?” Feinstein had asked her in alarm. “What about all the white gloves?”
Dianne Feinstein, the Institutionalist
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# Did Jesse James Bury Confederate Gold? These Treasure Hunters Think So.
## What does a search involving possible missing Confederate bounty, the myth of Jesse James, the FBI and a mysterious map reveal about the American psyche?
Carrying a metal detector, Chad Somers hops a small creek while hunting for gold outside Zanesville, Ohio. (Dustin Franz/For The Washington Post)
I clung to a rope on a nearly vertical hillside in rural Ohio, gingerly inching my way down toward a hand-dug shaft that was said to conceal an enormous cache of solid gold bars. I lost my footing and started to slide, but the rope saved me from rolling 70 feet to a creek below or crashing into the trunks of pines and beeches that towered over the slope. The old beech trees were especially haunting: Their smooth bark was elaborately carved with rabbits, human faces, hearts, letters, a boat and what looked like crude blueprints. The trees told an epic story, according to the treasure hunters I was with.
The tale featured the outlaw Jesse James, a powerful secret network of collaborators, and vast quantities of gold they allegedly buried in “depositories” from here to Utah and New Mexico to fund a Confederate uprising after the Civil War. The notorious gunslinger had been a Confederate guerrilla during the Civil War before turning to robbing banks and trains. The treasure hunters were intrigued by a controversial theory that he was part of an underground effort to help the South rise again.
It was a Wednesday in mid-March, the fourth day of the expedition. So far, the findings seemed promising. Grainy video from a camera snaked into a tunnel off the shaft showed potentially man-made structures and possibly reflective material. A metal detector capable of penetrating 25 feet was pinging and showing large metallic targets. It was time to call in a track hoe and start major digging.
[
](https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/?utm_term=.8e6f47de200c&itid=lk_inline_storybox)
[
![](https://www.washingtonpost.com/resizer/Pkrv0U6q2ItrsmjppN0GmGtvlvw=/arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost/public/BMJZS5VUEUI6ZA2YECVBMNK7WQ.jpg)
](https://www.washingtonpost.com/magazine/interactive/2022/bob-dylan-folk-music/)
“This is no longer a treasure hunt. This is a treasure recovery,” declared Chad Somers, a wiry former rodeo bull rider who had discovered the site. He was joined by Brad Richards, a retired high school history teacher from Michigan who had appeared in two seasons of the History channel series “The Curse of Civil War Gold,” and Warren Getler, a former journalist and longtime investigator of Confederate treasure claims who had been a consultant on Disneys 2007 treasure-hunting blockbuster “National Treasure: Book of Secrets.” Somers had invited Getler for his prominence in the field; Getler brought in Richards, a friend from previous historical treasure investigations.
My disbelief was suspended as shakily as my body on the hillside. I *wanted* to believe there was gold in them thar hills. But Ohio is one of the last places I would have chosen to dig for treasure buried by Jesse James. History books say he and his brother, Frank, marauded farther west, from the 1860s until 1882, when James Gang traitor Robert Ford shot him in the back of the head in Missouri. During his unusually long career for an outlaw, James cultivated his own mystique, teasing the lawmen on his trail in cheeky letters to newspapers and staging robberies as spectacular, bloody public spectacles. He came to be seen as a noble Robin Hood who was so slick he may have faked his own death. The claim that he buried some of the loot he stole, as well as gold from other sources, was a part of the myth that the treasure hunters hoped to verify.
It seemed fitting that this hunt was in a secluded forest about 30 miles northwest of Zanesville, the birthplace of Zane Grey, the prolific popularizer of the Old West in scores of novels. Whether we found gold or not, we were plunging deep into American mythologies of one sort or another: outlaw legends, fables of rebellion, beguiling notions of hidden historical hands operating behind the scenes.
Zanesville had been seized by treasure-hunting fever before. In March 1949, a posse of men claiming to be intimates or kin of Jesse James blew into town with a primitive land mine detector to search for $1.5 million in gold that they said was buried somewhere just to the north. In the end, all they dug up was an empty metal box, but they told the local papers they also found carvings on trees that they interpreted as clues. In fact, their failure only validated the almost mystical qualities they attributed to James. One of the treasure hunters told the Zanesville Times Recorder that the outlaw had foreseen the invention of metal detectors but knew “how to cover \[treasure\] with something so no machine will ever locate it.”
Treasure hunting maintains its grip on American culture, with at least two dozen reality shows over the past decade devoted to finding everything from the Holy Grail to the riches of the Knights Templar, according to the database [IMDb.com](http://imdb.com/). The predictable, tortured conclusion of these shows is nearly always the same: no treasure — so it must *still* be out there. But I was descending into the mystery anyway, enchanted in spite of myself. I had first encountered Getlers work on the Confederate underground in 2009, when I interviewed him about the oddly related mysteries of Masonic symbology around Washington that best-selling novelist Dan Brown centered in [his D.C. thriller](https://read.amazon.com/kp/embed?asin=B002KQ6BT6&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_E6VRG0K3KC6G5TQFM11C&tag=thewaspos09-20) that year.
Id come to see treasure hunting and amateur code breaking as metaphors for our age, when the traditional arbiters of truth — the media, government officials, political parties, religious institutions — have lost some, or all, of their authority. We have to decipher things on our own. The challenge in such a conspiratorial climate is to distinguish truth from speculation: Whats the difference between secret knowledge that guides you to a pot of gold and, say, the signs that lead you to suspect that a presidential election was stolen, or that a deadly virus is fake news? The men I was with were looking for something tangibly precious, sure — but in other ways, maybe they were also searching for something that were all missing.
At the beginning of the “National Treasure” sequel, Nicolas Cages character lectures in Washington about a shadowy fraternity called the Knights of the Golden Circle and a dark secret contained in the missing pages of John Wilkes Booths diary. Had the diary pages not been burned, he says, Abraham Lincolns “killers may have found a vast treasure of gold, and the Union may well have lost the Civil War.”
It sounds like a villainous conspiracy concocted in Hollywood — except that the fiction is spiced with fact. The Knights of the Golden Circle really did exist. According to one of the few mainstream histories of the organization, “[Knights of the Golden Circle: Secret Empire, Southern Secession, Civil War](https://read.amazon.com/kp/embed?asin=B00B119JF4&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_8BHVFR8F63060AH6J7MK&tag=thewaspos09-20)” by David C. Keehn, Booth and at least one other conspirator in plots to kidnap or kill Lincoln probably were members.
The KGC was founded in the 1850s by a Virginia doctor transplanted to — yes — Ohio. It was primarily a Southern group but had plenty of Northern sympathizers, including hundreds in a county about an hour north of Zanesville, according to a news report at the time. The group attracted 50,000 members. Before the war they focused on agitating for secession and building a slaveholding empire in a geographic circle encompassing the southern United States, the Caribbean and parts of Latin America. During the war, they filled the ranks of Confederate forces. After the war, the KGC seemed to melt away, possibly splintering into pro-South successor groups or joining the Ku Klux Klan.
This was just when Jesse James was making his own transition from wartime Confederate guerrilla to postwar, politically inspired, anti-Union bandit and killer. Over the next century, legends of the KGC and myths of the outlaw became entwined and endlessly embellished.
And Confederate gold did go missing. In the waning days of the war, in April 1865, Confederate President Jefferson Davis fled Richmond with a trainload of what was left of the Confederate treasury in gold and silver. Some of it was lost or stolen in the chaos, and the case remains a mystery. A popular theory in treasure-hunting circles is that the KGC may have had a hand in the matter, and that the group also buried much more gold from other sources in multiple locations. KGC historian Keehn disagrees: “I never really found anything that supports the treasure-hunting thing,” he told me.
James entered the picture in the early 1960s and mid-1970s when a self-styled private detective named Orvus Lee Howk, who claimed to be Jamess grandson, wrote a book and contributed to another arguing that the outlaw was a KGC leader who buried gold. Howk presented no evidence beyond his colorful yarns, but he had joined the treasure hunt in Zanesville in 1949. Today, the James-KGC-gold connection forms an active subculture within treasure-hunting culture, spawning books like “[Jesse James and the Lost Templar Treasure](https://read.amazon.com/kp/embed?asin=B07JYLC1MD&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_70WV9Z755ND9XMCMW058&tag=thewaspos09-20)” and TV movies like “Jesse James Hidden Treasure.”
T.J. Stiles, author of the groundbreaking biography “[Jesse James: Last Rebel of the Civil War](https://read.amazon.com/kp/embed?asin=B0047747Q0&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_DJJDQNQAR8A633W7KJW0&tag=thewaspos09-20),” told me that the treasure hunters get at least one important thing right about the outlaw: He was a much more significant political figure than standard accounts portray. “With Jesse, it was crime plus politics,” Stiles says. He and his gang “werent modern terrorists, but what distinguishes him from all the other criminals in the 19th century is the way he would use his notoriety to promote a political cause” — namely, the Lost Cause of the South and the maintenance of white supremacy. James was part of a band that targeted banks connected to Unionists and harassed election officials during the midterms of 1866. He decried the postwar Republican party of Lincoln and advocated against the reelection of Ulysses S. Grant in 1872. The treasure hunters, says Stiles, leap “ahead of the evidence” when they extend Jamess political program to include burying gold to support a Confederate resurrection or some other mysterious power grab.
James roamed as far north as Minnesota to rob a bank, but no deeds in Ohio have been documented. And yet, this is undoubtedly murky territory, which makes absolute proof of anything elusive. James “lived his whole life underground, and theres no collection of \[personal\] letters from him,” Stiles says. “All the evidence about him personally has to be delivered with a caveat, so that also means that hes more susceptible to revisions, and sometimes weird revisions. … Somebody is going to study, if they havent already, \[the connection\] between this kind of conspiracy theory approach to history in recent decades and peoples willingness to [believe that the election was stolen](https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2022/01/07/republicans-big-lie-trump/?itid=lk_inline_manual_22), for example — this belief in the sensational and conspiracies and hidden hands.”
Getler says he admires the work of Stiles and Keehn but thinks historians search for truth doesnt cover all the ground. “They dont get their hands dirty in the field as an archaeologist or even treasure people,” he says. “Theres no way to get at this history unless youre being a guy whos literally digging in the ground.” Getler insists his speculations are not a conspiracy theory; rather, they are a theory about a known conspiracy — the KGC — and pushing the theory in new directions. “Im the last person to say this is all neatly integrated, seamless. ... Its messy. Its suggestive. Much of it is not definitive. But theres enough there to make the case.”
Each of the trio of treasure hunters in Ohio was after something more elusive than gold. A bit of bullion would be nice, of course. They even discussed how they would document the discovery, should there be one. But any gold they dug up would be a token of something more personally priceless.
Getler, 61, a former reporter with the International Herald Tribune, the Wall Street Journal and other publications, was a senior writer for Discovery Communications in the late 1990s when he started researching the history. (Getler is the son of the late [Michael Getler](https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/obituaries/michael-getler-washington-post-editor-who-became-incisive-in-house-media-critic-dies-at-82/2018/03/15/a63d44ac-1fc7-11e8-94da-ebf9d112159c_story.html?itid=lk_inline_manual_26), who was a deputy managing editor and ombudsman at The Washington Post.) Thats when he met a veteran treasure hunter named Bob Brewer from Arkansas. Brewer, whod retired from a Navy career including combat service in Vietnam, believed that some elders in his extended family in the early 20th century had been “sentinels” guarding caches of supposed KGC gold. One had showed him a “treasure tree” scarred with strange carved symbols.
Brewer taught himself to read telltale signs left in trees and rocks — such as hearts, turtles and turkey tracks — and to follow lines of buried clues for miles through the hills and woods. Using his system, in 1991, in a hilly forest in western Arkansas, he located a cache of gold and silver coins minted between 1802 and 1889, with a face value of nearly $460. Two years later he assisted in another haul in Oklahoma, following a copy of a map with the symbol “JJ” and attributed to Jesse James by other treasure hunters.
Getler thought the implications of Brewers experiences — the existence of a powerful secret network after the Civil War — could be the biggest story of his career. It would add a missing chapter to American history and would raise the question of what became of the secret network. In the National Archives, Getler found KGC records with examples of the groups coded symbols. Brewer and he located other markings that old stories tied to the KGC on suspected treasure trails in several states. They also found symbols similar to those cited by Howk as having been left by James. In 2003, Simon & Schuster published their book “Shadow of the Sentinel” (retitled “[Rebel Gold](https://www.amazon.com/Rebel-Gold-Behind-Treasure-Confederacy/dp/0743219694)” for the paperback) with 21 pages of endnotes, about the quest to crack the code of KGC treasure.
The work inspired a new generation of KGC treasure hunters; even [the FBI joined the chase](https://www.washingtonpost.com/history/2021/06/28/fbi-civil-war-gold/?itid=lk_inline_manual_29). In 2018, a father-and-son treasure-hunting team said they had detected a large cache of gold in a forest at Dents Run in northwestern Pennsylvania: as much as $50 million in suspected gold stolen from a mule-led Union Army pack train in 1863. Citing Getlers KGC research, an FBI agent filed an affidavit seeking permission to dig up and seize the gold as stolen federal property. The story of the lost gold, the agent wrote in the affidavit, “fits the description of a KGC waybill as it provides a very detailed map in its telling of an account, mixing truth and symbols.”
In the end, the FBI said it found no gold. But the hunters grew suspicious when the agents wouldnt let them watch the excavation, and after residents later told reporters they had heard digging at night and seen convoys of FBI vehicles leaving the site. In response to a lawsuit filed by the treasure hunters, the agency has been ordered to start releasing documents related to the dig later this month.
Since the early 2000s, Getler has been an entrepreneur and worked in communications for tech companies, including an underground detection technology firm. Periodically in his spare time, he returns to KGC treasure investigations. “Hes got his teeth around the leg of this thing … and he just wont let it go,” Robert Whitcomb, Getlers former editor at the Herald Tribune, told me. “Hes always been a very, very persistent writer and journalist.”
One of Getlers closest friends, Andy Secher, a trilobite fossil specialist affiliated with the American Museum of Natural History in New York, says Getler always “had the idea that he had a great purpose. That there was something in his writing, in his future …. that was going to significantly impact a lot of people.” If exposing gold cached by a secret network is that decisive project, Secher says that he, for one, still needs to see proof its real. “From the bottom of my heart, I cant wish him more luck and every good tiding,” he says. “But the question becomes at some point, show me something. And I say that to him all the time.”
Getler told me he tries to approach the subject as the journalist he used to be. “Im not sitting here saying to people, Believe, believe, believe. It takes my own skepticism to be overcome to start feeling good about the overall picture,” he says. “You can dismiss it outright. You can chuckle at it. Or you can say, Hmmm, what if theres something rather profound here? And gold bars are a touchstone for it all.” Finding gold in Ohio would be a vindication, a demonstration that his theories are correct and that our understanding of history must be adjusted.
“Its become my legacy, its my lifes work,” he says. “You can kick me in the shins a million times: Warren, pull up a damn gold bar and prove it. Im as close as you possibly can be.”
Brad Richards, 52, the former history teacher from Michigan, told me that beyond recouping his expenses for two trips to Ohio, the gold means less than the possible contribution to history. “How many untold stories are out there?” he says. “It would be incredibly exciting to be a part of discovering and illuminating hidden history.” He adds that hes the “skeptical one.” “Im not big on looking at grainy video footage and being 100 percent certain on anything. ... Ive got to see it to believe it.”
Chad Somers, 43, the former bull rider, was raised in a speck of a rural crossroads called Purity, near the treasure site. When Somers was about 10, a neighbor his grandfather did some work for told the boy there was a rumor that James had buried gold down by a creek where the boy was headed to play. Somers vowed to find it.
After his bull-riding days in his 20s, he fell on hard times. He and his girlfriend, Hope Bowser, lived in a mobile-home park and paid the rent by doing maintenance, until they were evicted and lost everything, he told me. One day about four years ago, they found an old portrait at a yard sale that reminded them of Jesse and Frank James. An appraiser cast doubt on it being a photo of the brothers, so Somers started researching to try to authenticate the portrait himself, in order to sell it. “He was going to prove that Jesse James had been in Ohio,” Bowser told me. “Thats what started this whole thing.”
Bowser and one of her brothers co-owned about two dozen acres that included the forest on the steep hill overlooking the creek — the same creek Somers had visited as a boy of about 10. Any treasure found could be claimed by them. Local lore held that there had been a gold mine in the area a long time ago, and Somers began to wonder if the rumors of a gold mine and the rumors of outlaw gold were conflations of the same story. One day he announced to Bowser, “Im going to dig Jesse Jamess gold bars out of the side of your hill.”
He explored the forest, looking for a place to dig. He took a smoke break at one of the only flat places on the hillside, a narrow ledge beside a tree shaped like a W. Somers suddenly had what he described to me as a kind of vision that featured James, wearing an oilskin duster, smoking a cigar, announcing that he would bury his biggest treasure right here. Somers commenced digging.
> “Its become my legacy, its my lifes work,” says treasure hunter Warren Getler about his search to find gold that he believes was buried by Jesse James.
People around Purity laughed at him, thought he was wasting his time. When he needed money, he suspended digging to remodel houses or cut firewood. At one point he had made it down 30 feet — I saw a picture of him down there — and stood on what he thought could be the concrete top of a vault. To learn more about what he was looking for, he ordered Getler and Brewers book, and it became his bible. He brought it into the field with him every day as he scoured the territory for the kinds of markers and symbols that the authors described.
Late last year, he sent Getler a Facebook message about his preliminary findings. Getler had received similar queries and was wary. But when he heard how close Somers was to Zanesville, “He was like, Ill call you back, and weve been in very close touch ever since,” Somers says. Getler made an exploratory visit in December.
Somers saw the treasure hunt in the largest possible terms. “I think we can all agree that we need a little hope right now,” he told me on the phone, before I went to Ohio. “… I want people that really have nothing … to see what they can do. Im not saying everybody can go out and find a treasure like this, but Im saying that with the right mind-set and determination, the things they think are out of reach might be closer than they thought.”
Years ago, when I first discovered Getler and Brewers book on cracking the KGC code, I read portions of it aloud to my eldest daughter, then age 10. The way the authors described the American landscape itself as potentially being an encoded map, studded with clues that looked ordinary only to those lacking imagination and skill, was magical. My daughter was familiar with scavenger hunts, of course, and together we marveled at the possibility that more than a century ago people laid clues for anyone to find.
Now, in Ohio, as a journalist rather than as a dad, I was forced to confront whether the power of this story lay in its truth or its creativity — and I knew my job was to be on the lookout for signs the magic was an illusion.
All right, now the adventure begins,” Getler said on the first day of the hunt as we trudged a muddy half-mile across a field and through the woods to the site of the suspected treasure trove.
Richards, the former teacher from Michigan, and his son, Bradley, a high school freshman, were taking readings above the shaft with a deep-penetrating metal detector hooked up to a digital imaging system. Bradley tethered himself to a tree to run the machine on the unforgiving incline. “The data will show what the data will show,” Richards said as his son walked grids on the hill.
Getler led me down to look at the carvings on the beech trees. He said these offered some of the most promising evidence that this could be a treasure site. On one, hearts and arrows were tilted to point in the direction of the shaft. There were carved rabbits — “rabbit trails” being a reference to paths leading to treasure — and a pair of “Js” carved back-to-back, which, according to Jesse James treasure lore, depicts the outlaws initials. There was a diagram that Getler interpreted as a shaft with tunnels, and beside it was a portrait of a man with a broad brim hat and what could be a vault or a chest near where his heart should be.
Getler conceded that some of this could be graffiti left by lovers — initials, hearts and arrows — but thats how KGC treasure hieroglyphics tend to work, he said. Clues are hiding in plain sight, mixed intentionally or coincidentally with red herrings, he said. A further point of validation, he added, is that some of the symbology here in Ohio, such as the hearts and the “JJs,” matched that found at other suspected treasure sites out west.
He hurried me on to another elaborately carved tree where he said I would get to see Jamess signature. Getler had spotted it on his first visit in December. “When I saw his name on the tree, I trembled and tears came out of my eyes,” he recalled. The trees carvings told a story in three acts, he said, depicting how the group brought the gold up the creek, buried it and certified that the outlaw was their leader. But today the signature — “Jesse W. James 1882” — was invisible, and he didnt have a picture from December. It had been raining. Getler fingered the moist bark. “Damn it,” he said. “Its too wet.”
We returned to that beech each day, waiting for the bark to dry and for the signature to reappear. I was troubled that the symbology seemed so malleable, open to the creation of more than one story. The risk of confirmation bias — fitting the signs to a desired meaning — seemed enormous. But I also found that I was invested, too. One day I suddenly saw a long boat carved across the trunk of the signature tree. Getler hadnt known what to make of those horizontal lines that converged upward into a prow. He savored my addition to the story. “Maybe theyre saying they came by barge here?” Getler asked.
Other evidence that Getler and Somers relied on included a copy of a treasure map attributed to Howk — the alleged confidant or grandson of Jamess who had been on the 1949 Zanesville treasure hunt. The map is widely shared on the Internet in treasure-hunting circles, but I couldnt determine who first posted it, and Getler didnt know either. He had gone to the trouble of checking signed initials on the map against the handwriting in Howks letters in a Texas archive — but Howks veracity is dismissed by historians. I wasnt ready to trust the map, but Getlers and Somerss interpretation revealed how they approached the code breaking.
The map appeared to show geographical features of the Ohio property. If so, a “Confederate Depository” was indicated at the site where Somers started digging his shaft. But the map was labeled — Getler and Somers would say intentionally mislabeled — as describing a treasure site somewhere in Tennessee. Somers scrutinized faint hand-lettering at the top of the map that appeared to say “Battle Site.” He noticed the stem of the letter “B” was detached from the curves, which could make it “13.” And “attle” was written in such a way that could be read as “oHio.” Rather than “Battle Site,” did it say “13 Ohio Site,” with 13 coinciding with the plat number of the property? In addition, Somers and Getler proposed that when the map was turned to reflect the north-south direction of the creek in Ohio, the “N” in the locational note “From Nashville” could become the “Z” in “From Zanesville.”
The treasure hunters also cited a letter from Howk to another participant in the 1949 Zanesville treasure search. It referenced clues including an old shovel, a wagon iron and a wolf trap, and instructed, “Drive a stake at each point until we can run the lines\[;\] then where the lines cross is your solution.” Somers had uncovered a shovel, with the blade pointing toward the shaft, and a wagon axle, also pointing toward the shaft. He had yet to find a wolf trap.
> The risk of confirmation bias — fitting the signs to a desired meaning — seemed enormous. But I also found that I was invested, too.
I was pulling for Somers, Getler and Richards to be right about all this, despite what the historians said. It would be a more interesting world if they were, and it would give others the courage to challenge conventional wisdom. But before I could become a true believer, I needed to see if their narrative could withstand attempts to poke holes in it.
First, the beech trees. Could they really be that old? I had brought a tape measure with me. While the treasure hunters were taking metal-detector readings and exploring related sites, I measured the circumference of the trees that were pillars of their story. Earlier I had called Scott Aker, head of horticulture and education at the U.S. National Arboretum in Washington, for a briefing on the age of trees. He told me that, indeed, beech trees can grow to be hundreds of years old. Unfortunately, the surest ways to tell a trees age is to cut it down, or bore a hole into it, and count the rings.
However, one way some arborists estimate a beech trees age is to divide a trees circumference in inches by 3.14 (or pi) and multiply by six. By that method, three of the key trees range in age from about 130 to 170 years old, which would date them to the mid- to late 19th century. But the tree where Getler saw the signature would be only about 110 years old. Aker cast doubt on this method because it doesnt account for local growing conditions; the trees could easily be older — or younger. Results of my tree-measuring test: ambiguous.
I looked for neighbors of the Ohio site who might have family lore about James, in addition to the gold rumors Somers had heard. Lavina Nethers, 85, lives a short drive from the dig site. Sitting in her living room, she told me how her late husband, James Nethers, had been named for Jesse James and that his great-great-grandmother had regularly washed the outlaws clothes and given him a meal when he passed through the area. One day, “she told Jesse that she wouldnt be able to wash his clothes or take care of him when he comes through again. And he wanted to know why. She told him that they were going to foreclose on the farm the next day and she wouldnt be there. And he said, Dont worry about it; Ill take care of it. Ill see you tomorrow. He came back the next morning and had the money for her foreclosure. … The next day, the bank was robbed. She got to keep the farm and they got their money.”
A potential problem with Netherss testimony, though, is that stories about James paying off mortgages are legion. I was reminded of a verse by Woody Guthrie: “Many a starvin farmer / The same story told / How the outlaw paid their mortgage / And saved their little homes.” Guthrie was singing about Pretty Boy Floyd, not James, but paying off the mortgages of societys underdogs is an archetype of American outlaw legends, a refashioning of Robin Hood with a gun instead of a longbow.
Later I called Eric James, in Danville, Ky., who runs a Jesse James family website and genealogical database dedicated to documenting the family tree back to Colonial Virginia and correcting what he considers myths about the outlaw. Almost every week he gets a letter or email from people with old family stories about James. What is it about Jesse James that triggers a sense of connection in so many, real or imagined? “People need heroes,” says James, 79, whos writing a five-volume history of the James family, and whose research shows hes a distant cousin of Jesse James. “We dont have heroes today.”
To many in the James family, the outlaws legend has been a burden — including stories of buried treasure and periodic Hollywood glamorization, such as 2007s “The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford,” starring Brad Pitt. “Its been going on ever since Jesse was assassinated,” Eric James says. “And thanks to reality TV, its not going to stop in the near future or the next 100 years.” He adds: “The funny part about it is, all the James descendants would love for the treasure hunters to find the gold, because then we could claim the inheritance! … \[Or\] if they could prove it came from a bank or a railroad, that money could be claimed by ... the descendants of those corporations.”
I found myself wrestling with the tension between keeping an open mind and not being deluded. “What lies between skepticism and credulity?” I asked one morning, as Getler and I sat beside the shaft Somers had dug, while Brad and Bradley Richards took more detector readings to pick a spot to start drilling. “A straight skeptic might never find gold, and an overly credulous person might be faked out all the time and keep going, wanting to believe. … \[But\] belief is also an important part of the tool kit.”
“If you dont have that, you cant keep going,” Getler agreed. “Thats where I say ambiguity is our worst enemy. … And the sad part is, until you pull up bars of gold in Dents Run, or Ohio, or \[a third active site in\] New Mexico, its just, for some, a lot of hot air, or wild speculation, or some might even say a fools errand.”
