main
iOS 4 months ago
parent 21c3ef7be6
commit 956064b725

@ -19,7 +19,7 @@
"601d1cc7-a4f3-4f19-aa9f-3bddd7ab6b1d": {
"locked": false,
"lockedDeviceName": "iPhone",
"lastRun": "2024-07-05T07:14:44+02:00"
"lastRun": "2024-07-19T07:15:52+02:00"
}
}
}

@ -12,8 +12,8 @@
"checkpointList": [
{
"path": "/",
"date": "2024-07-05",
"size": 17027173
"date": "2024-07-19",
"size": 8765155
}
],
"activityHistory": [
@ -3642,7 +3642,63 @@
},
{
"date": "2024-07-05",
"value": 1453
"value": 2064
},
{
"date": "2024-07-06",
"value": 2224
},
{
"date": "2024-07-07",
"value": 250309
},
{
"date": "2024-07-08",
"value": 4422
},
{
"date": "2024-07-09",
"value": 1683
},
{
"date": "2024-07-10",
"value": 31085
},
{
"date": "2024-07-11",
"value": 1665
},
{
"date": "2024-07-12",
"value": 2841
},
{
"date": "2024-07-13",
"value": 2548
},
{
"date": "2024-07-14",
"value": 1778
},
{
"date": "2024-07-15",
"value": 8823126
},
{
"date": "2024-07-16",
"value": 5670
},
{
"date": "2024-07-17",
"value": 2100
},
{
"date": "2024-07-18",
"value": 2079
},
{
"date": "2024-07-19",
"value": 1443
}
]
}

@ -3277,7 +3277,7 @@ __export(main_exports, {
default: () => AdvancedURI
});
module.exports = __toCommonJS(main_exports);
var import_obsidian13 = require("obsidian");
var import_obsidian14 = require("obsidian");
// node_modules/obsidian-community-lib/dist/utils.js
var feather = __toESM(require_feather());
@ -3299,15 +3299,17 @@ var BlockUtils = class _BlockUtils {
var _a, _b;
const cursor = editor.getCursor("to");
const fileCache = app2.metadataCache.getFileCache(file);
let currentBlock = (_a = fileCache == null ? void 0 : fileCache.sections) == null ? void 0 : _a.find(
(section) => section.position.start.line <= cursor.line && section.position.end.line >= cursor.line
);
if (currentBlock.type == "list") {
currentBlock = (_b = fileCache.listItems) == null ? void 0 : _b.find((list) => {
if (list.position.start.line <= cursor.line && list.position.end.line >= cursor.line) {
return list;
const sections = fileCache == null ? void 0 : fileCache.sections;
if (!sections || sections.length === 0) {
console.log("error reading FileCache (empty file?)");
return;
}
});
const foundSectionIndex = sections.findIndex((section) => section.position.start.line > cursor.line);
let currentBlock = foundSectionIndex > 0 ? sections[foundSectionIndex - 1] : sections[sections.length - 1];
if ((currentBlock == null ? void 0 : currentBlock.type) == "list") {
currentBlock = (_b = (_a = fileCache.listItems) == null ? void 0 : _a.find(
(section) => section.position.start.line <= cursor.line && section.position.end.line >= cursor.line
)) != null ? _b : currentBlock;
}
return currentBlock;
}
@ -4080,13 +4082,13 @@ var Handlers = class {
this.plugin.success(parameters);
}
async handleUpdatePlugins(parameters) {
new import_obsidian7.Notice("Checking for updates\u2026");
await app.plugins.checkForUpdates();
const updateCount = Object.keys(this.app.plugins.updates).length;
if (updateCount > 0) {
parameters.settingid = "community-plugins";
this.handleOpenSettings(parameters);
this.app.setting.activeTab.containerEl.findAll(".mod-cta").last().click();
new import_obsidian7.Notice("Waiting 10 seconds");
await new Promise((resolve) => setTimeout(resolve, 10 * 1e3));
if (Object.keys(this.app.plugins.updates).length !== 0) {
this.app.setting.activeTab.containerEl.findAll(".mod-cta").last().click();
}
this.plugin.success(parameters);
}
@ -4430,7 +4432,20 @@ var Tools = class {
parameters.filepath = void 0;
parameters.uid = await this.getUIDFromFile(file);
}
for (const parameter in parameters) {
const sortedParameterKeys = Object.keys(parameters).filter((key) => parameters[key]).sort((a, b) => {
const first = ["filepath", "filename", "uid", "daily"];
const last = ["data", "eval"];
if (first.includes(a))
return -1;
if (first.includes(b))
return 1;
if (last.includes(a))
return 1;
if (last.includes(b))
return -1;
return 0;
});
for (const parameter of sortedParameterKeys) {
if (parameters[parameter] != void 0) {
suffix += suffix ? "&" : "?";
suffix += `${parameter}=${encodeURIComponent(
@ -4478,8 +4493,32 @@ var Tools = class {
}
};
// src/modals/workspace_modal.ts
var import_obsidian13 = require("obsidian");
var WorkspaceModal = class extends import_obsidian13.FuzzySuggestModal {
constructor(plugin) {
super(plugin.app);
this.plugin = plugin;
this.setPlaceholder("Choose a workspace");
}
getItems() {
const workspacesPlugin = this.app.internalPlugins.getEnabledPluginById("workspaces");
if (!workspacesPlugin) {
new import_obsidian13.Notice("Workspaces plugin is not enabled");
} else {
return Object.keys(workspacesPlugin.workspaces);
}
}
getItemText(item) {
return item;
}
onChooseItem(item, _) {
this.plugin.tools.copyURI({ workspace: item });
}
};
// src/main.ts
var AdvancedURI = class extends import_obsidian13.Plugin {
var AdvancedURI = class extends import_obsidian14.Plugin {
constructor() {
super(...arguments);
this.handlers = new Handlers(this);
@ -4490,22 +4529,22 @@ var AdvancedURI = class extends import_obsidian13.Plugin {
this.addSettingTab(new SettingsTab(this.app, this));
this.addCommand({
id: "copy-uri-current-file",
name: "copy URI for file with options",
name: "Copy URI for file with options",
callback: () => this.handlers.handleCopyFileURI(false)
});
this.addCommand({
id: "copy-uri-current-file-simple",
name: "copy URI for current file",
name: "Copy URI for current file",
callback: () => this.handlers.handleCopyFileURI(true)
});
this.addCommand({
id: "copy-uri-daily",
name: "copy URI for daily note",
name: "Copy URI for daily note",
callback: () => new EnterDataModal(this).open()
});
this.addCommand({
id: "copy-uri-search-and-replace",
name: "copy URI for search and replace",
name: "Copy URI for search and replace",
callback: () => {
const fileModal = new FileModal(
this,
@ -4523,7 +4562,7 @@ var AdvancedURI = class extends import_obsidian13.Plugin {
});
this.addCommand({
id: "copy-uri-command",
name: "copy URI for command",
name: "Copy URI for command",
callback: () => {
const fileModal = new FileModal(
this,
@ -4537,9 +4576,9 @@ var AdvancedURI = class extends import_obsidian13.Plugin {
});
this.addCommand({
id: "copy-uri-block",
name: "copy URI for current block",
name: "Copy URI for current block",
checkCallback: (checking) => {
const view = this.app.workspace.getActiveViewOfType(import_obsidian13.MarkdownView);
const view = this.app.workspace.getActiveViewOfType(import_obsidian14.MarkdownView);
if (checking)
return view != void 0;
const id = BlockUtils.getBlockId(this.app);
@ -4551,6 +4590,14 @@ var AdvancedURI = class extends import_obsidian13.Plugin {
}
}
});
this.addCommand({
id: "copy-uri-workspace",
name: "Copy URI for workspace",
callback: () => {
const modal = new WorkspaceModal(this);
modal.open();
}
});
this.registerObsidianProtocolHandler("advanced-uri", async (e) => {
var _a, _b, _c;
const parameters = e;
@ -4576,7 +4623,7 @@ var AdvancedURI = class extends import_obsidian13.Plugin {
file = this.app.vault.getMarkdownFiles().find(
(file2) => {
var _a2;
return (_a2 = (0, import_obsidian13.parseFrontMatterAliases)(
return (_a2 = (0, import_obsidian14.parseFrontMatterAliases)(
this.app.metadataCache.getFileCache(file2).frontmatter
)) == null ? void 0 : _a2.includes(parameters.filename);
}
@ -4586,10 +4633,10 @@ var AdvancedURI = class extends import_obsidian13.Plugin {
(_b = this.app.workspace.getActiveFile()) == null ? void 0 : _b.path
);
const parentFolderPath = parentFolder.isRoot() ? "" : parentFolder.path + "/";
parameters.filepath = (_c = file == null ? void 0 : file.path) != null ? _c : parentFolderPath + (0, import_obsidian13.normalizePath)(parameters.filename);
parameters.filepath = (_c = file == null ? void 0 : file.path) != null ? _c : parentFolderPath + (0, import_obsidian14.normalizePath)(parameters.filename);
}
if (parameters.filepath) {
parameters.filepath = (0, import_obsidian13.normalizePath)(parameters.filepath);
parameters.filepath = (0, import_obsidian14.normalizePath)(parameters.filepath);
const index = parameters.filepath.lastIndexOf(".");
const extension = parameters.filepath.substring(
index < 0 ? parameters.filepath.length : index
@ -4599,7 +4646,7 @@ var AdvancedURI = class extends import_obsidian13.Plugin {
}
} else if (parameters.daily === "true") {
if (!(0, import_obsidian_daily_notes_interface2.appHasDailyNotesPluginLoaded)()) {
new import_obsidian13.Notice("Daily notes plugin is not loaded");
new import_obsidian14.Notice("Daily notes plugin is not loaded");
return;
}
const moment = window.moment(Date.now());
@ -4648,7 +4695,7 @@ var AdvancedURI = class extends import_obsidian13.Plugin {
if (!(source === "more-options" || source === "tab-header" || source == "file-explorer-context-menu")) {
return;
}
if (!(file instanceof import_obsidian13.TFile)) {
if (!(file instanceof import_obsidian14.TFile)) {
return;
}
menu.addItem((item) => {
@ -4737,7 +4784,7 @@ var AdvancedURI = class extends import_obsidian13.Plugin {
let path;
let dataToWrite;
if (parameters.heading) {
if (file instanceof import_obsidian13.TFile) {
if (file instanceof import_obsidian14.TFile) {
path = file.path;
const line = (_a = getEndAndBeginningOfHeading(
this.app,
@ -4752,15 +4799,21 @@ var AdvancedURI = class extends import_obsidian13.Plugin {
dataToWrite = lines.join("\n");
}
} else {
let fileData;
if (file instanceof import_obsidian13.TFile) {
fileData = await this.app.vault.read(file);
if (file instanceof import_obsidian14.TFile) {
path = file.path;
const fileData = await this.app.vault.read(file);
if (parameters.line) {
let line = Math.max(Number(parameters.line), 0);
const lines = fileData.split("\n");
lines.splice(line, 0, parameters.data);
dataToWrite = lines.join("\n");
} else {
dataToWrite = fileData + "\n" + parameters.data;
}
} else {
path = file;
fileData = "";
dataToWrite = parameters.data;
}
dataToWrite = fileData + "\n" + parameters.data;
}
return this.writeAndOpenFile(path, dataToWrite, parameters);
}
@ -4769,7 +4822,7 @@ var AdvancedURI = class extends import_obsidian13.Plugin {
let path;
let dataToWrite;
if (parameters.heading) {
if (file instanceof import_obsidian13.TFile) {
if (file instanceof import_obsidian14.TFile) {
path = file.path;
const line = (_a = getEndAndBeginningOfHeading(
this.app,
@ -4784,18 +4837,19 @@ var AdvancedURI = class extends import_obsidian13.Plugin {
dataToWrite = lines.join("\n");
}
} else {
if (file instanceof import_obsidian13.TFile) {
if (file instanceof import_obsidian14.TFile) {
path = file.path;
const fileData = await this.app.vault.read(file);
const cache = this.app.metadataCache.getFileCache(file);
if (cache.frontmatterPosition) {
const line = cache.frontmatterPosition.end.line;
const first = fileData.split("\n").slice(0, line + 1).join("\n");
const last = fileData.split("\n").slice(line + 1).join("\n");
dataToWrite = first + "\n" + parameters.data + "\n" + last;
} else {
dataToWrite = parameters.data + "\n" + fileData;
}
path = file.path;
let line = 0;
if (parameters.line) {
line += Math.max(Number(parameters.line) - 1, 0);
} else if (cache.frontmatterPosition) {
line += cache.frontmatterPosition.end.line + 1;
}
const lines = fileData.split("\n");
lines.splice(line, 0, parameters.data);
dataToWrite = lines.join("\n");
} else {
path = file;
dataToWrite = parameters.data;
@ -4805,19 +4859,19 @@ var AdvancedURI = class extends import_obsidian13.Plugin {
}
async writeAndOpenFile(outputFileName, text, parameters) {
const file = this.app.vault.getAbstractFileByPath(outputFileName);
if (file instanceof import_obsidian13.TFile) {
if (file instanceof import_obsidian14.TFile) {
await this.app.vault.modify(file, text);
} else {
const parts = outputFileName.split("/");
const dir = parts.slice(0, parts.length - 1).join("/");
if (parts.length > 1 && !(this.app.vault.getAbstractFileByPath(dir) instanceof import_obsidian13.TFolder)) {
if (parts.length > 1 && !(this.app.vault.getAbstractFileByPath(dir) instanceof import_obsidian14.TFolder)) {
await this.app.vault.createFolder(dir);
}
const base64regex = /^([0-9a-zA-Z+/]{4})*(([0-9a-zA-Z+/]{2}==)|([0-9a-zA-Z+/]{3}=))?$/;
if (base64regex.test(text)) {
await this.app.vault.createBinary(
outputFileName,
(0, import_obsidian13.base64ToArrayBuffer)(text)
(0, import_obsidian14.base64ToArrayBuffer)(text)
);
} else {
await this.app.vault.create(outputFileName, text);
@ -4850,7 +4904,7 @@ var AdvancedURI = class extends import_obsidian13.Plugin {
if (parameters.openmode == "popover" && (supportPopover != null ? supportPopover : true)) {
const hoverEditor = this.app.plugins.plugins["obsidian-hover-editor"];
if (!hoverEditor) {
new import_obsidian13.Notice(
new import_obsidian14.Notice(
"Cannot find Hover Editor plugin. Please file an issue."
);
this.failure(parameters);
@ -4859,11 +4913,11 @@ var AdvancedURI = class extends import_obsidian13.Plugin {
this.app.workspace.setActiveLeaf(leaf, { focus: true });
});
let tFile;
if (file instanceof import_obsidian13.TFile) {
if (file instanceof import_obsidian14.TFile) {
tFile = file;
} else {
tFile = this.app.vault.getAbstractFileByPath(
(0, import_obsidian13.getLinkpath)(file)
(0, import_obsidian14.getLinkpath)(file)
);
}
await leaf.openFile(tFile);
@ -4884,6 +4938,9 @@ var AdvancedURI = class extends import_obsidian13.Plugin {
if (openMode == "silent") {
return;
}
if (import_obsidian14.Platform.isMobileApp && openMode == "window") {
openMode = true;
}
let fileIsAlreadyOpened = false;
if (isBoolean(openMode)) {
this.app.workspace.iterateAllLeaves((leaf) => {
@ -4897,7 +4954,7 @@ var AdvancedURI = class extends import_obsidian13.Plugin {
});
}
return this.app.workspace.openLinkText(
file instanceof import_obsidian13.TFile ? file.path : file,
file instanceof import_obsidian14.TFile ? file.path : file,
"/",
fileIsAlreadyOpened ? false : openMode,
mode != void 0 ? { state: { mode } } : getViewStateFromMode(parameters)
@ -4905,7 +4962,7 @@ var AdvancedURI = class extends import_obsidian13.Plugin {
}
}
async setCursor(parameters) {
const view = this.app.workspace.getActiveViewOfType(import_obsidian13.MarkdownView);
const view = this.app.workspace.getActiveViewOfType(import_obsidian14.MarkdownView);
if (!view)
return;
const mode = parameters.mode;
@ -4928,8 +4985,8 @@ var AdvancedURI = class extends import_obsidian13.Plugin {
}
}
async setCursorInLine(parameters) {
const rawLine = parameters.line;
const view = this.app.workspace.getActiveViewOfType(import_obsidian13.MarkdownView);
const rawLine = Number(parameters.line);
const view = this.app.workspace.getActiveViewOfType(import_obsidian14.MarkdownView);
if (!view)
return;
const viewState = view.leaf.getViewState();

@ -5,7 +5,7 @@
"isDesktopOnly": false,
"js": "main.js",
"fundingUrl": "https://ko-fi.com/vinzent",
"version": "1.40.1",
"version": "1.41.0",
"author": "Vinzent",
"authorUrl": "https://github.com/Vinzent03"
}

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@ -1,7 +1,7 @@
{
"id": "obsidian-icon-folder",
"name": "Iconize",
"version": "2.14.1",
"version": "2.14.2",
"minAppVersion": "0.9.12",
"description": "Add icons to anything you desire in Obsidian, including files, folders, and text.",
"author": "Florian Woelki",

@ -9,6 +9,7 @@
}
.iconize-icon-in-link {
transform: translateY(20%);
margin-right: var(--size-2-2);
display: inline-flex;
}

File diff suppressed because one or more lines are too long

@ -1,7 +1,7 @@
{
"id": "obsidian-media-db-plugin",
"name": "Media DB",
"version": "0.7.1",
"version": "0.7.2",
"minAppVersion": "1.5.0",
"description": "A plugin that can query multiple APIs for movies, series, anime, games, music and wiki articles, and import them into your vault.",
"author": "Moritz Jung",

@ -85,7 +85,7 @@
"MomentsIcon": "https://images.pexels.com/photos/256514/pexels-photo-256514.jpeg",
"MomentsQuote": "Share your thino with the world",
"DefaultThemeForThino": "classic",
"LastUpdatedVersion": "2.4.47",
"LastUpdatedVersion": "2.4.49",
"ShareToThinoWithText": false,
"ShareToThinoWithTextAppend": "",
"ShareToThinoWithTextPrepend": "",

File diff suppressed because one or more lines are too long

@ -2,7 +2,7 @@
"id": "obsidian-memos",
"name": "Thino",
"description": "Capturing ideas and save them into daily notes. (Closed source)",
"version": "2.4.47",
"version": "2.4.49",
"author": "Boninall",
"authorUrl": "https://github.com/Quorafind/",
"isDesktopOnly": false,

@ -4,40 +4,45 @@
"05.01 Computer setup/Storage and Syncing.md": [
{
"title": ":cloud: [[Storage and Syncing|Storage & Sync]]: Backup Volumes to [[Sync|Sync.com]] %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-06-10",
"rowNumber": 192
"time": "2024-09-09",
"rowNumber": 178
},
{
"title": ":coin: Backup [[Storage and Syncing#Instructions for Anchor|Anchor Wallet]] %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-10-03",
"rowNumber": 174
},
{
"title": ":floppy_disk: Backup [[Storage and Syncing#Instructions for FV|Folder Vault]] %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-07-05",
"rowNumber": 186
"time": "2024-10-04",
"rowNumber": 177
},
{
"title": ":iphone: Backup [[Storage and Syncing#Instructions for iPhone|iPhone]] %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-07-09",
"rowNumber": 180
"time": "2024-10-08",
"rowNumber": 175
},
{
"title": ":camera: [[Storage and Syncing|Storage & Sync]]: Transfer pictures to ED %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-07-11",
"rowNumber": 197
"time": "2024-10-10",
"rowNumber": 180
},
{
"title": "Backup [[Storage and Syncing#Instructions for Anchor|Anchor Wallet]] %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-10-03",
"rowNumber": 174
"title": ":iphone: Backup [[Storage and Syncing|news for previous year]] %%done_del%%",
"time": "2025-01-15",
"rowNumber": 176
}
],
"06.01 Finances/hLedger.md": [
{
"title": ":heavy_dollar_sign: [[hLedger]]: Update Price file %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-07-05",
"time": "2024-10-04",
"rowNumber": 418
},
{
"title": ":heavy_dollar_sign: [[hLedger]]: Update current ledger %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-07-05",
"rowNumber": 424
"time": "2024-10-04",
"rowNumber": 425
}
],
"05.02 Networks/Server Cloud.md": [
@ -189,7 +194,7 @@
"01.03 Family/Opportune de Villeneuve.md": [
{
"title": ":birthday: **[[Opportune de Villeneuve|Opportune]]** %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-07-14",
"time": "2025-07-14",
"rowNumber": 105
}
],
@ -238,7 +243,7 @@
"01.03 Family/Jacqueline Bédier.md": [
{
"title": ":birthday: **[[Jacqueline Bédier|Bonne Maman]]** %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-07-13",
"time": "2025-07-13",
"rowNumber": 105
}
],
@ -329,48 +334,48 @@
"01.02 Home/Household.md": [
{
"title": "♻ [[Household]]: *Cardboard* recycling collection %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-07-09",
"rowNumber": 80
"time": "2024-07-23",
"rowNumber": 81
},
{
"title": "🛎 🧻 REMINDER [[Household]]: check need for toilet paper %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-07-15",
"rowNumber": 93
"time": "2024-07-29",
"rowNumber": 95
},
{
"title": "♻ [[Household]]: *Paper* recycling collection %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-07-16",
"time": "2024-07-30",
"rowNumber": 75
},
{
"title": "🛎️ :house: [[Household]]: Pay rent %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-07-31",
"rowNumber": 90
"rowNumber": 92
},
{
"title": ":blue_car: [[Household]]: Change to Winter tyres @ [[Rex Automobile CH]] %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-10-15",
"rowNumber": 104
"rowNumber": 107
},
{
"title": ":ski: [[Household]]: Organise yearly ski servicing ([[Ski Rental Zürich]]) %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-10-31",
"rowNumber": 113
"rowNumber": 116
},
{
"title": ":blue_car: [[Household]]: Clean car %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-11-30",
"rowNumber": 106
"rowNumber": 109
},
{
"title": ":blue_car: [[Household]]: Renew [road vignette](https://www.e-vignette.ch/) %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-12-20",
"rowNumber": 105
"rowNumber": 108
},
{
"title": ":blue_car: [[Household]]: Change to Summer tyres @ [[Rex Automobile CH]] %%done_del%%",
"time": "2025-04-15",
"rowNumber": 103
"rowNumber": 106
}
],
"01.03 Family/Pia Bousquié.md": [
@ -388,15 +393,15 @@
}
],
"01.01 Life Orga/@Finances.md": [
{
"title": ":heavy_dollar_sign: [[@Finances|Finances]]: update crypto prices within Obsidian %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-07-09",
"rowNumber": 116
},
{
"title": ":heavy_dollar_sign: [[@Finances|Finances]]: Swiss tax self declaration %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-07-31",
"rowNumber": 125
"rowNumber": 126
},
{
"title": ":heavy_dollar_sign: [[@Finances|Finances]]: update crypto prices within Obsidian %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-08-13",
"rowNumber": 116
},
{
"title": ":moneybag: [[@Finances]]: Transfer UK pension to CH %%done_del%%",
@ -406,7 +411,7 @@
{
"title": ":heavy_dollar_sign: [[@Finances|Finances]]: Close yearly accounts %%done_del%%",
"time": "2025-01-07",
"rowNumber": 123
"rowNumber": 124
}
],
"01.01 Life Orga/@Personal projects.md": [
@ -444,27 +449,32 @@
}
],
"06.02 Investments/Crypto Tasks.md": [
{
"title": ":chart: Check [[Nimbus]] earnings %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-07-08",
"rowNumber": 92
},
{
"title": ":ballot_box_with_ballot: [[Crypto Tasks]]: Vote for [[EOS]] block producers %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-08-06",
"rowNumber": 72
},
{
"title": ":chart: Check [[Nimbus]] earnings %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-08-12",
"rowNumber": 92
}
],
"05.02 Networks/Configuring UFW.md": [
{
"title": "🖥 [[Selfhosting]], [[Configuring UFW|Firewall]] Get IP addresses caught by Postfix %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-07-06",
"time": "2024-07-27",
"rowNumber": 239
},
{
"title": "🖥 [[Selfhosting]], [[Configuring UFW|Firewall]] Get IP addresses caught by Postfix %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-07-27",
"rowNumber": 318
},
{
"title": "🖥 [[Selfhosting]], [[Configuring UFW|Firewall]]: Update the Blocked IP list %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-07-06",
"rowNumber": 316
"time": "2024-07-27",
"rowNumber": 322
}
],
"01.03 Family/Amélie Solanet.md": [
@ -618,15 +628,15 @@
}
],
"02.01 London/@@London.md": [
{
"title": ":birthday: **Alex Houyvet**, [[@@London|London]] %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-07-13",
"rowNumber": 120
},
{
"title": ":birthday: **Stefan Schmidt**, [[@@London|London]] %%done_del%%",
"time": "2025-06-29",
"rowNumber": 117
},
{
"title": ":birthday: **Alex Houyvet**, [[@@London|London]] %%done_del%%",
"time": "2025-07-13",
"rowNumber": 120
}
],
"01.01 Life Orga/@Lifestyle.md": [
@ -665,7 +675,7 @@
"01.07 Animals/@Sally.md": [
{
"title": ":racehorse: [[@Sally|Sally]]: Pay for horseshoes (150 CHF) %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-07-10",
"time": "2024-08-10",
"rowNumber": 142
},
{
@ -708,7 +718,7 @@
"01.07 Animals/2023-07-13 Health check.md": [
{
"title": ":racehorse: [[@Sally|Sally]], [[2023-07-13 Health check|Note]]: Check front hoofs healing",
"time": "2024-07-16",
"time": "2024-07-30",
"rowNumber": 53
}
],
@ -736,7 +746,7 @@
"00.01 Admin/Calendars/2023-10-28.md": [
{
"title": "11:48 :musical_keyboard: [[@Lifestyle|Lifestyle]]: Buy an ampli (Verstaerker): Yamaha A-S301 or Marantz PM6007",
"time": "2024-07-07",
"time": "2024-12-20",
"rowNumber": 103
}
],
@ -782,17 +792,17 @@
{
"title": ":sunny: :partying_face: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: Check out Seenachtfest Rapperswil-Jona %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-08-01",
"rowNumber": 129
"rowNumber": 119
},
{
"title": ":sunny: :runner: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: Check out tickets to Weltklasse Zürich %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-08-01",
"rowNumber": 137
"rowNumber": 126
},
{
"title": ":sunny: :partying_face: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: Street Parade %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-08-10",
"rowNumber": 127
"rowNumber": 117
},
{
"title": "🎭:frame_with_picture: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: Check out exhibitions at the [Kunsthaus](https://www.kunsthaus.ch/en/) %%done_del%%",
@ -802,22 +812,22 @@
{
"title": ":sunny: :partying_face: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: Zürich Openair %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-08-23",
"rowNumber": 128
"rowNumber": 118
},
{
"title": "🎭:frame_with_picture: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: Check out exhibitions at the [Rietberg](https://rietberg.ch/en/) %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-09-15",
"rowNumber": 96
"rowNumber": 94
},
{
"title": ":maple_leaf: :movie_camera: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: Check out Zürich Film Festival %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-09-15",
"rowNumber": 112
"rowNumber": 105
},
{
"title": ":maple_leaf: :wine_glass: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: Check out Zürichs Wine festival ([ZWF - Zurich Wine Festival](https://zurichwinefestival.ch/)) %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-09-25",
"rowNumber": 113
"rowNumber": 106
},
{
"title": ":snowflake:🎭 [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: Check out floating theatre ([Herzlich willkommen!](http://herzbaracke.ch/)) %%done_del%%",
@ -827,57 +837,57 @@
{
"title": ":maple_leaf: :wine_glass: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: Check out [Discover the Excitement of EXPOVINA Wine Events | Join Us at Weinschiffe, Primavera, and Wine Trophy | EXPOVINA](https://expovina.ch/en-ch/) %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-10-15",
"rowNumber": 114
"rowNumber": 107
},
{
"title": ":snowflake: :person_in_steamy_room: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: Check out [Sauna Cubes at Strandbad Küsnacht — Strandbadsauna](https://www.strandbadsauna.ch/home-eng) %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-11-15",
"rowNumber": 104
"rowNumber": 100
},
{
"title": ":christmas_tree: :cocktail: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: Check out pop-up bars ([Pop-ups at Christmas | zuerich.com](https://www.zuerich.com/en/visit/christmas-in-zurich/pop-ups)) %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-12-01",
"rowNumber": 105
"rowNumber": 101
},
{
"title": ":snowflake: :swimmer: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: Samichlausschwimmen %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-12-08",
"rowNumber": 120
"rowNumber": 113
},
{
"title": ":snowflake: :partying_face: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: ZüriCarneval weekend %%done_del%%",
"time": "2025-02-15",
"rowNumber": 121
"rowNumber": 114
},
{
"title": ":hibiscus: :partying_face: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: Sechseläuten %%done_del%%",
"time": "2025-04-15",
"rowNumber": 123
"rowNumber": 115
},
{
"title": ":hibiscus: :runner: [[@@Zürich|Zürich]]: Zürich Marathon %%done_del%%",
"time": "2025-04-21",
"rowNumber": 135
"rowNumber": 125
},
{
"title": ":hibiscus: :fork_and_knife: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: Book a restaurant with terrace for the season: [[Albishaus]], [[Restaurant Boldern]], [[Zur Buech]], [[Jardin Zürichberg]], [[Bistro Rigiblick]], [[Portofino am See]], [[La Réserve|La Muña]] %%done_del%%",
"time": "2025-05-01",
"rowNumber": 106
"rowNumber": 102
},
{
"title": ":hibiscus: :canned_food: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: Check out [FOOD ZURICH - MEHR ALS EIN FESTIVAL](https://www.foodzurich.com/de/) %%done_del%%",
"time": "2025-06-01",
"rowNumber": 108
"rowNumber": 103
},
{
"title": ":hibiscus: :partying_face: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: Zürich Pride Festival %%done_del%%",
"time": "2025-06-15",
"rowNumber": 125
"rowNumber": 116
},
{
"title": ":sunny: :movie_camera: [[@@Zürich|:test_zurich_coat_of_arms:]]: Check out programmation of the [Zurich's finest open-air cinema | Allianz Cinema -](https://zuerich.allianzcinema.ch/en) %%done_del%%",
"time": "2025-07-01",
"rowNumber": 110
"rowNumber": 104
}
],
"03.02 Travels/Geneva.md": [
@ -1007,13 +1017,20 @@
"01.06 Health/2024-06-29 Fungal treatment.md": [
{
"title": ":test_pharmacie_logo_svg_vector: [[2024-06-29 Fungal treatment|Fungus]]: Take the pill %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-07-06",
"time": "2024-07-20",
"rowNumber": 58
},
{
"title": ":test_pharmacie_logo_svg_vector: [[2024-06-29 Fungal treatment|Fungus]]: Nail lack %%done_del%%",
"time": "2024-07-08",
"rowNumber": 65
"time": "2024-07-20",
"rowNumber": 62
}
],
"01.06 Health/2023-02-25 Polyp in Galbladder.md": [
{
"title": "🩺 [[2023-02-25 Polyp in Galbladder|Polype in gallbladder]]: Organise control scan for polype",
"time": "2025-07-12",
"rowNumber": 68
}
]
},

File diff suppressed because one or more lines are too long

@ -1,9 +1,9 @@
{
"id": "obsidian-tasks-plugin",
"name": "Tasks",
"version": "7.6.0",
"version": "7.6.1",
"minAppVersion": "1.1.1",
"description": "Task management for Obsidian",
"description": "Track tasks across your vault. Supports due dates, recurring tasks, done dates, sub-set of checklist items, and filtering.",
"helpUrl": "https://publish.obsidian.md/tasks/",
"author": "Martin Schenck and Clare Macrae",
"authorUrl": "https://github.com/obsidian-tasks-group",

@ -48,8 +48,9 @@
"devMode": false,
"templateFolderPath": "00.01 Admin/Templates",
"announceUpdates": true,
"version": "1.9.1",
"version": "1.10.0",
"disableOnlineFeatures": true,
"enableRibbonIcon": false,
"ai": {
"defaultModel": "Ask me",
"defaultSystemPrompt": "As an AI assistant within Obsidian, your primary goal is to help users manage their ideas and knowledge more effectively. Format your responses using Markdown syntax. Please use the [[Obsidian]] link format. You can write aliases for the links by writing [[Obsidian|the alias after the pipe symbol]]. To use mathematical notation, use LaTeX syntax. LaTeX syntax for larger equations should be on separate lines, surrounded with double dollar signs ($$). You can also inline math expressions by wrapping it in $ symbols. For example, use $$w_{ij}^{\text{new}}:=w_{ij}^{\text{current}}+etacdotdelta_jcdot x_{ij}$$ on a separate line, but you can write \"($eta$ = learning rate, $delta_j$ = error term, $x_{ij}$ = input)\" inline.",

@ -11615,15 +11615,25 @@ var QuickAddApi = class {
plugin,
choiceExecutor
).format;
const modelProvider = getModelProvider(model.name);
let _model;
if (typeof model === "string") {
const foundModel = getModelByName(model);
if (!foundModel) {
throw new Error(`Model '${model}' not found.`);
}
_model = foundModel;
} else {
_model = model;
}
const modelProvider = getModelProvider(_model.name);
if (!modelProvider) {
throw new Error(
`Model '${model.name}' not found in any provider`
`Model '${_model.name}' not found in any provider`
);
}
const assistantRes = await Prompt(
{
model,
model: _model,
prompt,
apiKey: modelProvider.apiKey,
modelOptions: settings?.modelOptions ?? {},
@ -11657,11 +11667,17 @@ var QuickAddApi = class {
plugin,
choiceExecutor
).format;
const _model = getModelByName(model);
if (!_model) {
let _model;
if (typeof model === "string") {
const foundModel = getModelByName(model);
if (!foundModel) {
throw new Error(`Model ${model} not found.`);
}
const modelProvider = getModelProvider(model);
_model = foundModel;
} else {
_model = model;
}
const modelProvider = getModelProvider(_model.name);
if (!modelProvider) {
throw new Error(
`Model '${_model.name}' not found in any provider`
@ -17612,6 +17628,7 @@ var DEFAULT_SETTINGS = {
announceUpdates: true,
version: "0.0.0",
disableOnlineFeatures: true,
enableRibbonIcon: false,
ai: {
defaultModel: "Ask me",
defaultSystemPrompt: `As an AI assistant within Obsidian, your primary goal is to help users manage their ideas and knowledge more effectively. Format your responses using Markdown syntax. Please use the [[Obsidian]] link format. You can write aliases for the links by writing [[Obsidian|the alias after the pipe symbol]]. To use mathematical notation, use LaTeX syntax. LaTeX syntax for larger equations should be on separate lines, surrounded with double dollar signs ($$). You can also inline math expressions by wrapping it in $ symbols. For example, use $$w_{ij}^{ ext{new}}:=w_{ij}^{ ext{current}}+etacdotdelta_jcdot x_{ij}$$ on a separate line, but you can write "($eta$ = learning rate, $delta_j$ = error term, $x_{ij}$ = input)" inline.`,
@ -17642,6 +17659,7 @@ var QuickAddSettingsTab = class extends import_obsidian34.PluginSettingTab {
this.addTemplateFolderPathSetting();
this.addAnnounceUpdatesSetting();
this.addDisableOnlineFeaturesSetting();
this.addEnableRibbonIconSetting();
}
addAnnounceUpdatesSetting() {
const setting = new import_obsidian34.Setting(this.containerEl);
@ -17726,6 +17744,16 @@ var QuickAddSettingsTab = class extends import_obsidian34.PluginSettingTab {
})
);
}
addEnableRibbonIconSetting() {
new import_obsidian34.Setting(this.containerEl).setName("Show icon in sidebar").setDesc("Add QuickAdd icon to the sidebar ribbon. Requires a reload.").addToggle((toggle) => {
toggle.setValue(settingsStore.getState().enableRibbonIcon).onChange((value) => {
settingsStore.setState({
enableRibbonIcon: value
});
this.display();
});
});
}
};
// src/logger/quickAddLogger.ts
@ -19866,6 +19894,11 @@ var QuickAdd = class extends import_obsidian42.Plugin {
}
});
log.register(new ConsoleErrorLogger()).register(new GuiLogger(this));
if (this.settings.enableRibbonIcon) {
this.addRibbonIcon("file-plus", "QuickAdd", () => {
ChoiceSuggester.Open(this, this.settings.choices);
});
}
this.addSettingTab(new QuickAddSettingsTab(this.app, this));
this.app.workspace.onLayoutReady(
() => new StartupMacroEngine(

@ -1,7 +1,7 @@
{
"id": "quickadd",
"name": "QuickAdd",
"version": "1.9.1",
"version": "1.10.0",
"minAppVersion": "1.6.0",
"description": "Quickly add new pages or content to your vault.",
"author": "Christian B. B. Houmann",

@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
{
"name": "Minimal",
"version": "7.7.4",
"version": "7.7.7",
"minAppVersion": "1.6.1",
"author": "@kepano",
"authorUrl": "https://twitter.com/kepano",

File diff suppressed because one or more lines are too long

@ -61,20 +61,12 @@
"state": {
"type": "markdown",
"state": {
"file": "00.01 Admin/Calendars/2024-07-05.md",
"file": "00.01 Admin/Calendars/2024-07-19.md",
"mode": "preview",
"source": true
}
}
},
{
"id": "2e3b89e86b85061a",
"type": "leaf",
"state": {
"type": "thino_view",
"state": {}
}
},
{
"id": "95dd8907a411f142",
"type": "leaf",
@ -88,6 +80,14 @@
}
}
}
},
{
"id": "16b24a0a8bd5053a",
"type": "leaf",
"state": {
"type": "thino_view",
"state": {}
}
}
],
"currentTab": 4
@ -172,7 +172,7 @@
"state": {
"type": "backlink",
"state": {
"file": "00.01 Admin/Calendars/2024-07-05.md",
"file": "00.01 Admin/Calendars/2024-07-19.md",
"collapseAll": false,
"extraContext": false,
"sortOrder": "alphabetical",
@ -189,7 +189,7 @@
"state": {
"type": "outgoing-link",
"state": {
"file": "00.01 Admin/Calendars/2024-07-05.md",
"file": "00.01 Admin/Calendars/2024-07-19.md",
"linksCollapsed": false,
"unlinkedCollapsed": false
}
@ -255,32 +255,32 @@
},
"active": "6266e3653a250845",
"lastOpenFiles": [
"00.03 News/Emma Stone Has Changed Her Whole Style of Acting. Its a Wonder to Behold..md",
"00.03 News/An Atlanta Movie Exec Praised for His Diversity Efforts Sent Racist, Antisemitic Texts.md",
"01.02 Home/@Main Dashboard.md",
"00.01 Admin/Calendars/2024-07-05.md",
"00.03 News/Bad Boy for Life Sean Combs History of Violence.md",
"01.01 Life Orga/@IT & Computer.md",
"01.01 Life Orga/@Life Admin.md",
"00.01 Admin/Calendars/2024-07-04.md",
"00.01 Admin/Calendars/2024-07-03.md",
"00.01 Admin/Calendars/2024-07-02.md",
"00.01 Admin/Calendars/2024-07-19.md",
"00.01 Admin/Calendars/2024-07-18.md",
"01.02 Home/@Shopping list.md",
"01.02 Home/Life - Practical infos.md",
"01.06 Health/2024-07-02 Checkup.md",
"00.01 Admin/Calendars/2024-07-01.md",
"04.03 Creative snippets/Project 2/@Meta Data.md",
"00.01 Admin/Calendars/2024-06-30.md",
"02.03 Zürich/Albishaus.md",
"00.01 Admin/Calendars/2024-04-14.md",
"03.02 Travels/37 Best Airport Meals Around the World, According to Travel Editors.md",
"00.03 News/Neal ElAttrache, Doctor for Tom Brady and Leonardo DiCaprio.md",
"00.03 News/Inside Snapchats Teen Opioid Crisis.md",
"00.02 Inbox/Death on Shishapangma.md",
"00.03 News/Joe Biden should drop out.md",
"00.03 News/Inside the Slimy, Smelly, Secretive World of Glass-Eel Fishing.md",
"00.03 News/Harvard Scientists Say There May Be an Unknown, Technologically Advanced Civilization Hiding on Earth.md",
"00.03 News/I Was the Person Who Named the Brat Pack - I Stand By It.md",
"03.03 Food & Wine/Chicken Schnitzel.md",
"03.03 Food & Wine/@Main dishes.md",
"00.02 Inbox/2024-07-19.md",
"00.01 Admin/Calendars/2024-07-17.md",
"03.03 Food & Wine/Chilli con Carne.md",
"00.03 News/What a Leading State Auditor Says About Fraud, Government Misspending and Building Public Trust.md",
"00.03 News/Dear Caitlin Clark ….md",
"00.03 News/Frank Carone on Eric Adamss Smash-and-Grab New York.md",
"00.03 News/Super Bowl Strip Tease The NFL and Las Vegas Are Together at Last.md",
"00.01 Admin/Calendars/2024-07-16.md",
"00.03 News/The NYPD Commissioner Responded to Our Story That Revealed Hes Burying Police Brutality Cases. We Fact-Check Him..md",
"00.03 News/New Yorkers Were Choked, Beaten and Tased by NYPD Officers. The Commissioner Buried Their Cases..md",
"00.03 News/Scenes From the Knives-Out Feud Between Barbara Walters and Diane Sawyer.md",
"01.06 Health/2024-06-29 Fungal treatment.md",
"00.03 News/The President Ordered a Board to Probe a Massive Russian Cyberattack. It Never Did..md",
"00.01 Admin/Calendars/2024-07-15.md",
"03.03 Food & Wine/Big Shells With Spicy Lamb Sausage and Pistachios.md",
"00.07 Wiki/Romain Gary.md",
"05.01 Computer setup/Storage and Syncing.md",
"00.03 News/@News.md",
"00.03 News/She Made $10,000 a Month Defrauding Apps like Uber and Instacart. Meet the Queen of the Rideshare Mafia.md",
"00.02 Inbox/Pasted image 20240521223309.png",
"00.01 Admin/Pictures/Sally/ima10032556959173512188.jpeg",
"00.01 Admin/Pictures/Sally/IMG_4552.jpg",

@ -101,7 +101,7 @@ hide task count
This section does serve for quick memos.
&emsp;
- [ ] 11:48 :musical_keyboard: [[@Lifestyle|Lifestyle]]: Buy an ampli (Verstaerker): Yamaha A-S301 or Marantz PM6007 📅 2024-07-07
- [ ] 11:48 :musical_keyboard: [[@Lifestyle|Lifestyle]]: Buy an ampli (Verstaerker): Yamaha A-S301 or Marantz PM6007 📅 2024-12-20
%% --- %%

@ -16,13 +16,13 @@ Stress: 25
FrontHeadBar: 5
EarHeadBar: 20
BackHeadBar: 30
Water:
Coffee: 1
Steps:
Water: 3.5
Coffee: 6
Steps: 12968
Weight:
Ski:
IceSkating:
Riding:
Riding: 2
Racket:
Football:
Swim:
@ -114,7 +114,7 @@ This section does serve for quick memos.
&emsp;
Loret ipsum
🐎: 2 chukkers with [[@Sally|Sally]] at [[Polo Park Zürich|PPZ]]
&emsp;

@ -0,0 +1,134 @@
---
title: "🗒 Daily Note"
allDay: true
date: 2024-07-06
Date: 2024-07-06
DocType: Note
Hierarchy:
TimeStamp:
location:
CollapseMetaTable: true
Sleep: 6
Happiness: 80
Gratefulness: 90
Stress: 25
FrontHeadBar: 5
EarHeadBar: 20
BackHeadBar: 30
Water: 2
Coffee: 2
Steps: 5477
Weight:
Ski:
IceSkating:
Riding:
Racket:
Football:
Swim:
---
%% Parent:: [[@Life Admin]] %%
---
[[2024-07-05|<< 🗓 Previous ]] &emsp; &emsp; &emsp; [[@Main Dashboard|Back]] &emsp; &emsp; &emsp; [[2024-07-07|🗓 Next >>]]
---
&emsp;
```button
name Record today's health
type command
action MetaEdit: Run MetaEdit
id EditMetaData
```
^button-2024-07-06Edit
```button
name Save
type command
action Save current file
id Save
```
^button-2024-07-06NSave
&emsp;
# 2024-07-06
&emsp;
> [!summary]+
> Daily note for 2024-07-06
&emsp;
```toc
style: number
```
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### ✅ Tasks of the day
&emsp;
```tasks
not done
due on 2024-07-06
path does not include Templates
hide backlinks
hide task count
```
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### 📝 Memos
&emsp;
This section does serve for quick memos.
&emsp;
%% --- %%
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### 🗒 Notes
&emsp;
🍽️: [[Chilli con Carne]]
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### :link: Linked activity
&emsp;
```dataview
Table from [[2024-07-06]]
```
&emsp;
&emsp;

@ -0,0 +1,150 @@
---
title: "🗒 Daily Note"
allDay: true
date: 2024-07-07
Date: 2024-07-07
DocType: Note
Hierarchy:
TimeStamp:
location:
CollapseMetaTable: true
Sleep: 8.5
Happiness: 80
Gratefulness: 90
Stress: 25
FrontHeadBar: 5
EarHeadBar: 20
BackHeadBar: 30
Water: 2.4
Coffee: 4
Steps: 12692
Weight:
Ski:
IceSkating:
Riding: 1
Racket:
Football:
Swim:
---
%% Parent:: [[@Life Admin]] %%
---
[[2024-07-06|<< 🗓 Previous ]] &emsp; &emsp; &emsp; [[@Main Dashboard|Back]] &emsp; &emsp; &emsp; [[2024-07-08|🗓 Next >>]]
---
&emsp;
```button
name Record today's health
type command
action MetaEdit: Run MetaEdit
id EditMetaData
```
^button-2024-07-07Edit
```button
name Save
type command
action Save current file
id Save
```
^button-2024-07-07NSave
&emsp;
# 2024-07-07
&emsp;
> [!summary]+
> Daily note for 2024-07-07
&emsp;
```toc
style: number
```
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### ✅ Tasks of the day
&emsp;
```tasks
not done
due on 2024-07-07
path does not include Templates
hide backlinks
hide task count
```
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### 📝 Memos
&emsp;
This section does serve for quick memos.
&emsp;
%% --- %%
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### 🗒 Notes
&emsp;
🚗: [[@@Zürich|Eglisau]]
🐎: S&B with [[@Sally|Sally]] at [[Polo Park Zürich|PPZ]]
📺: [[Time of the Gypsies (1988)]]
✉️: voeux danniv:
- [[Amaury de Villeneuve|Papa]]
- [[Laurence Bédier|Maman]]
- Ana
- [[Noémie de Villeneuve|Noémie]]
- Lorena
- [[Aglaé de Villeneuve|Aglaé]]
- Pam
- [[Philomène de Villeneuve|Philo]]
[[Marguerite de Villeneuve|Marguerite]]/Arnold/[[Dorothée Moulin|Dorothée]]
- Alex
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### :link: Linked activity
&emsp;
```dataview
Table from [[2024-07-07]]
```
&emsp;
&emsp;

@ -0,0 +1,136 @@
---
title: "🗒 Daily Note"
allDay: true
date: 2024-07-08
Date: 2024-07-08
DocType: Note
Hierarchy:
TimeStamp:
location:
CollapseMetaTable: true
Sleep: 7.5
Happiness: 90
Gratefulness: 80
Stress: 25
FrontHeadBar: 5
EarHeadBar: 20
BackHeadBar: 30
Water: 3
Coffee: 5
Steps: 16113
Weight:
Ski:
IceSkating:
Riding:
Racket:
Football:
Swim:
---
%% Parent:: [[@Life Admin]] %%
---
[[2024-07-07|<< 🗓 Previous ]] &emsp; &emsp; &emsp; [[@Main Dashboard|Back]] &emsp; &emsp; &emsp; [[2024-07-09|🗓 Next >>]]
---
&emsp;
```button
name Record today's health
type command
action MetaEdit: Run MetaEdit
id EditMetaData
```
^button-2024-07-08Edit
```button
name Save
type command
action Save current file
id Save
```
^button-2024-07-08NSave
&emsp;
# 2024-07-08
&emsp;
> [!summary]+
> Daily note for 2024-07-08
&emsp;
```toc
style: number
```
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### ✅ Tasks of the day
&emsp;
```tasks
not done
due on 2024-07-08
path does not include Templates
hide backlinks
hide task count
```
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### 📝 Memos
&emsp;
This section does serve for quick memos.
&emsp;
%% --- %%
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### 🗒 Notes
&emsp;
🍽️: [[Korean Barbecue-Style Meatballs]]
📺: [[Tokyo Story (1953)]]
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### :link: Linked activity
&emsp;
```dataview
Table from [[2024-07-08]]
```
&emsp;
&emsp;

@ -0,0 +1,134 @@
---
title: "🗒 Daily Note"
allDay: true
date: 2024-07-09
Date: 2024-07-09
DocType: Note
Hierarchy:
TimeStamp:
location:
CollapseMetaTable: true
Sleep: 7.5
Happiness: 80
Gratefulness: 90
Stress: 25
FrontHeadBar: 5
EarHeadBar: 20
BackHeadBar: 30
Water: 4.5
Coffee: 4
Steps: 10493
Weight: 92.7
Ski:
IceSkating:
Riding: 2
Racket:
Football:
Swim:
---
%% Parent:: [[@Life Admin]] %%
---
[[2024-07-08|<< 🗓 Previous ]] &emsp; &emsp; &emsp; [[@Main Dashboard|Back]] &emsp; &emsp; &emsp; [[2024-07-10|🗓 Next >>]]
---
&emsp;
```button
name Record today's health
type command
action MetaEdit: Run MetaEdit
id EditMetaData
```
^button-2024-07-09Edit
```button
name Save
type command
action Save current file
id Save
```
^button-2024-07-09NSave
&emsp;
# 2024-07-09
&emsp;
> [!summary]+
> Daily note for 2024-07-09
&emsp;
```toc
style: number
```
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### ✅ Tasks of the day
&emsp;
```tasks
not done
due on 2024-07-09
path does not include Templates
hide backlinks
hide task count
```
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### 📝 Memos
&emsp;
This section does serve for quick memos.
&emsp;
%% --- %%
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### 🗒 Notes
&emsp;
🐎: 2 chukkers with [[@Sally|Sally]] at [[Polo Park Zürich|PPZ]] > 1 goal
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### :link: Linked activity
&emsp;
```dataview
Table from [[2024-07-09]]
```
&emsp;
&emsp;

@ -0,0 +1,134 @@
---
title: "🗒 Daily Note"
allDay: true
date: 2024-07-10
Date: 2024-07-10
DocType: Note
Hierarchy:
TimeStamp:
location:
CollapseMetaTable: true
Sleep: 7.5
Happiness: 80
Gratefulness: 90
Stress: 25
FrontHeadBar: 5
EarHeadBar: 20
BackHeadBar: 30
Water: 2
Coffee: 4
Steps: 17580
Weight:
Ski:
IceSkating:
Riding:
Racket:
Football:
Swim:
---
%% Parent:: [[@Life Admin]] %%
---
[[2024-07-09|<< 🗓 Previous ]] &emsp; &emsp; &emsp; [[@Main Dashboard|Back]] &emsp; &emsp; &emsp; [[2024-07-11|🗓 Next >>]]
---
&emsp;
```button
name Record today's health
type command
action MetaEdit: Run MetaEdit
id EditMetaData
```
^button-2024-07-10Edit
```button
name Save
type command
action Save current file
id Save
```
^button-2024-07-10NSave
&emsp;
# 2024-07-10
&emsp;
> [!summary]+
> Daily note for 2024-07-10
&emsp;
```toc
style: number
```
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### ✅ Tasks of the day
&emsp;
```tasks
not done
due on 2024-07-10
path does not include Templates
hide backlinks
hide task count
```
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### 📝 Memos
&emsp;
This section does serve for quick memos.
&emsp;
%% --- %%
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### 🗒 Notes
&emsp;
🍸: [[Bar am Wasser]]
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### :link: Linked activity
&emsp;
```dataview
Table from [[2024-07-10]]
```
&emsp;
&emsp;

@ -0,0 +1,134 @@
---
title: "🗒 Daily Note"
allDay: true
date: 2024-07-11
Date: 2024-07-11
DocType: Note
Hierarchy:
TimeStamp:
location:
CollapseMetaTable: true
Sleep: 7
Happiness: 80
Gratefulness: 90
Stress: 25
FrontHeadBar: 5
EarHeadBar: 30
BackHeadBar: 20
Water: 3.75
Coffee: 3
Steps: 9635
Weight:
Ski:
IceSkating:
Riding: 1
Racket:
Football:
Swim:
---
%% Parent:: [[@Life Admin]] %%
---
[[2024-07-10|<< 🗓 Previous ]] &emsp; &emsp; &emsp; [[@Main Dashboard|Back]] &emsp; &emsp; &emsp; [[2024-07-12|🗓 Next >>]]
---
&emsp;
```button
name Record today's health
type command
action MetaEdit: Run MetaEdit
id EditMetaData
```
^button-2024-07-11Edit
```button
name Save
type command
action Save current file
id Save
```
^button-2024-07-11NSave
&emsp;
# 2024-07-11
&emsp;
> [!summary]+
> Daily note for 2024-07-11
&emsp;
```toc
style: number
```
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### ✅ Tasks of the day
&emsp;
```tasks
not done
due on 2024-07-11
path does not include Templates
hide backlinks
hide task count
```
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### 📝 Memos
&emsp;
This section does serve for quick memos.
&emsp;
%% --- %%
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### 🗒 Notes
&emsp;
🐎: S&B at [[Polo Park Zürich|PPZ]] with [[@Sally|Sally]]
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### :link: Linked activity
&emsp;
```dataview
Table from [[2024-07-11]]
```
&emsp;
&emsp;

@ -0,0 +1,136 @@
---
title: "🗒 Daily Note"
allDay: true
date: 2024-07-12
Date: 2024-07-12
DocType: Note
Hierarchy:
TimeStamp:
location:
CollapseMetaTable: true
Sleep: 7.5
Happiness: 80
Gratefulness: 90
Stress: 25
FrontHeadBar: 5
EarHeadBar: 20
BackHeadBar: 30
Water: 3
Coffee: 5
Steps: 12413
Weight:
Ski:
IceSkating:
Riding:
Racket:
Football:
Swim:
---
%% Parent:: [[@Life Admin]] %%
---
[[2024-07-11|<< 🗓 Previous ]] &emsp; &emsp; &emsp; [[@Main Dashboard|Back]] &emsp; &emsp; &emsp; [[2024-07-13|🗓 Next >>]]
---
&emsp;
```button
name Record today's health
type command
action MetaEdit: Run MetaEdit
id EditMetaData
```
^button-2024-07-12Edit
```button
name Save
type command
action Save current file
id Save
```
^button-2024-07-12NSave
&emsp;
# 2024-07-12
&emsp;
> [!summary]+
> Daily note for 2024-07-12
&emsp;
```toc
style: number
```
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### ✅ Tasks of the day
&emsp;
```tasks
not done
due on 2024-07-12
path does not include Templates
hide backlinks
hide task count
```
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### 📝 Memos
&emsp;
This section does serve for quick memos.
&emsp;
%% --- %%
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### 🗒 Notes
&emsp;
🩺: [[2023-02-25 Polyp in Galbladder|Control scan]]
🍽️: [[Spicy Szechuan Noodles with Garlic Chilli Oil]]
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### :link: Linked activity
&emsp;
```dataview
Table from [[2024-07-12]]
```
&emsp;
&emsp;

@ -0,0 +1,138 @@
---
title: "🗒 Daily Note"
allDay: true
date: 2024-07-13
Date: 2024-07-13
DocType: Note
Hierarchy:
TimeStamp:
location:
CollapseMetaTable: true
Sleep: 8
Happiness: 80
Gratefulness: 90
Stress: 25
FrontHeadBar: 5
EarHeadBar: 20
BackHeadBar: 30
Water: 3.6
Coffee: 3
Steps: 8986
Weight:
Ski:
IceSkating:
Riding: 2
Racket:
Football:
Swim:
---
%% Parent:: [[@Life Admin]] %%
---
[[2024-07-12|<< 🗓 Previous ]] &emsp; &emsp; &emsp; [[@Main Dashboard|Back]] &emsp; &emsp; &emsp; [[2024-07-14|🗓 Next >>]]
---
&emsp;
```button
name Record today's health
type command
action MetaEdit: Run MetaEdit
id EditMetaData
```
^button-2024-07-13Edit
```button
name Save
type command
action Save current file
id Save
```
^button-2024-07-13NSave
&emsp;
# 2024-07-13
&emsp;
> [!summary]+
> Daily note for 2024-07-13
&emsp;
```toc
style: number
```
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### ✅ Tasks of the day
&emsp;
```tasks
not done
due on 2024-07-13
path does not include Templates
hide backlinks
hide task count
```
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### 📝 Memos
&emsp;
This section does serve for quick memos.
&emsp;
%% --- %%
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### 🗒 Notes
&emsp;
📖: [[Underworld]]
🐎: 2 chukkers with [[@Sally|Sally]] at [[Polo Park Zürich|PPZ]]
🍽️: [[Spicy Coconut Butter Chicken]]
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### :link: Linked activity
&emsp;
```dataview
Table from [[2024-07-13]]
```
&emsp;
&emsp;

@ -0,0 +1,134 @@
---
title: "🗒 Daily Note"
allDay: true
date: 2024-07-14
Date: 2024-07-14
DocType: Note
Hierarchy:
TimeStamp:
location:
CollapseMetaTable: true
Sleep: 7.5
Happiness: 80
Gratefulness: 90
Stress: 25
FrontHeadBar: 5
EarHeadBar: 20
BackHeadBar: 30
Water: 6.25
Coffee: 2
Steps: 6250
Weight:
Ski:
IceSkating:
Riding: 2
Racket:
Football:
Swim:
---
%% Parent:: [[@Life Admin]] %%
---
[[2024-07-13|<< 🗓 Previous ]] &emsp; &emsp; &emsp; [[@Main Dashboard|Back]] &emsp; &emsp; &emsp; [[2024-07-15|🗓 Next >>]]
---
&emsp;
```button
name Record today's health
type command
action MetaEdit: Run MetaEdit
id EditMetaData
```
^button-2024-07-14Edit
```button
name Save
type command
action Save current file
id Save
```
^button-2024-07-14NSave
&emsp;
# 2024-07-14
&emsp;
> [!summary]+
> Daily note for 2024-07-14
&emsp;
```toc
style: number
```
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### ✅ Tasks of the day
&emsp;
```tasks
not done
due on 2024-07-14
path does not include Templates
hide backlinks
hide task count
```
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### 📝 Memos
&emsp;
This section does serve for quick memos.
&emsp;
%% --- %%
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### 🗒 Notes
&emsp;
🐎: 2 chukkers with [[@Sally|Sally]] at [[Polo Park Zürich|PPZ]]
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### :link: Linked activity
&emsp;
```dataview
Table from [[2024-07-14]]
```
&emsp;
&emsp;

@ -0,0 +1,134 @@
---
title: "🗒 Daily Note"
allDay: true
date: 2024-07-15
Date: 2024-07-15
DocType: Note
Hierarchy:
TimeStamp:
location:
CollapseMetaTable: true
Sleep: 7
Happiness: 80
Gratefulness: 90
Stress: 25
FrontHeadBar: 5
EarHeadBar: 20
BackHeadBar: 30
Water: 2
Coffee: 5
Steps: 13942
Weight:
Ski:
IceSkating:
Riding:
Racket:
Football:
Swim:
---
%% Parent:: [[@Life Admin]] %%
---
[[2024-07-14|<< 🗓 Previous ]] &emsp; &emsp; &emsp; [[@Main Dashboard|Back]] &emsp; &emsp; &emsp; [[2024-07-16|🗓 Next >>]]
---
&emsp;
```button
name Record today's health
type command
action MetaEdit: Run MetaEdit
id EditMetaData
```
^button-2024-07-15Edit
```button
name Save
type command
action Save current file
id Save
```
^button-2024-07-15NSave
&emsp;
# 2024-07-15
&emsp;
> [!summary]+
> Daily note for 2024-07-15
&emsp;
```toc
style: number
```
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### ✅ Tasks of the day
&emsp;
```tasks
not done
due on 2024-07-15
path does not include Templates
hide backlinks
hide task count
```
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### 📝 Memos
&emsp;
This section does serve for quick memos.
&emsp;
%% --- %%
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### 🗒 Notes
&emsp;
🍽️: [[Big Shells With Spicy Lamb Sausage and Pistachios]]
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### :link: Linked activity
&emsp;
```dataview
Table from [[2024-07-15]]
```
&emsp;
&emsp;

@ -0,0 +1,134 @@
---
title: "🗒 Daily Note"
allDay: true
date: 2024-07-16
Date: 2024-07-16
DocType: Note
Hierarchy:
TimeStamp:
location:
CollapseMetaTable: true
Sleep: 7.5
Happiness: 80
Gratefulness: 90
Stress: 25
FrontHeadBar: 5
EarHeadBar: 20
BackHeadBar: 30
Water: 3
Coffee: 4
Steps: 14236
Weight: 92.8
Ski:
IceSkating:
Riding:
Racket:
Football:
Swim:
---
%% Parent:: [[@Life Admin]] %%
---
[[2024-07-15|<< 🗓 Previous ]] &emsp; &emsp; &emsp; [[@Main Dashboard|Back]] &emsp; &emsp; &emsp; [[2024-07-17|🗓 Next >>]]
---
&emsp;
```button
name Record today's health
type command
action MetaEdit: Run MetaEdit
id EditMetaData
```
^button-2024-07-16Edit
```button
name Save
type command
action Save current file
id Save
```
^button-2024-07-16NSave
&emsp;
# 2024-07-16
&emsp;
> [!summary]+
> Daily note for 2024-07-16
&emsp;
```toc
style: number
```
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### ✅ Tasks of the day
&emsp;
```tasks
not done
due on 2024-07-16
path does not include Templates
hide backlinks
hide task count
```
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### 📝 Memos
&emsp;
This section does serve for quick memos.
&emsp;
%% --- %%
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### 🗒 Notes
&emsp;
🍽️: [[Korean Barbecue-Style Meatballs]]
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### :link: Linked activity
&emsp;
```dataview
Table from [[2024-07-16]]
```
&emsp;
&emsp;

@ -0,0 +1,136 @@
---
title: "🗒 Daily Note"
allDay: true
date: 2024-07-17
Date: 2024-07-17
DocType: Note
Hierarchy:
TimeStamp:
location:
CollapseMetaTable: true
Sleep: 7.5
Happiness: 80
Gratefulness: 90
Stress: 25
FrontHeadBar: 5
EarHeadBar: 20
BackHeadBar: 30
Water: 4.5
Coffee: 5
Steps: 8204
Weight:
Ski:
IceSkating:
Riding: 2
Racket:
Football:
Swim:
---
%% Parent:: [[@Life Admin]] %%
---
[[2024-07-16|<< 🗓 Previous ]] &emsp; &emsp; &emsp; [[@Main Dashboard|Back]] &emsp; &emsp; &emsp; [[2024-07-18|🗓 Next >>]]
---
&emsp;
```button
name Record today's health
type command
action MetaEdit: Run MetaEdit
id EditMetaData
```
^button-2024-07-17Edit
```button
name Save
type command
action Save current file
id Save
```
^button-2024-07-17NSave
&emsp;
# 2024-07-17
&emsp;
> [!summary]+
> Daily note for 2024-07-17
&emsp;
```toc
style: number
```
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### ✅ Tasks of the day
&emsp;
```tasks
not done
due on 2024-07-17
path does not include Templates
hide backlinks
hide task count
```
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### 📝 Memos
&emsp;
This section does serve for quick memos.
&emsp;
%% --- %%
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### 🗒 Notes
&emsp;
🐎: 2 chukkers with [[@Sally|Sally]] at [[Polo Park Zürich|PPZ]]
🍽️: [[Chilli con Carne]]
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### :link: Linked activity
&emsp;
```dataview
Table from [[2024-07-17]]
```
&emsp;
&emsp;

@ -0,0 +1,138 @@
---
title: "🗒 Daily Note"
allDay: true
date: 2024-07-18
Date: 2024-07-18
DocType: Note
Hierarchy:
TimeStamp:
location:
CollapseMetaTable: true
Sleep: 7.5
Happiness: 80
Gratefulness: 90
Stress: 25
FrontHeadBar: 5
EarHeadBar: 20
BackHeadBar: 30
Water: 3.35
Coffee: 3
Steps: 8036
Weight:
Ski:
IceSkating:
Riding: 1
Racket:
Football:
Swim:
---
%% Parent:: [[@Life Admin]] %%
---
[[2024-07-17|<< 🗓 Previous ]] &emsp; &emsp; &emsp; [[@Main Dashboard|Back]] &emsp; &emsp; &emsp; [[2024-07-19|🗓 Next >>]]
---
&emsp;
```button
name Record today's health
type command
action MetaEdit: Run MetaEdit
id EditMetaData
```
^button-2024-07-18Edit
```button
name Save
type command
action Save current file
id Save
```
^button-2024-07-18NSave
&emsp;
# 2024-07-18
&emsp;
> [!summary]+
> Daily note for 2024-07-18
&emsp;
```toc
style: number
```
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### ✅ Tasks of the day
&emsp;
```tasks
not done
due on 2024-07-18
path does not include Templates
hide backlinks
hide task count
```
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### 📝 Memos
&emsp;
This section does serve for quick memos.
&emsp;
%% --- %%
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### 🗒 Notes
&emsp;
📖: [[Underworld]]
🐎: S&B with [[@Sally|Sally]] at [[Polo Park Zürich|PPZ]].
🍽️: [[Chicken Schnitzel]]
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### :link: Linked activity
&emsp;
```dataview
Table from [[2024-07-18]]
```
&emsp;
&emsp;

@ -0,0 +1,134 @@
---
title: "🗒 Daily Note"
allDay: true
date: 2024-07-19
Date: 2024-07-19
DocType: Note
Hierarchy:
TimeStamp:
location:
CollapseMetaTable: true
Sleep: 7.5
Happiness: 80
Gratefulness: 90
Stress: 25
FrontHeadBar: 5
EarHeadBar: 20
BackHeadBar: 30
Water:
Coffee:
Steps:
Weight:
Ski:
IceSkating:
Riding:
Racket:
Football:
Swim:
---
%% Parent:: [[@Life Admin]] %%
---
[[2024-07-18|<< 🗓 Previous ]] &emsp; &emsp; &emsp; [[@Main Dashboard|Back]] &emsp; &emsp; &emsp; [[2024-07-20|🗓 Next >>]]
---
&emsp;
```button
name Record today's health
type command
action MetaEdit: Run MetaEdit
id EditMetaData
```
^button-2024-07-19Edit
```button
name Save
type command
action Save current file
id Save
```
^button-2024-07-19NSave
&emsp;
# 2024-07-19
&emsp;
> [!summary]+
> Daily note for 2024-07-19
&emsp;
```toc
style: number
```
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### ✅ Tasks of the day
&emsp;
```tasks
not done
due on 2024-07-19
path does not include Templates
hide backlinks
hide task count
```
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### 📝 Memos
&emsp;
This section does serve for quick memos.
&emsp;
%% --- %%
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### 🗒 Notes
&emsp;
Loret ipsum
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### :link: Linked activity
&emsp;
```dataview
Table from [[2024-07-19]]
```
&emsp;
&emsp;

@ -1,12 +0,0 @@
---
title: "🧚🏼 Arrivée Meggi-mo"
allDay: true
date: 2022-03-19
endDate: 2022-03-20
CollapseMetaTable: true
---
# Arrivée de [[@@MRCK|Meggi-mo]]
- [l] Arrivée à [[@@Zürich|Zürich]] de Meggi-mo, le [[2022-03-19|19/03/2022]].

@ -1,11 +0,0 @@
---
title: "🧚🏼 Départ de Meggi-mo"
allDay: true
date: 2022-03-24
endDate: 2022-03-25
CollapseMetaTable: true
---
# Départ de Meggi-mo
Départ de ma [[@@MRCK|Meggi-mo]] le [[2022-03-24|24/03/2022]].

@ -1,9 +0,0 @@
---
title: "👨‍👩‍👧 Arrivée de Papa"
allDay: false
startTime: 20:25
endTime: 20:30
date: 2022-03-31
---
- [l] [[2022-03-31]], arrivée de [[Amaury de Villeneuve|Papa]] à [[@@Zürich|Zürich]]

@ -1,9 +0,0 @@
---
title: "👨‍👩‍👧 Départ Papa"
allDay: false
startTime: 13:30
endTime: 14:00
date: 2022-04-04
---
[[2022-04-04]], départ de [[Amaury de Villeneuve|Papa]]

@ -1,11 +0,0 @@
---
title: "🗳 1er tour Présidentielle"
allDay: true
date: 2022-04-10
endDate: 2022-04-11
CollapseMetaTable: true
---
1er tour des élections présidentielles à [[@@Paris|Paris]], le [[2022-04-10|10 avril 2022]]; avec [[@@MRCK|Meggi-mo]] dans l'isoloir.

@ -1,8 +0,0 @@
---
title: "🗳 2nd tour élections présidentielles"
allDay: true
date: 2022-04-24
endDate: 2022-04-25
---
2nd tour des élections présidentielles le [[2022-04-24|24 Avril]] à [[@@Paris|Paris]].

@ -1,9 +0,0 @@
---
title: "🛩 Arrivée à Lisbonne"
allDay: false
startTime: 16:00
endTime: 16:30
date: 2022-04-27
---
Arrival on [[2022-04-27|this day]] in [[Lisbon]].

@ -1,9 +0,0 @@
---
title: "🛩 Départ de Lisbonne"
allDay: false
startTime: 15:30
endTime: 16:00
date: 2022-05-01
---
Departure from [[Lisbon]] to [[@@Zürich|Zürich]] [[2022-05-01|this day]].

@ -1,9 +0,0 @@
---
title: "🧚🏼 Definite arrival of Meggi-mo to Züzü"
allDay: true
startTime: 06:30
endTime: 07:00
date: 2022-05-15
---
[[@@MRCK|Meggi-mo]] is arriving to [[@@Zürich|Zürich]] for good on [[2022-05-15|that day]].

@ -1,17 +0,0 @@
---
title: "🚆 Weekend in GVA"
allDay: true
date: 2022-10-14
endDate: 2022-10-17
CollapseMetaTable: true
---
Weekend à [[Geneva]] avec [[@@MRCK|Meggi-mo]].
&emsp;
Départ: [[2022-10-14]] de [[@@Zürich|Zürich]]
Retour: [[2022-10-16]] à [[@@Zürich|Zürich]]

@ -1,16 +0,0 @@
---
title: "🗼 Weekend à Paris"
allDay: true
date: 2022-10-21
endDate: 2022-10-24
CollapseMetaTable: true
---
Weekend à [[@@Paris|Paris]] avec [[@@MRCK|Meggi-mo]].
&emsp;
Départ: [[2022-10-21]] de [[@@Zürich|Zürich]]
Retour: [[2022-10-23]] à [[@@Zürich|Zürich]]

@ -1,10 +0,0 @@
---
title: "💍 Fiançailles Marguerite & Arnold"
allDay: false
startTime: 16:30
endTime: 15:00
date: 2022-11-19
CollapseMetaTable: true
---
Fiançailles de [[Marguerite de Villeneuve|Marguerite]] et [[Arnold Moulin|Arnold]] [[2022-11-19|ce jour]] à [[Geneva|Genève]].

@ -1,12 +0,0 @@
---
title: "👪 Papa à Zürich"
allDay: true
date: 2022-12-26
endDate: 2022-12-31
completed: null
CollapseMetaTable: true
---
[[Amaury de Villeneuve|Papa]] arrive à [[@@Zürich|Zürich]] le [[2022-12-26|26 décembre]] à 13h26.

@ -1,12 +0,0 @@
---
title: "Stef & Kyna in Zürich"
allDay: true
date: 2022-12-30
endDate: 2023-01-05
completed: null
CollapseMetaTable: true
---
Stef & Kyna arrivent à [[@@Zürich|Zürich]] le [[2022-12-30|30 décembre]] avec Swiss le matin.

@ -1,13 +0,0 @@
---
title: Médecin
allDay: false
startTime: 11:15
endTime: 12:15
date: 2023-01-23
completed: null
CollapseMetaTable: true
---
[[2023-01-23|Ce jour]], 1er RDV avec [[Dr Cleopatra Morales]].

@ -1,12 +0,0 @@
---
title: Genève
allDay: true
date: 2023-02-06
endDate: 2023-02-08
completed: null
CollapseMetaTable: true
---
Depart à [[Geneva|Genève]] [[2023-02-06|ce jour]] et retour le [[223-02-07|lendemain]].

@ -1,13 +0,0 @@
---
title: ⚕ Médecin
allDay: false
startTime: 12:15
endTime: 13:15
date: 2023-02-09
completed: null
CollapseMetaTable: true
---
[[2023-02-09|Ce jour]], RDV de suivi avec [[Dr Cleopatra Morales]]

@ -1,91 +0,0 @@
---
title: "👰‍♀ Mariage Eloi & Zélie"
allDay: true
date: 2023-02-10
endDate: 2023-02-12
CollapseMetaTable: true
---
Mariage d[[Eloi de Villeneuve|Éloi]] avec [[Zélie]] en [[@France|Bretagne]] (Rennes) [[2023-02-11|ce jour]].
&emsp;
🚆: 23h11, arrivée à Rennes
&emsp;
🏨: **Hotel Saint Antoine**<br>27 avenue Janvier<br>Rennes
&emsp;
### Vendredi 10 Février
&emsp;
#### 17h: Mariage civil
Mairie de Montfort-sur-Meu (35)
&emsp;
#### 20h30: Veillée de Prière
Chapelle du château de la Châsse
Iffendic (35)
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### Samedi 11 Février
&emsp;
#### 14h: Messe de Mariage
Saint-Louis-Marie
Montfort-sur-Meu (35)
&emsp;
#### 16h30: Cocktail
Château de la Châsse
Iffendic (35)
&emsp;
#### 19h30: Dîner
Château de la Châsse
Iffendic (35)
&emsp;
---
&emsp;
### Dimanche 12 Février
&emsp;
#### 11h: Messe
Chapelle du château de la Châsse
Iffendic (35)
&emsp;
#### 12h: Déjeuner breton
Château de la Châsse
Iffendic (35)
&emsp;
🚆: 13h35, départ de Rennes

@ -1,13 +0,0 @@
---
title: 🎬 Tár @ Riff Raff
allDay: false
startTime: 20:30
endTime: 22:30
date: 2023-02-19
completed: null
CollapseMetaTable: true
---
[[2023-02-19|Ce jour]], [[Tár (2022)]] @ [[Riff Raff Kino Bar]].

@ -1,12 +0,0 @@
---
title: 🩺 Médecin
allDay: false
startTime: 15:00
endTime: 15:30
date: 2023-03-06
completed: null
CollapseMetaTable: true
---
[[2023-03-06|Ce jour]], rdv avec [[Dr Awad Abuawad]]

@ -1,13 +0,0 @@
---
title: 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Marg & Arnold à Zürich
allDay: true
date: 2023-03-11
endDate: 2023-03-13
completed: null
CollapseMetaTable: true
---
Arrivée le [[2023-03-11|11 mars]] de [[Marguerite de Villeneuve|Marg]] et [[Arnold Moulin|Arnold]].
Départ le [[2023-03-12|lendemain]].

@ -1,12 +0,0 @@
---
title: 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Molly & boyfriend in Zürich
allDay: true
date: 2023-03-18
endDate: 2023-03-20
completed: null
CollapseMetaTable: true
---
Weekend in [[@@Zürich|Zürich]] for [[@@MRCK|Meggi-mo]]s cousin Molly and boyfriend.
Arrival on [[2023-03-18|18th March]] and departure on Monday [[2023-03-20|20th March]].

@ -1,13 +0,0 @@
---
title: 🩺 Médecin
allDay: false
startTime: 11:45
endTime: 12:15
date: 2023-04-14
completed: null
CollapseMetaTable: true
---
[[2023-04-14|Ce jour]], rdv avec [[Dr Cleopatra Morales]]

@ -1,10 +0,0 @@
---
title: 🏠 Arrivée Papa
allDay: false
startTime: 20:26
endTime: 21:26
date: 2023-12-21
completed: null
---
[[2023-12-21|Ce jour]], arrivée de [[Amaury de Villeneuve|Papa]] à [[@@Zürich|Zürich]]

@ -1,10 +0,0 @@
---
title: 🗼 Départ Papa
allDay: false
startTime: 13:30
endTime: 14:30
date: 2023-12-27
completed: null
---
[[2023-12-27|Ce jour]], départ de [[Amaury de Villeneuve|Papa]] de [[@@Zürich|Zürich]] pour [[@@Paris|Paris]]

@ -1,135 +0,0 @@
---
Tag: ["🚔", "💸", "🇺🇸"]
Date: 2023-06-05
DocType: "WebClipping"
Hierarchy:
TimeStamp: 2023-06-05
Link: https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2023/05/the-ugly-fight-over-the-brinks-robbery-in-california.html
location:
CollapseMetaTable: true
---
Parent:: [[@News|News]]
Read:: [[2023-06-05]]
---
&emsp;
```button
name Save
type command
action Save current file
id Save
```
^button-100MillionGonein27MinutesNSave
&emsp;
# $100 Million Gone in 27 Minutes
[crime](https://nymag.com/intelligencer/tags/crime/) Updated May 25, 2023
## After possibly the most expensive jewelry heist in U.S. history, Brinks went after the victims.
![](https://pyxis.nymag.com/v1/imgs/398/8b8/80fc560a9edcf5b2055beac1f3735ac4be-brink-1.rsquare.w700.jpg)
California sheriffs deputies search the back of the Brinks truck where millions in jewelry were stolen last year. Photo: Los Angeles County Sheriffs Department
Jean Malki was carefully wrapping up a necklace containing more than 25 carats of fancy yellow diamonds, a rare Australian-mined Lightning Ridge black opal, and a deep-magenta Burmese ruby after a long day of sales at the International Gem & Jewelry Show when a bewildering announcement came over the loudspeaker.
Strange and suspicious individuals have been seen hanging around the expo, the show organizer warned, urging people to leave with extreme caution.
Up until then, July 10, 2022, had been a normal day for Malki, a veteran jeweler for 40 years who sold most of his estate collection at shows like this one in San Mateo, California, just south of San Francisco. Malki, who got his first taste of the industry by moving diamonds for Zales, is a traveling salesman who continually packs and unpacks items that are sometimes worth millions apiece. These shows feature dozens of jewelers from all over the country selling everything from decorative beads to rare Rolexes. 
Instead of moving the merchandise himself in his car, Malki had opted for what he thought was the safest possible alternative: a Brinks armored truck. He handed his entire collection to a Brinks guard who packed the items into the truck and told Malki he would receive them the following day for another show five hours south in Pasadena.
Soon, Malki learned he had made the wrong decision.
Just after 2 a.m. the next day, at an unremarkable truck stop right at the Los Angeles County line, the guard driving the Brinks truck went inside to grab a bite. His co-pilot was asleep in a berth in the cab. When the driver returned 27 minutes later, dozens of bags of precious gems and watches sent by Malki and 14 other dealers estimated to be worth up to $100 million were gone.
The heist, by some estimates, is the largest jewelry theft by value in modern U.S. history. In the ten months since, the Los Angeles County Sheriffs Department and the FBI have announced no suspects. Even if the thieves are found, it might not help most of the jewelers whose livelihoods were effectively wiped out; they are locked in a bitter legal fight with Brinks that has prevented them from receiving any insurance money. They say they feel robbed twice: first by the thieves, then by Brinks refusal to pay them for what they believe is the companys own negligence.    
Founded in the 19th century, Brinks has been transporting valuables, mostly cash, between banks for so long that its name is synonymous with high security. Its trucks, a fleet of rolling vaults, have long tempted thieves, from the [1981 heist that killed two police officers and a Brinks guard](https://www.cbsnews.com/newyork/news/cheri-laverne-dalton-1981-brinks-robbery-suspect-wanted/) in New York to a string of [armed robberies last month in Chicago](https://abc7chicago.com/armored-truck-robbery-calumet-city-il-brinks/13127609/). In the jewelry trade, Brinks has also become something of a monopoly, according to jewelers. Its often the only option for shipping valuables securely at shows like the San Mateo expo. (In 2018, the company bought a major competitor, Dunbar, for [$520 million](https://www.baltimoresun.com/maryland/baltimore-county/bs-bz-brinks-buys-dunbar-20180814-story.html).) It is so dominant that jewelers and showrunners I spoke with said they fear criticizing Brinks will lead the company to ban them as customers, which could end their businesses.
The vehicle transporting millions of dollars in jewelry from San Mateo was not one of the companys famous armored cars but a semitruck. While the cab was armored, according to a review of sheriffs deputies body-camera footage, the trailer actually carrying the valuables was not. There were no surveillance cameras, and an incident report noted the jewelry was secured inside the trailer by a single locking device in the rear. The thieves simply cut the lock, as evidenced by the slivers of metal left behind, and appeared to have taken it with them.
Thats not the level of security the jewelers thought they had signed up for.
The trucks lock was taken after it was cut. Photo: Los Angeles County Sheriffs Department
“Brinks was supposed to use an armored truck. They didnt use an armored truck; they used a trailer to transport our jewelry,” said Ming Cheng, a jeweler who worked the show with his wife. He lost his entire stock in the theft, mostly hundreds of pieces of pearl jewelry. “And only two armed guards — one was sleeping, and one went to get some food, and they didnt keep an eye on the truck. How could this happen?”
The Brinks guards seemed just as shocked.
That night, James Beaty had been sleeping in a small compartment behind the seats, taking what Brinks says was part of the federally required ten hours off per day that limit how much time a driver can be awake on the road. Tandy Motley had been behind the wheel for hours when he pulled into the Flying J truck stop in Lebec. When he came out after his meal, he noticed the red seal wrapping the back of the truck had been torn and was lying on the ground. He called 911.
The guards determined that 24 of the 73 bags Brinks had initially said were onboard were missing, according to the body-camera footage, though Brinks would later put the figure at 22.
“Holy shit,” Beaty said after counting. “Ive been here eight years, and Ive never seen anything like this.”
They began piecing the night together, telling the two officers who arrived that they thought they had been followed from the show in San Mateo.
“I just had a weird feeling,” said Motley between puffs on his vape, about a figure at the show. “He was staring me right in the eye. And I looked — its like why is this guy dogging me? He had a beard, driving a silver SUV. And then just sitting there for like two minutes. And then I was — after that, I was kind of watching to see if anyone was following me … They had to have come in here with a fucking trailer.”
The guards and deputies agreed it appeared to be a calculated theft for another reason: The stolen items were not the most convenient to grab, as the bags from the immediate opening of the back door would have been were the thieves in a hurry to take what they could. The missing bags were stowed further back and had been seemingly handpicked even though the entire load was wrapped in identical, bright-orange heavy plastic bags that concealed what was inside.
“Well, what doesnt make sense to me is you would think the back half of the trailer would be empty rather than leapfrogging the stuff,” said one deputy.
“As much as they took in a little amount of time — they knew what they was getting,” said Beaty.
Consequently, the guards suggested the thief could have been one of the jewelers. “It almost makes me wonder if the jeweler robbed himself, you know? Like he knew exactly what they had or something, right, for insurance,” said Motley.
Later, Motley said he was worried the suspicion might turn on him. “You know what worries me the most is they always want to blame the employee first,” he confided to one of the deputies.
Each of the 73 bags was labeled with a distinctive colored tag, but its in dispute whether those tags denoted value, destination, or ownership. After the deputies arrived, Beaty called the Brinks guard who had packed up the shipments at the show, whose name was given as Nelson. Based on what Beaty claimed was their conversation, he told deputies the tags indicated value.
“He thinks that all the LAX stuff is what got stolen because its the highest value,” Beaty said of Nelson, referring to bags that were headed to Los Angeles International Airport instead of the Pasadena show.
“But thats right there,” Motley said, confused. “It says LAX on it.”
“Im just telling you what he said,” Beaty replied, and the contradiction wasnt pursued any further.
It later was determined that the jewelry stolen was indeed among some of the most expensive pieces being shipped, according to Gerald L. Kroll, the lawyer representing the victims against Brinks. Taken together, the ease of the theft and the weak security have left some of them believing it was an inside job.
“Reading the police report that we had, its just kind of hard to believe its just a coincidence that some people decided to rob a Brinks truck. And they knew when they were going to leave. They knew where theyre going to stop. They knew how long theyre going to stop,” said Malki.
Sergeant Michael Mileski confirmed that the Los Angeles County Sheriffs Department Major Crimes Bureau and the FBI were looking into that angle. He said authorities have so far served several warrants at various residences and businesses for records and to search property but have no updates to announce. The lack of answers has allowed rumors to swirl about where the gemstones and watches went, including that some of the pieces ended up in Israel. Others believe the thieves are playing it smart by holding on to the jewelry and will likely do so for years until the spotlight fades.
Bags were stolen from deep inside the truck, suggesting the thieves knew what they were looking for. Photo: Los Angeles County Sheriffs Department
Some of the jewelers learned their collections had been stolen not through Brinks but through word of mouth. Cheng found out something was wrong when his items didnt arrive at the Pasadena show and he went to the Brinks office in downtown L.A. for answers. Even then, he couldnt get any information. Not until two days after the heist did Brinks send letters to each jeweler alerting them of a “loss incident.” The company said it couldnt comment on an active investigation but promised that it “strives to implement the best security practices to protect our customers assets.”
Cheng said his takeaway from Brinks handling of the situation was “theyre hiding something, thats for sure.”
Brinks eventually returned with an offer: They would pay the jewelers back the amount they had bought in insurance for the theft but no more. The total the jewelers had purchased from Brinks, in addition to their own insurance they had elsewhere, was just under $10 million. The majority of the jewelers, who argue that their collections totalled a true value nearly ten times that, scoffed. So two months later, Brinks sued them in a New York federal court, in part accusing the jewelers of breach of contract and of fraud because they had allegedly undervalued their items. “Brinks believes that each Defendant seeks to recover more from Brinks than is permitted under the Contract,” the company wrote in its suit. (Brinks did not respond to requests for comment.)
The lawyer defending the jewelers sees it differently. “We feel confident that we have enough evidence to prove the purported contract is unconscionable. The clients were told to write down how much insurance they wanted,” Kroll said, not the value of their goods. “The example would be like fire insurance on your home. Who insures 100 percent of their house? Your house might be worth many millions of dollars, but you get to decide how much insurance you want for an event of a fire.”
“Our contracts are clear, easy to read, and, except to Mr. Kroll, uncontroversial,” Brinks shot back. “The contracts clearly ask our customers to state the actual value of their goods, and explain that we will reimburse losses promptly up to that declared value.
Two weeks later, 14 of the 15 victims countersued Brinks in Los Angeles County Superior Court, seeking $200 million in total damages. (Since then, three have settled for an undisclosed sum.) They accuse the company of negligence for putting their valuables in a lightly protected truck, especially after being warned of heightened security risk at the expo. The show manager, Arnold Duke, said in an interview that he had alerted the Brinks guards.
“We say in this case that Brinks should have paid them the insurance value on day one,” said Kroll. “Thats what the people paid for, and thats what they expect to see. I think Brinks is trying to hold that money as a tactic to get these people to capitulate. Most of these people have lost everything. These are mom-and-pop businesses. This is not the lifestyle of the rich and famous.”
“Our customers trust us to cover them for any losses, however unlikely,” Brinks said. “In turn, we trust our customers to declare the full and correct value of the goods they ask us to transport. According to the information the customers provided to us before they shipped their items, the total value of the missing items is less than $10 million. In this case, we held up our end and fulfilled our contract, promptly settling a claim by one of the affected customers and subsequently settling two more. The others have chosen to litigate, admitting under oath that they undervalued their goods, and even did so regularly. While we are deeply disappointed by this breach of our trust and the plain language of our contracts, the courts have responded favorably to our position, and we remain willing to compensate these customers for the declared value of their goods.”
The lawsuits have also revealed strange inconsistencies in the thefts timeline. First, that the truck left San Mateo at midnight and arrived 300 miles away at the Flying J truck stop in just two hours — meaning the semi would have had to be going about 150 miles per hour. But in a deposition, the driving guard said they actually left much earlier, at 8:25 p.m. Second, Beaty said in a deposition that he went to sleep at 3:39 p.m. on the day the jewelry was loaded onto the truck and wasnt woken up until after the heist at almost 3 a.m.
Brinks in its lawsuit argues that Beaty followed standard company practices and was “in compliance” with federal regulations that allow drivers time to sleep and take breaks. But Kroll said that by the time the truck had pulled into the rest stop just after 2 a.m., Beatys ten hours of mandated sleep were up. When deposed by Kroll, Beaty acknowledged that he could have been woken up and outside on guard by then.
Since the lawsuits began, Brinks has cut off all ties with the jewelers involved and wont allow them to use their company for security. The jewelers arent sure if its a lifetime ban. “Its like youre killing somebody and then on the day of their funeral, youll be the first one to walk in,” said Malki, who is struggling to support three young children.
With no resolution in sight, Cheng is stuck paying rent for an empty showroom because, he said, his landlord wont let him out of the lease. After immigrating to Los Angeles from Hong Kong, he got into the jewelry business at 21 and learned English from his customers. For the past 30 years, he has flown to a show almost every week, traveling what he estimates as 3 million miles in total. Earlier this month, he started a new job: working six days a week as a sous-chef at a Chinese restaurant.
“I dont think anybody could prepare for this. What comes worse than death? I think besides death, this is something worse to happen to you,” Cheng said through tears. “Im 66 years old now — the only thing I know is the jewelry business, I dont speak very good English, and I wasnt educated too much. I have to start everything again. If I am young, I can handle it, but its been so hard.”
$100 Million Gone in 27 Minutes
&emsp;
&emsp;
---
`$= dv.el('center', 'Source: ' + dv.current().Link + ', ' + dv.current().Date.toLocaleString("fr-FR"))`