Say what you will about tree carvings and treasure maps; its harder to argue with metal detectors. The Richardses had confirmed two fat targets near Somerss site, and a ground-penetrating radar survey later indicated other possible targets nearby. Getler conceded the devices they were using werent as sophisticated as the equipment that the FBI drew upon at Dents Run — he couldnt afford that technology here — but the Ohio technology *had* obtained readings at Dents Run consistent with the results that convinced the FBI to dig, he said. As I continued my cautious journey down the rope on that hopeful fourth day when digging was to begin and the hill would yield its secrets, my mind was still open to any possibility. Was I feeling treasure fever?
The rope delivered me safely to the ledge by the shaft, where I found Somers crouching beside his makeshift tunnel braces. Sun was glinting off the creek, a gossipy circle of wild turkeys faced us on the other side, and Somers was in a pensive mood. He was pretty sure he was about to become a rich man, and he had complicated feelings about that. It would lift him out of poverty and allow him to provide for his family and friends, but he knew gold could also be a curse. “At the end of this thing, I just want everybody involved to be able to sit down and smile and wrap our minds around what we have done … regardless of whether its in there,” he said, adding: “I mean, we kind of already know its in there.”
Somers couldnt help remarking that for all the fancy technology and theories that had been brought to bear, they were *still* digging right where, in his vision, Jesse James had told him to dig in the first place.
Getler hired a local equipment operator who began carving a switchback path that would allow his track hoe to descend the steep grade to the dig site. They worked on the road all day, filling the forest with the grinding sound of human intervention. By nightfall, the path was nearly done.
The next day began with two omens, one hopeful, one not so much. As the track hoe operator prepared to fell a dead tree and position the machine for the final assault on the treasure, Somers reached into the dirt at the base of the tree and found a T-shaped piece of metal. It was the same shape as the diagrams carved on two of the beech trees. The operators assistant identified it as a portion of an animal trap. Could this be the wolf trap spoken of in the letter between Zanesville treasure hunters in 1949 — or was it meaningless scrap? Any attempts to date the artifact would have to wait.
“Hey, Chad, nice find there, buddy,” Getler said. “After that, Im one step closer to believing its here, and if its not, Ill eat my words.”
Getler made a last visit to the beech trees. I sat with him on the ground and contemplated the carvings, wondering if the discoveries to come would confirm the story he thought the trees told. But Jesse Jamess signature was still invisible. Was the bark too wet — or had he even been here?
By days end, the track hoe finally reached the site. The sun was about to set, so Getler postponed digging until morning. Given that schedule, I thought I could depart the scene to give Hope Bowser a lift to the gas station because her car had run out of gas. While I was at the pump, I got a text message that the treasure digging had begun anyway — and something dramatic was happening. I was out of position, a reporters worst nightmare. I raced back to the site and later reconstructed a few moments that I missed via interviews and video that I reviewed.
Somers rode the excavators shovel down into the hole and started opening what he thought looked like a passage deeper into the hill. “Tunnel, tunnel!” exclaimed Getler, standing on a berm above the hole. “If they confirm a tunnel, Im going to start hugging everyone.”
Suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, an angry man stalked onto the scene. He ordered the digging to halt and everyone to leave the property.
Bowser identified him as one of her brothers, though not the one she said co-owned the property with her. But the co-owner soon contacted her as well and let her know he disapproved of digging for alleged gold with a track hoe and cutting a road to get to the site. The brothers had been taken by surprise by the amount of disruption to the property, and it was clear that at least some members of Bowsers family considered the treasure hunt a deluded fantasy.
We left. I felt as though a spell had been broken. The cold reality of family drama made the treasure hunt seem like a game that made sense only if you were in on it. It dawned on me that, in spite of ourselves, we had arrived at that most predictable juncture in a treasure narrative: the moment of reconciling with the absence of treasure.
But treasure narratives have infinite powers of regeneration. Gold hadnt been found — but neither had an empty hole. Within several days, after Getler, the Richardses and I had left Ohio, members of Bowsers family relented. One told me, on the condition that I not publish his name because of his job, that stories of gold on the property go back decades. In the 1950s, a man dug for gold there for years. He probably thought the gold had been buried, because mineralogists have determined the area is not suited for naturally occurring gold, the family member said. But the digger apparently never found anything.
The family allowed the hunt for Jesse Jamess gold to continue, on the condition that it be conducted less invasively. Somers began excavating by hand, crawling into tunnels and voids. He snaked a camera deeper into the hill, and as this story was going to press, he was sending back images that he and Getler interpreted as signs of objects and tool work.
For the time being, though, that thing more precious than gold that each of the treasure hunters was seeking continued to elude them. I hadnt found what I was looking for, either — something solid to hold on to in this swirl of legend, fact and fantasy; a final verdict. These days, certainty may be the most out-of-reach treasure of all.
*David Montgomery is a staff writer for the magazine. Staff researchers Alice Crites, Magda Jean-Louis, Jennifer Jenkins, Monika Mathur and Razzan Nakhlawi contributed to this story.*
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# Disaster at 18,200 feet
None of them noticed the fall. One moment, Adam Rawski was with them on the mountain. The next, he was gone.
It was May 24, 2021, around Day 15 of their trek up Denali, North America's tallest peak. There was Grant Wilson and Sarah Maynard, Alaska natives and close friends since high school who were now in their early 20s; Rawski, a 31-year-old clean technology executive from Canada, who had befriended them on the mountain a week earlier; and Dr. Jason Lance, a 48-year-old radiologist from Utah who had paired up with Rawski at the last minute after both of their climbing partners turned back.
The four had hoped to summit that day. But Rawski was exhausted and showing signs of altitude sickness. He couldn't go any further. Just over a thousand feet from the summit, they had no choice but to stop and turn back.
Now on the descent, at around 18,200 feet, they had just crossed Denali Pass, a relatively flat, open snowfield with sweeping views of the Alaska Range and surrounding wilderness. In front of them lay the Autobahn, a notoriously dangerous icy slope that descends 1,000 feet. At least 13 deadly falls have been recorded here since 1980.
The Autobahn's terrain can vary from rock solid ice to several feet of snow. If climbers lose their footing and fall, there's nothing to slow their momentum and prevent a fast and almost certainly fatal tumble down the slope. It's said some German climbers died at this spot years ago, which is how it became known as the Autobahn — as in, Germany's highway with no speed limit.
Perhaps the most dangerous thing about the Autobahn is that it doesn't *look* very dangerous. It's steep enough to cause climbers to fall with great speed, but not so steep that all climbers exercise proper caution. The park service strongly encourages roping up with protection at this spot, but every year, teams ignore that advice. If the slope was just a bit steeper, it's likely fewer climbers would take the risk.
Most falls on the Autobahn happen on the descent, when climbers are exhausted, having just pushed for the summit after two weeks on the unforgiving mountain, perhaps slightly impaired by the effects of altitude, and quite possibly a little cocky from having made it this far. 
Despite his condition, Rawski was not roped up. Standing at the top of the Autobahn, the others had scattered a bit. Wilson had stepped out of sight for a bathroom break. Maynard was slightly downhill from Lance. 
And then, Rawski was gone.
As Maynard would tell me later, her mind raced through the possibilities: "Is he so hypoxic that he is taking his clothes off and wandering around? Is he so delusional that he's going for another summit attempt? Does his stomach hurt so bad that he's puking somewhere or just huddled up?"
Then she heard Lance: "Oh, fuck." She followed his eyes down to the bottom of the Autobahn, 1000 feet below. There, Rawski's body in his bright blue puffer was lying, motionless.
It was quiet, with no wind. But Maynard hadn't heard a thing. "That's what was so spooky and haunting," she said. "I didn't hear his ice axe hit the ground. I didn't hear his body tumble. I didn't hear a yelp from him."
Maynard and Wilson huddled under a rock, all but certain their friend was dead. They held each other, and cried.
Amazingly, Rawski didn't die that day. He's one of the only climbers known to have survived a fall down the Autobahn. But that's not where the story ends. What none of them knew then was that six months later, one of them would be criminally charged and brought before a judge — and they'd all have to relive the worst day of their lives.
## The Great Outdoors
When throngs of novice adventurers take on challenges without the proper training or expertise, disaster often follows — which is part of the story of what happened on Denali last May.
Visits to America's national parks have exploded in recent years as more and more people seek out wild, majestic places to visit and color their Instagram feeds. More than 600,000 people came to Denali National Park in 2019, a 65% increase from 2000. Things were quiet in 2020 due to COVID-19, but by 2021 the mountain was nearly as busy as before the pandemic, with 1,007 climbers attempting to summit.
Shortly after Rawski's fall, Denali's park rangers, all of them expert mountaineers, took the extraordinary step of publishing a finger-wagging [report](https://www.nps.gov/dena/blogs/troubling-trends.htm). "We have seen a disturbing amount of overconfidence paired with inexperience in the Alaska Range," they said, warning climbers that mountaineering in the Lower 48 doesn't necessarily prepare you for the high-altitude and extreme conditions of the Alaskan wilderness.
![A clear morning view of Denali from inside the national park.](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 1 1'%3E%3C/svg%3E)
A clear morning view of Denali from inside the national park.
C. Fredrickson Photography/Getty Images
Denali soars 20,310 feet above sea level and, for some mountaineers, is considered a stepping stone to Mount Everest (though without the help of Sherpas). Its official title was changed from Mt. McKinley in 2015, when Denali, the name given to the mountain by Alaskan Natives — meaning "the tall one" or "the great one" — was restored.
The peak is located among 6 million acres of protected wilderness. To reach the mountain, climbers hop on a small plane in Talkeetna, a tiny town south of the park, and fly over 75 miles of terrain that changes from lush greenery to jagged granite and snow-covered slopes.
They're dropped off at Denali's base camp, located on the Kahiltna Glacier, at 7,200 feet elevation — already 1,000 feet higher than Mount Washington, the tallest peak of New Hampshire's White Mountains. From there, the expedition to the summit and back usually takes 17 to 21 days.
Typically only about half of the climbers attempting Denali every year will reach the summit. Determining whether or not a climber is prepared to take on Denali is difficult even for rangers and guides.
Temperatures can dip below -40 degrees Fahrenheit. Climbers face snow storms, freezing rain, 100 mph winds, and blazing sunlight. The gear weighs over 100 pounds and includes clothes, tents, stoves, skis, or snowshoes, crampons, protective equipment, and a sled to haul it all. Climbers take on steep vertical grades and glacier travel, during which they can encounter crevasses that go hundreds of feet deep into the ice — and that's all on top of the sheer physical challenge of climbing a mountain at an altitude few humans ever experience.
![Base Camp on the Kahiltna Glacier in Denali National Park. Mountaineers climbing Denali, the highest mountain in North America, are dropped off here by ski planes, visible in photo.](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 1 1'%3E%3C/svg%3E)
Base Camp on the Kahiltna Glacier in Denali National Park. Mountaineers climbing Denali, the highest mountain in North America, are dropped off here by ski planes, visible in photo.
Getty Images
There are specific skill sets climbers should have, like snow and ice climbing, glacier travel, cold-weather camping, and exceptional cardiovascular fitness. But even then, it is hard to gauge if a person is ready.
The most basic measure for whether or not a climber is prepared — physically, technically, psychologically — for a Denali expedition is straightforward: Would you attempt what you are doing if you were alone on this mountain?
If the answer is no, you shouldn't be there.
## A shared passion
Maynard and Wilson teamed up to tackle Denali in late 2020.
The two were high school classmates in Fairbanks, the largest and coldest city in Alaska's Interior region and the closest city to Denali. It's known for being one of the best places to see the northern lights, and for long summer days when the sun never sets.
They both ran cross country, traveling with the team to faraway meets on weekends, and were part of a large friend group of cross country skiers. But they bonded most over their shared passion for mountaineering.
They stayed close even after Maynard moved to Montana to get a degree in exercise science and work as a ski instructor, keeping up with each other's adventures through texts and social media, and planned excursions whenever their schedules aligned. Whenever Maynard returned home to Alaska, she'd check in with Wilson. "I'm always trying to get invited on his adventures because he stays busy," she said.
![](data:image/svg+xml,%3C%3Fxml version='1.0' encoding='UTF-8'%3F%3E%3Csvg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' width='1066' height='800'/%3E)
Sarah Maynard and Grant Wilson on Denali. Sarah Maynard
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Grant Wilson and Sarah Maynard on Denali. Sarah Maynard
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Wilson has lived in Alaska his whole life. When not climbing, skiing, surfing, or recreating outdoors in some capacity, he worked as a commercial fisherman in Bristol Bay.
"I grew up winter camping with my family and doing wintertime hunting and all these things that I feel like was preparation leading up to this Denali climb," Wilson told me. 
They had both skied pristine backcountry landscapes and conquered peaks in Alaska and elsewhere. They had lots of training with rope systems, including on past climbs and through courses. Neither had much experience above 14,000 feet.
But having grown up in Alaska, Denali always loomed large. It's a famously challenging expedition for any mountaineer, but, more than that, it's their home mountain.
"My grandpa used to take me out of school on bluebird days" — clear, sunny days that follow a night of snowfall, Maynard told me. "He's a pilot and he would fly me around Denali."
"One time he got close enough that you could see the climbers. And I remember that moment just being like, 'Wow.'"
## Base Camp
In early May of 2021, Maynard and Wilson finally stepped out onto Kahiltna Glacier.
The plan was to tackle the West Buttress, Denali's most popular, and least technical, route. It's a 15-mile journey to the summit, gaining more than 13,000 feet in elevation along the way. 
As with the other camps higher up the mountain, base camp has room for dozens of tents but no physical infrastructure.
From camp to camp, climbers make their way up the mountain in strategic bursts. Moving too quickly can be dangerous. Climbers will take full days to wait out bad weather, rest, and acclimatize to the higher altitudes as the air gets thinner and thinner.
There's also some essential backtracking. To lighten the load they're carrying, climbers will bury some of their gear in the snow, marking it with a flag, and then double back for it once they've set up camp higher up the mountain.
![](data:image/svg+xml,%3C%3Fxml version='1.0' encoding='UTF-8'%3F%3E%3Csvg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' width='1066' height='800'/%3E)
A view of Grant Wilson and Sarah Maynard's camp on the Kahiltna Glacier, 7,200 feet, after a late start in the day and poor visibility. Grant Wilson
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A relaxing day at Denali's 14 camp, where elite mountaineers mingle with those rolling into camp with little to no experience. Grant Wilson
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When the mountain is busy, especially in late spring when there's near round-the-clock sunlight, the camps come alive, forming makeshift towns. Killing time at the camps is part of the experience, and can involve kicking around a hacky sack, doing yoga, or getting to know other climbers.
One morning, still early on the route, Maynard and Wilson were flying kites when they first met Adam Rawski. 
Rawski, tall with dark hair, was about a decade older and lived on Canada's west coast. He worked as the VP of finance at a clean technology company in Vancouver, and spent as much time as he could in the wilderness. "Backcountry skiing, downhill mountain biking, rock climbing, ice climbing," he would tell me later. "You name it, I would do it." 
After climbing most major peaks in the Pacific Northwest — including Mount Rainier, which at 14,417 feet, is considered a precursor to Denali — he decided to take on "the great one." He had come to Alaska with a fellow climber from back home. 
Rawski was a friendly presence at the camps, going out of his way to meet other climbers. "I would just walk around and say hi to people," he said.
![](data:image/svg+xml,%3C%3Fxml version='1.0' encoding='UTF-8'%3F%3E%3Csvg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' width='1067' height='800'/%3E)
Adam Rawski on a prior adventure. Adam Rawski
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Adam Rawski on a prior adventure. Adam Rawski
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He and his partner started out around the same time as Maynard and Wilson, so the teams were moving up the mountain at a similar pace. During rest periods, Rawski would join them for a game of cards. One day, when Maynard and Wilson needed butter, Rawski gave them some of his. "We made friends with him pretty quickly," Maynard told me.
When they reached 14 Camp — one of two potential launching pads to take the summit — there was a problem: Rawski's partner had decided to pull out.
## A new partner for the upper mountain
At 14,200 feet — just shy of the height of Mount Whitney, the highest peak in the Lower 48 — 14 Camp marks the start of what rangers call the upper mountain. From here, the weather gets even more unpredictable and climbers are more likely to face relentless whiteout conditions — as well as unbearable wind, altitude sickness, frostbite, or hypothermia.
Many climbers reach 14 Camp and decide not to go any further. 
Others, eager to minimize the time spent lugging heavy equipment in this increasingly desolate and punishing environment, store their gear here and — skipping the final resting spot, High Camp, at 17,200 feet — make their final push to the summit. 
This goes against park rangers' recommendation. Climbers who do not have prior experience above 14,000 feet in arctic conditions have "no real conception of how their body will respond to such stresses," they explained in the report published days after Rawski's fall. "There are very few mountaineers capable of moving fast enough to accomplish this safely." 
Setting up camp at High Camp gives climbers more time to acclimate to the higher elevation and makes for a shorter trek to and from Denali's summit. Despite this, the report said, more climbers were choosing the more dangerous route of trying to summit from 14 Camp.
![Sarah Maynard making her way along the 16,000 ft ridge of Denali during an early morning attempt to reach the summit.](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 1 1'%3E%3C/svg%3E)
Sarah Maynard making her way along the 16,000 ft ridge of Denali during an early morning attempt to reach the summit.
Grant Wilson
The issue had been compounded, the rangers said, by the reshuffling that's all too common at 14 Camp. Climbers who want to continue even after their teammates bow out end up forming new teams. (The risk of a crevasse fall, sickness, or serious accident are too high to make solo climbing a safe option.)
But team dynamics is one of the biggest factors impacting safety and success on a Denali expedition. Strangers won't know the skill level or risk tolerance of their teammates, or be able to spot when the other person is sick or exhausted. "In many cases, these determined climbers end up forming loose coalitions with other individuals who they have just met for the first time and who are equally summit-driven," the report said.
"Collectively, this is a recipe for disaster."
This was the position that Rawski found himself in that day. He heard that Jason Lance, a military vet who had served in Afghanistan and a father of four from Mountain Green, Utah, was also looking for a partner. The two teamed up and decided to push for the summit the next day. (Lance declined multiple interview requests from Insider and did not respond to a detailed list of questions.)
"It was a very last-minute, hasty decision," Rawski later said.
"In hindsight, probably not the best idea."
## Summit day: 'Push through it and get by'
A few hours after midnight on May 24, Rawski and Lance left 14 Camp and set off for the summit. Aided by the almost constant daylight, they figured the early start would give them enough time to summit and capitalize on the clear weather.
A couple hours later, Maynard and Wilson also set off from 14 Camp. At around 9 a.m., they stopped to rest at High Camp and ran into Rawski and Lance.
Immediately it was clear to them that Rawski was not himself. He was quiet, dehydrated, and had diarrhea. Another team that was staying at High Camp was boiling snow into potable water for Rawski to drink.
Rawski told me he remembers being dehydrated and exhausted, but at the time didn't think his condition was especially worrisome. "I've been tired in that sort of situation before in the past. So I was sort of like, 'Push through it and get by.'"
Maynard and Wilson — who were meeting Lance for the first time — both said they wondered if Rawski was better off turning back, but decided it wasn't their place to push it.
"When somebody's that sick, you don't continue with the original plan." Wilson told me later. "Jason Lance, as his partner that day, should have made some serious adjustments to their plan knowing how dehydrated Adam was."
After some time resting at High Camp, Lance and Rawski resumed the climb, as did Maynard and Wilson.
![Adam Rawski finishing a dangerously exposed portion of the climb known as the Autobahn.](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 1 1'%3E%3C/svg%3E)
Adam Rawski finishing a dangerously exposed portion of the climb known as the Autobahn.
Grant Wilson
At 18,200 feet, Maynard and Wilson stopped at Denali Pass and took a minute to enjoy the breathtaking views. "We were kind of geeking out, looking around and going, 'Oh my gosh, there's the Hayes Range' and 'Oh, there's Hunter,'" Maynard said. "It was really cool, being from Alaska, to just kind of be on top and see all the ranges that we recreate in."
A short while later, Maynard and Wilson caught up to Rawski and Lance. 
Lance motioned to them to huddle up. Turning to Maynard, he suggested that she and Rawski turn back together, and that Lance and Wilson continue up the mountain as a pair. As Maynard remembers it, Lance said, "Sarah, I see you've slowed down. Why don't you take Adam down? Why don't you guide him down and Grant and I can go for the summit."
She and Wilson were incredulous. This was *their* mountain. Who was Lance, not even an Alaskan, to boss them around, Wilson told me later. "It was like, dude, look, we're young, but we're not idiots here."
But even as they shut the idea down, they were getting increasingly concerned about Rawski. He was clearly out of it but still saying he wanted to keep going. "Was I experiencing symptoms of altitude sickness? Maybe, I just couldn't realize it myself," Rawski told me later.
So, they kept going, letting Rawski set the pace. Wilson later described it as a "zombie march."
Then, according to Maynard and Wilson, Lance started moving faster, slowly pushing ahead of the group. "We stayed on either side of Adam, and Jason just got farther and farther and farther ahead, until he disappeared over a little pass," Wilson said. "It wasn't verbalized. There was no discussion involved. It was quite obvious what was going on." 
Lance was ditching them with his partner and going for a solo summit attempt.
Lance later disputed this account, saying he went up ahead in hopes of waving down another team, climbers Maynard knew from Montana. But Maynard said he didn't say that at the time and, in any event, she was in radio contact with her friends.
I asked Rawski about whether or not he felt Lance had abandoned him. "I don't really feel like he abandoned me too much," Rawski said. Lance, he said, "just felt like more of that sort of lone wolf who wanted to make it to the summit, no matter how, whether it be solo or with the group." 
At 19,200 feet, .2 miles from the summit, Maynard and Wilson decided they had to turn back. Lance was out of sight, Rawski was in bad shape, and they too were starting to slow down.
But first, the three of them paused to look around and take it all in, their high point on Denali. "For the first time in the day, Adam kind of seemed like himself for a little bit. He asked us to take some videos of him," Wilson said.
Rawski wanted to take a video for his girlfriend. Maynard remembered him playfully shouting out his love from the highest point on the continent.
"I was able to look back and see my hometown, where I've seen Denali on the horizon for most of my life," Wilson said. "That was a really amazing feeling."
## The fall
Maynard guided Rawski as the three climbers began their descent. Around every 100 feet, Rawski would have to sit down, and his stomach hurt so badly that he wasn't able to eat or drink anything, Maynard and Wilson said.
By the time they reached Denali Pass, Lance — having apparently abandoned his own summit attempt — caught back up with them. Maynard and Wilson figured they would return to their original configuration: Maynard and Wilson, Rawski and Lance.
Ahead of them lay the Autobahn.
To catch themselves in the case of a fall, climbers jam long, T-shaped pieces of metal called pickets several feet into the ice or snow. They secure a carabiner to the picket, run a rope through it, and attach the rope to their harness. If they trip, the rope goes taut and breaks the fall.
Once again, they were going against the advice of Denali's park rangers. Maynard and Wilson planned to ski down the Autobahn, during which they would not use ropes. But Lance and Rawski planned to down climb it, traversing at a downward angle. They were not roped into protection.
"We had the rope. We had the pickets. We had our carabiners. We had everything," Rawski said. "But from what I recall, Jason was in a bit more of a rush to get down there. So I think we decided to opt out of roping up." 
In hindsight, he said, this was clearly a mistake. At the time he weighed the benefits and risks and decided not to waste time arguing.
![Climbers taking on the exposed headwall above 14 Camp.](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 1 1'%3E%3C/svg%3E)
Climbers taking on the exposed headwall above 14 Camp. Rangers and volunteers fix lines for climbers to offer protection. In the event that a climber stumbles, the lines will arrest the fall.
Grant Wilson
Ironically, it's the less experienced climbers on Denali who are more likely to descend the Autobahn without the protection of ropes.
Tucker Chenoweth, Denali's South District ranger who oversees rescues on Denali, told me he would never do that section of the climb without protection. In his experience, climbers who have mastered rope skills won't think twice about using them "because it's not a hindrance to them."
"But if you're not good at it, then it's a pain," he said. Indeed, no one who has died on the Autobahn was roped up with protection.
There was also the matter of altitude. 
"Altitude can give you a somewhat intoxicated feeling, where things don't seem as important as they are," Chenoweth told me. "Even if you're climatized, you're feeling the effects of altitude sickness that challenges not only your physical ability, but your decision-making ability." 
At this point, Maynard was positioned slightly lower on the pass than Lance. She clipped herself into a picket before grabbing her skis. Wilson was briefly out of sight after just stepping away from the group to go to the bathroom.
Lance was standing a bit higher and around a slight ledge.
Maynard was pulling on her skis when all of a sudden Lance shouted down to her: "Where's Adam?"
"I thought he was climbing up to you," Maynard said. At first they thought maybe he had also gone to the bathroom, but when Wilson returned a few minutes later he was alone.
"That's the hard part about splitting partners," Wilson would tell me. "It's like, 'Whose problem is this incapacitated climber? We're handing him back off now, who's taking care of him?'"
They started calling out for Rawski: "Adam! Adam! Where'd you go?"
Lance was the one who spotted him, lying at the bottom of the Autobahn some 1,000 feet below. It didn't seem possible that he could have survived. Wilson thought he was going to puke.
Lance was carrying Rawski's Garmin inReach, a satellite communications device, and used it to request a rescue crew.
From the top of the Autobahn, there was nothing more they could do for Rawski. And they still had to get themselves down safely.
## A risky rescue
Guides at High Camp who saw the fall alerted the park service within seconds of Rawski landing at the bottom of the Autobahn. 
Helicopter pilot Andy Hermansky was sitting at Base Camp, twiddling his thumbs, when he got the call. He wouldn't normally be there. The helicopter would normally be parked in Talkeetna. But he had flown a team of scientists up to take some glacial samples and was just waiting for them.
Hermansky made a quick stop at 14 Camp to pick up Chris Erickson, a Denali ranger and law enforcement officer who was on the mountain. In the more than ten years they worked together on Denali, the two teamed up on many rescues. They'd become close friends, hanging out even in the off-season and attending each other's birthday parties.
The average response time for a rescue helicopter can be several hours. But between the good luck of Rawski falling in full view of High Camp, the helicopter being close by, and the skilled maneuvering of the rescue team, this rescue happened with extraordinary speed — which is very likely why Rawski is alive to talk about it. 
![Helicopter hovers in Denali National Park with Mt. Hunter in the background.](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 1 1'%3E%3C/svg%3E)
A ranger waiting to be picked up by a helicopter in Denali National Park. Rangers patrol the mountain between Base Camp and the summit. Helicopter rescues are called only if there's a direct threat to life, limb, or eyesight.
Menno Boermans/Getty Images
The environment on the upper mountain is inherently dangerous for helicopters, and there wasn't a flat surface close to Rawski to allow for a regular landing. Instead, Hermansky decided to try a high-risk maneuver that's common in snowy mountain terrains.
Hovering near Rawski, Hermansky carefully lowered the helicopter so only the front part of the skids were touching the ground, while the back parts remained in the air. The helicopter blades chopped through the air just a few feet from the ground. Hermansky gave Erickson a quick nod, signaling conditions were safe enough to go through with the rescue.
With the helicopter in that position, Erickson slowly crawled out onto the skids, careful not to make a sudden weight transfer that would cause Hermansky to lose control, and then onto the ground.
Within 30 minutes of Rawski's fall, Erickson was at his side — "frankly shocked," Erickson would tell me later, to find Rawski alive.
"I fully expected him to be dead," Erickson said. 
He motioned to a mountain guide — also a friend of his — who had seen the fall from High Camp and trekked over. Together, the two of them did an overhead body press and were able to load Rawski into the helicopter. 
Erickson carefully climbed back in, and they were off.
"I've dealt with colder rescues. I've dealt with windier rescues, I've dealt with rescues at a higher elevation," Erickson would say later.
But the thing that made this rescue exceptional? Time.
## 'Can't descend safely. Patients in shock.'
Up at the top of the Autobahn, time was working against Rawski's climbing companions. Around 16 hours had now passed since Maynard and Wilson set off from 14 Camp, which was a long time to spend at such high altitude. They were exhausted. 
As Wilson, Maynard, and Lance watched the rescue from atop Denali Pass, they were also in a state of disbelief. 
Wilson remembers thinking that the helicopter, hovering so far below, almost looked like a toy. "We were just trying to comprehend that they were loading our friend's body onto a helicopter," he said.
When Lance proposed calling in another rescue — this one for the three of them — Maynard and Wilson said they considered it. "Of course we were like, 'Yeah, I want a rescue. We just watched someone die. Maybe the slope is too unsafe to down climb,'" Maynard said.
But they quickly snapped out of it. "No one's coming for us," she remembers Wilson saying, with so much emotion. "We have to get ourselves down."
Lance was set on a rescue. "I paid the climbing fee. I paid for this rescue," he kept saying, according to Maynard and Wilson. (A permit to climb Denali costs $395. The fee goes towards training and maintaining ranger and volunteer patrols on the mountain, providing critical mountaineering information to climbers, and keeping the area clean.) 
Lance sent a message to a third-party emergency response service, saying that, while none of them were injured, they didn't have the necessary equipment to descend. Rawski had fallen with the pickets. (The park service unofficially maintains pickets on the Autobahn, but climbers are told not to rely on them and be prepared to place their own.)
A reply came back, saying he should contact the park service directly. He did that next. 
"The helicopter cannot come to your location and is not flying any more tonight," the park service replied. "Do you have a rope with you? Your only option tonight is descent." 
Lance persisted. "Cant decend safely," he wrote. "Patients in shock. Early hypothermia. Cant you land east of pass?"
This wasn't true. Neither Maynard and Wilson were in medical shock or hypothermic, and they said they never suggested to Lance that they were. They were getting colder, especially after standing around for so long, and wanted to start descending, but Lance refused. 
Maynard and Wilson have estimated that they spent a total of three hours in that spot, trying to convince Lance to down climb with them. When they finally said they were leaving, with or without Lance, he agreed to go.
From High Camp, guides could see the trio descending and radioed Erickson.
Lance's message had in fact gotten the rangers' attention. The park service is explicit that climbers must be self-sufficient and stresses that a rescue should only be requested in the case of a direct threat to life, limb, or eyesight. Even then, a rescue is not guaranteed, as rescuer safety is a top priority. It's not uncommon for the park service to turn down a rescue request.
But Lance's message made their situation sound like a true emergency, since medical shock can be fatal. Lance, a radiologist, would likely know that.
It was too dangerous to attempt a helicopter rescue at the top of the Autobahn, so Erickson had dispatched a helicopter to drop off supplies for them to set up camp where they were.
Unbeknownst to Lance, Maynard, and Wilson, a helicopter was on its way when they finally budged from their location. But since rangers' protocol is that climbers are never told to expect a helicopter — doing so could make a dangerous situation worse, and climbers have died waiting around for a promised rescue — they assumed all they could do was start down climbing.
Maynard and Wilson described the two hours the group spent descending the Autobahn essentially as a rescue of Lance. They both said he didn't appear to have a handle on rope skills, and that he kept leaving far too much slack in the lines in between them. Maynard, concerned for their safety, kept shouting at Lance to keep the rope tight.
When they finally arrived at High Camp sometime after 10 p.m., Denali guides greeted them with food and camping gear. But the next chapter of their ordeal was just beginning.
Maynard and Wilson said they listened, flabbergasted, as Lance told the guides how the two Alaskans had been in serious need of a rescue. But, between their exhaustion and the fact that they still had to share a tent with him that night, they didn't bother correcting him.
![Jason Lance in the tent with mountain guides who had provided him, Sarah Maynard, and Grant Wilson with food and shelter at High Camp after their ordeal.](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 1 1'%3E%3C/svg%3E)
Jason Lance in the tent with mountain guides who had provided him, Sarah Maynard, and Grant Wilson with food and shelter at High Camp after their ordeal.
Grant Wilson
The next day, Erickson met them at 14 Camp and questioned them about what had happened. Maynard and Wilson said they were not in shock or hypothermic on Denali Pass. When Erickson asked Lance about this, Lance — according to Erickson — insisted that as a doctor he would recognize signs of hypothermia before the climbers and that he "did not need to be lectured on hypothermia."
When Erickson asked Lance to hand over Rawski's personal items, including his inReach device, Lance retreated into his tent. It would later be alleged that Lance had used this time to delete the original message where he said the group required equipment, but not medical attention. After several requests from Erickson, Lance eventually handed over the device.
The three were told they were free to return to the base of the mountain. Maynard and Wilson avoided Lance the rest of the descent.
## Lance's story
On November 9 — six months after the climb — Lance was charged with three misdemeanor counts: violating a lawful order of a government employee, interfering with a rescue operation, and making a false report.
The prosecutor said Lance's actions displayed a "selfishness and indifference to the scarcity of public safety and rescue resources that is unacceptable anywhere, let alone on the tallest peak in North America."
In April, in exchange for pleading guilty to the first count, the other two charges were dropped. Lance was banned from Denali for five years and ordered to pay $10,000 — half to the government, half as a charitable donation to the nonprofit Denali Rescue Volunteers.
Appearing in court on the day of Lance's sentencing, Wilson and Erickson both gave extensive testimony about everything that happened that day on Denali — how Lance had pushed ahead, how he'd behaved toward Rawski, despite his fragile state. Even though the charges related to Lance's actions *after* Rawski's fall, it was clear that Lance's behavior throughout the last leg of their climb was of interest to the court.
Finally, it was Lance's turn to address the court. And, naturally, he painted a very different picture of himself than the one the others had presented. 
He opened by saying the day's events had been "life-changing" "You know, life-changing for me and, you know, tragic in Adam's case."
Lance insisted he always had the group's safety at top of mind. When he separated from the others on the ascent, he said he was just trying to get a good vantage point to wave down another team for help.
"I had no intention of summiting and ditching the party," he said.
After Rawski's fall, and as they tried to collect themselves atop Denali Pass, he said that the three of them, himself included, were experiencing emotional trauma. It reminded him of being in Afghanistan during his 14 years in the military.
"We would see people come in being shot or witnessing bombings, IED explosions, and whatnot. And it was not uncommon to see people who had witnessed a traumatic event go into psychological shock. And that's clearly what was going on here," he said.
His immediate concern was that Rawski had fallen with the pickets, and said that was why he had first radioed for help. He said communicating on the clunky satellite device was like typing into a cell phone from the 1990s. As the hours passed, he said, his concerns about shock and hypothermia were genuine.
"I had to make a choice, based on what information we had," Lance said, adding that Maynard and Wilson are the same age as his kids. "If my kids were up here with somebody else, what would I have them do? I was reluctant to make that descent until I had exhausted every other means of getting us safely off there."
Ultimately, Lance realized the helicopter wasn't coming, and that they could either sit there and freeze to death or make a risky descent. "Make no mistake, that descent was unsafe," he said.
When I asked Erickson what he made of Lance's defense, or the idea that his decision-making at that altitude could not be trusted, he didn't buy it. He said rangers work in those conditions everyday, often making high-stakes decisions.
"We're not superheroes," he said. "We don't acclimatize better or worse than anyone else."
As for the charge he pleaded guilty to — violating Erickson's order to hand over the inReach device — Lance said it wasn't clear to him it was an official request and that, either way, he felt he needed it for the remainder of his descent, for safety reasons, even though the device was Rawski's.
Lance claimed his interactions with Erickson amounted to a clash of personalities, and that Erickson simply wasn't interested in hearing his thoughts on how the park service could handle things better. "I was tired. I was stressed. And, frankly, I just — I didn't want to really talk to him," Lance said.
While Lance stopped short of apologizing, he said he hopes in the future in situations like this he "would have kind of a cooler head."
![Early morning sunrise on the Alaska Range. Denali's "summit shadow" (left) casting over the Kahiltna and Mt. Foraker (right), North America's sixth tallest peak.](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 1 1'%3E%3C/svg%3E)
Early morning sunrise on the Alaska Range. Denali's "summit shadow" (left) casting over the Kahiltna and Mt. Foraker (right), North America's sixth tallest peak.
Grant Wilson
## The aftermath
When they made it off Denali, Maynard and Wilson visited the hospital in Anchorage. Rawski was unconscious in the ICU and it fell on them to tell his loved ones what happened. Instead of flowers, they left a stick of butter at his bedside — a wink at how Rawski had helped them out early in the climb.
Rawski was in a coma for two months. He had broken ribs, collapsed lungs, fractured spinal bones, a broken talus and humerus, and nerve damage in his arm. 
When he finally emerged from the coma and learned what happened — he says he can remember everything up to about five minutes before the fall — he felt like he was reading about another person. "You're like, 'Oh, what an amateur. They didn't know what they were doing,'" he told me. "'The Adam I know would never do that.'"
After seven months in the hospital, he was released in December, but the road to recovery is long.
In the months since, his walking has improved substantially, and he can even muster a "very awkward jog." He hopes to get back to being the active, outdoorsy person he was before the fall, but he's not sure what exactly that will look like.
"I think the most difficult thing was, in the past year, my whole identity was changed," he said, again switching into the third person narrator of his story: "The biggest thing was just sort of accepting that changed identity and trying to pretty much redefine who Adam should be."
Maynard and Wilson have also spent the last 14 months working through what went wrong on the mountain that day.
"I was passionate about guiding before and now, more than ever," Wilson said. "I feel called to be on the mountain… making sure that the same things don't happen that happened to Adam."
Maynard went through months of therapy to confront the guilt she felt over not hearing Rawski fall or making sure he was roped up. "Even now, every day I relive it," she said. "It's the exact same moment of clipping myself into the picket at the Autobahn, and then looking over and Adam's gone."
Despite the many things she thinks Lance did wrong, she says she can't help but sympathize with him.
She chalked up Lance's actions to an "ignorance of climber responsibility and his heightened sense of self importance."
"I came across a photo of him in one of the reports that has come out recently and I honestly didn't recognize him without the look of desperation on his face," she said. "He was definitely just trying anything and everything to find the magic words to get off the mountain."
Rawski's fall was just one of about 20 search and rescue efforts the mountaineering rangers completed in Denali National Park in the 2021 season, mostly for frostbite or extreme altitude sickness. Two incidents were fatal. 
Chenoweth said the outdoor climbing boom has resulted in a noticeable shift in the types of people arriving at Denali — more summit chasers, fewer wilderness seekers. 
It's easy for climbers to forget that in remote corners of the earth like Denali, more often than not, you're on your own. 
Though Denali is an extreme example, it highlights a disconnect that often exists when humans flee from the comforts and safety of modern society and head outdoors. The places we visit are still wild. And while that doesn't mean we shouldn't go, we should treat them with the reverence they deserve when we do.
Climbers typically fly to Alaska on a commercial airplane. They take a shuttle to a hotel and go grocery shopping for supplies. They hop on a smaller plane and get dropped off in the wilderness. Even when they arrive, there are other climbers on the glacier, fostering a deceiving sense of safety in numbers. Better and cheaper satellite communications devices have also helped create a "false sense of security."
Most climbers taking on Denali wouldn't be able to get back to civilization if the plane never came back to pick them up, Chenoweth said.
"They lose this sense of scale and I think people don't quite recognize how deep in the wilderness they are."
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Date: 2022-11-08
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TimeStamp: 2022-11-08
Link: https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2022/11/14/do-we-have-the-history-of-native-americans-backward-indigenous-continent
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# Do We Have the History of Native Americans Backward?
I remember when I first encountered what must be the best-selling book of Native American history ever published, “[Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee](https://www.amazon.com/Bury-My-Heart-Wounded-Knee/dp/0805086846/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1U87VI4P7VGX5&keywords=Bury+My+Heart+at+Wounded+Knee&qid=1667838820&sprefix=bury+my+heart+at+wounded+knee%2Caps%2C96&sr=8-1),” by Dee Brown. I was twenty years old, and had made my way from the Leech Lake Reservation, in northern Minnesota, where I grew up, to Princeton, in a part of New Jersey that seemed to have no Indians at all. Since “Bury My Heart” appeared, in 1970, it has been translated into seventeen languages, and sold millions of copies. In the opening pages, Brown wrote, “The greatest concentration of recorded experience and observation came out of the thirty-year span between 1860 and 1890—the period covered by this book. It was an incredible era of violence, greed, audacity, sentimentality, undirected exuberance, and an almost reverential attitude toward the ideal of personal freedom for those who already had it. During that time the culture and civilization of the American Indian was destroyed.”
I read this on the hundredth anniversary of the 1890 massacre at Wounded Knee Creek, in South Dakota. It was the last major armed conflict between an Indian tribe and the U.S. government, and more than two hundred and fifty Lakota men, women, and children were murdered there. Far from my Ojibwe homeland—marooned, I sometimes felt, on the distant shore of a self-satisfied republic—I readily accepted the version of history promoted by Browns book: that Native American history was a litany of abuses (disease, slavery, warfare, dispossession, forced removal, the near-extermination of the American bison, land grabs, forced assimilation) that had erased our way of life. And yet my culture and civilization didnt *feel* gone. When I looked westward and back in time, I couldnt help think that Browns historical record was incomplete—that the announcement of our collective death was rather premature.
Pekka Hämäläinens “[Indigenous Continent](https://www.amazon.com/Indigenous-Continent-Contest-North-America/dp/1631496999/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3JORTBATXUQT0&keywords=indigenous+continent+by+pekka+h%C3%A4m%C3%A4l%C3%A4inen&qid=1667838844&sprefix=Indigenous+Continent%2Caps%2C84&sr=8-1)” (Liveright) boldly sets out a counternarrative. In its opening pages, Hämäläinen—a Helsinki-born scholar at Oxford who specializes in early and Indigenous American history—maintains that the America we know was, in its borders, shape, and culture, far from inevitable. Even after the so-called colonial era, tribal nations often played a determining role in American history. In his view, we should speak not of “colonial America” but of “an *Indigenous* America that was only slowly and unevenly becoming colonial,” and recognize that the central reality of the period was ongoing Indigenous resistance. By 1776, he notes, European powers had claimed most of the continent, but Indigenous people continued to control it. Instead of a foreordained story of decline and victimization, Hämäläinen wants us to see a parade of contingencies, with Native nations regularly giving as good as they got, or even better. The result, he promises, will be a North American history recentered on Native people and their own “overwhelming and persisting” power. Like treaties, though, scholarly promises have often been broken. Is Hämäläinen true to his word?
Throughout the roughly chronological work, Hämäläinen stresses movement. Tribal travellers crossed the Bering land bridge during the last Ice Age, and then, around 1100 B.C.E., traversed an ice-free corridor along the flank of the Rocky Mountains, following game and evolving, culturally, as they went. Hämäläinen notes that other migration waves may have moved, in skin boats, through a maritime route, a seafood-rich “kelp highway,” that traced the Pacific Coast from Alaska to Patagonia. However settlement occurred, it happened quickly.
Hämäläinen spends the opening pages of the book detailing the rise and fall of early empires, in the Southwest and the Midwest in particular. “A distinctive pattern of simultaneous centralization and decentralization,” he says, characterized Indigenous history in the early second millennium C.E. Regional centers of power emerged; subordinate groups would rebel or break off and sometimes create their own centers of power. Some of these societies were highly stratified and hierarchical, with élites and, in certain cases, a kinglike single ruler. Such societies led to the development of Mogollon, Hohokam, and Ancestral Puebloan cultures in the Southwest. An ecological warm period, combined with new food technologies (the breeding and cultivation of corn, beans, and squash), helped give rise to the city of Cahokia, where the Mississippi and the Missouri Rivers joined—the site of present-day St. Louis. Cahokia grew in population and size and had hundreds of ceremonial structures in the form of earthen mounds and plazas. At its peak, in the tenth and eleventh centuries, about forty thousand people lived in the vicinity. (It took seven centuries before North America saw a more populous city: Philadelphia, in 1790.)
But political culture was affected by climate. As temperatures dropped during the Little Ice Age, in the fourteenth century, Hämäläinen writes, “everything had to be smaller.” Cahokias society fractured into more mobile, less hierarchical groups, with hunting replacing farming as the dominant mode of living, and something similar happened in other dense Mississippian settlements. “Across the eastern half of the continent, people seem to have rejected the domineering priestly class for more collective and egalitarian social arrangements,” he concludes.
Hämäläinens broader point is that, long before the Europeans arrived, the peoples of the New World didnt inhabit the stasis of an ethnographers account; they experienced a tumultuous process of continual change, which is to say, they were social and political actors. By the sixteenth century, around five million Native people had inhabited or made use of almost every part of North America. The usual story depicts them as dwelling in harmony with one another and the natural world in some cultural and ecological Eden that was then torn apart by Europeans. In fact, as Hämäläinen shows, they manipulated nature—rerouting water to create gardens in the desert, domesticating cultivars through seed selection—and they projected power, sometimes in violent ways, subordinating or being subordinated to their neighbors. They didnt live in harmony; they lived in history.
Just as the initial settlement of the New World was marked by movement, so, too, were Indigenous forms of domination. Its a thesis that Hämäläinen elaborated in an influential previous book, “[The Comanche Empire](https://www.amazon.com/Comanche-Empire-Lamar-Western-History/dp/0300151179/ref=sr_1_1?crid=NK57YH6NVIFG&keywords=The+Comanche+Empire+by+pekka+h%C3%A4m%C3%A4l%C3%A4inen&qid=1667838874&sprefix=the+comanche+empire+by+pekka+h%C3%A4m%C3%A4l%C3%A4inen%2Caps%2C81&sr=8-1)” (2008): where European empires tended to be sedentary, marking power through permanent structures, dominant Native ones were “kinetic empires,” with everything—markets, missions, political assemblies—kept fluid and in motion. From the perspective of their neighbors, who were subject to their opportunistic, long-distance raids, the Comanches were, he noted, “everywhere and nowhere.”
The same kinetic strategy often characterized the Native response to European invasion and settlement—the early Spanish attempts to colonize Florida and the American Southwest, the English efforts to gain a foothold on the East Coast, followed by the French in the north and mid-continent, and the Dutch efforts around New York and the Hudson Valley. Hämäläinen wants us to see these colonial forays from a Native perspective, and to focus on how tribal nations retained their ascendancy.
When Hernando de Soto explored Florida and regions to the north, Hämäläinen recounts, he ventured into the territory of the Cofitachequi Nation, where he met its leader, known as the Lady of Cofitachequi, who was brought to the meeting on a litter. Perhaps sensing a chance to trade, she gave de Soto a pearl necklace; in response, he took her captive. The expedition moved on, in pursuit of even greater wealth. All this could sound like a story of colonial triumph, but Hämäläinen argues that we have it backward: “Soto and other conquistadors believed they were conquering new lands for the Spanish Empire, but in reality, Indians were carefully steering the Europeans course, sending them away with fantastical stories of treasures farther ahead.” And thats a pattern that he regularly lays out: often, when European conquerors thought that they were subjugating tribal nations, the Europeans were actually being manipulated and controlled by them.
And what looked like bold military successes frequently involved a misunderstanding of Indigenous political structures. In the American Southwest, conquistadors such as Juan de Oñate and Vicente de Zaldívar thought they were controlling the so-called Pueblo Empire by decapitating it, as had been done among the Incas and the Maya. Yet the Pueblo communities in the Southwest were a loosely allied network of autonomous towns, rather than a centrally organized kingdom. Massacres at places like Acoma—where, in 1599, the Spanish killed around eight hundred Pueblo in retaliation for the deaths of a dozen Spanish soldiers—didnt change the balance of power; they merely taught Indigenous people that the Spaniards were to be resisted. By the end of the sixteenth century, after nearly a hundred years of attempted conquests, Spain had failed to establish any serious settlements in North America.
Hämäläinen shows how the persistent power of Indigenous people similarly caused the early collapse of Jamestown. During the “starving time” of 1609-10, the English colonists—unable to hunt and unwilling to farm—ate dogs, cats, rats, horses, and, occasionally, one another. They failed to take the measure of the Powhatans, who had already subjugated a number of rival tribal nations. Now it was the ravaged colonists, Hämäläinen tells us, who were incorporated into Powhatan power structures. Of course, that wasnt the end of the story. In 1611, three English ships, bearing hundreds of soldiers, showed up; as Jamestown was reoccupied, the English burned Powhatan cornfields and slaughtered entire Native settlements. It sounds like a familiar story of colonial cruelty, and yet Hämäläinen offers a different emphasis: such massacres, he says, were the actions of terrified, isolated, weak, and ultimately unstable communities. In Hämäläinens view, the colonial violence “exposed a deep-rooted European anxiety over enduring Indigenous power: the attacks were so vicious because the colonists feared the Indians who refused to submit to their rule.” He notes that into the mid-seventeenth century—a century and a half after Columbus—the coastal settlements established by the English, French, and Dutch colonists remained fragile and hemmed in; most of the continent was effectively off limits to them. The struggle was for survival more than for territorial expansion.
Only in the late seventeenth century did the French and the English begin to push into the heartland, engaging complex configurations of Indigenous power in contending for control of the Great Lakes and the Ohio River Valley. Yet even then colonial gains were precarious and provisional. By the mid-eighteenth century, Indian rebellions had rolled back European incursions; the Spanish, the French, and the English clung mainly to the coasts and rivers. The vast interior of the continent was largely unknown to them, and the tidy lines of the thirteen colonies were more aspirational than actual.
As the Europeans sought to entrench an imperial presence on the continent, many tribes conglomerated into lasting yet plastic empires of their own. The Iroquois Confederacy (made up of the Cayuga, the Seneca, the Mohawk, the Onondaga, the Oneida, and the Tuscarora) was the most significant power in the Northeast; the Three Fires Confederacy (Ojibwe, Odawa, and Potawatomi) was largely in control of the western Great Lakes; and, later, the Comanche on the southern Plains and the Lakota (along with the Nakota and the Dakota, who spoke distinct dialects of the same language) had military control of larger sections of the continent than any single European power did. Hämäläinen encourages us to see this time not as a period of colonial conquest but as a clash of empires, some European and some Indigenous.
Indigenous foreign policy among the Iroquois and the Three Fires confederacies had evolved into a kind of kinetic détente. My ancestors kept the French and the British off balance by making and breaking alliances as necessary, preventing both from getting the upper hand and keeping both dependent on Native nations. One of the side effects of this policy was the Seven Years War, which can plausibly be regarded as the first world war. The conflict began in whats now Ohio, where an Odawa-French war chief named Charles Langlade led a coalition of Odawa, Potawatomi, and Ojibwe soldiers against a British fort near Pickawillany. They killed thirteen Miami soldiers and took the British hostage. The attackers executed an English blacksmith, who had been wounded in the attack, and then boiled and ate his heart in front of the horrified garrison. Vignettes such as these make the point that tribal nations, including my own, were shoving Europeans around (and eating their hearts) for quite a long time, and help dislodge the idea that tribes were either passively doomed or ineffectually violent.
In time, the reasons for the clash of Indigenous and European empires began to change: the contest wasnt simply for resources and the ability to transport them but for land itself. As the colonies expanded, accordingly, the elimination of tribal nations became a goal. By the time of the American Revolution, the French had been almost entirely expelled from what is now the United States, and the British pushed into what is now Canada; the Spanish, meanwhile, had divested themselves of most of their holdings north of the Rio Grande through war, treaties, and trade. Yet many tribal nations remained, too strong to ignore or subdue. Thayendanegea, an Iroquois leader, warned President Washingtons Secretary of War, “You consider yourselves as independent people; we, as the original inhabitants of this country, and sovereigns of the soil, look upon ourselves as equally independent, and free as any other nation or nations.”
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Date: 2022-08-14
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Link: https://www.nytimes.com/2022/08/11/us/politics/trump-fbi.html?unlocked_article_code=AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACEIPuomT1JKd6J17Vw1cRCfTTMQmqxCdw_PIxftm3iWka3DFDm8biPkORJCH_0bRZKF4IMcpwjGDAdFLMfkvWPl2hKd5DnBadjOJ8NGCiYhXZGI8s56yVWc7mM2dBulm_DXnKzPhIbs6mbbn4leMYTXoRKDbhXRwIA1lo8EzdEq4miBdntezGeF-2tZ13_oiF8o6EW9GPH_WyqGuXxZuO9yGbQXe4x01WYxaWzLQm92a7tEQYVkYSAKGHD4kvzFKuJ4LM8gXPa3_MxcrZML-5L0QAWRtJ4qvbIYjiPGGnbju7li6WADNnO2SyA&smid=url-share
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# Donald Trump and American Intelligences Years of Conflict
News Analysis
## The Poisoned Relationship Between Trump and the Keepers of U.S. Secrets
The F.B.I. search of Mar-a-Lago is a coda to the years of tumult between an erratic president and the nations intelligence and law enforcement agencies.