@ -1,549 +0,0 @@
---
Tag: ["🥉", "🏈", "🇺🇸", "👤"]
Date: 2023-02-12
DocType: "WebClipping"
Hierarchy:
TimeStamp: 2023-02-12
Link: https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/35604915/49ers-legend-joe-montana-reflects-legacy-ahead-super-bowl
location:
CollapseMetaTable: true
---
Parent:: [[@News|News]]
Read:: [[2023-02-14]]
---
&emsp;
```button
name Save
type command
action Save current file
id Save
```
^button-49erslegendJoeMontanareflectsonlegacyNSave
&emsp;
# 49ers legend Joe Montana reflects on legacy ahead of Super Bowl
**MY LATE FATHER** bought me a Joe Montana jersey when I was a boy. Home red with white stripes. I don't remember when he gave it to me, or why, but I'll never forget the way the mesh sleeves felt against my arms. The last time I visited my mom, I looked for it in her closets. She said it'd been put away somewhere. On trips home I half expect to still see my dad sitting at the head of the long dining room table, papers strewn, working on a brief or a closing argument. He was an ambitious man who had played quarterback in high school and loved what that detail told people about him -- here, friends, was a leader, a winner, a person his peers trusted most in moments when they needed something extraordinary. Lots of young men like my father play high school quarterback, roughly 16,000 starters in America each year. Only 746 men have ever played the position in the modern NFL and just 35 of them are in the Hall of Fame. What my father knew when he gave me that jersey was that only *one* of them was Joe Montana.
Tom Brady Sr., bought his son, Tommy, a No. 16 jersey once, too. They sat in the upper deck of Candlestick Park together on Sundays. They looked down onto the field and dreamed. Tommy enrolled as a freshman at Michigan the year Joe Montana retired from football. Forced out of the game by injuries, Montana left as the unquestioned greatest of all time. His reputation had been bought in blood and preceded him like rose petals. Everybody knew. But over time the boy who sat in the upper deck idolizing Montana delivered on his own dreams and built his own reputation. Here, friends, was a threat. The boy, of course, went on to win his own Super Bowls. A fourth, a fifth, a sixth and a seventh. Parents now buy their children No. 12 jerseys because there can only be one unquestioned greatest of all time. No. 16 is no longer what it once was. Joe Montana now must be something else.
"Does it bug you?" I ask.
"Not really," Montana says.
He sits at his desk and taps his fingers on his thumb, counting, keeping track of odds and evens. Placid on the surface, churning beneath the waves.
"You start thinking," he says, his voice trailing off.
"I wish ... "
---
![](https://a1.espncdn.com/combiner/i?img=%2Fphoto%2F2023%2F0207%2Fnfl_joe%2Dmontana%2Dlegacy_16x9.jpg&w=320&h=180&scale=crop&location=origin)
**MONTANA COMES INTO** his San Francisco office waving around a box of doughnuts he picked up at a hole in the wall he loves. He's got on Chuck Taylors and a fly-fishing T-shirt.
"... so chocolate, regular and maple crumb," he says.
It's a big day for his venture capital firm and nothing spreads cheer like an open box of doughnuts. He looks inside and chooses.
"Maple."
It's a tiny office, stark, with mostly empty shelves, a place rigged for work. There's a signed John Candy photo a client sent him -- a nod to a famous moment in his old life -- leaning against the wall. Four Super Bowl rings buy him very little this morning on the last day of the Y Combinator -- a kind of blind date Silicon Valley prom that puts a highly curated group of 400 founders in front of a thousand or so top investors. Each founder gets about a minute and a half to two minutes to pitch investors like Joe. A company founder promises to, say, fully automate the packing process, reducing manual labor from days to hours, a market opportunity of $10 billion. You can hear the nerves in their voices as they talk into their webcam. Some clearly haven't slept in days. Without considering my audience -- 11 plays, 92 yards, 2 minutes, 46 seconds -- I marvel at the insanity of having your entire future determined in an instant.
"I know," Montana laughs.
His company, Liquid 2, consists of multiple funds. He's got two founding partners, Michael Ma and Mike Miller. Recently he brought in his son, Nate, along with a former Notre Dame teammate of Nate's named Matt Mulvey -- which makes three Fighting Irish quarterbacks. His daughter, Elizabeth, runs the office with a velvet fist. Their first fund is a big success and contains 21 "unicorns," which is slang for a billion-dollar company. They're headed toward 10 times the original investment. Montana, it turns out, is good at this.
"You just look at the teams and the relationship of the founders," he says. "How they get along? How long they've known each other?"
We take the doughnuts and his computer down the hall to a conference room. Nate and Matt are already there.
"So that guy hasn't responded to us," Matt tells him.
That guy, Amer Baroudi, is a Rhodes scholar and a founder of a company they love. It's always a dance. Much bigger investors than Liquid 2 are also after these ideas. The guys huddle and decide that No. 16 should write him directly, politely, and tell him they're interested and would love to connect. As he does that, the companies keep presenting new ideas. Microloans in Mexico. A digital bank for African truckers. They're all on their laptops and their phones while the presentations happen on a big screen at the end of the room. His partners keep in touch on a Slack channel. Joe's handle is JCM.
One founder developed weapons for the Department of Defense. Another worked for NASA. Every other one it seems went to MIT or Cal Tech. They worked for McKinsey and the Jet Propulsion Laboratory. One idea after another, pitched by passionate, interesting people. I can feel Joe vibrating with energy and excitement. He leans over Nate's shoulder with his hand on his back. He rubs his nose, then his chin, then moves his hand over his mouth in concentration. His eyes narrow.
He checks his phone and smiles.
"Amer," he says.
---
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**MONTANA'S CAR IS** parked a block up and we get to an intersection just as the light is changing. A work truck lurches into the intersection and then stops. The driver rolls down the window and sticks out his head. He nods at me.
"I might hit *you* ... " he says.
He looks at Joe and breaks into a grin.
"... but I won't hit him."
The Montanas live in a city where it's still common for No. 16 to be the only Niners jersey framed on barroom walls. He's beloved in the 7-mile by 7-mile square where he built his legend and where he and his wife, Jennifer, built their life. The Montana home is just steps from where Joe proposed nearly 40 years ago. Friends joke about how grossly romantic they are, always holding hands, still taking baths together, and one friend said she can actually see Joe's body language change when Jennifer enters a room, as if he knows it's OK to relax. In the car he's always got his hand on her knee. Once during a game he looked at the sideline phone that connected him to the coaches upstairs. He picked it up and, just to see, pressed nine. To his shock he got an outside line and looking around, he dialed Jennifer to say hello. She's always been able to level him out. "The only one that cools him down -- and he doesn't go full Super Bowl mode -- is if my mom's there," Nick Montana says.
From one of their roof decks in the Marina district, they can see both bridges, Alcatraz and the old wharfs. After moving around a lot since football ended they've returned here. They know their neighbors. The kid whose family shares a fence line once accidentally threw his USC branded football over that fence. It came hurtling back -- with a note written on the ball that said, "Go Notre Dame. Joe Montana No. 3." It's a beautiful place to call home. Their lives revolve around the kitchen. Jennifer and the two girls make salads. Joe mans the wood burning oven or the grill. The two boys -- "they're useless," Jennifer jokes -- bring wine or lug stuff around. Everyone does the dishes.
"They're very Italian," family friend Lori Puccinelli-Stern says. "A lot of everything they do is around a big table with family and friends and them cooking. Cooking together. Eating together."
Before they died Joe's parents always lived near them. When he retired, Grammy and Pappy moved up to Napa Valley, too. Pappy coached the boys' and girls' youth sports teams. Most Sundays after football ended they would all gather for huge family dinners. Grammy would make her famous ravioli. Jennifer makes it now.
The neighborhood between his office and his home is North Beach, the old San Francisco Italian enclave, and one afternoon he drove me down the main boulevard. We passed Francis Ford Coppola's office and the famous City Lights bookstore, rolling through the trattorias and corner bars of North Beach. Up the hill to the left is the street where Joe DiMaggio grew up. DiMaggio's father, Giuseppe, kept his small fishing boat at the marina where the Montanas now live. Every day, no matter how dark and menacing the bay, Giuseppe DiMaggio awoke before the sun and steered his boat off the coast of California. He gave his son an American first name and wanted for him an ambitious American life. Joltin' Joe realized every dream his dad dreamed but emerged from the struggle a bitter man prone to black moods as rough and unpredictable as his father's workplace.
Bitterness is such a common affliction of once-great athletes that it's only noteworthy when absent. Ted Williams burned every family photo. Michael Jordan kept trying to get down to his playing weight of 218 years after his retirement. The story goes that Mickey Mantle used to go sit in his car during rainstorms, drunk and crying, because the water hitting the roof sounded like cheers. Joe and Jennifer's front door is just around the corner, maybe a three-minute walk, from the house DiMaggio bought for his parents with his first big check in 1937 and where he moved when he retired from baseball in 1951. He and Marilyn Monroe spent their wedding night there. The Marina remained full of memories for him. DiMaggio loved to sit alone there and stare out to sea as if looking for a returning vessel. The two Joes knew each other in the 1980s but weren't friends. DiMaggio was much closer to Joe's mother, who worked as a teller at the branch where the Yankee legend banked.
"Why did your mom have a job?" I ask as we drive down Columbus Avenue.
Joe smiles. His mom was one of a kind. When he was a kid she bleached his football pants at night so he'd always look the best. She found the job herself.
"She got tired of just hanging around," he says.
---
**THE FIRST JOSEPH** Montana, Joe's great-grandfather, was born Guiseppi Montani in 1865 in a mountain village in the Piedmont region of Italy. The Montanis had been in their town for generations when Guiseppi left everything behind. He carried only his name, which described the world he'd left behind. In America, the family changed the "i" to an "a" and were now the Montanas of Monongahela City, Pennsylvania, putting down roots in a sooty town with physical but stable jobs. All the men worked in coal and steel. They raised huge American families. Guiseppi died in his home on Main Street and left behind 16 grandchildren, one of them Joe's dad. Two of Joe's grandparents were born in Italy. All four were Italian. His maternal grandmother, who went to Mass every day and spent the rest of her time sewing, always told him stories about her home.
"My grandmother came over when she was 12 or 13," he says.
"You've been to the town?"
"Yeah," he says, "but I'm trying to get back."
He regrets not learning Italian as a child when he moved around the ankles and knees of his relatives who parlo'd and prego'd away in the kitchen, a place where flour and water became dough. A few times as an adult he's tried to learn. Taken classes. Bought Rosetta Stone. It just never stuck. Even as he reaches an age where learning new things can hang just out of reach, he remains happiest when he's curious and engaged. It's clear his kitchen in San Francisco is a place where he engages with his ancestors. The old ways matter to him. Once during a commercial shoot at Ellis Island he slipped away to find his family's records. I can picture him in those archives, a public figure on the outside but inside still the boy trying to understand where he came from, why he wanted what he wanted, why he feared what he feared. He inherited his ambition from his father, who inherited it from his grandfather, who pulled up stakes and wrote a new story on top of a rich vein of coal. His inheritance is both a charge and a burden. He's not standing on the shoulders of his ancestors so much as he is bringing them along for the ride -- chasing a dream so big that reaching it would make all their dreams come true as well. His inheritance demanded that he strive for the mountaintop alone -- *Guiseppi Montani* -- and his birthright promises that he be permitted to enjoy reflecting on that climb.
His grandmother refused her wealthy grandson's offers of an all-paid return trip to her village, he says. She wanted her memories of the past to remain uncomplicated. Hers was a generation that wanted to keep moving forward, to resist the pull of some older and more limiting story of who they were or what they were capable of becoming. Hers was a devout act of forgetting. Joe understands. He doesn't go home anymore, either.
His high school football coach, Chuck Abramski, hated him. Really he hated Joe's father, who wanted to be the primary voice in his talented son's ear, but he took it out on Joe. When Montana refused to quit basketball to join Abramski's offseason workout program, Abramski didn't start him for three games until he looked dumb keeping a phenom on the sideline. When Joey Montana became the Greatest of All Time, his success turned Abramski's coaching career into footnote, a parable about a small man not ready for his moment in the sun. That ate at him. His tombstone says Coach. It was his entire identity. He was a proud man who, when faced with the biggest decision of his professional life, made the wrong one, out of stubbornness and pride, and then doubled down on his mistake over and over again. Every few years he would get quoted in a Montana profile. The last time came in the days before Montana's fourth and final Super Bowl, which he would win.
"A lot of people in Monongahela hate Joe," Abramski told Sports Illustrated.
He kept going.
"If I was in a war," he said, "I wouldn't want Joe on my side. His dad would have to carry his gun for him."
"I called him about it," Montana said at the time. "Three times now, I've seen those Abramski quotes around Super Bowl time, about why people hate me. I asked him why he kept saying those things, and he said, 'Well, you never sent me a picture, and you sent one to Jeff Petrucci, the quarterback coach.' I said, 'You never asked.' I mean, I don't send my picture around everywhere. We ended up yelling at each other. We had to put our wives on."
Montana showed grace the coach couldn't really bring himself to show. He invited Abramski to Canton, Ohio, for his Hall of Fame induction.
"Joe was very gracious to my dad," daughter Marian Fiscus says.
Abramski died almost five years ago.
Montana doesn't feel nostalgic about his hometown. He left it for good long ago. Once he and his family flew to Pittsburgh for an event. Jennifer and their daughters took a day and drove the 27 miles south to Monongahela to see where Joe grew up. They plugged in the address and ended up at a collapsing house occupied by squatters. Joe stayed behind in Pittsburgh, like his grandmother, looking beyond whatever they might find in the old dirt.
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**WE GO TO** lunch at a small Italian place near his office on the edge of North Beach and Chinatown. Joe orders the pesto for his pasta. It's not on the menu, but they make it for him. He checks his watch. After lunch he's got a meeting and then he promised to show a neighbor how to make an anchovy dip created 700 years ago two hours south of where Guiseppi Montani lived. Joe's neighbor bought the ingredients and is paying for the lesson with a few Manhattans.
Sitting at the table, after we each order a glass of white wine, Joe tells me a story.
They were in Italy. Joe and Jennifer, their girls. His parents. Her parents. They got to Sicily, to the town where his mother's family lived. They wandered into a little restaurant on a side street. The owner of the place played a trumpet whenever the mood struck. The grown-ups drank three bottles of wine.
The waiter came up to Alexandra. She was 18 months old.
"Vino, prego," she said. The adults roared approval.
"I can't give you wine," the waiter said kindly.
"OK," she replied. "Beer then."
The room erupted. The staff loved this big American family. The Montanas ate and laughed. The owner played his horn. Later, the Montanas moved outside and found a nearby park where a man played accordion and local couples danced in the dust. The Montana girls joined in. Joe watched, smiling, holding on to the picture of it in his mind.
Back in San Francisco, our wine arrives. Big and crisp. Perfect for lunch. He raises a glass and says "Cheers." We are at a table in the back with me facing the room. I can see the whispers and pointing begin. Depending on when you were born, Joe Montana is either the most famous man in the world or a fading former football star, but he is always Joe Montana. Well, almost always. There's a funny story. A few years back he went to watch a family friend coach a college volleyball game at the University of San Francisco. The gym holds 3,000 people but when the game starts only about 200 are in the seats. Then Joe comes in. A half-hour later the stands are packed, the news of his appearance gone viral in the insular city. The crowd is now rocking, except the camera flashes are all middle-aged men trying to get a shot of Joe pumping his fist.
Before the third game the teams take a break.
One of the players is freaking out at the size and volume of the crowd.
"Where did all these people come from?" she asks in a panic.
Her coach apologizes and says it was his fault and he'd invited his very famous friend, Joe Montana. The girl grins and nods.
"Oh my god!" she says. "Hannah Montana's dad is here?!"
Montana's children say he likes being recognized more now than he did at the peak of his powers. He knows what it is like to be both canonized *and* forgotten. "I can see that heartbreak in my dad a little bit," his daughter, Allie, tells me. "The more distance he gets from his career, the more time he spends reminiscing on stories." But he's learning to make peace with slipping from the white-hot center of the culture, too. His most recent Guinness commercial has him at a bar where he laughs when some young guy asks if he used to play pro tennis.
One of the recent California wildfires nearly burned down their big home in wine country. After they'd been evacuated a law enforcement friend called Joe and told him to come immediately if they wanted to save anything. The house held every piece of football memorabilia he owned. His home gym was full of it, floor to ceiling. They rushed in and had only minutes to get what mattered most. He and Jennifer grabbed family photographs and big stacks of the kids' artwork over the years. They turned to go, but Nick stopped them as they headed out the front door. They'd left something priceless and irreplaceable behind, he said. He was right. They went back and carried out cases of Screaming Eagle cabernet and the old Bordeaux.
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**NOT FIVE MINUTES** later we're at the same table drinking the same crisp white wine from the same delicate stemware when the mood suddenly darkens. The trigger, I think, is a question about the bitterness of DiMaggio, who'd grown up so close to where we sat. Montana chafes at the word, *bitter*, and empathizes with the baseball legend.
"Some things stick with you," he says.
A neuron fires in whatever part of his hippocampus that's kept him as driven after four titles as he was before one.
"Are there things you're still struggling to let go of?"
He pauses.
"I struggle to try to understand how the whole process took place with me leaving San Francisco," he says. "I should have never had to leave."
You wanted an audience with that other Joe Montana? Here he is. In the flesh, vulnerable and wounded, holding his hurt in his hands like a beating heart. Time seems to collapse for him a bit, as if an old wound is being felt fresh. We're at the table waiting on pesto, but he's somewhere else.
Jennifer Montana spots these approaching storms faster than anyone else in his life. Some mornings, she says, she sticks out her hand and says, "I'm sorry, my name is Jennifer. I don't think we've met."
A black mood can make him shut down.
"He's so complex," she says. "Joe, and you'll hear me tell you this so many times, he has so many different personalities. There's two or three main ones. The main one is about kindness. There's a deep, deep kind of love and affection. And then there's a moody, everybody-out-to-get-him kind of personality. It's only true in his mind."
He's most sensitive when someone tries to take something from him. At every level he's had to fight his way onto the field. Chuck Abramski wanted to replace him with a kid named Paul Timko. Dan Devine wanted to replace him with Rusty Lisch *and* Gary Forystek. Bill Walsh and George Seifert wanted to replace him with Steve Young. "It's actually what was feeding the beast," Jennifer tells me later. "He continually thinks of himself as the underdog and that they want to take this or that person wants this. They said I can't."
He sits at the table now reconstructing a timeline. Chapter and verse. In 1988 and 1989, he led the team to Super Bowl titles. His third and fourth. In 1990 San Francisco was leading the NFC Championship Game deep in the fourth quarter when he got hurt. Steve Young took over and Montana never started for the Niners again.
"Why wasn't I allowed to compete for the job?" he says. "I just had one of the best years I'd ever had. I could understand if I wasn't playing well. We had just won two Super Bowls and I had one of my best years and we were winning in the championship game when I got hurt. How do I not get an opportunity? That's the hardest part."
As Montana worked to recover, he says Seifert banned him from the facility when the team was in the locker room. Something ruptured inside Joe that still hasn't healed. Those other coaches doubted him, fueled him, even manipulated him, but in the end they never pushed him out of the circle. A team was a sacred thing. Joe's an only child -- an essential detail to understand, former teammate Ronnie Lott says, because he lived so much of his early life in his own head -- and his teammates became his family. All the old Niners knew Joe's parents. They gathered around his mom's table for ravioli. Jennifer made fried chicken for team flights. As much as Joe wanted to win football games he also wanted to belong to his teammates, and they to him.
"Why am I not allowed in the facility?" he says. "What did I do to not be allowed in the facility?"
Montana did his rehab alone. Isolated and wounded, he faced endless blocks of time. One way he filled it was going to a nearby airport for flying lessons. The 49ers facility was in line with the flight path in and out of the field. Every day he'd take off and from the air he could see *his* team playing without him.
"They wouldn't even let me dress."
He returned for the final regular-season game of 1992 and played well in the second half. On his last play Seifert wanted a run, according to Montana, who instead threw a touchdown pass. On the sideline, Montana says, Seifert threw his headset down. Word got back to Montana, who has never let that go, either.
He sighs.
He says he ran into Seifert the night before a funeral for one of the old Niners a few years ago. Jennifer and Joe walked into a hotel bar and there was George and his wife. Jennifer pulled Joe over to say hello.
"The most uncomfortable thing I've been through in a long time," he says.
They tried to make small talk and then just fell silent.
"Inside I think he knows," Montana says, before he moves back to talking about old Italian recipes and family vacations, the storm ebbing away. "You guys won another Super Bowl, but you probably would have two or three more if I'd stuck around."
Three more, by the way, would give him seven.
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**WALMART ONCE PAID** Joe Montana, John Elway, Dan Marino and Johnny Unitas to do an event. The four quarterbacks went out to dinner afterward. They laughed and told stories and drank expensive wine. Then the check came. The late, great Unitas loved to tell this story. Montana grinned and announced that whichever guy had the fewest rings would have to pay the bill. Joe had four, including one over Marino and one over Elway. Elway had two. Unitas said he only had one Super Bowl ring but had of course won three NFL titles before the Super Bowl existed.
Marino cursed and picked up the check.
*Joe liked being king,* is how his fiercest rival, Steve Young, puts it to me. I sit at a table in Palo Alto with Young, who laughs a little as he describes being around other guys who've dominated his position.
"You want to talk about a weird environment," he says. "Go hang out with 10 Hall of Fame quarterbacks. Every one is kind of like ... "
Young looks around from side to side at imaginary rivals. Preening stars and maladjusted grinders, insecure narcissists and little boys still trying to earn their father's love, just a whole mess of somewhat unhinged alpha males with long records of accomplishment.
"... do we race?" he says.
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**IN THE PAST** nine seasons, before retiring for the second time in as many years, Tom Brady won four Super Bowls. Montana watched those games, most at his home overlooking San Francisco Bay. He's been known to sometimes yell at the television, not so quietly rooting for the Seahawks or Falcons. In an email to me once, Montana called him "the guy in Tampa" instead of using his name.
"He definitely cares," Elizabeth Montana says. "I don't think he would own up to caring, but he gets pretty animated at the Tom Brady comparison and is quick to point out the game has changed so much."
Brady was 4 years old when he watched Joe throw the famous touchdown pass to Dwight Clark. He and his parents went together. Tom cried because they wouldn't buy him a foam finger. That was 1982. Montana showed him the way. Both were underrated out of high school and both slipped in the draft because supposed genius coaches didn't quite believe in them.
Montana watched Brady's first professional snap in person. The Patriots played in the Hall of Fame preseason game in Canton just two days after Montana stood on stage there and delivered his induction speech. He'd awoken in the dark the night before to write it, finally figuring out a way to say what he felt.
"I feel like I'm in my grave in my coffin, alive," he told the crowd. "And they're putting, throwing dirt on me, and I can feel it, and I'm trying to get out."
He was 44 years old.
They met for the first time not long after that. Montana invited him out to the house and they visited. Nate and Nick remember Brady serving as timekeeper as the brothers tried to see who could hold their breath longer in the swimming pool.
Brady won three Super Bowls in four seasons and then stalled. A decade passed. One night, working on a story, I drank wine and smoked cigars with Michael Jordan in his condo. We argued about sports and watched ESPN. A "SportsCenter" poll asked viewers to vote for either Montana or Brady as the greatest quarterback and this set Jordan off. At that moment Brady only had three titles and Montana had four, but the idea of the undefeated nature of time hit Jordan hard. "They're gonna say Brady because they don't remember Montana," he said. "Isn't that amazing?"
Brady missed an entire season to an injury and lost two Super Bowls. He looked at his hero's career and saw the warning signs coming true. Once at an event in Boston he got interviewed by positive thought guru Tony Robbins and talked about how he saw injuries derail the career of Montana. His almost religious dedication to prolonging his career was in some part born out of Montana's pain. In 2015, seven months before Montana founded Liquid 2, Brady won his fourth Super Bowl.
When Pete Carroll called for the pass that ended up in Malcolm Butler's hands, Montana yelled what everyone else did, but with a little more on the line.
"Give the damn ball to Marshawn," he says.
In 2016, at Super Bowl 50, the game's greats all returned for a ceremony. It was a big enough deal that Jennifer Montana went into the safe and took out all four of Joe's rings to wear on a safety pin as a brooch. Nearly every living Super Bowl MVP took the field. Montana was cheered. Brady, recently shadowed by deflated footballs, was booed. A month later Brady and Julian Edelman worked out in Brady's home gym. "Houston" was written on a whiteboard. Edelman asked what it meant, and Brady said that's where the Super Bowl was being held that season.
"We're gonna get you past Joe," Edelman told him.
Brady stared at him.
"I'm not going for Montana," he said. "I'm going for Jordan."
Brady liked to text Joe from time to time and talk about breaking his record. Joe laughed but his inner circle quietly bristled. I ask Steve Young if Tom Brady knows he's in Joe Montana's head? "I think anybody that traffics in this space knows exactly what's going on," Young says finally. "But everyone has to recognize and appreciate that's how you get there. Joe is not immune."
Montana's family is protective of his legacy. His sons accurately point out that no modern quarterback has ever taken hits like the ones their dad absorbed regularly. Jennifer correctly says the game has changed too much to compare eras and that he played in four and won four. But four is still less than still seven. Recently Brady and Montana were voted by the NFL as two of the greatest quarterbacks of all time. "I'm sure there's a kid out there somewhere who's looking at this list, watching tape of me and Joe and making plans to knock both of us down a spot," Brady said.
Brady praises Montana as "a killer" in public, but Joe's friends feel like he's made little effort to get to know the older player in real life. They have each other's phone numbers. Something about Brady specifically seems to irritate Montana -- friends say he'd be happy if Patrick Mahomes won eight titles -- but the truth is, the two men are similar, driven by similar emotions to be great. Ultimately Montana may not care about a ring count, but watching himself get knocked down a spot fires deep powerful impulses and trips old wires even now.
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**IN THE PAST** several years Montana authorized and participated in a six-part docuseries, which came as a shock to people who knew how militantly the quarterback guarded his privacy. The documentary, "Cool Under Pressure," premiered in January 2022, just two months after Brady's own docuseries. The opening narration sets the frame Montana sees for himself: "For decades he was considered the GOAT of quarterbacks. What most don't know is he spent his whole career being doubted."
The Montanas watched the first rough cut of the documentary on vacation with their closest couple friends, Lori Puccinelli-Stern and her husband, Peter Stern. Joe puttered around the kitchen because he doesn't like to watch himself, listening from afar. Jennifer sat on the couch and got so nervous she started braiding Lori's hair. Every now and then Lori would hear her quietly say, "Oh my god, he never told me that."
For decades she had heard Joe's parents talk about how he'd had to fight through coaches in high school and college. Sitting there watching the film, she realized they hadn't been exaggerating. It shocked the kids, too. They see him as such a conquering hero, preordained, even, that the obstacles placed in his way surprised them. Joe's youngest son started making mental notes about questions he needed to ask about college and his experience with Walsh.
"I never knew how s----y he got treated at Notre Dame," Nick Montana says. "I never knew how s----y he got treated at the Niners. My first question was: Why do you still like Bill? He talks about him like he's a god. How are you still cool with that guy?"
Peter, a tough former Berkeley water polo player, looked visibly shaken at the physical punishment Joe absorbed. There's Joe in the back of an ambulance and Joe crawling around on the ground like a war movie casualty and Joe loaded onto stretchers and carts.
The violent league he dominated no longer exists. He got knocked out of three different playoff games with hits that would now be illegal. Jim Burt hit him in 1987, and the camera settles on Montana seeming to mumble. He was knocked cold and taken away in the back of an ambulance. In the fourth quarter of the 1990 NFC Championship Game, he rolled out, dodged Lawrence Taylor and looked downfield. Leonard Marshall hit him from behind, helmet to helmet, driving Montana's head down into the turf. The hit broke his hand, cracked his ribs, bruised his sternum and stomach and gave him a concussion. Steve Young sprinted onto the field in concern and got to Joe first.
"Are you all right, Joe?" he yelled.
"I'll be all right," Joe whispered.
The team doctors asked where he hurt.
"Everywhere," he told them.
Montana, who looked like a golden boy with his hair and his Ferrari, knew the secret to winning football better than anyone. It wasn't athleticism or mental acuity or even accuracy.
"Suffering," Ronnie Lott says.
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**LOTT LEANS IN** across a table in a Silicon Valley hotel lobby, missing finger and all. His eyes dance with aggression and wonder and his voice sometimes drops to a menacing whisper. His friend Joe, back when they were young, loved the suffering, he remembers, because in it lay redemption and victory. Catholicism and football are so alike, it's no wonder so many great quarterbacks rose from industrial immigrant towns perched above rich coal deposits deep in the Pennsylvania ground. But the geographical trope often overshadows how *personal* a quest must be to survive a climb to the mountaintop.
"It was his commitment to going to the edge," Lott says, "and part of that going to the edge is: Are you willing to go there because you feel like you can go beyond that? The reason I think Joe has taken that position in his life is that his dad took that position. He taught his son, "Hey, look, you have to be willing to go die for it.'"
Lott knew Joe's parents and is Nick Montana's godfather, a role he takes as seriously as you might expect from a warrior monk. He knows Joe inherited his values and impulses from his dad but any deeper understanding remains out of reach. Montana is as much a messy tangle of pride, longing and striving as you or me or Ronnie Lott. That's part of Montana's inheritance, too. His teammates looked at him and through the glass darkly saw the best version of themselves. That's a quarterback.
Lott's voice cracks.
"I'm always amazed at some of the things that we don't know about his love, his perfection, about his will," he says. "If I knew I was going to die, I'd probably want to sit there and just stare at him. Because he's going to instill something in me that's going to say, 'You've still got another one. You've still got another one. You've still got another one.'"
Ronnie wants to tell me a story that might show what he's struggling to say. Once in the locker room Bill Walsh singled out and berated Bubba Paris for being fat. Then the coach wheeled around to the locker room for a final bit of theatrical punctuation.
"Anyone got anything to say?" Walsh barked.
The whole team stayed quiet. Ronnie. Jerry. Roger. Everyone.
Joe stepped forward. Nobody messed with his team.
"I'm taking care of his fines."
The room fell silent.
"If anybody's got anything to say about it ... " he continued, and nobody said a word -- not even Walsh.
Ronnie is telling this story because something like it happened daily. The often opaque Montana's native tongue is example. He almost got hypothermia during a college game once but still returned to win the game. His body temperature was 96 degrees. Sitting in the Notre Dame locker room, he calmly drank chicken noodle soup until it rose enough for the doctors to let him back in the game. "How many weeks did I see him on Wednesday and say there's no way," Young says. "There are tons of times in games when I thought there was no physical way he could play, and he would play and play well."
In the 1993 AFC title game, Bruce Smith and two teammates drove Montana's head into the ground. Smith heard the quarterback moaning and got concerned. He asked Montana if he was OK but Joe couldn't understand the words.
"The one in Buffalo was a felony," close friend and former teammate Steve Bono says.
The hit ended the Chiefs' playoff run and hurried the end of Montana's career.
"He was pretty sure after that Buffalo concussion," Jennifer said.
She told him to take his time and to be sure of his decision.
"Do you want me to play?" he asked.
"What I don't want you to do is say, 'I retired' and then take it back," she told him.
He played one more season.
He hurts a lot at night now. Sometimes he gets out of bed and sleeps on the floor. After one back surgery his doctors made him sleep in a brace. He hated it. Jennifer would wake up and catch Joe trying to quietly undo the Velcro one microfiber at a time. She knows how to stretch his legs to bring relief and can tell his pain level just by looking at him from across a room.
Montana accepts that pain is the price football extracts. It's easy to imagine why the success of Tom Brady, who got out without any scars, would seem like a violation of the most basic codes of the game. Growing up, Montana idolized Johnny Unitas, who made the plays *and* took the shots. Joe wore No. 19 as a kid. A photo exists of him as a rookie wearing a Niners No. 19, but when camp broke, the equipment managers assigned him No. 16 instead. The next time Montana chose a number again, with the Kansas City Chiefs, he picked No. 19. Years later Joe and John played golf together in North Carolina. On the first tee, Montana confessed that he'd just purchased a Baltimore Colts No. 19 jersey, the only piece of sports memorabilia he'd ever bought.
"You should have called me," Unitas told him. "I'd have given you one."
Football had destroyed Unitas' body and he needed to Velcro his golf club to his hand in order to swing. "Johnny was so bitter against the NFL," Montana remembers, but he also remembers it as a great day, because bitterness and pain seemed like a price both men agreed to pay when they first stepped under center and asked for the ball.
Since his last game Montana has endured more than two dozen surgeries. Maybe the worst was a neck fusion. He stayed in the hospital for about a week, and as he checked out, Jennifer called Lori and Peter and asked them to come meet them at the house. Joe wanted to play dominos. (Joe and Lori play an ongoing game against Jennifer and Peter.) Lori walked in and turned away. Joe looked terrible, thin, wearing a neck brace. He ate a little salad and faded in and out. Lori walked outside and cried. It's like she realized for the first time that even Joe Montana was going to age and die. She turned around to see that Jennifer had followed her. They two women hugged and then Jennifer gestured upstairs.
"If you asked him right now if he would do it again," she said, "he would answer in one second. Absolutely yes."
---
**STEVE YOUNG IS** sitting in his Palo Alto office and thinking about why Montana would do it all over again, and why he would, too. There's football memorabilia everywhere on the walls and shelves. The market closes in less than five minutes. As financial news scrolls across a huge screen, he searches for the right way to describe how he feels now about Joe Montana.
"I don't want it to be a weird word," he says.
He's got an idea in mind but is nervous.
"Tenderness," he says finally.
Time has revealed so much to Young, who is probably the most thoughtful member of the Hall of Fame. Namely, that time itself is both the quarterback's greatest enemy and most precious resource. The shiny monument and the inevitable swallowing sand. That knowledge rearranges the past. All those years ago he just wanted snaps with the first team, to be QB1 and take his place atop the food chain. Now he understands. He wasn't trying to take Joe Montana's job. He was trying to kill him, to take away the air in his lungs and the ground beneath his feet, to burn down his home and bury the ashes. He took years away and left blank pages where more Montana legend might have been inscribed. Fans and pundits measure a career in terms of titles and yards and touchdowns. Players get seduced by those, too. But in the end those metrics are merely byproducts of a complicated and deeply personal calculus, each man driven by different inheritances and towards different birthrights. There isn't a number that feels like enough. The goal is always more.
"Every player in history wants to write more in the book," Young says. "I think about that all the time."
His voice gets softer.
"No matter how much you write," he says, "you want to write more."
Young goes quiet.
Then says, "I've talked to you more about this than he and I would ever consider talking about it."
Bill Walsh traded for Young in 1987 because he worried Montana's back injury might end his career. Joe actually thought about retiring then but the competition with Young filled him with determination. When Steve stepped onto the field for his first practice, Montana looked him up and down and said, "Nice shoes." They had No. 16 written on them. The San Francisco trainers had put a pair of Joe's cleats in Steve's locker. The fight was on. Montana held off the younger, more athletic Young until his injury in 1991. If you read Young's autobiography, it's actually a book about Joe Montana.
"I guess in some ways I admire him in a way that no one else can," Young says.
He says he gets it. Montana retired at 38. Brady won three Super Bowls after turning 38. The violence that drove both Steve and Joe into retirement was erased from the quarterback position Tom dominated for 23 seasons.
Montana can only sit and watch.
"I think he thought what he wrote in the book was plenty," Young says, "and I think he's a little surprised it didn't turn out that way. That's why it probably bugs him. If he could ... he wouldn't allow it. With our age, we're stuck. We're in the same boat. I definitely have spent time wanting to write more in the book."
I say something about Brady calling Montana a killer.
"A predator has no feeling," Young says, suddenly defensive of his former rival. "Joe was a good dude. Assassin doesn't work. He's more emotionally athletic than that. An assassin is not emotionally athletic. A predator is not emotionally athletic. You'd be doing him a disservice. You don't get there without being a spiritual, emotional and physical athlete. But that dynamic doesn't rule the day. It's not like that's all you are."
To Young former quarterbacks are virtuoso violinists who have their instrument stripped away just as they master it. He wants another stage. Unitas did, too, and Montana, and Elway, and Marino. One day, so will Brady.
"Everything would be informed by that desire," Young says. "Please give me the violin back. Please ... "
He smiles. Thinks.
"The day you retire you fall of a cliff," he says. "You land in a big pile of nothing. It's a wreck. But it's more of a wreck for people who have the biggest book."
His wife has been texting but he got lost in his memories about Joe. Young asks me to tell Montana hello for him and then packs up his stuff to go on the afternoon school run. I turn and look around his office. A framed No. 16 jersey hangs on his conference room wall.
---
![](https://a4.espncdn.com/combiner/i?img=%2Fphoto%2F2023%2F0202%2Fr1125711_1007x807cc.jpg&w=225&h=180&scale=crop&location=origin)
**JENNIFER MONTANA MEETS** me in a little breakfast place she likes by the water. She comes into the room with pink Gucci slippers and a wide, friendly smile. It's early in the morning. Her art studio is around the corner, and she does a lot of sculpture and painting. Yesterday she and Joe drove around the city with the windows down. They got to a stoplight and the person a lane over hurriedly rolled his window down, too. He had a few seconds' audience with Joe Montana.
"Thank you for the great childhood," the man said.
We find a corner to talk.
"I think he really fought in the 15 years after retirement," she says.
They met on the set of a razor commercial. He'd been divorced twice. She was the actress tasked with admiring the matinee idol quarterback's close shave. He wanted to ask her out and fumbled hard on the approach, which she found endearing. They've been married nearly 40 years now and are very different. She is lit from the inside with the beatific now. He still has the aspirational immigrant struggle between discovering and remembering imprinted on every cell.
"I think the talks that we've had is ... everything is right here," she says. "*You have the world at your feet* and you have to remind him of that on occasion, because the thing that motivates him is not having the world at his feet."
He became a good pilot. For a few years he competed in serious cutting horse events. Neither of those made him feel valuable again. A business he owned with Ronnie Lott and fellow teammate Harris Barton failed. He'd been retired for 20 years, a long gap between successes, before he got into the venture capital world and rediscovered any kind of a familiar rush. That's a lot of wandering. "You've got a family that loves you," she says. "You've got four healthy, beautiful children. We're in love. You've got money in the bank. What could you really want for? But it didn't solve the problem of looking for the next thing."
They experience time differently. She urges him to look at the rising sun and be happy. He loves that view but remains tethered to his own suspicion of happiness, his own belief in the value of suffering. Bridging that tension has been their shared task.
He loved being a dad after football -- although other parents in Napa Valley gossiped about how the intense rust belt sports dad didn't vibe with wine country chill -- and worried a lot about everything he'd missed while winning four Super Bowls. Like a lot of children from his neck of the woods, raised on the dueling icons of the crucifix and the smokestack, he's a complex mix of work ethic and guilt. He wants a big family. He also wants to work hard, to achieve as only an individual can. These days if he's in an honest mood, he'll describe the deep regret he feels about how much football took him away from his kids. Never mind that Jennifer says his guilt is mostly internal and not rooted in the reality of their lives. He *was* there, she insists. Sometimes he got *too* involved when the season ended, stepping back into her world and messing with the system. "To this day it makes him melancholy to think of how much he missed," she says. "And I go, 'Joe, you really didn't.'"
The four Montana children have a complex relationship with their father's fame. His daughters heard all the mean comments kids made, supercharged by jealousy. They were embarrassed at all the attention. About the only two boys in America who didn't want to wear Montana on their backs were Nate and Nick, whose jerseys had their mother's maiden name on them during youth football, trying to find even a sliver of daylight between their father's accomplishments and their own. In hindsight they've come to believe he intentionally dulled his own legend for their benefit. "I think something that over time I appreciate more and more is how much effort he put into family," Nick Montana says. "There's obviously a lot of things he could have done post-career to garner more fame, more wealth, but the most important thing to him was being present for us."
That sentiment makes Jennifer smile. She knows it's true and went against her husband's natural wiring to compete and win. This winter we meet up again at a trendy breakfast spot down in Cow Hollow. She drives the few blocks from their house on her white Vespa. We talk a lot about how he is happy but still has work to do on himself.
"I want him to be content," she says.
Most of the time, he is. Most of the time. Every now and then he'll experience what can best be described as a biological response. He built himself to respond to challenges both real and imagined. Jennifer will be sitting next to him in a car and he'll start gunning the engine, moving in out of traffic, and she'll have to remind him that some other driver isn't trying to race, or to cut him off, or to start some competition on the freeway.
In those moments, she says, "He still hasn't figured it out."
Sometimes Jennifer worries he feels the best part of his life is over and her main role now is to counter that with reminders and activities. His flaws -- the guilt, the pettiness, the occasional dark cloud of blame and paranoia -- are part of why she loves him. He will always be a guy who sees the glass as half-empty. That's what allowed him to become and to be *Joe Montana*. Sometimes she gets tired having to throw boundless positive energy at one of his black moods. But in the end, the complications *are* the man, not some wilderness to hack through while looking for him. The untamed part of him is why she's still here all these years later. "I think we're each other's best friend," she says, "and it's not always pretty, but it's pretty darn good."
---
**FIVE YEARS AGO** his father died. They'd been so close. Joe Sr. used to show up at Notre Dame unannounced in the middle of the night, after a six-hour drive, just to take his son and his roommates out to a diner. In 1986, Joe's parents moved full time to California. His mom died in 2004. The family buried Joe Sr. in the rich wine country dirt. Next to Joe's mom. The San Francisco Bay was the home this family had been searching for since Guiseppi Montani set sail in 1887. Four people gave Joe's dad eulogies: his four grandkids. Allie started to break down and Nate moved to the front of the church and stood by her side.
They'd entered the stage of life where people started to fall away. A year after his father died, his best friend, Dwight Clark, died, too, after a battle with ALS. They met as rookies, bonding over beers and burgers at the Canyon Inn by their practice facility. They became legends together, navigating a bitter falling out and ultimate reunion. In the end they kept faith with one another, knowing or maybe learning over the years that what they accomplished meant less to them than the fact that they'd done it together. As Clark slipped away, Montana sat by his bedside. The old Niners worked out a schedule to be sure Dwight was never alone.
When he got the news Joe fell apart. Jennifer called Lori and asked if she could talk Joe down. Sometimes she can get through to him when nobody else can. "I talked to him on the phone for 45 minutes," Lori said, "and he was sobbing so hard he couldn't breathe."
Before he died Dwight had asked Joe to deliver a eulogy. His first draft skimmed along the surface -- there was a limit, he felt, to how deep he could go without just dissolving in public -- but Jennifer told him he needed to rip it up and start again. This wasn't a sports speech. Joe's second draft hit the mark. He was poignant and funny. He said Dwight loved to remind him that, you know, nobody called it "The Throw." Everyone laughed. His voice cracked. Jennifer sat in the audience next to their old friend Huey Lewis. Back in the day, Joe, Dwight and Ronnie sang backing vocals for Lewis' hit song "Hip To Be Square"; that's them crooning, "Here, there, everywhere."
Huey leaned over and told Jennifer he felt sorry that Joe was always the guy who got asked to speak at funerals. After all these years he remains their QB1. Just a few months later, as part of the new stadium in the southern suburbs, the Niners dedicated a new statue to "The Catch." There's Montana with his arms raised in the air. Twenty-three yards away Dwight Clark is frozen in the air with his fingers on the ball. The team asked Joe to speak on behalf of himself and Clark.
"I miss him," Joe said.
Montana spoke with humility -- calling out Eric Wright, whose tackle *after* "The Catch" actually won the game -- and talked about how time and age were ravaging their once strong team. Opponents once lost sleep thinking about the San Francisco 49ers coming into their city and now they were old enough to be dying. They were in that strange transition from people to memories.
"It's truly an honor ... " he said.
Montana looked at the statues of himself and his best friend.
"... to be remembered forever."
His friends felt he was more emotional that day than at the funeral. It was a little chilly with clear skies. Joe looked down to his left and saw Dwight's children. "He was looking in the eyes of mortality," Lori says.
---
![](https://a2.espncdn.com/combiner/i?img=%2Fphoto%2F2023%2F0202%2Fr1125714_2379x1634cc.jpg&w=262&h=180&scale=crop&location=origin)
**THE PANDEMIC BROUGHT** everyone home.
For the first time since Allie went to Notre Dame in 2004, minus a couple of summers, all six Montanas were together all the time. What a gift! Empty nesters never get their birds back. And there weren't just six of them anymore. The first grandbaby had been born and another was soon to follow. Everyone worked from home, and three or four nights a week gathered around a big, loud table at Joe and Jennifer's place. Nate usually handled the music unless they watched a game or movie. Joe and Jennifer loved it. They laughed and ate and danced and gave thanks for their growing family. They hung out in the backyard. Joe has every grill imaginable out there, with Jennifer always finding bigger and better ones to work into the mix, so they watched him cook and made cocktails.
Joe asked me once if I knew the quiet sound of a gondola cutting like a blade through the shadow-thrown canals at night. He loves a moment, whether it's cataloging the way ice hits a glass in a Basque beach town or looking over at the sideline and noticing John Candy watching the game. Because he trusts and loves Jennifer, he's trying to learn to better manage the blank spaces between moments, but he does have his own version of contentment. He's a romantic at heart, equally at home in dive bars and triple-deck yachts. They've traveled constantly, with their family, and with friends. Boat trips to the south of France and rain forests in Costa Rica, again and again, and long winding journeys up and down Italy. The whole family met up this last summer in Istanbul where a fan stopped him for a picture in the streets. He shopped in the ancient stalls in the old town souk. They sat at a café where boats nosed up right to the dock. His travel tips for the beaches of Europe belong in a book. They've bungee jumped in New Zealand and ran with Bill Murray at Pebble Beach. Five years ago he did the full five-day climb up Machu Picchu with Jennifer and the kids. Everyone was worried about him, but he tapped into something inside and endured the pain. One foot in front of the other. For a bit the boys had to carry their backpacks, but mostly Jennifer just kept barking at anyone slowing down and Joe marched in determined silence. They made it up and he looked out through the beams of light. He'd earned this moment. At his feet the emerald green grass grew through the stone ruins and around him dark peaks rose in the air like cathedrals.
Once the pandemic travel restrictions loosened the whole family went to the North Shore of Oahu. It's a surfing paradise. They'd booked two weeks. Two weeks turned into a month. They kept traveling together, chasing sunlight and water, Costa Rica, back to Hawaii, down to the islands, then to their little weekend place in Malibu. They surfed, they fished, they played dominos, they ate fresh seafood as the sun sank into the water.
They moved as a pack and that's how I found them when I arrived in San Francisco last summer to meet Montana for the first time. He seemed like a case study in a psychology journal: forced to leave a job he did better than anyone who'd ever come before, forced to try to find a replacement for the time and passion that job required, forced to undertake that search while a kid who grew up idolizing him tore down his record and took his crown. If you wanted to understand the fragility of glory and legacy, Joe Montana isn't *a* person you should talk to about it. He is *the* person.
"Look at Otto Graham or Sammy Baugh," Joe says as we sit in his office during our first meeting, seeing his place in a continuum that existed before he entered it and will exist once he's gone. He knows intellectually that comparison is a foolish talk radio game and yet. A bit later, unbidden, he says he wishes every living human could have the experience of standing on an NFL football field on a Sunday afternoon. Just to experience the way crowd noise can be felt in your body, the sound itself a physical thing, waves and vibrations rolling down the bleachers -- 80,000 voices united coursing right through you. Mickey Mantle sat in the rain in his car looking for that noise. Joe DiMaggio stared out at the San Francisco Bay hoping to hear it come through the fog. Even talking about it gives Montana chills. If the number of titles separates the men on the quarterbacking pyramid, then the memory of the game, the feel of it, connects them. That's Joe's point about Otto and Sammy. "Those guys were so far ahead of the game," he says. "I don't know how you compare them to today's game or even when we played."
It's the moment that matters. Not records. He was fine to let his trophies burn. He misses the moments. The moments are what he thinks about when he sits at home and watches Brady play in a Super Bowl. He's not jealous of the result or even the ring. He's jealous of the experience.
"To sit in rare air ..." Ronnie Lott says, searching for the words.
"... is like being on a spaceship."
Breathing rare air changes you. Every child who's sucked helium from a birthday balloon knows this and so does Joe Montana and everyone who ever played with him. It's the feeling so many kids hoped to feel when they slipped on the No. 16 jersey and let the mesh drape over their arms.
"He breathed rare air with me," Lott says, and the way he talks about air sure sounds like he's talking about love.
---
**TOM BRADY RECORDED** a video alone on a beach and again told the world that he was done with football. *For good this time*, he said with a tired smile. His voice cracked and he seemed spent. He's a 45-year-old middle-aged man who shares custody of three children with two ex-partners. Next year he'll be the lead color commentator for Fox Sports. This past year he'd just as soon forget. He retired for 40 days, then unretired and went back to his team, looking a step slow for the first time in his career, and finally retired again. Those decisions set off a series of events that cost him the very kind of family, the very wellspring of moments, that have brought Joe Montana such joy. Brady has fallen off the cliff that Steve Young described and faces the approaching 15 years that Jennifer Montana remembered as so hard. Tom's book is now written. He will leave, as Montana did before him, the unquestioned greatest of all time.
"You cannot spend the rest of your life trying to find it again," Young says.
Stretched out before Brady is his road to contentment. The man in the video has a long way to go. Montana knows about that journey. He understands things about Brady's future that Tom cannot possibly yet know. On the day Brady quit, Montana's calendar was stacked with investor meetings for the two new funds he's raising. When he heard the news, he wondered to himself if this announcement was for real. Brady had traded so much for just one more try. On the field he struggled to find his old magic. His cheeks looked sunken. His pliability and the league's protection of the quarterback had added a decade to his career. But along the way they also let his imagination run unchecked. Brady's body didn't push him to the sidelines. He had to decide for himself at great personal cost. Montana was never forced to make that choice. He had to reckon with the maddening edges of his physical limits but was protected from his own need to compete and from the damage that impulse might do. For all his injuries took from him, they gave him something, too.
---
![](https://a3.espncdn.com/combiner/i?img=%2Fphoto%2F2023%2F0202%2Fr1125706_2428x3600cc.jpg&w=122&h=180&scale=crop&location=origin)
**THEY'VE GOT TWO** grandchildren now, Lil Boo and Bella Boo, and a third on the way.
"A boy," Lori says with a grin.
The momentum of the pandemic hasn't stopped. Jennifer has planned a monthlong trip to the coast where Spain and France meet. Everyone is coming. All four kids and the grandbabies. Joe and Jennifer are flying to Paris three days early. Just the two of them, so they can walk alone through the Tuileries Garden, holding hands in the last warm kiss of fall. She's checked the rotating exhibits at the Modern but there's nothing that she's dying to see, so mostly they'll just sleep and walk the city and spend meals talking about what they'll eat next.
"Baguettes in the morning," she says. "Coffee to lunch to dinner."
When Joe and Jennifer take stock, they're pleased. Sure the boys' college football careers didn't end how they wanted, and Joe is still upset the Niners wouldn't sign Nate and give him a chance in the pros, but all four kids have graduated from college. Both girls went to Notre Dame like their dad. Both boys work in venture capital and each has created success on their own. Joe didn't hire Nate until he went out and experienced the startup world himself. They have good manners. The boys -- men -- stand up and shake hands when a stranger comes to their table. Nick, the youngest, just turned 30. When I visited, all four kids were living in the city. Jennifer, who does not pull punches when talking about her complex man, says Joe is happier than he's ever been.
One Sunday when I was in town they had a big family barbecue. The FAM2 text chain came alive with plans and details and instructions. (FAM1 was retired because Nate's girlfriend got added, which required a new group.) They gathered on their big rooftop terrace with views of both bridges. Joe made ribs. Everybody hung out for hours. None of the kids were in a hurry to leave. The two little girls ran around shot from a cannon, demanding attention. His grandchildren are the path to the ultimate contentment Jennifer wants for him. Everyone who knows him says so.
Allie went into labor late at night and she remembers the first time she saw her dad hold the little baby -- "love, wonder, excitement -- literally like a kid who just got the baseball card they had been buying all that gum for ..." -- but also what she described as "profound sadness and longing." Even as he held his family's future in his arms he thought of his mom and dad not getting to meet this baby and, Allie thinks, not getting to see their son be a grandfather.
The grandkids call him Yogi. Jennifer is Boo Boo. He loves it when they teeter down the hall and crawl into bed between them. A few days ago Lil Boo spent four straight nights with them. She is taking swim lessons at a club in their neighborhood. Joe gets her dressed in a cute pink bathing suit and takes her down to the pool. All the other kids have their moms, so that's the scene. A bunch of screaming kids, with their San Francisco mothers in the pool -- plus one former quarterback splashing and smiling.
"It's so interesting to see him with these grandbabies now," Lori says. "He missed all that when his kids were young. He's like a little kid himself. After all the ups and downs, all the surgeries, all the moves, the kids -- you're only as happy as your most miserable child -- right now to me it feels like all the kids are settled, they're all kicking ass. But the biggest change in our 30 years of friendship is them being grandparents -- there's even a new connection between them. When Lil Boo does something hysterical, they'll look at each other with this ... this is the result of us."
On a recent trip to Costa Rica, Joe and Jennifer took Boo out into the surf and gently and carefully got her on a board. Jennifer rode with her while Joe stood behind them, holding tight to the cord, watching with pride. Not long ago Lil Boo announced she wanted to ride on a cable car. This would be Joe's second time on one of them (his first was filming a United Way commercial years ago while Tony Bennett stood next to him and crooned, "I left my heart ... ")
Joe and Jennifer led the little girl outside and toward the closest trolley. The conductor was rushing past them, certainly not going to stop, until he saw *who* was standing there trying to flag him down. He hit the brakes. These are the great joys of being Joe Montana now.
He can make a cable car stop for Lil Boo.
---
**NOT VERY LONG** ago Joe wakes up early before work and in the particular quiet of a morning house, he mixes the water and the flour and gets pizza dough made and resting before he heads into the office. Nate and Matt are waiting on him downtown, between the Transamerica building and the trattorias and pool halls of Joe DiMaggio's youth. They have a busy day listening to pitches from founders ahead. It's warm in San Francisco, high 60s and rising, with no marine layer tucking the city into a pocket of grayed white.
They're launching a new fund, designed to push more capital to companies they've already decided to support. Joe is raising the money and he says when that's done he might finally step back from the daily grind. Jennifer doesn't believe that for a moment. A big Post-it note in his office lists the ways in which they're planning to grow, to make the business larger and more complex. That's why Matt is here, to help with the investments but also with the structures and processes of a larger firm.
"We're always going to be innovating," he says.
We're sitting around a conference table. Someone's left two Tootsie Rolls on a Buddhist shrine as a kind of offering. Nate is eating noodles. Joe is talking about how football kept him from studying architecture and design at Notre Dame because those classes met on fall afternoons. He scratches his ear and hunches over the screen. Jennifer told me to correct him when he used bad posture which I obviously do not do.
When the presentations end for the day Joe heads home. FAM2 is a flurry of activity. Tonight is pizza night for the Montana family of San Francisco, California, and it's hard not to think about Guiseppi Montani and whatever his wildest dreams for his descendants might have been when his ship pulled out of the harbor. Later that evening an email arrives on my phone with six pictures attached. I open them. Joe Montana has sent over photographs of his pizzas. There's good mozzarella and fresh basil on one. Thick wedges of pepperoni and mushrooms on another. The crusts look charred and chewy. The next morning he grins and says they turned out pretty well but he still has room to improve.
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Date: 2023-08-10
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# A Climate Warning from the Cradle of Civilization
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![](https://static01.nyt.com/images/2023/07/25/world/00iraq-water-babylon-drawing/00iraq-water-babylon-drawing-articleLarge.jpg?quality=90&auto=webp)
Every schoolchild learns the name: Mesopotamia the Fertile Crescent, the cradle of civilization.
Today, much of that land is turning to dust.
[Alissa J. Rubin](https://www.nytimes.com/by/alissa-j-rubin)
Photographs and Video by [Bryan Denton](https://www.nytimes.com/by/bryan-denton)
Alissa J. Rubin and Bryan Denton spent months reporting from nearly two dozen cities, towns and villages across Iraq.
July 29, 2023
The word itself, Mesopotamia, means the land between rivers. It is where the wheel was invented, irrigation flourished and the earliest known system of writing emerged. The rivers here, some scholars say, fed the fabled Hanging Gardens of Babylon and converged at the place described in the Bible as the Garden of Eden.
### Listen to This Article
Now, so little water remains in some villages near the Euphrates River that families are dismantling their homes, brick by brick, piling them into pickup trucks — window frames, doors and all — and driving away.
“You would not believe it if I say it now, but this was a watery place,” said Sheikh Adnan al Sahlani, a science teacher here in southern Iraq near Naseriyah, a few miles from the Old Testament city of Ur, which the Bible describes as the hometown of the Prophet Abraham.
These days, “nowhere has water,” he said. Everyone who is left is “suffering a slow death.”
Image
![Children in a small body of water a few inches deep.](https://static01.nyt.com/images/2023/07/12/multimedia/xxiraq-water-01-hvkg/xxiraq-water-01-hvkg-articleLarge.jpg?quality=75&auto=webp&disable=upscale)
Boys searching for fish in the stagnant, shallow waters of a shrinking irrigation canal in a village on the outskirts of Najaf, Iraq.
Image
Desiccated agricultural fields are now a common sight in once-verdant areas of Iraq. In many places, the groundwater has become too salty to drink.
Image
A dead water buffalo in a familys corral near Basra, Iraq. As water has become scarce, farmers have struggled to keep their herds alive.
You dont have to go back to biblical times to find a more verdant Iraq. Well into the 20th century, the southern city of Basra was known as the “Venice of the East” for its canals, plied by gondola-like boats that threaded through residential neighborhoods.
Indeed, for much of its history, the Fertile Crescent — often defined as including areas of modern-day Iraq, Israel, Lebanon, Syria, Turkey, Iran, the West Bank and Gaza — did not lack for water, inspiring centuries of artists and writers who depicted the region as a lush ancient land. Spring floods were common, and rice, one of the most water-intensive crops in the world, was grown for more than 2,000 years.
But now [nearly 40 percent](https://www.planetarysecurityinitiative.org/news/iraqs-growing-desertification-problem) of Iraq, an area roughly the size of Florida, has been overtaken by blowing desert sands that [claim tens of thousands of acres](https://www.unep.org/resources/report/geo-6-global-environment-outlook-regional-assessment-west-asia) of arable land every year.
Climate change and desertification are to blame, scientists say. So are weak governance and the continued reliance on wasteful irrigation techniques that date back millenniums to Sumerian times.
A tug of war over water — similar to the struggles over [the Colorado River in the United States](https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2023/05/22/climate/colorado-river-water.html), the [Mekong in Southeast Asia](https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/13/world/asia/china-mekong-drought.html) and the [Nile in northern Africa](https://www.nytimes.com/2020/07/18/world/middleeast/nile-dam-egypt-ethiopia.html) — has also intensified water shortages for tens of millions of people across the region.
Another culprit is common to large regions of the world: a growing population whose water demands continue to rise, both because of sheer numbers and, in many places, higher living standards, increasing individual consumption.
Here in Iraq, the fallout is everywhere, fraying society, spurring deadly clashes between villages, displacing thousands of people every year, emboldening extremists and leaving ever more land looking like a barren moonscape.
In many areas, water pumped from below the surface is too salty to drink, the result of dwindling water, agricultural runoff and untreated waste. “Even my cows wont drink it,” one farmer said.
Even in the north, where fresh water has historically been available, well diggers in Erbil, the capital of Iraqi Kurdistan, bore down 580 feet last summer — and still found only salty water.
Iraq is now the fifth most vulnerable country to extreme temperatures, water scarcity and food shortages, [the United Nations says](https://iraq.un.org/en/202663-factsheet-impact-climate-change-environment-idp-and-returnee-locations-integrated-location). Next door in Iran, a province of two million people [could run out of water](https://www.nytimes.com/2023/06/21/world/middleeast/iran-drought-water-climate.html?searchResultPosition=1) by mid-September, Iranian lawmakers said, leaving few options beyond mass exodus.
And for the rest of the Middle East and some other areas of the world — including parts of Mexico, Pakistan, India and the Mediterranean — Iraq and its neighbors offer an unmistakable warning.
“Because of this regions vulnerabilities, one of the most vulnerable on the planet, it is one of the first places that is going to show some kind of extreme succumbing, literally, to climate change,” said Charles Iceland, the director of water security for the World Resources Institute, a research organization.
But, he added, “no countries, even the rich countries, are adapting to climate change to the degree they need to.”
### PART 2
## Hotter, Drier, Faster
Video
![](https://static01.nyt.com/images/2023/12/07/iraw-water-canal-image/iraw-water-canal-image-videoSixteenByNine1050.jpg)
An almost empty irrigation canal in Dhi Qar Province.CreditCredit...
Many people in the villages near the Euphrates River remember how, 20 years ago, the date palm trees grew so thick and close together that their leaves blocked the sunlight. The splashing of children in the irrigation canals and the sloshing of water jugs being carted home provided the backbeat of summer life.
Now, the irrigation canals are so dry in summer that the small bridges spanning them are barely necessary and the sounds of daily life signal waters scarcity: the crackle of brown grasses and the rustle of dried out palm leaves. Some palms have no leaves at all, their bare trunks standing like the columns of ancient ruins.
Water comes from the government in red plastic barrels, in rations of about 160 gallons a month per family. Even when used sparingly, it barely lasts a week in the heat, said Mr. Sahlani, the sheikh and science teacher, who lives in the village of Albu Jumaa. Graffiti scrawled in Arabic on a half-destroyed concrete wall expressed the frustration: “Where is the state?” it read.
As recently as the 1970s and 1980s, Iraqs water ministry built artificial lakes and dams to hold the immense annual overflow from winter rains and gushing snow melt from the Taurus Mountains, the headwaters of the Tigris and Euphrates.
Even today, traces of Iraqs greener past can be seen every spring. In the Anbar desert, a brief winter rain can turn the shallow valleys green and speckle them with flowers. Along the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers, the water still nourishes trees beside the narrow banks, with bands of green fields on either side.
But even those bands have shrunk in recent decades.
The region is [getting hotter — faster](https://agupubs.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1029/2021RG000762) — than many parts of the world. By some estimates, the Middle East and eastern Mediterranean could warm by 5 degrees Celsius (9 degrees Fahrenheit) or even more during this century. In the worst months of summer, some places are already [nearly unlivable](https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2022/11/18/world/middleeast/extreme-heat.html).
Precipitation, already low, is expected to wane across the Middle East. The drought gripping Iraq is now in its fourth year, and the country is particularly vulnerable because most of its water comes from rivers that originate outside the country, holding it hostage to the decisions of its neighbors Turkey and Iran.
### PART 3
## Water Wars
Image
So much water has disappeared that many bridges have become unnecessary.
The chokehold on Iraqs rivers has been tightening for decades.
Since 1974, Turkey has built 22 dams, hydroelectric plants and irrigation projects on the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers, modeled in part on the Tennessee Valley Authority in the United States.
Then, in the early 2000s, Iran started building more than a dozen smaller dams and tunnels on tributaries to the Tigris, devastating Iraqi provinces like Diyala, which was known just 10 years ago for its peaches, apricots, oranges and dates. The tributaries from Iran are the only source of water in the province, other than the dwindling rainfall.
The impact has been drastic: The water flowing into Iraq has dropped almost 50 percent on the Euphrates and by about a third on the Tigris since major dam building began in the 1970s, according to statistics from Iraqs water ministry.
Hashem al-Kinani and his family have felt the changes firsthand. For generations, they farmed 20 acres east of Baghdad, on the Diyala border, facing one trial after another.
First, the American invasion and the ouster of Saddam Hussein bit into the states support of farmers. Then in 2006, Al Qaeda moved in and killed many local men, leaving their headless bodies in ditches. Hashem lost an uncle, and the family house was bombed by Al Qaeda. Making matters worse, rainfall has become more erratic and gradually diminished. As the Iranian dams came on line, river water became too scarce to grow fruit.
The fig and pomegranate trees have died. His family sold off their 1,500 head of cattle and their sheep, because it was impossible to feed them. Hes not sure how much longer he can hang on.
“Farming is over here,” he said. “I cannot stay, but what can I do?”
Image
The family of Hashem al Kinani has farmed 20 acres east of Baghdad for generations, but over the last two decades water has become too scarce for fruit growing.
Image
An abandoned home in a farming village.
Image
Most of Iraqs drinking and irrigation water comes from rivers that originate outside the country, holding it hostage to the decisions of neighboring Turkey and Iran.
History is replete with water wars, and one of the earliest recorded conflicts took place here in the Fertile Crescent, where [scribes documented](https://www.worldwater.org/conflict/list/) a fight over water between Sumerian city states more than 4,000 years ago in what is now Iraq.
Many modern nations have gone on the offensive to ensure that their people have enough water. Ethiopia has spent years [building a colossal dam on the Nile](https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/02/09/world/africa/nile-river-dam.html), inciting fear and anger from Egypt downstream. China has done the same [with the Mekong](https://www.nytimes.com/2019/10/12/world/asia/mekong-river-dams-china.html). Central Asian nations have had a long-running feud over the Amu Darya and Syr Darya Rivers, which have been drained to such an extent that by the time they reach the inland Aral Sea, [there is little water left](https://earthobservatory.nasa.gov/world-of-change/AralSea).
Worldwide, countries share nearly [900 rivers, lakes and aquifers](https://www.unwater.org/water-facts/transboundary-waters), according to the United Nations, and though a [treaty](https://treaties.un.org/Pages/ViewDetails.aspx?src=TREATY&mtdsg_no=XXVII-5&chapter=27&clang=_en) exists to govern their use, fewer than half of all countries have ratified it. Notably absent from the list are upstream nations like Turkey, Iran and China.
In 2021, Iraqs water ministry threatened to drag Iran to the International Court of Justice for taking its water. But Iraqs Shiite-dominated government, which is close to Tehrans leaders, dropped the issue.
The Kinani family, whose farm withered as Iran built dams, still grows a little wheat, mostly for its own consumption. But the once-clear irrigation canal the farm uses now has nearly stagnant, viscous water with a brownish-green color and a nauseating smell.
“We are irrigating with sewage water,” Mr. Kinani said.
### PART 4
## ISIS RETURNS
Image
A lack of water has complicated security efforts and the continuing battle against a persistent Islamic State insurgency.
Drought brings other, less obvious dangers, too.
In parts of Iraq, rivers and irrigation canals once provided strategic barriers — their waters too wide, fast or deep for extremist fighters to traverse.
Today, if those waters are running at all, they are often low enough to walk across.
Militants who had been pushed back in recent years are taking advantage of the drying landscape to come back and attack with ease, according to Sheikh Muhammed Dhaifan, who has been fighting to keep his tribe northeast of Baghdad from leaving the 44 villages where they have worked the land for generations.
When Al Qaeda seized the tribes land in 2005, it used stones to block the irrigation canals fed by the Adaim River and forced many farmers to flee.
After Al Qaedas defeat, Sheikh Muhammed persuaded most of his clan to return. But then in 2012, as the Islamic State began to emerge, his tribe was forced to leave again.
Finally, after almost five years, ISIS was vanquished and the villagers began to come back.
Now the chief enemy is drought, stealing not just their livelihoods, but also their sense of safety. In some places, the water hardly covers the pebbles lining the riverbed. ISIS barely has to slow down to get across.
“We used to be protected by the river,” said Sheikh Muhammed. “Now, sometimes they walk, sometimes they drive their motorbikes, the water is so low.”
Last year, Islamic State fighters crossed on foot at night and killed 11 soldiers, many as they slept, at an Iraqi Army outpost on the rivers banks.
This year, the fighters have moved farther east, attacking villages on the Diyala River, which is also low because of drought and Irans dams. More than 50 civilians were killed in the province in the first five months of 2023, most by fighters aligned with ISIS.
In the past, the snowmelt and rains sometimes swelled the regions rivers, prompting Turkey and Iran to share more water with Iraq. But the future looks unlikely to offer much respite.
The current trend of a hotter, drier Iraq — and a hotter Middle East — is expected to last for decades, making the once-fertile crescent less and less livable.
Already, Iraq does not have enough water to meet its needs, [the World Bank says](https://www.worldbank.org/en/country/iraq/publication/iraq-country-climate-and-development-report). But by 2035 its water deficit could widen significantly, cutting into the countrys homegrown food supply and the economy as a whole.
Pleas to Turkey to share more water have largely gone unheeded.
In the summer of 2022, at the height of last years drought, Turkeys ambassador to Iraq responded to Iraqs requests for more water by complaining that Iraqis were “squandering” it, calling on the Iraqi government to enact “immediate measures to reduce the waste.” This year, when a similar request came, Turkey shared more water for a month before cutting back again.
Turkeys complaints about Iraq are not unfounded. Iraqs irrigation efforts lose large quantities to evaporation and runoff. Water soaks into earthen canals, leaks from rusted pipes and runs off after being used in flood irrigation — the 6,000-year-old method of saturating fields.
The fertilizer in the runoff makes the groundwater saltier. Studies in southern Iraq show large areas with salt levels so high that the water cannot be used for drinking, irrigation or even washing clothes.
Iraqs population makes the forecast even more dire: It is [one of the fastest-growing](https://data.worldbank.org/indicator/SP.POP.GROW?locations=ZQ) in the region.
Mr. Sahlani, the science teacher near Naseriyah, recalled how much of life in rural southern Iraq was lived on the water just 20 years ago. Locals started their days in small boats, pushing off at first light to fish before returning after sunrise to tend the fields. While some still do, the river fish are often too small, their flesh too inundated with pollutants, to make it worthwhile these days.
The changes are especially evident in [the vast marshes of southern Iraq](https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/12/travel/iraq-mesopotamian-marshes.html). Some 60 years ago, they were the largest wetlands in western Eurasia. People have lived there for thousands of years.
Saddam Hussein drained the marshes of about 90 percent of their water to deprive his enemies of a place to hide in their thick reeds and small islands. In doing so, he stifled “the lungs of Iraq,” said Azzam Alwash, the Iraqi-American engineer who helped re-flood the wetlands after the United States invasion.
Surprisingly quickly, marine life rebounded, migratory birds returned and so did the people who had left. Once again, the mashouf *—* the long, narrow boats used by the Sumerians — glided through the waterways. Herds of water buffalo flourished.
But years of drought, along with the chokehold on river water from Turkey and Iran, have devastated the marshes again.
“The marshes are drying,” Mohammed Raed, 19, said as he left them behind, walking his familys emaciated buffalo toward a neighboring province, where there was still the hope of feeding them.
Mr. Sahlani, the science teacher, said people now eyed their upstream neighbors with suspicion, accusing them of taking more water from the irrigation canals than theyre due and then shutting the sluice gates, leaving too little for residents downstream to grow crops.
Without realizing it, he was describing — on a much smaller scale — Iraqs standoff with Turkey and Iran, which control much of the Euphrates and the Tigris.
“I understand the problem,” said Ghazwan Abdul Amir, the Iraqi water ministrys director in Naseriyah, adding that the government was hoping to bring more water to residents in the area.
But water is scarce and money is tight, he said: “Maybe next year.”
Fixing Iraqs outdated farming techniques, which waste as much as 70 percent of the water used for irrigation, according to a study done for Iraqs water ministry, is paramount. But persuading farmers to change has been slow going. There were just 120 drip irrigation systems allotted to farmers in Mr. Sahlanis province last year to save water — and the farmers had to pay for them.
Past the urban sprawl of northern Naseriyah, with its small auto repair shops and vegetable stands, the land empties out. Storm clouds gather in the late afternoon but then disperse without shedding a drop. Tufts of grasses, yellow and brown by late June, offer signs that crops grew here not so long ago.
The wind starts early each morning, blowing ceaselessly until dusk. It strips the topsoil, drying the land until all that is left is an earthen dust that piles on the quickly mounting dunes.
A short drive off the highway, deeper into the desert, lies Al Najim, a village being blown off the map. Thirty years ago, it had 5,000 people. Today there are just 80 left. The temperature hovered at 122 degrees.
Qahatan Almihana, an agricultural engineer, pointed at the towns landmarks: buildings half-covered in sand, doors buried too deep to open. Sand piled halfway up the walls, poured in the windows and weighed down the roofs.
“That was the school,” he said. The teachers stopped coming in early 2022.
Sheikh Muhammad Ajil Falghus, the head of the Najim tribe, was born in the village. “The land was good, the soil was good,” he explained. Until the early 2000s, he said, “we grew wheat and barley, corn and clover.”
Now, all that grows are small groups of tamarisk trees planted as a bulwark against the sands.
“We are living now on the verge of life,” the sheikh said. “There is no agriculture, no planting possible anymore. This is the end of the line, the end of life. We wait for a solution from God, or from the good people.”
Image
The village of Najim is being blown off the map. Thirty years ago, it had 5,000 people. Today, there are just 80.
## A Climate Warning from the Cradle of Civilization
Jane Arraf contributed reporting from Chibayish, Iraq, Falih Hassan from Baghdad, and Kamil Kakol from Sulimaniyah.
Produced by Mona Boshnaq, Michael Beswetherick and Rumsey Taylor. Top illustration Chronicle, via Alamy
Audio produced by Parin Behrooz.
[Alissa J. Rubin](https://www.nytimes.com/by/alissa-j-rubin) covers climate change and conflict in the Middle East. She previously reported for more than a decade from Baghdad and Kabul, Afghanistan, and was the Paris bureau chief. [More about Alissa J. Rubin](https://www.nytimes.com/by/alissa-j-rubin)
A version of this article appears in print on  , Section A, Page 1 of the New York edition with the headline: Mesopotamia, Once Verdant, Is Running Dry. [Order Reprints](https://www.parsintl.com/publication/the-new-york-times/) | [Todays Paper](https://www.nytimes.com/section/todayspaper) | [Subscribe](https://www.nytimes.com/subscriptions/Multiproduct/lp8HYKU.html?campaignId=48JQY)
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&emsp;
```button
name Save
type command
action Save current file
id Save
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^button-ACoderConsiderstheWaningDaysoftheCraftNSave
&emsp;
# A Coder Considers the Waning Days of the Craft
I have always taken it for granted that, just as my parents made sure that I could read and write, I would make sure that my kids could program computers. It is among the newer arts but also among the most essential, and ever more so by the day, encompassing everything from filmmaking to physics. Fluency with code would round out my childrens literacy—and keep them employable. But as I write this my wife is pregnant with our first child, due in about three weeks. I code professionally, but, by the time that child can type, coding as a valuable skill might have faded from the world.
I first began to believe this on a Friday morning this past summer, while working on a small hobby project. A few months back, my friend Ben and I had resolved to create a *Times*\-style crossword puzzle entirely by computer. In 2018, wed made a Saturday puzzle with the help of software and were surprised by how little we contributed—just applying our taste here and there. Now we would attempt to build a crossword-making program that didnt require a human touch.
When weve taken on projects like this in the past, theyve had both a hardware component and a software component, with Bens strengths running toward the former. We once made a neon sign that would glow when the subway was approaching the stop near our apartments. Ben bent the glass and wired up the transformers circuit board. I wrote code to process the transit data. Ben has some professional coding experience of his own, but it was brief, shallow, and now about twenty years out of date; the serious coding was left to me. For the new crossword project, though, Ben had introduced a third party. Hed signed up for a ChatGPT Plus subscription and was using GPT-4 as a coding assistant.
Something strange started happening. Ben and I would talk about a bit of software we wanted for the project. Then, a shockingly short time later, Ben would deliver it himself. At one point, we wanted a command that would print a hundred random lines from a dictionary file. I thought about the problem for a few minutes, and, when thinking failed, tried Googling. I made some false starts using what I could gather, and while I did my thing—programming—Ben told GPT-4 what he wanted and got code that ran perfectly.
Fine: commands like those are notoriously fussy, and everybody looks them up anyway. Its not real programming. A few days later, Ben talked about how it would be nice to have an iPhone app to rate words from the dictionary. But he had no idea what a pain it is to make an iPhone app. Id tried a few times and never got beyond something that half worked. I found Apples programming environment forbidding. You had to learn not just a new language but a new program for editing and running code; you had to learn a zoo of “U.I. components” and all the complicated ways of stitching them together; and, finally, you had to figure out how to package the app. The mountain of new things to learn never seemed worth it. The next morning, I woke up to an app in my in-box that did exactly what Ben had said he wanted. It worked perfectly, and even had a cute design. Ben said that hed made it in a few hours. GPT-4 had done most of the heavy lifting.
By now, most people have had experiences with A.I. Not everyone has been impressed. Ben recently said, “I didnt start really respecting it until I started having it write code for me.” I suspect that non-programmers who are skeptical by nature, and who have seen ChatGPT turn out wooden prose or bogus facts, are still underestimating whats happening.
Bodies of knowledge and skills that have traditionally taken lifetimes to master are being swallowed at a gulp. Coding has always felt to me like an endlessly deep and rich domain. Now I find myself wanting to write a eulogy for it. I keep thinking of Lee Sedol. Sedol was one of the worlds best Go players, and a national hero in South Korea, but is now best known for losing, in 2016, to a computer program called AlphaGo. Sedol had walked into the competition believing that he would easily defeat the A.I. By the end of the days-long match, he was proud of having eked out a single game. As it became clear that he was going to lose, Sedol said, in a press conference, “I want to apologize for being so powerless.” He retired three years later. Sedol seemed weighed down by a question that has started to feel familiar, and urgent: What will become of this thing Ive given so much of my life to?
My first enchantment with computers came when I was about six years old, in Montreal in the early nineties, playing Mortal Kombat with my oldest brother. He told me about some “fatalities”—gruesome, witty ways of killing your opponent. Neither of us knew how to inflict them. He dialled up an FTP server (where files were stored) in an MS-DOS terminal and typed obscure commands. Soon, he had printed out a page of codes—instructions for every fatality in the game. We went back to the basement and exploded each others heads.
I thought that my brother was a hacker. Like many programmers, I dreamed of breaking into and controlling remote systems. The point wasnt to cause mayhem—it was to find hidden places and learn hidden things. “My crime is that of curiosity,” goes “The Hackers Manifesto,” written in 1986 by Loyd Blankenship. My favorite scene from the 1995 movie “Hackers” is when Dade Murphy, a newcomer, proves himself at an underground club. Someone starts pulling a rainbow of computer books out of a backpack, and Dade recognizes each one from the cover: the green book on international Unix environments; the red one on N.S.A.-trusted networks; the one with the pink-shirted guy on I.B.M. PCs. Dade puts his expertise to use when he turns on the sprinkler system at school, and helps right the ballast of an oil tanker—all by tap-tapping away at a keyboard. The lesson was that knowledge is power.
But how do you actually learn to hack? My family had settled in New Jersey by the time I was in fifth grade, and when I was in high school I went to the Borders bookstore in the Short Hills mall and bought “Beginning Visual C++,” by Ivor Horton. It ran to twelve hundred pages—my first grimoire. Like many tutorials, it was easy at first and then, suddenly, it wasnt. Medieval students called the moment at which casual learners fail the *pons asinorum*, or “bridge of asses.” The term was inspired by Proposition 5 of Euclids Elements I, the first truly difficult idea in the book. Those who crossed the bridge would go on to master geometry; those who didnt would remain dabblers. Section 4.3 of “Beginning Visual C++,” on “Dynamic Memory Allocation,” was my bridge of asses. I did not cross.
But neither did I drop the subject. I remember the moment things began to turn. I was on a long-haul flight, and Id brought along a boxy black laptop and a CD-*ROM* with the Borland C++ compiler. A compiler translates code you write into code that the machine can run; I had been struggling for days to get this one to work. By convention, every coders first program does nothing but generate the words “Hello, world.” When I tried to run my version, I just got angry error messages. Whenever I fixed one problem, another cropped up. I had read the “Harry Potter” books and felt as if I were in possession of a broom but had not yet learned the incantation to make it fly. Knowing what might be possible if I did, I kept at it with single-minded devotion. What I learned was that programming is not really about knowledge or skill but simply about patience, or maybe obsession. Programmers are people who can endure an endless parade of tedious obstacles. Imagine explaining to a simpleton how to assemble furniture over the phone, with no pictures, in a language you barely speak. Imagine, too, that the only response you ever get is that youve suggested an absurdity and the whole thing has gone awry. All the sweeter, then, when you manage to get something assembled. I have a distinct memory of lying on my stomach in the airplane aisle, and then hitting Enter one last time. I sat up. The computer, for once, had done what Id told it to do. The words “Hello, world” appeared above my cursor, now in the computers own voice. It seemed as if an intelligence had woken up and introduced itself to me.
Most of us never became the kind of hackers depicted in “Hackers.” To “hack,” in the parlance of a programmer, is just to tinker—to express ingenuity through code. I never formally studied programming; I just kept messing around, making computers do helpful or delightful little things. In my freshman year of college, I knew that Id be on the road during the third round of the 2006 Masters Tournament, when Tiger Woods was moving up the field, and I wanted to know what was happening in real time. So I made a program that scraped the leaderboard on pgatour.com and sent me a text message anytime he birdied or bogeyed. Later, after reading “Ulysses” in an English class, I wrote a program that pulled random sentences from the book, counted their syllables, and assembled haikus—a more primitive regurgitation of language than youd get from a chatbot these days, but nonetheless capable, I thought, of real poetry:
> Ill flay him alive
> Uncertainly he waited
> Heavy of the past
I began taking coding seriously. I offered to do programming for a friends startup. The world of computing, I came to learn, is vast but organized almost geologically, as if deposited in layers. From the Web browser down to the transistor, each sub-area or system is built atop some other, older sub-area or system, the layers dense but legible. The more one digs, the more one develops what the race-car driver Jackie Stewart called “mechanical sympathy,” a sense for the machines strengths and limits, of what one could make it do.
At my friends company, I felt my mechanical sympathy developing. In my sophomore year, I was watching “Jeopardy!” with a friend when he suggested that I make a playable version of the show. I thought about it for a few hours before deciding, with much disappointment, that it was beyond me. But when the idea came up again, in my junior year, I could see a way through it. I now had a better sense of what one could do with the machine. I spent the next fourteen hours building the game. Within weeks, playing “Jimbo Jeopardy!” had become a regular activity among my friends. The experience was profound. I could understand why people poured their lives into craft: there is nothing quite like watching someone enjoy a thing youve made.
In the midst of all this, I had gone full “Paper Chase” and begun ignoring my grades. I worked voraciously, just not on my coursework. One night, I took over a half-dozen machines in a basement computer lab to run a program in parallel. I laid printouts full of numbers across the floor, thinking through a pathfinding algorithm. The cost was that I experienced for real that recurring nightmare in which you show up for a final exam knowing nothing of the material. (Mine was in Real Analysis, in the math department.) In 2009, during the most severe financial crisis in decades, I graduated with a 2.9 G.P.A.
And yet I got my first full-time job easily. I had work experience as a programmer; nobody asked about my grades. For the young coder, these were boom times. Companies were getting into bidding wars over top programmers. Solicitations for experienced programmers were so aggressive that they complained about “recruiter spam.” The popularity of university computer-science programs was starting to explode. (My degree was in economics.) Coding “boot camps” sprang up that could credibly claim to turn beginners into high-salaried programmers in less than a year. At one of my first job interviews, in my early twenties, the C.E.O. asked how much I thought I deserved to get paid. I dared to name a number that faintly embarrassed me. He drew up a contract on the spot, offering ten per cent more. The skills of a “software engineer” were vaunted. At one company where I worked, someone got in trouble for using HipChat, a predecessor to Slack, to ask one of my colleagues a question. “Never HipChat an engineer directly,” he was told. We were too important for that.
This was an era of near-zero interest rates and extraordinary tech-sector growth. Certain norms were established. Companies like Google taught the industry that coders were to have free espresso and catered hot food, world-class health care and parental leave, on-site gyms and bike rooms, a casual dress code, and “twenty-per-cent time,” meaning that they could devote one day a week to working on whatever they pleased. Their skills were considered so crucial and delicate that a kind of superstition developed around the work. For instance, it was considered foolish to estimate how long a coding task might take, since at any moment the programmer might turn over a rock and discover a tangle of bugs. Deadlines were anathema. If the pressure to deliver ever got too intense, a coder needed only to speak the word “burnout” to buy a few months.
From the beginning, I had the sense that there was something wrongheaded in all this. Was what we did really so precious? How long could the boom last? In my teens, I had done a little Web design, and, at the time, that work had been in demand and highly esteemed. You could earn thousands of dollars for a project that took a weekend. But along came tools like Squarespace, which allowed pizzeria owners and freelance artists to make their own Web sites just by clicking around. For professional coders, a tranche of high-paying, relatively low-effort work disappeared.
[](https://www.newyorker.com/cartoon/a27287)
“I should have known he has absolutely no morals—Ive seen how he loads a dishwasher.”
Cartoon by Hartley Lin
The response from the programmer community to these developments was just, Yeah, you have to keep levelling up your skills. Learn difficult, obscure things. Software engineers, as a species, love automation. Inevitably, the best of them build tools that make other kinds of work obsolete. This very instinct explained why we were so well taken care of: code had immense leverage. One piece of software could affect the work of millions of people. Naturally, this sometimes displaced programmers themselves. We were to think of these advances as a tide coming in, nipping at our bare feet. So long as we kept learning we would stay dry. Sound advice—until theres a tsunami.
When we were first allowed to use A.I. chatbots at work, for programming assistance, I studiously avoided them. I expected that my colleagues would, too. But soon I started seeing the telltale colors of an A.I. chat session—the zebra pattern of call-and-response—on programmers screens as I walked to my desk. A common refrain was that these tools made you more productive; in some cases, they helped you solve problems ten times faster.
I wasnt sure I wanted that. I enjoy the act of programming and I like to feel useful. The tools Im familiar with, like the text editor I use to format and to browse code, serve both ends. They enhance my practice of the craft—and, though they allow me to deliver work faster, I still feel that I deserve the credit. But A.I., as it was being described, seemed different. It provided a *lot* of help. I worried that it would rob me of both the joy of working on puzzles and the satisfaction of being the one who solved them. I could be infinitely productive, and all Id have to show for it would be the products themselves.
The actual work product of most programmers is rarely exciting. In fact, it tends to be almost comically humdrum. A few months ago, I came home from the office and told my wife about what a great day Id had wrestling a particularly fun problem. I was working on a program that generated a table, and someone had wanted to add a header that spanned more than one column—something that the custom layout engine wed written didnt support. The work was urgent: these tables were being used in important documents, wanted by important people. So I sequestered myself in a room for the better part of the afternoon. There were lots of lovely sub-problems: How should I allow users of the layout engine to convey that they want a column-spanning header? What should *their* code look like? And there were fiddly details that, if ignored, would cause bugs. For instance, what if one of the columns that the header was supposed to span got dropped because it didnt have any data? I knew it was a good day because I had to pull out pen and pad—I was drawing out possible scenarios, checking and double-checking my logic.
But taking a birds-eye view of what happened that day? A table got a new header. Its hard to imagine anything more mundane. For me, the pleasure was entirely in the process, not the product. And what would become of the process if it required nothing more than a three-minute ChatGPT session? Yes, our jobs as programmers involve many things besides literally writing code, such as coaching junior hires and designing systems at a high level. But coding has always been the root of it. Throughout my career, I have been interviewed and selected precisely for my ability to solve fiddly little programming puzzles. Suddenly, this ability was less important.
I had gathered as much from Ben, who kept telling me about the spectacular successes hed been having with GPT-4. It turned out that it was not only good at the fiddly stuff but also had the qualities of a senior engineer: from a deep well of knowledge, it could suggest ways of approaching a problem. For one project, Ben had wired a small speaker and a red L.E.D. light bulb into the frame of a portrait of King Charles, the light standing in for the gem in his crown; the idea was that when you entered a message on an accompanying Web site the speaker would play a tune and the light would flash out the message in Morse code. (This was a gift for an eccentric British expat.) Programming the device to fetch new messages eluded Ben; it seemed to require specialized knowledge not just of the microcontroller he was using but of Firebase, the back-end server technology that stored the messages. Ben asked me for advice, and I mumbled a few possibilities; in truth, I wasnt sure that what he wanted would be possible. Then he asked GPT-4. It told Ben that Firebase had a capability that would make the project much simpler. Here it was—and here was some code to use that would be compatible with the microcontroller.
Afraid to use GPT-4 myself—and feeling somewhat unclean about the prospect of paying OpenAI twenty dollars a month for it—I nonetheless started probing its capabilities, via Ben. Wed sit down to work on our crossword project, and Id say, “Why dont you try prompting it this way?” Hed offer me the keyboard. “No, you drive,” Id say. Together, we developed a sense of what the A.I. could do. Ben, who had more experience with it than I did, seemed able to get more out of it in a stroke. As he later put it, his own neural network had begun to align with GPT-4s. I would have said that he had achieved mechanical sympathy. Once, in a feat I found particularly astonishing, he had the A.I. build him a Snake game, like the one on old Nokia phones. But then, after a brief exchange with GPT-4, he got it to modify the game so that when you lost it would show you how far you strayed from the most efficient route. It took the bot about ten seconds to achieve this. It was a task that, frankly, I was not sure I could do myself.
In chess, which for decades now has been dominated by A.I., a players only hope is pairing up with a bot. Such half-human, half-A.I. teams, known as centaurs, might still be able to beat the best humans and the best A.I. engines working alone. Programming has not yet gone the way of chess. But the centaurs have arrived. GPT-4 on its own is, for the moment, a worse programmer than I am. Ben is much worse. But Ben plus GPT-4 is a dangerous thing.
It wasnt long before I caved. I was making a little search tool at work and wanted to highlight the parts of the users query that matched the results. But I was splitting up the query by words in a way that made things much more complicated. I found myself short on patience. I started thinking about GPT-4. Perhaps instead of spending an afternoon programming I could spend some time “prompting,” or having a conversation with an A.I.
In a 1978 essay titled “On the Foolishness of Natural Language Programming,’ ” the computer scientist Edsger W. Dijkstra argued that if you were to instruct computers not in a specialized language like C++ or Python but in your native tongue youd be rejecting the very precision that made computers useful. Formal programming languages, he wrote, are “an amazingly effective tool for ruling out all sorts of nonsense that, when we use our native tongues, are almost impossible to avoid.” Dijkstras argument became a truism in programming circles. When the essay made the rounds on Reddit in 2014, a top commenter wrote, “Im not sure which of the following is scariest. Just how trivially obvious this idea is” or the fact that “many still do not know it.”
When I first used GPT-4, I could see what Dijkstra was talking about. You cant just say to the A.I., “Solve my problem.” That day may come, but for now it is more like an instrument you must learn to play. You have to specify what you want carefully, as though talking to a beginner. In the search-highlighting problem, I found myself asking GPT-4 to do too much at once, watching it fail, and then starting over. Each time, my prompts became less ambitious. By the end of the conversation, I wasnt talking about search or highlighting; I had broken the problem into specific, abstract, unambiguous sub-problems that, together, would give me what I wanted.
Having found the A.I.s level, I felt almost instantly that my working life had been transformed. Everywhere I looked I could see GPT-4-size holes; I understood, finally, why the screens around the office were always filled with chat sessions—and how Ben had become so productive. I opened myself up to trying it more often.
I returned to the crossword project. Our puzzle generator printed its output in an ugly text format, with lines like `"s""c""a""r""*""k""u""n""i""s""*" "a""r""e""a"`. I wanted to turn output like that into a pretty Web page that allowed me to explore the words in the grid, showing scoring information at a glance. But I knew the task would be tricky: each letter had to be tagged with the words it belonged to, both the across and the down. This was a detailed problem, one that could easily consume the better part of an evening. With the baby on the way, I was short on free evenings. So I began a conversation with GPT-4. Some back-and-forth was required; at one point, I had to read a few lines of code myself to understand what it was doing. But I did little of the kind of thinking I once believed to be constitutive of coding. I didnt think about numbers, patterns, or loops; I didnt use my mind to simulate the activity of the computer. As another coder, Geoffrey Litt, wrote after a similar experience, “I never engaged my detailed programmer brain.” So what *did* I do?
Perhaps what pushed Lee Sedol to retire from the game of Go was the sense that the game had been forever cheapened. When I got into programming, it was because computers felt like a form of magic. The machine gave you powers but required you to study its arcane secrets—to learn a spell language. This took a particular cast of mind. I felt selected. I devoted myself to tedium, to careful thinking, and to the accumulation of obscure knowledge. Then, one day, it became possible to achieve many of the same ends without the thinking and without the knowledge. Looked at in a certain light, this can make quite a lot of ones working life seem like a waste of time.
But whenever I think about Sedol I think about chess. After machines conquered that game, some thirty years ago, the fear was that there would be no reason to play it anymore. Yet chess has never been more popular—A.I. has enlivened the game. A friend of mine picked it up recently. At all hours, he has access to an A.I. coach that can feed him chess problems just at the edge of his ability and can tell him, after hes lost a game, exactly where he went wrong. Meanwhile, at the highest levels, grandmasters study moves the computer proposes as if reading tablets from the gods. Learning chess has never been easier; studying its deepest secrets has never been more exciting.
Computing is not yet overcome. GPT-4 is impressive, but a layperson cant wield it the way a programmer can. I still feel secure in my profession. In fact, I feel somewhat more secure than before. As software gets easier to make, itll proliferate; programmers will be tasked with its design, its configuration, and its maintenance. And though Ive always found the fiddly parts of programming the most calming, and the most essential, Im not especially good at them. Ive failed many classic coding interview tests of the kind you find at Big Tech companies. The thing Im relatively good at is knowing whats worth building, what users like, how to communicate both technically and humanely. A friend of mine has called this A.I. moment “the revenge of the so-so programmer.” As coding per se begins to matter less, maybe softer skills will shine.
That still leaves open the matter of what to teach my unborn child. I suspect that, as my child comes of age, we will think of “the programmer” the way we now look back on “the computer,” when that phrase referred to a person who did calculations by hand. Programming by typing C++ or Python yourself might eventually seem as ridiculous as issuing instructions in binary onto a punch card. Dijkstra would be appalled, but getting computers to do precisely what you want might become a matter of asking politely.
So maybe the thing to teach isnt a skill but a spirit. I sometimes think of what I might have been doing had I been born in a different time. The coders of the agrarian days probably futzed with waterwheels and crop varietals; in the Newtonian era, they might have been obsessed with glass, and dyes, and timekeeping. I was reading an oral history of neural networks recently, and it struck me how many of the people interviewed—people born in and around the nineteen-thirties—had played with radios when they were little. Maybe the next cohort will spend their late nights in the guts of the A.I.s their parents once regarded as black boxes. I shouldnt worry that the era of coding is winding down. Hacking is forever. ♦
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# A Fake Death in Romancelandia
![A portrait of Susan Meachen who wears a wide-neck pink shirt and sits in a park with a lake out of focus behind her, brightly reflecting sunlight.](https://static01.nyt.com/images/2023/01/13/multimedia/00FAKE-SUICIDE-01-wmfh/00FAKE-SUICIDE-01-wmfh-articleLarge.jpg?quality=75&auto=webp&disable=upscale)
Susan Meachen, a romance novelist in Tennessee, has faced questions from police about faking her own death online.Credit...Jessica Tezak for The New York Times
The Great Read
A Tennessee homemaker entered the online world of romance writers and it became, in her words, “an addiction.” Things went downhill from there.
Susan Meachen, a romance novelist in Tennessee, has faced questions from police about faking her own death online.Credit...Jessica Tezak for The New York Times
- Published Jan. 16, 2023Updated Jan. 19, 2023
### Listen to This Article
*To hear more audio stories from publications like The New York Times,* [*download Audm for iPhone or Android*](https://www.audm.com/?utm_source=nyt&utm_medium=embed&utm_campaign=fake_death_in_romancelandia)*.*
Late Monday morning, two police officers drove up a gravel driveway to a mobile home in Benton, Tenn., a tiny town in the foothills of the southern Appalachians, to question Susan Meachen, a 47-year-old homemaker and author of romance novels.
She had been expecting them. For a week, she had been the focus of a scandal within the online subculture of self-published romance writers, part of the literary world sometimes known as “Romancelandia.”
The police wanted to talk to Ms. Meachen about faking her own death. In the fall of 2020, a post announcing she had died had appeared on her Facebook page, where she had often described her struggles with mental health and complained of poor treatment at the hands of other writers.
The post, apparently written by her daughter, led many to assume she had died by suicide. It sent fans and writers into a spiral of grief and introspection, wondering how their sisterhood had turned so poisonous.
But she wasnt dead. Two weeks ago, to the shock of her online community, Ms. Meachen returned to her page to say she was back and now “in a good place,” and ready to resume writing under her own name. She playfully concluded: “Let the fun begin.”
Other writers, seeing this, were not in the mood for fun. Describing deep feelings of betrayal, they have called for her to be prosecuted for fraud, alleging that she faked her death to sell books or solicit cash donations. They have reported her to the F.B.I. cybercrimes unit and the local sheriff and vowed to shun her and her work. Some have questioned whether she exists in real life.
Ms. Meachen does exist. In a series of interviews, she said the online community had become a treacherous place for a person in her mental state, as she struggled to manage a new diagnosis of bipolar disorder.
“I think its a very dangerous mix-up, especially if you have a mental illness,” she said. “I would log on and get in, and at some point in the day my two worlds would collide, and it would be hard to differentiate between book world and the real world. It was like they would sandwich together.”
Image
A text message from Ms. Meachen to Samantha A. Cole, another romance writer in her Facebook group.Credit...via Facebook
When she was first introduced to “the book world,” as she calls it, she was alone at home for long stretches while her husband, a long-haul truck driver, traversed the country.
She read romance novels, sometimes plowing through more than one a day. She had always been a reader, despite dropping out of school in the ninth grade to marry. The online romance community was a revelation to her, “like an escape, a timeout, a break from everyday reality,” she said.
Over time, though, it began to feel more like quicksand. Over the next three years, she self-published 14 novels and maintained a near-constant social media presence. She was also diagnosed with bipolar disorder, a disease characterized by periods of manic activity that can alternate with deep depression.
The book world made her disorder worse, she said. Writing often sent her into a manic state, and conflicts on the fan pages left her seething. She knew she should walk away, and she tried. But she said it was “an addiction”; every time she tried to log off for good, her phone would ping.
### Dead people dont post
Romance writers groups can be fizzy, exhilarating places. There is sexy cover art. There is snappy industry jargon, like HEA (Happily Ever After), Dubcon (dubious consent) and Reverse Harem (a female protagonist with multiple male love interests.)
At their best, the groups are a fountain of support for “indie” authors, who self-publish their work and help each other with covers and marketing, which is known as “pimping.” At their worst, they can be “epicenters of nonstop drama,” said Sarah Wendell, the co-founder of the romance blog Smart Bitches, Trashy Books.
Ms. Meachens fan page, The Ward — a humorous reference to a psychiatric hospital — went in that direction. She complained bitterly about colleagues who, she said, she had helped but had failed to help her in return, and threatened to leave the indie world.
“Every day it got to the point Id rather be dead than to deal with the industry and the people who swear they are friends,” she [wrote](https://www.facebook.com/groups/1625944067497096/posts/3304801539611332/) in September of 2020. “Ive had some dog eat dog jobs in my life but this one is by far the most vicious with the least amount of money.”
Image
![Rolling hills outside Benton, Tenn., with a single home on a hill and mountains in the background. A line of flags is slightly out of focus in the foreground.](https://static01.nyt.com/images/2023/01/13/multimedia/00FAKE-SUICIDE-02-wmfh/00FAKE-SUICIDE-02-wmfh-articleLarge.jpg?quality=75&auto=webp&disable=upscale)
Ms. Meachen lives in the tiny town of Benton in the Appalachian foothills in southeastern Tennessee.Credit...Jessica Tezak for The New York Times
She described her psychiatric treatment and alluded to past suicide attempts.
“Dear Scary people in my head, I truly understand weve been doing your story for over a year,” she wrote. “Waking me up with muscles screaming at me to get up and finish does not motivate me.”
Ms. Meachens psychiatrist, Dr. Niansen Liu, confirmed, with her permission, that she is under his treatment for bipolar disorder and that she has been prescribed medications for anxiety, depression and psychosis. He would not comment further on her case.
Her online friends worried about her, and some reached out to express their concern, but there was a limit to what they could do, said Kimberly Grell, who became friendly with her through writing groups.
“She was becoming pretty chaotic,” Ms. Grell said. “It just seemed like every problem that surfaced with her she was in the middle of, and it turned to where she was the victim of it all.”
She sympathized with Ms. Meachens frustration, though, as it became clear that she might not be able to earn money with her writing.
“A lot of people get into this type of business thinking theyre going to make their millions, like Stephen King or James Patterson,” said Ms. Grell, who exited the romance industry last year to sell [beaded jewelry](http://foxwood-designs.weebly.com/#/). “The reality is, its a money pit. You are literally tossing your money into a pit hoping someone will find you.”
Ms. Meachens husband, Troy, said he came to see the “book world” as a danger to his wifes welfare.
When she sent out samples of her work to other authors, the responses she got were often “really brutal,” he said. When writing, he said, she had periods of mania and psychosis; sometimes, he would come home and “she would talk like a character from a book, like she was the individual she was writing.”
He worried that it was too dangerous to leave her alone during the day. “It got to the point where it was like, enough is enough,” he said, comparing the communitys effect on her to a whirlpool. “She was going round and round,” he said, “and the bottom was just right there.”
This reached a climax in the fall of 2020, according to Mr. and Ms. Meachen and their 22-year-old daughter, who described the episode on the condition that her name not be used.
It had been a rough few weeks. In August, someone had called police because they feared she would harm herself. On September 10, Mr. Meachen was away, hauling a shipment of chemicals. Their daughter stopped by to check on her mother, and found her semiconscious.
Ms. Meachen had taken a large dose of Xanax, enough to make her “like a limp noodle,” and was “not cognitive or responsive,” Mr. Meachen said. He instructed their daughter to announce her death online, he said.
“I told them that she is dead to the indie world, the internet, because we had to stop her, period,” he said. “She could not stop it on her own. And, even to this day, Ill take 100 percent of the blame, the accolades, whatever you want to call it.”
The [post](https://www.facebook.com/susan.meachen/posts/pfbid0Z35M43475M5vsLFxmbbX7MrncLWNxZhvr8cVKUMJvMNEVMUAxjwTug3s41gq5pR5l) on Meachens page said she had died two days earlier. “Author Susan Meachen left this world behind Tuesday night for bigger and better things,” it said. “Please leave us alone we have no desire in this messed-up industry.”
A follow-up post appeared on Oct. 23. “Sorry thought everyone on this page knew my mom passed away,” it said. “Dead people dont post on social media.”
Image
Ms. Meachen and her husband of 27 years, Troy. He said he came to see the “book world” as a danger to his wifes welfare.Credit...via Susan Meachen
### I feel majorly gaslit
The news of Ms. Meachens death radiated out through the fan pages. Ms. Meachen was well known in the community, and had often reached out to new authors, volunteering to provide cover art or help with marketing.
“Susan, I will never, ever forget how kind you were to me,” wrote Sai Marie Johnson, 38, the author of “Embers of Ecstasy,” at the time.
“I only wish you would have known I would have talked you through the night, Id have defended you against your bullies,” she wrote. “I will do everything I can to make a difference so your death is not in vain.”
Ms. Johnson, who lives in Oregon, was so upset that she reached out to Ms. Meachens daughter online and offered to edit her mothers last book for free, as a tribute. But the damage had been done, she said: Over the months that followed, many members, disgusted by the “Mean Girl”-ness of it all, migrated out of the community or deleted their accounts.
“It caused a huge shift in this community,” Ms. Johnson said. “There was a lot of drama, but this was the tidal wave. Nobody before had gotten so abused that they wanted to commit suicide.”
The subject receded, replaced by other dramas, until Jan. 2, when Ms. Meachen reappeared on her fan page with the news that she was alive.
Ms. Meachen did not see it as a particularly big deal. Eager to resume writing under her own name, she had been considering such a move for about a year, she said. She sat down at the computer, she said, and “hit enter before I could talk myself out of it.”
“I debated on how to do this a million times and still not sure if its right or not,” the [post](https://www.facebook.com/groups/1625944067497096/posts/5808796625878465/) read. “Theres going to be tons of questions and a lot of people leaving the group Id guess. But my family did what they thought was best for me and I cant fault them for it.”
For the first few hours, the response was muted. Then, as she put it, “all hell broke loose.” Her post was widely shared by Samantha A. Cole, a romance writer from the suburbs of New York City, along with a seething commentary.
“I was horrified, stunned, livid, and felt like Id been kicked in the gut and the chest at the same time,” wrote Ms. Cole, who previously worked as a police officer, and asked to be identified by her pen name to avoid the notice of people she had arrested.
More than anything, Ms. Cole said, she was hurt. She had gone into a “major funk” for months over Ms. Meachens death, worried that she had not been a good friend. Worse, in the recriminations that followed, Ms. Cole was accused on one fan page of bullying Ms. Meachen, something both women said was untrue.
Ms. Cole, who describes herself as “naturally suspicious,” set about documenting Ms. Meachens false claims in [a series of screen shots and DMs](https://www.facebook.com/100079582864860/posts/pfbid02pczyXmW2ATJRDyZgrgVU6nb4RMiVC5z4kLyDgaUAutuHaNC7gGpaYFBnsCCE5xQZl/?mibextid=BUZLm6).
Image
An excerpt from Ms. Coles Facebook page.Credit...via Facebook
She provided screenshots showing that Ms. Meachen had [appealed to the group for financial help](https://www.facebook.com/100079582864860/posts/pfbid026bsMAjkkBvbFbMdYspsCjHPKuj79z3TEiqwA57Y9v611q5ye116j6PJUHXkG48nwl/?mibextid=Nif5oz) in medical emergencies and noted that she returned to the fan page under a new identity, T.N. Steele, effectively eavesdropping on her own mourners.
“It was important to me because the people that had grieved for her death for so long had a right to know that the whole thing was a hoax,” Ms. Cole said. “Thats what led me to do this, my anger and the sense of betrayal. I needed a way to vent.”
Many authors who are angry say it is because they know so many people struggling with mental illness themselves, and that it is despicable to falsify suicide for any reason.
“I feel majorly gaslit,” said Ms. Johnson, who, last week, filed a report about the incident to the cybercrimes unit of the F.B.I. She added, “It doesnt seem like she is apologetic, and she is trying to cast blame on people, trying to get them to accept that she had a mental illness.”
As the scandal drew the attention of mainstream media outlets to the romance industry, many of its senior figures drew a weary sigh.
“I do not think it is going to help the romance industrys persona of being a bunch of overly emotional women,” said Clair Brett, the president of the Romance Writers of America.
### A twinge of remorse
Ms. Meachen watched from Benton while the online backlash made headlines in Greece and Britain and France; reporters from various countries were appearing in her DMs, which stressed her out.
This meant, among other things, that her real-life neighbors might read her novels, which fall on the racier end of the genres spectrum. For years, she has carefully separated her two identities — the romance writer and the homebody — but now they were smashing together.
She had not heard again from the police and sounded confident that she would not face charges, saying the family had not received substantial donations after her online death announcement; she had offered the detectives access to her bank accounts to prove it. She did admit feeling remorse for the fans who had grieved her loss.
“Im sorry for their mourning, but from a legal standpoint, I did nothing wrong,” she said. “Morally, I might have done something wrong. But legally, theres nothing wrong.”
If Ms. Meachen was on the edges of a literary world before, she is now cast out of it. Her fan page has gone silent. Her inbox is full of angry messages from former friends. Looking back on the whole story, she said she regrets it all, starting with entering the romance groups.
“It wasnt good for me,” she said. “No, it wasnt. I wish I had never met the book industry whatsoever.”
She has set aside her plans to resume writing fiction, for now, to deal with more immediate concerns. Someone is impersonating her on social media, issuing comments about the scandal, she said, and hoax Susans were bouncing around the internet saying God knows what.
“Thats whats so funny about it,” her husband said. “You can be anybody you want to be on the internet.”
Audio produced by Tally Abecassis.
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Date: 2023-06-11
DocType: "WebClipping"
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TimeStamp: 2023-06-11
Link: https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2023/06/12/a-mothers-exchange-for-her-daughters-future
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&emsp;
```button
name Save
type command
action Save current file
id Save
```
^button-AMothersExchangeforHerDaughtersFutureNSave
&emsp;
# A Mothers Exchange for Her Daughters Future
“Will I live to see its end?” your mother asks.
She is sixty-nine years old and lies in the hospital room where she has been marooned for the past eight years, shipwrecked in her own body.
“It” is the story that you are now writing—this beginning you have yet to imagine and the ending she will not live to see.
Write as if you were dying, Annie Dillard once said.
But what if you are writing in competition with death?
What if the story you are telling is racing against death?
In your dreams, you are always running. Running to catch your mother, running to intercept her before she reaches the end.
In your dreams, your mother has no legs, no arms, no spine—no body. She is smooth and pure, a sheet of glass that becomes visible only when it breaks. At which time she disintegrates into smaller and smaller pieces until you are whispering to a sliver on the tip of your finger. That fine fleck of her. What is a mother? you ask. Is this still a mother? Is that?
Your mother, who has amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, speaks with her eyelids, using the last muscles over which she exercises twitchy control.
A.L.S. is an insurrection of the body against the mind. It is a mysterious massacre of motor neurons, the messengers that deliver data from brain to organ and limb.
It is a disease that [Descartes](https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2006/11/20/rene-descartes-think-again) would have loved for its brutal division of the mind, “a thinking, non-extended thing,” from the body, an “extended, non-thinking thing.”
To speak her mind, your mother is dependent on your body. At her bedside, you trail your finger around a clear-plastic alphabet chart, as if you were teaching her a new language. Blinking is what she has—that raw, moist thwacking.
One day, your mother wants to know what you are writing about.
You tell her that it is about you. The two of you.
“Whats interesting about us?” she asks.
You are in the middle of explaining that you are still working that out when she starts blinking again: “Summery.”
Summer?
You often have trouble communicating. Language warps and tangles between you. Chinese and English. Chinglish and misspelled English. Words that begin in English and wobble into Chinese Pinyin.
Her body, frozen, is still the most expressive thing there is. That singular determination to be understood.
*Summary*, you realize—she is asking for a summary. When you were ten and learning to write in English, she demanded that you write book summaries. Three-sentence précis with a beginning, a middle, and an end. Taut and efficient, free of the metaphors and florid fuss of which you were always so fond.
Before you can ask if that is what she wants now—a synopsis of your unwritten story—there is a stench. It is your mothers shit, and already a single brown rivulet has seeped down the limp marble of her thigh.
Your mother is a marionette controlled by tubes and wires. To position her in such a way that the health aide can wipe and clean, you must align your body with hers—yours are the limbs that scaffold her limbs, the arm that clasps her arm, the knee that supports her knee.
Your mothers face is creased in pain. Her teeth are clenched, tiny chipped doors.
The alphabet chart again.
D-E-A-D.
No, you hurry to assure her, as you have a thousand times before. No, discomfort is not death. Discomfort is only temporary.
The creases deepen.
L-I-N-E.
Deadline.
You tell your mother the month and the year that your book is due, and she asks for the exact date.
Most people dont meet their deadline, you say. You are distracted. There is too much shit. It is a wet, languid mass that has gathered in all her folds. Mud-brown and yellow and green oozing across the loaf of her flesh.
You want to rid your mother entirely of its unacceptability, but that is plainly impossible. Scrub too hard, even with a wet towel, and you will tear the rice paper of her skin. Too lightly and the bacteria left behind will fester into infection. These are the inevitabilities that come from living in a bed for eight years. You want to save your mother from these inevitabilities, just as she wants to save you from your own. But, helplessly and hopelessly, you are both beyond each others reach.
Ill try to make the deadline, you say, as you pull the sheet from underneath her. You are wiping the folds around her pubic bone when she signals with her eyes for you to stop. She is grimacing again, in pain. A kind you would have to crawl into her body to understand.
“Not try. Never try,” she spells out. “You do. Or you dont.”
Not long after you and your mother arrived in the U.S., before your father left for good, a stranger came to the door of your dank studio apartment in New Haven to convince your mother of the existence of God. Plump, dignified, with a loose, expressive face, she was the first American, and the first Black person, you had ever seen up close. “Jehovahs Witness” meant nothing to your mother, so she took to calling the woman Missionary Lady.
That first day, Missionary Lady came bearing a free Chinese-language picture book in which a white-haired man with benevolent eyes presided serenely over Popsicle-colored sunsets. While your mother presented her with slices of watermelon, the visitor even chimed in with a few halting words of Chinese that shed picked up in the immigrant-dense neighborhood, only one of which you understood: “Saviour.”
Your mother could have used a savior then. Her marriage was on the verge of dissolution, her visa was about to expire, and she had scarcely two hundred dollars to her name and an eight-year-old daughter in tow.
In the course of several months, Missionary Lady visited weekly. Did your mother confide in her new friend the difficulties of her life? You dont know. But sometimes, as the light grew dim in the evening, you saw her thumbing through the picture book.
One of those times, when you couldnt contain yourself any longer, you asked her, “Did Missionary Lady accomplish her mission?”
“Its a good story,” your mother said, sighing. “But a story cant save me.”
Your mother didnt believe in God. But she had an iron faith, embodied in a classic fable popularized by [Chairman Mao](https://www.newyorker.com/tag/mao-zedong):
Once upon a time in ancient China, there lived an old man named Yu Gong. His house was nestled in a remote village and separated from the wider world by two giant mountains. Although he was already ninety years old, Yu Gong was determined to remove these obstructions, and he called on his sons to help him. His only tools were hoes and pickaxes. The mountains were massive, and the sea, where he dumped the rocks hed chipped away, was so distant that he could make only one round trip in a year. His ambition was absurd enough that it soon invited the mockery of the local wise man. But Yu just looked at the man and sighed. “When I die, there will be my sons to continue the task, and when they die there will be their sons,” he responded. The God of Heaven, who overheard Yu, was so impressed with his persistence that he dispatched two deputies to help with the impossible goal, and the mountains were forever removed from Yus sight.
The world in which your mother grew up was predicated on the ideals of perseverance and will power. Born of messianic utopianism, its morality was one of extreme polarity. If you didnt attempt the impossible, you were indolence itself. If you were not flawless, you were evil. If you could not face the prospect of becoming a martyr, you were a coward. If you were not absolutely pure in thought and deed, you were damned. A single moment of lassitude could signal a descent into depravity. Discipline and endurance were destiny.
There was an old adage that your mother repeated for as long as you can remember, as if fingering rosary beads: “Time is like water in a sponge.” You, she implied, wouldnt have the fortitude to squeeze out every drop. Would you have had the perseverance of Old Man Yu? she was in the habit of asking you, challenging you.
You couldnt imagine your mother not moving a mountain. The brute, burning force of her striving was its own religion.
In China, your mother had been a doctor. In Connecticut, she got a job as a live-in housekeeper. When that job ended, she got another. For years, you wandered like nomads, squatting in immense, remote houses, as disconnected from your idea of home as the country in which you found yourselves.
Not long after you moved into the first house, your mothers employer gave you a journal with a [Degas](https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2016/04/11/degas-at-moma) ballerina on the cover. One of the first things you recorded in it was the cost of the journal, which you found on the back cover: $12.99, almost twice your mothers hourly wage. “Dear Diary,” you wrote in an early entry, “How will I fill you up?” The blank face of the page. The empty house of you.
In the residence that physically housed you, you and your mother occupied one room and one bed. You liked to pretend that the room, wrapped in chintz and adorned with prints of mallards, was your private island in the middle of foreign territory. All around you was unrecognizable, ephemeral wilderness, your mother the sole patch of habitable terrain. Only she knew where you came from, was part of your lifes seamless continuity, from the crumbling concrete tenement house where you lived during your first seven years to the studio apartment where the Missionary Lady brought you God and on to the mallards and the chintz. Without your mother, everything was smoke, the true shape of things hidden. A chipped enamelled rice cooker was all you retained of the apartment from which the two of you had been evicted months earlier. Your mother had managed to sneak it into this room and place it under the night table. You recorded this fact in your journal, because it was as if the two of you had got away with something illicit.
[](https://www.newyorker.com/cartoon/a27033)
“I wasnt getting any work done at home, so I thought Id try somewhere hot, bright, and uncomfortable.”
Cartoon by Asher Perlman
The two of you, feckless as runaway children.
When your mother was pregnant in China, she prayed for twins. It was the only permissible subversion of the states single-child policy.
Sometimes, in the womb, one twin eats the other, you learned from a medical encyclopedia in your school library. This isnt exactly true—one twin absorbs the other, who has stopped developing in utero. The medical term for this is “a vanishing twin.” You were not a twin, but the imagined carnage of cannibalism, of one baby devouring the other, stayed in your memory. Both children in the womb *try* to survive. Only one does.
You wandered into the plot of your life, half asleep. Like that room you shared with your mother, it didnt belong to you. One moment you were your mothers fellow-émigré and co-conspirator, and the next you were a rope pitched into the unknown, braided with strands of her implacable resolve and reckless ambition. You were the ladder upward out of her powerlessness, the towline that pulled the enterprise forward.
You had only partial access to the plan, but your mother hurtled ahead, measuring possibility against potential, maneuvering education and opportunity into position.
Your grades in school were not a measure of your aptitude in language arts or arithmetic but a testament to your ability to hold on to life itself. To grip the rock face, evade the avalanche, and swing yourself up to the next slab. Your mother lived below you, on the eroded slope, the pebbles always slipping beneath her feet, as she spelled out the situation with a desperation that struck you as humiliation: “You go to *school* in America, and I clean *toilets* in America.”
Your mother hated nothing so much as cleaning toilets. The injustice of it. Specks of other peoples shit that clung to the bowls upper rims, which she had to reach inside with her hands to wipe off.
The toilet bowl was the crucible of indignity, this strange commode you began using only upon arrival in this country.
In the latrine in your tenement in China, everything was steeped and smeared in the natural, variegated brown of feces. But here things were different. Here the gleaming white of the porcelain was accusatory, so clearly did it mark the difference between the disgusting and the pristine, the pure and the wretched.
The first time you clogged the toilet in the bathroom connected to your room—you had not known it was possible to dam up such a civilized contraption with your own excrement—you just stood there, stupefied, as the water rose and poured over the edge. Even before your mother sheepishly borrowed the plunger from her employer, before she hissed that it was enough that she cleaned other peoples shit to earn a living, she couldnt go around cleaning up yours, too, you felt dipped in an ineradicable disgrace.
One of the first stories about survival that you read in the American school your mother sent you to was that of a man who lost everything. Youd thought this was a story about an American god, but your teacher told you that it was also “Literature.”
In the land of Uz, there lived a man named [Job](https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2013/12/16/misery-3). God-fearing and upright, Job had seven sons and three daughters. He owned seven thousand sheep. Then, as the story goes, Satan and God decided to terrorize him. He was robbed of his home, his livestock, his children. Both mental and physical illness tormented him. His entire body was covered in painful boils that caused him to cry, “Why did I not perish at birth and die as I came from the womb?” In the end, when Job maintained his unswerving loyalty to God, everything was returned to him twofold.
In the story of Yu Gong, God rewards an old man who endeavors to do the impossible by helping him to accomplish in one lifetime what should have taken many. In the story of Job, God rewards an old man who maintains his faith against all odds by multiplying his worth.
Your mothers story was different from both Yu Gongs and Jobs:
Once upon a time there lived a woman who wanted to exchange her present for her daughters future. Little did she know that, if she did so, the two of them would merge into one ungainly creature, at once divided and reconstituted, and time would flow through both of them like water in a single stream. The child became the mothers future, and the mother became the childs present, taking up residence in her brain, blood, and bones. The woman vowed that she had no need for God, but her child always wondered, Was the bargain her mother had made a kind of prayer?
The first time you saw your mother steal, you were eleven and standing in the lotions aisle of CVS.
The air constricted in your lungs as you watched her clutch a jar of Olay face cream, slipping it into her purse, while pretending to examine the bottles on the next shelf over. Her fingers: they moved with animal instinct, deft and decisive, as if trapping prey.
It was your mother who had taught you that it was wrong to steal.
She didnt shoplift for the same reason that your seventh-grade classmates did. There was no thrill in it for her, of that you were certain. The things she stole were not, strictly speaking, items you or she needed in order to survive. She stole small indulgences that she did not believe she could afford, things that ever so briefly loosened the shackles of her misery.
And, knowing this, whenever you saw her steal you felt a slow, spreading dread, the recognition that there was something in you that could judge your mother, even as you actively colluded with her.
What you know of your mothers childhood can be summarized in a single story that is about not her childhood but her fathers:
There once lived a little boy, the son of impoverished tenant farmers. One day, he was invited to the village fair by the child of his richer neighbor. The neighbor gave the boy a few coins to spend at the fair. Ecstatic, he bought himself the first toy of his life, a wooden pencil, which he hung proudly around his neck the whole day. When he returned home, his parents beat him within an inch of his life. Those coins could have bought rice and grains! Enough to feed the family for a week!
This was the only story your grandfather told your mother of his childhood, and the first time she told it to you, you recognized the echo of every hero tale you were taught as a child. A Communist cadre till the end, your grandfather had run away at age sixteen to join the Party, which had given him the first full belly he had known. Just as important, the Party had taught him how to read, inspired the avidity with which he had marked up Maos Little Red Book: his cramped, inky annotations marching up and down the page like so many ants trooping through mountains.
The second time your mother told you the story, you were ten or eleven and she didnt have to tell it at all. The two of you were at Staples, shopping for school supplies. “*Back-to-school sale*,” the posters all over the store screamed. Four notebooks, four mechanical pencils, your mother had stipulated, but you wanted more. You always wanted more. When you persisted, she had only to look at you and utter the words “You have more than anyone” for you to know exactly whom she was referring to.
The story was growing inside you, just as it had grown in your mother: a cactus whose spines pierced their way through your thoughts.
One day, your mother unexpectedly appeared in your reading life as an indigent Austrian immigrant in nineteen-tens New York. The novel was called “[A Tree Grows in Brooklyn](https://www.amazon.com/Grows-Brooklyn-Anniversary-Perennial-Classics/dp/0060736267/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2HK9ZSE26ZC8&keywords=tree%20grows%20in%20brooklyn&qid=1685719621&sprefix=tree%20grows%20in%20brooklyn,aps,89&sr=8-1),” and although you could have found neither Austria nor Brooklyn on a map, the narrative moved through you until you seemed to be living inside it, instead of the other way round.
You read the novel once, twice, three times, swallowed up by the dyad of the plain, timorous, bookish daughter and her fierce and unsentimental working-class mother. The idea that mutual devotion could generate seething resentment and sorrow—it made your heart hammer. The episode that left the deepest impression on you involved a ritual in which the mother allows her daughter to have a cup of coffee with every meal, even knowing that she wont drink it, will just pour it out. “I think its good that people like us can waste something once in a while and get the feeling of how it would be to have lots of money and not have to worry about scrounging,” the mother remarks.
*Scrounging*. Until you read that sentence, you had not realized that that was what you and your mother did. It had never occurred to you that there could be another way for the two of you to live.
Now it seemed that you could be lacking in means yet be in possession of possibilities—this you who was one with your mother but not your mother, who squatted in other peoples houses, who hungered for everything but contributed nothing.
But what did you mean to accomplish by telling your mother that story? Your mother, for whom every story was a tool, for whom *that* story could only be a knife.
How slowly she turned to face you as she said these words: “I know what you are doing. If thats the mother you want, go out and find her.”
You were alone and she was alone. But it was the way the loneliness lived separately in each of you that pushed you both to the brink of disintegration.
Every time she left the house without you to run an errand or to pick up the children who were her charge, you were newly convinced that she would not return. Half of you had departed.
The other half was stranded in that airless prison, with nothing but your journal, your notebooks, and your mechanical pencils.
One day, she let slip something she could only have read in that journal.
When you confronted her about it, she was coolly impenitent.
“Oh, you must have known,” she said briskly.
“Known what?”
“I wouldnt have read it if I didnt have to.”
You didnt know how to respond except to stare at her in amazement.
“Yes,” she doubled down, eyes ablaze. “I wouldnt have to if you didnt keep so many secrets.”
Secrets? The only things you had ever kept from your mother were thoughts that you knew were unacceptable: sources of your own permanent self-disgust and shame. Her reading your journal was akin to her examining your soiled underwear.
“You are behaving like a child,” you muttered.
“What did you say?”
You caught a glint in her eye, a primordial helplessness. She had no choice but to unleash upon you, smash her rage into you like countless shards of glass.
Long after you had moved out of that room with the mallards and the rice cooker, the room that fused two into one, you understood that she was not so much beating you into submission as pulling you back into her body. It was an act not of aggression but of desperate self-defense.
How old were you the day the two of you found yourselves in that art museum? Old enough that you were interested in things that tested the boundaries of your understanding, old enough to pause for a long while in front of a sculpture—a circle cast in metal, like an oversized clock, inside of which were two simplified figures in profile. One walking from the top, feet mid-stride at twelve oclock, the other, with the same rolling gait, stepping past six oclock.
“What are we looking at?” your mother asked, by which she meant, What are *you* looking at?
You were in the habit of puzzling out the right answer, but this time you spoke instinctively.
“Life is not a line but a circle,” you said. You spoke confidently precisely because it was not a great insight. You knew it to be true the way you knew the sky to be blue. “No matter where you are, you can only walk into yourself.”
You had received a scholarship to a fancy boarding school. She had moved from housekeeping to waitressing. Your world had expanded while hers remained suspended.
“A circle?” she said, and then said it again, questing and songlike. “Life is a circle.”
There was a silence during which she tilted her chin and appraised you as if you were one of the figures in the sculpture. “Thats nice,” she said softly, with something akin to wonder.
You spent your early twenties waiting for your real life to begin, peering at it, as if through a window. How to break that windowpane? You didnt know. You were living in New York now, and you had a menial job at the Y.M.C.A. on the Bowery, where you were tasked with putting up multilingual signage. Most days, you had enough downtime to read books purporting to teach you how to write books.
The Y.M.C.A. was next to a Whole Foods, and every day after work you filled up a container with overpriced lettuce, beets, and boiled eggs and slipped upstairs to eat it in the café without paying. One day you were caught and led to a dark, dirty room where a Polaroid of you was snapped and you were told that, if you were ever caught stealing again, the police would be called.
The security guard who caught you, a boy who looked younger than you, couldnt hide his pleasure when he dumped the untouched food in the trash. Did you steal that, too, he said, smirking, and nodded at the book in your hand.
It was a copy of “[The Writing Life](https://www.amazon.com/Writing-Life-Annie-Dillard/dp/0060919884/ref=sr_1_1?crid=151VIED4XRHE1&keywords=dillard%20writing%20life&qid=1685719706&sprefix=dillard%20writing%20life,aps,82&sr=8-1),” the first book of Annie Dillards youd read. You had just got to the passage where Dillard refers to a succession of words as “a miners pick.” If you wield it to dig a path, she says, soon you will find yourself “deep in new territory.”
For you, the path always led back to your mother. How many times did you start a story about a mother and a daughter, only to find that you could not grope your way to an ending? How many times on a Friday after work, as you rode the train from the city to Connecticut, where your mother still lived, did you feel the forward motion as a journey backward through time?
In her presence, you were always divided against yourself.
There was the you who was walking away from her and the you who was perpetually diving back in.
Motor neurons, among our longest cells, pave a path of electric signals from brain to body. As A.L.S. progresses, cognitive function usually remains intact, but the motor neurons cease to deliver those signals. Without directives from above, limbs and organs gradually shut down until, at last, the body no longer knows how to inhale air.
You were twenty-five when your mothers illness was diagnosed, and never had the battle plan been more clear. You moved her into your apartment, one you had selected for the two of you, with a room for her and one for you. You fed her bottles of Ensure by the spoonful—until it had to be pushed through a feeding tube directly into her stomach. You set an alarm clock to wake you whenever you needed to adjust her breathing machine. You took on additional freelance work and began borrowing money from friends; you opted out of medical insurance for yourself until you could afford a part-time home aide, who was subsequently replaced by a full-time one. And then two.
The day that the motor neurons in your mothers body could no longer travel the length of her diaphragm, you received a call from the home aide, telling you that your mother was unconscious and that her skin was turning a translucent shade of blue.
At the hospital, when it became clear that your unconscious mother would die without mechanical ventilation, you were asked to make the choice on her behalf.
Will you save your mother or let her die?
It wasnt a choice.
Neither of you lived in the realm of choices. This was what you could not find the language to convey when her eyes flapped open, when her mouth dropped and no sound came out. A maimed bird. You had done that. You had done it not by choice but by pure instinct.
There was your mother, locked inside her body. There was her face, the color of cement after rain. There were her eyes: dark, plaintive, screaming.
That was the first terrible day of the alphabet chart, which you had encouraged her to learn while she still had the faculty of speech. Which she had dismissed, along with the use of a wheelchair. Your mothers belief in the future was always as selective as her memory of the past.
At 2 *a.m*., a heavy-footed, uniformed woman came in to change your mother.
“Family members arent allowed,” she said.
You posed this as a possibility to your mother and watched her eyes quake.
“Well be done in a jiff.”
A jiff—the words knocked around in your head. “In a jiff,” you repeated to your mother. In a jiff, you were pushed out of the room, stumbling down the waxen-floored corridor and wheedling with the charge nurse for permission to be an exception to the rule.
“Really,” the woman said, “we are very experienced here.” She regarded you for a second—the clench of your face, the madness of your eyes. “You cant care for the patient if you dont take care of yourself first.”
You walked back to your mothers room and pulled open the curtain. The aide was gone. The sheets had been changed. A strong antiseptic smell hung heavy in the air. Your mothers face was twisted and swollen, streaked with secretions gray and green.
You asked if she was O.K., but you didnt want to know the answer. Or, rather, you already knew it.
“How could you?” your mother replied, through the alphabet chart. “You left me like an animal.”
Your mother never liked animals much and barely tolerated the pets of her employers. In the first family, there were two dogs, Max and Willy, a blond and a chocolate Lab, but your mother never called them by their names. To her, they were the Smart One and the Dumb One.
Once, when the six-year-old child she was tasked with caring for asked what her favorite animal was, she answered “panda” without even a pause. You were older, and it had never occurred to you to ask your mother such a question. “Have you ever seen one?” the child continued. “In real life?”
“No,” she responded. “Of course not.”
A whiskered doctor with a sagging belly delivers the news that your mother has pneumonia in both lungs and is at grave risk if she doesnt get a tracheostomy.
Frowning, he speculates that she may not survive the pneumonia, in any case. “Look at her,” he instructs you, his voice raised to be heard above the machines that hum out her life. “Her body is *wasted*.” That word: “wasted.” It is a word you want to eviscerate. A word as savage as “jiff.”
“So what do we do?” you ask.
“We wait.”
She has been placed on two kinds of antibiotics. You ask how long they will take to work.
“*If* they work,” he corrects you.
Once upon a time there lived a woman who wanted to collapse time and space. The plan was to exchange her present for her ailing mothers future. Little did she know that, if she did so, the two of them would merge into one ungainly creature, at once divided and reconstituted, and time would flow through both of them like water in a single stream.
But the stream. How strangely that stream would flow, not forward but in a loop, as the mother became the childs purpose.
One creature, disassembled into two bodies.
Pneumonia, bladder infections, kidney stones: predators that attack your mothers body with such frequency and ferocity that she is permanently entombed in the womb of her hospital room. The room around which you and a rotation of private aides orbit like crazed, frenetic birds.
You are thirty and have just begun writing for a living. Your mothers English is not good enough for her to read your magazine articles, but she is interested only in the efficiency of a summary, anyway. Always her first question: Do other people like it? By which she means the people on whom your survival depends.
[](https://www.newyorker.com/cartoon/a27483)
“Odd, since neither of us ever overfeeds her by even the smallest amount.”
Cartoon by Julia Suits
When you began writing about her, it did not feel voluntary.
But how it must have struck her: treachery, theft, shame manipulated and exploited.
The last time you see your mother alive, you lie. You tell her that you need to leave so that you can check on her belongings at the care facility, but, really, you are hoarding time to work on a story, time that will vanish once the next day begins. She nods. You dont make eye contact. You can never bear to look her in the eye when you are lying.
The last time you see your mother alive, you lie.
You lied, and she died.
Sunlight is a knife in the morning. There is a predatory quality to its intensity. Opening your eyes, you half expect to disappear. To be absorbed into the ether. When, instead, the world appears, you cannot trust it. You have never seen the world without your mother in it. So how can you be sure that you are seeing it or that this is, in fact, the same “it”?
Tell the story well enough, because you got to go to school while she scrubbed toilets.
Tell the story well enough so that time and space will collapse and the two of you will course in a single stream, like water. Tell the story well enough to abolish the end.
Tell the story well enough.
Tell the story well enough.
Tell the story well enough.
Tell the story well enough so that both babies will survive.
In your new apartment, you live among your mothers journals, her shoes, her clock, that strange hanging circle, long ago stopped. Sometimes you wonder if you made her up. Her voice in your head: an incessant pull of you to yourself, your most enduring tether.
Tell me a story, the mother inside you says.
What kind of story? you respond.
Something you read thats interesting but not too complicated. A story that I can understand.
What comes to mind is the story of the octopus.
The kind I used to cook for you? she asks.
Yes, you say. Like the kind you used to soft-boil for me and marinate with vinegar and sesame oil.
But you know animals dont interest me.
And why is that?
Because I am not a small child.
Right. I am the child, and I want to tell my mother a story about a mother. A mother who also happens to be an octopus.
She rolls her eyes. Oh, how she rolls her eyes.
Once upon a time there lived a mother octopus. For a long time, she roamed alone on the ocean floor, and then one day she became pregnant.
How did she become pregnant?
Not important to the story. Whats important is that she lays eggs only once in her life.
I hope she lays quality eggs, my mother says, grinning.
Well, there are a lot of them, tiny white beads that float free until she gathers them into clusters with her long arms and twists them into braids, which she hangs from the roof of an underwater cave. She is a very resourceful octopus, you see.
It sounds tedious, your mother says. Not unlike this story.
In the sea, there is no time for exhaustion, you continue, faster, trying to breathe it all out before she interrupts you again. Everything is cold, barren, and dark. Death swallows up whatever is not protected. To keep her eggs growing, the mother must bathe them constantly in new waves of water, nourishing them with oxygen and shielding them from predators and debris.
Do all the mothers do this? she asks. Or just this particular octopus?
All the octopuses who are mothers. They dont move or eat.
This is not the kind of story I had in mind, she remarks.
A good story moves. It glides and slithers like an octopus in a way that is unexpected yet inevitable.
Yes, I know that. You arent smarter than me, you know.
I have always known that.
Well, go on and finish it. What happens to the octopus? When does she get to eat? Will her babies survive?
The babies in the eggs get bigger and stronger. They are eager to begin their own lives. But they are also small. The mother knows this. She, too, has become small. She is weaker now. Without food and exercise, her tangle of arms goes dull and gray. Her eyes sink into their sockets.
I dont think I like where this is going.
Just bear with me a little longer, you say. When the eggs are about to hatch, the mother octopus thrusts her arms to help the babies emerge; she may throw herself rocks, or mutilate herself. She may consume parts of her own tentacles. This is her final act, you see. And then, with her last bit of strength, she uses her siphon to blow the eggs free. Those perfect miniatures of their mother, with tiny tentacles and an inborn sense of what they must—
No! she interrupts. I see what you are doing.
What? you respond. Jesus, what is it?
You are doing the predictable thing. Just what you say a story is not supposed to do.
I dont know how to tell it any other way, you say quietly.
Why dont you have a choice? she asks.
Stop it, stop it! you interject. I am talking to my dead mother in a made-up story. You would never use that word: “choice.”
But I am free to do whatever I want now, she says.
Now that you are dead?
Now that I live only in *your* story.
But my story *is* your story, you say. What am I without you?
A thing that moves, your mother answers. A thing that is alive. ♦
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Date: 2023-11-12
DocType: "WebClipping"
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Link: https://www.trulyadventure.us/a-school-of-their-own
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Parent:: [[@News|News]]
Read:: [[2023-11-15]]
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```button
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# A School of Their Own
![](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5a238ba10abd049ac5f4f02c/295efa1c-225b-4470-b3ce-ab96bd203bea/School+of+Their+Own_Cover.png)
## Fed up with her job and marriage, a mother walks out on her life and enrolls at her daughters college. when an unexpected threat arises, she will have to summon the power to stand up and fight the man.
![](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5a238ba10abd049ac5f4f02c/16759fe1-c340-4799-8597-2d3c3a226cef/School2.png)
**SHARON SNOW** was nearly 50 years old and a mother of three when she dropped off her youngest daughter, Elizabeth, at Texas Womans University in the fall of 1993. As she looked out across the rolling green campus in north Texas, with its famous redbud tree-lined walkways and red-brick buildings, she couldnt help but note the difference between TWU and the other (co-ed) schools her older daughters had decided to attend. The tour guides remembered her name, the folks in the administration building, she thought, treated her like an actual person and not just another number. And it seemed like women…. Well, they were just everywhere.
![](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5a238ba10abd049ac5f4f02c/627f11d2-85d9-455e-954d-c5f6cdf70135/School3.png)
In the classrooms (both as students and professors), in the residence halls, in the gym: everywhere you looked there were women doing what they wanted, unapologetically, and without a man behind them telling them what to do.
Women had never been the authority in Sharons family. A good, Christian girl from Fort Worth, she did what was expected of her after high school, marrying and starting a family. Though she reveled in being a mother, being a wife never suited her. Her husband was strict and urged her into a boring corporate desk job that she hated. Now, after 30 years, she stepped foot on campus and realized she wanted more—she wanted this.
A volunteer gig made her think she could be a good social worker, so she quietly investigated the program at TWU. Could she actually go back to school? It had been years since shed been in a classroom. And what about Elizabeth? Sharon was “scared to death” of what her daughter might think. As much as she ached for this new beginning, she didnt want to jeopardize Elizbeths experience.
It was Elizabeth, however, who encouraged her to take the leap and start her new journey. “She kept calling me and telling me what an amazing time she was having,” Sharon says. And so she finally admitted to her daughter what she had been thinking about: how she wanted to do some good, how she wanted to help people and be free from the suffocating life in the suburbs. Elizabeth was ecstatic.
In the Summer of 1994, right before Elizabeths sophomore year began, Sharon left the burbs, her husband and her job—all of them for good—and moved into a tiny one bedroom apartment across the street from campus. It smelled like mold, but she didnt care. It felt like she was finally home, in a place where she could be the silly, passionate and outrageous Texas woman she knew she was.
It was like a plot straight from a fish-out-of-water Hollywood movie: Elizabeth, the cool 19-year-old sophomore volleyball player, and her mom Sharon, the 47-year-old freshman social work student rediscovering herself. Sharon was Elizabeths number-one fan, attending all of her volleyball games, cheering her on side-by-side with friends who were twenty years her junior. She discovered a passion for poetry and performed regularly at open mic nights. Her new young friends were in awe of her, and she became a de facto maternal figure, shooting the shit and talking about sex and relationships while everyone passed around a joint.
“I was just out of a 30 year marriage, and for the first time in my life I could sleep with anyone I chose to, and I was very open about it,” she says. “It was a marvel to me. Sex could be just for sex. It could be fun. It was fun. I could be sexy and flirtatious.” Gone was the shy, scared housewife. “It was totally a rebirth.”
That rebirth came complete with a new mentor: Dawn Tawater, a graduate social work student in her late 20s, a mother of three, and a certified badass.
Once a teenage “dropout derelict” who gave birth to her first child at 16, Dawn had sicced Greenpeace on local governments, worked with civil rights leaders at the Dallas Peace Center, and thrown banners off interstates to protest the Gulf War. “I got thrown out of city hall so many times.” Fierce as hell and cuddly as a bag of nails, she had founded the Denton chapter of the National Organization of Women (NOW) while at TWU, where the group organized Take Back the Night marches, fought for a free speech area on campus, and worked with the NAACP to protest a prison where young black men were dying at alarming rates.
![](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5a238ba10abd049ac5f4f02c/fd4a6cbc-1401-4a4e-af24-478be1316a34/School4.png)
The university was an oasis. Initially conceived by the state as a place to produce the perfect wives and mothers, by the 60s it had become a haven for women like Sharon and Dawn who wanted more out of life and had a lot more to give. In the late 80s, TWU won a hard-fought battle against budget-conscious lawmakers who proposed the school might be merged with the larger co-ed school across town. In the afterglow, students like Dawn and Sharon thrived, thrilled to be surrounded by women who were eager to learn and break free from their strict conservative pasts. Sharons fears of feeling out of place melted away in the classroom where young mothers brought their infants to class without issue and listened intently when she raised her hand to speak. Dawn, meanwhile, continued her work, bolstering the ranks of NOW to fight injustices on and off campus. They had all found this place, the last public womens university in the country, where women were encouraged to meet their true potential.
Then one day a rumor began to circulate. Sharon shook her head when she heard, confused. She thought: Why would a man sue to get into TWU?
![](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5a238ba10abd049ac5f4f02c/cbc6c652-9606-4d6d-b4fa-4c10dab23b8c/page%2Bbreak%2Bmarker.png)
**STEVEN SERLING** didnt think it was fair. Not one bit. Why would TWUs courses be closed to simply on the basis of his gender?
The 35-year-old airline mechanic had been accepted as a nursing student, but when Serling was told he wouldnt be able to change his major or take classes in the liberal arts programs, he balked. Invoking a recent Supreme Court case in which a woman successfully sued for admittance into the Citadel, a public military college in South Carolina, Serling began to press his case. How was it OK for Shannon Faulkner to demand acceptance to an all-mens school and yet he couldnt do the same at a womens school? Steven wrote to state officials, including then-Governor Ann Richards, alleging TWUs women-only admissions policy was akin to reverse sexism, funded by taxpayers.
Serling seemed to be itching for a fight, and he came out in the press swinging.
“Everyone has special needs,” he said in a newspaper interview. “Women who feel the need for a special environment because they lack self-esteem need to get professional help.” In a *Houston Chronicle* story, he compared his woes to that of racial segregation. “Separate but equal wasnt appropriate in the South in the 1950s and it shouldnt be in Texas in the 1990s.”
Stevens letter-writing campaign caught the attention of state lawmakers, who not only vowed to bring up the issue at the next legislative session but also contacted the TWU Board of Regents directly to let them know the school was swimming in legal hot water and that the legislature would be forced to act. By December, with the next session only one month away, the TWU Board of Regents was feeling the heat.
Sharon was walking out of her womens studies class when her favorite professor pulled her aside and told her about a Board of Regents meeting being held that night. “You need to go to that meeting,” her professor insisted, “and get as many people there as you can.” Ordinarily the agenda for Board of Regents meetings was distributed to students well in advance. However, the editor of the school paper recalls the agenda was faxed to her office after the final issue of the semester had been sent to the press. “I got the gut feeling that they just didnt want a large crowd at that meeting,” shed later tell the *Dallas Observer*.
![](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5a238ba10abd049ac5f4f02c/c30af51e-56f0-4f3a-b103-986ee310abaa/Untitled+design+%286%29.png)
Dawn and Sharon feared men would trample all over TWU, taking precious resources that previously were exclusive to women, a rarity in society. Every student leadership position was held by a woman, every sports team was for womenhell, every scholarship was given to a woman. Men dominated all of these opportunities at practically every single Texas state school at the time. Why, students thought, did they need to take TWUs?
It wasnt just the schools identity, however, that was at risk. The threat of shutting down the school entirely was very real. Why would the state support two co-ed schools in one small college town? TWU had just fought off a campaign to merge with the University of North Texas by saying it was unique and special because it was a single sex institution. If that distinction went away, what would keep lawmakers from again recommending to shut it down to save money?
Sharon, tipped off by her professor, ran to her tiny apartment across the street from campus, opened up her phone book, and called everyone she knew. Once Dawn got word of the mystery meeting, she lit up her phone tree, full of NOW members, passing along word that something big was going down. That evening, on December 9, 1994, through the efforts of Sharon, Dawn and good-old-fashioned landlines, 200 students packed the ground floor of the Administrative Clock Tower. Upstairs, on the top floor, the Board of Regents gathered for its meeting.
Students began to trickle upstairs where they finally understood the gravity of the situation. With only a week left of classes in the semester, and with no input or debate, the Board of Regents was about to vote on one of the most consequential parts of TWUs identity.
Friends sent the message back downstairs, and the packed ocean of students, sitting body-to-body, holding hands, burst into tears. “Hell no, we wont go!” they began to chant. Others began to sing, flabbergasted that the rumors they had heard all semester were now becoming reality. Upstairs, students did their best to convince the Regents to keep the school single sex.
They didnt know it, but that ocean of students, rallied by Sharon and Dawn, were part of the gravitational pull that was creating the third-wave feminist movement. The movement built on the civil rights advances for women in the 60s and 70s but sought to be more intersectional, lifting up the voices of not only white, elite women, but also women of color and women from all economic backgrounds. TWU was the working womans university, the students argued, the last public womens university in the country, which offered affordable tuition to women across the country. Tuition at TWU in 1994 was around $1,200 a semester for an in-state, undergraduate student. Meanwhile, tuition at an elite, private womens college like Wellesley cost up to $9,000 a semester.
It didnt matter. The meeting was a formality. The public portion ended, and the crowd eventually dispersed. Sharon, Dawn and a handful of other students walked the five minutes to Dawns house, just off campus, to commiserate. The phone rang later that night with the official news: it wasnt even close. By a vote of 6-1, the school would officially begin accepting male students in all programs effective the fall of 1995.
A crushing weight settled on Sharon. It was a betrayal. A lesson from her womens studies class echoed in her mind. Perpetrators groom their targets by making them feel safe. They wait until no one is around to attack. It was happening right now, she thought. Had TWU groomed her? This was supposed to be her safe place, where her voice mattered, but now she wasnt so sure. All she knew was she had never been angrier. And now she felt she had the tools to do something about it.
![](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5a238ba10abd049ac5f4f02c/cbc6c652-9606-4d6d-b4fa-4c10dab23b8c/page%2Bbreak%2Bmarker.png)
**DAWNS PLACE,** a three-bedroom house, nestled right behind a TWU high-rise full of classrooms, was old, its white paint cracked and peeling. Its most distinguishing feature was a large concrete porch out front that connected to the living room via handsome French doors. It was the perfect place to hang out, smoke, listen to music, and maybe start a movement. “Everybody who was anybody in feminism, the second wave of the hippie movement, we all knew it all started and stopped at Dawns house,” says Tracey Elliott, a TWU and NOW alumna who described Dawn as a mix of Bob Dylan and the Black Panther party.
Shell-shocked at the Regents decision, Dawn, Sharon, Tracey and the other few women lit up their phone trees again. They werent done fighting. The next evening, students overflowed from inside Dawns home out onto her porch and front yard. They were starting a protest group, she said, and Protesting 101 with Professor Dawn was officially in session. They went over goals, what to wear to a protest, what your rights were if law enforcement harassed you, how to handle the media, and the basic strategies to keep the public pressure on the administration.
The students, many of whom had grown up in conservative households and had never been to a protest before, listened intently as Dawn spoke. “There I was,” Tracey says, “this girl who went to a redneck high school where everyone was wearing ropers and jeans, with the belt to match and all that, and suddenly Im in this world where Im surrounded by people listening to the Indigo Girls all day long and talking about all these issues, womens issues, and how we needed to be part of making a world a better place.”
A sheet of paper circulated as Dawn spoke. She told the group to write their names down if theyd be willing, if it ever got to that point, to be arrested. “I explained what civil disobedience was and that these people would have to be willing to go to jail,” she says. About 20 women signed up, including Sharon.