![Former President Donald J. Trumps relationship with the world of intelligence was the most fraught of any modern president.](https://static01.nyt.com/images/2022/08/11/us/politics/11dc-trumpintel-1/merlin_211286499_4179828d-3ebb-47d6-b604-c6d00e5a3f9a-articleLarge.jpg?quality=75&auto=webp&disable=upscale)
Credit...Brittainy Newman for The New York Times
Aug. 11, 2022
WASHINGTON— After four years of President Donald J. Trumps raging against his intelligence services, posting classified information to Twitter and announcing that he took the word of President Vladimir V. Putin of Russia over that of his own spies, perhaps the least surprising thing he did during his final days in office was ship boxes of sensitive material from the White House to his oceanside palace in Florida.
[The F.B.I. search of Mar-a-Lago](https://www.nytimes.com/live/2022/08/08/us/trump-fbi-raid) on Monday was a dramatic coda to years of tumult between Mr. Trump and American intelligence and law enforcement agencies. From Mr. Trumps frequent rants against a “deep state” bent on undermining his presidency to his cavalier attitude toward highly classified information that he viewed as his personal property and would occasionally use to advance his political agenda, the relationship between the keepers of American secrets and the erratic president they served was the most poisoned of the modern era.
Mr. Trumps behavior led to such mistrust within intelligence agencies that officials who gave him classified briefings occasionally erred on the side of withholding some sensitive details from him.
It has long been common practice for the C.I.A. not to provide presidents with some of the most sensitive information, such as the names of the agencys human sources. But Douglas London, who served as a top C.I.A. counterterrorism official during the Trump administration, said that officials were even more cautious about what information they provided Mr. Trump because some saw the president himself as a security risk.
“We certainly took into account what damage could he do if he blurts this out?’” said Mr. London, who wrote a book about his time in the agency called “The Recruiter.”
During an Oval Office meeting with top Russian officials just months into his presidency, Mr. Trump revealed [highly classified information](https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/16/world/middleeast/israel-trump-classified-intelligence-russia.html?referringSource=articleShare) about an Islamic State plot that the government of Israel had provided to the United States, which put Israeli sources at risk and angered American intelligence officials. Months later, the C.I.A. decided to pull a highly placed Kremlin agent it had cultivated over years out of Moscow, in part out of concerns that the Trump White House was a leaky ship.
In August 2019, Mr. Trump received a briefing about an explosion at a space launch facility in Iran. He was so taken by a classified satellite photo of the explosion that he wanted to post it on Twitter immediately. Aides pushed back, saying that making the high resolution photo public could give adversaries insight into Americas sophisticated surveillance capabilities.
[He posted the photo anyway](https://www.nytimes.com/2019/09/02/world/middleeast/iran-space-center-explosion.html), adding a message that the United States had no role in the explosion but wished Iran “best wishes and good luck” in discovering what caused it. As he told one American official about his decision: “I have declassification authority. I can do anything I want.”
Two years earlier, Mr. Trump used Twitter to defend himself against media reports that he had ended a C.I.A. program to arm Syrian rebels — effectively disclosing a classified program to what were then his more than 33 million Twitter followers.
If there is not one origin story that explains Mr. Trumps antipathy toward spy agencies, the [2017 American intelligence assessment](https://www.nytimes.com/2017/01/06/us/politics/russian-hack-report.html) about the Kremlins efforts to sabotage the 2016 presidential election — and Russias preference for Mr. Trump — played perhaps the biggest role. Mr. Trump saw the document as an insult, written by his “deep state” enemies to challenge the legitimacy of his election and his presidency.
Image
Credit...Saul Martinez for The New York Times
Mr. Trumps efforts to undermine the assessment became a motif in the early years of his presidency, culminating in a [July 2018 summit in Helsinki](https://www.nytimes.com/2018/07/16/world/europe/trump-putin-summit-helsinki.html) with Mr. Putin. During a joint news conference, Mr. Putin denied that Russia had any role in election sabotage, and Mr. Trump came to his defense. “They think its Russia,” Mr. Trump said, speaking of American intelligence officials and adding, “I dont see any reason it would be.”
Mr. Trump often took aim at intelligence officials for public statements he thought undermined his foreign policy goals. In January 2019, top officials testified to Congress that the Islamic State remained a persistent threat, that North Korea would still pursue nuclear weapons and that Iran showed no signs of actively trying to build a bomb — essentially contradicting things the president had said publicly. [Mr. Trump lashed out](https://www.nytimes.com/2019/01/30/us/politics/trump-intelligence-agencies.html), saying on Twitter that “The Intelligence people seem to be extremely passive and naive when it comes to the dangers of Iran. They are wrong!”
“Perhaps Intelligence should go back to school!” he wrote.
Mr. Trump was hardly the first American president to view his own intelligence services as enemy territory. In 1973, Richard M. Nixon fired Richard Helms, his spy chief, after he refused to go along with the Watergate cover-up, and installed James Schlesinger in the job with the mission of bringing the C.I.A. in line.
Speaking with a group of senior analysts on his first day, Mr. Schlesinger made a lewd comment about what the C.I.A. had been doing to Mr. Nixon, and demanded that it stop.
Chris Whipple, an author who cites the Schlesinger anecdote in his book “The Spymasters,” said there is a long history of tension between presidents and their intelligence chiefs, but that “Trump really was in a league of his own in thinking the C.I.A. and the agencies were out to get him.”
The exact nature of the documents that Mr. Trump left the White House with remains a mystery, and some former officials said that Mr. Trump generally was not given paper copies of classified reports. This had less to do with security concerns than with the way Mr. Trump preferred to get his security briefings. Unlike some of his predecessors, who would read and digest voluminous intelligence reports each day, [Mr. Trump generally received oral briefings](https://www.nytimes.com/2020/05/21/us/politics/presidents-daily-brief-trump.html).
But for those charged with protecting secrets, there may have been no bigger challenge than the seaside resort where Mr. Trump spent so much of his time as president — and where so many boxes of classified material were stored after he left office. Besides its members, Mar-a-Lago is also open to members guests, who would often interact with Mr. Trump during his frequent trips to the club. Security professionals saw this arrangement as ripe to be exploited by a foreign spy service eager for access to the epicenter of American power.
One night during his first weeks in office, [Mr. Trump was at Mar-a-Lago hosting Shinzo Abe](https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/11/us/politics/donald-trump-shinzo-abe-golf-mar-a-lago.html), the Japanese prime minister, when North Korea test-fired a ballistic missile in the direction of Japan that landed in the sea.
Almost immediately, at least one Mar-a-Lago patron [posted photos](https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/13/us/politics/mar-a-lago-north-korea-trump.html) on social media of Mr. Trump and Mr. Abe coordinating their response over dinner in the resorts dining room. Photos showed White House aides huddled over their laptops and Mr. Trump speaking on his cellphone.
The patron also published a photo of himself standing next to a person he described as Mr. Trumps military aide who carries the nuclear “football” — the briefcase that contains codes for launching nuclear weapons.
Just two world leaders responding to a major security crisis — live for the members of Mr. Trumps resort to watch in real time.
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Date: 2022-08-21
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Link: https://www.newyorker.com/news/american-chronicles/donald-trump-and-the-sweepstakes-scammers
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# Donald Trump and the Sweepstakes Scammers
It was nighttime in Atlantic City. A man with a tight Afro and a broken ankle hobbled on crutches toward the Trump Plaza Hotel and Casino. On the covered driveway, bathed in neon light, sat a Cadillac Allanté convertible—the grand prize in Trumps 1987 Drive-In Dreamstakes. The contest had been designed by Charles (Chuck) Seidman, a gregarious, boundlessly enthusiastic pitchman who called his business C.B.S.—short for C. B. Seidman Marketing Group—in the hope that the television station would sue him, giving him free publicity.
By the late eighties, America was in the grip of a sweepstakes mania. The industry had grown to an estimated value of a billion dollars, and every company, from Toys R Us to Wonder Bread, seemed to be running giveaways and promotions. Even Harvard Universitys alumni magazine was offering ten thousand dollars in Sony electronics. C.B.S. had a unique business proposition: it would come up with the promotion, print the entry forms, and even deliver the prizes. Brands hoping to capitalize on Americas obsession would pay C.B.S. one fee for a turnkey operation.
One of those brands was [Donald Trump](https://www.newyorker.com/tag/donald-trump). To entice larger crowds to his flagship casino, he had built a thirty-million-dollar parking garage. But not enough people were using it. Seidman suggested printing half a million promotional parking tickets. If visitors collected enough validation stickers, in the right combination, they could win prizes, including Walkmans, cash, an “Eternity of Vacations,” or even a Cadillac.
The Allanté cost fifty-five thousand dollars, about as much as a family home in Lansdowne, Pennsylvania, where James Parker, the man on crutches, lived. Parker was a hypnotist and a magician, and he spoke with a stutter. He greeted the parking attendant and handed over his ticket. “Look, why dont you play?” the attendant said. “You only need one more sticker. Who knows. You might win!”
The attendant applied the final sticker, scratched off the gold coating, and offered his commiserations. Then he did a double take—Parker had won. He was ushered into a promotional booth, and, over the next twenty-four hours, Trumps P.R. machine began to whir. The attendant reappeared wearing a tuxedo. A photographer from the *Trump Today* newspaper popped a flashbulb. Parker held up the key and tried not to overdo his excitement. Those were his orders.
Parker was no lucky winner. He was part of a staggering scam that involved some of the biggest brands of the eighties: Ford, Holiday Inn, Nabisco, Royal Desserts. If you entered a sweepstakes competition in those years, it was likely run by C.B.S. You had no chance of winning—Seidman had built a sprawling network of “paper winners,” including a kung-fu master and a pet psychic, who helped him steal millions of dollars in cash and prizes, pulling off the biggest sweepstakes fraud the country had ever seen.
Chuck Seidman got into sweepstakes because they were the family business. During the sixties, as a teen-ager, he went to work at his fathers promotions company, in Philadelphia. Jack Seidman had been a communications expert with the Armys Signal Corps during the Second World War, and had pioneered the rub-off game card, using gold leaf to conceal a prize message. His company, Spot-O-Gold, created early lottery games for 7-Eleven and Kelloggs, and swiftly dominated the sweepstakes market. He hoped to hand down his business to his son.
Chuck Seidman, who had been forced to leave four separate high schools for showing up to class on drugs, was not an ideal successor. He became addicted to heroin and once was arrested during a methamphetamine sale; Jack had to persuade a judge to let him off. “I was in seven detoxes and none of them worked,” Seidman later told a court. In desperation, Jack hired Steven Gross, a friend of Seidmans in the grade above him, to come work at Spot-O-Gold. “Jack knew that I didnt drink or do drugs,” Gross told me. “So he asked me if I wanted to come to work with him, to keep his son on the straight and narrow.” But that was impossible. “Chuck was the kind of narcissistic personality—you couldnt tell him what to do,” Gross said. He added, “Chuck was fun to hang around.”
Gross, who was sixteen years old, discovered that he had a knack for promotions. When he wasnt looking after Seidman, he worked in the development department, and pitched a “Cone-O-Gold” for Baskin-Robbins, among other campaigns. Spot-O-Gold delivered tamper-proof rub-off cards to supermarkets, in armored Brinks trucks, but light-fingered Seidman stole piles of two-dollar winners. He spent the cash on the [Atlantic City](https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2015/09/07/the-death-and-life-of-atlantic-city) boardwalk, hitting on girls. Gross was his designated driver.
Gross eventually left for college, then sold lingerie, and later cars. Back home, Seidmans addictions consumed him. By twenty-five, he was spending three hundred dollars a day on cocaine. Dealers at a local Lebanese restaurant blackmailed him to steal prizes. “I stole a thousand-dollar game ticket from my fathers company to pay that cocaine debt,” he later confessed. “That was the first time.” In 1984, Jack paid off sixty thousand dollars in drug debt for his son.
The following year, Jack discovered that Seidman, now thirty-four, was regularly stealing winning tickets, and a fistfight broke out. “He went to hit me. I blocked it,” Seidman later recalled. During the spat, Jack crumpled to the ground, cracking his ten-thousand-dollar Rolex. Seidman penned a poisonous letter to his father: “I will fight you with everything and anything I have with a promise to God that whatever happens, you will not walk away from this a very happy man.”
His first act of revenge was to purchase several VCRs and televisions on his fathers charge account, and sell them for cash. “He had no autonomy whatsoever,” Gross told me. “He felt like he was really under his fathers thumb.” Not long afterward, Seidman called Gross to pitch an idea. They would start their own sweepstakes company and beat his father at his own game.
One by one, Seidman lured away his fathers clients with ingenious pitches for new sweepstakes. (He had learned to hide his drug use, and to harness psychedelics for out-of-the-box thinking.) Having grown up coveting his fathers gaudy displays of wealth, he specialized in conceiving elaborate prizes. For Alpo, a dog-food brand, he suggested giving away a luxury holiday to one lucky winner—and forty-nine of their closest friends and family members. He leased a cramped office in the basement of an apartment building, and hired an assistant.
“Thats when we ended up getting company American Express cards,” Gross told me. “I started to see why his father couldnt deal with him.” Seidman spent thousands of dollars on designer suits and purchased sixteen season tickets for Philadelphia Eagles games. He also opened a distribution arm of the company to handle mail-in promotions for brands. To run it, he hired two teen-agers he had met in the parking lot of a Wawa sandwich shop, Timothy Dagit and Louis Mazzio, and encouraged them to work for little money, calling it “sweat capital.” (Neither Dagit nor Mazzio agreed to an interview.)
Out from under Jacks watchful eye, Seidman and Gross realized that they could pilfer some of the prizes. Gross conspired to rig a Royal Desserts competition to win ten supermarket-sweep trips to Toys R Us. At the time, there was little regulatory oversight for sweepstakes. No single set of laws governed contests, and the Federal Trade Commission and Federal Communications Commission couldnt make up their minds, or work together on enforcement. “To be honest, I looked at it as a victimless crime,” Gross told me. The brands still got their publicity.
Seidman encouraged Gross to buy a limousine so that the pair would “look successful” when they attended meetings. Soon, Seidman co-owned a company, called Ride in Style, that had three. (The limos looked new, but, under the hood, they were falling apart—someone had disconnected the odometers.) Seidman wore cowboy boots and got a Rolex, which he had “won” in a competition, to match his fathers. He had terrible credit; when he wanted a BMW with a portable phone inside, and a luxury Cadillac, Gross signed the leases. Seidman started carrying a .357 Magnum around the office in a holster.
By the mid-eighties, Jack and Spot-O-Gold were in trouble. Competitors had rendered Jacks patent on the rub-off obsolete. “Somebody worked around it and did the *scratch*\-off,” Fred Sorokin, who worked for Spot-O-Gold, and later for C.B.S., told me. “Its a different process. Im sure Jack was furious about it.” This unfortunate turn compounded the pain of losing his relationship with his son. “I think Jack probably had a broken heart,” Sorokin said. In May, 1986, during a walk in Philadelphias Rittenhouse Square, Jack collapsed and died of a heart attack. Without its charismatic owner, Spot-O-Gold shuttered and Seidman stole its remaining clients.
C.B.S. was taking off. It rented an office in the same luxury tower where Charles Barkley lived. Gross, who took smoke breaks by the pool, would see him lying in the sun. “I got kind of tight with Charles,” Gross told me. Dr. J and the rest of the 76ers often hung out in the lobby. Meanwhile, Seidmans substance abuse accelerated. “I was on ten Valium pills or Xanax pills a day, and several tranquillizers,” he later recalled. In desperation, his wife, Susan, dialled a random hypnotherapist from the Yellow Pages. It was James Parker. “I get this phone call from this frantic woman,” Parker told me. “ I need you here—its an emergency. My husband is on drugs or drinking. Hes so messed up. We are about to lose everything.’ ” Parker had started studying hypnosis after watching a carnival stage show when he was seven years old. (He bought a hypnosis book, hoping to control his parents.) By his early twenties, he dreamed of becoming a famous stage hypnotist. In May, 1987, he arrived at Seidmans home. Parker put Seidman in a trance; when Seidman woke up, he announced that he was cured. (Susan declined my requests for an interview.)
Seidman promised to make Parker the most famous hypnotist in America. He said that hed book him on Oprah and Johnny Carson, and even get his image on the front of a Wheaties box. But, before all that, Seidman had a favor to ask. He needed Parker to pose as the lucky winner for the Trump Plaza sweepstakes. According to Parker, Seidman assured him that the scheme, though “not the most ethical,” was completely legal.
Parker had no problem taking from Trump. In the seventies, Trump and his father, who owned an enormous portfolio of rental buildings in New York City, had been accused of refusing to lease apartments to Black people. Parkers mother was part of an investigative team assembled by the citys human-rights division to expose the practice. “They would send a Black couple into a Trump property to rent something,” he told me. When the couple were told that there were no vacancies, a white employee would soon follow, and would be welcomed with open arms. Gross also found a way to justify the sweepstakes scheme. He knew that Trump “was screwing over all these people who worked on the casinos, and put a number of small businesses out of business,” he told me. “He was a con man.” (Trump did not respond to numerous requests for comment.)
Seidman sent his mistress, a legal assistant hed met at a TGI Fridays, to the casino to get the required stickers. “We had to obtain them at different times so that it didnt look like somebody went in there four days in a row,” Gross explained. They gave the fixed ticket to Parker, but there was a snag—he had crashed his motorbike while performing a skid, and his leg was in plaster. Driving to Trump Plaza would be difficult. Seidman and Gross also worried that his stutter might make him seem nervous. “We told him to act excited, but not to go crazy like people on game shows do, you know, jumping and screaming,” Gross said.
Three days after Parkers win, a catastrophic stock-market crash sent tremors through the American economy. Gross had instructed Parker to sell the Cadillac and open a new bank account to deposit the proceeds, but, after Black Monday, there were no buyers for a fifty-five-thousand-dollar luxury car, especially one featured in United Press Internationals annual list of “ins and outs.” (Donald Trump was in; the Allanté was out.) Eventually, they sold it to a dealer for half off. Parker kept four thousand dollars, but, unbeknownst to him, he was on the hook for taxes on the entire prize value. He booked a flight to Paris, where he had a date with a touring opera singer.
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Date: 2022-04-25
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```button
name Save
type command
action Save current file
id Save
```
^button-DowntheHatchNSave
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# Down the Hatch, by David Hill
The carnival midway is anchored at one end by a Ferris wheel, a mainstay since George Washington Gale Ferris Jr. erected the first of its kind at the Chicago Worlds Fair in 1893. At the other end is its antithesis: the Fire Ball, a thrill ride that consists of a single loop, roller-coaster cars rocking back and forth until they gain enough momentum to swirl perilously around the circle. Between the two lies the extent of the Tri-County Fair: a nebula of vivid lights, fried food, and laughter. Driving up to the fairground at night, it appears all at once, lit like a beacon. None of it was here four days ago, and as with any good apparition, none of it will be here tomorrow.
“I can hear you getting restless,” said the Great Gozleone, a large man, tall and round in his sequin-trimmed suit, with a baby face that made him seem younger than his forty years. He was standing on a makeshift stage welded to the side of a tractor trailer parked in a vast field under a massive vinyl tent in the middle of nowhere, Tennessee, next to a long-dormant speedway. Around him hung a row of canvas banners depicting oddly outfitted figures swallowing swords, electrocuting themselves, and otherwise incurring all manner of pain and disfigurement for our entertainment.
“Cat? Did you say cat? Or bat?” Gozleone asked.
A young girl in the audience shouted a word, but nobody sitting on the dirt and cedar chips could hear her above the din of the rides and games. Gozleone was scrawling words on a whiteboard. He wrote “cat.” This was a memory act, in which Gozleone claimed the ability to recall long lists of random objects generated by the crowd. It was one of a number of acts that he and his fellow performers would trot out over the next hour. A “ten-in-one,” in carnival parlance—ten shows for the price of one. The memory act was the opener, the newest addition to the show.
Gozleone finished his list, and strolled to the other side of the stage. He asked the crowd to shout out a number, any number.
“Seven!”
“Seven is keys,” he said, staring off in deep concentration, hands lifted to shield his view.
“Ten!”
“Ten is ice cream,” he recalled.
“Two!”
“Two is,” and here he faltered, “Spider-Man.”
The crowd shouted “*No!”* all together in dismay.
“No?” Two was not Spider-Man. The Great Gozleone shrugged and retreated behind the curtain as the next act, a pickpocket with a curled mustache and round spectacles, came out to hammer a six-inch nail into the center of his head.
Gozleones real name is Tommy Breen, and he is the owner and operator of the World of Wonders, the oldest traveling sideshow in the United States. For the past eighteen years, Breen has spent nine months of every year out on the road, traveling the country with the company—first as a sword-swallower, then as a front-talker (never call them carnival barkers), later as a partner, and now as the sole proprietor. His way of life marks him as an endangered species, a relic of another era, hanging on even in normal times by a thread. For seven decades, the World of Wonders has performed at thousands of fairs and carnivals like this one, a perennial certainty in so many small, rural communities in America. But as with any perennial, if they miss one season, it isnt a certainty theyll return for the next.
The Tri-County Fair in Atwood, Tennessee, was the first gig of the year for the World of Wonders, and it had been a tough stand for the traveling crew: Earlier that night, the dirt-bike daredevils had crashed inside the Globe of Death. The night before, the sideshow had been cut short by an amateur wrestling exhibition; the audience had rushed out of the tent at the opening bell. Now Gozleone had blown the memory act. To make matters worse, he had blown it every night of the fair so far.
It was an inauspicious start to the cautious revival of the carnival season after the long interregnum necessitated by the pandemic, which presented the outdoor amusement industry with a challenge it hadnt faced since, say, the Great Plague of London, which led to the cancellation of the Bartholomew Fair in 1665. (The Spanish flu in 1918 stalled some traveling outfits for just six weeks or so.) The modern American carnival business is nothing if not resilient. It has persevered through war, depression, and ecological acts of God. Through it all, it has held its place in the cultural firmament, largely unchanged in form and function from the original carnivals that toured the country following the 1893 Worlds Fair. COVID-19, however, put the business on its ass. “We thought it would be three or four weeks,” Greg Chiecko, the president of the Outdoor Amusement Business Association, told me. “Our people are used to working hard. They set up and take down iron and move from city to city. To sit down and do nothing for a year drives them crazy.”
The 2020 season was largely wiped from the calendar. Fairs across the country were postponed or canceled with little notice, including those in three counties surrounding Atwood. Carnival concessionaires depend on a summer season filled with outdoor events to make their living. Realizing the hit his business would take, a local entrepreneur bought a nearby racetrack that had stood empty for four years, and rallied some of the concessionaires and amusement companies that also depended on the fairs. In a matter of weeks, they had organized an event.
Atwood, a community of just under a thousand people, is surrounded for miles in every direction by cotton fields and farmlands. To get there, you have to journey three miles from the nearest major road. Its not only in the middle of nowhere, that is—its also well hidden there. For people in communities like this one, tradition is paramount, and the carnival seemed to do more than just entertain; it reinforced the regions social connective tissue. Though it may have been a risk, it was a risk the county was willing to take.
My presence in Atwood the following season was no accident. In a sense, it was destiny: I come from carny blood. My grandmother Hazel got hitched to a carnival man named Eric shortly before I was born, and they spent my early childhood traveling the country, fleecing the midway marks with a rigged game called the Razzle. The Razzle men, also known as flat-store operators, were carnival royalty. In Peter Fentons industry memoir *Eyeing the Flash,* he writes that they “wore golf hats and silk shirts, and they received pedicures. They could afford a house trailer or a room at the Sheraton.” Eric and Hazel were no “forty milers,” carnival figures who ran mostly hometown shows. And unlike me, they were no “First of Mays,” who joined the show at the start of the season but rarely made it the full nine months. Eric and Hazel spent their lives on the road, so much so that when Eric was arrested for the murder of a fellow carny when I was six, the police listed “traveled with carnival” as his prior address.
In the Seventies, when the two of them were on the road, business was booming. An estimated eighty-five million people went to carnivals each year. The industry employed hundreds of thousands of people, accounting for hundreds of millions of dollars in annual profit. Still, carnival operators were nervous about the future. Fairgrounds were an incredibly valuable real estate development—worth as much as ten thousand dollars per acre—that were only being used less than two weeks a year. The cost of operating a traveling carnival, with its ever-growing collection of massive thrill rides (what carnies call “brightly lighted pig iron”), increased every year, cutting deeper into profits. The carnival historian Joe McKennon, writing in 1972, wondered, “How many fairs as they are constituted today can survive another ten years?” And Ward Hall, the founder of the World of Wonders, in his memoir *Struggles and Triumphs of a Modern Day Showman,* lamented that by the end of the decade, he and his peers felt “a bit depreased \[*sic*\] and uncertain for the future.”
There have been some ups and downs since then. Highly publicized accidents on carnival rides have led to stricter safety regulations and higher insurance premiums. And competition from theme parks and other entertainment options has surely cut down on attendance over the years. Still, before the pandemic, the outdoor amusement sector was thriving. According to Chiecko, carnivals are part of a $1.8 billion industry that serves around five hundred million people every year. And the business model looks almost exactly the way it did in 1972, or for that matter, 1932. The carnival midway, with its Ferris wheels and Zipper rides and whirling swings and duck-pond games, has stood the test of time. Perhaps thats part of the appeal: the midway feels familiar. Theres comfort in seeing the carnival pop up at fairgrounds year after year, and in knowing that this generation will feel the joggle of the Tilt-a-Whirl just as you once felt it, that they will fare no better at knocking over the milk bottles or sinking the basketball in the hoop.
That isnt to say that the carnival hasnt changed at all. In the Thirties and Forties, what McKennon refers to as the industrys “golden age,” flat-store operators like Eric and Hazel developed a reputation for not just fleecing the marks, but downright skinning them, leaving angry citizenry to confront the next show that blew through town. It didnt matter whether a carnival was a “Sunday School”—one free of gambling and bawdy attractions—all were expected to answer for the sins of the show that came before them. As a result, the industry went to great lengths to ostracize any opportunistic or dishonest operators.
The Razzle games are mostly gone. The modern midway is free from overt gambling, though sometimes expensive prizes are used to entice attendees to pony up to play something they can never win. The games are more or less fair, the catch being that the prize is usually worth a fraction of the cost to play. Not that this stopped workers from doing all they could to never part with so much as a single teddy bear. I observed a steady stream of camouflage-clad teens try to knock over the milk bottles with a softball to win a Kobe Bryant jersey or a video game console. None of them questioned why the game runner needed to keep a rubber band around one of the bottles so he could tell it from the others, or why it took him an eternity to set them back up after each failed attempt. They merely questioned what was off about their aim.