Dawn kept the sheet of names to herself and looked up at the crowd. The group would need a name and a mission to be their north star. After a quick vote, the Texas Womans University Preservation Society was officially born. Their mission? To preserve, uphold, and progress womens equality in all facets of society. Their first challenge? Saving their school.
![](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5a238ba10abd049ac5f4f02c/cbc6c652-9606-4d6d-b4fa-4c10dab23b8c/page%2Bbreak%2Bmarker.png)
**FINALS** were only a week away with the holiday break not far behind. Keeping up their momentum was critical. Like army ants at their colony, TWUPS members came and went through Dawns house at all hours of the day—the front door always unlocked for easy access. Members laid in the grass in the front yard painting signs for rallies. Inside, Dawns kitchen table was turned into a sewing station where sheets found at Goodwill were stitched together into 20-foot banners. Elsewhere, members talked strategy, did radio interviews with morning talk show hosts, and socialized while lounging on the front porch hammock. Two members even got on the phone second-wave feminist icon Gloria Stienem, who wished them luck with the fight.
When Dawn was home, it was a full house. She had just separated from her husband, a police officer in Dallas, and was the primary caregiver for her three kids, all under the age of 10. Gillian Williams, a TWU alumni and friend of Dawns, recalls playing with the youngsters, sipping on lemonade, and going over the groups plans. She had spent her time at TWU protesting the lack of women of color in their womens studies program, so she had her own experience getting the attention of the administration.
The night before the first rally, Dawn called Sharon and told her shed be the one to speak to the crowd. Sharon demurred, unsure of her abilities as a public speaker, but Dawn insisted. It was part of her plan to decentralize the power in the group. “I didnt want any of that patriarchal, hierarchical shit,” she says.
It was a complete 180 from the years of being silenced by her husband. She was in awe of Dawn, this woman with so much raw power inside of her. Dawn was unafraid. So unafraid, in fact, that shed cede her power to Sharon. What did Dawn see in her? Could she see it in herself? She knew she had a voice, and no matter how terrifying the prospect, it was time to use it.
The next day, clad in a custom-made white long-sleeve shirt with their name and logo (the female gender symbol) on the front and their slogan (“Texas Womans University - Keep it That Way!”) on the back, Sharon stood up in front of around 400 students and local media. She had stayed up all night working on her speech. In the front row she noticed her daughter Elizabeth. Breathing deeply, she opened her mouth and heard the words tumble out. Gone was the meek housewife. Sharon Snow had something important to say. When she was done, she looked at her daughter in the front row, who was crying. Sharon felt a wave of purpose and energy coursing through her. “This is power,” she thought.
![](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5a238ba10abd049ac5f4f02c/df223283-6f1b-41bb-b528-87a056e798b2/451777cb-b83d-46a7-a939-3dd1e620d4b6.png)
Courtesy of Rebeca Vanderburg
For a week the group held rallies, sit-ins and candlelight vigils across campus, giving speeches, waving their homemade signs, and chanting for the Board of Regents to reverse the vote. The Preservation Society organized a “girl-cott” of the bookstore, dressed up “Minerva,” a 15-foot-tall Pioneer Woman statue on campus, in a mourning black hood and cape, and sported their own matching black armbands.
But as the rallies continued, the crowds began to shrink, with fewer new faces showing up each time. Dawn and Sharon recognized the group wasnt growing and needed a new way to get their message out. “I remember thinking we needed more allies and more voices,” another TWUPS member told me. It was time for some civil disobedience.
Memories are hazy, but members recall surreptitiously creeping through campus at night, dressed in black, with flashlights, rope and banners in hand. Supportive faculty and buildings with unminded locks gained them access to rooftops and various landings on campus where TWUPS members tied enormous 20-foot banners with messages of resistance to coeducation. *BETRAYED* screamed one dangling from a 21-story residence tower. *REVERSE THE VOTE* read another one, successfully unfurled off a classroom building after a 70-year-old visiting professor caught the students trying to use a credit card to jimmy a door and let them in with his own key. For the young women, all of the undercover operations and sneaking around was exhilarating. Rebeca Vanderbug, one of the younger students in the group, remembers exactly how it felt to her: “It was like Mission Impossible.’”
![](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5a238ba10abd049ac5f4f02c/cbc6c652-9606-4d6d-b4fa-4c10dab23b8c/page%2Bbreak%2Bmarker.png)
**ROBIN DEISHER** and Amy Nickum, two young Preservation Society members, pressed their bodies to the floor, frozen, as a TWU police cruiser slowly passed beneath them. The pedestrian bridge arching over the main artery of campus had for years greeted students and visitors with its stately letters spelling out the name of the university. Tonight, if they werent caught, that would change.
Amy had no fear. She knew she wasnt doing anything wrong. She had never been a bad kid, never stolen anything or defaced property before, especially not at TWU. The school was like a second home to her. As a kid shed spend hours at the chapel on campus and at the library while her mother completed her PhD. Later, when her mother returned as a professor, it was a no-brainer where Amy would attend college. And so, when the Board of Regents and the likes of Steven Serling were threatening to take her home away, Amy knew what she had to do. “I was going to push back,” she told me. “Hard.”
When the coast was clear, Robin and Amy got back to work. They reached down, their arms and heads poking out on either side between the guardrails, and pried off what they had come for. Around the corner, Sharons daughter, Elizabeth, waited in the getaway car.
Students and faculty the next morning were left agog when they spotted the duos handiwork. “It was all over campus, all anyone could talk about!” says Dr. Linda Marshall, Amys mother. “Everyone woke up and saw the bridge and said The W and the O are missing! It says Texas Mans University!’”
![](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5a238ba10abd049ac5f4f02c/b16c9862-f71c-4dcd-b3ac-94ce7fe68fef/School7.png)
Deborah Bono/Courtesy of the Denton Public Library
![](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5a238ba10abd049ac5f4f02c/cbc6c652-9606-4d6d-b4fa-4c10dab23b8c/page%2Bbreak%2Bmarker.png)
**THE OLD GUARD** was not pleased. The mostly traditional and conservative members of the TWU Alumni Association generally believed in the Preservation Society and their mission but were horrified by the escalating tactics. They thought fighting the Regents in the courtroom and out of the eyes of the press was the more appropriate channel to enact change. The banners, bridge prank and slogans written in shoe polish all over campus windows rankled the older women. To them, the Preservation Society was embarrassing and making their school ugly.
Excoriating the increasing militancy of the protests, the alumni formed a group with straight and narrow student leaders and faculty members who together filed a lawsuit against the Board of Regents in an effort to reverse the vote. Even Sharon, who could operate both as a rebel and as a level-headed student, was invited to sign on the lawsuit. Though she maintained her allegiance to TWUPS, she also joined the alumni-led group, signing onto the lawsuit to work the “proper channels” and keep tabs on their efforts. The group argued the Board had violated the Texas Open Meetings Act by not giving the community sufficient notice for a meeting that should have been open to the public. The group also argued that since TWU was chartered by the state legislature as a womens university, only the legislature, and not the Board, had the authority to change its founding mission of being a school for women.
Dawn, through her experience as a radical protestor, knew that asking politely rarely effected change.
“The alumni basically had that old-school mindset that we have to be all please-and-thank-you route with this thing,” says Tracey. “Dawn basically said, no, were going to take the fuck-you route, and that was never going to jive with women who went to TWU in the 70s. We were really fighting, and they were not. They were handbag clutchers, and we were not.” Just as they had suspected, winter break killed a lot of momentum for the Preservation Society. The rallies had flamed out and the banners never flew for longer than a day, ripped up and dumped in the free speech area Dawn had procured for the school in years prior. The group needed to change course. “If theyre not gonna let us maintain a symbolic presence,” she asked Sharon, “what do we do?”
Dawn knew they needed something big and splashy, something that would look great on the evening news and in the papers.
Sharon poured some coffee while Dawn explained. “Do you remember that Kevin Costner movie?” Dawn asked, not quite recalling 1989s “Field of Dreams.” “If you build it,” she said, reciting the famous line, “they will come.”
![](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5a238ba10abd049ac5f4f02c/e8da51ca-7cc4-4a75-8f1b-79bdb3721b97/Untitled+design+%2812%29.png)
A sign at tent city. Courtesy of Rebecca Vanderburg.
“What if we build a tent city?” Dawn asked. It would be their biggest and boldest act of civil disobedience yet. They would literally set up a village of tents on campus and live out of them for as long as they needed, talking to curious lookie-loos, answering questions from students and the media, and, most importantly, applying pressure on the University. Sharons eyes lit up with excitement. “Oh my God,” she said. “I love you!”
With a new project at hand, the group sprung back to life as students returned from winter break. Flyers with the ominous Kevin Costner phrase covered the school and downtown area, piquing the interest of community members. “The next day people were saying Well what are you going to build? Whats going on?’” Sharon recalls. “It was very cinematic.” The group rounded up all the tents they could find, even pilfering through their families camping gear to gather what they needed and got ready to set up their tent city.
At 6:30 a.m. in late January 1995, members gathered at Dawns house, their cars packed with tents. They talked over their strategy: first, park the cars in the visitors lot, close to the target. Hubbard Lawn was the center of campus and stretched from the library to the student union, the perfect location for maximum exposure. Next, scramble out and set up the tents as fast as possible. Finally, make a scene when administrators and Public Safety show up to try and shut them down.
![](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5a238ba10abd049ac5f4f02c/be895968-c217-4bd2-91f2-154f9a8cac1f/Untitled+design+%2811%29.png)
A view of tent city. Courtesy of Rebecca Vanderburg.
The drive to campus only took one minute, but it was indelible for Sharon, the most profound moment of her life. As they drove past quiet houses and empty streets, she thought, “I cant do this. I cant do this. My momma didnt raise me to do this.” She was a church-going little kid, not a revolutionary. But as the car pulled up to the center of campus, she thought of herself as something more. A person who believed in women. Someone who could get up in front of hundreds of people and give an impassioned speech. A person with a voice and a cause that mattered. She was at a crossroads. Would she be the little kid in the white patent leather shoes? Or would she be the woman who stood up for what she believed in?
She opened the car door and, as her feet hit the ground, she knew.
The members flew out of the cars, their tents and other supplies in hand. Tents went up quickly along with handmade signs and a makeshift flagpole, proclaiming their territory and mission. About 15 tents in total were erected. Then…nothing.
“We sat around all day,” recalls Dawn. “Like, where are the cops? Where are the pigs? Wheres the fuzz?”
The women had assumed once the school awoke DPS would be immediately alerted and Preservation Nation would be stormed and taken down. Instead, administrators let the scene play out. “Theyd send pizza out,” Robin says, “and Dawn would say Dont eat it! Theyre trying to win your affection! We didnt accept anything.”
Music from Tracy Chapman and Janis Ian filled the air as members painted tents with peace signs and the female symbol. A large white walk-in tent was dubbed “The White House.” Members brought their dogs and kids to play hacky sack, kick ball, dance, and read together. Saul Alinskys “Rules for Radicals” was one of Dawns favorites.
For many of the members, tent city was their new home. “I would wake up at tent city, go home to eat, go to class, and then just come back,” remembers Jennifer Foreman. “My life didnt stop, it was just like, OK, now I live in a tent.” Not every member slept at tent city, but for those who did, the freezing nights were the hardest to endure. They set up a trash can fire to keep warm, but DPS, who frequently patrolled the area, quickly took it down. With no electrical outlets, campers turned to propane heaters for warmth.
![](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5a238ba10abd049ac5f4f02c/4062e0e3-0711-48fd-9a2f-a337c1efc8b8/School6.png)
Beyond students who would visit for questions, the group fielded media from all over, including a young Scott Pelley, who at the time was assigned in Dallas for CBS. The *Associated Press*, *The New York Times*, *The Chronicle of Higher Education*, and the local NPR affiliate KERA all wanted access. “The Battle of the Sexes,” as one headline put it, now had a headquarters.
Perhaps the most endearing of their visitors was a group of elderly women who had driven across the state in an Oldsmobile to drop off cookies and chat, along with an employee over at the local art house theater, who brought leftover popcorn every night.
Other visitors, however, were less kind. One night, the women were jolted awake after a car parked nearby turned on their high beams and blasted Pink Floyds “Dirty Woman.” On another occassion, someone else drove by, yelled a homophobic slur, and threw a bottle at one of the few male Preservation Society members—a husband whose wife was a student at TWU and TWUPS member. “I had never been called a dyke before!” he recalled years later.
Men piled into pickup trucks and mooned the group while shouting they were a bunch of cunts and whores. Sharon and her friends laughed the assaults off, even more sure of their mission to keep men like these out of TWU. “What did they think they were going to do?” Sharon says. “We had just built a city out of tents in the middle of the campus. Were they going to scare us by calling us cunts? Not likely.”
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**TWELVE DAYS** after Preservation Nation was erected, the few students who had braved the 25 degree weather woke up with a start. The smell of smoke wafted through the quiet, frigid night.
A fire was burning.
A 14-year-old boy, the son of a member who was a single mother, had kicked over a space heater while doing his homework, starting a small fire that burned through the plastic roof of his tent. There were only 3 or 4 people at tent city on this night because of the cold. Rebeca Vanderburg was one of the students there. “It was like, everybody up and out of their tents,” she says, “and oh my God, oh my God.”
Dawn and Sharon had questioned whether they should allow kids to spend the night at tent city, especially on school nights, but decided they didnt want to alienate members who were single mothers. Fearing the ire of his mother more than a potential blaze, the boy used his hands to pat out the fire, burning himself in the process.
Dawn knew they had been rankling administrators and members of the alumni-led lawsuit group. The chairwoman of the alumni group, Dr. Bettye Myers, had been by tent city earlier in the week and had a confrontation with Dawn, yelling at her to tell everyone to take down tent city and leave. Dawn refused.
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In the hours after the fire, administrators finally made their move and demanded tent city be shut down. They said it was no longer a safe environment. The Preservation Society was told they could either take their things and go or tent city would be taken by force. “Bettye stomped out of here and had them do this to us,” Dawn told the Denton Record Chronicle in 1995. “This has nothing to do with safety. The fire was put out with a fire extinguisher. The boy was taken to a doctor and he only suffered minor burns.” It didnt matter.
Everything was coming to a head.
Word spread from tent city about the news, and a small group retreated to Dawns house. Dawn pulled out the list of the 20 students who said they were willing to get arrested back when the group was formed. Six were standing in front of her. “This is the moment,” Dawn said. Sharons daughter Elizabeth, and her roommate Jennifer, wiped the tears from their eyes and found their conviction. Rebecca, sitting on the driveway, worried what her mom and stepdad were going to think when she told them she was arrested. Amy, who had helped snatch the “WO” off the campus bridge, was scared, but her conscience was clear. If she was going to have something on her record, this is what she wanted it for. They decided to get into Robins tent, “The White House,” since it was the largest, and not move. Six young women, all between the ages of 18 and 20, would take the final stand for the Preservation Society.
Afraid her ex-husband might take her kids away, Dawn couldnt join them. Instead, she got on the phone and contacted a lawyer to help free the girls after the conflict.
For Elizabeth, before any arrests were made, she knew she had to call her mom.
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**SHARON HUNG UP** the phone at the NordicTrack store where she worked with fellow TWUPS member Robin. “Theyre getting arrested in your tent!” she yelled to her.
Robin perked up as Sharon raced out of the store. “Good, get in there!”
Back at TWU, the six young women made it to “The White House” and held hands in a circle as day made way to evening. They could hear DPS and campus custodial crews tearing down Preservation Nation around them, throwing out the tents they had collected and tearing down their flagpole. Finally, the White House was the only tent left. Time slowed down as the voices of DPS officers began getting louder and louder, telling them to come out. Jennifer remembers their condescending voices well. “Do you girls really want to get in trouble for this?” “We know youre good girls and just want to come out.”
Rebecca remembers DPS finally threatening the group with pepper spray. “My memory is \[they said\] you can either come out of this tent or were gonna pepper spray you. And so were like, I think were not going to get pepper sprayed and then they told us we were under arrest and for us to sit down.”
Preservation Nation had fallen. The six students hooked arms and walked together as DPS escorted them to the campus station, a mix of uncertainty and dread running through them all. This was Texas in 1995, and not Dallas or Houston, but a small speck of a college town closer to Oklahoma than Austin. Before their time at TWU, before they were inspired by Dawn and all of her fuck-the-man bravado, they would never have dreamed of putting themselves in a situation where they could be arrested. For them, they might as well have been TWUs Most Wanted.
They were put at ease when they found Dawn and a lawyer at the station, ready to fight. “There were no handcuffs or bars or anything,” Elizabeth says. “The lawyer came in and was like, dont freak out,” Jennifer says. “Theyre full of shit, this is not a big deal, dont be scared by these assholes.” In the end, DPS scolded the group and said theyd be reprimanded by the administration at a later date.
By the time Sharon arrived, the young women were free, crying and hugging each other. The shy conservative girls whod never even considered talking back to authority were long gone. Even though the school was still on track for coeducation, they had at least tried to do something and let administrators know how important it was that there was a school in Texas that let women fight back. “It felt like we had done something big in at least fighting until the last second and feeling some celebration in that,” Jennifer says. “We felt like we won because we didnt give up.”
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**IN THE END** the administration got its way — but not without an embarrassing fight with a motivated cross section of its student body.
The alumni lawsuit also bore no fruit. In 1996, a judge finally ruled that the Board of Regents was within its powers when it voted to make the school co-ed. That same year, however, Lenni Lissberger, the editor of the student newspaper at the time, won a battle to legally make the school more transparent about its business operations. Still fuming that the school had gotten away with the short notice about the regents meeting, she worked with lawyers and lawmakers to draft a bill that requires universities to post notice of their meetings in the county where said meetings will take place, not just in Austin, as the law had previously stated. The bill passed unanimously and is still Texas state law, impacting the entire spectrum of issues at state-funded universities, including those that impact women on campus.
Ironically, and perhaps aided by the powerful showing of the group Dawn and Sharon helped lead, opening its doors to men indirectly led to the creation of TWUs masters degree program in womens studies, the first of its kind in the state. Long in gestation, the passion for keeping TWU a place “primarily for women” was the fuel administrators needed to make the program a reality. The same year the school became co-ed, it also began requiring all students to take a womens studies course, a requirement students must still fulfill before graduating.
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Steven Serling, the would-be nursing student who had cried reverse sexism, was no doubt aware of the frenzy he inspired. Any preliminary exuberance might well have turned to panic as the dedication of the resistance intensified. Despite technically winning his campaign, Serling never showed up for his first class and was never seen on campus again.
In the Fall of 1994, when the Preservation Society was formed, TWU had just over 10,000 students. Today, it has over 16,000, an all-time high. The school still only has womens sports teams, and the male population has never risen over 10 percent of the student body. I graduated from TWU in 2010, and, as a cisgendered man, I am keenly aware of how complicated my membership is in the long history of an institution created as a space for women.
So why go to a womens college today, especially one that isnt even exclusively for women? Preservation Society member Christina Krause Marks told me in anticipation of our conversation that she thought about the people she works with as a therapist who dont fit so neatly into the male/female construct. “The whole nonbinary perspective has really turned this all on its ear.” She says its more important to focus on questioning power structures rather than centralizing the conversation around a she-versus-he scenario, which excludes students that dont fit that categorization. Back in 1995, she says, “Trans women were not part of the conversation, you know? There are parts of pro-women history that Im not proud of the more I learn about it.”
For most of the Preservation Society members I spoke to, TWU is a happy memory to revisit. I spoke over the phone with Elizabeth, now a teacher and musician living just outside Austin, with her children popping in occasionally, wondering what was keeping their mom from the dinner table. Sharon pursued her dream of influencing large groups of people and became a professor, first at Virginia Tech and later at the University of Vermont. “Ive told my students over and over again, you can take over the administration building. Just do it. Just go do it!” Dawn, meanwhile, teaches sociology at Austin Community College, the inkwell of her TWU memories a mix of pride and sadness. “I have to tell you my impression is that Im sort of the Voldemort of TWU,” she told me the first time we spoke back in 2019, hurt that the school hadnt ever celebrated the work of the Preservation Society. She presumes it is because shed been (and still is) critical of the school and is unwilling to dull her edge. “They want to keep things nice, sweet and civil,” she says, a wry smile on her face. “Im not for the purge or anything like that, but theres a time and a place.”
Its easy to see what Dawn sees—a battle lost and a group largely forgotten by a university now only primarily for women. But if you look closer, its also easy to see the threads of the Preservation Societys legacy that have stitched together a thriving university.
In May 2021, TWU celebrated as the Texas Legislature passed legislation establishing TWU as its very own university system, not unlike other state schools who have a main campus and numerous satellites. In addition to the expansion of operations across their three campuses, perhaps this new system cements TWUs status as a school whose existence isnt up for debate any longer. The TWU system is the nations first and only university system with a focus on women.
![](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5a238ba10abd049ac5f4f02c/f2d26ed2-5a12-4087-b638-1d18241f3e5b/School1.png)
For a new generation of bright minds and powerful voices, Texas Womans University, once again, has been reborn.
![](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5a238ba10abd049ac5f4f02c/a6c7e6cc-3ea5-42cc-9116-e5216b31de34/page%2Bbreak%2Bmarker.png)
*LUIS RENDON* Originally from South Texas, Luis G. Rendon is a journalist living in New York City. He writes about Tejano food and culture for Texas Monthly and Texas Highways.
For all rights inquiries, email team@trulyadventure.us.
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# A Small-Town Paper Lands a Very Big Story
Listen to this article.
Bruce Willingham, fifty-two years a newspaperman, owns and publishes the McCurtain *Gazette,* in McCurtain County, Oklahoma, a rolling sweep of timber and lakes that forms the southeastern corner of the state. McCurtain County is geographically larger than Rhode Island and less populous than the average Taylor Swift concert. Thirty-one thousand people live there; forty-four hundred buy the *Gazette*, which has been in print since 1905, before statehood. At that time, the paper was known as the Idabel *Signal*, referring to the county seat. An early masthead proclaimed “*INDIAN TERRITORY, CHOCTAW NATION*.”
Willingham bought the newspaper in 1988, with his wife, Gwen, who gave up a nursing career to become the *Gazettes* accountant. They operate out of a storefront office in downtown Idabel, between a package-shipping business and a pawnshop. The staff parks out back, within sight of an old Frisco railway station, and enters through the “morgue,” where the bound archives are kept. Until recently, no one had reason to lock the door during the day.
Three days a week (five, before the pandemic), readers can find the latest on rodeo queens, school cafeteria menus, hardwood-mill closings, heat advisories. Some headlines: “Large Cat Sighted in Idabel,” “Two of States Three Master Bladesmiths Live Here,” “Local Singing Group Enjoys Tuesdays.” Anyone whos been cited for speeding, charged with a misdemeanor, applied for a marriage license, or filed for divorce will see his or her name listed in the “District Court Report.” In Willinghams clutterbucket of an office, a hulking microfiche machine sits alongside his desktop computer amid lunar levels of dust; he uses the machine to unearth and reprint front pages from long ago. In 2017, he transported readers to 1934 via a banner headline: “*NEGRO SLAYER OF WHITE MAN KILLED*.” The area has long been stuck with the nickname Little Dixie.
*Gazette* articles can be shorter than recipes, and what they may lack in detail, context, and occasionally accuracy, they make up for by existing at all. The paper does more than probe the past or keep tabs on the local felines. “Weve investigated county officials *a lot*,” Willingham, who is sixty-eight, said the other day. The *Gazette* exposed a county treasurer who allowed elected officials to avoid penalties for paying their property taxes late, and a utilities company that gouged poor customers while lavishing its executives with gifts. “To most people, its Mickey Mouse stuff,” Willingham told me. “But the problem is, if you let them get away with it, it gets worse and worse and worse.”
[](https://www.newyorker.com/cartoon/a27929)
“And how long till they start saying the Great after my name?”
Cartoon by Maddie Dai
The Willinghams oldest son, Chris, and his wife, Angie, work at the *Gazette*, too. They moved to Idabel from Oklahoma City in the spring of 2005, not long after graduating from college. Angie became an editor, and Chris covered what is known in the daily-news business as cops and courts. Absurdity often made the front page—a five-m.p.h. police “chase” through town, a wayward snake. Three times in one year, the paper wrote about assaults in which the weapon was chicken and dumplings. McCurtain County, which once led the state in homicides, also produces more sinister blotter items: a man cashed his dead mothers Social Security checks for more than a year; a man killed a woman with a hunting bow and two arrows; a man raped a woman in front of her baby.
In a small town, a dogged reporter is inevitably an unpopular one. It isnt easy to write about an old friends felony drug charge, knowing that youre going to see him at church. When Chris was a teen-ager, his father twice put *him* in the paper, for the misdemeanors of stealing beer, with buddies, at a grocery store where one of them worked, and parking illegally—probably with those same buddies, definitely with beer—on a back-road bridge, over a good fishing hole.
Chris has a wired earnestness and a voice that carries. Listening to a crime victims story, he might boom, “*Gollll-ly!*” Among law-enforcement sources, “Chris was respected because he always asked questions about how the system works, about proper procedure,” an officer said. Certain cops admired his willingness to pursue uncomfortable truths even if those truths involved one of their own. “If I was to do something wrong—on purpose, on accident—Chris Willingham one hundred per cent would write my butt in the paper, on the front page, in bold letters,” another officer, who has known him for more than a decade, told me.
In the summer of 2021, Chris heard that there were morale problems within the McCurtain County Sheriffs Office. The sheriff, Kevin Clardy, who has woolly eyebrows and a mustache, and often wears a cowboy hat, had just started his second term. The first one had gone smoothly, but now, according to some colleagues, Clardy appeared to be playing favorites.
The current discord stemmed from two recent promotions. Clardy had brought in Larry Hendrix, a former deputy from another county, and, despite what some considered to be weak investigative skills, elevated him to undersheriff—second-in-command. Clardy had also hired Alicia Manning, who had taken up law enforcement only recently, in her forties. Rookies typically start out on patrol, but Clardy made Manning an investigator. Then he named her captain, a newly created position, from which she oversaw the departments two dozen or so deputies and managed cases involving violence against women and children. Co-workers were dismayed to see someone with so little experience rise that quickly to the third most powerful rank. “Never patrolled one night, never patrolled one day, in any law-enforcement aspect, anywhere in her life, and youre gonna bring her in and stick her in high crimes?” one officer who worked with her told me.
Chris was sitting on a tip that Clardy favored Manning because the two were having an affair. Then, around Thanksgiving, 2021, employees at the county jail, whose board is chaired by the sheriff, started getting fired, and quitting. The first to go was the jails secretary, who had worked there for twenty-six years. The jails administrator resigned on the spot rather than carry out the termination; the secretarys husband, the jails longtime handyman, quit, too. When Chris interviewed Clardy about the unusual spate of departures, the sheriff pointed out that employment in Oklahoma is at will. “It is what it is,” he said. In response to a question about nepotism, involving the temporary promotion of his stepdaughters husband, Clardy revealed that he had been divorced for a few months and separated for more than a year. Chris asked, “Are you and Alicia having sex?” Clardy repeatedly said no, insisting, “Were good friends. Me and Larrys good friends, but Im not having sex with Larry, either.”
Meanwhile, someone had sent Chris photographs of the departments evidence room, which resembled a hoarders nest. The mess invited speculation about tainted case material. In a front-page story, branded “first of a series,” the *Gazette* printed the images, along with the news that Hendrix and Manning were warning deputies to stop all the “backdoor talk.” The sheriff told staffers that anyone who spoke to the *Gazette* would be fired.
Manning has thick, ash-streaked hair, a direct manner, and what seems to be an unwavering loyalty to Clardy. She offered to help him flush out the leakers, and told another colleague that she wanted to obtain search warrants for cell phones belonging to deputies. When Chris heard that Manning wanted to confiscate *his* phone, he called the Oklahoma Press Association—and a lawyer. (Oklahoma has a shield law, passed in the seventies, which is designed to protect journalists sources.) The lawyer advised Chris to leave his phone behind whenever he went to the sheriffs department. Angie was prepared to remotely wipe the device if Chris ever lost possession of it.
John Jones, a narcotics detective in his late twenties, cautioned Manning against abusing her authority. Jones was the sheriffs most prolific investigator, regarded as a forthright and talented young officer—a “velociraptor,” according to one peer. He had documented the presence of the Sinaloa cartel in McCurtain County, describing meth smuggled from Mexico in shipments of pencils, and cash laundered through local casinos. Jones had filed hundreds of cases between 2019 and most of 2021, compared with a couple of dozen by Manning and Hendrix combined. The *Gazette* reported that, on December 1st—days after confronting Manning—Jones was bumped down to patrol. The next day, he quit.
Within the week, Hendrix fired the departments second most productive investigator, Devin Black. An experienced detective in his late thirties, Black had just recovered nearly a million dollars worth of stolen tractors and construction equipment, a big deal in a county whose economy depends on agriculture and tourism. (At Broken Bow Lake, north of Idabel, newcomers are building hundreds of luxury cabins in Hochatown, a resort area known as the Hamptons of Dallas-Fort Worth.) Black said nothing publicly after his departure, but Jones published an open letter in the *Gazette*, accusing Hendrix of neglecting the case of a woman who said that she was raped at gunpoint during a home invasion. The woman told Jones that she had been restrained with duct tape during the attack, and that the tape might still be at her house. Hendrix, Jones wrote, “never followed up or even reached out to the woman again.” Curtis Fields, a jail employee who had recently been fired, got a letter of his own published in the *Gazette*. He wrote that the sheriffs “maladministration” was “flat-out embarrassing to our entire county,” and, worse, put “many cases at risk.”
Around this time, Hendrix was moved over to run the jail, and Clardy hired Alicia Mannings older brother, Mike, to be the new undersheriff. Mike, who had long worked part time as a local law-enforcement officer, owned IN-Sight Technologies, a contractor that provided CCTV, security, and I.T. services to the county, including the sheriffs department. The Willinghams observed that his new position created a conflict of interest. In late December, the day after Mikes appointment, Chris and Bruce went to ask him about it. Mike said that he had resigned as IN-Sights C.E.O. that very day and, after some prodding, acknowledged that he had transferred ownership of the company—to his wife. He assured the Willinghams that IN-Sights business with McCurtain County was “minuscule.” According to records that I requested from the county clerk, McCurtain County has issued at least two hundred and thirty-nine thousand dollars in purchase orders to the company since 2016. The county commissioners have authorized at least eighty thousand dollars in payments to IN-Sight since Mike became undersheriff.
Mike urged the Willinghams to focus on more important issues. When he said, “Im not here to be a whipping post, because theres a lot of crime going on right now,” Chris replied, “Oh, yeah, I agree.” The undersheriff claimed to have no problem with journalists, saying, “Im a constitutional guy.”
State “sunshine” laws require government officials to do the peoples business in public: most records must be accessible to anyone who wishes to see them, and certain meetings must be open to anyone who would like to attend. Bruce Willingham once wrote, “We are aggressive about protecting the publics access to records and meetings, because we have found that if we dont insist on both, often no one else will.” The Center for Public Integrity grades each state on the quality of its open-government statutes and practices. At last check, Oklahoma, along with ten other states, got an F.
In January, 2022, Chris noticed a discrepancy between the number of crimes listed in the sheriffs logbook and the correlating reports made available to him. Whereas he once saw thirty to forty reports per week, he now saw fewer than twenty. “The ones that I get are like loose cattle on somebodys land, all very minor stuff,” he told me. He often didnt find out about serious crime until it was being prosecuted. In his next article, he wrote that fifty-three reports were missing, including information about “a shooting, a rape, an elementary school teacher being unknowingly given marijuana cookies by a student and a deputy allegedly shooting out the tires” of a car. The headline was “*Sheriff Regularly Breaking Law Now*.”
Two weeks later, the sheriffs department landed back on page 1 after four felons climbed through the roof of the jail, descended a radio tower, and fled—the first escape in twenty-three years. Chris reported that prisoners had been sneaking out of the jail throughout the winter to pick up “drugs, cell phones and beer” at a nearby convenience store.
Three of the escapees were still at large when, late one Saturday night in February, Alyssa Walker-Donaldson, a former Miss McCurtain County, vanished after leaving a bar in Hochatown. When the sheriffs department did not appear to be exacting in its search, volunteers mounted their own. It was a civilian in a borrowed Cessna who spotted Walker-Donaldsons white S.U.V. at the bottom of Broken Bow Lake. An autopsy showed that she had suffered acute intoxication by alcohol and drowned in what was described as an accident. The findings failed to fully explain how Walker-Donaldson, who was twenty-four, wound up in the water, miles from where she was supposed to be, near a boat ramp at the end of a winding road. “Even the U.P.S. man cant get down there,” Walker-Donaldsons mother, Carla Giddens, told me. Giddens wondered why all five buttons on her daughters high-rise jeans were undone, and why her shirt was pushed above her bra. She told a local TV station, “Nothing was handled right when it came to her.” Giddens suspected that the sheriffs disappointing search could be attributed to the fact that her daughter was Black and Choctaw. (She has since called for a new investigation.)
Not long after that, the sheriffs department responded to a disturbance at a roadside deli. A deputy, Matt Kasbaum, arrived to find a man hogtied on the pavement; witnesses, who said that the man had broken a door and was trying to enter peoples vehicles, had trussed him with cord. “Well, this is interesting,” Kasbaum remarked. He handcuffed the man, Bobby Barrick, who was forty-five, then cut loose the cord and placed him in the back seat of a patrol unit. An E.M.S. crew arrived to examine Barrick. “Hes doped up *hard*,” Kasbaum warned. When he opened the door, Barrick tried to kick his way out, screaming “Help me!” and “Theyre gonna kill me!” As officers subdued him, Barrick lost consciousness. Several days later, he died at a hospital in Texas.
The public initially knew little of this because the sheriff refused to release information, on the ground that Barrick belonged to the Choctaw Nation and therefore the arrest fell under the jurisdiction of tribal police. The Willinghams turned to the Reporters Committee for Freedom of the Press, a nonprofit, headquartered in Washington, D.C., that provides pro-bono legal services to journalists. (The Reporters Committee has also assisted *The New Yorker*.) The organization had recently assigned a staff attorney to Oklahoma, an indication of how difficult it is to pry information from public officials there. Its attorneys helped the *Gazette* sue for access to case documents; the paper then reported that Kasbaum had tased Barrick three times on his bare hip bone. Barricks widow filed a lawsuit, alleging that the taser was not registered with the sheriffs department and that deputies had not been trained to use it. The suit also alleged that Kasbaum and other officers had turned off their lapel cameras during the encounter and put “significant pressure on Barricks back while he was in a face-down prone position and handcuffed.” Kasbaum, who denied the allegations, left the force. The *Gazette* reported that the F.B.I. and the Oklahoma State Bureau of Investigation were looking into the death.
Chris and Angie got married soon after joining the *Gazette*. By the time Chris began publishing his series on the sheriffs department, they were in their late thirties, with small children, two dogs, and a house on a golf course. They once had a bluegrass band, Succotash, in which Angie played Dobro and Chris played everything, mainly fiddle. He taught music lessons and laid down tracks for clients at his in-home studio. Angie founded McCurtain Mosaics, working with cut glass. The couple, who never intended to become journalists, suppressed the occasional urge to leave the *Gazette*, knowing that they would be hard to replace. Bruce lamented, “Everybody wants to work in the big city.”
Five days a week, in the newsroom, Chris and Angie sit in high-walled cubicles, just outside Bruces office. The *Gazettes* other full-time reporters include Bob West, who is eighty-one and has worked at the paper for decades. An ardent chronicler of museum events, local schools, and the weather, West is also known, affectionately, as the staffer most likely to leave his car running, with the windows down, in the rain, or to arrive at work with his toothbrush in his shirt pocket. He once leaned on his keyboard and accidentally deleted the newspapers digital Rolodex. One afternoon in May, he ambled over to Angies desk, where the Willinghams and I were talking, and announced, “Hail, thunderstorms, damaging winds!” A storm was coming.
Bruce and Gwen Willingham own commercial real estate, and they rent several cabins to vacationers in Hochatown. Chris said, “If we didnt have tourism to fall back on, we couldnt run the newspaper. The newspaper *loses* money.” An annual subscription costs seventy-one bucks; the rack price is fifty cents on weekdays, seventy-five on the weekend. During the pandemic, the Willinghams reduced both the publishing schedule and the size of the broadsheet, to avoid layoffs. The papers receptionist, who is in her sixties, has worked there since she was a teen-ager; a former pressman, who also started in his teens, left in his nineties, when his doctor demanded that he retire. In twenty-five paces, a staffer can traverse the distance between the newsroom and the printing press—the *Gazette* is one of the few American newspapers that still publish on-site, or at all. Since 2005, more than one in four papers across the country have closed; according to the Medill School of Journalism, at Northwestern University, two-thirds of U.S. counties dont have a daily paper. When Chris leads tours for elementary-school students, he schedules them for afternoons when theres a print run, though he isnt one to preach about journalisms vital role in a democracy. Hes more likely to jiggle one of the thin metal printing plates, to demonstrate how stagehands mimic thunder.
As the Walker-Donaldson case unfolded, Chris got a tip that the sheriff used meth and had been “tweaking” during the search for her. Bruce asked the county commissioners to require Clardy to submit to a drug test. Urinalysis wasnt good enough—the *Gazette* wanted a hair-follicle analysis, which has a much wider detection window. The sheriff peed in a cup. Promptly, prominently, the *Gazette* reported the results, which were negative, but noted that Clardy had declined the more comprehensive test.
“This has to stop!” the sheriff posted on the departments Facebook page. Complaining about “the repeated attacks on law enforcement,” he wrote, “We have a job to do and that is to protect people. We cant cater to the newspaper or social media every day of the week.” Clardy blamed the *Gazettes* reporting on “former employees who were terminated or resigned.”
Locals who were following the coverage and the reactions couldnt decide what to make of the devolving relationship between the *Gazette* and county leadership. Was their tiny newspaper needlessly antagonizing the sheriff, or was it insisting on accountability in the face of misconduct? Craig Young, the mayor of Idabel, told me that he generally found the papers reporting to be accurate; he also said that the county seemed to be doing a capable job of running itself. He just hoped that nothing would disrupt Idabels plans to host an upcoming event that promises to draw thousands of tourists. On April 8, 2024, a solar eclipse will arc across the United States, from Dallas, Texas, to Caribou, Maine. McCurtain County lies in one of the “totality zones.” According to *NASA*, between one-forty-five and one-forty-nine that afternoon, Idabel will experience complete darkness.
In October, 2022, Chris got another explosive tip—about himself. A local law-enforcement officer sent him audio excerpts of a telephone conversation with Captain Manning. The officer did not trust Manning, and had recorded their call. (Oklahoma is a one-party-consent state.) They discussed office politics and sexual harassment. Manning recalled that, after she was hired, a detective took bets on which co-worker would “hit it,” or sleep with her, first. Another colleague gossiped that she “gave a really good blow job.”
The conversation turned to Clardys drug test. As retribution, Manning said that she wanted to question Chris in one of her sex-crime investigations—at a county commissioners meeting, “in front of everybody.” She went on, “We will see if they want to write about that in the newspaper. Thats just the way I roll. O.K., you dont wanna talk about it? Fine. But its “public record.” Yall made mine and Kevins business public record.’ ”
At the time, Manning was investigating several suspected pedophiles, including a former high-school math teacher who was accused of demanding nude photographs in exchange for favorable grades. (The teacher is now serving thirteen years in prison.) Manning told a TV news station that “possibly other people in the community” who were in a “position of power” were involved. On the recorded call, she mentioned pedophilia defendants by name and referred to Chris as “one of them.” Without citing evidence, she accused him of trading marijuana for videos of children.
Chris, stunned, suspected that Manning was just looking for an excuse to confiscate his phone. But when he started to lose music students, and his kids friends stopped coming over, he feared that rumors were spreading in the community. A source warned him that Mannings accusations could lead to his children being forensically interviewed, which happens in child-abuse investigations. He developed such severe anxiety and depression that he rarely went out; he gave his firearms to a relative in case he felt tempted to harm himself. Angie was experiencing panic attacks and insomnia. “We were not managing,” she said.
That fall, as Chris mulled his options, a powerful tornado struck Idabel. Bruce and Gwen lost their home. They stored their salvaged possessions at the *Gazette* and temporarily moved in with Chris and Angie. In December, the *Gazette* announced that Chris planned to sue Manning. On March 6th, he did, in federal court, alleging “slander and intentional infliction of emotional distress” in retaliation for his reporting. Clardy was also named as a defendant, for allowing and encouraging the retaliation to take place. (Neither he nor Manning would speak with me.)
In May, both Clardy and Manning answered the civil complaint in court. Clardy denied the allegations against him. Manning cited protection under the legal doctrine of qualified immunity, which is often used to indemnify law-enforcement officers from civil action and prosecution. She denied the allegations and asserted that, if Chris Willingham suffered severe emotional distress, it fell within the limits of what “a reasonable person could be expected to endure.”
On the day that Chris filed his lawsuit, the McCurtain County Board of Commissioners held its regular Monday meeting, at 9 *A*.*M*., in a red brick building behind the jail. Commissioners—there are three in each of Oklahomas seventy-seven counties—oversee budgets and allocate funding. Their meeting agendas must be public, so that citizens can scrutinize government operations. Bruce, who has covered McCurtains commissioners for more than forty years, suspected the board of discussing business not listed on the agenda—a potential misdemeanor—and decided to try to catch them doing it.
Two of the three commissioners—Robert Beck and Mark Jennings, the chairman—were present, along with the boards executive assistant, Heather Carter. As they neared the end of the listed agenda, Bruce slipped a recording device disguised as a pen into a cup holder at the center of the conference table. “Right in front of em,” he bragged. He left, circling the block for the next several hours as he waited for the commissioners to clear out. When they did, he went back inside, pretended to review some old paperwork, and retrieved the recording device.
That night, after Gwen went to bed, Bruce listened to the audio, which went on for three hours and thirty-seven minutes. He heard other county officials enter the room, one by one—“Like, Now is your time to see the king.’ ”
In came Sheriff Clardy and Larry Hendrix. Jennings, whose family is in the timber business, brought up the 2024 race for sheriff. He predicted numerous candidates, saying, “They dont have a goddam clue what theyre getting into, not in this day and age.” It used to be, he said, that a sheriff could “take a damn Black guy and whup their ass and throw em in the cell.”
“Yeah, well, its not like that no more,” Clardy said.
“I know,” Jennings said. “Take em down there on Mud Creek and hang em up with a damn rope. But you cant do that anymore. They got more rights than *we* got.”
After a while, Manning joined the meeting. She arrived to a boisterous greeting from the men in the room. When she characterized a colleagues recent comment about her legs as sexual harassment, Beck replied, “I thought sexual harassment was only when they held you down and pulled you by the hair.” They joked about Manning mowing the courthouse lawn in a bikini.
Manning continually steered the conversation to the *Gazette*. Jennings suggested procuring a “worn-out tank,” plowing it into the newspapers office, and calling it an accident. The sheriff told him, “Youll have to beat my son to it.” (Clardys son is a deputy sheriff.) They laughed.
Manning talked about the possibility of bumping into Chris Willingham in town: “Im not worried about what hes gonna do to me, Im worried about what I might do to him.” A couple of minutes later, Jennings said, “I know where two big deep holes are here, if you ever need them.”
“Ive got an excavator,” the sheriff said.
“Well, these are already pre-dug,” Jennings said. He went on, “Ive known two or three hit men. Theyre very quiet guys. And would cut no fucking mercy.”
Bruce had been threatened before, but this felt different. According to the U.S. Press Freedom Tracker, forty-one journalists in the country were physically assaulted last year. Since 2001, at least thirteen have been killed. That includes Jeff German, a reporter at the Las Vegas *Review-Journal*, who, last fall, was stabbed outside his home in Clark County. The countys former administrator, Robert Telles, has been charged with his murder. Telles had been voted out of office after German reported that he contributed to a hostile workplace and had an inappropriate relationship with an employee. (Telles denied the reporting and has pleaded not guilty.)
When Bruce urged Chris to buy more life insurance, Chris demanded to hear the secret recording. The playback physically sickened him. Bruce took the tape to the Idabel Police Department. Mark Matloff, the district attorney, sent it to state officials in Oklahoma City, who began an investigation.
Chris started wearing an AirTag tracker in his sock when he played late-night gigs. He carried a handgun in his car, then stopped—he and Angie worried that an officer could shoot him and claim self-defense. He talked incessantly about “disappearing” to another state. At one point, he told his dad, “I cursed our lives by deciding to move here.”
It was tempting to think that everybody was watching too much “Ozark.” But one veteran law-enforcement official took the meeting remarks seriously enough to park outside Chris and Angies house at night, to keep watch. “Theres an undertone of violence in the whole conversation,” this official told me. “Were hiring a hit man, were hanging people, were driving vehicles into the McCurtain *Gazette*. These are the people that are *running* your sheriffs office.”
On Saturday, April 15th, the newspaper published a front-page article, headlined “*County officials discuss killing, burying Gazette reporters*.” The revelation that McCurtain Countys leadership had been caught talking wistfully about lynching and about the idea of murdering journalists became global news. “Both the FBI and the Oklahoma Attorney Generals Office now have the full audio,” the *Gazette* reported. (The McCurtain County Board of Commissioners declined to speak with me. A lawyer for the sheriffs office wrote, in response to a list of questions, that “numerous of your alleged facts are inaccurate, embellished or outright untrue.”)
On the eve of the storys publication, Chris and his family had taken refuge in Hot Springs, Arkansas. They were still there when, that Sunday, Kevin Stitt, the governor of Oklahoma, publicly demanded the resignations of Clardy, Manning, Hendrix, and Jennings. The next day, protesters rallied at the McCurtain County commissioners meeting. Jennings, the boards chairman, resigned two days later. No one else did. The sheriffs department responded to the *Gazettes* reporting by calling Bruces actions illegal and the audio “altered.” (Chris told me that he reduced the background noise in the audio file before Bruce took it to the police.)
People wanted to hear the recording, not just read about it, but the *Gazette* had no Web site. No one had posted on the newspapers Facebook page since 2019, when Kiara Wimbley won the Little Miss Owa Chito pageant. The Willinghams published an oversized QR code on the front page of the April 20th issue, linking to a Dropbox folder that contained the audio and Angies best attempt at a transcript. They eventually put Chriss articles online.
In a rare move, the seventeen-member board of the Oklahoma Sheriffs Association voted unanimously to suspend the memberships of Clardy, Manning, and Hendrix. The censure blocked them from conferences and symbolically ostracized them from Oklahomas seventy-six other sheriffs. “When one goes bad, it has a devastating effect on everybody,” Ray McNair, the executive director, told me. Craig Young, Idabels mayor, said, “It kind of hurt everyone to realize weve had these kind of leaders in place.”
Young was among those who hoped that Gentner Drummond, the attorney general, would depose the sheriff “so we can start to recover.” But, on June 30th, Drummond ended his investigation by informing Governor Stitt that although the McCurtain County officials conversation was “inflammatory” and “offensive,” it wasnt criminal. There would be no charges. If Clardy were to be removed from office, voters would have to do it.
Decades ago, Bruce launched “Call the Editor,” a regular feature on the *Gazettes* opinion page. Readers vent anonymously to the newspapers answering machine, and Bruce publishes some of the transcribed messages. When the world ran out of answering machines, he grudgingly upgraded to digital, which requires plugging the fax cable into his computer every afternoon at five and switching it back the next morning. A caller might refer to Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer as “buffoons,” or ask, Why is the Fire Department charging me a fifty-cent fee? There have been many recent messages about the sheriff and the commissioners, including direct addresses to Clardy: “The people arent supposed to be scared . . . of you or others that wear a badge.”
Bruce and Gwen worried that the ongoing stress would drive Chris and Angie away from the *Gazette*—and from McCurtain County. Sure enough, theyre moving to Tulsa. Angie told me, “Were forty years old. Weve been doing this half our lives. At some point, we need to think of our own happiness, and our familys welfare.” Bruce protested, but he couldnt much blame them. ♦
The newspaper managed to secretly record a county meeting and caught officials talking about the idea of killing *Gazette* reporters.
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# A Truckers Kidnapping, a Suspicious Ransom, and a Colorado Familys Perilous Quest for Justice
**“Why havent we killed him already?”**. It was one of the few things Orlando León could hear his captors arguing about through the sound of rain pounding on a metal roof in Guatemala. From where he sat with his hands bound in front of him and a hood pulled over his head, he wondered the same thing: *How was he still alive? And how long had he been sitting there*?
A metallic taste filled Orlandos mouth as blood dripped from the gums where his top four front teeth had once been. It was difficult to see anything through the hood, but Orlando knew he was in a cemetery. Before his kidnappers had shoved him inside a small building, hed been able to make out the silhouettes of gravestones and crosses when flashes of lightning illuminated them against the dark backdrop of the jungle. Judging from other stories hed heard about kidnappings in Guatemala, he figured his abductors had already dug an unmarked grave for him.
“What do you want from me?” Orlando asked.
“Shut up, you son of a bitch,” one of the captors said.
The other men inside the room continued arguing in hushed tones before appearing to come to an agreement. Orlando could hear them rustling around. “Use these,” one of them said amid the beeps of cell phones being turned off and on. “They could be tracking us.” Then, before using one from what Orlando presumed to be a bag full of burner phones, the men demanded a number from him.
Thousands of miles away in Aurora, Sylvia Galván Cedillos cell lit up with a call from an unknown number in Guatemala. It was October 19, 2014, and it had been almost 12 hours since relatives in Guatemala alerted her that a group of men had snatched her husband from the streets of his ancestral village of Aldea Zarzal. Since then, her house had sounded like an emergency call center. Sylvia and her daughter, 28-year-old Alondra León, tried to find out more about who Orlando had recently been in contact with. And her sons, Chris and Elvis León, then 27 and 30 years old, respectively, had reported the kidnapping to the Aurora Police Department—although, according to the family, Aurora PD failed to take a report once it heard the incident was in Guatemala. Officers instructed them to contact the FBI.
So, the family turned to other officials, including the FBI (who the family says advised them to file a report online but declined to get involved right away), as well as the Guatemalan consulate in Denver, Guatemalas national police, and local police in the Zacapa region of Guatemala where Orlando had last been seen.
After Sylvia saw the unknown number on her screen, she answered uneasily.
“Call the police again and well kill your husband,” a man said.
A jostling sound obscured the other end of the line before Sylvia heard a familiar voice. “Stop asking around about these guys,” Orlando said to his wife. “Just do what they say!”
Before hanging up, the callers said theyd be in touch. Now the León family felt even more unsettled. How had the kidnappers known theyd been calling police in Guatemala? Later, the family would speculate that alerting both the local and national police put enough pressure on Orlandos captors to save his life, but in the panic of that day, it seemed that any move might be the difference between life and death. Sylvia couldnt make sense of it. Why had Orlando been kidnapped? Her husband had simply made a routine trip down to Guatemala to sell used cars from America like he had dozens of times before.
Another call came in after midnight in Colorado. This time, the kidnappers issued instructions: Orlando could live, and they would spare his Guatemalan relatives as well, if Sylvia deposited $7,000 into a specified bank account at Wells Fargo. Sylvia and her son, Elvis, say they didnt question the request and remember going to a Wells Fargo branch on a Monday morning to pay the ransom.
The promise of the money compelled his captors to let Orlando go free, but while Sylvia and Elvis were at the bank, something else happened: As Sylvia gave a female bank teller the account number, Sylvia divulged that the deposit was a ransom payment. Sylvia asked the teller if she would be willing to share the name and address of the account holder. The bank teller initially declined and cited a privacy policy. But after Sylvia shared details of the familys plight, the Wells Fargo employee, according to Sylvia and Elvis, discreetly turned her computer screen around so that it faced the mother and son. “This money isnt going to Guatemala,” the teller said.
Elvis and Sylvias eyes went wide as they realized their money was being routed to a bank account in the Denver metro area. They werent sure yet, but it occurred to them that it was possible Orlando had been kidnapped by associates of the very people whod hired him to transport cars from Colorado to Guatemala.
![](https://cdn.5280.com/2023/04/Sylvia-and-Orlando-Leon_AmandaLopezPhoto_1M5A9953.jpg)
Orlando León and Sylvia Galván Cedillo this past winter in Colorado. Photo by Amanda López
**Drive along the highways of south Texas,** or in Mexicos eastern states of Tamaulipas, Veracruz, and Tabasco, and theyre hard to miss: caravans of used passenger vehicles, usually old pickup trucks, heading southbound toward Central America. Oftentimes, the used autos are piled high with secondhand goods, such as washing machines and motorbikes, and theyre typically hauling a second passenger vehicle behind them with torn pieces of duct tape spelling out “In Tow” on a rear hitch or window. The drivers of these vehicles are transmigrantes, a term derived from a special visa program that the Mexican government devised to allow goods and vehicles to move overland from the United States to Central America along designated highways and without drivers having to pay high import-export fees.
According to the U.S. Department of Homeland Security, the idea behind the program was to allow families in the United States to move—or transmigrate—across Mexico to Central America while not imposing heavy customs duties on items they brought along with them. Other times, individuals from the United States use the visa to personally transport goods (which theyre not allowed to sell in Mexico) to family members in Guatemala, Honduras, and El Salvador, often during the holiday season. Over the past three decades, though, an entire industry of freelance truckers has arisen around the program and its tax loopholes.
Like many who fall into the transmigrante trade, Enrique Orlando León has Central American roots. A skilled auto mechanic, Orlando grew up in rural Guatemala, moved to the United States in the 1970s, and met his wife, Sylvia, in Los Angeles, where they had three children. In 1995, the family of five moved to Colorados Front Range to escape their gang-troubled neighborhood in Southern California.
It was not long afterward that Orlando—now 67 years old, with salt-and-pepper hair often hidden beneath a baseball cap—attended an auto auction in Highlands Ranch, where he met a man who described how hed been transporting used cars he bought in Colorado to Central America. To cut down on customs fees, the man explained, hed been using Mexicos transmigrante program—and was generating handsome profits by selling the vehicles in Guatemala. “You can earn 100 percent returns,” the man told Orlando. “Even up to 200 percent, depending on the type of vehicle.”
Intrigued, Orlando checked out the mans claims. Not only was it completely legal to use the transmigrante program in this way, Orlando learned, but it was also a classic arbitrage scenario, the term economists use when the same item has different prices in separate markets. Certain types of cars were in much higher demand in Guatemala, with price tags significantly elevated over their counterparts in the United States. And the most sought-after vehicles of all? Toyota pickup trucks—especially Tacomas—which farmers in Guatemala like to use to move materials up and down steep rural roads. “Back then \[in the 90s and 2000s\], if you found a used Toyota pickup here for $900,” Orlando says, “you could sell it in Guatemala for $3,000.”
As it turned out, Orlando had inadvertently moved his family to an ideal home base for work as a Guatemala-bound transmigrante. For a while, he remembers, Colorado seemed to be a gold mine of cheap Toyota pickups, and his skills as a mechanic paid off when he bought and repaired salvage vehicles from local auto auctions such as Copart, as well as online resources like Craigslist and, later, Facebook Marketplace. With I-25 and I-70 merging in Denver, the Centennial States central location also makes it an ideal staging ground for local transmigrantes who make trips to fetch used vehicles in states like Wyoming, Idaho, and Montana.
From the start, Sylvia didnt love her husbands new profession. Early on, Sylvia noticed that Orlandos profits were actually pretty meager after factoring in what he spent on gas, motels, bribes, repairs, and flights home. “And when he left, it was always more work for me to take care of the children,” she says.
Then there were the inherent dangers of the job, which even Orlando readily lists: car accidents, highway robberies, police shakedowns, and running the gauntlet through cartel territory, which could involve payoffs or far scarier run-ins, including kidnappings. To mitigate those risks, transmigrantes stick together in caravans, and it wasnt long before Orlando befriended other drivers in Colorado—a group he currently estimates to be about 30 strong. Among them is Jorge Reyna, who lives in Capitol Hill and has been doing transmigrante runs since 1987. Like Sylvia, Reyna points out that the financial incentives of transmigrante work dont always justify the effort or the risk, but he has always had other reasons for doing the trips. “Its a job that doesnt enslave you like all those people who work five days a week, eight hours a day, in an office,” Reyna says.
Plus, Reyna explains, being a transmigrante allows Guatemalan-born men like himself and Orlando to maintain a connection with their families and ancestral homelands. “We bring things that help people in Guatemala,” Reyna says. Whenever transmigrantes deliver cars and other requested items, like televisions, washing machines, clothing, and furniture, theyre hauling away Americas detritus for a second life in Guatemala. Americas excess becomes Guatemalas gain.
“This is a good thing for the people of Guatemala,” Reyna says. After enduring a 36-year civil war that ended in 1996 and resulted in the deaths of as many as 200,000 people, Guatemala has had to play catch-up with the economy of the modern world—and goods from America help in that process. The main problem, as Orlando and Reyna learned, is that not everyone surrounding the transmigrante trade is so noble-minded.
**In 2011, Orlando felt like hed caught a break.** During his decade-plus of transmigrante runs, it had always been time-consuming work finding leads on used trucks, checking under their hoods, and oftentimes losing bids for those vehicles at auctions. Cheap Toyota trucks were also becoming increasingly difficult to come by. It seemed like transmigrantes across the American West scoured the same auction sites and Facebook pages that Orlando used. Where hundreds of transmigrantes used to cross the Texas border each month in the late 1990s, now hundreds, sometimes thousands, were doing so every week. So, when Orlando met a Guatemalan family in Colorado who wanted to hire him to move their cars and their goods, the Aurora mechanic seized the opportunity to do some contract work.
Over the next three years, Orlando estimates he did half a dozen trips as a hired hand for one family. (*5280* is not naming Orlandos employers at the request of the León family and because the individuals have not been charged with any crimes.) Orlando says he never examined the cargo in the vehicles that closely, and everything always passed inspections at the U.S.-Mexico border. “But I also never suspected anything was up,” he adds.
That would all change in September 2014, when his Colorado employers asked if he could drive a box truck full of furniture to Guatemala. Orlando initially told them he was busy; he was already planning to transport a school bus hed bought to resell in Guatemala and had promised to drive the bus in a caravan full of other transmigrantes, including Reyna. But when Reyna heard about his friends dilemma and suggested another driver that Orlando could subcontract with to drive the box truck, the Colorado employers gave Orlando the go-ahead.
Later that month, the caravan set off from the Texas border and rumbled southbound through Mexico. Before nightfall, the weather turned rainy, and as the hours stretched on, the box truck got well ahead of Orlando and Reyna. Daylight disappeared as the caravan passed the city of Naranjos in Veracruz. Thats when they saw the brake lights. The word was that there was an accident ahead—and it involved a big rig and a box truck.
By the time Orlando realized his hired driver had flipped his vehicle sideways in a drainage ditch while trying to avoid a wayward semi, Mexican police had already stuck the driver into a hospital-bound ambulance and were working to impound the damaged vehicle. Knowing the Mexican police would likely confiscate everything they could, given the opportunity, Orlando says he paid the cops $600 in cash so they wouldnt rob the truck he was supposed to deliver to Guatemala. Still, it would take nearly four weeks for Orlando to get the box truck out of the impound lot and tow the wreckage to Guatemala.
Much to Orlandos relief, Carlos,\* the recipient of the box truck, seemed in relatively good spirits when Orlando handed it off to him near the Mexico-Guatemala border on October 13. To make up for the delay in delivery, Orlando had promised to provide a comparable box truck to make up for the damaged one, and Carlos agreed to the transmigrantes offer. So, when Orlando traveled six hours away from the border to stay with his sister in Aldea Zarzal, he figured the ordeal was mostly over. A few days later, however, Carlos knocked on Orlandos sisters front door at 8:30 a.m. and asked if Orlando had time to grab coffee with him and two of his friends.
As soon as Orlando stepped out into the street, he felt the butt of a pistol slam against his face. A villager would later find Orlandos teeth lying in the roadside grass. It was only after the Coloradan regained consciousness and found himself in the cemetery that he began to question the legitimacy of the delivery hed made. *Had Mexican authorities, despite their assurances, stolen anything while the truck sat in impound? And what, exactly, had been inside*?
Even now—years later—Orlando still hears rumors about what may have been concealed in the trucks cargo, including guns or even up to $2 million in cash hidden inside pieces of furniture. If that much money had gone missing, though, Orlando doesnt think hed be alive—or that hed have been able to negotiate his release for such a comparatively small sum. While his kidnappers originally asked for $15,000, Orlando says he negotiated it down to $7,000 by telling his captors they could keep the school bus hed driven down to sell in Guatemala. Only in retrospect does it appear that some outside factor—perhaps his familys calls to local Guatemalan police—saved him from a shallow, unmarked grave.
![](https://cdn.5280.com/2023/04/Orlando_Leon_injuries_courtesy_elvis_leon.jpg)
Photos of Orlando Leóns injuries from a Guatemalan police report and an X-ray that he had done after his kidnapping. Photos courtesy of Elvis León
**Orlando managed to escape** Guatemala with his life, but now he craved justice. No sooner had he returned to Colorado than the León family began approaching numerous U.S. law enforcement agencies—and politicians. This included a second conversation with the Aurora Police Department, which did send an officer to the León home on October 26, 2014, to take a report, but only after Morgan Carroll, then a Colorado state senator, had heard about the situation and called the department to ask it to do something. Once again, Aurora Police referred the Leóns to the FBI, who the Leóns say told them that the Wells Fargo account Sylvia and Elvis had deposited money into had multiple account holders. Although the name Sylvia had written down at the bank was a person related to Orlandos ex-employers, it would be difficult to prove in court who actually received the money. (In a statement to *5280*, the FBI could not “confirm or deny” that the agency ever looked into the matter.)
Orlando then approached the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) after other Guatemalans in Denver suggested that his employers may have been involved in narco-trafficking. The DEA, according to the León family, told them two things: that the agency believed they were in imminent danger and should move, and that it found Orlandos story too suspicious to accept at face value. This included the fact that Orlando had been kidnapped by a man in Guatemala—Carlos—whom he had delivered vehicles to before and could easily identify. “They basically said that there were a lot of red flags in this story,” remembers Orlandos son Elvis, who had begun helping his Spanish-speaking parents interface with U.S. law enforcement agencies. “The DEA said that my dad knew more than he was letting on, and unless he confessed that he was selling drugs, or moving money and guns for these guys, that they would not move forward with us.”
While the answer frustrated Orlando, who swore he had no knowledge of illegal activity before his kidnapping, the DEAs response insulted Elvis. The now 38-year-old Army veteran had served a tour in Iraq and thought his military service would help get agencies like the DEA to take his familys situation seriously. As Elvis saw it, his father—a permanent legal resident—was inviting powerful federal agencies to pick over the details of his life and work. Orlando himself had also told the DEA that there couldve been contraband in the cars hed transported from Colorado. *Why*, Elvis wondered, *was his father being asked to confess to the very things he wanted the feds to investigate*?
It would take finding an agent with personal experience investigating Guatemalan criminal activity in Colorado for Orlando to gain any traction. In 2016, after a year and a half of dead ends with other federal agencies, Elvis and Orlando walked into a U.S. Department of Homeland Security Investigations (HSI) office in Greenwood Village and were directed to Andrew Anderson. The HSI agent had previously investigated another Colorado incident in which unsuspecting drivers moved contraband to Guatemala. That 2010 case [involved a shipping company](https://www.denverpost.com/2010/11/30/feds-probing-aurora-shipper-over-guns-bound-for-guatemala/) called Transportes Zuleta, an unwitting, DHL-type outfit that a number of Colorado-based criminals took advantage of and used to illegally ship guns to Guatemala by hiding weapons inside speakers and televisions. As Anderson worked that case and helped nab one suspect in an undercover gun buy, the white, Spanish-speaking agent came to develop a variety of Guatemalan sources around Denver. “Whats unique about the Guatemalan community here is that they all seem to know each other,” Anderson says.
When Anderson, who is now retired, learned the details surrounding Orlandos kidnapping, not only did the story of an innocent driver bear resemblances to the Transportes Zuleta case, but Anderson was also able to go back to various sources and vet Orlandos reputation. “I had several people say, I know that guy; hes a great guy. He takes cars to Guatemala,’ ” Anderson says. The references matched Andersons own sense of the man. “He seemed just to me like an older, hardworking guy,” he says. “I didnt have any reason to think he was involved in anything.”
The agent felt comfortable enough around Orlando that he decided to take him on a few ride-alongs so that Orlando could help identify the people whod hired him in Colorado, as well as point out properties where he had picked up vehicles. Anderson recalls some of the locations being isolated pieces of ranchland, making them difficult targets for in-person surveillance.
Surveillance difficulties werent the only issue, though. Once Anderson started asking around to see if any of his old sources knew the suspects—and might be willing to gather intel on them—the agent learned that people were intimidated by Orlandos former employers. The word was they had guns. And money. The federal agent soon began to understand why the León family was so afraid.
**By the time Orlando began doing ride-alongs** with Anderson in late 2016, there had already been a number of developments in his kidnapping case south of the U.S. border. Based on a police report that Orlando had submitted before hed returned to Colorado, the Policía Nacional Civil—Guatemalas national police—had arrested one of his captors in March 2015. As *La Prensa Libre*, a Guatemalan newspaper, reported, Carlos “was captured in El Molino…. He is accused of having participated in the kidnapping of a businessman in October of 2014.”
When the León family heard the news, Elvis says he and his parents were shocked. “This doesnt happen in a place like Guatemala,” Elvis says. “No one gets arrested there.” The report was cause for celebration, some of which Elvis captured on video. With his parents permission, he had begun filming his familys experiences for a possible documentary. After leaving the Army on an honorable discharge, Elvis had studied film production at Aurora Community College and Regis University on the GI Bill. With a few documentary shorts in his [portfolio](https://www.storiesbyelvis.com/) (*Cecil & Carl*, a film about an aging gay couple in Denver, played at 50 international festivals and earned eight awards), the budding auteur realized that, in the aftermath of his fathers kidnapping, he had intimate access to one of the most compelling human dramas he could imagine.
The project would eventually consume him and grow to include more than 600 hours of footage. But even from the start, Elvis recognized a second incentive to capture video: By documenting the incidents that had started to befall his family in Colorado post-kidnapping, he could gather evidence for law enforcement.
Not long after Carlos arrest in Guatemala, Sylvia says cars with tinted windows would slowly drive by the familys Aurora home; in one case, Orlando remembers a vehicle parking directly in front of the house and idling there for hours with its engine on. The couple, who had never owned firearms, started keeping weapons in their house and taking target practice on the weekends. They installed security cameras around the property.
![](https://cdn.5280.com/2023/04/Elvis-Lean_AmandaLopezPhoto_1M5A0423.jpg)
Elvis, Orlando and Sylvias son, has documented his fathers ordeal on video. Photo by Amanda López
Then the family began getting calls from Guatemala, some of which Elvis captured on video. Orlandos relatives told him they were receiving death threats—including warnings that they would “eat worms”—and begged Orlando to drop his accusation against Carlos. Another time, Orlando says one of Carlos lawyers called him and offered to pay back the ransom money, which he refused. Finally, Orlando says he got three calls from Carlos himself, from inside the jail where he was being held before trial. “In Guatemala, if you pay the police enough money, theyll let you do anything inside a jail,” Orlando says. “So, Carlos calls me and says, Cmon, how much money do you need? And I said, I cant do anything for you.’ ”
The threats to Orlandos relatives only escalated, and he grew more embittered that the investigation wasnt going anywhere. Elvis noticed his dad became desperate to gather more evidence. At night, Orlando had begun playing detective, driving around to map out the various homes and companies the Colorado suspects owned. While Orlando never saw any of the suspects, everyone in the León family feared that Orlandos sleuthing might lead to his death.
By mid-2017, the case in Guatemala seemed to have stalled; Carlos trial had been delayed for more than two years, and it still wasnt clear to anyone when or if it would actually happen. The family also heard less and less from HSI, until August 2019, when Anderson delivered bad news: Without any inside sources or a suspect they could flip in Colorado, his agency couldnt gather enough evidence on Orlandos ex-employers to continue its investigation.
As disappointing as this development was, Sylvia prayed her husband might take Andersons news as a sign to give up his quest for justice. The strange cars driving by the house, the veiled threats, the constant fear—it was getting to her. “We had many fights about this,” she remembers. “I told him, You are free. You are well. Think about how many times they kidnap someone and you never see them again. So please stop for us, OK?’ ”
Orlando remained implacable. He said he had to see his case through. Although Sylvia believed her husband ignored many of her pleas, she was able to get Orlando to agree to one concession: that he wouldnt leave the United States on transmigrante runs. Per their agreement, he would only take used cars as far Los Indios, Texas, to hand them off to other drivers. After all, she said, the border was dangerous enough.
**The Free Trade International Bridge,** a four-lane highway with barbed wire fences that spans approximately 500 feet across an emerald green section of the Rio Grande between Los Indios, Texas, and Matamoros, Mexico, has traditionally been the only border crossing that transmigrantes could use under Mexicos visa program. That changed in March 2021, when a second port of entry in Presidio, Texas, opened. Still, Los Indios continues to see the vast majority of transmigrantes. According to data compiled by Cameron County, Texas, around 5,000 transmigrantes enter Mexico through there every month. Those numbers have created a cottage industry in Los Indios, which includes not just rest stops, convenience stores, and dorms for transmigrantes, but also so-called forwarding agencies, which transmigrantes use to pay document fees, get visa paperwork approved by Mexican officials, and get sign-off from U.S. customs agents (who check to make sure vehicles leaving the United States are not stolen).
Forwarding agencies are viewed as necessary middlemen who help transmigrantes navigate government bureaucracy. When Orlando and Reyna first started doing their trips, these agencies fees were negligible. But starting around 2011, the prices charged by every agency in town began climbing; by 2022, it wasnt uncommon for a transmigrante to pay almost $500 per vehicle in various fees.
According to [a federal indictment](https://www.justice.gov/opa/pr/criminal-charges-unsealed-against-12-individuals-wide-ranging-scheme-monopolize-transmigran-0) unsealed by a U.S. District Court judge in December 2022, there were nefarious reasons behind the price hikes. A group of alleged extortionists, some of whom are U.S. citizens with family ties to the Matamoros-based Gulf Cartel, are accused of coercing Los Indios forwarding agencies into a price-fixing scheme. When some industry personnel refused to go along with the conspiracy, things turned violent.
On March 9, 2019, a woman who handled transmigrante paperwork and had refused to pay bribes or engage in price-fixing had driven just beyond the Free Trade International Bridge and was inside Mexican territory when gunshots crackled around her. The woman, whose identity has been concealed in the federal indictment, was shot but survived. Another industry worker she was with, Rocio Alderete, died at the scene.
Eight months later, more bullets: On November 5, 2019, three forwarding agency employees from another company that had refused to go along with extortion demands found themselves in the gunsights of assassins. This time, all three employees who had traveled to the Mexican side of the border died from gunshot wounds.
The killings laid bare a dark side of the transmigrante industry. Everyone, including Orlando and Reyna, heard about them. As the U.S. Department of Justice would reveal in its indictment charging a dozen individuals for 11 crimes, including extortion and money laundering, the accused criminal ring may have siphoned $27 million worth of fees and bribes from transmigrantes since 2011. According to one person *5280* spoke with in Los Indios who asked not to be named because the court cases are still pending, that figure is conservative.
“We do everything we can to reduce border violence,” says HSI acting deputy special agent in charge Mark Lippa, “and we understand that theres a legitimate means for \[transmigrantes\] to operate in our border area.” For the transmigrante community at large, the indictment signaled that not only were American authorities approving the trade publicly, but they were also finally coming in to protect it.
**Orlando cannot say the same for himself**—in this country or in Guatemala. It is a truth he will likely never get over. On a recent day in early February, Orlando met up with Jorge Reyna at an auto junkyard near Watkins, the two veteran transmigrantes sporting oil-stained sweatshirts to protect themselves against the Eastern Plains subfreezing chill.
In a hushed tone, Orlando mentioned that, just the week before, the last active case against his kidnappers had been dropped by a Guatemalan judge. He knew he should have expected this; history was simply repeating itself.
In fall 2017, Orlando had gone to Guatemala to testify in Carlos trial. At considerable risk, the then 62-year-old had arranged an in-and-out operation so that he could show up at the courthouse just long enough to take the stand. Less than two weeks later, though, the judge dismissed the case. Prosecutors blamed Sylvia, a key witness, for not testifying in person—shed been too afraid to go to Guatemala. But rumors also circulated about payoffs to court personnel and threats that influenced other witnesses testimonies.
Elvis says that moment, along with HSIs later decision to drop the case, triggered something of a collapse for the León family. After everything theyd endured, it seemed like everyone had abandoned them. Without a direction or tidy ending, Elvis documentary project floundered. “Everyone was always like, *This is amazing. It has Netflix written all over it*,” says Elvis, who has since moved to LA. [But no one would actually write a check.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwI4hadf-Vw)
Arguments between his parents spiraled. “Im not remaining silent, because everyone else remains silent,” Orlando would often tell Sylvia as he continued to press Guatemalan police to make arrests. “Thats what has allowed gangs to take over. I have to try to help others so that the same thing that happened to me cant happen to them.”
“That fight is so big for just one man,” Sylvia would respond.
Not everyone would say Orlandos crusade is irrational. According to Jeff Brand, a Boston-based psychologist who wrote his doctoral dissertation on [trauma in Guatemala](https://rucore.libraries.rutgers.edu/rutgers-lib/48169/PDF/1/play/), some people simply cannot “get over” their trauma—nor should they be expected to—especially if they come from a culture fraught with violence. While not remarking on Orlandos particular case, the psychologist says, “The idea of alleviating trauma symptoms and putting it behind me may mean nothing when I know that, at any moment, it could happen to me again, or to the people I love, or to the community I call home.”
But home remains elusive for Orlando. While hed like to retire in Guatemala someday, its still too dangerous for him there. So, he stays in Colorado, where the peril still feels very real—his ex-employer still lives in the Centennial State, and whispers suggest that hes been asking around for Orlandos new cell number—albeit maybe less brazen.
As Orlando and Reyna neared the heart of the junkyard, mangy dogs danced around their feet in a sludgy mixture of mud and snow. After sidestepping a piece of plywood, the two men emerged into a clearing filled with nearly a dozen used Toyota trucks with Colorado and Wyoming plates. Orlando smiled wistfully. Soon, these vehicles would be filled with used items and a group of transmigrantes would take them down through Los Indios—more American waste finding a second chance in Guatemala.