The replacement of gambling games with “slum joints” like these was accompanied by the replacement of so-called freak shows with “working acts”—feats that could be learned by any performer, in contrast to “natural-born acts,” which were once the stars of American midways. Ward Halls World of Wonders went through just such a transformation. Once populated by what Hall called his “very unusual friends,” the show adapted to the American publics cultural sensitivities. By the Eighties, it consisted mostly of working acts like sword-swallowing and stage illusions, the sort of thing you might expect to see at a magic show. Hall fought new laws criminalizing the showcasing of human oddities in court, but he changed the show all the same. He spent his “winter quarters”—the months of the year when carnival operators come off the road to do maintenance and prepare for the next season—developing new acts, reinventing the show year after year to keep up with changing tastes.
Today Breen runs the World of Wonders much the same way. Each winter provides him an opportunity to take a hard look at the show and reimagine it. Hes more than a performer—hes a self-taught engineer, a jack-of-all-trades. Breen had gone from learning how to talk the Bally to learning to weld iron, wire lights, and drive an eighteen-wheeler. “Its all problem-solving,” he said.
I had first seen the World of Wonders years ago at a local fair with my kids, and was enchanted. It wasnt so much the performances, though I found them charming: it was that the endeavor felt as though it had been transported from an earlier epoch. It felt like a precious, if somewhat sordid, time capsule of lost Americana, held together by duct tape and wire in the back of a truck, reanimated each week in some new parking lot or patch of earth. The carnival was a vestige of a time and place I never knew, but had, in a sense, been steeped in as a child.
After my first encounter with the show, I followed the group on social media and caught up with them whenever it was feasible. But in the early days of the pandemic, they announced theyd be taking the show off the road for the time being. When I finally reached out to Breen to ask what was next, he invited me to come see for myself. At the time, I hadnt left my basement in over a year. But I felt ready to reenter the world. What better way, I figured, than to tour America with the carnival?
The fairgoers in the World of Wonders tent were not overly optimistic. Even folks from the smallest of towns know that when youre sitting on cedar chips watching a show on the back of a semitruck, you should probably temper your expectations. The long-standing bargain the sideshow has made with its audiences over the past century is this: these acts may not be great, but at least there are a lot of them. A svelte young woman who went by Hexli gyrated onstage, performing an eccentric and precise belly dance, then delicately climbed a ladder made of swords. The resident strongwoman, Luella Lynne, dressed like a game-show hostess in a shimmering sequin dress and high heels, proceeded to bend steel bars and break shackles with her bare hands, with nary a bead of sweat. The pickpocket, Les S. Moore, pounded nails into his head through his nose while keeping up a steady stream of jokey patter. (This was the “blockhead,” a sideshow act almost one hundred years old. Despite Moores attempts at humor, the audience seemed mostly horrified, shielding their childrens eyes.) Then Gozleone was back to close the show, making good on his earlier failure. After swallowing flaming torches and breathing plumes of fire, he brought out a terrifying array of swords and saws, and began to dip each blade into his stomach. “Down the hatch without a scratch,” he quipped. With each new sword he slid into his throat, he bent over ninety degrees and held his mouth open wide to show the crowd that the blade was truly inside of him. It was, frankly, gross. It was also incredible. By the end of the show, the audience was no longer simply being charitable. They were appalled and amazed.
As the last revelers departed the fairground, the performers prepared to disassemble the makeshift venue, load it onto their trucks, and head to the next town. Breen came out in a red apron and basketball shorts, his suit carefully sequestered in his RV behind the tractor trailer. Breens partner, the strongwoman Lynne, also came out in an apron and workout clothes, as did Hexli, the belly dancer, and Moore, the human blockhead. The costumes had been replaced by T-shirts and work gloves. For sideshow performers who typically ply their trade in bars and other traditional venues, working the World of Wonders is a badge of honor. Its the last real sideshow in America, supported by tent stakes that have been part of the operation since the beginning. Any performer who wants an authentic sideshow experience has to hang sidewall and hammer those ancient stakes into the ground. Once the crowd leaves, the performers shed their superpowers and revert to the same status as everyone else on the midway—they become carnies. Everybody has the same job: to tear down the show.
At around 10 pm on closing night, as we pulled up the stakes, I began to question whether my carnival ancestry would be enough for me to hack it out on the road with this crew. As Hexli and I rolled up long strips of vinyl tent, I asked her how long she thought it would take, and she said she had no idea how wed get the eighty-foot-long tent and the forty-four-foot stage, as well as the props, walls, poles, stakes, lights, and banners, all stowed away before sunrise. “It took us days to put this up,” she shrugged. “And it was still probably the hardest work Ive ever done in my life.”
My carny blood would prove insufficient. By 1 am, I was soaked with sweat. By 3 am, I was covered in a film of dirt. As we pried the stakes out with giant nail pullers, I marveled aloud to Breen how the crew had hammered them so deep in the first place. “At least we had dirt,” he replied. “When we get to Louisiana we have to put this thing up in the hottest parking lot on earth.” When I asked how we were supposed to do that, he pointed to the truck, where one wall was lined with about fifteen sledgehammers.
“We sling sledge,” he replied. “Same as it always was.”
![https://harpers.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/CUT_21.jpg](https://harpers.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/CUT_21-1400x0-c-default.jpg)
Showmens Museum
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Luella Lynne
![https://harpers.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/CUT_26.jpg](https://harpers.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/CUT_26-1400x0-c-default.jpg)
Rosie
The World of Wonders sideshow was started by Ward Hall and his young partner, Chris Christ, in Gibsonton, Florida (known in the carnival business as “Gibtown” or “Showtown, USA”), in 1966. Hall had been touring with a version of the show since he purchased it for a thousand dollars in 1951, and he had been in the business, first as a prop hand, then as a performer, since 1944. His initial foray into owning and selling tickets to his own show was an attraction he made by putting two baby dolls melded together into a jar filled with ink-tinted water, and letting ticket buyers believe it was the genuine article. He parlayed that jar into a vast collection of attractions, illusions, and performers that he took on the road.
Hall was a visionary, constantly generating new ideas for the sideshow and ways to keep it fresh from season to season. But he lacked the technical and organizational skills needed to keep the wheels turning as World of Wonders grew. When Hall bought a semitruck to cart around the act, according to Breen, he didnt learn how to drive it, and eventually wrecked it because he never figured out how the air brakes worked.
An enthusiastic performer in Halls shows, Christ became the behind-the-scenes showman, doing everything from driving the truck to welding steel to booking dates. Together the two men built the World of Wonders into an operation that would outlast all of their competitors.
Breens first experience with the sideshow was a “wild man” act at a fair in New York in the Eighties. Wild man shows, also called geek shows, usually featured a man, often someone on the fringes of society—alcoholics were not uncommon—who was paid to wear a costume, grow his hair out, and “perform” several times a day by biting the heads off live chickens and snakes. The Bally talkers—the carnies who persuaded fairgoers to buy tickets—would tell people these geeks were wild men from some faraway locale like Borneo. The shows did impressive business, but by the time Breen visited one as a child, they had already become considerably tamer. Geek shows drew the attention of animal-rights groups as early as 1960, and in time the act was sanitized. The wild men of later years were merely disheveled and loud, and Breen was unimpressed.
As a teenager, Breen played in punk bands and was an avid fan of professional wrestling. As he grew disenchanted with his suburban New Jersey adolescence, his thoughts drifted back to the fairs of his youth. “I want to get the fuck out of here,” Breen said, recalling his mindset. “My bands never going to make it, Im never going to be a wrestler. Its like, well, Ill join the circus.” The trouble was, he didnt have a talent he could contribute. “I cant be an acrobat, I dont like clowns,” he said. So he committed to learning the art of sword-swallowing in his parents basement. He experimented with whatever he had, even teaching himself to swallow a necklace and pull it out his nose. But he kept his skills a secret for years, along with his plans to run away.
Then, in 2005, Breen saw an ad on Craigslist for a sideshow performer. The ad had been placed by Hall, who was still running the operation, though his show had few of the natural-born acts it had once been famous for. In their place, the lineup consisted mainly of stage illusions. There was the spider girl, a rather ridiculous-looking giant fake spider on a twine web that appeared, with the help of mirrors and optical illusions, to have a womans head; and the headless woman, a comparatively impressive effect where a living, breathing woman sat in a chair with metal tubes and wires hooked up to her neck where her head shouldve been. The spider girl dated to the late nineteenth century. The headless woman had been a part of sideshows since the New York Worlds Fair, and remains on the World of Wonders roster today.
Breen signed on to swallow swords, but Christ told him hed need to do a lot more than just perform. Hed need to help put the show up and tear it down, just like everyone else. One evening during Breens first season, somewhere in upstate New York, after the crew had spent a night tearing everything down and a whole day setting it all back up, Christ told everyone to take a quick dinner break and then get into costume. They were performing that evening. “Are you fucking kidding me?” Breen said. He quit on the spot, climbed a fence, and started walking down the road, hoping hed find a gas station from which he could call his mother. But he walked and walked and didnt see anything but trees. Eventually, he turned around. He climbed back over the fence, got into costume, and took the stage.
In time, Hall and Christ noticed Breens talent and enthusiasm, and realized he was potentially more than just a sword-swallower. Breen had the makings of a showman, a carnival boss. Christ asked him back the next season, and he agreed. A couple of seasons later, Breen was made a partner. By 2017, he had purchased the show from Hall and Christ.
If Breen had seen a gas station the night of his aborted escape, the course of his life might have been different. The World of Wonders may not have survived the twentieth century, may have ended up on museum shelves like every other sideshow before it. I understood acutely what an important stroke of luck it had been, because as we tore down the show in Atwood, I wondered more than once how I might gracefully escape. As Hexli and I struggled to carry the twenty-foot steel poles across the muddy midway, I, too, considered giving up on the carny life. But then one of the daredevils from the Globe of Death wandered over to warn us that a cop had pulled him over, and had searched his truck for drugs. We were surrounded on all sides by fields and unmarked police cars. There was no escape. And there would be no rest, either. When we finished at around 4:30 am, exhausted beyond belief, we made a plan to meet up after just a few hours sleep for the next jump, more than five hundred miles away in Lafayette, Louisiana.
The drive was much longer than anticipated, because the I-40 bridge that crosses into Arkansas was out of commission. We had to caravan down through Mississippi and across the Gulf Coast in unusually heavy traffic. Breen decided to stop halfway and spend the night at a hotel, where he ended up in a spirited argument with the owner, who had told him over the phone that they allowed pets but then balked when he saw that the pet in question was a hundred-and-eighty-pound pig.
The first time I saw the World of Wonders show, in the parking lot of a mall in West Nyack, New York, in 2018, they had erected massive metal scaffolding from which a tattooed, blond hula-hooper named Trixie Turvy was suspended high in the air by her ankles while escaping from a straitjacket. To me, it was show business at its most impressive. But to Breen and his fellow crew members, it was a pain in the ass. Putting up the rigging was a lot of work, and there wasnt always enough room for it on the ground. After that season, he scrapped the act and came up with Texas Tommys Wild West Revue, a throwback to Buffalo Bills traveling shows. The premise is simple—Breen and Lynne do tricks with whips and lassos and bend horseshoes, all acts they learned during their time off. For the big finale they bring out a potbellied pig named Rosie.
“It was Chriss idea to get the pig,” Breen told me. “I said, Why would I need a pig for a Wild West show? Hes like, You need a pig. And then I saw Rosie, and I was like, I need this pig.’ ”
Rosie is a natural star. Breen wasnt bad at snapping the tops off flowers with a whip, but Rosie stole the show. Breen got her when she was still a piglet, and has been training her for years. As it turns out, pigs are fast learners. Rosie honks a horn with her snout, dances by weaving in and out of Breens legs, high-fives, sits on command, and gives kisses. She closes the show by posing on a podium while her new fans take selfies with her.
When we finally reached the hottest parking lot on earth, at the Cajundome in Lafayette, there was a crew of four people to meet us. Breen had placed an ad on Craigslist offering fifteen dollars an hour to anyone willing to help set up, and they had answered the call. Ordinarily the responsibility to set up and tear down the show lies with the performers, but Les and Hexli hadnt made the jump with us to Louisiana, and their replacements wouldnt arrive for a few more days. It was just me, Breen, and Lynne.
The crew was a piebald assortment of Lafayettans who were down on their luck: a soft-spoken tattooed punk woman from the West Coast, an eager and muscular young man who drove a minivan, a grandmother with a journalism degree who said she wasnt above “busting ass for cash.” They sweated in the Louisiana heat without complaint for hours, drilling so many holes and hammering so many stakes into the hard asphalt that Breen had to go to a hardware store to replace his drill bit. At one point he climbed into the possum belly of his truck and came back with a jackhammer, which one member of our crew was excited to use. Breen, however, offered it to the Craigslist crew. He preferred the sledgehammer.
It struck me that day, watching Breen hammer in one spike after another, that this was an incredibly austere manner in which to be in show business. Over the past two decades Breen had taught himself to swallow swords, eat fire, throw knives, perform illusions, and conduct every other form of stagecraft that his show required. His talent could have landed him on a big stage somewhere, or even on television. Yet here he was, in a parking lot in the Deep South, living in an RV with a pig.
Carnival work is difficult by any measure. Its physically demanding and requires traveling most of the year. And the pay is often less than minimum wage. There arent many like Breen who are drawn to the carny life for the sheer romance of it. Thats why amusement workers have come to represent the fifth-largest H-2B temporary guest-worker occupation. These workers are recruited around the world by labor agents. Many of them come from small towns in Mexico. Two thirds or more of all H-2B amusement workers in the United States, in fact, come from a single city in Veracruz: Tlapacoyan, population approximately 60,000. Gold Star Amusements, which operates the rides at the Cajun Heartland State Fair in Lafayette, had thirty-six H-2B visa workers in 2021. Their application stated that these workers were paid less than ten dollars an hour.
According to Greg Chiecko, guest workers are crucial to the industry, and the governments reluctance to increase the number of visas issued every year is hurting business. “Its a real crisis at this point,” he said. The politics around the program have little to do with low wages or poor working conditions, and everything to do with anti-immigrant attitudes. But Chiecko wonders who else would do the hard work of setting up and tearing down shows. “Its not a pathway to citizenship. They come to the country, work, pay taxes, and go home. Over the years fewer and fewer Americans want to do certain types of jobs. One of them is working for a carnival.”
When the last spike was in the ground and Breen excused the Craigslist crew, the four of them hung around and chatted about where else to find work. Someone suggested they stay and work the carnival. This was quickly dismissed. Whatever the work of pouring funnel cakes or operating Tilt-a-Whirls on the back end of the midway paid, it was not likely to be enough. None of them stayed.
![https://harpers.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/CUT_48.jpg](https://harpers.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/CUT_48-1400x0-c-default.jpg)
Tommy Breen
![https://harpers.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/CUT_43.jpg](https://harpers.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/CUT_43-1400x0-c-default.jpg)
The Showmens Museum grounds and Tommy Breens backyard
![https://harpers.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/CUT_44.jpg](https://harpers.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/CUT_44-1400x0-c-default.jpg)
![https://harpers.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/CUT_46.jpg](https://harpers.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/CUT_46-1400x0-c-default.jpg)
We retired backstage for the night, sitting around in camp chairs next to Rosies pen. Lynne puzzled over a chessboard (she kept a running correspondence game going with her father in Nebraska). Breen fretted about the memory act that had defeated him in Tennessee. “Thats the worst Ive ever felt,” he said. “Embarrassed and enraged.”
Breen had gotten the idea for it while reading a book about mentalism. The book described two methods for reproducing long lists of random objects—one involved trickery and the other required memorization. He wanted the challenge, so he spent his downtime practicing the honest method until he could recall thirty-five objects over and over again, without mistake. But out here on the road, his confidence was waning.
“I think Im nervous,” he said. “It didnt work the first time, which is fucking me up.”
Lynne encouraged him. “You can do it,” she said. “Youve done it tons of times.”
Lynne said the same thing happened to her when she first started tearing decks of cards in half. “One time I couldnt do it and then it messed me up,” she said. “Its always in my head that it might not work now.”
Breen told the story of a spot one summer in California: During the knife-throwing act, the performer, Sir Kade, accidentally hit the human target, Trixie Turvy, with an errant throw. When someone ran to tell Breen, he asked, “Is she dead?” She wasnt, but she had been impaled and was bleeding profusely, and the audience was looking on in horror. Someone took Turvy to the hospital as Breen pulled Kade aside. “I know youre freaked out,” he told him. “It happens.” But, he stressed, the show must go on. To demonstrate his confidence, Breen volunteered to be the replacement target. When the next audience filed into the tent, Breen stood against the board and let Kade throw his knives at him. It was terrifying, but he felt it was the only way for Kade to get his confidence back. “It helped him not get traumatized over it,” Breen said. And when Turvy returned from the hospital all stitched up, she took her place at the board and went back to work.
Still, Breen and Lynne brainstormed ways to change the memory act. Perhaps she could come out and get the list from the audience for him so he could concentrate. Perhaps they could have the audience shout all the objects at once rather than one at a time to make it go faster. Eventually the two of them bade me farewell and walked arm in arm through the vast midway, enjoying the peace and quiet one last time before the gates opened and the carnival began.
The Cajun Heartland State Fair was a very different scene from the Tri-County Fair in Atwood. Lafayette is an urban center of more than one hundred thousand people, but visitors come from all over Louisiana. “When you talk to individuals who live outside of Lafayette Parish and you talk about the Cajun Heartland State Fair, I mean, you can see their face, like, Oh, thats the big fair,’ ” said Pam DeVille, the director of the Cajundome. They have held this fair without fail for the past thirty-three years—except for 2020, when it was canceled like most of the others. In 2019, more than forty thousand people were in attendance. As the fair kicked off its eleven-night comeback, nearly two thousand five hundred people showed up, besting the pre-pandemic record for an opening night.
The midway felt more than twice as large as the one in Tennessee, with rides that towered above the Ferris wheel and the Fire Ball. At one end was an actual roller coaster, which I had watched workers unpack from trucks and assemble atop wooden blocks and sheets of plywood in a matter of days, with a kind of awe. There was a separate section for the larger thrill rides, where teenagers seemed to congregate. Nearby were the rigged games of chance, where fairgoers tried breaking beer bottles with baseballs, or standing bottles on end with a ring on a string. No matter how carefully they watched the jointee demonstrate how to do it correctly (and this was always done adroitly, and on command), the marks could never quite pull it off. Watching them try, I ate a paper plate of fried alligator, which unsurprisingly tasted like everything else battered and dipped in hot oil. Another mark on the midway, I suppose.
Next came the childrens rides, where families gathered, phones aloft, filming their kids spinning round and round on the carousel. There was the entertainment stage where local acts performed, alternating nightly between country, rock, and rap. The sound was loud enough to drown out the nearby twangs of Johnny Cash that soundtracked Texas Tommys Wild West Revue, where Rosie danced and peacocked and posed.
Despite the competition, the opening-night crowd at the World of Wonders was far from a smattering, and the Great Gozleone, Luella Lynne, and a troupe of performers from New Orleans had the audience eating out of the palms of their hands. When Gozleone swallowed seven swords at once, the audience gasped. When he breathed fire, they cheered. When he chopped off Lynnes head in his guillotine, they screamed. As he got to the memory act, making his way through the list of twenty objects, a woman standing next to me stood frozen in disbelief. She looked around for some kind of mirror, anything to prove he was cheating. “How?” she asked out loud.
Perhaps the crowd was too easy. After all, they had been locked up at home like the rest of us, longing to get back outside and be normal again, to be among their friends and neighbors, to be entertained. Perhaps they were primed for thrilling. Still, there in the floodlights, as Gozleone finished his impressive yet trivial feat without having missed a single item on the list, the crowd was more than thrilled—they were astonished.
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^button-Drugskilled8friendNSave
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# Drugs killed 8 friends, one by one, in a tragedy seen across the U.S.
GREENVILLE, N.C. — On that terrible day nine years ago, Ellie Laughinghouse Crout was running late. The memorial service for her half sister was starting in an hour and she still hadnt left home.
The 5-week-old child, Lacy, just seven pounds, had been found facedown in her crib two days earlier, devastating her half siblings, who had been so eager to welcome the baby.
And now Ellies phone was ringing. Annoyed, she answered and snapped at her mother, whose tone signaled more calamity. Ellies youngest brother, Jackson, distraught over the babys death, had gone out with friends the night before. When his mother tried to rouse him from bed that morning, he was gray, with almost no pulse. Tests would show he had four kinds of anti-anxiety medication in his blood. Five days later, just before his 19th birthday, he was taken off life support.
“I hate the saying, Everything happens for a reason, or Itll get easier, because it doesnt,” Ellie said. “It doesnt get easier. Grief and loss never do. I think they just get different. You learn where some days youre an emotional wreck and others, you dont think about them as much. Or you think about them with a smile.”
Oct. 2, 2013, was not the day the drug epidemic reached Greenville. But beginning with Jacksons death that day, a group of at least 16 young men and women who grew up together in this small eastern North Carolina city would succumb to overdoses of opioids and other drugs over nine years. More of their peers became addicted or overdosed but managed to survive.
“It was almost like a generation that went to war didnt come back,” said J.D. Fletcher, whose son died in 2019.
In a nation that suffered [more than 107,000 drug overdose deaths in 2021 alone**,**](https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/pressroom/nchs_press_releases/2022/202205.htm?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template) there are many Greenvilles — places where the powerful opioid fentanyl and other drugs have produced clusters of overdose deaths, or picked off victims one at a time. Here, drugs worked their way inexorably through a group of friends, year after year, for nearly a decade. In one family, loss piled upon tragic loss until almost no one was left.
##### Post Reports
### What drug overdoses did to my hometown
Every time producer Jordan-Marie Smith would visit her hometown, it felt like another kid she knew from high school had died from a drug overdose. She went back home to investigate, along with reporter Lenny Bernstein.
The deaths shattered families and shook the worldview of parents who believed the drug subculture affected other peoples children. Many are still mystified at how addiction invaded the fortress they had tried to construct from comfortable homes and good schools.
Some have sought to find meaning in their childrens deaths, urging the community to acknowledge the drug crisis in its midst and take steps to prevent more young people from dying.
“It was getting to the point that we couldnt ignore it anymore,” said Maria Rodriguez-Cue, whose son, Mingo, died in 2017, at age 22. “You could pretend that this couldnt happen to you … \[but\] it could happen to any of us. And it continues to happen.”
There is no single explanation for the run of deaths. Each teen seemed to follow his or her own path to substance use, propelled by trauma, depression, boredom, hopelessness or poor self-esteem — lost to the easy availability of drugs and a susceptibility to addiction.
The dead are nearly all boys and nearly all White. Eight were good friends, or friends of friends, a typical crowd that coalesced by eighth grade at St. Peter Catholic School, or early in one of two public high schools. They were a few years apart in age, but connected in some way. They palled around, spent nights at each others homes, played ball together.
When drugs took over their lives, some accumulated criminal records, mostly for charges such as possession and driving under the influence, the kinds of offenses that accompany substance use disorder.
In a 2008 photo of the St. Peter seventh- and eighth-grade basketball teams, three of the 18 boys pictured are now dead. Two other teammates not shown also have died.
![](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)
![](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)
Beyond the core group of friends, Greenville lost eight more to overdoses, including Megan McPhail in 2014; Kennedy Wainright in 2015; Kyle Griffin and Michael Suggs, who overdosed on the same night in 2016. In the months since the reporting for this story began, Haylee McArthur and Raducanu “Ryan” Nease also died after overdoses.
“It came and it took them,” said Joe Hughes, the former St. Peter basketball coach and history teacher who spoke at three funerals and attended five others. “It just, it took them.”
On the Friday of Lacys memorial, Ellie called her other brother, Alex, to tell him about Jacksons overdose. They went to the service to mourn Lacy, making excuses for Jacksons absence. Numb, Ellie remembers little of the ceremony, where family and friends grieved a tiny newborn they were told had succumbed to sudden infant death syndrome — an explanation that would later become more complicated.
After the memorial, Ellie and Alex told other family members about Jackson. Then they went to the hospital and found their brother with tubes and wires protruding from his body at all angles. Bloody gauze littered the hospital room floor. A priest had been called to administer last rites.
For five days, Jacksons mother, Fran Laughinghouse, let his friends come say goodbye. She also hoped to scare the hell out of them.
That worked for some of Jacksons friends, who “realized that it could have also just as easily been them,” and veered away from drugs, Ellie said.
For others, the drugs grip was too strong.
Alex Laughinghouse, Ellies only surviving sibling, was one of them. Five years after Lacy and Jackson passed away, their father found Alex at his home with a needle nearby, dead from an overdose of heroin, fentanyl and other drugs. He was two days shy of his 25th birthday.
To friends and family, it was unfathomable that someone with Alexs gifts had died this way. “Alex was the most charismatic person Ive ever encountered to this day, and I still find myself envious of his ability to connect with people,” said Chase Smith, a friend in recovery from opioid addiction.
But that was not enough to save him. Alex had 11 drugs, as well as alcohol, in his blood when he died, according to the toxicology report that accompanied his autopsy. By then, he had struggled for years with addiction and depression, and been in and out of rehab.
Shortly before the overdose, Ellie recalled, she had told her brother she was pregnant. He was excited. And terrified. I just really hope that she has your blood, ” she recalled him saying. “Hes like, I dont know whats in my blood, but its tainted and I dont know why I do the things I do.”
“And I remember telling him, Alex, we have the same blood. Youre not bad. Youre still good.
![](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)
## Drugs not hard to find in Greenville
Cut from table-flat cotton and tobacco fields, Greenville, a racially diverse city of about 90,000, has grown in recent decades. Its economy is strong, though its poverty rate is higher than the states average. There are a half-dozen pharmaceutical facilities in town, along with a medical center and East Carolina University, attended by 27,000 students. But [the university also has a party school reputation](http://www.piratemedia1.com/thehook/article_a05c7ec6-f984-11e8-b4b7-17139607e5c9.html?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template) and drugs are easy to come by, many said.
“If you want to be into that kind of stuff, its not hard to find,” said Ricky Rodriguez-Cue, Mingos younger brother.
Deaths from drug overdoses in Greenville, as in most of the country, have been on a sharp upswing for more than a decade, largely the destructive work of fentanyl and heroin. There were [53 overdose deaths in the city and surrounding Pitt County,](https://www.ncdhhs.gov/opioid-and-substance-use-action-plan-data-dashboard?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template) total population about 172,000, in 2021, the most recent year for which data is available, and 64 the year before that. That rate is slightly higher than North Carolinas.