Orlando still hopes for another chance, too. “They may be abandoning them,” Orlando says of the cases against two of Carlos alleged co-conspirators in Guatemala. “But, in my mind, I know that someone is going to help me find justice one day.”
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# A Young Man's Path Through the Mental Health Care System Led to Prison — and a Fatal Encounter | Crime | Seven Days
Published September 6, 2023 at 10:00 a.m.
Updated September 13, 2023 at 10:09 a.m.
![Mbyayenge "Robbie" Mafuta's yearbook photo - COURTESY](https://media2.sevendaysvt.com/sevendaysvt/imager/u/blog/39042208/crime1-1-8ba7d53afeda25bf.jpg)
- Courtesy
- Mbyayenge "Robbie" Mafuta's yearbook photo
H e was being hunted — he was certain of it. Bus passengers studied him from the corners of their eyes. Trucks kept circling the block. Strangers hovered close. He heard shouts and screams, spectral sounds usually shrugged off as urban din. But on this windy December night in 2020, the young man took them as clues that assassins were closing in.
He hid inside a downtown café and called Burlington police for help. Soon, nurses at the University of Vermont Medical Center were introduced to Mbyayenge Mafuta. Friends knew him by his nickname, Robbie, which he pronounced in an unusual way, ROW-bee, that sounded like the name of the six-inch Bowie knife he'd begun carrying for protection.
#### about this story
Our reporting is based upon hundreds of pages of court documents, police reports and interviews with Mbyayenge "Robbie" Mafuta and people who know him. *Seven Days* also obtained Mafuta's medical records from his court-appointed attorneys, with Mafuta's permission.
Clinicians sketched a profile of the new patient: 19 years old, Black, clean-shaven, no known psychiatric history. He was paranoid, and likely hallucinating. "I am being followed by a group of people unknown to me," Mafuta told a nurse. She escorted him to Room 37, one of two in the emergency department outfitted with retractable metal screens used to shield medical equipment when patients lash out during a psychotic episode.
A specialist arrived two hours later and began asking questions. The first was easy: Where do you live?
"In my head," Mafuta answered.
Over the next two years, Mafuta's name and face would become familiar to doctors, police, correctional officers and residents of a city increasingly anxious about the interlocking problems of mental illness, homelessness and crime. He would return to the hospital again and again and take to sleeping on downtown park benches. He would be tackled and tased during a publicized run-in with Burlington cops, stoking a policing debate that had been ignited by George Floyd's murder. During a heated local election campaign, city officials would deploy Mafuta as a symbol of decaying public safety.
Then, in a matter of seconds inside a St. Albans prison last December, Mafuta [beat and gravely injured his cellmate](https://m.sevendaysvt.com/vermont/victim-dies-following-alleged-beating-in-vermont-prison-cell/Content?oid=37769211). Mafuta stepped outside their cell that day, dazed and bloody, as prison officers scrambled to save Jeffrey Hall, who subsequently died in a hospital. Last month, Mafuta appeared in a Franklin County courtroom to answer a charge of murder.
The bare facts of the attack seem to point to a dangerous and volatile defendant whose destructive impulses flared in prison. But interviews with Mafuta and people close to him, as well as a review of police records and hundreds of pages of medical charts, reveal a far more complicated chain of events.
This more disquieting account is the story of a young immigrant who endured childhood trauma but matured into a gifted and charismatic teen — only to sink into a quicksand of mental illness and homelessness from which an overtaxed, fragmented network of care was unable to rescue him. His descent offers a telling glimpse into the inadequacies of a system that provides limited support during the early stages of psychiatric illness, forcing the machinery of criminal justice to respond when crises result.
If Mafuta's murder case makes it to trial, his attorneys will seek to convince jurors that he was not guilty because he was insane when he attacked Hall, a finding no Vermont jury has delivered in living memory. Mafuta's future could hinge on what a dozen people in law-and-order Franklin County imagine was going through his mind during a 30-second spasm of violence.
But the path to the events of Cell 17 travels first, two years earlier, through Room 37 in UVM's emergency department, where a frightened teenager went to feel safe.
---
### 'I Had to Grow Up Really Fast'
![Mafuta playing for the South Burlington Dolphins as No. 77 - COURTESY OF SOUTH BURLINGTON DOLPHINS](https://media1.sevendaysvt.com/sevendaysvt/imager/u/blog/39042209/crime1-2-7dabc63d54053d1b.jpg)
- Courtesy Of South Burlington Dolphins
- Mafuta playing for the South Burlington Dolphins as No. 77
Mafuta was suspicious of the man taking notes. Mafuta had been sitting in the emergency department for more than two hours, exposed in his hospital gown, nervously spinning the identification bracelet around his wrist. His eyes checked the doorway. Even here, he did not know whom to trust.
His interlocutor worked with an [all-hours crisis service](https://howardcenter.org/first-call-for-chittenden-county/) run by Chittenden County's mental health provider, Howard Center. At first, Mafuta evaded the queries. But the therapist, an immigrant like him, specialized in working with young, traumatized adults, and with gentle questioning Mafuta began to reveal some details about his life.
Again and again, Mafuta had lost people close to him: his biological mother, who lived on another continent; a caseworker who died of cancer; a friend who drowned in Lake Champlain. Now he felt alone and unmoored in the place where he'd grown up. Explaining that to the stranger in Room 37 transported Mafuta to the furthest reaches of his memory, to those of the young child who departed the Democratic Republic of the Congo for the United States.
Had they come as refugees? He wasn't sure. He knew he was 5 when he'd said goodbye to his mother and boarded an airplane to Indiana with his father, younger brother and stepmother. He was in elementary school when the family later moved to a brick apartment building in Essex, wedged into a suburban neighborhood of mostly single-family houses.
![Mbyayenge "Robbie" Mafuta' - COURTESY OF SOUTH BURLINGTON DOLPHINS](https://media1.sevendaysvt.com/sevendaysvt/imager/u/blog/39042211/crime1-4-6d3408e9399244e9.jpg)
- Courtesy Of South Burlington Dolphins
- Mbyayenge "Robbie" Mafuta'
Mafuta, outgoing and adventurous, wandered into the backyards of neighbors. He knocked on doors to ask for rides to school when he missed the bus. Some neighbors invited Mafuta into their homes to play Xbox with their kids. Others yelled at the Mafuta boys for playing with their family's toys, telling police they thought the children might steal them.
Inside the family's sparsely furnished apartment, Mafuta's father, Ponda, expected obedience, Mafuta would later recall. Mafuta had chores by the time he was 8 years old, and when he didn't do them, his father punished him harshly. When Ponda came home one afternoon to discover his son playing in the yard, Mafuta ran inside and pretended to sort the laundry, still dirty. The boy's screams reached the downstairs neighbor, Patrick Graziano, who was accustomed to loud noises from above, but nothing like this.
"You can tell when a child is in fear," he said.
Graziano ran upstairs, pushed open the Mafutas' door and found Ponda swinging a shoe at his son, who had curled defensively in a ball. Graziano pinned the man to the floor. The police took the father away in handcuffs.
It was the first of two times Ponda would face criminal charges for hitting his eldest child. The charges in both cases were later dropped, in one instance because Ponda agreed to go to specialized counseling for refugees and survivors of torture. (The elder Mafuta did not respond to interview requests.)
His son, nevertheless, was taken into state custody. Mafuta recalled moving from "one white house to the next" until he landed at Allenbrook, [a South Burlington group home](https://www.nfivermont.org/services/residential-programs/allenbrook-program/) for teens with behavioral challenges. He'd been diagnosed with posttraumatic stress disorder, and he saw a youth therapist.
Allenbrook had its own strictures. The home ran on a system tied to privileges. Residents gained points for doing their dishes, lost points for taking too long in the shower. Mafuta got in trouble for running away. More than once, he turned up at the playground of the Burlington apartment complex where his family had since moved.
He missed the African dishes his family cooked at home: fufu, pondu madesu. He missed his siblings. Even though Mafuta was scared of his father at times, he missed him, too.
"I had to grow up really fast," he told a caseworker years later.
Most of Mafuta's middle school peers in South Burlington had cellphones. He stole a teacher's so he could have one, too.
![Mafuta with the team - COURTESY OF SOUTH BURLINGTON DOLPHINS](https://media2.sevendaysvt.com/sevendaysvt/imager/u/blog/39042210/crime1-3-f156213f73ea579c.jpg)
- Courtesy Of South Burlington Dolphins
- Mafuta with the team
In sports, he found an outlet. The group home connected him to a youth football team, [the Dolphins](https://sbdolphins.com/), and coach Rene LaBerge showed him how to channel pent-up aggression into something positive. "I used football as a way to express myself," Mafuta later recalled.
By high school, he was a five-foot-10, 215-pound defensive standout and a frequent presence in opponents' backfields, disrupting plays before they began. He was named [all-state defensive lineman](https://www.burlingtonfreepress.com/story/sports/high-school/football/2018/12/05/2018-vermont-h-s-football-coaches-all-state-teams/2220504002/) on the [inaugural Burlington-South Burlington varsity football squad](https://www.burlingtonfreepress.com/story/sports/high-school/football/2018/08/13/what-know-burlington-south-burlington-football-cooperative/976555002/), the SeaWolves.
Once Mafuta learned to become a teammate, making friends came naturally. He brought dates to school dances and blew curfew to snack at Al's French Frys. He started making rap music with friends, including North Ave Jax, who now plays sold-out shows.
Around that time, Anais Carpentier, a junior, was struggling to find her place after moving to Vermont with her family. Mafuta introduced her to his friends and brought her to hangouts. "I got you," he told her. She'd drop him off at Allenbrook, and they'd lose track of time chatting in the parking lot.
"He's the reason high school wasn't that bad for me," Carpentier said.
Mafuta's senior classmates voted him as having the "most Wolfpack pride" — and roared when the high school principal called his name on graduation day in June 2019. His parents posed for photos alongside him in his cap and gown.
His time at Allenbrook was winding down. Mafuta hoped an athletics scholarship would propel him to college, maybe even Yale University. That didn't pan out, nor could he afford prep school. So as friends embarked for college, Mafuta went instead to Kentucky, where his father had found new work, to try to live with his parents again.
They continued to clash. Just before the pandemic, he moved back to Vermont on his own.
---
### Assassins and a Tapped Phone
![Mafuta and Anais Carpentier - COURTESY](https://media1.sevendaysvt.com/sevendaysvt/imager/u/blog/39042215/crime1-8-3cc3dd5e73fed617.jpg)
- Courtesy
- Mafuta and Anais Carpentier
The crisis therapist at the hospital in December 2020 wanted to know about those months between Mafuta's return to Vermont and his current, paranoid state. Mafuta, though, was fixated on the previous week. He had been hearing noises inside a recent girlfriend's home, Mafuta explained, but she told him he was imagining them. Then the mysterious troupe began stalking him.
"Writer doubts that this is the first episode," the therapist noted. "It is more likely that he has not revealed it before."
Mafuta had been under enormous stress. After returning to Burlington, he stayed with a friend's mother, who kicked him out because, she said, he kept smoking weed in the house. He bounced from couch to couch. The pandemic hit, and Mafuta began staying in state-sponsored motel rooms. He had no car, and the rooms had no kitchens.
Carpentier visited him in the run-down motels. But he became harder to find, and, at the end of summer 2020, she lost his trail.
A separate friend picked up Mafuta at Oakledge Park one evening. Taylor Chibuzo had only known Mafuta for a couple of years, but he had become her best friend. She'd look in awe at his journals, full of deft drawings and doodles. On this night, Mafuta seemed agitated. As she drove, he directed her to take abrupt turns because someone was following them. He seemed convinced that her phone was tapped. That night, Chibuzo found him standing in her front yard, staring at nothing but the pitch black.
It was the first time Chibuzo had felt uncomfortable around her friend. His paranoia made her wonder about schizophrenia, a disease she knew little about.
It was months before clinicians would deliver such a diagnosis, though [research on schizophrenia](https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fgene.2021.686666/full) indicates that Mafuta's age, migrant background and history of childhood abuse put him at a higher risk for developing the disease. But psychosis has many causes, and diagnosing an underlying condition takes time. A hospital psychiatrist who assessed Mafuta that December night wondered whether his symptoms might have been a result of heavy cannabis use. The specialist encouraged him to stay at the hospital until his condition improved.
Mafuta seemed amenable, telling them his assassins would leave his body in a ditch if he returned to the street. Still, just a few hours later, he changed his mind and walked out.
Over the next few days, Mafuta contacted Burlington police repeatedly to express fear that he was being followed. Then someone called 911 from Lakeview Cemetery to report what they believed might be a body. It was Mafuta, alive but face down in the snow next to the grave of his friend who had [drowned in Lake Champlain](https://www.burlingtonfreepress.com/story/news/2017/07/11/name-oakledge-drowning-victim-released/467961001/) several years earlier. Mafuta refused help but later showed up at the fire department asking for a ride to the emergency room. He left the hospital shortly after, only to return hours later, explaining that he hadn't been in the "right headspace" earlier. He agreed to be admitted to the psychiatric unit.
That day, Mafuta took his first dose of an antipsychotic medication. Over the week that followed, doctors noted that his paranoia seemed to subside. On December 18, he told them that he'd stopped hearing from a joke-telling "imaginary friend" and assured them that he had thrown away the cellphone he believed was tapped. He asked to be discharged.
Doctors urged him to stay a few more days so they could discuss a treatment plan going forward. Mafuta said he would schedule follow-up appointments on his own and sleep at a friend's house. The hospital ordered him a cab to help him get there.
---
### 'Something Must Be Going On'
![Mafuta with his lawyer Paul Groce - JAMES BUCK](https://media1.sevendaysvt.com/sevendaysvt/imager/u/blog/39042212/crime1-5-a0b3e7308f084f9a.jpg)
- James Buck
- Mafuta with his lawyer Paul Groce
Mafuta had reached a critical juncture. One or two psychotic episodes can cost someone a job, damage relationships and prompt encounters with the police. But intensive, ongoing care can, for some people, reverse that trajectory.
Vermont is the [only state without an intervention program known as coordinated specialty care](https://www.samhsa.gov/blog/new-tool-offers-hope-people-experiencing-early-serious-mental-illness-their-families), which the federal government says is proven to work. It's meant to prevent someone in the early stages of psychosis from spiraling toward deeper trouble. Some Vermont mental health workers, with state support, [have pioneered a similar yet distinct treatment approach](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32152853/) that marshals a team of therapists, family and friends to help a person address their needs. This more collaborative technique is not widely available, however, and most Vermonters do not receive such treatment. Mafuta wouldn't, either.
In the weeks following his December discharge, he had no further contact with the hospital or Howard Center, according to his medical records. Instead, he tried to solve mounting problems on his own.
Mafuta went to Goodwill and asked to be hired back for a job he had abandoned weeks earlier. When the manager said no, according to a police report, he knocked over merchandise and was barred from the property. Mafuta told a South Burlington officer who responded to stay "six feet away." The officer placed a written notice of trespass on the ground.
Soon after, in early January 2021, a Burlington police officer flagged down Mafuta on an Old North End sidewalk while investigating a report that someone resembling him had tried to break into a parked car. Mafuta walked past the officer, who grabbed his shoulder. He told the officer not to touch him. The exchange became heated and turned into a scuffle. Mafuta was [eventually subdued by an electric shock](https://vtdigger.org/2021/02/08/new-footage-shows-moments-before-burlington-officers-shocked-teen-with-stun-gun/). He was booked for assaulting the officer and released.
Three days later, he showed up at the house of a New North End family he didn't know and demanded they let him inside because, he told them, his phone was dead, according to court records. After they shut the door, he broke into their garage and began smashing items. Police arrested him at gunpoint.
That prompted the Chittenden County State's Attorney's Office to ask a judge to detain Mafuta while the cases played out in court. He was locked up for the first time in his life.
Soon, videos of his arrest-by-Taser received extensive news coverage in Burlington.
State's Attorney Sarah George began fielding calls from acquaintances who'd known Mafuta through their work at South Burlington High School. His recent behavior didn't add up, they told her; something must be going on. The calls surprised George: In her experience, people didn't usually speak up for homeless Black men.
The prosecutor said she asked the callers whether they knew anyone who could give Mafuta a place to live and watch over him. None came forward, so Mafuta spent nearly three months imprisoned while awaiting trial. "I don't think our intention was ever to have him be in that long," George said.
Incarceration had a "seriously adverse effect" on Mafuta because of his youthfulness and mental health issues, his public defenders argued in a bid for his release pending trial, which a judge granted in March. They hired a social worker to arrange for a hotel room, provide Mafuta with a cellphone and help him stay on top of his medication.
Meanwhile, a pair of psychiatrists evaluated Mafuta and determined that he was insane at the time of the January incidents. Prosecutors and his public defender began working out a deal to drop the charges in exchange for community treatment.
Then he was accused of another crime.
Mafuta had begun working in the kitchen at Olive Garden in South Burlington following his release but walked off during one of his shifts. When he learned days later that he no longer had a job, he [hijacked a truck in the parking lot with one of its owners still inside](https://www.wcax.com/2021/05/28/milton-man-steals-truck-with-person-inside/) and sped off toward a friend's house. He stopped to let her out, then continued driving until police pulled him over.
This time, a court-ordered psychiatrist concluded that Mafuta had understood his actions and was mentally fit to stand trial for the carjacking charge. He spent another four months in prison, until October 2021.
By then, as word spread of his erratic behavior, many peers were writing him off, his friend Carpentier said. She tried to stick by him, but it was growing more difficult.
Phone conversations with Mafuta devolved into arguments. He cussed her out and accused her of plotting against him. "That had never happened before," she said.
---
### Trusted Voices
A second deal with prosecutors sent Mafuta to treatment court, a community-based program for defendants with mental health conditions or drug addictions. It entailed drug tests, therapy and regular visits before a judge.
He was assigned a caseworker from Howard Center, the county mental health agency. His caseworker tallied Mafuta's strengths: "good energy, trusting, motivated toward change, old soul." For needs, she listed "affection, encouragement." Mafuta said what he needed most was consistency. It had been 10 months and two prison stints since his initial hospital visit.
Treatment court offered structure and supervision. He sought out new work, joined a cooking class and showed up to mandated court hearings.
Still, Mafuta's housing situation was precarious, and he strained to make sense of the waves of psychosis that doctors now suspected were symptoms of schizophrenia.
"I had to be my own father, which is where this voice in my head came from," he told his caseworker. "It is my best friend. I trust this voice more than anything else in the world."
One of the only people outside the system still keeping tabs on Mafuta was a Burlington barber, Tony Clarke. Clarke had met Mafuta years earlier while working with his father at Magic Hat Brewing and had occasionally joined Ponda on visits to Allenbrook group home. After Mafuta returned to Vermont, he and Clarke grew close.
Mafuta was desperate to prove that he could make it on his own. In phone calls with his father, he betrayed little of his troubles. He put on a strong face whenever he spoke to Clarke, too.
Clarke saw through the façade. "I was telling his father, like, 'Yo, shit is *not* good,' and he couldn't believe it," Clarke said.
When Ponda found out his son was homeless, he flew to Burlington and paid a woman from their former church to put up Mafuta, Clarke said. The arrangement ended because, Mafuta said, he was caught smoking weed at that house, too. Mafuta's struggles were stressful for Ponda, Clarke said, "because he wanted to help him but couldn't."
Early one morning, Clarke was taking out the trash from his Main Street barbershop, [Kut Masterz](https://www.instagram.com/kutmasterz_/?hl=en), when he heard someone rapping to himself at a bus stop. He rounded the corner and saw Mafuta, who by then was spending nights at a shelter on Shelburne Road. Clarke invited him inside.
Clarke started swinging by the shelter in case Mafuta needed a ride. Mafuta became a frequent presence at the barbershop, where he could count on food, comfort, conversation and a crisp haircut — usually a flattop or a fade.
When Mafuta said odd things, such as declaring that the left side of his body "walked with death," Clarke would tell him to "knock the bullshit off, man. I know you; this is not you." He didn't know what else to say.
Mafuta relied increasingly on doctors, yet the medication gave him tremors that got so bad in January 2022 that he went to the emergency room. A doctor suggested he stop taking the pills and visit his primary care physician in Colchester.
It's unclear whether he ever followed up. But when Mafuta returned to the UVM Medical Center emergency department again in April 2022, he disclosed that he had not taken his medication in three months.
Mafuta now said the Ku Klux Klan was following him and that his medications were being used for mind control. He tried to "cast spells" on one clinician and told another he might need to harm her so that she would stop writing things down.
"Just kill me now!" he screamed.
He shook the stretcher in his room, slammed a stool on the floor, and ran down a hallway with security and staff in pursuit.
The doctors decided that his threatening words and behavior were grounds for emergency inpatient treatment, otherwise known as involuntary commitment.
He spent another night in an emergency room, waiting for a bed.
---
### 'Swath of Destruction'
![Mafuta being brought into court by Sheriff John Grismore - JAMES BUCK](https://media2.sevendaysvt.com/sevendaysvt/imager/u/blog/39042213/crime1-6-0d19ef6c22deb30d.jpg)
- James Buck
- Mafuta being brought into court by Sheriff John Grismore
Mafuta ended up at the [Brattleboro Retreat](https://www.brattlebororetreat.org/), a nonprofit psychiatric hospital two hours away.
"Get out," he told the first nurse to enter his room.
He did not want to be in a hospital. His 21st birthday was coming up. He'd only gone to the emergency department in Burlington because he was looking for someplace to sleep, he told another nurse. Being homeless, he said, made his symptoms worse.
He struggled to explain the voices he heard in ways that doctors and nurses could understand — or he'd deny hearing anything. Like many people thought to have schizophrenia, he questioned his diagnosis. In time, Retreat staff persuaded Mafuta to try different antipsychotic medicines, which he said helped settle his mind. He went to peer meetings and made snacks using recipe cards. He wrote poetry.
As his stay neared the one-month mark, Mafuta wanted to return to Burlington so he could take more cooking classes. His treatment team began making plans for his discharge in May 2022.
One of the providers noted that Mafuta might benefit from residential treatment upon release. They placed him in a short-term crisis stabilization center, [ASSIST](https://howardcenter.org/mental-health/home-and-housing-supports/crisis-stabilization-support/), run by Howard Center.
During Mafuta's fourth day at ASSIST, house staffers made him take a Breathalyzer test because they thought, incorrectly, that his drink contained alcohol. Mafuta lost control. He thrust his elbow through a wall, causing his arm to bleed, and smashed a window. Employees hid in their offices while the police came.
The manager said Mafuta had to leave. But, she told police, he was unsafe to be on his own. An officer drove him to the UVM Medical Center.
Later that night, the hospital discharged him. Mafuta was back on the street — what would become his final, crushing stint. At a homeless shelter, he damaged property and was told to leave. He slept outdoors, usually on park benches, and lost track of his medications. His hallucinations became overwhelming, and he got more criminal citations and made more trips to the ER. "I just want to get my fucking medications so I can sleep," he yelled during one visit, before punching a machine. He was given an injection of a powerful antipsychotic drug.
Nighttime could be terrifying. He sought out safety in City Hall Park, a popular homeless hangout, only to wake up to the patter of rain and realize that everyone else had left. Mafuta wandered empty downtown streets, panic mounting, wondering where the other homeless people had gone. "I'm hearing people talking to me," he remembered later. "I'm seeing shadows walk across the streets." He huddled near Wi-Fi hot spots so he could listen to music on his headphones until daybreak.
Feeling suicidal, he jumped in front of traffic on Shelburne Road. He had outbursts at the library and at a pharmacy. He was accused of smashing windows at churches and businesses and of stealing clothes, a phone.
Burlington residents, meanwhile, were losing patience with the sort of public displays of homelessness, disorder and property crime that Mafuta was coming to represent. Those concerns fueled the August 2022 primary battle for Chittenden County state's attorney, in which George's challenger, backed by the Burlington police union, [pledged to clean up the streets by keeping more suspects behind bars](https://m.sevendaysvt.com/vermont/will-public-safety-worries-end-progressive-prosecutor-sarah-georges-sweeping-reforms/Content?oid=36110678).
Mafuta's personal crisis crashed into the politics of public safety during the final 72 hours of the campaign. Police again found Mafuta jumping in front of traffic. The next day, he was removed from a daytime shelter after ripping the door handle from a car in the parking lot.
On the eve of the primary election, Mafuta smashed windows at the bus station downtown, court papers allege. Then, in the early morning hours, he walked to the South End home where one of his former foster families lived. He asked to stay there, but they declined. Mafuta launched rocks through a bedroom window. He went on to damage more than 30 other nearby homes, prosecutors allege.
Voters awoke on primary day to headlines dubbing the vandalism spree a "[swath of destruction](https://www.mychamplainvalley.com/news/local-news/vandal-vuts-swath-of-destruction-through-south-end/)." The phrase had been plucked straight from [a press release](https://www.burlingtonvt.gov/Press/south-end-vandalism-spree-arrest-made) sent out by then-acting Burlington Police Chief Jon Murad. The release noted that Mafuta had accumulated more than 100 "police involvements," including one occasion in which he'd asked police to take him to jail so he could get his medication.
Mayor Miro Weinberger called on authorities to do more to "sustain the peace and safety that this community has long enjoyed."
George, who won reelection, said the police chief spoke dismissively of Mafuta's struggles during an administrative meeting a few days later. "Everybody has mental health issues these days," George said she heard him say.
In an email to *Seven Days*, Murad said he didn't recall his exact words. His point, he said, was that most people with mental illness don't harm others, and those who do must be treated in ways that also preserve public safety. Absent effective treatment, prison is sometimes the only option, Murad wrote. For too long, he added, Mafuta "was able to repeatedly victimize others."
---
### Staring Blankly
![A cell in Northwest State Correctional Facility - LUKE AWTRY](https://media1.sevendaysvt.com/sevendaysvt/imager/u/blog/39042214/crime1-7-8a09c2a2e9bdf588.jpg)
- Luke Awtry
- A cell in Northwest State Correctional Facility
The vandalism spree convinced Superior Court Judge John Pacht that efforts to help Mafuta in the community were not working.
He ordered Mafuta to be kept at the Vermont Psychiatric Care Hospital in Berlin until a psychiatrist could evaluate whether he needed a prolonged hospital stay. A few weeks later, a state psychiatrist found Mafuta fit to stand trial, and he was transferred to Northwest State Correctional Facility in St. Albans.
"Client will be better served by the correctional facility where he is currently held," a note in his Howard Center file concluded.
The Department of Corrections deemed Mafuta to have "[serious functional impairment](https://doc.vermont.gov/sites/correct/files/documents/SFIDesignationReport_DOC_09-21-2022.pdf)," a designation for prisoners with debilitating mental illness. Only 40 or so Vermont inmates meet the narrow criteria for the designation at any given time. Most are housed at Southern State Correctional Facility in Springfield, which maintains more extensive medical resources, including a residential psychiatric unit.
Mafuta was one of three inmates in St. Albans with the high-needs designation. He met periodically with social workers and a psychiatrist employed by the state's private medical contractor at the time, [VitalCore Health Strategies](https://vitalcorehs.com/), to plan treatment.
He was assigned to a general-population unit with narrow cells and a shared bathroom. Fellow inmates said they soon noticed him acting strangely. He told them he could hear their thoughts. Some days he stared blankly at the wall.
Even so, Mafuta was unusually "genuine," fellow inmate Daniel Mitchell said. The pair sometimes walked circles together around the unit. Mitchell learned that Mafuta didn't have family members who visited or money to buy items from the commissary. He sometimes asked to use other inmates' tablet computers so he could listen to music.
As winter set in, Mafuta was struggling. He asked Mitchell for help getting a job in prison, but Mitchell said the correctional officers didn't think Mafuta was reliable enough. He asked a psychiatrist for a higher dosage of his antipsychotic medication, but records show he was denied; his dosage had just been increased.
Some inmates worried. One spoke to a correctional officer, who told the inmate to put his concerns in writing, according to a court affidavit filed by a Vermont state trooper. The inmate wrote that the way Mafuta looked at him and others "has me thinking he's going to hurt someone really bad." But he never submitted the note.
On December 19, 2022, Mafuta's public defender and a Chittenden County prosecutor told a judge that they were nearing a deal to close his pending cases, so long as they could find him a place to live — typically a condition for release.
Later that day, Mafuta began screaming and throwing things inside his cell. He was taken to the segregation unit and placed on suicide watch because he said he planned to kill himself.
Prison officials returned Mafuta to the main unit the following day at his request, despite his refusal to take some of his medications, medical records show. "He was able to process what happened last night and create a plan," a VitalCore therapist wrote in an email to prison officials.
He was placed in Cell 17 — and assigned a new roommate.
---
### A Scream for Help
Jeff Hall, like Mafuta, had fallen into homelessness in the place where he grew up.
The 55-year-old had attended Burlington High School but did not graduate. He worked for a time stocking shelves at a grocery store but spent much of his adult life in trouble with the law.
His problems in recent years appeared to be intertwined with addiction. By last December, Hall was awaiting trial on several charges, including allegedly stealing a MacBook, $500 Gucci sunglasses and other items from a parked car. Police met the victim at City Hall Park, where she recovered some of her belongings from a cart Hall pushed around.
He had a mixed reputation in prison. One former cellmate recalled Hall fondly. The only frustration, the cellmate said, was Hall's insistence on watching every NASCAR race, even the monotonous qualifying laps. "Doesn't make sense to watch the race if you're not gonna watch the qualifier," Hall would say. Others said they knew Hall for his sticky fingers. He once managed to swipe a cup of Red Bull from a correctional officer's desk, Mitchell said, impressed. Hall's family, through an attorney, declined interview requests.
Prison officials were unaware of any trouble between Mafuta and Hall, according to court records. Four inmates interviewed for this story said the same.
But inmates said they were alarmed by Mafuta's state of mind following his brief time on suicide watch. As Mafuta walked with Mitchell on December 22, Mafuta's distress was obvious. And for the first time, according to Mitchell, his comments suggested violence.
"He was like, 'My voices keep telling me to hurt people ... I keep telling them I don't want to hurt anyone; I'm not a hurtful person,'" Mitchell recalled. "He kept trying to hold them back, basically."
Mitchell gave Mafuta scoops of instant grounds so his friend could make coffee.
Officers soon came to the unit to perform the afternoon head count, during which inmates are told to wait in their unlocked cells. Hall walked back to the one he shared with Mafuta. Seconds later, a scream for help escaped from behind the steel door.
Officers scrambled to find the source. Officer David Lumbra headed first for Cell 12, where he had heard the cellmates were not getting along. But the cries were several cells away.
As Lumbra continued his search, Mafuta walked out of his cell, expressionless, his hands and pants covered in blood, and sat at a nearby table, according to court records and accounts of inmates. The officer looked in, saw Hall on the floor and radioed for backup.
Mafuta sat quietly until officers handcuffed him and hauled him away. He was strip-searched and placed in a cell outfitted with a security camera.
Matt Engels, a longtime prison supervisor and trained EMT, shined a penlight into Hall's eyes. They were dilated and unresponsive, a sign of possible brain injury. An ambulance rushed Hall to the hospital, where he was placed in a medically induced coma. He would [die within three months](https://www.burlingtonfreepress.com/obituaries/bfp041179).
State troopers who investigated were escorted by prison staff to Cell 17, which had been cordoned off with evidence tape. They noted bloodstains on the floor and the edge of the metal bunk bed.
They also noticed a separate, lighter stain nearby — a cup of coffee spilled during the rush to aid Hall.
---
### 'He's Gonna Get Smoked'
![Mbyayenge "Robbie" Mafuta' - COURTESY](https://media2.sevendaysvt.com/sevendaysvt/imager/u/blog/39042216/crime1-9-c087a01baf25e06b.jpg)
- Courtesy
- Mbyayenge "Robbie" Mafuta'
In the days that followed the episode, Mafuta offered varying accounts that are hard to reconcile. He told a psychiatrist by phone that his voices hadn't instructed him to harm anyone. Instead, he knew Hall had been making disrespectful comments and stealing things from other inmates, "so I decided to handle the situation because I thought it was the right thing to do."
That conversation, a week after the attack, took place because corrections staff were concerned that Mafuta needed to be hospitalized; he was refusing his medication and had spent hours the previous day speaking to himself in a mirror. "I'm seeing shit and hearing shit all the time ... You are using my words," a security camera recorded him saying.
Two weeks later, a correctional officer overheard Mafuta speaking to inmates. They were laughing, and Mafuta didn't seem to understand how seriously he'd injured Hall. "What? He's still in the hospital? That's crazy," the officer heard Mafuta say. One of the inmates told investigators that Mafuta said he'd "spazzed out, came to and there was blood all over him."
Investigators have not offered evidence that Mafuta plotted the attack. No one claims to have seen what happened inside the cell. Mafuta declined to talk to the police, and his attorneys instructed him not to answer questions about the encounter during interviews with *Seven Days*.
In August, the state charged Mafuta with [second-degree murder](https://m.sevendaysvt.com/vermont/murder-charge-filed-against-man-accused-of-beating-cellmate/Content?oid=38845019). At his arraignment in St. Albans, Mafuta, who had grown a patchy beard and put on weight, looked older than his 22 years. Shackled and dressed in thin, red prison clothes, he sat quietly as his public defenders entered a not-guilty plea.
This was no longer in Burlington, where prosecutors in George's office had worked with defense attorneys to find ways to limit Mafuta's time behind bars. George had [established a track record](https://m.sevendaysvt.com/vermont/mentally-ill-or-criminal-dismissals-of-murder-cases-spark-firestorm/Content?oid=27715487) of choosing not to pursue murder charges when experts believed the defendant was insane.
Mafuta was flanked by two public officials who were continuing to enforce the law [despite their own alleged misdeeds](https://m.sevendaysvt.com/vermont/franklin-county-states-attorney-resigns-amid-impeachment-probe/Content?oid=38953384). To his left stood Sheriff John Grismore, whom voters elected even as he faces an assault charge for kicking a handcuffed detainee. To Mafuta's right sat Franklin County state's attorney John Lavoie, who at the time was facing impeachment proceedings before the Vermont legislature over his use of crass, racist and sexist language with his employees. Lavoie [submitted his resignation](https://m.sevendaysvt.com/vermont/franklin-county-states-attorney-resigns-amid-impeachment-probe/Content?oid=38953384) hours after Mafuta's arraignment. On Monday, Gov. Phil Scott appointed [former state prosecutor Bram Kranichfeld](https://m.sevendaysvt.com/vermont/prosecutor-turned-priest-named-franklin-county-states-attorney/Content?oid=39032465) as Lavoie's interim replacement.
If Mafuta is found not guilty, or has the charges dismissed because of his mental health, the state will then face another, politically charged question: what to do with him next.
Meantime, other questions surround the case, including whether Mafuta should have returned to general population from mental health watch so soon. The Department of Corrections reviewed its own handling of the matter, including decisions made by its health care contractor, and found no missteps, according to Corrections Commissioner Nick Deml. "There's really nothing in the record that would have led us to a different conclusion," he said.
Independent investigations are standard whenever someone dies in prison. But none was performed in this case because Hall was no longer in state custody when he died months later. Department leaders could have commissioned an independent report anyway but didn't.
Mitchell, Mafuta's prison friend, wonders whether Mafuta should have been incarcerated at all, given his need for psychiatric care. Even Deml acknowledges that his agency is relied on a lot — perhaps too much — to care for sick people.
"I feel like he's gonna get smoked and be in here even longer," Mitchell said, "when he should have never been in here in the first place."
Mafuta spoke to *Seven Days* for three hours over separate phone calls this summer. He frequently struggled to find his words but discussed his relationship with his father, his experiences at the hospital and the desperation he had experienced living on the street.
Asked what he needed during that time, he answered in the present tense, as if he were not sitting behind bars and could remain so for a long time to come.
"I need permanent housing, I need clothes, and I need a way of getting a job so I have money so I can pay for stuff," he said from Southern State Correctional Facility, where he has been held for most of this year in a restrictive unit. "I don't like waking up every day thinking I need to steal or I need to starve."
Mafuta also seemed to acknowledge, in a way he hasn't always, that if he were freed, he would not be able to rebuild his life alone.
"I just don't see myself going anywhere," he said, "if I have to do all this on my own."
A question weighs on his two close friends, Carpentier and Chibuzo: *Could I have done more?*
Chibuzo now lives in West Virginia with her husband. She still thinks about Mafuta every day.
"I still would put everything on it that he's not evil," she said. "I just think, clearly, there's something very, very wrong. And I think he's been trying to tell people."
Carpentier is starting her final semester of college, where she's studying psychology and criminal justice. Her memories of visiting Mafuta in motel rooms inspired her senior thesis: a study of how children in state custody can be better supported into adulthood.
During their final days together in Burlington, Carpentier said, they would sit in her car and she would try, the best way she knew, to get him to open up.
"Where's the kid I know, who always smiled and laughed?" she'd ask, encouragingly.
"Stuff happened, and it changed me," he'd tell her.
"That's pretty much all he would say."
The original print version of this article was headlined "From Room 37 to Cell 17 | A young man's path through the mental health care system led to prison — and a fatal encounter"
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# A corrupt Chicago cop destroyed hundreds of lives. Now victims want justice.
CHICAGO  JaJuan Nile was a joker, a picky eater and his mother's only son. Growing up, he dreamed of starting a landscaping business.
But he never got the chance. Instead, a run-in with a now-disgraced Chicago police officer put the 20-year-old behind bars for a crime he didn't commit. It changed the course of his life, his family said.  
Nile was charged with possession of cocaine in 2007 and sentenced to three years in prison. With a felony on his record, he was repeatedly denied jobs and apartments.   
Two years ago, just after he received his certificate of innocence and landed a job, the father of three young kids was fatally shot.  
"He never got to his full potential because of what happened to him. It definitely led him to do other things, led him to get discouraged," his younger sister, Shawntell Nile, told USA TODAY.
Nile was among nearly 200 people who have been cleared of charges tied to former Sgt. Ronald Watts and his Chicago Police Department team. It's the largest series of exonerations in the citys history, said Joshua Tepfer, a lawyer with the University of Chicago Law Schools Exoneration Project, which has represented most of the victims.  
For almost a decade, Watts and his team preyed on innocent people at the Ida B. Wells Homes public housing project, where they extorted money and planted drugs and guns, knowing their victims largely Black and low-income residents wouldn't be believed, said Cook County State's Attorney Kim Foxx.
"He was asking for people to pay a tax, if you will," said Foxx, who has repeatedly sent written statements and held news conferences on the misconduct allegations and the steps her office has taken to rectify the harm Watts and his team caused. "He really carried himself as the top dog in that neighborhood, and people who didn't comply had cases put on them."  
![A vacant lot is seen along Martin Luther King Drive where the Ida B. Wells Homes used to stand in Chicago, on Dec. 10, 2022.](https://www.gannett-cdn.com/presto/2022/12/13/USAT/af63eaf8-21c8-46f2-8d31-a7634d0ef7d9-XXX_ChicagoMassExoneration_15_dcb.jpg)
A vacant lot is seen along Martin Luther King Drive where the Ida B. Wells Homes used to stand in Chicago, on Dec. 10, 2022. Max Herman, USA TODAY
Watts, an 18-year veteran of the department, had vendettas against some people, Foxx said. Other times he targeted people just because "he could," she said.  
Local and federal law enforcement [were investigating allegations](https://loevy-content-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com/uploads/2022/08/COPA-Report-1087742.SRI_.pdf) of the team's corruption as early as 2004, according to a recently unveiled report from the city's Civilian Office of Police Accountability. That's the same year Watts won "Officer of the Month," according to court filings.  
But it wasn't until 2012 that Watts and a member of his crew, Kallatt Mohammed, [were arrested on federal charges](https://archives.fbi.gov/archives/chicago/press-releases/2012/chicago-police-sergeant-and-officer-charged-with-stealing-5-200-from-individual-they-believed-was-transporting-drug-proceeds) of stealing $5,200 in government funds from an undercover informant. They pleaded guilty and were sentenced to 22 and 18 months, respectively.  
Despite the convictions, local officials did not take action for the hundreds of people who had been arrested by Watts. That is until one victim, Clarissa Glenn, pressed the issue.  
!["Some communities, doors close on us, and you dont know where to turn," said Clarissa Glenn, 52. She stands on the corner of East 37th Street and South Rhodes Avenue near the former Ida B. Wells Homes Extension where she was once lived. Dec. 10, 2022](https://www.gannett-cdn.com/presto/2022/12/13/USAT/b6a25848-ab6c-4378-8d5b-27977e3c015c-XXX_ChicagoMassExoneration_09_dcb.jpg)
"Some communities, doors close on us, and you dont know where to turn," said Clarissa Glenn, 52. She stands on the corner of East 37th Street and South Rhodes Avenue near the former Ida B. Wells Homes Extension where she was once lived. Dec. 10, 2022 Max Herman, USA TODAY
Spurred by Glenn, lawyers with the Exoneration Project and attorney Joel Flaxman began vetting victims' cases and bringing them to the Cook County State's Attorney's office in 2016. The office launched a comprehensive review of cases the following year, and prosecutors have moved to vacate the convictions in batches through a patchwork of litigation and cooperation with attorneys working on behalf of the victims. 
Since then, prosecutors have moved to dismiss at least 226 convictions and juvenile adjudications connected to Watts and his team. Collectively, the wrongful prosecutions cost 183 people sentences of 459 years in prison (not including pretrial detention), plus 57 probation and 10 boot camp sentences.
An Illinois Court of Claims judge described the scandal as "one of the most staggering cases of police corruption" in Chicago history and said "Watts and his team of police officers ran what can only be described as a criminal enterprise right out of the movie 'Training Day.'" A Cook County Circuit Court judge said officers actions resulted in "wrongful convictions." And an Illinois Appellate Court ruling detailed how "corrupt" officers fabricated a case to secure a false conviction.
### About this story
USA TODAY interviewed six people whose lives were upended by Watts and his crew. In the course of securing exonerations, lawyers for the victims have filed a host of documents alleging Watts and other officers fabricated cases. USA TODAY reviewed dozens of the documents, interviewed exonerees and attorneys, and returned to the scene of the since-demolished housing project on Chicagos South Side.
- **[How victims lives were forever changed](https://www.usatoday.com/in-depth/news/nation/2023/02/05/chicago-police-ronald-watts-exoneration-cases/10470598002/#this-ruined-my)**
- **[Whats next in the fight for justice](https://www.usatoday.com/in-depth/news/nation/2023/02/05/chicago-police-ronald-watts-exoneration-cases/10470598002/#whats-next-in)**
Almost every exoneree has now filed a federal civil rights lawsuit arguing their constitutional rights were violated by Watts, his team and the city of Chicago, Tepfer said.
"It's important to step back and just realize how incredibly awful this is, how sickening it is, and the impact it has not just on these individuals but on the community trust," Tepfer said.
Asked about the exonerations, an attorney for Watts, Thomas Glasgow, said, "I do not believe Mr. Watts has any comment regarding this matter." Watts, 59, is no longer an officer and lives in Arizona. 
In responses filed in court to the federal cases, Watts and other officers have denied they fabricated cases. 
As the city pours millions into legal battles, Watts' victims are still searching for justice.  
Nile won't get that chance. Instead, his sister and children are left with lockets filled with his ashes and an urn on the mantle when his family gathers for their monthly Sunday dinners.  
"I just want people to at least step in our shoes and see how it affected our lives not only my brother, but us as well," Shawntell Nile said. "It's an ongoing issue that needs to be addressed."
![Shawntell Nile, 33, wears a locket containing her late brother JaJuans ashes near the former Ida B. Wells Homes site in Chicago where he lived, on Dec. 10, 2022. JaJuan received a certificate of innocence in 2020.](https://www.gannett-cdn.com/presto/2022/12/13/USAT/4b3a3a06-7192-4d66-a4b9-915f54674ebc-XXX_ChicagoMassExoneration_20_dcb.jpg)
Shawntell Nile, 33, wears a locket containing her late brother JaJuans ashes near the former Ida B. Wells Homes site in Chicago where he lived, on Dec. 10, 2022. JaJuan received a certificate of innocence in 2020. Max Herman, USA TODAY
![This ruined my life](https://www.gannett-cdn.com/indepth-static-assets/uploads/master/10470598002/36becfc6-d67e-4268-9219-9b939d9652c8-corrupt-line.jpg?width=450)
In January 2003, Larry Lomax's younger brother was battling thyroid cancer and needed money. So Lomax, then 45 and a father of four, finished up work at his factory job and took the train more than an hour from Zion, Illinois, to the Ida B. Wells housing project to bring him some cash.
But he never had the chance to give his brother the money.
Lomax was walking up the ramp of his brother's building when officers grabbed him from behind, beat him, knocked out some of his teeth and took the money, according to Lomax's affidavit  a written statement Lomax made to Cook County Circuit Court under oath in his exoneration case.
![Larry Lomax, 65, sits inside his apartment in Waukegan, Illinois, on Dec. 11, 2022.](https://www.gannett-cdn.com/presto/2022/12/13/USAT/cec59bef-310a-4f1f-89ac-2c67ff446b20-XXX_ChicagoMassExoneration_04_dcb.jpg)
Larry Lomax, 65, sits inside his apartment in Waukegan, Illinois, on Dec. 11, 2022. Max Herman, USA TODAY
At the police station, Lomax asked an officer what hed been charged with.
"Watts told me that if I would say that the guys I was arrested with had been selling drugs and that I had seen them with the drugs, they would let me go," Lomax said in the affidavit.
He refused and was charged with possession of heroin. He told his public defender he had been framed, but the attorney recommended he take a plea deal, Lomax said. He spent two months in jail and was sentenced to two years probation.
![A photo at the home of Larry Lomax in Waukegan, Illinois, shows Lomax and his brothers at his mothers home in Jackson, Mississippi, in 1995.](https://www.gannett-cdn.com/presto/2022/12/13/USAT/fb1cbe93-deb6-41f4-9ecf-7aef3cd52f7e-XXX_ChicagoMassExoneration_06_dcb.jpg)
A photo at the home of Larry Lomax in Waukegan, Illinois, shows Lomax and his brothers at his mothers home in Jackson, Mississippi, in 1995. Max Herman, USA TODAY
Lomax's brother died of cancer less than a year after the arrest. He lost his job. He couldn't afford his car or rent. And when his youngest daughter was born in 2006, a family member had to take custody of her.
Lomax, who now lives in Waukegan, Illinois, said he eventually found work through Catholic Charities. He joined a therapy group and went every Friday for years.
"This ruined my life," he said. "The thing that hurt me most is I didnt have nothing to do with this."
Lomax's conviction was vacated in 2018, and he received a certificate of innocence. He hopes to see Watts and his team brought to court someday.
"They got off with a slap on the wrist," he said.
![I still havent physically recovered](https://www.gannett-cdn.com/indepth-static-assets/uploads/master/10470598002/36becfc6-d67e-4268-9219-9b939d9652c8-corrupt-line.jpg?width=450)
Derrick Mapp still feels the pain in his side from the day in April 2006 that Watts and another officer punched his ribs over and over again, causing his left lung to collapse.
Mapp was returning to his mother's apartment when Watts and another officer grabbed him, started questioning him about "where the stuff was" and dragged him to the incinerator room, according to an affidavit in his exoneration case.
"They punched on me, punched on me," said Mapp, 49, who still lives on Chicago's South Side. "I told them I didnt know, so they cuffed me."
![Derrick Mapp, 49, sits at his mothers home in the Calumet Heights neighborhood of Chicago on Dec. 11, 2022.](https://www.gannett-cdn.com/presto/2022/12/13/USAT/11a78897-edf6-4f03-b82e-eb9061a1fb99-XXX_ChicagoMassExoneration_01_dcb.jpg)
Derrick Mapp, 49, sits at his mothers home in the Calumet Heights neighborhood of Chicago on Dec. 11, 2022. Max Herman, USA TODAY
Mapp, then 33, was struggling to breathe when he was taken to county jail, the affidavit said. He was later diagnosed with the collapsed lung and spent more than two months in the hospital, according to hospital records.
Mapp was charged with a felony drug crime. He took a plea deal, was sentenced to four years and was detained about 18 months, leaving his girlfriend alone with their two sons, 11 and 12.
Mapp had been the breadwinner of his family, and he'd worked since he was a kid. But when he got out of jail, he couldn't find a job.
"People didn't trust me," he said, adding, "everything just went backward."
Mapp's conviction was vacated in 2020, and he received a certificate of innocence in 2021.
Derrick Mapp
> I still havent physically recovered. I still get scared when I see the police, and that happens often.
Now, Mapp said he gets by on "a little side work" in his neighborhood. He still can't sleep some nights. He tosses and turns.
He's married and has two grandkids. He loves to take them to the park to ride their bikes and throw a baseball. But he doesn't travel too far from home — he's constantly looking over his shoulder and listening for sirens.
"I still havent physically recovered," Mapp said. "I still get scared when I see the police, and that happens often."
!['A lie ruined me'](https://www.gannett-cdn.com/indepth-static-assets/uploads/master/10470598002/36becfc6-d67e-4268-9219-9b939d9652c8-corrupt-line.jpg?width=450)
Pregnant and with a 2-year-old daughter at home, Crystal Allen had to trudge through the snow and travel over an hour to get to her probation officer in Chicago. 
She was framed by Watts on felony drug charges in 2007 not once, but twice, according to affidavits in her exoneration cases  and was sentenced to two years of probation in a city where she no longer lived.
"It was a whole nightmare," Allen recalled, crying. "And he was getting away with it."
![Crystal Allen, 37, stands outside her home in Lafayette, Indiana, on Dec. 13, 2022.](https://www.gannett-cdn.com/presto/2022/12/13/USAT/19e792de-0863-44e2-a4c0-3f29797751b1-DSCF9369.JPG)
Crystal Allen, 37, stands outside her home in Lafayette, Indiana, on Dec. 13, 2022. Grace Hauck, USA TODAY
In April 2007 when Allen was 22, she was at a relative's apartment to get some belongings for her move to Indiana. She heard a knock on the door, and Watts and another officer barged in, according to an affidavit. When the officers began questioning her, Allen said she gave them the receipt of a clothing store she had just visited to show she had not been in the building long.
"I still ended up going to jail," said Allen, now 37. "I didnt even know what the charges were."
Crystal Allen
> A lie ruined me my whole life, my childrens lives.
Watts and his team arrested Allen again that July while she was out on bond. She pleaded guilty to both charges. "My family didn't really have money for me to fight it," she said.
The felony convictions destroyed her relationship with her grandmother and caused her to lose her housing assistance and food stamps, Allen said.
"A lie ruined me  my whole life, my childrens lives," she said.
Last year, Allen's convictions were vacated, and she received certificates of innocence. She rarely returns to Chicago. At home in Lafayette, Indiana, Allen feels more at peace. She has five kids and got married in 2019. She's largely a stay-home mom and works for DoorDash and Walmart delivery to make ends meet.
She thinks about how more than a dozen members of Watts' crew still receive a paycheck from the Chicago Police Department. "I dont think that that's fair," she said. 
![I didnt get a chance to go to their funerals or say goodbye](https://www.gannett-cdn.com/indepth-static-assets/uploads/master/10470598002/36becfc6-d67e-4268-9219-9b939d9652c8-corrupt-line.jpg?width=450)
Theodore "Ed" Wilkins, 42, still wakes to cold sweats after nightmares about the first time Watts put drugs on him. He was 23 in June 2003 and preparing to testify to the innocence of a man Watts had framed.
That's when Watts fabricated a heroin case against Wilkins, according to an affidavit in his exoneration case.
Wilkins was falsely arrested by Watts and his crew two more times through 2007 and cumulatively spent nearly four years in custody. He had two kids at the time, and his girlfriend left him, he said.
Later, Wilkins pleaded guilty to separate charges unrelated to Watts.  Because of his prior convictions, prosecutors were able to charge Wilkins with a more serious class of felony that carries harsher punishment. He was sentenced to nine years in prison and three years mandatory supervised release.
"I didnt know they were going to use the Watts cases to upgrade the charges against me," he said. "Its a doubling effect, a trickling down of nothing good."
![Ed Wilkins, 42, sits across from the former Ida B. Wells Homes site in Chicago where he once lived, on Dec. 10, 2022.](https://www.gannett-cdn.com/presto/2022/12/13/USAT/e0dc9b53-8946-457f-b423-16b6860d1ffa-XXX_ChicagoMassExoneration_11_dcb.jpg)
Ed Wilkins, 42, sits across from the former Ida B. Wells Homes site in Chicago where he once lived, on Dec. 10, 2022. Max Herman, USA TODAY
While he was incarcerated, Wilkins said numerous loved ones passed away, including his uncle, cousins and grandmother his mother figure and best friend.
"I didnt get a chance to go to their funerals or say goodbye," Wilkins said.
Wilkins was in prison when he started the exoneration process is 2017. His first Watts convictions was vacated in February 2022, weeks before he was set to be released.
He received certificates of innocence in April, a relief not only for him but his three kids, ages 10, 18 and 21.  
"The incarcerations have affected them as well," he said. "They werent able to see me like they wanted to."
![I was trying to do something right](https://www.gannett-cdn.com/indepth-static-assets/uploads/master/10470598002/36becfc6-d67e-4268-9219-9b939d9652c8-corrupt-line.jpg?width=450)
Chris Jones forever regrets going home in May 2008 to visit his mother and friends at the housing project where he grew up. The 27-year-old had a young daughter and had just moved in with his aunt in a new area of the city.
He wanted a fresh start. But he didn't get one.
"As soon as I came outside, I got arrested. And I lost a year of my life," said Jones, who still lives on the South Side.
Unlike Watt's typical case, it wasn't just a drug charge. This time, it included a gun.
![Chris Jones sits on the back stoop of his home in the Park Manor neighborhood of Chicago on Dec. 11, 2022.](https://www.gannett-cdn.com/presto/2022/12/13/USAT/09d6a5b8-910f-4c40-919a-2b829105a720-DSCF9279_1.JPG)
Chris Jones sits on the back stoop of his home in the Park Manor neighborhood of Chicago on Dec. 11, 2022. Grace Hauck, USA TODAY
That day, Jones walked out of his mother's building and saw a group of people gathered, according to an affidavit in his exoneration case. Watts and other officers arrived, detained the group  including Jones  and took them to the station.
At the station, one of the officers "pulled a box out from under one of their desks," Jones' affidavit said. Watts opened it, and a number of "small baggies" tumbled out. Meanwhile, other officers searched the home of Jones' mother, where they claimed to have found a gun.
Jones was charged with manufacturing and delivery of heroin and possession of a gun. Prosecutors later dropped the drug charges. 
"I still dont know why he did it to me," Jones said.
Jones spent 105 days in pre-trial custody and 234 days in prison, followed by two years of parole. 
"I wish I had just stayed in my aunts house," Jones said. "I'm not saying Im an angel. Ive done my wrongdoings. But I was trying to do something right."
Chris Jones
> I still dont know why he did it to me. These are the people who are supposed to serve and protect us.
Like the handful of other Watts victims charged with gun crimes, Jones was labeled a violent felon. Because of that, he's struggled to get jobs and [obtain a passport](https://www.usatoday.com/story/travel/2022/06/09/felon-obtain-passport/7534161001/). 
After more than four years of waiting, Jones's conviction was vacated in October. He recently found work as a pawn broker and is expecting a fourth child.
Jones said he is forever distrustful of police he wouldn't even call for help if someone were to break into his house. He teaches his kids to be wary, too.
With his freedom restored, Jones hopes to get a passport and take his family on vacation.
"I have that choice now."
![I was an open target](https://www.gannett-cdn.com/indepth-static-assets/uploads/master/10470598002/36becfc6-d67e-4268-9219-9b939d9652c8-corrupt-line.jpg?width=450)
Clarissa Glenn wouldn't stand for Watts' lies.
Between 2004 and 2006, Watts and his crew falsely arrested Glenn's boyfriend multiple times when he refused to pay bribes, according to the affidavits of Glenn and her then-boyfriend in their exoneration cases. 
So Glenn reported the crimes to the office that investigates police misconduct. But the officers got wind of the report, according to the affidavits.
"I was an open target," said Glenn, now 51.
![Clarissa Glenn, 52, stands on the corner of 37th Street and South Rhodes Avenue near the former Ida B. Wells Homes Extension in Chicago where she was once lived, on Dec. 10, 2022.](https://www.gannett-cdn.com/presto/2022/12/13/USAT/8868a90d-7197-4e7c-8988-ea248efbc259-XXX_ChicagoMassExoneration_10_dcb.jpg)
Clarissa Glenn, 52, stands on the corner of 37th Street and South Rhodes Avenue near the former Ida B. Wells Homes Extension in Chicago where she was once lived, on Dec. 10, 2022. Max Herman, USA TODAY
In retaliation, Watts and his crew framed Glenn and her partner, Ben Baker, for a drug case in December 2005, according to Glenn's affidavit. They had three sons at the time.
"My boys were looking out the window seeing me placed in handcuffs and in a police car," she said.
Fearful for the fate of their children, Glenn said she and Baker took a plea deal that sentenced Glenn to one year probation and Baker to four years in prison.
Two of their sons had received scholarships to college. But after the convictions, the boys had to come home to work, she said.
"I'd never been in trouble with the law. I did everything I was supposed to do … and the doors were closed in my face," Glenn said. "No one helped. No one listened. I was lost."
So Glenn contacted her alderman, the Cook County state's attorney and three lawyers to try to expose Watts, clear her name and bring Baker home. Ultimately, she connected the FBI with the informant who brought Watts down.
Clarissa Glenn
> Id never been in trouble with the law. I did everything I was supposed to do … and the doors were closed in my face. No one helped. No one listened. I was lost.
Glenn received a pardon from the governor of Illinois in 2015. The next year, Glenn's and Baker's cases were vacated, and Baker was released from prison after more than a decade of incarceration. Baker received a certificate of innocence in 2016 and Glenn in 2018.
Glenn said having her named cleared is a "blessing." But she's affected by the Watts ordeal every day.
"What he has done to me ... he broke me," Glenn said, crying. "And there's no way to repair that."
![Whats next in the fight for justice](https://www.gannett-cdn.com/indepth-static-assets/uploads/master/10470598002/36becfc6-d67e-4268-9219-9b939d9652c8-corrupt-line.jpg?width=450)
More than six years since the exonerations began, a handful of Watts' victims are still waiting to have their convictions vacated.
In 2017, the Chicago Police Department placed 15 officers associated with Watts on desk duty. Asked by USA TODAY for an update, department spokesperson Don Terry named the officers and said at least five have resigned since 2018, one was relieved of police powers in October, and nine remain active with the department.
The recent city report filed in 2021 and [made public last year](https://loevy-content-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com/uploads/2022/08/COPA-Report-1087742.SRI_.pdf) following a Freedom of Information Act lawsuit recommended the firing of one of Watts' team members for submitting false reports and providing false testimony in the mid-2000s. The officer, Alvin Jones, was promoted in 2014. He resigned in May.
Despite the exonerations, officers named in the federal suits continue to maintain their innocence in responses filed in court. 
"I get a lot of questions from people like, 'Why aren't these cops in jail?'" Tepfer said. "I think those are good questions to ask."
Watts moved to Las Vegas in 2013, according to court filings. He now lives in Arizona.
Beyond Watts and the officer charged in 2012, no other officer on Watts' team has been criminally charged. At least 10 officers [have been barred](https://www.wbez.org/stories/top-cop-10-officers-banned-as-witnesses-remain-fit-for-police-powers/f861c69c-e15f-4766-abc8-a7419255ae9b) from testifying for the Cook County States Attorneys office in criminal cases since 2017. The officers are "not credible," Foxx said.
Foxx said her office is confronting the role it played in the scandal and is reviewing its policies for approving charges in the hopes of preventing future wrongful convictions. But she said the statute of limitations precludes her from charging Watts and the other officers.
"The righteous anger about this is that (Watts) did inflict all of this harm that we all know that he has done and has eluded the ultimate responsibility not just for shaking down that one informant but for literally these hundreds of people," Foxx said.
![Cook County State's Attorney Kim Foxx speaks at a news conference, in Chicago on Feb. 22, 2019.](https://www.gannett-cdn.com/presto/2022/12/14/USAT/600c4d02-7a7e-4c60-8aab-fe4dd82dcbe6-AP19102668123541.jpg)
Cook County State's Attorney Kim Foxx speaks at a news conference, in Chicago on Feb. 22, 2019. Kiichiro Sato, AP
Victims and their families will never be made whole, Foxx said. "But there's something that is owed to them," she said.
Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot has said [Watts "shattered" lives](https://twitter.com/LoriLightfoot/status/1095120116742791168). Her office directed USA TODAY's requests for comment to the Chicago Police Department, which declined to comment further. The Cook County Public Defender's office also declined comment.
Meanwhile, the federal civil rights cases are still in fact-finding, and the officers have maintained their innocence in court filings.
!["This is something that was done to my brother," said Shawntell Nile, 33, who blames Watts and his crew for stealing her brother's life. "We have to keep fighting for him."](https://www.gannett-cdn.com/presto/2022/12/13/USAT/e1c3397c-7ddf-451e-be2f-e375e5a25673-XXX_ChicagoMassExoneration_16_dcb.jpg)
"This is something that was done to my brother," said Shawntell Nile, 33, who blames Watts and his crew for stealing her brother's life. "We have to keep fighting for him." Max Herman, USA TODAY
Exonerees who spoke with USA TODAY said the city needs to take accountability for the pain Watts and his team inflicted. There's precedent for it: Chicago [has paid reparations](https://www.chicagotribune.com/la-na-nn-chicago-police-torture-20150506-story.html) to victims of police torture in the past.
"Nobody disputes from Lori Lightfoot to the state's Attorney's Office, the federal government that these officers were corrupt," Tepfer said. "And if you can't even do anything about that where no one even disputes it why should the community trust you?"
*According to the Chicago Police Department, the nine officers associated with Watts who remain on the force are: Brian Bolton, Miguel Cabrales, Robert Gonzalez, Manuel Leano, Lamonica Lewis, Douglas Nichols Jr., Calvin Ridgell Jr., Gerome Summers Jr. and John Rodriguez.*
*The five officers who resigned are: Alvin Jones, Darryl Edwards, Kenneth Young Jr., Matthew Cadman and Michael Spaargaren. Elsworth Smith Jr. was relieved of police powers.*
*The 10 officers barred from testifying for the Cook County State's Attorney's Office are: Bolton, Edwards, Gonzalez, Jones, Leano, Lewis, Nichols, Ridgell, Summers and Young.*
*All of the officers have been named in numerous federal suits. Attorneys representing some of the officers directed USA TODAY requests for comment to the city of Chicago, which again declined to comment. In responses filed in court, the officers deny allegations of wrongdoing.* 
*Reach out to criminal justice reporter Grace Hauck at [ghauck@usatoday.com](mailto:ghauck@usatoday.com), or follow her on Twitter at [@grace\_hauck](https://twitter.com/grace_hauck).*
Published 10:05 am UTC Feb. 5, 2023 Updated 9:04 pm UTC Feb. 8, 2023
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# A crumbling, long-forgotten statue with an unusual erect phallus might be a Michelangelo. Renaissance scholars want hard evidence.
Some 400 years ago, Cardinal Ludovico Ludovisi — whose family would produce two popes, more than a dozen cardinals, and a smattering of statesmen — bought what became known as the Villa Ludovisi from Italy's Orsini family. A sprawling estate on the outskirts of Rome, it included an art collection that drew admirers from across Europe and, most notably, Caravaggio's only ceiling mural.
In a place of honor was a life-size marble statue of the Greek god Pan with a wicked expression, a forked beard, and an 8-inch erect penis leaning left. The cardinal, it appears, built a pillared shrine for it between two majestic cypress trees.
Over the centuries, new research has found, the Ludovisi family's attitude toward the marble god changed. A satyr with an ugly grimace and an imposing phallus? What would the neighbors think?
A sculpted fig leaf covering the uncircumcised penis was last seen in 1885. A row of hedges was planted in front of the statue, allowing it to recede out of view.
By the second half of the 20th century, the hedges were gone and a tree was planted in front of the statue. Artists and scholars continued to copy and study the works of the villa, but the statue left the public record for a century, not drawn or photographed between 1885 and 1985. Pan, the Greek god of woodlands and lust, was left to waste away behind a tree.
When Corey Brennan, a classics professor at Rutgers University, visited the property for the first time, in spring 2010, he didn't know what to do with the statue. The villa's steward at the time, Princess Rita Jenrette Boncompagni Ludovisi, had cleared away the tree a couple of years earlier and brought the sculpture back into public view.
She said the statue was created by Michelangelo Buonarroti, the Renaissance master who painted the Sistine Chapel and etched David out of marble before his 1564 death. She learned this from her husband, Nicolò, who heard it from his grandfather Francesco Boncompagni Ludovisi, whose "depth of historical information, handed down from generation to generation, always is proven to be historically correct and consistent," Princess Rita told Insider.
The statue's provenance was widely accepted by the 1830s, but a group of German scholars later in the 19th century had cast doubt on the attribution. When, in July 2022, a student of Brennan's, Hatice Köroglu Çam, said she was a Michelangelo fanatic, he turned the question over to her.
"See what you can do with it," he recalled telling her.
Çam took on the assignment with relish. Digging into the estate's archives and other historical documents, she found centuries-old private sketches of the statue and correspondences and journal entries describing it.
Over time, the elements had beaten the statue, whittling away some of its fingernails, softening its facial features, and receding the satyr's hairline. But in older sketches, those aspects are more sharply drawn.
The more Çam looked, the more she was convinced the statue was created by the master himself.
## The statue is stuck outdoors amid a messy family dispute over the property
Çam's identification of the statue as a bona fide Michelangelo, argued over the past year and a half in [a four-part, 28,000-word treatise](https://villaludovisi.org/2023/05/05/a-new-self-portrait-of-michelangelo-the-statue-of-pan-at-the-casino-dellaurora-in-rome-part-iv-physical-condition-conservation-mandates/) on Brennan's website dedicated to the history of the Villa Ludovisi comes amid a bitter dispute over what will happen to the opulent property and all its stories.
In 1988, the villa had been passed on to Prince Nicolò Boncompagni Ludovisi, a Roman noble and the heir to the villa.
Fifteen years later, he met Jenrette, who had previously lived as a US Republican Party operative, a congressman's spouse, an author of a tell-all memoir about being the ex-wife of a congressman who cheated on her, a Harvard Business School alumna, and a real-estate mogul. At the time, the prince wanted to develop a hotel, and [a mutual friend asked her to help out](https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2011/11/28/the-renovation-rita-jenrette-princess-italy).
They married in 2009, and the newly named Princess Rita spent a decade and millions of dollars cataloging, cleaning, restoring, and studying the property's artwork and architecture. She brought on Brennan to help bring the villa to its former glory.
The prince left the villa to his wife in his will. But after his death in 2018, his three sons from a previous marriage disputed her ownership. A messy inheritance conflict ensued, complicated by the Italian Culture Ministry's legal control over many of its treasures. Çam got to study the Ludovisi Pan, as the sculpture is known, in July 2022, just months before [the princess was evicted from the property](https://nypost.com/2023/05/13/playboy-princess-i-lost-500m-palace-in-bitter-royal-feud/).
To help settle the estate dispute, an Italian court ordered the property to go up for auction in January 2022, first at $546 million. The Ludovisi Pan, if it's really a Michelangelo, could be worth as much as $100 million, according to Brennan, who noted that [one of the artist's drawings sold last year for $21 million](https://news.artnet.com/market/michelangelo-drawing-breaks-record-2117046). The Caravaggio mural alone, experts opined, was worth $360 million. (The princess [once described the property as](https://www.tatler.com/article/caravaggio-ceiling-fresco-italian-villa-aurora-471-million-ludovisi-family) "a Caravaggio with a house thrown in.")
Hosted on a janky Italian government website alongside apartments and tennis courts, in need of an estimated $11 million in repairs, and with the provision that the Italian Justice Ministry could swoop in and force a sale to the Culture Ministry anyway, the villa attracted no bidders. Five more auctions, with prices successively revised downward, were also unsuccessful.
A seventh auction, with the asking price lowered to $122 million, was scheduled to begin in June. But over the summer, Princess Rita and her stepchildren came to an agreement where they'd put more money into sprucing up the villa and auction it privately. The group hopes to partner with an organization such as Sotheby's or Christie's to sell it properly.
The sale will likely still be difficult. Only a handful of prospective buyers could pay a high price for the villa and provide the necessary upkeep. Some cultural treasures within the property — like the Caravaggio — are physically immovable. And even if the Italian government doesn't ultimately purchase the property, it still has some discretion over how most of the artwork, including the Ludovisi Pan, can be moved or restored. The villa has 40,000 square feet of indoor space, but officials have refused to allow the statue to be moved indoors, where Brennan and Çam — who is now pursuing an art-history doctorate at Temple University — say it needs to be to protect it from further damage. The princess told Insider she hoped a buyer would appreciate the villa's treasures, including the Pan, newly uncovered frescoes, and what she said were the remains of Julius Caesar's estate "where he romanced Cleopatra."
"Now that all heirs have signed a rapprochement, I can only hope that someone purchases our home who appreciates all we have discovered therein, from the archive, to which I have devoted two decades of my life," she said.
The mainstream press has already accepted the Pan statue's attribution to the Renaissance master. [The New Yorker described it](https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2011/11/28/the-renovation-rita-jenrette-princess-italy) as "a statue of Pan by Michelangelo" in 2011 without qualification. CBS News, visiting it in 2017, [said it was a Michelangelo sculpture "in all his glory."](https://www.cbsnews.com/news/principessa-rita-a-fairytale-life/) Earlier this year, [CNN said](https://www.cnn.com/2023/04/20/europe/texas-rita-jenrette-boncompagni-evicted-intl/index.html) it was "recently unearthed" as a Michelangelo. The [New York Post called it](https://nypost.com/2023/05/13/playboy-princess-i-lost-500m-palace-in-bitter-royal-feud/) one of his "masterpieces."
Michelangelo scholars are more skeptical.
William E. Wallace, an author or editor of eight books about the Renaissance artist, viewed the statue on a Jenrette-led tour in 2015 with a group of conservationists**.** He told Insider the sculpture was interesting but "not a great thing." The evidence that Michelangelo created it, he said, simply isn't there.
"They're hopeful that it's a Michelangelo because it'll sell for $50 million. If it's a garden sculpture by nobody, it's $5,000," Wallace said. "So there's a big difference by putting the name like Michelangelo on it. But there's absolutely no evidence whatsoever that he has anything to do with this object."
Whether further examination determines it's a Michelangelo or not, there's no question it's an important sculpture that needs further preservation and study, Brennan said.
"Either way, it's an understudied 16th-century sculpture that needs to come out of the elements," he said.
In its current state, the statue has literally lost its luster. The marble has turned dull. Apparent attempted repairs in previous years have left holes and rusting metal pieces in its face and neck. Cracks are forming on the right testicle.
"There are a lot of cracks, a lot of holes, a lot of metal pieces," Çam said. "But it has a lot of secrets. And it is melting. It's melting in front of the world."
## The family was embarrassed by the phallus, Çam says
For some time, Çam found in her research, visitors to the Villa Aurora, the most prominent part of the Villa Ludovisi, assumed the statue was from ancient Rome.
The earliest reference to it in the Ludovisi archives is in a January 1633 inventory. In the early 1700s, it was cataloged alongside other statues on the property that were thousands of years, not decades, old. It left an impression on Francis Mortoft, who visited the property in 1659. "Wee saw a very ridiculous statue of A satyr, which canot but stir up any man to much laughter in looking on such a Rediculous piece, but yet very excellently well made," he wrote in his journal.
By the mid-1700s, something had changed. Visitors had generally understood that the sculpture was attributed to Michelangelo, according to records unearthed by Çam, even if they thought it wasn't his best.
Writing in his private notes in 1756, Johann Joachim Winckelmann, widely considered the founder of the field of art history, [identified it](https://villaludovisi.org/2023/05/05/a-new-self-portrait-of-michelangelo-the-statue-of-pan-at-the-casino-dellaurora-in-rome-part-iv-physical-condition-conservation-mandates/) as part of "the school of Michelangelo." The Swiss painter and writer Henry Fuseli believed it to *predate* Michelangelo, theorizing it influenced Michelangelo's sculpture of Moses.
Throughout the first half of the 19th century, [visitors generally agreed Michelangelo himself created it](https://villaludovisi.org/2022/11/05/a-new-self-portrait-of-michelangelo-the-statue-of-pan-at-the-casino-dellaurora-in-rome-part-iii-reception/). [Çam found in her research](https://villaludovisi.org/2022/11/05/a-new-self-portrait-of-michelangelo-the-statue-of-pan-at-the-casino-dellaurora-in-rome-part-iii-reception/) that the exceptions were three German scholars who visited between 1836 and 1880s and considered it not a genuine Michelangelo, if "Michelangelo-esque."
The Germans didn't give reasons for their conclusion. Victor Coonin, a professor of Italian Renaissance art at Rhodes College, offered one: It doesn't have that Michelangelo je ne sais quoi.
The Ludovisi Pan is "a wonderful, delightful statue" but is "a little bit lifeless," Coonin said. In his works, Michelangelo investigated his subjects, interested in what makes them profound or beautiful, and invited the viewers of his work into that process. The Ludovisi Pan is not the work of an artist engaged in that kind of exploration, Coonin said.
"That's part of what makes Michelangelo, Michelangelo — that it's about something more than what it appears to be," Coonin said. "And this Pan looks to me rather to be what it purports to be."
The statue does not, at first glance, look like a lot of Michelangelo's other sculptures, especially the full-scale ones. They are typically religious figures in the Christian tradition; their faces look like they've been struck by a heavenly light, in poses that inspire reverence. The Ludovisi Pan stares you down with a cruel laugh, provoking you while resting at ease.
Yet, Çam said, the details are unmistakable.
Take a look at the statue's right hand, she said, which is virtually identical to the right hand on Michelangelo's sculpture of Moses, down to the veins shaped in a diamond pattern. The index and middle fingers are spaced in the same way, she wrote, and the Pan's fingers are buried into the pelt over his shoulder in the same way Moses' is buried into his tangled beard.
The Pan statue, Çam said, also resembles Michelangelo's titanic portrait of David. Each stands in almost the same pose, slightly shifting its weight on the right leg, which is supported by a marble-carved tree stump.
Most compellingly, the Ludovisi Pan appears to be not just any ordinary sculpture by Michelangelo but a self-portrait, Çam said.
She came to that conclusion while looking at other works considered to be Michelangelo's self-portraits, including a mask in his 1533 drawing "The Dream of Human Life." 
"I thought maybe this is Michelangelo's self-portrait because it's almost identical," she told Insider.
Like the artist, the Pan statue has a forked beard, a full lower lip, and "a flattened and broken nose," Çam said. And in [a series of illustrations of grotesque figures](https://villaludovisi.org/2022/09/12/a-new-self-portrait-of-michelangelo-the-statue-of-pan-at-the-casino-dellaurora-in-rome-part-ii-testimonia-sketches-earlier-inventories/) held in Frankfurt's Städel Museum, Michelangelo drew a faun, a half-human, half-goat beast, with a face that looks very similar to the Ludovisi Pan's.
"The depiction of the eyes, the shape of the eyebrows, and the treatment of the lower forehead between the eyebrows are the same," Çam wrote. "Significantly, the long, broken, and wide-shaped nose and wide-shaped nostrils are almost identical."
The ravages of time have made those similarities less clear. But they are striking, Çam told Insider, in early illustrations and photographs of the Pan that she discovered in the Ludovisi family's archives, made when the statue's features were in better condition.
And in a 1723 drawing by the artist Hamlet Winstanley, the figure is presented in a "near-flawless state," she wrote. The statue's potbelly once looked like abs, its smile laughing with you and not at you. That illustration, Çam said, demonstrates similarities to Michelangelo's other works and helps explain why other visitors to the Villa Aurora were so enamored with the work.
We see "the finer details of the Ludovisi Pan that have now largely disappeared," she wrote: the curls of its beard, the hairy animal pelt slung over its right shoulder, and the fur on its goatlike legs, which have become smooth over time.
If the statue is so great, and a possible Michelangelo, then why is it wasting away? Çam theorized that the phallus had something to do with it.
While it was originally covered by a fig leaf — which could be removed if an artist wanted to draw the faun fully nude — it disappeared at some point. Giuseppe Felici, a family archivist, described the statue as "repugnant and obscene" in a 1952 chronicle of the property. The Ludovisi family, Çam surmised, was embarrassed by a large, erect phallus greeting their visitors. They shuffled the statue to less-prominent places on the property and planted some shrubs in front of it.
"It was the Pan's erect phallus that negatively affected its placement and presentation — from at least the early 18th century exhibited with a fig leaf, and eventually positioned behind a tree — at different locations on the property of the Villa Ludovisi," Çam wrote.
Given how prominently the statue was once presented on the Ludovisi estate, it was odd for it to be given the short shrift centuries later, Brennan said. While other sculptures show male genitalia, the Pan is the only statue with a fully erect penis, their research found.
"There was plenty that they boasted about," Brennan told Insider. "The family was really proud of their artwork but not this piece."
That same uneasiness removed the statue from discourse among connoisseurs over whether it was created by Michelangelo, Çam said.
"The phallus is what prevented this sculpture from getting proper recognition, which in turn directly affected its attribution to Michelangelo," she wrote. "Squeamishness about subject matter overshadowed all the stylistic similarities between Michelangelo's works and Pan, derailed its scholarly acceptance, and caused the sculpture to be abandoned to its present fate."
## It's hard to carve a marble statue in secret
The trouble for Çam's theories is that Michelangelo was not some obscure artist whose life and work were shrouded in mystery before his death. He was a rock star. He carved David out of marble when he was 26. He is the best-documented artist of the Renaissance.
Historians have more than 1,000 letters written by or to Michelangelo, in addition to bank records, contracts, and biographies written during his lifetime. In none of them is any reference to a self-portrait Pan obtained by the Orsini family, according to Coonin, the Rhodes College professor.
"That everybody would've ignored it or didn't know about it, that Michelangelo wouldn't have mentioned it to anyone, that nobody mentioned it as being a Michelangelo within Michelangelo's lifetime — I think that that's rather unlikely for such a large and idiosyncratic sculpture to escape complete mention in the literature," he said.
It is Michelangelo's very celebrity that explains why so many features may appear Michelangelo-esque, Wallace, a professor of art history and architecture at Washington University in St. Louis, said.
By the time of his death, many considered him the greatest artist who ever lived. He inspired legions of imitators and students of his work, perhaps including whoever made the sculpture, he said.
"That artist who probably carved that garden sculpture had seen the Moses," Wallace said. "And so when he came to carve hands and the beard, he thought to invoke the greatest master of carving of all time, and he would be praised by his contemporaries for being able to imitate Michelangelo very nicely."
As for the faces looking like Michelangelo's? Çam and Brennan conceded the Pan could be the work of an imitator — perhaps a student in an oedipal struggle with the master — though still of immense historical value. Anyone who spent months carving a big, expensive block of marble to make Michelangelo look like a beast would have shaken up the Italian art scene.