“For three or four years, it was awful in Greenville,” said Hughes, the St. Peter history teacher and coach. “There were kids dying all over the place. … And when theyre kids that you know, theyre kids that you taught, kids that you have a relationship with, its very haunting.”
The Laughinghouse family was prominent in the area for generations. Ellies grandfather sold tobacco. Her late father, Bill, ran a sod farm. Bill and Fran divorced when Ellie and her brothers, separated in age by just three years, were adolescents. Bill remarried and had a baby, Lacy, with his new wife, Jennifer.
The three older children spent much of their early years on the farm and were always close. Alex was the smartest kid in every class, Hughes said, and a superb all-around athlete despite his small size. Jackson was the daredevil who suffered three concussions in quick succession, two from dirt-bike accidents and a third in football practice.
They built tree forts, rode dirt bikes, and played football, basketball and video games, one friend recalled.
Ellie, now 31 and married, was like a second mom to the boys. She sometimes wears a bracelet with two tiny compartments that hold bits of their ashes. She also has a locket with some of Lacys, and another with more of Jacksons.
As most remember it, the pills began to show up when the group was in eighth grade or early in high school. It began with prescription opioids, which were in many medicine cabinets at the time, before parents understood how dangerous they could be. Parties were thrown at homes when parents were out of town or at the Laughinghouse farm, friends of the dead boys remembered.
“It was cliche, but it was all fun at first,” Chase said. “Youve got a problem before you know it — not as a figure of speech, but literally. It wasnt until I was experiencing symptoms of withdrawal that I realized I had a problem.”
The brothers traveled different roads to the same end. Jackson was a more casual user, their mother said. Alex was more typical of someone with full-blown addiction.
“He got started on the pills and stole from me and sold things, and took my debit card and wiped out my account and took a car,” said Fran, a traveling nurse.
“Jackson was my example of one pill can kill kind of thing, which is especially true now with the way fentanyl is.”
![](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)
## I want there to be a solution
Like Fran, other parents confronted the unthinkable. J.D. and Dawn Fletcher, a businessman and teacher**,** found their son dead in his room of a fentanyl overdose in 2019, after he had wrestled for years with addiction.
John Stuart Fletcher III, known to everyone as Stuart, had arrived at St. Peter during the sixth grade after a problem with a bully in public school. He was anxious and badly wanted to fit in at his new school, his mother recalled. A doctor prescribed clonazepam, which she did not realize could be addictive, for his anxiety. By seventh grade, he was also smoking marijuana.
As his addiction grew more severe, Stuart, the older of two brothers, wrecked cars, pawned family possessions and was caught stealing pills from a relative, his parents said. He managed to graduate high school but started using cocaine as well.
When the pills ran out and he couldnt afford to buy them on the street, he began using heroin, which is much less expensive but must be snorted, smoked or injected. A dealer stuck a gun in his face. He started carrying one of his own.
Once he started using heroin, Stuart survived just four months.
“I laid for 10 years in my bed, not sleeping at night because I knew I was going to get a phone call,” J.D. said. “ Come get him out of jail. Come get him out of the ditch. Come get him out of the morgue.
“I want there to be a solution to this. I want to be able to figure out one,” said Dawn, who in her grief has attempted suicide. “Thats why were doing this interview is because we want to help.”
Stuart and Mingo were close friends, at times inseparable. Mingo was the kind of guy who showed genuine empathy to classmates with a problem, who saw the good in everyone. His mother, Maria, described how he could approach a total stranger just to say how “great” she was. But his own troubles kept multiplying.
Mingo was forced out of a treatment program for breaking the rules just three days before he died of a fentanyl overdose in 2017. Maria had spent those days babysitting her son, afraid to let him out of her sight. She left for a few hours to run errands. Mingo was dead when she and Ricky returned to his apartment.
“His last two years, he was in and out of rehab and trying to get his life together,” Maria remembered. “His friends finished school. So hes sitting there with this green folder in front of him on the coffee table in this little apartment … and we were going through it, you know, all the things he had to do to get his life back on track. And I can just see how he had given up. He was like it was just too much. It was just too much.”
![](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)
## Survivors burden
Some of the young men who escaped their friends fate have trouble figuring out why, or how. Jacob Harding went to treatment and is now in medical school at ECU. Cole Thomason and Chase Smith found enough strength through faith.
“Chance,” said Chase. He believes his odds of dying were no better or worse than his friends. “You could easily, accidentally, receive a fatal dose of fentanyl by pure chance.”
Their community has been irrevocably changed by the deaths. Diannee Carden-Glenn opened a harm-reduction program after the overdose death of her son, Mike, part of which she funds herself. She hands out clean syringes, fentanyl test strips and other materials that help keep users alive.
The [Pitt County Coalition on Substance Use](https://www.pccsu.org/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template) advocates prevention and awareness of the drug problem. East Carolina University sponsors a [recovery community](https://collegiaterecovery.ecu.edu/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template) on campus. The sheriff has a program to treat users who are jailed and keep them sober when they get out.
Maria Rodriguez-Cue, Fran Laughinghouse and other mothers have become activists, refusing to allow their childrens deaths, or Greenvilles drug problem, to fade from the communitys consciousness.
Richardson Sells mother and sister, Martha Elizabeth Garrett and Anna Sells, honor his memory by awarding a scholarship each year to a senior at J.H. Rose High School who plans to attend technical college, as Richardson had.
In July, Acadia Healthcare and ECU Health announced they would [jointly open a 144-bed facility](https://www.businesswire.com/news/home/20220719005438/en/Acadia-Healthcare-Forms-Joint-Venture-With-ECU-Health-to-Build-a-Modern-Behavioral-Health-Hospital-in-Eastern-North-Carolina?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template) to address a long-standing demand for more mental health beds here. A spokesman said the facility is not aimed at substance use, but would help patients with addiction disorders that sometimes accompany mental health problems.
Still, the burden of survival can sometimes be too much. Jacob, who began medical school this summer at 29, had gone to more than 10 friends funerals by the time he was 24. Now, he has lost 20 or 25 friends to drugs. He was particularly close with Alex. Both came from divorced families and were not as affluent as some of the other boys.
“There was one funeral where I just, I couldnt bear myself to see it … I still feel guilty over that sometimes.
“Its a lot of weight to carry around, losing so many people,” Jacob added. “I mean, its a weight that never really goes away.”
Cole, a close friend of Jacksons, was with him that night in 2013 when the younger Laughinghouses life came to an end. They went out together, took drugs, then bought cheeseburgers at a diner, and collapsed in Frans bed for the night, he said. He awakened the morning of Lacys memorial service to find that Jackson had choked on his own vomit during the night. Fran began screaming and pumping her sons chest. Cole ran next door in his underwear to get help from a neighbor who was also a nurse.
At 29, Cole mentors others struggling with addiction and owns an insurance company. But he still has night terrors and insomnia. He cant sleep with anyone on the left side of his bed, where Jackson was when it happened.
“We all kind of question why we did it,” he said. “Just about all of us were depressed, caught in between, didnt have a lot of guidance.” The 2008 financial crisis had taught them how quickly their familys security could disappear, he recalled.
“Why not get high if theres no hope? … We had no hope for the future. So we had fun with the present.”
Fran keeps a photo on her dresser that shows Alex and three other boys on prom night. Arms around each others shoulders, they are grinning, ready for the next chapters of their lives.
Cole is the only one still alive.
Now eight years sober, Cole said he has developed a strong religious faith. “I understand even though they are gone, they are not gone,” he said. “They live through me.”
![](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)
## The first drug death?
The death that crushed the Laughinghouse children nine years ago may not have been caused by SIDS, as many first believed. Shortly after Lacy died, the Pitt County Sheriffs Office received word from the state medical examiner that drugs had been found in the infants system.
A detective went to speak with her mother**,** who acknowledged taking prescription drugs during her pregnancy. She told Detective Priscilla Pippins that Lacy was a fussy child, and that she had alternated between breast and bottle feeding.
The autopsy called the cause of Lacys death “undetermined,” but noted there was enough anti-anxiety medication in her blood to kill her.
“The child was found face down on her sleeping surface and accidental suffocation cannot be excluded,” it reads. “The presence of alprazolam and diazepam at these concentrations and in the absence of breast feeding indicates improper administration of these drugs. … There is concern that these drugs caused or contributed to this death.”
As a result of that finding, Jennifer Laughinghouse, 38**,** faced a possible charge of involuntary manslaughter, said Sheriff Paula Dance. (Bill Laughinghouse was not home the night the child died. He was jailed under a program that allowed him to serve a penalty for driving under the influence a few days at a time.)
Three days after the report was completed, and with the case unresolved, Jennifer fatally overdosed on prescription drugs. Ellie and Fran believe her death was a suicide, though that is not specified in the autopsy report. Members of her family declined to be interviewed for this story, or did not return phone calls, emails and texts.
“Autopsy examination was remarkable for the presence of a lethal combination of alprazolam, diazepam, oxycodone, oxymorphone, temazepam and tramadol (and metabolites). This represents the cause of death,” Jennifers autopsy report reads.
Bill Laughinghouse, who struggled with alcoholism, diabetes and pancreas problems, died in 2020, family and friends said.
The ashes of the three Laughinghouse children, and of Jennifer and Bill, are in five adjacent niches in a columbarium at a local cemetery. Fran visits regularly. In July, she sat on the baking concrete at the base of the column where her childrens remains are stored, spoke to them and wept. “My faith and beliefs are strong that my boys are in a better place,” she said. “ … And Ill just live out the rest of my days on earth until I can be with them again. But I would never, ever wish for them to come back onto this earth full of pain.”
*If you or someone you know needs help with mental health or substance use issues, you can call the governments* [*National Helpline*](https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template) *at 1 800 662-HELP(4357). You can also reach the* [*National Suicide Prevention Lifeline*](http://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template) *at 988, or a crisis counselor by messaging the* [*Crisis Text Line*](https://www.crisistextline.org/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template) *at 741741.*
##### About this story
Editing by Carol Eisenberg. Photo editing by Bronwen Latimer. Video editing by Jayne Orenstein. Design and development by Hailey Haymond. Design editing by Madison Walls. Copy editing by Thomas Heleba.
*Razzan Nakhlawi contributed to this report.*
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# E-commerce giants couldnt deliver. So these islanders built their own online shopping ecosystem
After a morning spearfishing in the lagoon, 20-year-old fisherman Turoa Faura rode home on his red tricycle, carrying his young nephew in the rusty basket affixed to the back. On the patio of his aunts house, he shared photos on his phone of his fishing exploits: bright blue parrotfish, yellow-lip emperors, silvery trevallies, and a cooler full of tiny, rose-colored *eina****a* — a seasonal delicacy.
Faura is tall and well-built, with bleached blond highlights in his black hair. When *Rest of World* met him in December 2021, he wore a white T-shirt featuring a large black Adidas logo, which he had recently purchased online using his smartphone. 
Shopping online and getting the T-shirt delivered to the island where he lives was a new experience for Faura. “I began ordering online this year,” he told *Rest of World*. “At the start of the year, I still didnt know that I could order online myself.” Hes also used online shopping to buy fishing gear and sports equipment.
Faura lives in Manihi, a remote coral atoll in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. It is one of 118 atolls and islands that make up French Polynesia, an overseas collectivity of France that has its own government and is considered semi-autonomous. The islands are scattered over more than 3,500 square kilometers of ocean — an area [five times as large](https://www.britannica.com/place/French-Polynesia) as the French mainland. 
From the air, Manihi looks ephemeral: a tiny ring of sand that might be washed away at any moment, surrounded by endless shades of blue. The atoll, itself made up of many small islands arranged around a lagoon, is just 27 kilometers long and 8 kilometers wide, with its highest point 9 meters above sea level. It has a population of less than 1,000, with most inhabitants, including Faura, living in the main village of Turipaoa. Life here can be difficult. Well-paying jobs are few and far between, and residents are reliant on cargo ships from Tahiti, French Polynesias largest island, to bring necessities.  
The luxury of online shopping and home delivery, considered indispensable by many in the West, has long been out of reach for remote islanders like Faura. Theres no Amazon same-day delivery or Alibaba shipping to Manihi, and Turipaoa has only three small shops, which mostly sell food and essentials. There are no restaurants, hardware stores, or clothing shops that sell sought-after brands like Adidas.
Until recently, huge distances, a scattered population, and lack of internet access have made e-commerce unviable in French Polynesia. In the last few years, however, a nascent courier scene has taken off, making it possible for islanders to access an ocean of e-commerce products that were previously unavailable. As the global online shopping market continues to grow — a trend that has been augmented by the Covid-19 pandemic — local services are closing the last gaps for those living in some of the worlds most remote places.
![](https://149346090.v2.pressablecdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/E-COMMERCE20220326_0057-40x27.jpg)
20-year-old fisherman Turoa Faura lives in Manihi, a remote coral atoll in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.
![](https://149346090.v2.pressablecdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/E-COMMERCE20220326_0042-1-40x27.jpg)
He recently began shopping online, as local couriers started making e-commerce accessible to French Polynesias islands over the last few years.
![](https://149346090.v2.pressablecdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/E-COMMERCE20220326_0045-40x27.jpg)
“I began ordering online this year,” Faura told Rest of World. “At the start of the year, I still didnt know that I could order online myself.”
---
**In 2017, Moanatea** Henriou was 26 years old and in his sixth year of working as a riot policeman in France. The pay was great, and life was comfortable, but there was something missing. He yearned to be with his children and his family. He craved the warm climes and jagged mountain peaks of his *fenua*, his island home — Tahiti.  
And so, in January 2018, Henriou moved back to Tahiti, ready to start his life again from scratch. When his brother suggested he start a small business delivering goods to people on the islands, he went for it. He borrowed some money to buy a cheap motorized scooter, started a Facebook business page, and called his company [HM Coursier Express](https://www.facebook.com/hmcoursier/)  “HM” for his initials, and “coursier” meaning “courier” in French.   
On the HM Coursier Express Facebook page, customers can access a list of services and prices, receive updates on special offers, and leave reviews. Facebook was a natural choice for Henriou to reach his market: it is the leading social network in French Polynesia, with 74% of the population [on the platform](https://www.service-public.pf/dgen/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2020/11/2020-09-26-DGEN-USAGES-MENAGES-LOW.pdf) and half of those using it daily for more than an hour. 
To place an order, customers send a request through Facebook Messenger. HM Coursier Express offers to source and deliver anything a customer might want — from fresh fruit and vegetables to clothing or even a car. The companys couriers shop for the products, package them, and then ship them by air or cargo ship. HM Coursier Express also handles online order deliveries for many local businesses. 
When Henriou set up his Facebook page, there were only a couple of other couriers operating in French Polynesia. 
“In the beginning, everyone made fun of me, especially my old friends from Paea \[the Tahitian commune Henriou is from\] because I had a good situation before that,” Henriou told *Rest of World*. “When they saw that I was back, they felt sorry for me because I was a delivery man.”
Delivery in French Polynesia poses a particular logistical challenge. But homegrown courier services exist in other hard-to-reach places, particularly in countries where e-commerce giants like Amazon and Alibaba dont hold much sway. In Fiji, for instance, a Pacific country with over 300 islands, local courier service [All Freight Logistics Fiji](https://www.facebook.com/allfreightlogisticfiji/) offers online door-to-door delivery and other transportation services.
Even within the U.S., delivery to remote areas, such as some parts of Hawai****i, isnt clear-cut. Amazon does not offer priority shipping to P.O. boxes in Hawai****i and has restrictions on package sizes; some addresses in the Hawai****ian islands are not eligible to receive shipments from Amazon at all. In Alaska, meanwhile, a local courier service called [Eagle Raven Global](https://eagleravenglobal.com/services#f611744a-4194-43f8-8c52-37aa702cd9c9) goes to some of the places the e-commerce giants dont, using a network of maritime cargo ships to deliver goods to communities in the southeast of the state, such as Hoonah and Gustavus.  
> “The courier business exploded, thanks to Covid, because the people didnt want to leave their houses.”
Henrious first client was a small dress business in Tahiti; he delivered dresses and small packages to its customers. Other clients soon began to discover his services through Facebook and word of mouth. Local businesses wanted a middleman to deliver their goods, while families on the islands messaged Henriou with their grocery shopping lists: 1 bottle of ketchup, 4 packets of rice, a carton of frozen chicken. Hed jump on his scooter, buy or collect the goods from the store, then package and take them to the airport or a cargo ship to be delivered to their final destination.
In the early days, Henriou and his girlfriend worked from sunup to late in the night every day — building contacts, promoting their services, and purchasing and delivering goods. “There was no paid leave, no rest, nothing like that,” said Henriou. “I still remember my first months pay. It was 20,000 Central Pacific francs, or $200. Thats nothing, nothing at all.”
HM Coursier Express initially delivered anywhere: within Tahiti, to other islands, and also abroad. In the first year, Henriou built up a client base of Tahitians in France, including many serving in the military. They wanted products from home: Arnotts Sao crackers, canned corned beef, and clothing from Tahitian brands like Hinano and Enjoy Life. Henriou soon realized, however, that sending abroad wasnt sustainable; the shipping often cost much more than the products themselves, and the fee that HM Coursier Express charged barely covered his overheads.
At first, the business used an honor system for payments. HM Coursier Express would pay for a customers order and shipping up front, and the customer would pay it back when their package arrived safely. But after a while, more people started taking advantage: once they had received their package, theyd disappear, and Henriou would be left with a deficit. Now, the company asks for a deposit when customers place their order. 
By August 2018, Henriou had scraped together enough money to buy a small pickup truck, and, in December that year, he took out a loan to buy a used van. With an increase in customers, HM Coursier Express was able to hire its first employee, Vatea Fare Bredin, now director of operations.  
Then, throughout 2020, the Covid-19 pandemic led to a boom in the demand for e-commerce delivery services. Compared to 2017, the number of internet users in French Polynesia making purchases online at least once a week doubled from 5% to 10%, according to a [2019 report](https://www.service-public.pf/dgen/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2020/11/2020-09-26-DGEN-USAGES-MENAGES-LOW.pdf) by the Digital Economy Directorate in French Polynesia. In the outer islands, that number rose from 1% to 9%. Henriou expanded HM Coursier Express again and hired several new employees. 
“The courier business exploded, thanks to Covid, because the people didnt want to leave their houses,” Henriou told *Rest of World*. “Everyone stayed at home; they were scared.” Every day, Henriou would work to deliver orders both within Tahiti and to the other islands. “Everyone was scared of catching the virus; but us, we could move; we could deliver, and we were already doing it,” he said. Thanks to a boom in trade, he was able to hire three new team members, who still work for the company.
![](https://149346090.v2.pressablecdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/E-COMMERCE20220223_0002-40x27.jpg)
Moanatea Henriou started the delivery business HM Coursier Express in 2018.
![](https://149346090.v2.pressablecdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/E-COMMERCE20220324_0011-40x27.jpg)
Customers place orders through HM Coursier Expresss Facebook page, where they also list services, prices, and product updates.
![](https://149346090.v2.pressablecdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/E-COMMERCE20220324_0014-40x27.jpg)
The company offers to source and deliver anything a customer might want — from fresh fruit and vegetables to clothing or even a car.
---
**In February 2022,** Henriou invited *Rest of World* to join him on a scooter run for HM Coursier Express. Before he left, he met the rest of the team at its base in the backstreets of Faaā, a busy urban district adjacent to Papeete, French Polynesias capital. Two vans and multiple scooters were parked in its concrete lot, alongside a storage area holding some packing materials and a few surplus supplies, like crates of Hinano beer.  
Once customers have sent HM Coursier Express a list using Facebook Messenger of items they want and the stores they want them from, HM Coursier offers a quote for the order and asks them to pay a deposit, usually by bank transfer. Payments have posed a barrier to e-commerce in French Polynesia: many physical banks are inaccessible, especially to those living in the outer islands. Even banks that can be reached often charge fees to hold an account. Owning a visa card is expensive and limited to those with comfortable salaries. Instead, many islanders open bank accounts through the post offices, which offer free accounts and are the only banks to have a physical presence on most of the outer islands. HM Coursier Express has a post bank account that allows people to transfer money online from other post accounts. 
Once the deposit is received, orders are organized according to destination and passed on to each driver via the iPhone Notes app, which is synced across the teams devices. One driver usually takes a scooter and specializes in small deliveries, such as paperwork and documents. The other two or three drivers travel from store to store. Customers pay a flat rate of 1,500 francs ($14) per order, which includes a trip to one store; each additional store added incurs an extra fee.  
*Rest of World*s visit in February coincided with the off-season and a slower day than usual for the couriers, so Henriou had only a few small packages to pick up. Heading off on his scooter, he zipped through a traffic jam into town.
The first stop was a womens clothing store that sold brightly colored outfits covered in tropical flowers. It was located in an area next to the central market, notorious for a lack of parking and one-way streets. Henriou deftly parked his scooter and headed into the store. He then ran on foot to a nearby art gallery to pick up another package and stopped at the Nike store to buy some shoes. It seemed like he knew everyone; at one store, the owner mentioned that a rival courier had come into her shop earlier offering their services at a reduced price.  
The shopping done, it was back on the scooter. Henriou made another quick stop at the base in Faaā to pack the goods in white plastic and mark them with customers names. Then, he went straight to the air freight terminal at Faaā International Airport.
Light orders, such as clothing or perishable items, including fresh fruit and even McDonalds meals, are sent by plane. HM Coursier Express offers its customers a 30% reduction on the price of air freight, a discount it earned from Air Tahiti, thanks to the volume it delivers. In December, during the holiday period, the business delivers on average 3 metric tons of merchandise by air. 
Heavy goods, such as cars, building supplies, and canned food, are sent by cargo ships, which service all the archipelagos. These cargo ships are the lifeblood of French Polynesia, providing remote islanders with essentials, including food, petrol, and building materials. In the last few years, theyve also been transporting steadily increasing numbers of online orders made through courier services like HM Coursier.  
At the docks in Papeete, Viriamu Fougerouse, 26-year-old director of exportation, walks around checking over telescopic forklifts. His team services one cargo ship, the Mareva Nui, which brings supplies to 17 atolls in the Western Tuamotu archipelago (including Manihi). 
During the Covid-19 lockdown from late March until August 2020, when international flights and many interisland flights stopped, the cargo ships became even more crucial, Fougerouse told *Rest of World.* “There were no more planes, but the boats never stopped. The boats always kept going,” he said. “If we didnt have these boats here, the people would die of hunger. At that time \[2020\], we saw that the planes — they might stop, but the boats never will.” 
![](https://149346090.v2.pressablecdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/E-COMMERCE20220224_0026-40x27.jpg)
Cargo ships are the lifeblood of French Polynesia, transporting essentials such as food, petrol, and building materials.
![](https://149346090.v2.pressablecdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/E-COMMERCE20220326_0039-40x27.jpg)
In the last few years, theyve also been transporting increasing numbers of online orders for companies like HM Coursier.
![](https://149346090.v2.pressablecdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/E-COMMERCE20220324_0017-40x27.jpg)
Heavy orders, such as cars, building supplies, and canned food, are sent between the island by those cargo ships.
![](https://149346090.v2.pressablecdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/E-COMMERCE20220325_0034-40x27.jpg)
Light items, such as clothing or perishables, are sent between the islands by plane.
---
**Today, HM Coursier** Express has evolved to meet the unique needs of the local market: its part personal shopping assistant, part Uber Eats, and part FedEx. The business has four full-time employees and three vans. It usually has a minimum of 30 client orders per day, a number that rises to over 100 in the lead-up to Christmas and the New Year.
But building a sustainable business has proved difficult. In 2021, Henriou took a job as an immigrations officer at Faaā International Airport, a respected position that offered a stable income and regular hours. He still works on HM Coursier when he can but has left much of the business of running the company to Fare Bredin and is hoping to sell the company to a family member. The business had an annual turnover of 5 million francs ($46,000) in 2020. 
“At the beginning, I made a lot of money because it was just for me and my girlfriend,” Henriou told *Rest of World*. “Now we employ people … and theres insurance to pay, telephone bills, and many, many other expenses, in fact. But were a company now that promotes local employment. Thats great. At least Im feeding families.”
John Tehuritaua, head of the international arm of French Polynesias Chamber of Commerce, Industry, Services and Trades, said that making e-commerce work on the islands is a challenge, owing to the lack of transportation options, which leads to high costs and delays. “People in other countries wait less than 24 hours to have their goods in front of them,” he told *Rest of World*. “If you send goods to and from Tahiti, it can take two to three weeks. … You cant confirm to your customer the day theyll receive the goods.”
> “People in other countries wait less than 24 hours to have their goods in front of them. If you send goods to and from Tahiti, it can take two to three weeks.”
One peculiarity of delivering e-commerce to Polynesias islands is market size: while more than two-thirds of French Polynesias population live on Tahiti, the rest — fewer than 100,000 people — are spread between the remaining 65 inhabited islands. For most e-commerce companies, delivering to outer islands in French Polynesia just isnt worth the cost.  
But while that kind of geographic distribution may be unworkable for e-commerce giants like Amazon, JD.com, and Alibaba, the lack of mainstream options has allowed small, local e-commerce couriers to fill the void. Across French Polynesia, HM Coursier Express has spawned copycats, and a wider ecosystem of courier businesses has developed. In 2022, there are close to 40 similar courier services, although many pop up and then disappear.  One of the attractions of starting a courier business is the low barrier to entry: all you need is a vehicle, an internet connection, and a willingness to put in the hard work. Most couriers function over Facebook or WhatsApp, but many are also exploring other online platforms, such as Telegram and TikTok, to promote their businesses and interact directly with their client base.
Thomas Tihopu, a 26-year-old delivery driver, started rival courier business Caddy Xpress Coursier with a friend, after they both lost their jobs at a car rental company, due to the pandemic lockdown and subsequent tourist ban in 2020.  
![](https://149346090.v2.pressablecdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/E-COMMERCE20220224_0027-40x26.jpg)
Tihopu is often busy handling customer service, packing goods, and filling out freight papers. All the while, hes also on his smartphone taking pictures of purchases and sending them to customers: a picture at the store, a picture of the receipt, a picture at the docks, packed and ready to go — proof that the merchandise is in mint condition.  
By providing constant updates using instant messaging platforms such as Telegram and WhatsApp, as well as offering same-day air deliveries, Tihopu hopes Caddy Xpress will stand out from bigger couriers like HM Coursier Express. “Were trying to be on top of it by just being more responsive,” he told *Rest of World.* “And trying to do everything live with the customer to make him feel like hes actually in the shop, doing his own shopping.”
For Tihopu, hes found work that he really enjoys: “This \[Caddy Xpress\] was the first time we actually worked for ourselves. And its a great feeling actually, its something that makes me want to keep on doing it. Ill probably never stop.”
In some of the more remote archipelagos, hyperlocal courier services are emerging to cater to specific islands and their needs. For example, some of the flights that stopped when the pandemic hit still havent recommenced. One of the islands affected is Ua Pou, in the Marquesas Islands — some of the most isolated islands in the world, around 1,400 kilometers from Tahiti. Known for their rugged, mountainous landscapes and distinct culture, the islands are serviced by two cargo ships.
Sisters Arlenda and Laina Valentin, who live in Ua Pou, both use courier services regularly. Arlenda, a schoolteacher and mother of two, tends to order school supplies and household goods. Laina, a secretary who recently had her first child, orders baby supplies. Both prefer to order via Facebook Messenger.
The planes that service the Marquesas stop at the main island of Nuku Hiva — not in Ua Pou. In the past, Ua Pou residents would have to travel by boat or helicopter to collect air deliveries, but, in 2020, a courier service called Nuku Transports launched: it operates solely in the Marquesas archipelago, mainly picking up freight from Nuku Hiva and transporting it by boat to the other islands.   
The Valentin sisters both agree that courier services have become indispensable. “Yes, they \[couriers\] are so important! Especially for us in the islands. And particularly for us because theres no more flights coming here,” said Laina.
Arlenda said that she liked using the couriers so that she didnt have to rely on other people: “Its important in the sense that I dont want to disturb my family or friends … that bothers me. Thats why I call the courier.”
> “\[Were\] trying to do everything live with the customer to make him feel like hes actually in the shop, doing his own shopping.”
---
**Back in Manihi,** at midday, a cargo ship called Dory arrived at the pass. Word quickly spread through the village. People began cruising in on tricycles and on foot to watch the ship drop anchor and begin unloading their wares. Locals sat under a tree, munching on long baguette sandwiches and gossiping. Workers unloaded shipping containers marked “frozen” and “refrigerated”: they held gas cylinders, bottles of water, and even an entire boat. Waiting to be packed back onto the ship were sacks of copra (dried coconut flesh), frozen fish, empty gas canisters, and pearl oyster shells. It was a frenzy of activity, but it worked like a finely oiled machine: the ships crew had clearly done this many times before.
A few hours after arrival, the ships captain set up a temporary office in an old shipping container in front of the Dory, and people formed a queue to give their names and documents and sign for their packages. They then headed to nearby open shipping containers to wait for their stuff. The most popular container was full of food. A couple of crew members pulled out cartons of Coke, cardboard boxes full of mangoes, and cartons of Hinano beer. They yelled out the names written on them, and a family member, often sent to pick up the groceries, picked up the orders and packed them into their tricycle to finally deliver home.
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# Ego is the Enemy: The Legend of Genghis Khan - Farnam Street
**In his book, [Ego is the Enemy](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1591847818/ref=as_li_qf_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=farnamstreet-20&creative=9325&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=1591847818&linkId=ea6830b2cd6dce2e3b20e3f5becde10b), Ryan Holiday tells the story of Genghis Khan and how his openness to learning was the foundation of his success.**
The legend of Genghis Khan has echoed through history: A barbarian conqueror, fueled by bloodlust, terrorizing the civilized world. We have him and his Mongol horde traveling across Asia and Europe, insatiable, stopping at nothing to plunder, rape, and kill not just the people who stood in their way, but the cultures they had built. Then, not unlike his nomadic band of warriors, this terrible cloud simply disappeared from history, because the Mongols built nothing that could last. Like all reactionary, emotional assessments, this could not be more wrong. For not only was Genghis Khan one of the greatest military minds who ever lived, he was a perpetual student, whose stunning victories were often the result of his ability to absorb the best technologies, practices, and innovations of each new culture his empire touched. In fact, if there is one theme in his reign and in the several centuries of dynastic rule that followed, its this: appropriation.
Under Genghis Khans direction, the Mongols were as ruthless about stealing and absorbing the best of each culture they encountered as they were about conquest itself. Though there were essentially no technological inventions, no beautiful buildings or even great Mongol art, with each battle and enemy, their culture learned and absorbed something new. Genghis Khan was not born a genius. Instead, as one biographer put it, his was “a persistent cycle of pragmatic learning, experimental adaptation, and constant revision driven by his uniquely disciplined and focused will.”
He was the greatest conqueror the world ever knew because he was more open to learning than any other conqueror has ever been.
Khans first powerful victories came from the reorganization of his military units, splitting his soldiers into groups of ten. This he stole from neighboring Turkic tribes, and unknowingly converted the Mongols to the decimal system. Soon enough, their expanding empire brought them into contact with another “technology” theyd never experienced before: walled cities. In the Tangut raids, Khan first learned the ins and outs of war against fortified cities and the strategies critical to laying siege, and quickly became an expert. Later, with help from Chinese engineers, he taught his soldiers how to build siege machines that could knock down city walls. In his campaigns against the Jurched, Khan learned the importance of winning hearts and minds. By working with the scholars and royal family of the lands he conquered, Khan was able to hold on to and manage these territories in ways that most empires could not. Afterward, in every country or city he held, Khan would call for the smartest astrologers, scribes, doctors, thinkers, and advisers—anyone who could aid his troops and their efforts. His troops traveled with interrogators and translators for precisely this purpose.
It was a habit that would survive his death. While the Mongols themselves seemed dedicated almost solely to the art of war, they put to good use every craftsman, merchant, scholar, entertainer, cook, and skilled worker they came in contact with. The Mongol Empire was remarkable for its religious freedoms, and most of all, for its love of ideas and convergence of cultures. It brought lemons to China for the first time, and Chinese noodles to the West. It spread Persian carpets, German mining technology, French metalworking, and Islam. The cannon, which revolutionized warfare, was said to be the resulting fusion of Chinese gunpowder, Muslim flamethrowers, and European metalwork. It was Mongol openness to learning and new ideas that brought them together.
As we first succeed, we will find ourselves in new situations, facing new problems. The freshly promoted soldier must learn the art of politics. The salesman, how to manage. The founder, how to delegate. The writer, how to edit others. The comedian, how to act. The chef turned restaurateur, how to run the other side of the house.
This is not a harmless conceit. The physicist John Wheeler, who helped develop the hydrogen bomb, once observed that “as our island of knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance.” In other words, each victory and advancement that made Khan smarter also bumped him against new situations hed never encountered before. It takes a special kind of humility to grasp that you know less, even as you know and grasp more and more. Its remembering Socrates wisdom lay in the fact that he knew that he knew next to nothing.
With accomplishment comes a growing pressure to pretend that we know more than we do. To pretend we already know everything. Scientia infla (knowledge puffs up). Thats the worry and the risk—thinking that were set and secure, when in reality understanding and mastery is a fluid, continual process.
The nine-time Grammy and Pulitzer Prizewinning jazz musician Wynton Marsalis once advised a promising young musician on the mind-set required in the lifelong study of music: “Humility engenders learning because it beats back the arrogance that puts blinders on. It leaves you open for truths to reveal themselves. You dont stand in your own way. . . . Do you know how you can tell when someone is truly humble? I believe theres one simple test: because they consistently observe and listen, the humble improve. They dont assume, I know the way.’”
No matter what youve done up to this point, you better still be a student. If youre not still learning, youre already dying.
It is not enough only to be a student at the beginning. It is a position that one has to assume for life. Learn from everyone and everything. From the people you beat, and the people who beat you, from the people you dislike, even from your supposed enemies. At every step and every juncture in life, there is the opportunity to learn—and even if the lesson is purely remedial, we must not let ego block us from hearing it again.
Too often, convinced of our own intelligence, we stay in a comfort zone that ensures that we never feel stupid (and are never challenged to learn or reconsider what we know). It obscures from view various weaknesses in our understanding, until eventually its too late to change course. This is where the silent toll is taken.
Each of us faces a threat as we pursue our craft. Like sirens on the rocks, ego sings a soothing, validating song— which can lead to a wreck. The second we let the ego tell us  we have graduated, learning grinds to a halt. Thats why Frank Shamrock said, “Always stay a student.” As in, it never ends.
The solution is as straightforward as it is initially uncomfortable: Pick up a book on a topic you know next to nothing about. Put yourself in rooms where youre the least knowledgeable person. That uncomfortable feeling, that defensiveness that you feel when your most deeply held assumptions are challenged—what about subjecting yourself to it deliberately? Change your mind. Change your surroundings
An amateur is defensive. The professional finds learning (and even, occasionally, being shown up) to be enjoyable; they like being challenged and humbled, and engage in education as an ongoing and endless process.
Most military cultures—and people in general—seek to impose values and control over what they encounter. What made the Mongols different was their ability to weigh each situation objectively, and if need be, swap out previous practices for new ones. All great businesses start this way, but then something happens. Take the theory of disruption, which posits that at some point in time, every industry will be disrupted by some trend or innovation that, despite all the resources in the world, the incumbent interests will be incapable of responding to. Why is this? Why cant businesses change and adapt?
A large part of it is because they lost the ability to learn. They stopped being students. The second this happens to you, your knowledge becomes fragile.
The great manager and business thinker Peter Drucker says that its not enough simply to want to learn. As people progress, they must also understand how they learn and then set up processes to facilitate this continual education. Otherwise, we are dooming ourselves to a sort of self-imposed ignorance.
Source: [Ego is the Enemy](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1591847818/ref=as_li_qf_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=farnamstreet-20&creative=9325&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=1591847818&linkId=ea6830b2cd6dce2e3b20e3f5becde10b) and used with permission from the author.
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Tag: ["🏕️", "🌡️", "🌳", "🌪️"]
Date: 2022-12-26
DocType: "WebClipping"
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Link: https://www.wired.com/story/climate-environment-hurricane/
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^button-ElNinoIsComingandtheWorldIsntPreparedNSave
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# El Niño Is Coming — and the World Isnt Prepared
In 2023, the relentless increase in global heating will continue, bringing ever more disruptive weather that is the signature calling card of accelerating climate breakdown. 
According to NASA, 2022 was one of the hottest years ever recorded on Earth. This is extraordinary, because the recurrent climate pattern across the tropical Pacific—known as ENSO (El Niño Southern Oscillation)—was in its cool phase. During this phase, called La Niña, the waters of the equatorial Pacific are noticeably cooler than normal, which influences weather patterns around the world.
One consequence of La Niña is that it helps keep a lid on global temperatures. This means that—despite the recent widespread heat waves, wildfires and droughts—we have actually been spared the worst. The scary thing is that this La Niña *will* end and eventually transition into the better-known El Niño, which sees the waters of the equatorial Pacific becoming much warmer. When it does, the extreme weather that has rampaged across our planet in 2021 and 2022 will pale into insignificance. 
Current forecasts suggest that La Niña will continue into early 2023, making it—fortuitously for us—one of the longest on record (it began in Spring 2020). Then, the equatorial Pacific will begin to warm again. Whether or not it becomes hot enough for a fully fledged El Niño to develop, 2023 has a very good chance—without the cooling influence of La Niña—of being the hottest year on record.
 A global average temperature rise of 1.5°C is widely regarded as marking a guardrail beyond which climate breakdown becomes dangerous. Above this figure, our once-stable climate will begin to collapse in earnest, becoming all-pervasive, affecting everyone, and insinuating itself into every aspect of our lives. In 2021, the figure (compared to the 18501900 average) was 1.2°C, while in 2019—before the development of the latest La Niña—it was a worryingly high 1.36°C. As the heat builds again in 2023, it is perfectly possible that we will touch or even exceed 1.5°C for the first time.
But what will this mean exactly? I wouldn't be at all surprised to see the record for the highest recorded temperature—currently 54.4°C (129.9°F) in California's Death Valley—shattered. This could well happen somewhere in the Middle East or South Asia, where temperatures could climb above 55°C. The heat could exceed the blistering 40°C mark again in the UK, and for the first time, top 50°C in parts of Europe.   
Inevitably, higher temperatures will mean that severe drought will continue to be the order of the day, slashing crop yields in many parts of the world. In 2022, extreme weather resulted in reduced harvests in China, India, South America, and Europe, increasing food insecurity. Stocks are likely to be lower than normal going into 2023, so another round of poor harvests could be devastating. Resulting food shortages in most countries could drive civil unrest, while rising prices in developed countries will continue to stoke inflation and the cost-of-living crisis.
One of the worst-affected regions will be the Southwest United States. Here, the longest drought in at least 1,200 years has persisted for 22 years so far, reducing the level of Lake Mead on the Colorado River so much that power generation capacity at the Hoover Dam has fallen by almost half. Upstream, the Glen Canyon Dam, on the rapidly shrinking Lake Powell, is forecast to stop generating power in 2023 if the drought continues. The Hoover Dam could follow suit in 2024. Together, these lakes and dams provide water and power for millions of people in seven states, including California. The breakdown of this supply would be catastrophic for agriculture, industry, and populations right across the region.
La Niña tends to limit hurricane development in the Atlantic, so as it begins to fade, hurricane activity can be expected to pick up. The higher global temperatures expected in 2023 could see extreme heating of the Atlantic and Gulf of Mexico surface waters. This would favor the formation and persistence of super-hurricanes, powering winds and storm surges capable of wiping out a major US city, should they strike land. Direct hits, rather than a glancing blow, are rare—the closest in recent decades being Hurricane Andrew in 1992, which made landfall immediately south of Miami, obliterating more than 60,000 homes and damaging 125,000 more. Hurricanes today are both more powerful and wetter, so that the consequences of a city getting in the way of a superstorm in 2023 would likely be cataclysmic.
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Tag: ["📟", "🌐", "🤳", "Musk"]
Date: 2022-05-01
DocType: "WebClipping"
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TimeStamp: 2022-05-01
Link: https://www.nytimes.com/2022/04/27/opinion/elon-musk-twitter.html
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^button-ElonMuskGotTwitterBecauseHeGetsTwitterNSave
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# Opinion | Elon Musk Got Twitter Because He Gets Twitter
Ezra Klein
April 27, 2022
![](https://static01.nyt.com/images/2022/04/27/opinion/27klein_1/27klein_1-articleLarge.jpg?quality=75&auto=webp&disable=upscale)
Credit...Illustration by the New York Times; photograph by Patrick Pleul/Picture Alliance, via Getty Images
Can Elon Musk break Twitter? I hope so.
Im not accusing Musk of being a sleeper agent. The man loves Twitter. He tweets as if he had been raised by the blue bird and the [fail whale](https://www.techopedia.com/definition/1987/fail-whale). Three days before locking in his purchase of the platform, Musk [blasted out](https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1517707521343082496) an unflattering photograph of Bill Gates and, next to it, an illustration of a pregnant man. “In case u need to lose a boner fast,” Musk, Times 2021 person of the year, told his more than 80 million followers. He believed Gates was shorting Teslas stock, and this was his response. It got over 165,000 retweets and 1.3 million likes. Thats a man who understands what Twitter truly is.
Jack Dorsey, a Twitter co-founder and former chief executive, always wanted it to be something else. Something it wasnt, and couldnt be. “The purpose of Twitter is to serve the public conversation,” he [said](https://www.intelligence.senate.gov/sites/default/files/documents/os-jdorsey-090518.pdf) in 2018. Twitter began “[measuring conversational health](https://blog.twitter.com/en_us/topics/company/2018/measuring_healthy_conversation)” and trying to tweak the platform to burnish it. Sincere as the effort was, it was like those [liquor ads advising moderation](https://publichealth.jhu.edu/2014/drink-responsibly-messages-in-alcohol-ads-promote-products-not-public-health). You dont get people to drink less by selling them whiskey. Similarly, if your intention was to foster healthy conversation, youd never limit thoughts to 280 characters or add like and retweet buttons or quote-tweet features. Twitter cant be a place to hold healthy conversation because thats not what its built to do.
So what is Twitter built to do? Its built to gamify conversation. As C. Thi Nguyen, a philosopher at the University of Utah, has [written](https://philpapers.org/rec/NGUHTG), it does that “by offering immediate, vivid and quantified evaluations of ones conversational success. Twitter offers us points for discourse; it scores our communication. And these gamelike features are responsible for much of Twitters psychological wallop. Twitter is addictive, in part, because it feels so good to watch those numbers go up and up.”
Nguyens core argument is that games are pleasurable in part because they simplify the complexity of life. They render the rules clear, the score visible. Thats fine when we want to play a game. But sometimes we end up in games or gamelike systems in which we dont want to trade our values for those of the designers and dont even realize were doing it. The danger, then, is what Nguyen calls “value capture.” That, he writes, comes when:
> 1\. Our natural values are rich, subtle and hard to express.
> 2\. We are placed in a social or institutional setting which presents simplified, typically quantified, versions of our values back to ourselves.
> 3\. The simplified versions take over in our motivation and deliberation.
Twitter takes the rich, numerous and subtle values that we bring to communication and quantifies our success through follower counts, likes and retweets. Slowly, what Twitter rewards becomes what we do. If we dont, then no matter — no one sees what were saying anyway. We become what the game wants us to be, or we lose. And thats whats happening to some of the most important people and industries and conversations on the planet right now.
Many of Twitters power users are political, media, entertainment and technology elites. They — we! — are particularly susceptible to a gamified discourse on the topics we obsess over. Its hard to make political change. Its hard to create great journalism. Its hard to fill the ever-yawning need for validation. Its hard to dent the arc of technological progress. Twitter offers the instant, constant simulation of doing exactly that. The feedback is immediate. The opportunities are infinite. Forget Max Webers “strong and [slow boring](https://www.vox.com/2016/7/11/12053146/max-weber-hillary-clinton) of hard boards.” Twitter is a power drill, or at least it feels like one.
At about this point, the answer probably seems obvious: Log off! One can, and many do. But it comes at a cost. To log off is to miss much that matters, in industries where knowing what matters is essential. Its become clichéd to say Twitter is not real life, and thats true enough. But it shapes real life by shaping the perceptions of those exposed to it. It shapes real life by shaping what the media covers. (Its not for nothing that The New York Times is now [urging reporters](https://www.niemanlab.org/2022/04/the-new-york-times-would-really-like-its-reporters-to-stop-scrolling-and-get-off-twitter-at-least-once-in-a-while/) to unplug from Twitter and re-engage with the world outside their screens.) It shapes real life by giving the politicians and business titans who master it control of the attentional agenda. Attention is currency, and Twitter is the most important market for attention that there is.
There is a reason that Donald Trump, with his preternatural gift for making people look at him, was Twitters most natural and successful user. And he shows how the platform can shape the lives of those who never use it. From 2017 to 2021, the White House was occupied by what was, in effect, a Twitter account with a cardiovascular system, and the whole world bore the consequences.
I am not a reflexive Musk critic. He has done remarkable things. He turned the electric car market from a backwater catering to hippies to the unquestioned future of the automobile industry, and he did so in the only sustainable way: He made electric cars awesome. He reinvigorated American interest in space and did so in the only sustainable way: by making rockets more awesome and affordable. Hes made huge investments in solar energy and battery innovation and at least tried to think creatively about mass transit, with investments in hyperloop and tunnel-drilling technology. He co-founded OpenAI, the most public-spirited of the big artificial intelligence shops.
Much of this has been built on the back of public subsidies, government contracts, loan guarantees and tax credits, but I dont take that as a mark against him: Hes the best argument in the modern era that the government and the private sector can do together what neither can achieve apart. If anything, I fear that Twitter will distract Musk from more important work.
Nor am I surprised that a résumé like Musks coexists with a tendency toward manias, obsessions, grudges, union-busting and vindictiveness. Extreme personalities are rarely on the edge of the bell curve only because of benevolence. But Twitter unleashes his worst instincts and rewards him, with attention and fandom and money — [so much money](https://www.readmargins.com/p/elons-giant-package) — for indulging them. That Musk has so capably bent Twitter to his own purposes doesnt absolve him of his behavior there, any more than it absolved Trump. A platform that heaps rewards on those who behave cruelly, or even just recklessly, is a dangerous thing.
But far too often, thats what Twitter does. Twitter rewards decent people for acting indecently. The mechanism by which this happens is no mystery. Engagement follows slashing ripostes and bold statements and vicious dunks. “Im frustrated that Bill Gates would bet against Tesla, a company aligned with his values,” is a lame tweet. “Bill Gates = boner killer” is a viral hit. The easiest way to rack up points is to worsen the discourse.
Twitter has survived, and thrived, because it has never been just what I have described here. Much of what can be found there is funny and smart and sweet. So many on the platform want it to be a better place than it is and try to make it so. For a long time, they were joined in that pursuit by Twitters executive class, who wanted the same. They liked Twitter, but not too much. They believed in it, but they were also a little appalled by it. That fundamental tension — between what Twitter was and what so many believed it could be — held it in balance. No longer.
Musks stated agenda for Twitter is confusing mostly for its modesty. Hes proposed an edit button, an open-source algorithm, cracking down on bots and doing … something … to secure free speech. I tend to agree with the technology writer Max Read, who [predicts](https://maxread.substack.com/p/elon-musk-wont-fix-twitter-but-he) that Musk “will strive to keep Twitter the same level of bad, and in the same kinds of ways, as it always has been, because, to Musk, Twitter is not actually bad at all.”
Musk reveals what he wants Twitter to be by how he acts on it. You shall know him by his tweets. He wants it to be what it is, or even more anarchic than that. Where I perhaps disagree with Read is that I think it will be more of a cultural change for Twitter than anyone realizes to have the master of the service acting on it as Musk does, to have the platforms owner embracing and embodying its excesses in a way no previous leader has done.
What will Twitter feel like to liberals when Musk is mocking Senator Elizabeth Warren on the platform he owns and controls as “[Senator Karen](https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1470858546153762819?s=20)”? Will they want to enrich him by contributing free labor to his company? Conservatives are now celebrating Musks purchase of the platform, but what if, faced with a deepening crisis of election disinformation, he goes into [goblin mode](https://www.axios.com/musks-goblin-mode-twitter-37ab7dfd-dd34-4494-acf7-5377af463a87.html) against right-wing politicians who are making his hands-off moderation hopes untenable or who are threatening his climate change agenda?
What will it be like to work at Twitter when the boss is using his account to go to war with the Securities and Exchange Commission or fight a tax bill he dislikes? Unless Musk changes his behavior radically, and implausibly, I suspect his ownership will heighten Twitters contradictions to an unbearable level. What would follow isnt the collapse of the platform but the right-sizing of its influence.
Or maybe not. Betting against Musk has made fools of many in recent years. But I count myself, still, as a cautious believer in Musks power to do the impossible — in this case, to expose what Twitter is and to right-size its influence. In fact, I think hes the only one with the power to do it. Musk is already Twitters ultimate player. Now hes buying the arcade. Everything people love or hate about it will become his fault. Everything he does that people love or hate will be held against the platform. He will be Twitter. He will have won the game. And nothing loses its luster quite like a game that has been beaten.
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---
Tag: ["📜", "🏰", "Theology", "🎨", "🇫🇷"]
Date: 2022-10-07
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Link: https://publicdomainreview.org/collection/despinque-anglicus-illuminations
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^button-EvrarddEspinqueIlluminationsNSave
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# Evrard d'Espinques Illuminations of *De Proprietatibus Rerum* (ca. 1480)
![](https://the-public-domain-review.imgix.net/collections/despinque-anglicus-illuminations/barthelemy-langlais-embed-1b.jpeg?&blur=1500&q=20)
Illumination by Evrard d'Espinque for Jean Borbechon's French translation of Bartholomaeus Anglicus' thirteenth-century *De Proprietatibus Rerum*, ca. 1480 — [Source](https://gallica.bnf.fr/ark:/12148/btv1b10532588f/f327.item.r=9140).
[](https://publicdomainreview.org/collection/despinque-anglicus-illuminations#0-0)
Bartholomaeus Anglicus, also known as Barthélémy l'Anglais and Bartholomew the Englishman, was a medieval scholar, monk, and politician. Born near the beginning of the thirteenth century in England (hence his name), he made a career abroad in continental Europes institutions of higher learning. Bartholomaeus started out studying and teaching in Paris as a member of an intellectual order devoted to the tradition of Aristotlelian reasoning called Scholasticism. Later, he went into politics, holding serious positions in Bohemia and Saxonia — regions around present-day Germany, Poland, and the Czech Republic — during the turbulent period when Mongols were invading Europe and Europeans were once again besieging Jerusalem.
[](https://publicdomainreview.org/collection/despinque-anglicus-illuminations#0-1)
In 1240, Bartholomaeus wrote a book about everything. Titled *De Proprietatibus Rerum* (On the Properties of Things), it was conceived as an encyclopedia of general knowledge. Across nineteen books, he traces the Great Chain of Being, a theory of all things that begins with God and runs through celestial beings, the soul, bodies (both human and heavenly), the elements, rocks and stones of the earth, animals, and the senses. *De Proprietatibus Rerum* is special for the rigor with which Bartholomaeus cites his sources. These include household names in the West like Plato and Aristotle, doctors and mathematicians from the Golden Age of Islam, such as Muhammad ibn Zakariya al-Razi of Persia, and those who translated scientific works to and from Arabic and Latin, like Constantine the African.
[](https://publicdomainreview.org/collection/despinque-anglicus-illuminations#0-2)
The Great Chain of Being was the dominant theory of all creation during the High Middle Ages, and the idea that Gods will permeates its every aspect in an intentional and patterned way was important to Bartholomaeus and his fellow medieval encyclopedists. You can see this patterning most clearly in the lush illustrations that accompany certain manuscripts of Bartholomaeus text. Among the loveliest of these is a French translation by Jean Corbechon, illuminated by the masterful Evrard d'Espinque. Made in the later fifteenth century, its heavy leather covers protect 392 leaves of parchment.
[](https://publicdomainreview.org/collection/despinque-anglicus-illuminations#0-3)
Evrard d'Espinques illuminations depict the world in a semi-abstracted way — and his simplified designs, as demonstrated by the map above, can be confusing to our contemporary eyes, since the decorative elements on the earths circumference (birds and water and ships) are embellishments to an otherwise precise and roughly correct rendering. If you look closely at this image, you will see four rivers flowing down from a glowing spot towards a faint “T”. The orb at their source is Eden, which contemporary scholarship thought was somewhere beyond India (medieval maps oriented the world with East at the top). The four rivers are the Pishon, Gihon, Tigris and Euphrates, which the same sources said flowed out of Eden and into the world. The three radial segments of the “T” represent bodies of water (the Don, the Nile, and the Mediterranean). As boundary lines, these three aqueous bodies divide the landmasses of this circular world. The bottom quadrants are Europe and Africa, with the top semicircle being Asia. The “O” and “T” shapes themselves had a symbolic meaning in this era, standing for *orbis terrarum* — “the lands of the earth”.