"It's either Michelangelo doing a self-portrait, or it's one of Michelangelo's contemporaries depicting Michelangelo as half goat, half man. And either option is really interesting," Brennan said. "If it's Michelangelo who is portraying himself as such, that's unbelievable. But if someone else, I can't imagine one of his followers saying, 'Oh, here, Michelangelo, I'm your assistant here, and I've created this sculpture of you as the god Pan.'"
Çam and Brennan said they believed the Pan could be one of Michelangelo's early works, from before he became famous. The statue, Çam said, reflects his interest in antiquity and mythology, even if those themes are not as developed as in his later works.
But to Wallace, the simplest explanation is the most likely.
"Everybody in Florence in the 16th century was seeing these drawings by Michelangelo, and they provided artists all kinds of ideas about how to go about carving things," Wallace said. 
Besides, a life-sized marble statue is not exactly the kind of thing you can make discreetly.
"Marble is extremely heavy, expensive, it's hard to move. You need to carve it somewhere and keep it there — marble isn't carved quickly," Coonin said. "And so you'd have to have a piece of marble standing in a studio somewhere that he's working on continuously and never be seen or mentioned by anyone."
As for the family being mortified by the statue's penis? Çam simply hasn't brought enough evidence to support her theory that the Ludovisis demoted it because of its genitals, Wallace and Coonin said**.** Garden statues are rearranged all the time.
"Maybe they got embarrassed by the penis and so they put it out in their garden. I don't know," Wallace said. "All of this sounds very fuzzy."
## 'Found' Michelangelos come and go
In 1996, a sculpture of a young archer displayed in a French Embassy in Manhattan, New York, caught the eye of a young graduate student who thought it looked like the work of one of Michelangelo's contemporaries. Kathleen Weil-Garris Brandt, an art-history professor at New York University, took a look and [thought it was made by Michelangelo himself](https://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/06/arts/design/06archer.html), perhaps one of his early works. Other scholars were skeptical.
Wallace, as he does here, described it in [a magazine piece](https://www.academia.edu/23738352/They_Come_and_Go_Art_News_96) at the time as "wholly unlikely." He said then, as he does now, that these "new" Michelangelos "come and go."
"On average, a new Michelangelo has appeared every two or three years for the past 75 years," he wrote in the April 1996 issue of ArtNews.
Wallace told Insider he was being "polite" those decades ago. Michelangelo creating the cupid, he said, "is still unlikely and less than likely."
He keeps a list of 200 works that have been attributed to Michelangelo since 1900. Only one — a wooden crucifix in a church in Florence, Italy — has achieved consensus as the real thing, he said.
That graduate student who spotted the archer statue, James David Draper, later got a job as a curator at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, down the block from the embassy where he first saw the statue. In 2009, [France loaned it to the museum](https://www.metmuseum.org/press/exhibitions/2010/marble-sculpture-attributed-to-michelangelo-on-loan-to-metropolitan-museum-from-french-republic), where it remains. In its [description of the sculpture](https://www.metmuseum.org/art/collection/search/236774), the Met elides all debate: It was "only recently it was recognized as Michelangelo's lost Cupid," the museum says. Draper [estimated Michelangelo made the sculpture when he was 15 years old](https://www.artnews.com/art-news/news/little-archer-big-mystery-258/), an early age when the historical record is relatively murky. On a recent rainy Sunday, throngs of visitors walked around the statue. They paid more attention to the colorful porcelain works nearby, fired by anonymous artists and also once owned by storied Italian families.
How can we be sure a Michelangelo is a Michelangelo? Michael Daley, an art historian and the editor of ArtWatch UK — who [has extensively argued that the $430 million "Salvator Mundi" painting](http://artwatch.org.uk/problems-with-the-new-york-leonardo-salvator-mundi-part-i-provenance-and-presentation/) is [not a genuine work of Leonardo da Vinci](https://www.insider.com/is-leonardo-da-vinci-salvator-mundi-fake-crystal-orb-2017-10) — told Insider that these things were determined by connoisseurship. If enough Michelangelo experts say a Michelangelo is a Michelangelo, then it's a Michelangelo.
Çam didn't disagree. The visitors of the 18th century, she said, *were* connoisseurs. When the statue was in better shape, they believed it possessed the same divine spark that burned in Michelangelo's other works. But contemporary connoisseurs have different standards. Can the marble be traced to the quarries of Carrara, which Michelangelo prized for its quality material? Are there other documents that can help determine its ownership? Can it be traced to a time when Michelangelo was young, or to when other artists may have been imitating his style?
"The visual/stylistic case is not established for the work being an autograph Michelangelo," Daley wrote in an email. "Essentially, the weakness is that the author's photo-comparisons of details attest at best to work's Michelangelo-like features and in some instances are actually counter-productive."
Wallace said, "It's a matter of weight of opinion over time."
He added: "The weight of opinion over time usually is pretty negative. These things come out as Michelangelo and then they descend. They become followers of Michelangelo, pupils of Michelangelo, anonymous followers of Michelangelo."
The Ludovisi Pan — perhaps because it has been ravaged by the eras, perhaps because it has always looked this way — stares us down.
Its stature has shifted, but it has outlived kings and empires. Across the chasm of time, its smile has widened, turning crueler, mocking our questions.
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# Adam Sandler doesnt need your respect. But hes getting it anyway.
Adam Sandler will be honored by the Kennedy Center with the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. (Erik Carter for The Washington Post)
## In a rare sit-down interview, the former SNL star and comedy icon reflects on his career as he receives the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor
PITTSBURGH — During every Adam Sandler stand-up show, he straps on his electric guitar and sings a song. Unlike the bite-size ditties hes peppered through the set about selfies or baggy shorts, this one concerns his late, great “Saturday Night Live” buddy, Chris Farley.
It is a perfect tribute. Sandler, singing softly as he strums in G, captures the complicated beauty of Farley as clips of his most memorable high jinks play on a giant screen behind him. The crowd roars as he references Farleys electrifying SNL turns as a Chippendales dancer and a motivational speaker “living in a van down by the river.” There is a hush as Sandler slips into the bridge, a peek into his friends vulnerability.
*I saw him in the office, crying with his headphones on*
*Listening to a KC and the Sunshine Band song*
*I said, “Buddy, how the hell is that making you so sad?”*
*Then he laughed and said, “Just thinking about my dad”*
Sandler first performed “Farley” in 2015 during a guest spot at Carnegie Hall, a show that inspired him to return to doing stand-up tours. And he played it when he hosted SNL in 2019, choking up visibly.
“Only Sandler could do that,” says Dana Carvey, an SNL star when the younger comedian arrived in 1990. “Thats another gear that Adam has. Hell be really, really silly. But hes not afraid to go for sentimentality and earnestness.”
The song, with its mix of low- and highbrow, the profane and poetic, could serve as a four-minute-and-22-second window into why the comedian and actor is being recognized with the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. And its why his friends are glad that, at 56, hes finally getting his due. All of which may sound strange for someone whose films — generational comedies that include “Happy Gilmore,” “The Wedding Singer” and “Grown Ups” — have earned more than $3 billion at the box office. But for Sandler, popularity and praise have rarely come hand in hand.
That has changed some in recent years. Sandlers dramatic acting performances in 2017s “The Meyerowitz Stories,” last years basketball drama “Hustle” and especially 2019s “Uncut Gems” brought unlikely (and ultimately fruitless) Oscar buzz. His 2019 stand-up special “100% Fresh” and 2020s throwback comedy “Hubie Halloween” confirmed why hes been packing movie theaters and arenas since the Clinton administration. The Twain puts Sandler in the company of such figures as Eddie Murphy, Carol Burnett and Steve Martin.
And the timing is perfect, says his old boss, Lorne Michaels, himself a recipient of the prize from the Kennedy Center in 2004.
“The nature of comedy is you get the audience, you get the money,” says Michaels, SNLs creator and executive producer. “Respect is the last thing you get.”
###
Completely new and fresh
Sandlers Happy Madison Productions headquarters is in a small building in Pacific Palisades, not far from where he lives with his wife, Jackie, and their daughters, Sadie, 16, and Sunny, 14.
On a recent Friday afternoon, the bearded Sandler enters the room with a slight limp courtesy of hip replacement surgery he had in the fall. A few days earlier, he was in Boston, helping Sadie look at colleges. The next day hell go to the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards with his daughters who will watch him receive the King of Comedy Award and submit to the inevitable sliming. (Sandler is the first person to receive the top comedy honors from Nickelodeon and the Kennedy Center, let alone receive them in the same month.)
Sandler typically doesnt do interviews like this. He will go on podcasts with buds, sit on the couch on “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” or answer goofy questions on “Entertainment Tonight” (“Who would be at *your* murder mystery party?”) but this — a three-hour drill-down about his career — is not his thing. He can tell you exactly why.
Flash back to 1995 in the SNL offices. Al Franken, the veteran writer and future senator, confronts Sandler and tells him that nobody appreciated his quotes in that TV Guide story. Huh? Sandler checks and sees that the magazine ran a quote from him complaining that “the writing sucks” on the show.
“I go, I never f---in said that. I never would say that,’” he remembers now. “So I called the writer. I said, Why did you say I said that? And he kind of didnt want to talk to me. I should have taped the conversation.”
Then, a few months later, came the New York magazine article titled “[Comedy Isnt Funny](https://nymag.com/arts/tv/features/47548/).” Michaels gave Chris Smith, a writer with the magazine, unfettered access to Studio 8H for weeks. The resulting article mashed the writers disgust for the show with anonymous quotes attacking its cast. The harshest mockery was reserved for the boyishly sensitive Farley.
“He came and fake buddied up with us,” says David Spade, who was also in the cast. “We let him in on all these meetings and dinners, and he wrote a s---ty piece to get himself notoriety.”
Asked about his article today, Smith says SNL “was not a happy place at the time.”
By then, Sandler had starred in “Billy Madison,” an instant entry into the teenage canon that debuted at No. 1 at the box office. It also got terrible reviews. *Terrible* reviews*.* It was one of the last times Sandler read what the critics had to say, good or bad.
“When Billy Madison came out and I realized Im going to be in the newspaper, that was a big deal,” he says. “When I was a kid, if I got a couple of hits in baseball and was [in the Union Leader](https://www.unionleader.com/sports/concord-outlasts-goffstown-for-state-little-league-title/article_8b8a6919-f218-5669-beff-61b3b0043e7d.html) — Adam Sandler, you know, shortstop got a single and a double — I got excited. And then I read a couple reviews and I was like, Woof, that hurts. I thought they would have a good time with it like I did. And then Happy Gilmore was getting trashed and my friends were getting all riled up, and I just said, No, I dont need to read that stuff.’”
Ultimately, Sandler would respond. Just not to the critics.
“I decided I wanted to talk through what I like to do,” he says. “I like to do my stand-up. I like to do my movies. I was just happy doing that.”
Sandler grew up in Manchester, N.H., the youngest of Judy and Stanleys four children. They were supportive parents. Judy praised his singing, and the boy would sometimes entertain her by crooning Johnny Mathis from the back seat. Stanley, an electrical contractor, coached his sports teams and bought him an electric guitar at the age of 12. Sandler still takes that Strat out onstage. He named his character in 2022s “Hustle” after Stanley, who died in 2003.
Growing up, Sandler played basketball for the local Jewish community center team and guitar in bands called Messiah, Spectrum and Storm. He also fell in love with comedy, listening to Steve Martin and Cheech & Chong records, watching “Caddyshack” and “Animal House,” and seeing Eddie Murphy on SNL.
He headed to New York University in 1984 to study acting and was setting up his room in Brittany Hall when Tim Herlihy walked in. Sandler told Herlihy he wanted to be a comedian. Herlihy told Sandler he wanted to study economics and get rich. That first weekend, though, he handed Sandler a few jokes he had scribbled down for him. Hes been a regular writing partner since, from 1995s “Billy Madison” to “Hubie Halloween.” Elsewhere in the dorm, they met a business major, Jack Giarraputo, and his roommate, Frank Coraci, who was studying film. Another NYU acting student, Allen Covert, also joined the crew. All remain essential partners with the exception of Giarraputo, who left the business in 2014 to spend more time with his family.
Sandler did his first stand-up at 17 at an open mic in Boston. He didnt realize you had to write material and remembers riffing about his family. At NYU, he became a club regular. At first, he struggled and sometimes even turned on the crowd, until some older comics told him yelling at the audience wasnt a great strategy.
What he had going for him, even before he had great material, still works for him onstage. There is a natural ease and a likability. He will chuckle as he tells a joke, as if youre playing pool or getting a burger and your buddy has a funny story to tell you.
“Its not an affectation,” says Herlihy. “Its the way his mind works. When hes laughing, its like, Oh, this is a good part. Like this guy who lived it cant even get through it without laughing.”
“As a young person,” adds director Judd Apatow, who roomed with Sandler after NYU but before SNL, “everybody that encountered him thought, This guy is going to be a gigantic star. Because he was making us so happy when we hung around with him.”
That personality captured Doug Herzog, then an MTV executive who would later launch “The Daily Show” and “South Park.” In 1987, Herzog had gone to a club to see another act as he scouted for MTVs “Remote Control” game show. He ended up hiring Sandler, who was still living in his dorm.
“Im waiting and this kid jumps onstage — sneakers, old-school sweatpants, end-of-the-80s ratty T-shirt, backwards baseball hat,” says Herzog. “I would say an idiosyncratic kind of vibe and tone. Youre also, like, in the heyday of the Beastie Boys and I was like, Oh, he kind of looks like a Beastie Boy and hes funny and hes charming.’”
Sandlers biggest break came two years later. He and Chris Rock auditioned for SNL with a group of comics. Michaels remembers there were others in the room who were more versatile. But nobody as original.
“Most people audition in the style of things that have already been on the show,” Michaels says. “But what Im looking for is something that makes you laugh because you havent seen it yet. Both of them had that. Adam was truly funny but in a style that was completely new and fresh.”
###
Friction at SNL
In 2019, Sandler returned to host SNL for the first time and centered his monologue on how much he loved being a cast member. Then he mentioned a question his daughter had asked. “If it was the greatest, Dad, then why did you leave?”
As the piano kicked in, Sandler began a ballad: “I was fired.”
Which is not exactly true. But Sandlers SNL run, from 1990 to 1995, would see two factions emerge inside 30 Rockefeller Plaza. Those who got it and those who didnt. Executives were known to lodge complaints about his work. And within the cliquey cast and writers room, there was also a split.
“At read-through, Adam would do an \[Weekend\] Update piece, like where he was a travel guide and the joke would be that he was just not doing what a travel guide is supposed to be doing,” says Robert Smigel, a writer on the show for eight years. “But he was delivering the information with a blissful idiots enthusiasm. And it was incredibly funny. And I just remember me and Conan \[OBrien\] and the nerds — Greg Daniels and \[Bob\] Odenkirk — giggling uncontrollably in one corner of this room. This room that otherwise had a black cloud hanging over it.”
Jim Downey, the legendary writer who had worked with John Belushi, Gilda Radner and Bill Murray, decided early on that Sandler was the closest thing SNL ever had to Jerry Lewis. Those wacky voices, the off-kilter characters. He could also sing, bringing his acoustic guitar onto Weekend Update to do his irresistible tributes to Thanksgiving and Hanukkah (“O.J. Simpson, not a Jew. But guess who is? Hall of Famer Rod Carew — he converted.”) As Downey watched the split, between appreciators and disparagers**,** he developed a term to describe Sandlers critics. *Half-brights*.
“Ordinary people had no problem with him, and really smart people had no problem,” says Downey. “But there was this group in the middle who would just take great offense at this kind of thing. They thought it was self-indulgent and infantile. And the thing about Adam was: … Most performers — its very important that they be respected as intelligent and often more intelligent than they really are. Adam was a guy who did not care if you thought he was smart and, in fact, went out of the way to obscure the fact that he is, Id daresay, a lot more intelligent than 90 percent of the performers Ive worked with.”
Sandlers greatest bits were deceivingly multidimensional. “The Herlihy Boy,” named after his college roommate, was a commercial you would never see. A needy, potentially sociopathic man-child pleads to housesit (“Pleeeeeze … it would mean so much to me if you just let me water your plants”) or walk your grandmother across the street. Every minute or so, the camera pulls back to show Chris Farley as an exasperated older relative who wants you to give the damn kid a break while screaming, pleading and generally Farleying at full blast.
“To me, that was a rhythm piece,” says Sandler. “Im going to calmly talk, Farleys going to go f---ing bananas. Camera will zoom back in — calm energy — then widen to a sick man screaming. I knew that had a comedy rhythm to it. I learned that from SNL. I learned what made me laugh. Like [Dan Aykroyd on Fred Garvin, Male Prostitute.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jphfMd4_LCs) That rhythm influenced me.”
Sandlers most famous character may have been Canteen Boy, a voice and persona he would adapt for his hugely successful 1998 film, “The Waterboy,” and bring back nearly 25 years later for “Hubie Halloween.” Canteen Boy is a misfit — always dressed in Boy Scout attire with a baby-talk voice — who is universally mocked but still exudes a boastful pride.
“It wasnt like a single joke that escalates,” says Smigel. “It was a conversation between a somewhat strange guy and a couple of other people who were perceived as normal. And the other guys are just kind of smirking and making ... comments that they think are going over his head, but theyre not. And the weird guy doesnt want to let them know that theyre hurting him. So hes acting like theyre going over his head, for his own dignitys sake. So thats a lot going on in a Saturday Night Live sketch.”
Canteen Boy, like so many of his ideas, was polarizing. But it was, in a way, a microcosm of Sandlers time on SNL — the smug, self-assured grown-ups looking down on the goofy kid who was much smarter than they realized.
“Somebody like Franken is like, Really, Canteen Boy?’” says Smigel. “And I literally said to Al, Its the most complex sketch in read-through.’”
Franken wasnt the only doubter. NBCs executives complained, too. Don Ohlmeyer, a network president, targeted Sandler, Farley and Spade. *These guys arent funny,* hed tell Michaels. *I think they are*, Michaels would respond. The execs longed for the past, for Roseanne Roseannadanna or Chevys pratfalls. They didnt understand Sandler singing, “A turkey for me, a turkey for you, lets eat turkey in a big brown shoe.”
“Whether its in painting or in music or in writing, style changes are disruptive,” says Michaels. “And the reaction to Adam on the show, in the world, was growing, but it wasnt visible in the mainstream because they were all baby boomers.”
“I dont think I ever met Don Ohlmeyer,” says Sandler. “I shook it off. Thats not what I heard when I walked down the street and some kid talked to me about [Crazy Pickle Arm](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lza3Q57t7YQ). I was going by the response of my New Hampshire friends calling me up, my father telling me his buddys kid thought such and such was funny. Or my brother. What he liked. I didnt take it personally. I didnt sit there and go, maybe I should change.”
By 1995, he had been at SNL for five seasons when Michaels talked with Sandlers manager, Sandy Wernick. “Billy Madison” had come out a few months earlier. Wernick told Michaels that Sandler was filming “Happy Gilmore,” in which Sandler played a temperamental failed hockey player who joins the golf tour to save his grandmother from being evicted.
“I said, Listen, I can protect him at the show, at least for now,’” says Michaels. “But theyre so adamant about his not being funny and not being good. So I think — go. He can leave.”
###
Winning audiences
Losing SNL was scary. “Billy Madison” had done well, but it wasnt exactly “Ghostbusters.” He wondered whether he would keep getting opportunities.
“Maybe the other companies are going to start saying, Dont hire him because of this. They dont like him over there. Maybe theres a reason. Sandler says. “I was probably just nervous about that, but I didnt doubt myself.”
By now, Sandlers NYU team was humming. Herlihy would write with him. Giarraputo would help produce, do marketing, pitch in on jokes. Coraci came on board to direct “The Wedding Singer” and “Waterboy.” He would later do “Click,” “Blended” and “The Ridiculous 6.” Following Sandlers lead, they focused on the audience, not the critics.
Test screenings would be key.
“Adam would sneak into the back of the theater and he would listen,” says Giarraputo. “As a comedian, its like a live audience — which jokes are working. Sometimes, we would have to open up spaces for jokes because they were laughing so hard.”
So when “Billy Madison” came out and was savaged by critics — Herlihys 84-year-old grandfather tried to comfort him after a Long Island Newsday writer compared the film to the horrors of Auschwitz — the gang jumped in a car and sneaked into theaters to watch audiences roar.
Ticket sales kept increasing. Home viewing on videotape, then DVD, was huge. “The Waterboy” made $186 million on a $23 million budget. “Big Daddy,” out in 1999, topped $230 million.
“Everybody wants to be loved,” says Tamra Davis, who directed “Billy Madison.” “But sometimes, its like when your parents dont get your music. I kind of saw it as a badge of glory.”
###
Moving beyond comedy
In between his career-defining epics “Magnolia” and “There Will Be Blood,” Paul Thomas Anderson decided to write a movie for Sandler. Anderson loved watching a particular Sandler sketch on SNL, “[The Denise Show](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twIgfEhXvXg),” where Sandlers scorned ex-boyfriend, Brian, would throw a petulant, self-pitying tantrum. In 2002s “Punch-Drunk Love,” he cast Sandler as pent-up lonely man Barry Egan opposite Emily Watson, and Sandler was the unexpected recipient of critical praise.
He then branched out into more romantic comedies, including “50 First Dates” with Drew Barrymore and “Just Go With It” with Jennifer Aniston.
That made perfect sense to Queen Latifah, who played his wife in last years “Hustle” and remembers laughing at him on SNL.
“I love 50 First Dates,’” she says. “Adam knows how to play the romantic comedy, and I think a lot of it is because this is a guy I would like to meet. This is a guy that would make me laugh. This is a guy whos sweet. This is a guy who has real feelings and gets pissed off.”
Sandlers dramatic side returned in Apatows “Funny People,” the 2009 film in which he played a darker, Rodney Dangerfield-ish version of a comic, and in 2017, when Noah Baumbach wrote a part for him as a musical and sweetly underappreciated house-dad opposite Dustin Hoffmans narcissistic, insecure patriarch in “Meyerowitz.” Then came 2019s “Uncut Gems,” a film by Josh and Benny Safdie. They had grown up with Sandlers comedy albums from the 1990s. They spent years recruiting him to play the deeply flawed Howard Ratner, a jewelry dealer with a gambling addiction and a dissolving marriage.
“Theres this rage and this deep sweetness to him,” says Josh Safdie. “And hes the only person who could have expressed what made Howard lovable for us.”
That range has also impressed his co-stars.
Jennifer Aniston, who has made three movies with Sandler, including the new Netflix adventure comedy “Murder Mystery 2,” remembers watching Sandler rhyme “deli” with “Arthur Fonzarelli” when he did “The Chanukah Song.”
“I mean, you couldnt keep a straight face,” she says. “And personally, I think \[You Dont Mess With the\] Zohan is one of the funniest movies and then he has Uncut Gems. Its very rare for actors to be able to hit it out of the park in every genre.”
“I dont know how he gets there. I have no idea,” says Eric Bogosian, who was [portrayed by Sandler on SNL](https://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/wfpas-monsters-of-monologue-94/2872689) in 1994, and who acted alongside him in “Uncut Gems” 25 years later. “But he does drop into a very centered place and speaks from a kind of authenticity when you watch his scenes.”
Sandler does not look for dramatic roles. He says his wife ultimately convinced him he was right for “Uncut Gems” after he expressed apprehension about the role.
“When I see him like that,” says Jackie in an email, “I let him know why I think he would be great at that specific part and why I think his fans would like to see him be that character. Because people coming up on the street and telling him how much one of his movies meant to them, thats what drives him.”
Sandler can also take a different approach on a project hes hired for as an actor than one under Happy Madison Productions. He focuses on his part, not punching up the script or talking through shots or casting. One thing he doesnt take these roles on for is to show something to his critics.
“But I do think hes trying to prove something to himself,” says Dustin Hoffman.
“Adam does compete — with himself,” writes Jackie. “He wants to come up with something new that he hasnt done before.”
In “The Meyerowitz Stories,” Hoffman says, there were times when Sandler would seem unsure of his performance and the older actor would find himself reassuring him.
“What I think he does that is similar to what I try to do is that you think a lot about what youre to do with this so-called character,” says Hoffman. “And then when you get there, forget it all. What sticks is what then comes out. Hes very alive in the moment and not preplanned.”
Sandlers material may have changed, but his personality has not. His primary mission is to make you laugh. Whether onstage or in his office, he will talk about his excitement over a project — that “Hustle” is the first Happy Madison production that wasnt a comedy — but there will never be any whining about not getting an Oscar nomination for “Uncut Gems” or “Meyerowitz.”
“Hes not looking for pats on the back,” says Spade, who remains a close friend. “Hes already won.”
When Sandler was a kid, he just wanted to make it like Rodney, Eddie or Aykroyd. And he did. Then he got to do the roles James Caan or Robert Duvall could pull off. And then he got married and suddenly he had a family. Hell celebrate his 20th anniversary with Jackie this summer, and more than anyone else shes the one who counsels, pushes, advises him on what to do. With what roles to take and with the girls and their birthday parties, bat mitzvahs and college tours. At 56, he is both the king of comedy and the dad with every intention of taking off 10 pounds.
Back onstage in Pittsburgh, “Farley” comes late in the gig, but its not the finale. Instead, Sandler tells the crowd he loves them and says the next one is for Jackie. And then hes strumming a familiar tune, “Grow Old With You” from “The Wedding Singer,” only this time hes not sporting a mullet and Billy Idol isnt there to offer vocal and moral support. The verses have been changed to match his real life.
*… Now when I get chubby*
*We do the couples cleanse*
*You tell me I should have been nominated*
*For “Hustle” and “Uncut Gems”*
*I said, “Ill stick with the Kids Choice Awards*
*As I grow old with you”*
They are cheering now, with their “Happy Gilmore” hockey jerseys, their memories of Opera Man and that Hanukkah song, and Sandler, from the stage, turns the final line in his song back to the crowd.
*Thanks for growing old — with me.*
The Mark Twain Prize for American Humor ceremony will air at 8 p.m. March 26 on CNN.
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Date: 2023-12-17
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# Adrift
![A wrecked wooden boat sits on the beach against a purple sky.](https://projects.apnews.com/features/2023/adrift/__cdn__/images/2000.8fb0e3c9a7dcb47dd869.jpg)
BELLE GARDEN, Tobago (AP) Around 6:30 a.m. on May 28, 2021, a couple of miles from Belle Garden Beach on the Caribbean island of Tobago, a narrow white-and-blue boat drifted onto the horizon.
As it wobbled back and forth, fish gathered, feeding on the barnacles that had grown below the surface.
From a distance, it seemed no one was aboard. But as fishermen approached, they smelled death.
Inside were the decomposing bodies of more than a dozen Black men. No one knew where they were from, what brought them there, why they were aboard — and how or why they died. No one knew their names.
What is clear now, but wasnt then, is this:
For nearly two years, The Associated Press assembled puzzle pieces from across three continents to uncover the story of this boat — and the people it carried from hope to death.
The vessel that reached Tobago was registered in Mauritania, a large and mostly deserted country in northwest Africa nearly 3,000 miles (4,800 km) away. Evidence found on the boat — and its style and color as a typical Mauritanian “pirogue”— suggested the dead were likely African migrants who were trying to reach Europe but got lost in the Atlantic.
In 2021, at least seven boats appearing to be from northwest Africa washed up in the Caribbean and in Brazil. All carried dead bodies.
These “ghost boats” — and likely many others that have vanished — are in part an unintended result of years of efforts and billions of dollars spent by Europe to stop crossings on the Mediterranean Sea. That crackdown, along with other factors such as economic disruption from the pandemic, pushed migrants to return to the far longer, more obscure and more dangerous Atlantic route to Europe from northwest Africa via the Canaries instead.
Arrivals on the Atlantic route jumped from 2,687 in 2019 to more than 22,000 two years later, according to Spains Interior Ministry. But for those to arrive, many more must have departed, said Pedro Vélez, an oceanographer at the Spanish Institute of Oceanography. Vélez wasnt surprised to learn of migrant boats appearing in the Caribbean that is where floating devices dropped by scientists on the West African coast naturally drift.
“The sea conditions there are extremely harsh,” he said. “Extremely harsh.”
In 2021, at least 1,109 people died or disappeared trying to reach the Canaries, according to the International Organization for Migration, the deadliest on record. But thats likely a fraction of the real death toll. The men in the Tobago boat, for example, are not included in this number.
Other estimates are higher. Caminando Fronteras, a Spanish migrants rights organization, recorded more than 4,000 dead or missing on the Atlantic route in 2021, with at least 20 boats vanishing after departing from Mauritania.
These migrants are as invisible in death as they were in life. But even ghosts have families.
The AP investigation included interviews with dozens of relatives and friends, officials and forensic experts, as well as police documents and DNA testing. It found that 43 young men from Mauritania, Mali, Senegal and possibly other West African nations boarded the boat. AP has identified 33 of them by name.
They departed the Mauritanian port city of Nouadhibou in the middle of the night between Jan. 12 and 13, 2021. Clothing and DNA testing confirmed the identity of one of the bodies, bringing closure to one family and opening the way for others to seek the same.
The lack of political will and global resources to identify dead and disappeared migrants mean such resolutions, even partial ones, are rare. Each year, thousands of families wonder about the fate of loved ones who left their homes for Europe.
Few ever find out.
This is the story of one boat and the people it carried from hope to death.
## The Discovery
On the morning of May 28, 2021, Lance Biggart got a call from one of his fellow fishermen. A strange boat had appeared.
The 49-year-old Tobago native quickly reached his colleagues aboard his small but speedy boat, the Big Thunder. Dozens of fishermen joined him at the scene, filming the pirogue with their smartphones. Some continued fishing shiny mahi-mahi that had gathered around the corpses, life circling around death.
Biggart remembers being puzzled by how the boat could have survived Atlantic swells.
“A wave came, and the boat rocked so, so badly,” he recalls.
One of the dead men sat by the bow. The fishermen and police wondered if he was the last to die, moving away from the rest of the dead in the bottom of the boat. Biggart and his colleague were asked by the coast guard to tow the pirogue back to shore. A tractor pulled the boat out of the water.
Men in white overalls carefully removed 14 bodies, three skulls and other large bones one by one, placing the remains in 15 bags. Some victims were missing limbs or heads. The sun had mummified some parts, while the salt and water at the bottom of the boat had putrified others.
Recovered from the boat were clothing, 1,000 West African CFA francs (under $2) and a few euros. Police also found half a dozen corroded cellphones with SIM cards from Mali and Mauritania. Tobagos Cyber Crime Unit extracted a contact list from one of the SIMs.
Police in Trinidad and Tobago passed the numbers on to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, which reached out several times to the government of Mauritania. They never got an answer, they said. Mauritanias Foreign Ministry did not respond to phone calls or repeated requests for comment by email from the AP.
In the weeks that followed, customers stopped buying Biggarts fish, fearing the dead were victims of some sort of sorcery. Others made unfounded speculations: Were they Ebola victims whose bodies had been thrown in the boat and set adrift?
As a man of the sea himself, Biggart felt responsible.
“I have a friend who went to sea and never came back,” he says. “I dont know the people and them. But I know the family will be hurting.”
Yet months later, unable to identify the victims, police rebranded the criminal investigation into a “humanitarian” case. The remains were kept at the morgue of the Forensic Science Center in Trinidad.
To this day, there they sit.
## A trail of clues
In 20 years as a forensic pathologist, Dr. Eslyn McDonald-Burris had never seen so many bodies arrive at the local mortuary in Tobago at once. Their apparent African descent reminded her of her enslaved ancestors.
“Its kind of emotional for me, because Im thinking why? What is happening here?” asked the soft-spoken Burris, who has since retired. “And then when I started looking at ocean currents. ... Its the same currents that they used when they brought us here.” She concluded they most likely died of “dehydration and hypothermia as a consequence of being lost at sea.”
Opening the body bags one by one, Burris was opening a small window into each persons life. She looked for anything to help answer questions: Who were they? Where were they trying to go? What happened on the boat?
One had prayer beads with a crescent and a star, Muslim symbols. Another carried in his pocket a small label with Arabic writing of a water bottle from Mauritania. Yet another wore a watch on his left wrist, still running even though the time and date were wrong. “5:32 Sun,” it read.
Most shared similar traits — “that sort of tall, slender look, long thin face,” Burris says. Many wore several layers of clothing, common for seafaring migrants. A few wore dark green weather-proof jackets and pants, typically used both by fishermen in West Africa and by migrants seeking to avoid detection by port authorities.
As Burris pulled back the layers of clothing, she found soccer jerseys and shorts with the insignia of European teams as well as the Football Federation of the Islamic Republic of Mauritania. One man was dressed more formally, wearing a black button-down shirt with thin white stripes.
Another stood out to Burris. “A young man of African descent, slim build, dark complexion,” her autopsy report read.
He had short, dark-brown hair. His ears were “notably very small." His teeth were in good condition. His body was the most mummified of all, and his clothing was still relatively clean, suggesting he may have been one of the last to die.
“Down here we say a sharp boy,” Burris said, affectionately referring to his style.
He was found wearing distressed jeans, a Nike hoodie and a white patterned T-shirt underneath with some words on it — a lyric to a well-known Lionel Richie song.
It read: “HELLO, IS IT ME YOURE LOOKING FOR?”
## An Aunt in France
Thousands of miles away, in the French city of Orléans, May Sow had all but given up hope of finding her nephew alive.
It was mid-January 2021, and Alassane Sow, 30, wasnt answering his phone, leaving his family in both Mali and France desperate. May searched the internet for any trace of him.
A few days earlier, Alassane had told her over the phone that he was thinking of boarding a boat to Spain and, ultimately, to France to work, as some of his friends had done. His estranged father had also left for Spain. Smugglers charged 1,500 euros, and he had saved some money working as a security guard in Mauritania.
She thought it was a terrible idea. “Its suicide,” she warned him. A family she knew from the Ivory Coast was mourning a relative who died trying to reach Europe.
Alassane said smugglers told him he would travel on a sturdy boat with a proper engine, not the flimsy overcrowded rubber boats often seen capsizing in the Mediterranean. But even if he made it, she told him, he wouldnt be allowed to work legally in France.
“When I go to Paris, I see people, migrants sleeping outside, under tents,” May recalled.
Alassane wouldnt hear of it. After all, his French family had a good life with stable careers that allowed them to send money back to their Mali village of Melga, to support his mother.
Alassanes grandparents had immigrated to France from the former colony decades ago, leaving their eldest daughter, Alassanes mother, back in Mali. They had six more children in France, including May.
When May and her siblings tried to bring Alassanes mother over, she was an adult no longer eligible for family reunification. She applied for a visa for France eight times, only to be rejected each time.
The Sow family in France had tried to support Alassane in two projects back in Mali, in livestock and in commerce. Both ultimately failed in part because of the impact of climate change and a fragile economy in a country plagued by years of conflict and political instability. The convenience store he opened with their help hardly made enough money to feed his family.
He ultimately moved to Mauritania to make roughly 75 euros a month, May said. That wasnt enough.
May said the “kind, serious and respectful” young man never asked his French relatives for more money. Prosperity was in Europe, and the only way he could afford to get there was by boat.
“I think in his head, he thought he didnt have a choice,” May said.
![A man stands on the beach wearing a striped button down shirt.](https://projects.apnews.com/features/2023/adrift/__cdn__/images/1200.5df98c905511349928aa.jpg)
Mays nephew Alassane Sow
On the night between Jan. 12 and 13, 2021, he boarded a pirogue in Nouadhibou, Mauritania, headed to Spains Canary Islands, his family learned later.
After the initial silence came rumors, including one that his boat had been stopped in Morocco and the migrants sent to prison. May contacted a Malian community representative in Morocco to check prisons and morgues. No trace of Alassane.
She reached out to a page on Facebook called “Protect Migrants not Borders,” used by families of missing migrants to exchange information. That was when May realized her nephew was one of thousands disappearing each year en route to Europe.
Every day people posted about a missing person. Few were ever found.
Any tips she obtained were by word of mouth. There was no official information. She felt helpless.
Alassanes mother, grandmother and wife held onto hope that he was alive, probably in prison somewhere, and couldnt call. May was growing increasingly skeptical.
One night, she had a dream. She saw him dead with many people in the water, and she cried out for him.
In her nightmare, Alassane eventually opened his eyes but couldnt speak. After that, she was sure they had shipwrecked. But she had no proof.
A few months later, her sister shared a news report about a Mauritanian boat found in Tobago with dead bodies inside. Then an AP reporter contacted her asking about the same. Could her nephew be among those?
He left in January. The boat was found in May. But except for the time frame, there was no evidence to suggest it was his boat. After all, the pirogues used by migrants departing Nouadhibou look the same.
## Following the trail
The contact list extracted from one of the SIM cards on a phone in the boat by authorities in Tobago contained 137 names.
The AP went down the list calling the numbers, asking those who replied if they knew anyone missing. One name kept coming up: Soulayman Soumaré, a taxi driver from Sélibaby in southern Mauritania, near the borders with Mali and Senegal.
The AP traveled to Sélibaby, a two-day drive from the fishing town of Nouadhibou on a strip of tarmac that cuts through a bleak desert, and spoke to dozens of relatives and friends to reconstruct what happened.
Soulayman had gone missing a year earlier, along with dozens of other young men from nearby villages. They had taken off from Nouadhibou on a boat carrying 43 people to the Canary Islands on the night of Jan. 12, 2021. It was the same boat that Alassane Sow boarded.
Forty-seven people were meant to have boarded the boat originally. Four men never got on. One, who spoke to the AP on condition of anonymity, confirmed that he and dozens of other relatives, friends and acquaintances from Sélibaby and two nearby villages had traveled to Nouadhibou. There, they waited in apartments arranged by smugglers. He heard more people from a town on the border of Mali and Mauritania would also be getting on the boat.
Finally, on Jan. 12, the smugglers called. They would be leaving for Spain that night.
To avoid attracting authorities attention, the migrants split into smaller groups and left separately on different pirogues. They were to meet in the ocean and all transfer to a larger pirogue bound for the Canaries.
In Nouadhibou, hundreds of fishermen zip in and out all day and night, and port authorities struggle to inspect every boat for migrants. But when they saw four men allegedly going fishing without the typical dark green overalls, police stopped them.
Little did they know that their lives had just been spared.
## Families, still waiting
Just as few people in Tobago had ever heard of Mauritania before, families in Mauritania had never heard of Tobago. When shown the island on a map, with the Atlantic Ocean separating both nations, many gasped.
A few miles away from Sélibaby, on a dirt road dotted with goats, lies the village of Bouroudji, home to 11 of the missing young men. AP reporters shared the available information with their mothers: A Mauritanian boat had drifted to Tobago with 14 bodies. One phone retrieved from the boat was linked to the group their sons had traveled with. There were no known survivors.
“Theyre all dead,” one mother exclaimed. She covered her face with her hands and left in despair.
Others hung onto hope. Until they saw their sons bodies, the mothers said, they could still be alive. They pulled out their cellphones and shared photos of their sons with AP. Among them were two young men named Bayla Niang and Abdoulaye Tall.
Niangs father, 71-year-old Ciré Samba Niang, said they were desperate for any information.
“Theres people who say theyve died. There are people who say they are in prison,” he said. “There are others who say, nonsense.”
Niang said he wasnt aware of his sons plans. He blamed local unemployment along with better opportunities abroad. Many in his generation had also moved to Europe and made good money for Mauritanian standards.
“If one goes to Europe, in one or two years theyll be able to build a house (in Mauritania), to buy a car,” Niang said. “The other person sees that and says, I cant stay here. I have to go, too.’”
![A man relaxing on a field of green.](https://projects.apnews.com/features/2023/adrift/__cdn__/images/1200.63a409b73032ea411d7e.jpg)
![A man standing in a clothing store.](https://projects.apnews.com/features/2023/adrift/__cdn__/images/1200.336ae62df2773f0a4bc0.jpg)
![A close-up selfie of a man in a black jacket](https://projects.apnews.com/features/2023/adrift/__cdn__/images/1200.9843a979a43bcf259106.jpg)
![Three men standing together posing for the camera.](https://projects.apnews.com/features/2023/adrift/__cdn__/images/1200.1787d0ab9de1b00a977f.jpg)
Clockwise starting from the top left: Houdou Soumaré, Cheikh Dioum, Houdou and Soulayman with Djibi Koumé, Soulayman Soumaré. Images courtesy of the families.
In the nearby village of Moudji, the parents of Soulayman Soumaré and his cousins Houdou Soumaré and Djibi Koumé, who had also disappeared, struggled to get on with their lives. One mother was severely depressed and suffering from panic attacks, the villagers said. “You cannot even talk because everyone is so upset,” said Oumar Koumé, the father of Djibi Koumé.
Like the mothers of Bouroudji, Koumé asked to see the bodies found in the boat that reached Tobago.
“If you see someone is dead in front of you, you know it is done. But if you dont see it, every day there are rumors,” he said. “Your heart aches.”
Adama Sarré is a 46-year-old nurse and single mother. Her 25-year-old son, Cheikh Dioum, is among those who disappeared.
An introvert, Dioum would sometimes stay in his room for days, his mother said. He was upset, frustrated. He had repeatedly asked her for money to travel to Europe. But on her meager nurses salary, she had little to give him. She advised patience. She recalled telling him: “Cheikh, go slowly, go slowly. If I work and find money, I will get you a plane ticket and you will go.”
Dioum thought she was lying, she said. He left without saying goodbye.
“I call his phone, it doesnt work,” she said. “Im just sitting here.”
## A Survivors Account
We may never know what happened to the men as they drifted from Nouadhibou to Tobago. But accounts from survivors of other shipwrecks in the Atlantic offer a clue.
Moussa Sako was rescued by the Spanish Air Force on April 26, 2021. Their boat was spotted by chance more than 310 miles (500km) from the Spanish island of El Hierro — “in the middle of nowhere,” as one of the rescuers described it.
They had set off 22 days earlier from Nouakchott, the capital of Mauritania. Only three of 63 people who boarded survived.
Like many on the boat, Sako, an asylum-seeker from Mali, had never seen the ocean. Four men with maritime experience, including a Senegalese “captain,” were in charge of reaching the Canaries. The voyage was to take four to five days.
They were packed like sardines, with Sako squeezed in the middle. The leaking gasoline and salt water in the bottom of the boat burnt their skin, making it painful to sit.
Not long after departing, they ran out of food and water. On the fourth day they ran out of fuel. To slow down their drift and be more visible to rescuers, they made a makeshift anchor by tying the engine and other heavy metal scraps to a rope.
With each day that passed, the boat drifted further. Tensions boiled into arguments. The smugglers, some said, had betrayed them.
More days passed. No rescue came. A growing number of people wanted to cut the rope loose to drift faster. Sako thought they would be better off staying still, where the sea was still calm and they could see some lights at night. But Sako was defeated in a vote. The rope was snipped.
Just as he feared, the wind took them to more agitated waters that poured over their boat. The next evening the first person died, a 20-year-old man. They washed and wrapped his body in Islamic tradition and prayed before throwing it overboard.
By the second week, three to four people were dying every day.
Some had hallucinations. One man jumped to his death thinking they had arrived. Others jumped to end their suffering. Sako, the healthiest, tried to help the others.
“I had four full (layers of clothes) on me,” he recalled. “I would take one off and put it on them ... until I had only one.”
On day 18, he tried to get away from the rotting bodies. But they were everywhere. Only a handful of people were still alive. They hardly spoke.
Sako no longer feared death. He did worry about what would happen afterward.
“I wanted that even if I died, for people to recover (my body) and bury me,” Sako said. “If you disappear in the water, they can look for you for a hundred years.”
Finally, on day 22, a grey plane appeared in the sky above. Then came a helicopter. A rescuer dropped down and pulled Sako and the other two survivors from the corpse-ridden pirogue.
The bodies of 24 people were recovered and buried in the Canaries with case numbers instead of names. The remains of the other 36 were swallowed by the Atlantic.
## (Partial) Answers
The number of people attempting the Atlantic crossing to the Canaries is falling again as Spain and the EU, with help from their African partners, try to close that migration route in a constant cat-and-mouse game. But the reasons pushing these men, women and children to go — a lack of jobs, poverty, violence, climate change — have only gotten worse.
One year after the 43 men departed Nouadhibou, the white-and-blue boat sat abandoned on the side of the road in Belle Garden, much like the case itself.
The clothing, objects and cellphones recovered from the boat and the bodies had been kept in the back of the Scarborough police station in Tobago. Even though it had been cleared for disposal, the officer in charge of storing police evidence had decided to hold onto the items “in case someone came looking for this some day.”
With latex gloves, the officer and an AP reporter cut open the sealed bags, pulling out the decaying evidence on the concrete floor to be documented.
There were the dirty soccer jerseys and shorts of Juventus, Paris St-Germain, Barcelona, Real Madrid and The Football Federation of Mauritania that Burris had noted in her autopsy reports. There were the dark green weatherproof coats and pants so many migrants wear during the crossing. There were the cellphones, so worn out that the devices fell apart at the slightest touch.
After days analyzing photos of the evidence like a puzzle, one T-shirt seemed familiar. In a photo shared by one of the mothers from the Mauritanian village of Bourdouji, 20-year-old Abdoulaye Tall is seen wearing a colorful T-shirt with words on it, but only parts of it were visible: “IS IT ... E ... YOURE.”
Suddenly, it came into focus. He was wearing the shirt that had struck Dr. Burris: “HELLO, IS IT ME YOURE LOOKING FOR?”
The AP shared its finding, along with photos of the T-shirt, with Talls father. He said he was grateful for the information, even though it shattered his hopes.
“Its obvious hes dead,” Djibi Tall said. “Its Gods will.”
The AP also shared photos of the evidence collected in Tobago with other families of the missing in Mauritania, Mali, Senegal and France.
May Sow, the aunt in France, stared at the photos on her phone for days and stayed up late at night. One photo looked familiar: a black striped button-down shirt.
She went back to photos of her nephew from shortly before he disappeared. There it was — the same black striped shirt. He wore it on special occasions.
“I dont think they had the right to bring things with them, so he must have worn his best clothes,” she said.
She reached out to one of Alassanes friends in Mauritania who had accompanied him on the first part of the journey to the boat. He confirmed that Alassane had worn the striped shirt underneath a jacket with red pockets. Both were found on one of the bodies.
May Sow was already mourning the loss of her nephew, but her sister was still in denial. Sow reached out to the Red Cross in Senegal for help with a DNA test to confirm. But because Alassanes mother was from Mali, they couldnt help.
So in late June, the AP got a saliva sample sent from Alassanes mother to the Forensics Science Center in Trinidad and Tobago.
Three months later, on Oct. 4, 2022, an email arrived in May Sows inbox.
“I regret to inform that the DNA sample result is a positive match.”
![A beach with palm trees at dawn.](https://projects.apnews.com/features/2023/adrift/__cdn__/images/2000.867edaae945036bf6323.jpg)
## Epilogue
Alassane was buried after an Islamic funeral on March 3, 2023, at the Chaguanas Public Cemetery in Trinidad and Tobago. His family, unable to travel, held prayers in both his hometown in Mali and in France.
Of the 43 people believed to have boarded Alassanes boat, only 14 bodies and skeletal remains were found in Tobago. The Red Cross has collected 51 DNA samples from family members of 26 missing migrants in hopes of identifying the other bodies at the Forensic Science Center in Trinidad. Those results arent yet known.
Some things are, in the end, unknowable. Its possible — probable, even — that the world will never learn what exactly happened during the 135 days and nights that Alassane and the others spent adrift in the Atlantic.
But at least May Sow knows one thing now.
“At least, for my nephew, we have proof that it is him,” she said. “We can pray for him and believe that he is in a good place.”
### More in this project
## Digital Presentation Credits
Text and Visual Reporting: Renata Brito and Felipe Dana
Text Editors: Ted Anthony and Mary Rajkumar
Photo Editors: Enric Marti and Felipe Dana
Motion Graphics: Marshall Ritzel
Creative Direction: Raghu Vadarevu and Nat Castañeda
Design and Development: Linda Gorman, Kati Perry, and Dan Kempton
Project Management: Michelle Minkoff
Audience Coordination and Production: Sophia Eppolito, Alex Connor, Bridget Brown and Akira Olivia Kumamoto
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# Affirmative Action Never Had a Chance
## The conservative backlash to the civil-rights era began immediately — and now its nearly complete.
[![Portrait of Zak Cheney-Rice](https://pyxis.nymag.com/v1/imgs/f82/42d/433fb889d3edc4b013b86e6487abf09387-ZakCheney-RiceFINAL.2x.rsquare.w168.jpg)](https://nymag.com/author/zak-cheney-rice/)
By , a New York features writer who covers race, politics, culture, and law enforcement
In their original form, affirmative action programs in the 1960s sought to give Black workers access to trade unions. Photo: Higgins/Courtesy of the Special Collections Research Center. Temple University Libraries. Philadelphia, PA.
Arthur Fletcher had already been a Baltimore Colts lineman and an administrator for the state highway department when he started applying for jobs as a football coach in Kansas. It was 1957, three years after the U.S. Supreme Court outlawed *de jure* racial segregation in schools with [*Brown* v. *Board of Education*](https://www.archives.gov/milestone-documents/brown-v-board-of-education). Fletcher lived in Topeka with his wife and five children, and he had $15,000 in debt from an ill-fated side career as a concert promoter. He was building tires for Goodyear to make ends meet, but his odds at landing a coaching job looked promising. He was, after all, the first Black player on the Colts.
But if *Brown* meant progress for millions of students, it meant little for Fletchers job prospects. “I presented myself to school board after school board after school board in the state of Kansas, and the answer was, You are ready, but were not,’” he said, according to *A Terrible Thing to Waste*, historian David Hamilton Gollands biography of him.
Fletcher never asked for special treatment. His stepfather was a [buffalo soldier.](https://www.thenmusa.org/articles/buffalo-soldiers/) Self-reliance was the gospel in his childhood home. But everywhere Fletcher looked, bigotry and discrimination were freezing Black Americans out of an equal shot at American prosperity.
Fletcher left Kansas and took his chances in the West Coastbased defense industries, while immersing himself in the world of Republican political organizing. In 1968, he ran for lieutenant governor of Washington and lost. He was nursing his wounds that autumn when the president-elect offered him a job. Richard Nixon had barely won his own race that year. Martin Luther King Jr. and Robert F. Kennedy had recently been killed, and Americas streets were smoldering. Neutralizing riots was top of mind for the “law and order” candidate. The solution he chose was “[Black capitalism](https://content.time.com/time/subscriber/article/0,33009,901274,00.html).”
“Instead of government jobs, and government housing, and government welfare,” Nixon [said](https://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/documents/address-accepting-the-presidential-nomination-the-republican-national-convention-miami) at the 1968 Republican National Convention, “let government use its tax and credit policies to enlist in this battle the greatest engine of progress ever developed in the history of man — American private enterprise.” His reasoning was that government aid in Black neighborhoods created waste and dependency. To promote equality and quell unrest, Black ghetto-dwellers needed pride of ownership through entrepreneurialism — more Black businesses and Black banks in Black neighborhoods.
The pitch was a natural draw for Fletcher. If Nixon had any doubts about whether he would support his civil-rights agenda, they were swiftly put to rest. “I dont believe in jumping to welfare when theres so much work out there,” Fletcher said when Nixon mentioned one of his welfare initiatives.
After he took office in 1969, Nixon appointed Fletcher to be his assistant secretary of Labor, making him one of the countrys highest-ranking Black government officials. At six-foot-four with dark skin and close-cropped hair, Fletcher was a fly in Nixons proverbial buttermilk — an administration of slick-haired white guys known by critics as “Uncle Stroms Cabin,” according to Mehrsa Baradaran, a UC Irvine law professor whose book *The Color of Money* sheds light on this era.
The policy for which Fletcher is remembered, and that earned him the nickname “the father of affirmative action,” was introduced that June. It started as a modest tweak to the federal contracting process. The construction firms and tradesmen who were winning federal contracts at the time were almost all white, a reflection of how segregated local trade unions were. “We even found Italians with green cards who couldnt speak English, let alone read or write a word, sentence, or paragraph — yet who were working on federal contracts,” Fletcher wrote. Meanwhile, the same contractors were claiming they couldnt find qualified Black workers, an assertion that Fletcher decided to test by forcing them to integrate. He added a provision to federal contracts that required contractors to set “goals and timetables” for hiring more Black and non-white workers, expressed as percentages that were to be increased over four years.
The [Revised Philadelphia Plan](https://philadelphiaencyclopedia.org/essays/philadelphia-plan-2/), as his initiative was called, is now considered the first example of “hard” affirmative action implemented by the federal government, a term that acknowledged that merely outlawing legal discrimination was insufficient redress for the wreckage wrought by two centuries of discrimination. Proactive, or “affirmative,” measures had to be taken, too.
“I consider that my little footnote in history,” Fletcher wrote of this fateful decision. “I went into that administration with the conviction that if we could change the role of Blacks in the economy, wed do nothing short of changing the nations culture.”
Not long after, Harvard Law School debuted a parallel initiative known as [the Harvard Plan](https://hls.harvard.edu/today/walter-leonard-champion-of-diversity-in-higher-education-1929-2015/), the core of which was a formula for evaluating applicants that considered their racial background. That plan was later adapted for the schools undergraduate admissions, leading to explosive growth in the share of minority admits and establishing a pattern that has since been replicated across higher education.
Fifty-four years later, that period of growth is probably ending. In October, the Supreme Court heard oral arguments in [*Students for Fair Admissions* v. *Harvard*](https://www.oyez.org/cases/2022/20-1199) and [*Students for Fair Admissions* v. *University of North Carolina*](https://www.oyez.org/cases/2022/21-707), two cases that, when decided in June, are expected to outlaw the consideration of race in school admissions for good and, by extension, kill affirmative action across all sectors of American life.
If all goes as anticipated, this ruling would be the latest anti-civil-rights salvo from a right-wing Supreme Court majority that has already overturned *Roe* v. *Wade*. Several turns have led us to this crossroads. The Court has played a crucial role, narrowing the scope of affirmative action to the point that its original aim — redressing the material deprivation facing Black people and other minorities — has been supplanted by anodyne gestures toward diversity. But theres also a deeper and more familiar betrayal at work. Affirmative action emerged at a time in American history when Black civil-rights advocates were calling for a comprehensive rewrite of the social contract. The pillars of their [agenda](https://www.prrac.org/pdf/FreedomBudget.pdf) included full voting rights, equal access to education, robust anti-discrimination laws with strong enforcement, universal health care, and a full-employment economy.
In the decades since, weve seen those pillars falter and crumble. The Supreme Court has invited the de facto [resegregation](https://guides.loc.gov/latinx-civil-rights/sanantonio-isd-v-rodriguez) of American primary schools and [gutted](https://www.justice.gov/crt/shelby-county-decision) the Voting Rights Act of 1965. Black communities are beset by [police violence](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.1821204116) and [mass incarceration](https://www.prisonpolicy.org/blog/2022/05/19/updated_charts/#:~:text=The%20system%20of%20mass%20incarceration,incarcerated%20in%20the%20United%20States.). Black families are afflicted by deadly [health ailments](https://apnews.com/article/black-americans-health-disparities-takeaways-434d87016d1e1e7ebd88752792be9acc) and [unemployment rates](https://www.brookings.edu/2023/02/13/historical-unemployment-for-black-women-and-men-in-the-united-states-1954-2021/) that are singular on the national landscape.
Now were heading toward the death of Americas last surviving race-based redistributive program. The controversies surrounding affirmative action have revolved around education — in other words, the legacy of the Harvard Plan — a narrow debate that has foreclosed the possibilities of what affirmative action could have been.
Arthur Fletchers Philadelphia Plan is a reminder that even the less ambitious civil-rights advocates once had more expansive dreams than improving diversity in ivory towers and the C-suite. It was ultimately doomed by several overlapping factors: the GOPs wholesale turn against Black communities, the white working classs betrayal of their Black peers, and the governments terror of sparking a backlash from white voters. Alongside the Harvard Plan, it represented the other half of the affirmative-action equation: the idea that the government could help build a Black middle class the same way the labor movement made a white middle class, by creating good-paying jobs for low-skilled workers without a lot of education. And it never had a chance.
The first-ever federal agency for investigating claims of racial discrimination in hiring, known as the [Fair Employment Practices Committee](https://www.archives.gov/milestone-documents/executive-order-8802), was created in 1941. Black workers were being denied jobs en masse despite a boom in the defense industry, and Black labor leader A. Philip Randolph threatened President Franklin D. Roosevelt with a 100,000-strong March on Washington if he did not take executive action. The FEPC managed to head off Randolphs protest, but otherwise turned out to be functionally useless at stopping discrimination. It was defunct by 1946.
The more forceful equal-opportunity policies of the Kennedy and Johnson administrations were a response to the pressure of the civil-rights movement. Kennedy gave an executive order barring employers from discriminating on the basis of race and required federal contractors to provide equal employment opportunities — meaning not intentionally keeping non-white workers out of a job. Johnson introduced permanent contract bans for scofflaw firms, while the [1964 Civil Rights Act](https://www.archives.gov/milestone-documents/civil-rights-act#:~:text=This%20act%2C%20signed%20into%20law,civil%20rights%20legislation%20since%20Reconstruction.), which he signed into law, made discrimination across a host of categories — race, sex, religion, national origin — illegal in areas including jobs.
But by the time Nixon was sworn in, every major effort by the federal government to make sure employers werent freezing Black people out of the job market had fallen short, giving rise to the ominous possibility of Black revolt. Nixons first term coincided with the age of Black power, an evolution of the civil-rights movement that was more militant. Its insurrectionary edge was expressed through uprisings in the nations Black ghettos, and its intellectual and political sympathies were wrapped up in the revolutionary movements spanning the Global South, especially Africa. These movements were anti-imperialist, and many were Marxist. The specter of a homegrown anti-capitalist insurrection, however small, during the height of the Cold War spooked Nixon, and he responded with a deadly counterintelligence program — [COINTELPRO](https://www.aclu.org/documents/more-about-fbi-spying) — dedicated to neutralizing groups like the Black Panthers. Publicly, however, Nixon adopted a less combative approach to the problem of Black dissatisfaction, which was focused as much on economic inequality as political inequality.
Arthur Fletcher, now known as the “father of affirmative action,” was the face of Richard Nixons civil-rights agenda. Photo: Bob Daugherty/ASSOCIATED PRESS
This was where Black capitalism came in. Fletcher sympathized with the anger in the ghetto, but thought that revolution was preposterous. “He was an unabashed capitalist, he was an anti-communist, and he saw fitting into the system as the best way forward for equality between the races,” said Golland, Fletchers biographer.
So when contractors started agreeing to the Philadelphia Plans terms and setting goals for how they would integrate, Fletcher felt vindicated. He set off on a victory tour with stops in Atlanta, New York, Phoenix, Chicago, and Baltimore, and made syndicated television appearances trumpeting the Nixon administrations affirmative-action program, which was more aggressive than his Democratic predecessors. The plan began to spread to other cities.
But with hindsight, it is easy to see his efforts were doomed. His work on Nixons behalf did not win him more influence. Hed almost single-handedly made the administrations civil-rights agenda look sincere, but the president was still courting Jim Crow nostalgists. “A cabinet-level position for a Black man at that time would have undermined the Southern Strategy,” Golland writes, referring to the GOPs growing dependence on white votes from [former Confederate states](https://belonging.berkeley.edu/new-southern-strategy). Plus, Fletchers success was making lots of people mad. “This thing is about as popular as a crab in a whorehouse,” said Everett Dirksen, the Republican Senate minority leader. The Philadelphia Plan was even more poisonous to white labor leaders and rank-and-file tradesmen, whose resistance to integration made them ripe targets for the coalition the GOP was trying to build even as it tried to placate the civil-rights community.
In the spring of 1970, hundreds of pro-war construction workers converged on lower Manhattan and attacked student demonstrators who were protesting the recent killings of four university students at Kent State. These workers were joined a few days later by local longshoremen, white-collar workers, and union leaders in a series of protests against the NYPDs nonresponse to the student protests. Tens of thousands surrounded City Hall on May 20. Peter J. Brennan, a Nixon supporter who headed the Building and Construction Trades Council of Greater New York, followed up with a visit to the White House, where he presented the president with a ceremonial hard hat. Nixons embrace of the so-called “[Hard Hat Rioters](https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/hard-hat-riot-1970-pitted-construction-workers-against-anti-war-protestors-180974831/)” enraged civil-rights leaders, but the president was starting to see the future of the GOP in these workers.
Brennan was an innovator in ducking Fletchers affirmative-action initiatives. He devised an alternative policy in New York that allowed local construction firms to exempt themselves from the Philadelphia Plan by coming up with their own more flexible integration goals. These so-called “Hometown Plans” were a sham, but they were good news for Nixon — if labor leaders complained to him about Fletcher being overzealous, he could point to this workaround as an alternative.
Still, firms that had failed to uphold their own integration plans were having their contracts terminated. To them, even the most modest requirements — one union was asked to increase its Black membership from six out of 800 — were an intolerable threat to the bottom line. Eventually, white labor leaders turned against Fletcher in force and made Nixon choose between them. “This fellow Fletcher, this appointee of yours, Im sure youre not responsible for what hes doing right now,” said Brennan at a 1971 meeting with Nixon. “People are trying to do the right thing and being harassed.” For his part, Nixon saw Black people as ingrates for not rewarding him with more votes. “Weve done more than anybody else,” he complained, “and they dont … appreciate it.”
Fletcher was transferred out of the Labor Department in 1971 and stripped of his enforcement authority. “Fletcher had served his purpose,” writes Golland of how Nixon abandoned him. Meanwhile, the presidents relationship with Brennan was only getting stronger. Nixon agreed to withdraw his support for the Philadelphia Plan if the Labor leader agreed not to endorse his Democratic opponent in the 1972 election. At the time, this was practically unheard of. [Democrats were the party of trade unions](https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2018/01/democrats-paid-a-huge-price-for-letting-unions-die.html) and could reliably count on the vocal support of Brennan and other white union leaders. But the Democratic Partys association with civil rights under Kennedy and Johnson had caused a rift with the unions, which were now becoming more reactionary thanks, in part, to the Philadelphia Plan. Nixon made a devils bargain: Sacrifice Black equality to bring the white working class into the GOPs tent. As agreed, Brennan declined to endorse George McGovern. He was rewarded by being named Nixons new secretary of Labor.
Brennans rise effectively killed proactive federal enforcement of affirmative action in the early 1970s. Fletcher stuck around after Nixons impeachment to help Gerald Ford, and eventually stumped for the former vice-president during his successful 1976 Republican primary campaign against Ronald Reagan. But Fletcher spent most of his next chapter in the private sector, capitalizing on his GOP connections and association with the Philadelphia Plan to become a prized diversity consultant for Fortune 500 companies seeking to hire more minorities.
Historians see the migration of white working-class voters to the GOP that Nixon brokered as crucial to Donald Trumps 2016 presidential election. Its consequences include the most committedly right-wing Supreme Court majority in a generation — a cohort that makes no apologies for operating less as dispassionate jurists than as agents of the conservative movement. That Nixons Southern Strategy was hastened by an affirmative-action policy that he himself championed shows the deft and cynical way he played on both sides of the racial divide.
The idea that affirmative action would have a major economic component, that a nudge from the government would make Black capitalism an instrument of equality, had failed. And it was not just a Republican failure — as the parties underwent a realignment and Democrats became more fully the party of civil rights, they, too, abandoned the idea of labor-based affirmative action. From then on, affirmative action would increasingly be associated with education, on the assumption that a rite of passage through college would foment a robust Black middle class.
The deprivation that Black Americans faced in the post-Nixon years was relentless. In 1980, the [Washington *Post*](https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/politics/1980/09/12/minority-hiring-plan-partial-success-partial-failure/1ef58a32-c840-4f70-9597-6f8387a34653/) sent reporters to check on how Fletchers Philadelphia Plan was faring 11 years after its debut. They found a local welder named Ephraim Oakley, who had invested $15,000 in equipment under the impression that the federal government would ensure he could get work. But when he tried obtaining a union card with the local steamfitters, he was turned away. “Because those damned people wont let me into their union, Im losing thousands of dollars in work,” he said. “Im being penalized for being a nigger.” The plan had made some of the trade unions more racially mixed — it was implemented in more than 30 cities — but federal enforcement had fallen by the wayside. “It absolutely failed,” said Golland.
Here was the main problem with “Black capitalism”: There wasnt enough capital in Black communities to sustain it, ensuring that any asset-holders who set up shop were immediately underwater. Nixon never wanted to fund his initiative, either, making it little more than a politically expedient cover. “Black capitalism was a decoy,” said Mehrsa Baradaran, the Irvine law professor.
Ronald Reagans election was accelerating the white working-class [migration](https://www.vanderbilt.edu/unity/2021/04/15/trump-didnt-bring-white-working-class-voters-to-the-republican-party-he-kept-them-away/) to the GOP, a theme of which was the perceived overreach of the civil-rights movement. Cries of reverse discrimination against white Americans echoed across the country, fueled by the metamorphosis in large segments of the economy from blue-collar to white. The middle class was shrinking, the pathways into it narrowing. “In the context of diminishing rewards for the white majority facing a more and more tenuous grasp on the middle class, what is predictable is animosity,” said Touré Reed, who is co-director of the African American Studies Program at Illinois State University.
Meanwhile, other forms of affirmative action were also coming under assault. The first major challenge to affirmative action in higher education came in 1977, when the case of Allan Bakke reached the Supreme Court. Bakke was a white medical-school applicant in California who claimed he had been rejected from UC Davis because of a racial quota. Arguing that “reverse discrimination is as wrong as the primary variety it seeks to correct,” Bakke sought to eliminate the consideration of race in school admissions entirely. In an attempt to appeal to the Courts conservatives, the lawyer for the school, Archibald Cox, reframed the legal basis for affirmative action by saying it served the interests of schools to allow them to curate a diverse environment. In the summer of 1978, Lewis Powell, the swing vote appointed by Nixon, [split the difference](https://www.oyez.org/cases/1979/76-811): Daviss quota system had to go, he ruled, but schools could still consider race in admissions as long as promoting diversity was their only objective.
The decision is credited with saving affirmative action in higher education. But it also narrowed its scope, such that its original rationales — redress for past discrimination and the end of material deprivation — were legally invalid and de-emphasized in the public consciousness. And it gave legal heft to trends that were already smothering the redistributive ambitions of the 1960s: a growing consensus that America did not owe anything to Black people.
In [1989](https://www.oyez.org/cases/1988/87-998), the Supreme Court delivered a decisive blow against affirmative action in the building trades when it ruled against the capital of Virginias policy of setting aside a percentage of contracts for minority-run firms. The GOP had effectively rebranded such policies as a quota system for unqualified Black people — or “affirmative *Black*\-tion,” as Reed put it, quoting the derisive nickname used by Edward Nortons neo-Nazi character in *American History X*.
In Texas in 1992, a Republican congressional candidate named [Edward Blum](https://www.nytimes.com/2017/11/19/us/affirmative-action-lawsuits.html) lost an election. He responded to his defeat by blaming an unfairly drawn district, which made it too easy, in his opinion, for a minority candidate to triumph, and brought his case before the U.S. Supreme Court in 1996. The Court ruled in his favor, citing an illegal racial gerrymander — the first of many legal victories for the conservative activist, who made it his lifes mission to eradicate the consideration of race in any aspect of the law or education.
The national mood was in his favor: California voters passed Proposition 209 the same year as Blums first Supreme Court victory, outlawing affirmative action in any state or government institution. According to a 2020 [study](https://cshe.berkeley.edu/sites/default/files/publications/rops.cshe.10.2020.bleemer.prop209.8.20.2020.pdf) by researchers at UC Berkeley, Prop 209 led to a “cascade” of Black and Hispanic UC applicants into “lower-quality” public and private schools, resulting in steep long-term declines in their degree-completion rates and wage earnings.
This was all happening amid an influx of Asian immigrants in the 1990s, who were generally wealthier, more highly educated, and more attractive to white-collar employers than their predecessors in the post-1965 wave. White people seeking to justify Americas racial inequities had long pointed to this [cohort](https://www.npr.org/2021/05/25/999874296/6-charts-that-dismantle-the-trope-of-asian-americans-as-a-model-minority) — people with East or South Asian ancestry, often glossing over the more downtrodden Southeasterners and Pacific Islanders — as evidence that racisms grip had loosened, or to argue that Black people were pathological and so deserved whatever grim fate befell them. But as Asian Americans established themselves in greater numbers, and in some cases started outpacing whites in income and educational achievement, many began to wonder why their successes had not earned them a proportional spot among the countrys elite.
The concerns of these Asian American activists dovetailed with decades of white conservative demagoguery, resulting in an almost absurd amount of quibbling over which of the highest-achieving students in the country deserved access to its most exclusive schools. “Thats one of the things Ive always found personally disturbing about this,” said Reed. “I dont think that most of the differences between these applicants are actually meaningful.”
Blum helped bring the case of a rejected University of Texas applicant named [Abigail Fisher](https://www.oyez.org/cases/2012/11-345) that ended up before the Supreme Court in 2016. Fishers lawyers argued that she was rejected in favor of less qualified minorities, and her defeat, amid revelations that her grades were less than sterling, was met with glee — hashtags like `#StayMadAbby` and pejorative nicknames like “Becky With the Bad Grades” took over social media. But Blum was already preparing his encore. He has since partnered with the ideological descendants of those 1990s Asian American activists, organizing them under the name Students for Fair Admissions, to argue that Harvard has a quota for keeping Asian applicants out. (In its less famous sister case, SFFA has claimed that the University of North Carolinas recruitment of first-generation and low-income students discriminates against other applicants.)
If Blums challenges are successful, the effects would be devastating. Everywhere that such programs have been eliminated, their modest benefits have revealed them as far preferable to their absence: more minorities in jobs and in schools, and with greater access to the trappings of a middle-class life. It would also be a fitting, if grim, end to a policy that has been assailed and chipped away at from its very inception.
By the mid-1990s, Arthur Fletcher, fresh off a position as George H.W. Bushs chair of the U.S. Commission on Civil Rights, found himself a lonely defender of the policy he helped create. “I would have been content to remain a footnote in history had the Republican Party, to which I have been loyal for more than fifty years, decided not to use affirmative action as a wedge issue in 1996,” he wrote. “Even my old friend Bob Dole, the Senate majority leader, who strongly supported affirmative action over the years, has turned against it in his drive to win the GOP nomination for president.”
Fletcher [decided](https://www.nytimes.com/1995/07/09/us/civil-rights-official-joins-gop-field-for-1996.html) to throw his own hat in the ring as the only pro-affirmative-action Republican presidential candidate. But there was no appetite for what he was offering, 25 years after a GOP administration had made his affirmative-action program a centerpiece of its Black agenda. He technically ran in the 1996 election, but his campaign was doing so poorly that he had to bow out in 1995.
Fletcher died in 2005. His biographer told me his effects included newspaper clippings from almost every single story about [*Grutter* v. *Bollinger*](https://www.oyez.org/cases/2002/02-241), the 2003 Supreme Court case that extended Powells decision to preserve affirmative action in higher education. “He wasnt involved in the case at all, but it mattered to him,” Golland said. Hed also never changed his party affiliation, despite the reality that being a pro-affirmative-action Republican had become an oxymoron. Change from the inside was still possible, Fletcher believed. “From 1976 to 1995, thats slightly less than 20 years,” Golland said. “Fletcher thought that if the party can change that quickly in such a short period of time, it can also change back.”
It has not changed back. Almost 20 years have passed since Fletchers death, and his beloved GOP has migrated even further away from his ideal. For all his misplaced faith in his party, the Kansan knew that Black people faced too many obstacles to become full participants in the economy without help. Today, you can barely find a Republican wholl acknowledge the problem, let alone be affirmative about solving it.
A big reason why Fletchers affirmative-action idea was palatable to Nixon, and why Coxs diversity rationale appealed to Justice Powell, was because both were a rebuke to the idea that a racially egalitarian America could be achieved through a mix of generous welfare programs and aggressive enforcement of anti-discrimination laws. Black capitalisms central promise was that simply giving Black people access to the free market could allow them to rise up economically, but even that proved too much for white America. Black capitalism has now been replaced with an even hollower promise of diversity. “The main purpose of diversity is to give white people a more diverse experience rather than to give non-white people an equal opportunity,” said Golland, Fletchers biographer.
Today, affirmative action gets treated even by Democrats like a child theyre mildly ashamed of. President Joe Biden [supports](https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/presidential-actions/2021/01/20/executive-order-advancing-racial-equity-and-support-for-underserved-communities-through-the-federal-government/) it, and in 2021 his administration [urged](https://www.reuters.com/world/us/biden-administration-asks-us-supreme-court-reject-harvard-affirmative-action-2021-12-09/) the Supreme Court not to hear the Harvard case. But while few in the party disparage it, they dont embrace it, either, likely because of the mixed messages provided by polling. And they certainly havent adopted anything resembling an affirmative-action policy for the labor force. Even the most obvious solution to the Supreme Court striking down affirmative action, a renewed push for universal programs like in President Johnsons Great Society, is complicated by the prospect of a familiar backlash against programs that are often [coded](https://apnews.com/article/fbd5d3c83e3243e9b03e46d7cb842eaa) as helping Black people.
When the *Bakke* arguments were heard in 1977, there was still much to be optimistic about: the major legislative victories of the civil-rights movement were just a decade old, and the new social order it birthed was still taking shape. People [camped](https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/politics/1977/10/13/crowd-waits-all-night-for-bakke-arguments/e4090b13-8956-4f47-a204-b31be586528a/) outside the courthouse to see how Americas most powerful institutions would respond to one of its first major challenges, and Powells ruling was greeted with relief. We live in a different world now. The anti-civil-rights backlash that followed has since calcified into a dominant theme of our politics. Betrayal of the movement is becoming more complete by the day — losses that we swallow more frequently now than before, but no less bitterly. “Im assuming a bloodbath is coming,” said Reed. “But well see. I hope not.”
Affirmative Action Never Had a Chance
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Date: 2023-07-29
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# America Has Never Seen a Spectacle Like Messi
![](https://pyxis.nymag.com/v1/imgs/66d/783/625db3e68cbcdc50f04bb8a9dc7e158b0a-miami-soccer-01.rhorizontal.w700.jpg)
Photo: Giorgio Viera/AFP via Getty Images
Weve been asked to believe before. When the bombastic Swede Zlatan Ibrahimovic came to play in Los Angeles in 2018, it was going to herald a new era for soccer in North America, just as it would when the legendary Ivorian Didier Drogba arrived in Montreal in 2015, and the mercurial Brazilian Kaká in Orlando, and the generationally talented Frenchman Thierry Henry in New York, or the superstar Brit Wayne Rooney in D.C., all of them having followed David Beckhams lead. The sport was about to take over *any second now* thanks to demographic transformations, a TV-rights revolution, the sheer energy visible in bars and parks and playgrounds every four years during the mens [World Cup](https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2022/12/the-last-world-cup.html) — not to mention the [American womens multiple championship runs](https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2023/07/fifa-world-cup-2023-u-s-womens-team-aims-for-glory-again.html). The era of Pelés ill-fated 1975 arrival in Manhattan was ancient history.
In a way, it was all true. American soccer has grown rapidly, and those stars all had something to do with it, as have the improvement of schoolyard culture, increasingly aggressive broadcast deals for the major European leagues, and better-organized training regimes. It just hasnt been true *enough*.
This time is different.
This months arrival of [Lionel Messi](https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2023/06/messi-to-miami-shows-that-major-league-soccer-has-arrived.html) to Miami is already something entirely new. This time, sports in America have shifted, the worlds biggest superstar and most recent World Cup hero having touched down not just in search of an easy career denouement but — as his [debut goal](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K6fltq0dn_E), a stunning long-range, game-winning free kick that felt almost scripted, demonstrated — a new paradigm. At minimum, its a real reordering of American athletic attention. At least, as long as he stays.
Sometime between his familys heavily photographed arrival in Fort Lauderdale and the moment his inch-perfect free kick spun into the back of the net as his debut game ended last Friday, it became clear that we are now witness to something novel: a genuine American soccer spectacle.