[](https://publicdomainreview.org/collection/despinque-anglicus-illuminations#img-0)
![Map illuminations](https://the-public-domain-review.imgix.net/collections/despinque-anglicus-illuminations/barthelemy-langlais-embed-2a.jpeg?fit=max&w=1200&h=850&blur=1500&q=20)Scroll through the whole page to download all images before printing.
Illuminations by Evrard d'Espinque for Jean Borbechon's French translation of Bartholomaeus Anglicus' thirteenth-century *De Proprietatibus Rerum*, ca. 1480. Left: a T-O map from the book titled *De aqua*; right: a T-O map from the book titled *De regionibus et provinciis* — Source: [left](https://gallica.bnf.fr/ark:/12148/btv1b10532588f), [right](https://gallica.bnf.fr/ark:/12148/btv1b10532588f).
[](https://publicdomainreview.org/collection/despinque-anglicus-illuminations#1-0)
Later in the same chapter, we can see the T-O shape repeated in [another illuminated diagram](https://gallica.bnf.fr/ark:/12148/btv1b10532588f/f351.item), this time of the seven classical planets, distributed in space according to the regions of the zodiac, which are placed in the outer area of the circle. At this maps center sits the earth. This does not mean that medieval scholars thought that the earth was at the center of our solar system. Instead, the illumination shows the planets as they appear in the night sky, which is the primary datum of western astrology. In Book XI, *De Aere* (“On the air and weather”), the [same little diagram](https://gallica.bnf.fr/ark:/12148/btv1b10532588f/f420.item) of the world appears again, also against an abstracted blue background that evokes a summer sky, this time illustrating a section of the text about the [four cardinal winds](http://www.imperium-romana.org/uploads/5/9/3/3/5933147/wind-diagrams-and-medieval-cosmology.pdf): septentrio, auster, favonius, and subsolanus. A zoomed-in and more elaborate T-O map is found in Book XIII, *De aqua* (“On water and fishes”). [Here](https://gallica.bnf.fr/ark:/12148/btv1b10532588f), the abstracted sea areas of the first map we saw have become specific waterways. A [similar symbolic map](https://gallica.bnf.fr/ark:/12148/btv1b10532588f/f510.item) appears in Book XI, *De regionibus et provinciis* (“On regions and places”). Instead of ships, now dEspinque shows land masses in and around the waterways — islands, mountains, and cities appear in miniature form as rocks, hills, and houses. These are not labeled or specified geographically, and instead decorate the earth in quick, elegant brushstrokes.
[](https://publicdomainreview.org/collection/despinque-anglicus-illuminations#1-1)
Patterning was inherent to the visual aspect of this kind of scholarship, particularly in the use of these circular diagrams that Naomi Reed Kline calls “rotae” to organize information. On one hand, a two dimensional circle instinctively relates to an orb in three dimensional space, helping medieval geographers to represent real space on the page in intuitive ways. But theres also a formalism to the circles, which illuminators used to illustrate everything from the zodiac to the clock to the earth to the cycle of Fortune. A bit like Cartesian coordinates for depicting graphs, or the spreadsheets which organize so much of our modern worlds most crucial data, [Kline describes these maps](https://books.google.fi/books?id=pv5Nb7KpWTgC&pg=PA10) as “circular wheels that made understandable, in simplified graphic manner, concepts that explained the way the world worked”. Bartholomeus and other encyclopedists like him, as well as their illuminators, such as the extraordinary Evrard dEspinque, collaborated to refine and elaborate this understanding of the worlds mechanics. It looks utterly unlike our visual representations of geography, with map keys and GPS coordinates, but these forms lie inside and underneath everything science has visualized since. Our world is still an orb, and we still draw planetary motion using circles and ellipses. Science runs along a Great Chain too.
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Date: 2022-11-27
DocType: "WebClipping"
Hierarchy:
TimeStamp: 2022-11-27
Link: https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2022/11/18/world/middleeast/extreme-heat.html
location:
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```button
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&emsp;
# Extreme Heat Will Change Us
**On a treeless street** under a blazing sun, Abbas Abdul Karim, a welder with 25 years experience, labors over a metal bench.
Everyone who lives in Basra, Iraq, reckons with intense heat, but for Abbas it is unrelenting. He must do his work during daylight hours to see the iron he deftly bends into swirls for stair railings or welds into door frames.
The heat is so grueling that he never gets used to it. “I feel it burning into my eyes,” he says.
Working outside in southern Iraqs scalding summer temperatures isnt just arduous. It can cause long-term damage to the body.
We know the risk for Abbas, because we measured it.
At these extreme temperatures, normal life is impossible. Ordinary activities can turn dangerous. Work slows. Tempers flare. Power grids fail. Hospitals fill up.
Yet what Abbas was experiencing wasnt a heatwave. It was just an average August day in Basra, a city on the leading edge of climate change — and a glimpse of the future for much of the planet as human carbon emissions warp the climate.
By 2050, nearly half the world may live in areas that have dangerous levels of heat for at least a month, including Miami, Lagos and Shanghai, according to projections by researchers at Harvard University and the University of Washington.
### Summers in many cities could resemble those in Kuwait City and Basra by 2050
#### Number of days with a heat index above 103°F
![](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhCgAKAIAAAB8fHwAAACH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAAKAAoAAAIIhI+py+0PYysAOw==)
Historic avg.
2050
Kolkata
171 dangerous days
per year by 2050
Karachi 133 days
Delhi 127 days
126
Manila 121 days
Mumbai 109 days
Lagos 103 days
87
Number of dangerous
days historically in Kuwait ...
Guangzhou 83 days
80
and Basra.
Houston 61 days
Dallas 51 days
45
Miami 41 days
39
36
Shanghai 32 days
Rio de Janeiro 23 days
19
Cairo 15 days
Atlanta 11 days
Perth 3 days
Rome 1 day
![](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhCgAKAIAAAB8fHwAAACH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAAKAAoAAAIIhI+py+0PYysAOw==)
Historic avg.
2050
Kolkata
171 dangerous days
per year by 2050
Karachi 133 days
Delhi 127 days
126
Manila 121 days
Mumbai 109 days
Lagos 103 days
Dangerous days
historically in
Kuwait ...
Guangzhou 83 days
and Basra.
Dallas 51 days
45
Miami 41 days
39
36
Shanghai 32 days
Rio de Janeiro
19
Cairo 15 days
Atlanta 11 days
Perth 3 days
Rome 1 day
![](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhCgAKAIAAAB8fHwAAACH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAAKAAoAAAIIhI+py+0PYysAOw==)
Historic avg.
2050
Kolkata
171 dangerous days
per year by 2050
Karachi 133 days
Delhi 127 days
126
Manila 121 days
Mumbai 109 days
Lagos 103 days
Dangerous days
historically in
Kuwait ...
87
Guangzhou 83 days
and Basra.
Dallas 51 days
45
Miami 41 days
39
36
Shanghai 32 days
Rio de Janeiro 23 days
19
Cairo 15 days
Atlanta 11 days
Perth 3 days
Rome 1 day
![](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhCgAKAIAAAB8fHwAAACH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAAKAAoAAAIIhI+py+0PYysAOw==)
Historic avg.
2050
Kolkata
171 dangerous days
per year by 2050
Karachi 133 days
Delhi 127 days
126
Manila 121 days
Mumbai 109 days
Lagos 103 days
87
Number of dangerous
days historically in Kuwait ...
Guangzhou 83 days
80
and Basra.
Houston 61 days
Dallas 51 days
45
Miami 41 days
39
36
Shanghai 32 days
Rio de Janeiro 23 days
19
Cairo 15 days
Atlanta 11 days
Perth 3 days
Rome 1 day
Source: Lucas Vargas Zeppetello, Harvard University; Adrian Raftery and David Battisti, University of Washington Note: Includes the 15 most populated cities in each continent. Historic number of dangerous days is the average between 1979 and 1998.
### Summers in many cities could resemble those in Kuwait City and Basra by 2050
#### Number of days with a heat index above 39°C
![](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhCgAKAIAAAB8fHwAAACH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAAKAAoAAAIIhI+py+0PYysAOw==)
Historic avg.
2050
Kolkata
171 dangerous days
per year by 2050
Karachi 133 days
Delhi 127 days
126
Manila 121 days
Mumbai 109 days
Lagos 103 days
87
Number of dangerous
days historically in Kuwait ...
Guangzhou 83 days
80
and Basra.
Houston 61 days
Dallas 51 days
45
Miami 41 days
39
36
Shanghai 32 days
Rio de Janeiro 23 days
19
Cairo 15 days
Atlanta 11 days
Perth 3 days
Rome 1 day
![](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhCgAKAIAAAB8fHwAAACH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAAKAAoAAAIIhI+py+0PYysAOw==)
Historic avg.
2050
Kolkata
171 dangerous days
per year by 2050
Karachi 133 days
Delhi 127 days
126
Manila 121 days
Mumbai 109 days
Lagos 103 days
Dangerous days
historically in
Kuwait ...
Guangzhou 83 days
and Basra.
Dallas 51 days
45
Miami 41 days
39
36
Shanghai 32 days
Rio de Janeiro
19
Cairo 15 days
Atlanta 11 days
Perth 3 days
Rome 1 day
![](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhCgAKAIAAAB8fHwAAACH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAAKAAoAAAIIhI+py+0PYysAOw==)
Historic avg.
2050
Kolkata
171 dangerous days
per year by 2050
Karachi 133 days
Delhi 127 days
126
Manila 121 days
Mumbai 109 days
Lagos 103 days
Dangerous days
historically in
Kuwait ...
87
Guangzhou 83 days
and Basra.
Dallas 51 days
45
Miami 41 days
39
36
Shanghai 32 days
Rio de Janeiro 23 days
19
Cairo 15 days
Atlanta 11 days
Perth 3 days
Rome 1 day
![](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhCgAKAIAAAB8fHwAAACH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAAKAAoAAAIIhI+py+0PYysAOw==)
Historic avg.
2050
Kolkata
171 dangerous days
per year by 2050
Karachi 133 days
Delhi 127 days
126
Manila 121 days
Mumbai 109 days
Lagos 103 days
87
Number of dangerous
days historically in Kuwait ...
Guangzhou 83 days
80
and Basra.
Houston 61 days
Dallas 51 days
45
Miami 41 days
39
36
Shanghai 32 days
Rio de Janeiro 23 days
19
Cairo 15 days
Atlanta 11 days
Perth 3 days
Rome 1 day
Source: Lucas Vargas Zeppetello, Harvard University; Adrian Raftery and David Battisti, University of Washington Note: Includes the 15 most populated cities in each continent. Historic number of dangerous days is the average between 1979 and 1998.
Just how bad it gets will depend on how much humanity curbs climate change. But some of the far-reaching effects of extreme heat are already inevitable, and they will levy a huge tax on entire societies — their economies, health and way of life.
While people in hot climates can build up tolerance to heat as their bodies become more efficient at staying cool, that can protect them only so much.
We measured heat and humidity for the scenes in this story to broadly show heat exposure. We also recorded other factors that determine physical risk, including sun exposure, wind and exertion. [See full methodology](https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2022/11/18/world/middleeast/extreme-heat.html#g-endmatter)
As we tracked the daily activities of people in Basra and Kuwait City, we documented their heat exposure and how it had transformed their lives.
What we saw laid bare the tremendous gap between those who have the means to protect themselves and those who do not. We also saw a still more unsettling reality: No one can escape debilitating heat entirely.
---
**Basra, Iraqs third-largest city,** has always been hot. But in the last few decades, Persian Gulf countries have warmed almost twice as fast as the global average, and more than many other parts of the world. The highest heat index recorded last summer was about 5°F higher than the peak value between 1979 and 1998, researchers at Harvard University estimate.
Now, the worst months of the summer are nearly unlivable.
One evening in August, a man rushed into the emergency room of a city hospital carrying his 8-year-old nephew, Mehdi, a diabetic who had collapsed in the street while playing in the heat.
Other families crowded into the waiting area with loved ones suffering from heat-related ailments.
Some had painful bites and stings from snakes and scorpions that had crawled into their houses — or even their shoes — to escape the heat.
Others, like this woman, arrived writhing from kidney stones. Chronic dehydration allows the stones to form more easily, a problem made worse by the high levels of salt in Basras drinking water.
![](https://int.nyt.com/data/videotape/finished/2022/10/mideast-heat/mideast_012-320w.jpg)
With the heat disorienting laborers, work accidents were also common, including broken bones, cuts and burns sustained when workers fell from scaffolding or mishandled their tools.
As the crowd grew, relatives of the sick and injured shouted, threatened, pushed and begged the policeman at the door to let them see a doctor.
By the time the doctor in charge went home at 2 a.m., the emergency ward had treated about 200 patients just on his shift, nearly all of them affected by the heat.
![](https://int.nyt.com/data/videotape/finished/2022/10/mideast-heat/mideast_013-320w.jpg)
II. ADAPTATION
## How Heat Distorts Daily Life
**Not long after** the emergency room doctor finished his shift, the heat roused Kadhim Fadhil Enad from sleep. His familys air-conditioner had stopped, and he found himself sweating in the dark.
High temperatures would govern the rest of his day. For him and many others in his city, the growing heat has turned workdays and sleep schedules upside down.
When Kadhim, 25, and his brother, Rahda, left for work just after 4 a.m., the air outside was a steam bath, so hot and humid that it felt like 114 degrees.
Kadhim and Radha work in construction as day laborers. In the sweltering summers of southern Iraq, that means racing to finish as much as possible before the sun comes up and ushers in the harshest heat of the day.
Across Basra and the wider Gulf region, peoples lives have been reshaped by the extreme heat.
Even if they can adapt their schedule, as Kadhim has, and start their job in the middle of the night, it is still so hot that exhaustion truncates the workday, reducing productivity and chipping away at earnings.
At a society-wide level, it means every project takes longer to get done.
And it makes doing anything else — from working a second job to going to school — doubly difficult.
Sports and social life start late and end later, meaning that many whose workday begins before dawn struggle with constant sleep deprivation.
The heat also wears on infrastructure, leading to power outages and contaminated water. People get sick. Emergency rooms fill up.
It is not just countries in the Gulf. Extreme heat is altering life across the globe, including in Pakistan, India, Tunisia, Mexico, central China and elsewhere. And the more temperatures rise, the greater the number of workers who will be affected.
Already, the effects of extreme heat add up to [hundreds of billions](https://phys.org/news/2022-01-climate-worsening-toll-humid-outdoor.html) of dollars in lost work each year worldwide.
To survive the heat, Basra residents try to adapt.
The day before, these garbage collectors said, three of their coworkers fainted, and one went to the hospital. All were dehydrated.
One told us he had a headache. Another was dizzy. All three moved as if in slow-motion.
Kadhim returned home around 9 a.m. exhausted and eager to rest in his familys air-conditioned living room. But as he cooled down, the women in his family began the hottest part of their day.
![](https://int.nyt.com/data/videotape/finished/2022/10/mideast-heat/mideast_022-320w.jpg)
In the kitchen, his mother, Zainab, cooked a giant pot of chicken and rice for a religious holiday. The room had neither air-conditioning nor a fan, but she and her daughters-in-law still wore traditional long black dresses that kept the heat in.
The gas flame and the steam from the pot turned the kitchen into a sauna. Zainab cooked in extremely dangerous temperatures — a heat index above 125 degrees — for more than an hour. Her risk of heat stroke was severe.
But Zainab felt obliged to keep cooking for the festival.
![](https://int.nyt.com/data/videotape/finished/2022/10/mideast-heat/mideast_023-320w.jpg)
“I told my family I did not want to do the cooking this year,” she said. “But they insisted.”
![](https://int.nyt.com/data/videotape/finished/2022/10/mideast-heat/mideast_024-320w.jpg)
III. INEQUALITY
## Money Cant Save You
**It was 5:30 a.m. in Kuwait City** when Abdullah Husain, 36, left his apartment to walk his dogs. The sun had barely risen, but the day was already so sweltering and the air so laden with vapor that it coated his body in a hot film, sticking his clothes to his skin.
![](https://int.nyt.com/data/videotape/finished/2022/10/mideast-heat/mideast_026-320w.jpg)
In the summer, he said, he has to get the dogs out early, before the asphalt gets so hot that it will burn their paws.
“Everything after sunrise is hell,” he said.
Abdullah, an assistant professor of environmental sciences at Kuwait University, lives a very different life from Kadhim in Basra. But both mens days are shaped by inexorable heat.
Basra and Kuwait City lie only 80 miles apart and usually have the same weather, with summertime temperatures climbing into the triple digits for weeks on end.
But in other ways, they are worlds apart.
Both places produce oil, but in Kuwait it has produced great wealth and provided citizens with a high standard of living.
This vast economic gap is never clearer than when it comes to how well people can protect themselves from the heat, a divide between rich and poor that is increasingly playing out across the globe.
Abdullah makes breakfast in an apartment cooled to 68 degrees. Kadhims mother toils in a kitchen nearly twice that temperature.
Abdullah drives to work on broad highways in an air-conditioned car. Kadhim walks to work on streets lined with swiftly rotting garbage.
Abdullah teaches at a heavily air-conditioned university. Even working at night, Kadhim cannot escape his heating world.
Kuwaits tremendous oil wealth allows it to protect people from the heat — but those protections carry their own cost, crimping culture and lifestyle alike.
So life has moved indoors.
People dont just shop at malls, they walk around them to exercise. Zoo animals live in air-conditioned cages. Children play indoors, rarely touching trees, grass or dirt.
Many Kuwaitis never step outside for longer than it takes to walk to their cars. The rest of life is air-conditioned: where they sleep, exercise, work and socialize.
That affects their health. Despite the abundance of sun, many Kuwaitis suffer from deficiencies of vitamin D, which the body uses sunlight to produce. Many are also overweight.
By the end of the century, Basra**,** Kuwait City and many other cities will most likely have many more dangerously hot days per year. Just how many depends on what humans do in the meantime.
According to forecasts by researchers at Harvard University, even if humans significantly reduce carbon emissions, by the year 2100, Kuwait City and Basra will experience months of heat and humidity that feel hotter than 103 degrees, far more than they have had in the last decade.
### Higher Emissions, More Dangerous Days by 2100
### Higher Emissions, More Dangerous Days by 2100
Estimates long into the future are inexact, but scientists agree that the situation will worsen — and could be catastrophic if emissions arent reined in. In that scenario, Miami, for instance, could experience dangerous heat for nearly half the year.
Source: Em Murdock and Lucas Vargas Zeppetello, Harvard University
Source: Em Murdock and Lucas Vargas Zeppetello, Harvard University
Abdullah, the professor, said most Kuwaitis dont think about the relationship between burning fossil fuels and the heat.
“People complain about it, but it is not something that registers action or a change of behavior,” he said. “They use it to tan or go to the beach, but if it is too hot, they stay home in the air-conditioning.”
And since atmospheric emissions dont respect borders, Kuwait City and Basra will continue to get hotter regardless of what they do, unless major emitters like the United States and China change course.
For now, Abdullah, like many Kuwaitis, spends his day moving between air-conditioned pockets.
The apartment he shares with two dogs and two cats is filled with plants that would quickly wither outside.
![](https://int.nyt.com/data/videotape/finished/2022/10/mideast-heat/mideast_035-320w.jpg)
He works out in a sleek gym with exposed piping, a juice bar and glass walls that show the desolation outside. In one direction, a lap pool with no one in it because it is too hot. In another, a grassy golf course, also empty. In yet another, an empty tennis court, baking in the sun.
Abdullah spent 13 years as a student in Oregon, and thinks back on all the people spending time outside walking, fishing and enjoying nature. Kuwait, he said, is a place that is much more resistant to environmentalists. He worries that in insulating themselves from the heat, Kuwaitis have lost touch with the natural world.
“No one really cares about what is outside their door,” he said. “And when it doesn't factor into their thought process, it doesnt even matter. They don't see it.”
![](https://int.nyt.com/data/videotape/finished/2022/10/mideast-heat/mideast_036-320w.jpg)
While Kuwaitis with the means can insulate themselves from the heat, their lifestyle depends on a caste system of sorts.
The bulk of the work needed to keep society running is done by low-paid foreign laborers from India, Bangladesh, Egypt and elsewhere. These include gardeners, herders, plumbers, construction workers, airport baggage handlers, air-conditioner repairmen, paramedics, ice cream vendors and trash collectors.
He brings a piece of cardboard to sit on and three frozen water bottles that he holds next to his body to try to keep cool. It doesnt really work.
“I go home completely finished off,” he said.
IV. THE FUTURE
## Can This Place Still Be a Home?
**Before Abbas,** the welder, was born in 1983, Basra was a greener, cooler city.
Expansive groves of date palms softened the temperature, and canals that irrigated Basras gardens earned it the nickname "the Venice of the East."
Many of those stately palm groves were being cut down when Abbas was a child, so many fewer remained when Kadhim, the construction worker, was growing up in the early 2000s. But even then, the city was still dotted with tamarisks, hearty shrubs that erupted yearly with pink and white flowers.
“It was a joy to see the street full of tamarisk trees and flowers,” Kadhim said. “Whenever you see green, you feel at peace.”
Now, most of those are gone too.
Archival footage: Cologne Film Heritage Foundation (Kölner Filmerbe Stiftung)
Without them, Basra has become a drab city of concrete and asphalt, which soaks up the sun and radiates heat long after sundown. Sewage and trash clog Basras canals, which now do little to moderate the scorching temperatures.
In the future, many people around the world will migrate to escape the heat. But there will most likely be many others who, like Abbas and Kadhim, lack the resources to make it to a greener country. And richer countries that have already tightened their borders will probably make immigration even more difficult as climate pressures increase.
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Date: 2022-09-02
DocType: "WebClipping"
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location:
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&emsp;
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^button-ExtrovertsdestroytheworldNSave
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# Extroverts destroy the world
**Extroverts are such a pain and a poison that we feel Virgil Starkwells agony when, in “Take the Money and Run,” he breaks the rules while working on a chain gang and “for several days he is locked in a sweatbox with an insurance salesman.”**
But in considering the more thoughtful personality type, Susan Cains new book, “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Cant Stop Talking” (Crown), demonstrates just how deep and disturbing is this plague of extroverts — the showoffs, risk-takers, salesmen, charmers, charlatans and politicians. They may not be responsible for all the evil in the world, but they did give us such pernicious results as Enron, Hollywood, the financial crisis, Washington, infomercials and Harvard Business School.
Cain traces the birth of the cult of extroversion back to 1913, when Dale Carnegie started publishing his success manuals. Carnegie (born Carnagey — he changed it, with the consummate skills typical of the extrovert, so as to create a spurious association with the tycoon Andrew Carnegie) took advantage of an America that was changing from a nation of farms and small towns, in which people tended to die not far from where they were born and everyone knew everyone. There was no need to sparkle or scintillate.
But big business demanded salesmen (like Carnegie), who hit the road and realized their core product was themselves. By 1920, more than a third of the population lived in cities filled with strangers. Workers realized getting promoted by bosses who didnt really know them could depend more on making a dazzling impression than the quality of their work. Historian Warren Susman said that a “culture of character” gave way to a “culture of personality” and “every American was to become a performing self.”
Susman noted that the qualities most often lauded in the advice manuals of the 19th century were “citizenship, duty, work, golden deeds, honor, reputation, morals, manners and integrity.” In the post-Carnegie era, these concepts were replaced by words such as “magnetic, fascinating, stunning, attractive, glowing, dominant, forceful and energetic.”
Substance, then, was being replaced with surface, and the era of B.S. had begun. Fast-forward a hundred years and you can see Carnegies descendants trained in the highest BS — HBS, or Harvard Business School. Cain visits the campus and discovers an island of the absurdly ebullient — overconfident, tricked-out show ponies born smiling, with business cards in their diapers. The schools emphasis on networking above studious reflection makes outcasts of, for instance, many brilliant but introverted Asian students who feel out of place in this cheerleader hell.
A student reveals how, at one team-building exercise that involved working on a plan to survive subarctic temperatures, “Our action plan hinged on what the most vocal people suggested. When the less vocal people put out ideas, those ideas were discarded. The ideas that were rejected would have kept us alive and out of trouble, but they were dismissed because of the conviction with which the more vocal people suggested their ideas.”
The HBS creature is both cause and effect of a business world where, Cain reports, a middle manager at GE once told her, “People here dont even want to meet with you if you dont have a PowerPoint and a pitch for them. Even if youre just making a recommendation to your colleague, you cant sit down in someones office and tell them what you think. You have to make a presentation.”
Showmanship rules. “We want to attract creative people,” one HR director at a major media company told Cain. Asked to clarify, the HR person said, “You have to be outgoing, fun, and jazzed up to work here.” So: no van Goghs need apply. Who wants to party with that drip?
At the far end of the extrovert pipeline is, for instance, the sludge that trickles out of Hollywood, where jazzed-up HBS-type executives spend millions for scripts that havent even been written (reading and writing being for boring, introverted twerps) based on how entertained they feel during a 15-minute pitch delivered by a writer/shill who wont be appearing in the movie. Back east, at Hollywood for ugly people, vapid politicians who achieved their rank based on their ability to remember the names of everyone theyve ever shaken hands with prove highly skilled at kicking problems down the road for the next coiffure-and-cufflinks huckster to avoid.
And guess who winds up running Enron, Lehman, Fannie Mae? Financier Boykin Curry described in Newsweek how the 2008 financial meltdown happened: “For 20 years, the DNA of nearly every financial institution . . . morphed dangerously. Every time someone at the table pressed for more leverage and more risk, the next few years proved them right . . . The cautious types were increasingly intimidated, passed over for promotion.”
Curry told Cain, “People who are congenitally more cautious and introverted and statistical in their thinking become discredited and pushed aside.”
Maybe we should stop thinking of extroverts as fun, lively enchanters and more as hollow, greasy pickpockets. At least thieves can steal only whatever valuables you have on you, though. Rarely do they clean out your 401(k).
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&emsp;
---
`$= dv.el('center', 'Source: ' + dv.current().Link + ', ' + dv.current().Date.toLocaleString("fr-FR"))`

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