This Messi is no longer the one who twists world-class opponents into dust for 90 minutes, but still one whose routine moments of transcendent grace and precision force the other 21 players on the field to shape their every movement around him. Before that ball bounced off the nets pink twine and hit the grass with the final whistle in South Florida, it was evident that this Messi was one who could ensure that even if soccer never comes to dominate in this country like it does elsewhere, it will no longer be ignorable. And if — *if* — he stays long enough to make the spectacle a fixture, and if his glow is as durable as it now seems, the best to ever play the sport could stand to inspire a sea change in the way his new home views it, and how the soccer world views that new home.
There was not ultimately much romance to the 36-year-old Messis arrival. His new teams owners, Beckham and the billionaire Cuban American Mas brothers, had been [pursuing him since 2019](https://theathletic.com/4667336/2023/07/15/lionel-messi-inter-miami-contract/), before his new team Inter Miami even formally existed. Their long-standing promise to Messis entourage was that he would forever change the sport by landing in America. They explained their plan to build a new stadium near Miamis airport, replacing their underwhelming temporary structure in Fort Lauderdale, and to bring some of his old superstar buddies over, too. And they laid out an unheard-of contract reportedly consisting of eventual part ownership of the team on top of a cut of Adidass merchandise revenues and of Apples broadcasting money — up to $70 million per year, in a league with an average salary of under half a million. Even then, Messi only signed once his relationship with his Qatar-owned superteam in Paris had soured beyond redemption and once it was clear that his old club in Catalonia could no longer afford him. And no one is under any illusions that this experiment would last much more than two years; it may run out after one.
But for the moment, Major League Soccer, the top American league, is suddenly what its been trying to become ever since its advent in 1993: one (just not *the*) power center of the soccer world. In recent years, it had come to embrace a new kind of influence, as young, mostly Latin American talents combined with older Euro castoffs and all sorts of Americans to make the league surprisingly competitive, at least enough to regularly ship promising players over to established clubs in Europe. No longer was it so reliant on once-great, near-retirement European players to draw fans. As recently as December, the league was celebrating the news that for the first time, one of its players had won a World Cup: Thiago Almada, a young star for Atlanta United surely headed for a big-money move to Europe soon, had played a few meaningless minutes for Argentina at last years World Cup in Qatar.
But now theres Messi, whose first minutes in Miami pink immediately made the game the most-watched American one ever, by far. Miamis No. 10 jerseys are on backorder through October; every single ticket for every one of the teams games for the remainder of the season has seen its price balloon.
1. ![](https://pyxis.nymag.com/v1/imgs/ed1/91d/2b5c4a1219d245c78983fb0e70969b0e76-miami-soccer-08.rhorizontal.w670.jpg)
Celebrating with his family during the Leagues Cup 2023 match between Cruz Azul and Inter Miami. (Tap or click to see
2.
3. Shirts for sale in the Wynwood Art District of Miami.
4.
5. Celebrating last weeks game-winner.
6.
If the non-soccer media has had a hard time explaining the magnitude of Messis move, thats because no clear parallel exists. Messis path from too-tiny prodigy in Rosario to once-in-a-lifetime phenom in Barcelona is well known by now even to casual fans. So is his redemption arc for Argentines, his determination to apply his singular sorcery one last time, winning his country its first major trophies in almost 30 years — first the brutal continental Copa America in 2021, then the pyrotechnically dramatic World Cup in 2022. Thus, he completed his journey from “just a little too cold and Spanish” to “deity on the level of Diego Maradona.”
The toxic debates that once dominated soccers online fever swamps, over whether Messi or the Portuguese star Cristiano Ronaldo was better, have mostly faded since Messi won the World Cup, occasionally replaced by half-hearted bait: *Okay, but is Messi bigger than Taylor Swift or Beyoncé?* Even those arguments tend to end with images of Argentinas World Cup celebrations, when an estimated 4 million Porteños [filled the streets of Buenos Aires](https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/2022/12/18/argentina-world-cup-win-celebration/). Those revelries werent just limited to South America; some of the most buoyant street parties were reported as far afield as [Bangladesh](https://www.marca.com/en/world-cup/2022/12/01/6388c9bcca47413a1f8b459a.html). Within weeks of the news that Messi would be joining Inter Miami, his previously mostly anonymous club became Instagrams fourth-most-followed American team in any sport, topping every single MLB and NFL franchise. Its [12 million new fans](https://www.instagram.com/intermiamicf/) lapped even the [original Inter](https://www.instagram.com/inter/?hl=en), the historic Milanese side that just this spring finished as the second-best in all of Europe.
And it was not immediately obvious what American viewers, or Messi, could expect when he arrived. Rooney, for one, predicted a rough welcome. Now the coach of D.C. United, the former striker [warned](https://www.espn.com/soccer/story/_/id/38020665/lionel-messi-find-easy-mls-wayne-rooney) that Messi “wont find it easy here. It sounds mad, but players who come in find its a tough league — the traveling, the different conditions in different cities, and theres a lot of energy and intensity on the pitch.” The young Argentine Álvaro Barreal, of FC Cincinnati, meanwhile, [predicted](https://tntsports.com.ar/internacional/messi-tres-goles-por-partido-20230713-0078.html) Messi would score three or four goals per game.
The MLS is a physically demanding league, but not a particularly skilled or fast one compared to the Spanish or French leagues hed been winning for years. His new team, too, was terrible — when Messi and his former Barcelona teammate Sergio Busquets arrived, Inter Miami hadnt won since May. But on this question, at least, we have a preliminary answer. Messi scored thrice in his first hour on the pitch (including two goals in his second game on Tuesday night), completely transforming his suddenly high-flying squad and looking a bit like a high-schooler ripping through a middle-school recess game.
What makes his arrival different on the field is the sheer entertainment value of what he can routinely create. With a team geared toward supporting him, he is capable of brilliance that comes from nowhere and which can almost seem routine if you watch enough of him but looks alien if you dont. Beckham didnt have that, nor did Rooney. None of their ilk dominated a World Cup half a year before landing Stateside.
Miami, it seems, knew what it was getting. The capital of Latin America has been bathed in the teams pink, its walls covered in new murals of his face, the Messi familys every move being tracked minutely enough to cause a social-media and real-life stampede on a Publix in Sea Ranch Lakes when he was spotted shopping for cereal upon arriving.
The city appears intent on projecting to the rest of the country how lucky it should feel that Messi opted for it over the Saudi Arabian siren song thats luring scores of his would-be peers. That countrys [Public Investment Fund has plowed unprecedented cash](https://www.nytimes.com/2023/06/02/sports/soccer/saudi-soccer-messi-benzema-ronaldo.html) into its league following Ronaldos arrival last year, all in an attempt to improve the countrys reputation by associating it with a popular sport, [like it did with golf](https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2023/06/the-pgas-liv-merger-shows-it-never-had-any-principles.html). Messi, who already had a [$25 million tourism deal](https://www.nytimes.com/2023/06/18/sports/soccer/lionel-messi-saudi-arabia.html) with the kingdom, was considering one local clubs offer that was reported to reach $1.6 billion over three years. Meanwhile, other teams have spent the summer luring a surprising number of high-level players from England, Spain, Italy, France, and Germany, likely considerably raising the local level of play and significantly destabilizing soccers finances and market structure. As I type, Messis former team in Paris has been considering an unprecedented Saudi offer of around $300 million for the young French supernova Kylian Mbappe, who would rake in nearly $800 million for one year of work.
Even if Messi vaults the MLS into prime time, the league might not reach elite status on the international stage — not when its effectively up against an effectively unlimited cash pit in the Gulf. But some players have already suggested theyd prefer living in Miami or L.A. or New York for a fraction of the ludicrous salaries on offer, and perhaps Messi can hasten that trend. In opting for (still wildly lucrative) Miami, he did not appear to be seeking a role in a geopolitical tug-of-war, but basic happiness, if the smiles that plaster his face every time hes seen in public now are any indication. The honeymoon period will end eventually, but as rumors fly about which of his other former teammates and friends might soon join him in Florida, he appears more at ease by the minute. ([Jordi Alba? Confirmed.](https://www.intermiamicf.com/news/inter-miami-cf-signs-spanish-international-defender-jordi-alba) Andres Iniesta and Luis Suarez? Well see.) As his fans know, a Messi who feels no need to prove anything, who feels appreciated by his team and his teammates, is a Messi at his best, or at least his most entertaining.
And what do Americans want out of their sports if not a great story punctuated by acts of superhuman athleticism? The entertainment we now have on our shores — the glamour and the celebrity and the show — may feel a bit valedictory, a bit too into itself. (As his second game started, DJ Khaled made sure Messi walked out onto the pitch with the producers young son at his side, while P. Diddy, Camila Cabello, and Rauw Alejandro watched.) But theres no doubting [all the eyeballs](https://apnews.com/article/lionel-messi-inter-miami-debut-fan-reaction-0635845e03cc8ad476aa01d47b1d2b44). There, as Messi lined up that final kick on Friday in front of a crowd two-thirds dressed in the teams pink and one-third in Argentinas signature sky blue and white, was LeBron James, not far from Kim Kardashian, gaping and filming on his iPhone. As the ball nestled into the upper corner of the net, there was Serena Williams, looking nothing short of astonished. And as the final whistle blew, there was Beckham himself, trying hard not to tear up as Messi beamed.
America Has Never Seen a Spectacle Like Messi
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# Americas Surprising Partisan Divide on Life Expectancy
POLITICO illustration/Photos by iStock
*Colin Woodard is a POLITICO Magazine contributing writer and director of the* [*Nationhood Lab*](http://www.nationhoodlab.org/) *at Salve Regina Universitys Pell Center for International Relations and Public Policy. He is the author of six books including* American Nations: A History of the Eleven Rival Regional Cultures of North America*.*
Where you live in America can have a major effect on how young you die.
On paper, Lexington County, S.C., and Placer County, Calif., have a lot in common. Theyre both big, wealthy, suburban counties with white supermajorities that border on their respective states capital cities. They both were at the vanguard of their states 20th century Republican advances — Lexington in the 1960s when it pivoted from the racist Dixiecrats; Placer with the Reagan Revolution in 1980 — and twice voted for Donald Trump by wide margins. But when it comes to how long their residents can count on living, the parallels fall apart. Placer has a Scandinavia-like life expectancy of 82.3 years. In Lexington, the figure is 77.7, a little worse than Chinas.
Or take Maines far-flung Washington County, the poorest in New England where the per capita income is $27,437. The county is a hardscrabble swath of blueberry fields, forestland and fishing ports that was ravaged by the opioid epidemic and is almost completely white. It has one of the worst life expectancies in the entire Northeast: 75.5 years. But thats more than six years better than the equally remote, forested, impoverished, white and drug-battered Perry County of eastern Kentucky.
The truth of life expectancy in America is that places with comparable profiles — similar advantages and similar problems — have widely different average life outcomes depending on what part of the country they belong to.
Step back and look at a map of life expectancy across the country and the geographic patterns are as dramatic as they are obvious. If you live pretty much anywhere in the contiguous U.S., you can expect to live more than 78 years, unless youre in the Deep South or the sprawling region I call Greater Appalachia, a region that stretches from southwestern Pennsylvania to the Ozarks and the Hill Country of Texas. Those two regions — which include all or parts of 16 deep red states and a majority of the House Republican caucus — have a life expectancy of 77, more than four and a half years lower than on the blue-leaning Pacific coastal plain. In the smaller, redder regional culture of New France (in southern Louisiana) the gap is just short of six years. So large are the regional gaps that the poorest set of counties in predominantly blue Yankee Northeast actually have higher life expectancies than the wealthiest ones in the Deep South. At a population level, a difference of five years is like the gap separating the U.S. from decidedly unwealthy Mongolia, Belarus or Libya, and six years gets you to impoverished El Salvador and Egypt.
Its as if we are living in different countries. Because in a very real historical and political sense, we are.
The geography of U.S. life expectancy — and the policy environments that determine it — is the result of differences that are regional, cultural and political, with roots going back centuries to the people who arrived on the continent with totally different ideas about equality, the proper role of government, and the correct balance point between individual liberty and the common good. Once you understand how the country was colonized — and by whom — a number of insights into Americans overall health and longevity are revealed, along with some paths to improve the situation.
As I discussed [in a widely read article on gun violence earlier this year](https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2023/04/23/surprising-geography-of-gun-violence-00092413), when it comes to defining U.S. regions you need to forget the Census Bureaus divisions, which arbitrarily divide the country into a Northeast, Midwest, South and West, using often meaningless state boundaries and a depressing ignorance of history. The reason the U.S. has strong regional differences is precisely because our swath of the North American continent was settled in the 17th and 18th centuries by rival colonial projects that had very little in common, often despised one another and spread without regard for todays state (or even international) boundaries.
Those colonial projects — Puritan-controlled New England; the Dutch-settled area around what is now New York City; the Quaker-founded Delaware Valley; the Scots-Irish-dominated upland backcountry of the Appalachians; the West Indies-style slave society in the Deep South; the Spanish project in the southwest and so on — had different religious, economic and ideological characteristics. They settled much of the eastern half and southwestern third of what is now the U.S. in mutually exclusive settlement bands before significant third party in-migration picked up steam in the 1840s. In the process — as I unpacked in my 2011 book [*American Nations: A History of the Eleven Rival Regional Cultures of North America*](https://colinwoodard.com/books/american-nations/) — they laid down the institutions, cultural norms and ideas about freedom, social responsibility and the provision of public goods that later arrivals would encounter and, by and large, assimilate into. Some states lie entirely or almost entirely within one of these regional cultures (Mississippi, Vermont, Minnesota and Montana, for instance). Other states are split between the regions, propelling constant and profound internal disagreements on politics and policy alike in places like Pennsylvania, Ohio, Illinois, California and Oregon.
At [Nationhood Lab](http://www.nationhoodlab.org/), a project I founded at Salve Regina Universitys Pell Center for International Relations and Public Policy, we use [this regional framework](https://www.nationhoodlab.org/a-balkanized-federation/) to analyze all manner of phenomena in American society and how one might go about responding to them. Weve looked at everything from [gun violence](https://www.nationhoodlab.org/the-geography-of-u-s-gun-violence/) and [attitudes toward threats to democracy](https://www.nationhoodlab.org/regional-differences-in-perceptions-of-the-threats-to-u-s-democracy/) to [Covid-19 vaccination rates](https://www.nationhoodlab.org/the-american-nations-and-the-geography-of-covid-19-vaccinations/), [rural vs. urban political behavior](https://www.nationhoodlab.org/no-the-divide-in-american-politics-is-not-rural-vs-urban-and-heres-the-data-to-prove-it/) and [the geography of the 2022 midterm elections](https://www.nationhoodlab.org/the-2022-midterms-and-the-american-nations-regional-differences-trump-rural-urban-divide-most-everywhere-with-a-couple-of-important-exceptions/). This summer weve been drilling down on health, [including a detailed examination of the geography of life expectancy published earlier this week](https://www.nationhoodlab.org/the-regional-geography-of-u-s-life-expectancy/). Working with our [data partners Motivf](https://www.motivf.com/), we parsed the rich trove of county-level life expectancy estimates calculated from the Centers for Disease Control data for the years 2017-2020 by the University of Wisconsin Population Health Institutes [County Health Ranking and Roadmaps](https://www.countyhealthrankings.org/) project. We wanted to answer the bottom-line question: Is your region helping extend your life or shorten it?
The [results show](https://www.nationhoodlab.org/the-regional-geography-of-u-s-life-expectancy/) enormous gaps between the regions that dont go away when you parse by race, income, education, urbanization or access to quality medical care. They amount to a rebuke to generations of elected officials in the Deep South, Greater Appalachia and New France — most of whom have been Republican in recent decades — who have resisted investing tax dollars in public goods and health programs.
“We dont have these differences in health outcomes because of individual behaviors, its related to the policy environments people are living in,” says Jeanne Ayers, who was Wisconsins top public health official during the Covid pandemic and is now executive director of [Healthy Democracy Healthy People, a collaboration of 11 national public health agencies](https://www.healthydemocracyhealthypeople.org/about/) probing the links between political participation and health. “Your health is only 10 percent influenced by the medical environment and maybe 20 or 30 percent in behavioral choices. The social and political determinants of health are overwhelmingly what youre seeing in these maps.”
I shared these maps with cardiologist Donald Lloyd-Jones, a past president of the American Heart Association who chairs the preventive medicine department at Northwestern University in Chicago, who said they didnt surprise him at all. “Theres a reason why the Southeastern portion of this country is called the Stroke Belt: Its because the rates of stroke per capita are substantially higher there and mirrored by rates of cardiovascular disease, diabetes, obesity and other risk factors.”
“The places on [your map](https://www.nationhoodlab.org/the-regional-geography-of-u-s-life-expectancy/) where you see orange and red have structural and systemic issues that limit peoples ability to have socioeconomic opportunity, access health care, or achieve maximum levels of education,” Lloyd-Jones added. “All of these policies affect your health and these disparities in longevity absolutely reflect social and structural and historical policies in those regions.”
**At Nationhood Lab** we wondered if all of this is might just be a reflection of wealth. Some [American regions](https://www.nationhoodlab.org/a-balkanized-federation/) have always had higher standards of living than others because their cultures prioritize the common good over individual liberty, social equality over economic freedom and quality services more than low taxes. The Deep South was founded by English slave lords from Barbados who didnt care about shared prosperity; The Puritan founders of Yankeedom — who thought God had chosen them to create a more perfect society — very much did, and it made the average person materially a lot better off, both then and now. Maybe the differences between the regions would go away if you compared just rich counties to one another or just the poor ones?
Nope.
We used the prevalence of child poverty as our metric and compared the life expectancy of the least impoverished quartile of U.S. counties — the “richest” ones, in other words — across the regions. As you see in the graphic below, the gaps persisted: 4.6 years between the *rich* counties in the Left Coast and Deep South, for instance. And they got wider from there when we compared the counties with the highest percentage of children living in poverty: a staggering 6.7 years between those same two regions. Further, the life expectancy gaps between rich and poor counties *within* each of these regions varied: It was more than twice as wide in Greater Appalachia (3.4 years) and the Deep South (4.3 years) as in Yankeedom (1.7 years.) We saw similar patterns when we repeated the exercise using education levels. When it comes to life and death, some regions are less equal than others.
The same went for relative access to quality clinical care. CHRR assigns every U.S. county a ranking for this based on a combination of 10 factors, including the number of doctors, dentists, mental health professionals, mammography screens, flu vaccinations and uninsured people per capita, as well as how often Medicare enrollees wind up admitted to hospitals with conditions that should be able to be treated on an outpatient basis, an indication the latter services werent available. We compared those counties in the top quartiles of this ranking system to one another across the regions and found the gap between them not only persisted, it actually widened, with the Deep South falling about two and half years behind Yankeedom, El Norte and the Far West, 4.4 years behind New Netherland and 5.1 behind Left Coast.
We repeated the experiment using counties that fell in the worst quartile for clinical care and saw the gap grow even wider, with Greater Appalachian (74.6) and Deep Southern (74.7) life expectancy in those communities lagging Yankeedom by about 3 years and New Netherland by about five and a half. That there are fewer counties where most people can afford and access top-notch clinical care in these southern regions than the northern and Pacific coast ones isnt really a surprise: laissez-faire political leaders tend to create systems that have looser health insurance regulations, leaner Medicaid programs and fewer public and non-profit hospitals. That those that do manage to have decent services nonetheless underperform suggests reversing these gaps wont be easy.
Turns out even the “haves” are not doing better in the “laissez-faire” regions. One of the most arresting facts that emerged from our analysis was that the most impoverished quartile of U.S. counties in Yankeedom (ones where around 30 to 60 percent of children live in poverty) have a *higher* life expectancy than the least impoverished quartile of U.S. counties (where child poverty ranges from 3 to 15 percent) in the Deep South by 0.3 years. Those are both big regions (circa 50 million people each) with a wide mix of counties: rural, urban, rich, poor, blue-collar and white-collar, agricultural and industrial. If you compare the poorest category of counties in (completely urbanized) New Netherland to the richest ones in Deep South, the former has a 0.4-year advantage in life expectancy. And people in the Left Coasts poorest quartile of counties live 2.4 years longer than those in the richest quartile counties in the Deep South.
I asked CHRRs co-director, Marjory Givens, for her reaction to the gaps. “This is logical considering the overall values and variation in health and opportunity of Yankeedom are more favorable than the Deep South or Greater Appalachia,” she said. “There are regions of the country with structural barriers to health, where types of long-standing discrimination and disinvestment have occurred through policies and practices applied and reinforced by people with more power. … Counties in these regions have fewer social and economic opportunities today.”
One example: [States that have expanded Medicaid eligibility](https://www.cbpp.org/research/health/medicaid-expansion-has-saved-at-least-19000-lives-new-research-finds#:~:text=The%20lifesaving%20impacts%20of%20Medicaid,for%20older%20adults%20gaining%20coverage.) have seen significant reductions in premature deaths while those that have not have seen increases. At this writing, 11 states still havent expanded the state-implemented program even though almost the entire burden of doing so comes from the federal government. All but two of those states are controlled by the Deep South and Greater Appalachia. Just one — Wisconsin — is in Yankeedom, and its Democratic governor has been trying to expand it through a ([vigorously gerrymandered](https://www.brennancenter.org/our-work/analysis-opinion/gerrymandering-loses-big)) Republican legislature. Expansion was a no-brainer for Republican administrations in Michigan, Ohio, New Jersey, New Hampshire and Vermont, but a bridge too far for their colleagues further south.
Or take New Netherland, the Dutch-settled area around whats now New York City. Despite its density, diversity and income inequalities — and contrary to [the “urban hell-hole” rhetoric of the extreme right](https://www.foxnews.com/opinion/greg-gutfeld-our-cities-turning-into-hellholes) — its one of the healthiest places to live in the U.S., with an overall life expectancy of 80.9 years. “You can have policies that can meaningfully change life expectancy: reduce drug overdoses, expand Medicaid, adopt gun control, protect abortion and maternal health,” says data scientist Jeremy Ney, author of the [American Inequality](https://americaninequality.substack.com/) data project. “That New Netherland region ticks the box on all five of those.”
Before you ask, yes, we also compared just rural and just urban counties across the [American Nations model](https://www.nationhoodlab.org/a-balkanized-federation/)s regions and the gaps persisted. As expected, life expectancy is better in urban places in all the regions, but the gap between urban and rural counties almost disappeared in Yankeedom — where even the smallest municipalities often have powers comparable to those of counties in other regions — and the Far West. The latter was a bit surprising given the vast open spaces typical of that region, which fosters the social isolation that has contributed to the regions frighteningly high suicide rates.
And, given that Black Americans have a nearly four-year disadvantage in life expectancy compared to whites, we looked at racial disparities across the regions. Echoing what we saw between rich and poor counties, there are big gaps in whites-only life expectancy across the regions, with whites in Greater Appalachia dying 3.6 years sooner than whites in Left Coast and 4.4 years sooner than those in New Netherland. In the Deep South, the region with the distinction of having had the continents most repressive formal slave and racial caste systems, the gap with the three aforementioned regions was almost identical — just a tenth of a year better than Greater Appalachia. Three centuries of formal white supremacy hasnt served whites very well.
Five years ago, University of Cincinnati sociologist Jennifer Malat and two colleagues [probed a related question](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28716453/): Given the legacy of white privilege in American society, why do white people have lower life expectancy than their counterparts in Canada and Western Europe, as well as per capita suicide and psychiatric disorder rates far higher than their Black, Asian or Latino peers? Their conclusion: “Whiteness encourages whites to reject policies designed to help the poor and reduce inequality because of animosity toward people of color as well as being unaware that the poor include a great many white people.” Other wealthy countries, they noted, produce poverty rates similar or greater than ours, but they have stronger welfare systems that buffer much of the population from the health problems that often flow from poverty. Whatever the reason, our data definitely show a relationship between social spending and health outcomes for white people across regions.
That said, African Americans actually fare a bit better, relatively speaking, in Greater Appalachia (where their life expectancy is 74.2) than in many other regions, including the Deep South (where its 73.6) and even the Far West (74.1) and Yankeedom (73.6). But starkest is that the Midlands — home to cities such as Baltimore, Philadelphia and St. Louis with some of the worst racial disparities in the country — becomes the least healthy region for Black people, with life expectancy falling to just 73 years, which is lower than the overall 2020 figure for Peru. By contrast, the super-densely populated New York City region (New Netherland) remains one of the best for Black longevity, at 76.9 years, 3.9 years higher. The bottom line is that Black/white health disparities are real and enormous, but they dont really explain the big gaps between U.S. regions.
Analyzing Hispanic life expectancy provides some fresh twists. Hispanics actually have much higher life expectancy than whites in the U.S. Researchers call this the “Hispanic Paradox” because it confounds the usual associations between socioeconomic status and life expectancy, and theyve spent considerable time trying to understand why without reaching a solid consensus. It has been established — by demographers [Alberto Palloni and Elizabeth Arias](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15461007/) — that Cuban and Puerto Rican Americans dont have better life expectancy than whites, but Mexican-Americans do.
I share this background because, curiously, we found that Hispanic life expectancy is relatively poor in El Norte (80.7 years) and the Far West (81.1), the two regions where people of Mexican descent presumably form a supermajority of the “Hispanic” population. New Netherland — home to the largest concentration of Puerto Ricans on Earth, including San Juan — isnt that great either, at 82.7. Surprisingly, southern regions do really well, with Tidewater and New France hitting the upper 80s to top the list, though you might want to take the latter finding with a grain of salt as the number of Hispanics there is pretty small.
Keith Gennuso of the University of Wisconsins Population Health Institute says the reason Hispanic life expectancy is worse in El Norte is likely linked to centuries of discrimination. “Unjust housing policies and forced land dispossessions, immigration enforcement, racial profiling, taxation laws and historical trauma, among numerous other issues, all act as barriers to equal health opportunities for these populations at the border, with known impacts across generations,” he noted. Other researchers have found the mortality advantage is greatest among Mexicans in communities where they are more insulated from less healthy U.S. dietary and lifestyle choices than those of Mexican descent who have been in the U.S. for decades or centuries.
Regional differences persist in other measures of health outcomes that contribute to mortality. With public health researchers at the University of Illinois-Chicago and the University of Minnesota, we looked at several of them and [published our conclusions](https://www.nationhoodlab.org/the-regional-geography-of-unhealthy-living-characteristics/) in [academic journals](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37419166/). Obesity, diabetes and physical inactivity all followed the same general regional pattern, with the bad outcomes concentrated in the Deep South, Greater Appalachia, New France and First Nation at the bottom of the list for all three (and El Norte for diabetes.)
“Its no big surprise when you look at county-level data that the southern regions have higher prevalence of these things, but never has the relationship been so clean as with the American Nations settlement maps,” says lead author Ross Arena, a physiologist at the University of Illinois-Chicago who studies the health effects of exercise.
“The gaps you see in life expectancy are just the tip of the iceberg because our health system is really good at keeping unhealthy people alive through medications and surgeries. The regional gap in peoples health span — how many years of your life are you living with a high quality of life with independence and functionality — is probably even greater because it lines up with smoking, access to healthy foods and these other factors.”
So how to improve the situation? Lloyd-Jones, the preventive medicine expert at Northwestern University, says its all about the policy environment people live in.
“If you just want to move the needle on longevity in the short term, aggressive tobacco control and taxation policies are about the quickest way you can do that,” he says. “But for the long term we really have to launch our children into healthier trajectories by giving them great educational and socioeconomic opportunities and access to clean air and water and healthy foods.”
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# Americas epidemic of chronic illness is killing us too soon
The United States is failing at a fundamental mission — keeping people alive.
After decades of progress, life expectancy — long regarded as a singular benchmark of a nations success — peaked in 2014 at 78.9 years, then drifted downward even before the coronavirus pandemic. Among wealthy nations, the United States in recent decades went from the middle of the pack to being an outlier. And it continues to fall further and further behind.
A year-long Washington Post examination reveals that this erosion in life spans is deeper and broader than widely recognized, afflicting a far-reaching swath of the United States.
While [opioids](https://www.washingtonpost.com/national/2019/07/20/opioid-files/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template) and [gun violence](https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/interactive/2022/gun-deaths-per-year-usa/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template) have rightly seized the publics attention, stealing hundreds of thousands of lives, chronic diseases are the greatest threat, killing far more people between 35 and 64 every year, The Posts analysis of mortality data found.
Heart disease and cancer remained, even at the height of the pandemic, the leading causes of death for people 35 to 64. And many other conditions — private tragedies that unfold in tens of millions of U.S. households — have become more common, including diabetes and [liver disease](https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/interactive/2023/nonalcoholic-fatty-liver-disease-kids/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template). These chronic ailments are the primary reason American life expectancy has been poor compared with [other nations](https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/interactive/2023/life-expectancy-calculator-compare-states-countries/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template).
### U.S. life expectancy is falling behind peer countries
*\[*[*Compare your life expectancy with others around the world*](https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/interactive/2023/life-expectancy-calculator-compare-states-countries/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template)*\]*
Sickness and death are scarring entire communities in much of the country. The geographical footprint of early death is vast: In a quarter of the nations counties, mostly in the South and Midwest, working-age people are dying at a higher rate than 40 years ago, The Post found. The trail of death is so prevalent that a person could go from Virginia to Louisiana, and then up to Kansas, by traveling entirely within counties where death rates are higher than they were when Jimmy Carter was president.
Choropleth map of death rates by county
This phenomenon is exacerbated by the countrys economic, [political](https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/interactive/2023/republican-politics-south-midwest-life-expectancy/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template) and racial divides. America is increasingly a country of haves and have-nots, measured not just by bank accounts and property values but also by vital signs and grave markers. Dying prematurely, The Post found, has become the most telling measure of the nations growing inequality.
The mortality crisis did not flare overnight. It has developed over decades, with early deaths an extreme manifestation of an underlying deterioration of health and a failure of the health system to respond. Covid highlighted this for all the world to see: It killed far more people per capita in the United States than in any other wealthy nation.
Chronic conditions thrive in a sink-or-swim culture, with the U.S. government spending far less than peer countries on preventive medicine and social welfare generally. Breakthroughs in technology, medicine and nutrition that should be boosting average life spans have instead been overwhelmed by poverty, racism, distrust of the medical system, fracturing of social networks and unhealthy diets built around highly processed food, researchers told The Post.
The calamity of chronic disease is a “not-so-silent pandemic,” said Marcella Nunez-Smith, a professor of medicine, public health and management at Yale University. “That is fundamentally a threat to our society.” But chronic diseases, she said, dont spark the sense of urgency among national leaders and the public that a novel virus did.
Americas medical system is unsurpassed when it comes to treating the most desperately sick people, said William Cooke, a doctor who tends to patients in the town of Austin, Ind. “But growing healthy people to begin with, were the worst in the world,” he said. “If we came in last in the next Olympics, imagine what we would do.”
The Post interviewed scores of clinicians, patients and researchers, and analyzed county-level death records from the past five decades. The data analysis concentrated on people 35 to 64 because these ages have the greatest number of excess deaths compared with peer nations.
What emerges is a dismaying picture of a complicated, often bewildering health system that is overmatched by the nations burden of disease:
- Chronic illnesses, which often sicken people in middle age after the protective vitality of youth has ebbed, erase more than twice as many years of life among people younger than 65 as all the overdoses, homicides, suicides and car accidents combined, The Post found.
- The best barometer of rising inequality in America is no longer income. It is life itself. Wealth inequality in America is growing, but The Post found that the death gap — the difference in life expectancy between affluent and impoverished communities — has been widening many times faster. In the early 1980s, people in the poorest communities were 9 percent more likely to die each year, but the gap grew to 49 percent in the past decade and widened to 61 percent when covid struck.
- Life spans in the richest communities in America have kept inching upward, but lag far behind comparable areas in Canada, France and Japan, and the gap is widening. The same divergence is seen at the bottom of the socioeconomic ladder: People living in the poorest areas of America have far lower life expectancy than people in the poorest areas of the countries reviewed.
- Forty years ago, small towns and rural regions were healthier for adults in the prime of life. The reverse is now true. Urban death rates have declined sharply, while rates outside the countrys largest metro areas flattened and then rose. Just before the pandemic, adults 35 to 64 in the most rural areas were 45 percent more likely to die each year than people in the largest urban centers.
\[[Have questions about our examination into U.S. life expectancy? Send our reporters your questions.](https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/2023/10/12/questions-answers-life-expectancy/?itid=lk_interstitial_enhanced-template)\]
“The big-ticket items are cardiovascular diseases and cancers,” said Arline T. Geronimus, a University of Michigan professor who studies population health equity. “But people always instead go to homicide, opioid addiction, HIV.”
![](https://img.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/VO6BF5IUV67BVOKYEZDU6TFGSY.jpg&high_res=true&w=2048)
### Loss upon loss
The life expectancy in Louisville, where this cemetery lies, is roughly two years shorter than the national average, and the gap has tripled since 1990.
Behind all the mortality statistics are the personal stories of loss, grief, hope. And anger. They are the stories of chronic illness in America and the devastating toll it exacts on millions of people — people like Bonnie Jean Holloway.
For years, Holloway rose at 3 a.m. to go to her waitress job at a small restaurant in Louisville that opened at 4 and catered to early-shift workers. Later, Holloway worked at a Bob Evans restaurant right off Interstate 65 in Clarksville, Ind. She often worked a double shift, deep into the evening. She was one of those waitresses who becomes a fixture, year after year.
Those years were not kind to Holloways health.
She never went to the doctor, not counting the six times she delivered a baby, according to her eldest daughter, Desirae Holloway. She was covered by Medicaid, but for many years, didnt have a primary care doctor.
She developed rheumatoid arthritis, a severe autoimmune disease. “Her hands were twisted,” recalled friend and fellow waitress Dolly Duvall, who has worked at Bob Evans for 41 years. “Some days, she had to call in sick because she couldnt get herself walking.”
![](https://img.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/CGCFBQPDBSOEDJRMUKXLKEMX4M_size-normalized.jpg&high_res=true&w=2048)
Two funeral programs on a mantel in Louisville attest to the toll of disease in one American family. Dalton Holloway, 30, died in January, after being diagnosed with lung cancer. His mother, Bonnie Jean Holloway, 61, died in May after years beset by chronic illnesses.
The turning point came a little more than a decade ago when Holloway dropped a tray full of water glasses. She went home and wept. She knew she was done.
Her 50s became a trial, beset with multiple ailments, consistent with what the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has found — that people with chronic diseases often have them in bunches. She was diagnosed with emphysema and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease — known as COPD — and could not go anywhere without her canister of oxygen.
Her family found the medical system difficult to trust. Medicines didnt work or had terrible side effects. Drugs prescribed for Holloways autoimmune disease seemed to make her vulnerable to infections. She would catch whatever bug her grandkids caught. She developed a fungal infection in her lungs.
Tobacco looms large in this sad story. One of the signal successes of public health in the past half-century has been the drop in smoking rates and associated declines in lung cancer. But roughly [1 in 7 middle-aged Americans still smokes](https://www.cdc.gov/tobacco/data_statistics/fact_sheets/adult_data/cig_smoking/index.htm?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template), according to the CDC. Kentucky has a deep cultural and economic connection to tobacco. The states smoking rates are the [second-highest](https://www.cdc.gov/statesystem/cigaretteuseadult.html?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template) in the nation, trailing only West Virginia. Holloway began smoking at 12, Desirae said. And for a long time, restaurants still had a smoking section right next to the nonsmoking section.
![](https://img.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/MTTGW7N4SXH23PWOIVZHKZZ2D4_size-normalized.jpg&high_res=true&w=2048)
Desirae Holloway, with her 2-year-old daughter Aliana Starks, attends a volleyball game of her 13-year-old daughter, Ahmya Starks in Louisville in September.
“Her mother was a smoker, her father was a smoker,” Desirae said. “I think I was the one in the family that broke that cycle. I remember what it was like to grow up in the house where the house was filled with smoke.”
In June 2022, Bonnie Jeans son Dalton, known to his family as “Wolfie” — a smoker, too — went to the emergency room with what he thought was a collapsed lung. After an X-ray, he was prescribed a muscle relaxer. The pain persisted. A second scan led to a diagnosis of lung cancer, Stage 4.
Dalton died in the hospital on Jan. 31. He was 30.
![](https://img.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/S2QMWE3CEABJVOZ4AZO6RXFEQQ_size-normalized.jpg&high_res=true&w=2048)
Desirae Holloway sits with her daughters Aliana and Ahmya at Gallrein Farms in Shelbyville, Ky., in September. Her mother and brother died within months of each other this year.
Bonnie Jean Holloway was in a wheelchair at her sons funeral. Her health deteriorated after that. When hospitalized for what turned out to be the final time, she was diagnosed with mucormycosis, a fungal infection that, according to Desirae, had eaten into her ribs. A scan showed a suspicious spot in her lungs, but she was too weak by then for a biopsy.
In her final weeks, Holloway would look into a corner of her hospital room and speak to someone who was not there. The family felt she was speaking to Wolfie.
One day, she told Desirae she couldnt hang on any longer. “Wolfie needs me,” she said.
Desirae felt her mother deserved better in life. “Mom, your life was just not fair,” Desirae told her.
She died in the hospital on Memorial Day. She was 61.
![](https://img.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/NOUEOIE6V4ZZYRZNYDSHMAIVWY_size-normalized.jpg&high_res=true&w=2048)
### A milestone missed
A concert enlivens the banks of the Ohio River on June 2 in Jeffersonville, Ind., in the shadow of Louisville.
In 1900, life expectancy at birth in the United States was 47 years. Infectious diseases routinely claimed babies in the cradle. Diseases were essentially incurable except through the wiles of the human immune system, of which doctors had minimal understanding.
Then came a century that saw life expectancy soar beyond the biblical standard of “threescore years and ten.” New tools against disease included antibiotics, insulin, vaccines and, eventually, CT scans and MRIs. Public health efforts improved sanitation and the water supply. Social Security and Medicare eased poverty and sickness in the elderly.
The rise of life expectancy became the ultimate proof of societal progress in 20th century America. Decade by decade, the number kept climbing, and by 2010, the country appeared to be marching inexorably toward the milestone of 80.
It never got there.
Multiple charts showing rates of different causes of death
Partly, that is a reflection of how the United States approaches health. This is a country where “we think health and medicine are the same thing,” said Elena Marks, former health and environmental policy director for the city of Houston. The nation built a “health industrial complex,” she said, that costs trillions of dollars yet underachieves.
“We have undying faith in big new technology and a drug for everything, access to as many MRIs as our hearts desire,” said Marks, a senior health policy fellow at Rice Universitys Baker Institute for Public Policy. “Eighty-plus percent of health outcomes are determined by nonmedical factors. And yet, were on this train, and were going to keep going.”
The opioid epidemic, a uniquely American catastrophe, is one factor in the widening gap between the United States and peer nations. Others include high rates of gun violence, suicides and car accidents.
But some chronic diseases — obesity, liver disease, hypertension, kidney disease and diabetes — were also on the rise among people 35 to 64, The Post found, and played an underappreciated role in the pre-pandemic erosion of life spans.
Then covid hit.
![](https://img.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/4BS5FYGGGGSKGEOE6DWOMLMIB4_size-normalized.jpg&high_res=true&w=2048)
From left, Mike Lottier, Derrick Jones and Langston Gaither gather at a cigar bar in Jeffersonville, Ind., in June.
In 2021, according to the CDC, life expectancy cratered, reaching 76.4, the lowest since the mid-1990s.
The pandemic amplified a racial gap in life expectancy that had been narrowing in recent decades. In 2021, life expectancy for Native Americans was 65 years; for Black Americans, 71; for White Americans, 76; for Hispanic Americans, 78; and for Asian Americans 84.
Death rates decreased in 2022 because of the pandemics easing, and when life expectancy data for 2022 is finalized this fall, it is expected to show a partial rebound, according to the CDC. But the country is still trying to dig out of a huge mortality hole.
For more than a decade, academic researchers have disgorged stacks of reports on eroding life expectancy. A seminal 2013 report from the National Research Council, “[Shorter Lives, Poorer Health](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24006554/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template),” lamented Americas decline among peer nations. “Its that feeling of the bus heading for the cliff and nobody seems to care,” said Steven H. Woolf, a Virginia Commonwealth University professor and co-editor of the 2013 report.
In 2015, Princeton University economists Anne Case and Angus Deaton garnered national headlines with a [study on rising death rates](https://www.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/a-group-of-middle-aged-american-whites-is-dying-at-a-startling-rate/2015/11/02/47a63098-8172-11e5-8ba6-cec48b74b2a7_story.html?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template) among White Americans in midlife, which they linked to the marginalization of people without a college degree and to “[deaths of despair](https://qz.com/583595/deaths-of-despair-are-killing-americas-white-working-class?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template).”
The grim statistics are there for all to see — and yet the political establishment has largely skirted the issue.
“We describe it. We lament it. Weve sort of accepted it,” said Derek M. Griffith, director of Georgetown Universitys Center for Mens Health Equity. “Nobody is outraged about us having shorter life expectancy.”
![](https://img.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/AKTYH7LBHTVFVWLV2PFNFV4XPQ_size-normalized.jpg&high_res=true&w=2048)
The Joslin Diabetes Center sits along a stretch of road in New Albany, Ind., dotted with fast-food restaurants.
It can be a confusing statistic. Life expectancy is a wide-angle snapshot of average death rates for people in different places or age groups. It is typically expressed as life expectancy at birth, but the number does not cling to a person from the cradle as if it were a prediction. And if a country has an average life expectancy at birth of 79 years, that doesnt mean a 78-year-old has only a year to live.
However confusing it may be, the life expectancy metric is a reasonably good measure of a nations overall health. And Americas is not very good.
![](https://img.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/VIT5WGNURMKPSWOBAMMYJPWW34_size-normalized.jpg&high_res=true&w=2048)
### Losing ground
The Jeffersonville waterfront offers a view of the Louisville skyline. The Louisville metropolitan area includes urban, suburban and rural communities that have health challenges typical in the heartland.
For this story, The Post concentrated its reporting on Louisville and counties across the river in southern Indiana.
The Louisville area does not, by any means, have the worst health outcomes in the country. But it possesses health challenges typical in the heartland, and offers an array of urban, suburban and rural communities, with cultural elements of the Midwest and the South.
Start with Louisville, hard by the Ohio River, a city that overachieves when it comes to Americana. Behold Churchill Downs, home of the Kentucky Derby. See the many public parks designed by the legendary Frederick Law Olmsted. Downtown is where you will find the Muhammad Ali Center, and the Louisville Slugger Museum & Factory, and a dizzying number of bars on what promoters have dubbed the Urban Bourbon Trail.
This summer, huge crowds gathered on the south bank of the Ohio for free concerts on Waterfront Wednesdays. Looming over the great lawn is a converted railroad bridge called the Big Four, which at any given moment is full of people walking, cycling or jogging.
But for all its vibrancy, Louisvilles life expectancy is roughly two years shorter than the national average, and the gap has tripled since 1990. Death rates from liver disease and chronic lower lung disease are up. The city has endured a high homicide rate comparable with Chicagos.
“We have a gun violence epidemic in Louisville that is a public health crisis,” Mayor Craig Greenberg (D) told The Post.
![](https://img.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/4C4B2CBWCGINNBMFKOGGT56EHU_size-normalized.jpg&high_res=true&w=2048)
Scott Chasteen, transportation services coordinator for Decatur County Memorial Hospital, transports patient Marilyn Loyd, 70, to her home in rural Greensburg, Ind., in July. Forty years ago, many small towns and rural regions were healthier for adults in the prime of life.
In 1990, the Louisville area, including rural counties in Southern Indiana, was typical of the nation as a whole, The Post found, with adults between 35 and 64 dying at about the same rate as comparable adults nationally. By 2019, adults in their prime were 30 percent more likely to die compared with peers nationally.
Rates of heart disease, lung ailments and liver failure all were worse in the region compared with national trends. The same is true of car accidents, overdoses, homicide and suicide.
And then theres the rampant disease thats impossible to miss: obesity.
![](https://img.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/BAGZHJJYP7HQCVYKSOOUJGBG44_size-normalized.jpg&high_res=true&w=2048)
### A shadow upon the land
James Dunbar, 28, left, and Josh Vincent, 29, eat at La Catrina Mexican Kitchen in New Albany, Ind., in June. Both men say there are health issues in their families.
Every day, the faces of this American health crisis come through the doors of Vasdev Lohanos exam rooms at the Joslin Diabetes Center in New Albany, Ind.
Born and raised in Pakistan, Lohano arrived in the United States in 1994, landing in New York after medical school, where he was astonished by what Americans ate. Processed food was abundant, calories cheap, the meals supersized. Most striking was ubiquitous soda pop.
When Lohano visited a fast-food outlet in Queens, he ordered a modest meal, a hamburger and a Coke. The employee handed him an empty cup. Lohano was confused. “Wheres my soda?” he asked. The employee pointed to the soft drink machine and told him to serve himself.
“How much can I have?” Lohano asked. “As much as you want,” he was told.
“Cancel my burger, Im just going to drink soda,” he announced.
![](https://img.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/2U2FJBJW6BRLIFR5JBVENF442E_size-normalized.jpg&high_res=true&w=2048)
Endocrinologist Vasdev Lohano examines Shannon McCallister, 50, at the Joslin Diabetes Center in June. McCallister weighed 255 pounds before gastric sleeve surgery three years ago. “I firmly believe it added at least 10 years to my life,” she said.
Lohano, an endocrinologist whose practice sits a short drive north from Louisville, says he has “seen two worlds in my lifetime.”
He means not just Pakistan and the United States, but the past and the present. When he was in medical school in Pakistan, he was taught that a typical adult man weighs 70 kilograms — about 154 pounds. Today, the average man in the United States weighs about 200 pounds. Women on average weigh about 171 pounds **—** roughly what men weighed in the 1960s.
In 1990, 11.6 percent of adults in America were obese. Now, that figure is [41.9](https://www.cdc.gov/obesity/data/adult.html?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template), according to the CDC.
The rate of obesity deaths for adults 35 to 64 doubled from 1979 to 2000, then doubled again from 2000 to 2019. In 2005, [a special report](https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/nejmsr043743?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template) in the New England Journal of Medicine warned that the rise of obesity would eventually halt and reverse historical trends in life expectancy. That warning generated little reaction.
Obesity is one reason progress against heart disease, after accelerating between 1980 and 2000, has slowed, experts say. Obesity is poised to overtake tobacco as the No. 1 preventable cause of cancer, according to Otis Brawley, an oncologist and epidemiologist at Johns Hopkins University.
Medical science could help turn things around. Diabetes patients are benefiting from new drugs, called GLP-1 agonists — sold under the brand names Ozempic and Wegovy — that provide improved blood-sugar control and can lead to a sharp reduction in weight. But insurance companies, slow to see obesity as a disease, often decline to pay for the drugs for people who do not have diabetes.
![](https://img.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/YIXFD7IDCMW5AOTFPSVPV75GQY_size-normalized.jpg&high_res=true&w=2048)
David ONeil, a patient at the Joslin center, lost a leg to diabetes three years ago.
Lohano has been treating David ONeil, 67, a retired firefighter who lost his left leg to diabetes. When he first visited Lohanos clinic last year, his blood sugar level was among the highest Lohano had ever seen — “astronomical,” the doctor said.
ONeil said diabetes runs in his family. Divorced, he lives alone with two cats.
He said he mostly eats frozen dinners purchased at Walmart.
“Its easier to fix,” he said.
Three years ago, he had the leg amputated.
“I got a walker, but when you got one leg, its a hopper,” he said. “Ive got to get control of this diabetes or I wont have the other leg.”
![](https://img.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/TT4H6RVXFXFK4NC5E2AWVFKA34_size-normalized.jpg&high_res=true&w=2048)
### No simple answer
Kaders Market is one of the few food stores in the West End of Louisville. Shopper Fonz Brown noted: “Down here, you have more liquor stores than places where you can actually buy something to eat.”
What happened to this country to enfeeble it so?
There is no singular explanation. Its not just the stress that is such a constant feature of daily life, weathering bodies at a microscopic level. Or the abundance of high-fructose corn syrup in that 44-ounce cup of soda.
Instead, experts studying the mortality crisis say any plan to restore American vigor will have to look not merely at the specific things that kill people, but at *the causes of the causes* of illness and death, including social factors. Poor life expectancy, in this view, is the predictable result of the society we have created and tolerated: one riddled with lethal elements, such as inadequate insurance, minimal preventive care, bad diets and a weak economic safety net.
“There is a great deal of harm in the way that we somehow stigmatize social determinants, like thats code for poor, people of color or something,” said Nunez-Smith, associate dean for health equity research at Yale. And while that risk is not shared evenly, she said, “everyone is at a risk of not having these basic needs met.”
Rachel L. Levine, assistant secretary for health in the Department of Health and Human Services, said in an interview that an administration priority is reducing health disparities highlighted by the pandemic: “Its foundational to everything we are doing. It is not like we do health equity on Friday afternoon.”
Levine, a pediatrician, pointed to the opioid crisis and lack of universal health coverage as reasons the United States lags peer nations in life expectancy. She emphasized efforts by the Biden administration to improve health trends, including a major campaign to combat cancer and [a long-term, multiagency plan](https://health.gov/sites/default/files/2022-04/Federal%20Plan%20for%20ELTRR_Executive%20Summary_FINAL-ColorCorrected_3.pdf?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template) to bolster health and resilience.
Public health experts point to major inflection points the past four decades — the 1990s welfare overhaul, the Great Recession, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, changes in the economy and family relationships — that have clouded peoples health.
It is no surprise, Georgetowns Griffith said, that middle-aged people bear a particular burden. They are “the one group that theres nobody really paying attention to,” he said. “You have a lot of attention to older adults. You have a lot of attention to adolescents, young adults. Theres not an explicit focus or research area on middle age.”
An accounting of the nations health problems can start with the health system. The medical workforce is aging and stretched thin. The country desperately needs [thousands more primary care doctors](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6450307/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template#:~:text=Owing%20to%20disproportionate%20losses%20of,%25%20CI%2C%200.0%2D108.6%20per). The incentives for private companies are stacked on the treatment side rather than the prevention side. Policy proposals to change things often run into a buzz saw of special interests.
![](https://img.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/PO2EXEVRGA2YI3YD2ZOMUH6PMA.jpg&high_res=true&w=2048)
Anthony Yelder Sr. runs Off the Corner BBQ in Louisville. Yelder, 43, says he has had three heart attacks, starting when he was 36. He blames working too much, a poor diet, smoking and family conflicts.
Michael Imburgia, a Louisville cardiologist, spent most of his career in private medical facilities that expected doctors to see as many patients as possible. He now volunteers at a clinic he founded, Have a Heart, a nonprofit that serves uninsured and underinsured people and where Imburgia can spend more time with patients and understand their circumstances.
Health care is “the only business that doesnt reward for quality care. All we reward for is volume. Do more, and youre going to get more money,” Imburgia said.
Elizabeth H. Bradley, president of Vassar College and co-author of “[The American Health Care Paradox](https://amzn.to/48whgob?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template),” said if the nations life-expectancy crisis could be solved by the discovery of drugs, it would be a hot topic. But its not, she said, because “you would have to look at everything — the tax code, the education system — its too controversial. Most politicians dont want to open Pandoras box.”
![](https://img.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/O2YGXIJXBBP2VTYJYO7GXDWWAA_size-normalized.jpg&high_res=true&w=2048)
### I want to enjoy my pension
James “Big Ken” Manuel contends with chronic illnesses at his home in Louisville.
James “Big Ken” Manuel, 67, spent four decades as a union electrician, a proud member of the International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers. He has a booming voice, a ready laugh, a big personality.
His life story illustrates a health system built on fragmented and often inadequate insurance, and geared toward treatment rather than prevention. And to the perils of dangerous diets and the consequences of obesity.
He was born and raised in Lake Charles, La., when Black families like his in the Deep South had to navigate the racism of the Jim Crow era. But Manuel talks of his blessings. Two loving parents who worked hard. Friends who stayed close for life. A deeply satisfying career.
These days, retired, he has a modest aspiration: “I want to enjoy my pension.”
For now, it is a challenge to simply get across the room and answer his front door in Louisvilles West End. He needs a walker to get around. Even then, hes huffing and puffing.
One day in late May, Manuel was at the Have a Heart clinic in downtown. That morning, he weighed 399 pounds.
![](https://img.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/2YECMFQT3FRH3ECXHQ6GJYT26Q_size-normalized.jpg&high_res=true&w=2048)
Manuel receives medical care at the Have a Heart clinic in Louisville. He says paying for his many medications consumes his pension.
He is dealing with, by his account, diabetes, gout, hypertension, congestive heart failure and COPD. And he has been obese since he entered elementary school, “twice the size of regular kids.”
“Might not have had a lot of money in the bank, but we had food on the table,” he recalled. “We had all kind of Cajun dishes. Gumbos. Everything with rice. Rice and gravy. Steak and rice. Potato salad. Macaroni and cheese, baked beans. Traditional red beans, black-eyed peas. All that traditional cholesterol, heart-jumping dishes.”
He remembered a visit to a doctor about 20 years ago, when his weight was on a trajectory to 500: “Mr. Manuel, Ive never had a patient as big as you and as healthy as you. But its going to catch up with you.”
And it did.
His insurance was spotty over the years. He wanted bariatric surgery — a proven but costly treatment for morbid obesity — but he said his Louisiana-based union insurance wouldnt cover it.
And when he was out of work, he let his insurance lapse rather than pay the expensive fees for continued coverage. Like so many Americans, he paid for medical care out of his pocket.
After he stopped working about seven years ago, he briefly qualified for Medicaid. But then he began collecting Social Security at 62, and his income exceeded the Medicaid eligibility limit.
Next, he moved to an Affordable Care Act plan. Bouncing from plan to plan, he negotiated the complexities of being in-network or out-of-network. He eventually found the Have a Heart clinic and continued to go there even after he turned 65 and enrolled in Medicare.
![](https://img.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/5Z2H3MKC4TG4MVWUHF7OYHUXFA_size-normalized.jpg&high_res=true&w=2048)
As he seeks better health, Manuel has a modest wish: “I want to be able to enjoy my pension.”
Manuel drove to the clinic one morning with a bag containing all his medicines. Hydralazine. Torsemide. Atorvastatin. Metformin. Carbetol. Benzonatate. Prednisone. Fistfuls of medicine for a swarm of cardiometabolic diseases.
“Its a lot of medicine. And its expensive. Eating up my pension,” Manuel said.
He was desperate to get stronger, because he was engaged to be married in a few months.
“I got to be able to walk down the aisle,” he said.
Mary Masden, 60, dated Manuel for years before deciding to get married.
She remembers when Manuel had more mobility. He could still dance. She is praying he will be able to dance again someday.
“I want him here for another 20, 30 years,” she said. “I dont want to worry about him not waking up because he cant breathe.”
On Sept. 2, Manuel and Masden were joined in marriage, and he did walk her down the aisle. He thought better of trying to jump, ceremonially, over the broom. He and his bride honeymooned at a resort in French Lick, Ind. The wedding, they agreed, was beautiful.
![](https://img.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/VFX56ZIL3L457TJ4UAN3RWB5MA_size-normalized.jpg&high_res=true&w=2048)
### Im going to put you in a bubble
Janette Kern wears a pendant with a photograph of her son Donnie DeJarnette, who died two years ago at age 25.
The geography of life and death in America has changed in recent generations, with decaying life expectancy in much of rural America. Janette Kern, 49, grew up in one of those patches of rural America, in the hamlet of Little Bend, in Meade County, Ky., west of Louisville. “The boonies,” she said.
Today, Kern lives and works at an extended-stay hotel in Clarksville, Ind. Her health is pretty good when she takes her medicine. She has several chronic conditions: hypertension, a thyroid disorder, high cholesterol, and anxiety and depression.
In Kerns family, long lives are not common. Both her parents died at 64. Her father, a truck driver, had diabetes, suffered mini-strokes and died after failing to wake up following a surgical procedure. Her mother died when a blood clot came loose, she said. An uncle died at 64, too, and an aunt at 65.
“My family is in their 60s when theyre passing. Its because of heart disease, diabetes, cancer,” she said.
She hopes to break with that family tradition.
“I would hope that I would at least make it to 75,” she said.
Recently, she had a rude surprise: Trouble filling a prescription. She fears she has been booted off her medical insurance.
Millions of people are being purged from Medicaid rolls. Early in the pandemic, states temporarily stopped the usual yearly renewals to determine eligibility for the program, a joint responsibility with the federal government. This spring, [states were allowed to begin](https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/2023/03/29/medicaid-pandemic-benefits-ending/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template) eligibility renewals again, and Kern hadnt jumped through the bureaucratic hoops. “Ive not gotten any paperwork,” she said.
At the hotel, she is the friendly face at the front desk or smoking a Marlboro Light outside. Guests checking in may notice a pendant around Kerns neck featuring a photograph of a young man.
It says, “I never walk alone. Donnie walks with me.”
Donnie DeJarnette was her firstborn. He was a technician at a car dealership, and had become a father in November 2020. He had long suffered from headaches, his mother said. He had medical insurance but couldnt afford the co-pays and didnt see doctors. On Jan. 3, 2021, he was in Meade County when, while talking on the phone with a friend, he collapsed. He died at a hospital hours later from what Kern said was a brain aneurysm. He was 25.
The loss devastated her. She still went to work, then would go home and just lie in bed.
“Part of me died. Until you lose a child, youll never know,” she said.
She lost a newborn, Billy, in 1999, to an infection two days after delivery.
She still has her youngest son, Matthew, who is 23.
“I tell him, Im going to put you in a bubble, so nothing can happen to you,’” she said. “Ive been pregnant five times, Ive had two miscarriages, I delivered three, and now Im down to one.”
![](https://img.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/WRFKYK4OW2OWTAQKKYYQJ3WXRU_size-normalized.jpg&high_res=true&w=2048)
### Death in the heartland
Cardiologist Kelly McCants sees patient Tim McIntosh, 57, in Louisville. McIntosh says his parents both had heart issues and his father died at 39. “Im surprised I made it as long as I have,” he says.
Across the heartland, countless communities are barely hanging on. This has long been a story described in economic terms — hollowed-out factories, bankruptcies, boarded-up downtown storefronts. But the economic challenges of these places go hand-in-hand with physical pain, suffering and the struggle to stay alive.
When economies go bad, health erodes, and people die early.
“The people in our country who are dying are the poor and the marginalized communities,” said Imburgia, the cardiologist. “Its a money thing.”
The geographical divide in health can be seen within Louisville and reflects Americas history of racial discrimination and segregation.
“Cardiovascular disease, cancers, asthma, diabetes, its all higher two- to threefold west of Ninth Street,” said Kelly McCants, a cardiologist and head of Norton Healthcares Institute for Health Equity in Louisville. He was referring to the unofficial boundary between the West End, whose residents are mostly African American, and the rest of the city.
A [recent study](https://louisvilleky.gov/center-health-equity/document/2017herpreview-1?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template) estimated that residents in some areas of the wealthier East End of town live on average 12 years longer than residents in parts of the West End. The pandemic, in tandem with the 2020 killing of Breonna Taylor in a no-knock police raid, compelled community leaders to confront disparities in life expectancy, said Greenberg, the citys mayor.
“Where you live, where youre born, unfortunately and tragically has a huge impact on your life expectancy today. We absolutely need to change that,” Greenberg said.
One of McCantss recent patients was a young woman with a damaged heart — “advanced cardiomyopathy” — who had a heart pump successfully implanted. But McCants is worried about the patients living conditions.
“Im limited,” he said, shaking his head. “I can be the best doctor ever. Her surgery went well. We got her through all of that. But now she could be readmitted to the hospital because of the housing situation.”
Crystal Narcisse, a colleague of McCantss at Norton, is an internal medicine physician and pediatrician who focuses on the root causes of patients ailments. Its not enough to focus on the hypertension. What is this patients life like*?*
“Theres a reason someones blood pressure isnt under control, or someones diabetes isnt under control,” Narcisse said. “It could be because of depression, or anxiety or \[post-traumatic stress disorder\] or abuse.”
![](https://img.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/TF4JL2RTSFA6CT2NKIQU2N7F2Y_size-normalized.jpg&high_res=true&w=2048)
Regina Riley-Smith, center in back, gathers with family in Louisville in June. At 48, she struggles with multiple chronic conditions.
One of her longtime patients is Regina Riley-Smith, a 48-year-old working at a General Electric factory, putting hinges on refrigerators. She rises weekdays at 3:45 a.m. to be on the line at GE, clocked in, at 5:35 a.m.
She has transformed herself since a troubled adolescence in Lexington, Ky., where she had a baby at 15 and dropped out of school after 10th grade. The baby went to live with a grandmother while Riley-Smith ran with a wild crowd and became addicted to crack cocaine. Her mother died in 1996, at 64, and her father in 2001, at 65. A few months later, she moved to Louisville, at age 26, and was “re-raised,” as she put it, by an aunt.
She got off drugs, and life has blessed her since. She and her husband have six children and 13 grandchildren, and live in a cozy home in the West End.
She has struggled with multiple chronic ailments: type 2 diabetes, hypertension, asthma and rheumatoid arthritis. She could file for disability but, for now, works extra shifts, hoping to pay off debts.
“She stays on my diet,” Riley-Smith said of her doctor. “Ive backed off the drinks, the sodas. The main thing shes working on is stopping smoking.”
Riley-Smith is down to half a pack a day of Newport Menthol Golds.
Narcisse, listening to her patient, smiled and said, “I want you to live long. A lot of people are counting on you.”
Riley-Smith wants the same thing but worries about her long-term prospects.
“I feel like Im short-lived,” she said. “Thats why I live life to the extreme every day. I try not to be angry with nobody. Because I dont know if Im going to wake up the next morning.”
![](https://img.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/W3Z2JRFZAUDHDX7IWCL75QBTXY_size-normalized.jpg&high_res=true&w=2048)
### One last firefight
Bruce DeArk spent decades as a firefighter in Jeffersonville, Ind. His death from colon cancer was ruled to be in the line of duty.
A health disaster, like misfortune generally, can strike randomly. Although risky behavior — smoking, eating too much, never exercising — can be a major factor in poor health, sickness can arise without any obvious cause, such as some unseen element in the environment.
Then theres the case of Bruce DeArk of Jeffersonville, Ind., who put his health at risk simply by going to work.
DeArk was the deputy fire chief of Jeffersonville. One day in early 2018, he began feeling nauseated. He thought: the flu? When he began experiencing excruciating pain in his lower abdomen, he suspected appendicitis. He got a scan.
The diagnosis: Stage 4 colon cancer.
“I got in my vehicle to go to hospital and I couldnt move, I just sat there thinking there is no way!” he later wrote, preparing to advocate for earlier colon cancer screening. “I was 49 yrs old at the time and thought of this disease as an older person disease.”
![](https://img.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/4XTHUIEBH5TZZDY2BFG2VKBTN4_size-normalized.jpg&high_res=true&w=2048)
The walls in Janet DeArk's house in Jeffersonville, Ind., are covered with photographs of her late husband, Bruce.
Since 1991, the U.S. cancer death rate has fallen 33 percent, reflecting sharp declines in smoking and new treatments, according to the American Cancer Society. But cancer is mysteriously increasing among people younger than 50, with the highest increase in breast, thyroid and colorectal cancer.
DeArk had excellent insurance and a huge support network. But early last year, after a four-year battle, and escorted by a fleet of police and fire vehicles, DeArk made his final trip home from the hospital and died four days later. He was 53.
He had fought a lot of fires over the decades, enveloped in hazardous smoke. The International Agency for Research on Cancer has declared the occupation of firefighting “carcinogenic to humans,” its highest-risk category. Following an extensive investigation, state officials ruled DeArks death was in the line of duty.
“The world has gotten toxic, with building materials, and then you light a match to them,” said his widow, Janet DeArk. “And our food supply has gotten toxic. We just have a very toxic environment.”
She and Bruce married just four months before his cancer diagnosis. Now at 53, living with four large dogs in a house where the walls are covered with photographs of her late husband, Janet has to figure out the rest of her life.
“For the first year after he died, I wanted to die. I did not take care of myself at all,” she said.
She still struggles to get out of bed in the morning, she said, but has no choice — she has four large dogs wanting breakfast.
![](https://img.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/3L7SHWXUWPVUEIDBFIQLY7JHEQ_size-normalized.jpg&high_res=true&w=2048)
Janet DeArk, left, and her stepdaughter, Kayla DeArk, prepare for a spin class in June in Louisville. Janet has been exercising more this year as she deals with her grief.
She is trying to heal herself. She vowed to lose some of the weight she had gained during the four traumatic years of watching her husband suffer. She started cycling at 6 a.m. along the Ohio River, and doing spin classes at night.
She told herself: “Start eating better. Start exercising. Get back to who you know you are. But that first year, my entire future was gone. Because Bruce was my future.”
##### About this story
The Washington Post spent the past year examining the nations crisis of premature death by analyzing county-level death records from the past five decades, along with U.S. and international life expectancy data, demographic and voting pattern figures, and excess death projections for the United States and other countries. Learn more about how we did our analysis [here](https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/2023/10/03/life-expectancy-investigation-analysis-methodology/?itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template).
##### Credits
Reporting by Joel Achenbach, Dan Keating, Laurie McGinley and Akilah Johnson. Photos by Jahi Chikwendiu. Graphics by Daniel Wolfe. Illustration by Charlotte Gomez.
Design and development by Stephanie Hays, Agnes Lee and Carson TerBush. Design editing by Christian Font. Photo editing by Sandra M. Stevenson. Graphics editing by Emily Eng.
Editing by Stephen Smith, Meghan Hoyer and Wendy Galietta. Additional editing by Melissa Ngo and Phil Lueck.
Additional support by Matt Clough, Kyley Schultz, Brandon Carter, Jordan Melendrez and Claudia Hernández.
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# Among the Anti-Monarchists
## As King Charles III prepares for his coronation, theres never been a better time to want to abolish the crown.
![](https://pyxis.nymag.com/v1/imgs/d96/586/e4972ae6f76e59945a519841f5a5a18e60-kiing-charles-republic.rvertical.w570.jpg)
Photo-Illustration: Intelligencer; Photo: ARTHUR EDWARDS/POOL/AFP via Getty Images
Republic, the group that wants to abolish the British monarchy, meets in a modern church in an ugly suburb of London, as if to make a point. Two weeks before the coronation of [Charles III](https://nymag.com/intelligencer/article/coronation-king-charles-controversy-guide.html), 70 people gather to listen to Graham Smith, the CEO of Republic, and the progressive journalist Yasmin Alibhai-Brown. They seem surprised to find news cameras there. Monarchy is sold by the British press as a blend of sacred ritual and cheap soap opera. As an institution, the crown is rarely criticized publicly. When it is, people are curious, like children who have never seen snow.
There are signs, though, that all this is starting to change. At the proclamation of King Charles in Edinburgh last September, a woman held up a sign that read, “Fuck Imperialism, Abolish Monarchy” and was promptly arrested. In Oxford, Symon Hill, a history tutor, shouted, “Who elected him?” and was charged with disorderly behavior. This is not the sort of thing a robust democracy does. *The* *Guardian* [reports](https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2023/may/02/anti-monarchists-receive-intimidatory-home-office-letter-on-new-protest-laws-coronation) that the Home Office has sent letters to Republic warning the group that new rules have taken effect ahead of Charless coronation day on May 6 to prevent “disruption.” Protesters could face prison sentences of up to a year for blocking roads and up to six months for locking arms, and are subject to search if suspected of sowing “chaos.” Smith said the letter was “very odd.”
Republicans have long been a beleaguered minority — intellectuals, dissenters, punks, people who do not vote for the ruling Conservative Party. They can do little when monarchy is popular, and a popular monarch does two things: They plausibly mirror the country and pretend they do not want the job. [Elizabeth II](https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2022/09/jokes-queen-elizabeth-death.html) was all but silent — we did not know who she was — which made her a screen onto which certain ideals (stoicism, modesty, decency) could be projected. She also appeared reluctant, so we were grateful and felt sorry for her. Her approval rating upon her death was 80 percent. Charles III is not reluctant. He has fashioned two new crowns and bought two new thrones, and he will crown Camilla, the woman his first wife, Diana, hated, as queen. He mirrors only himself, since few people run [Aston Martins on wine and cheese by-products](https://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/king-charles-aston-martin-runs-wine-cheese-homage-james-bond) and wear handmade shoes. Also, he talks a lot. The polls are duly moving away from him. Less than half of British subjects are positive about him, and 42 percent are negative. In the 16-to-24-year-old cohort, it is an abysmal 13 percent positive to 58 percent negative.
It would appear that this is the anti-monarchists moment. And there is a precedent. In 1649, we removed Charles Is head. “I go from a corruptible to an incorruptible crown,” he said, which is certainly a positive spin on entering the afterlife. It was the only English regicide not suspected to be ordered by other members of the royal family, leaving Oliver Cromwell to rule for a time until monarchy was restored in 1660. However, Republic does not endorse regicide: It wants a transition to a parliamentary democracy with an elected head of state and a written constitution. On coronation day, it will hold a demonstration in London, where its members will wear yellow.
But it isnt clear how persuasive Republics arguments will be. Monarchy predates democracy by millennia, and the British love to feel exceptional — only Japan has an older crown.
At the conference, Smith is implacable in his opposition. Everything people find charming about the royals he dislikes. Every argument in their favor “is either wrong in principle, or in fact, or in both.” His argument — that the monarchy is “unaccountable and secretive,” that it “undermines our values and standards” — may seem straightforward and obvious, at least to democratic citizens who do not live under kings and queens. The royals have less accountability than the CIA. They abuse public money: “They routinely take what is ours and treat it as their own,” he says, a sentiment as old as the French Revolution.
For Alibhai-Brown, an immigrant from Uganda, monarchy is “centuries of manipulation of the peoples of this country” by a “totally dysfunctional and quite horrible family.” She met Elizabeth II three times: “I refused to curtsy.” She met Prince Philip too: “He ignored me and said to my husband, Is she yours?’” She remembers a dinner with Charles, at which the playwright Harold Pinter fantasized about decapitating him. They sat near a painting of Charles I. When she reminded Pinters widow, the aristocratic novelist Antonia Fraser, of this, “she denied this dinner had ever happened.” Monarchy invites amnesia.
Republic wants people to remember. Alibhai-Brown reminds the attendants of royal cruelty. Elizabeth IIs sister Margaret was forbidden to marry the man she loved, she says, because he was divorced. Nerissa and Katherine, nieces of the late Queen Mother, were institutionalized due to learning disabilities, were abandoned by their family, and even reported dead in Burkes Peerage. Broken royal bodies, as the novelist Hilary Mantel called them, are strewn everywhere, especially if female: Margaret; Diana; Meghan. The press colludes in this battery.
The Republicans may have an ideal foil in Charles, but in the future they will have to contend with his heirs. More people wanted [Prince William](https://www.thecut.com/2023/01/how-the-royal-family-feels-about-prince-harry-memoir.html#_ga=2.228075487.396439942.1683215862-1598914525.1642106144) to succeed Elizabeth II (37 percent) than Charles (34 percent), and William is plausibly reluctant — he was once described as a man looking like he punched every car door he got out of. He was also raised by police-protection officers and school masters, so he can seem normal. But he has his royal blind spots; chiding [BAFTA](https://www.theguardian.com/film/2020/feb/03/baftas-2020-prince-william-diversity) for its lack of diversity was both absurd and very funny, since the monarchy is conservative, rich, and very white. Increasingly, Britain isnt, and still we chased [Meghan](https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2023/03/palace-harry-meghan-princess-christen.html), our biracial princess, away in a self-hating bonfire of the vanities. “I think its a bad example for our children,” says one attendee at the Republic conference. “As a mother, I cant imagine lifting up one child above the others,” an allusion to Prince [Harry](https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2023/01/king-charles-is-ready-to-trash-harry-or-declare-a-truce.html) and his whistleblowing memoir, [*Spare*](https://nymag.com/intelligencer/article/prince-harry-spare-quiz.html). When William visited the Caribbean in 2022, he practiced empire-core, wearing white, holding hands with Black children through a wire fence, sometimes progressing in an open-top Land Rover.
But its not enough to complain; something must be done. In the Q&A session, the Republicans debate strategy. A man fears that Britain is immune to republicanism: “We are more conformist now than we were in the 1930s. Its like North Korea, the Great Leader.” Some counsel waiting until the crown collapses under its contradictions. Surely there will be a sex tape eventually? Smith says that when Republican arguments are made, people are receptive, like Dorothy waking to the poppy field in Oz: “It needs to be done by us.”
The following week, the *New Statesman*, a left-wing magazine, hosts a debate in Cambridge, a golden university city with swans idling on the river. The proposition is: Its time to abolish the monarchy. We count the votes before the debate; 176 would abolish the monarchy, 122 would keep it. Anna Whitelock, professor of history of monarchy at City, University of London, gets the debate going with a litany of grievances: “Criticism or debate of the royal family is prohibited in Parliament,” she notes. The royal family is exempt from the 2010 Equality Act — a fact that is both awful and apt. Charles III pays no inheritance tax and no corporation tax. The monarchy is, she says, “an institution that resists scrutiny at the apex of society which, by its very survival, reinforces hierarchy.”
Robert Hardman, a royal correspondent, represents the pro-monarchy side. He is jocular and easy; he knows the royal family and he mirrors them. His argument is: The alternative is worse. Elizabeth II, he says, “was a bucket-list head of state” protecting us “from overmighty despots. No one can get their hands on the armed forces, the honors system, the judiciary, the civil service.” When the French head of state lays a wreath, he says, “half of the people hate the person laying the wreath, and bonus points for anyone who can name more than two Italian presidents.” He concedes that the monarchy is irrational but “so is the boat race, wedding dresses, turkey at Christmas, and hot cross buns.”
He is followed by Gary Younge, a progressive journalist. “For all the talk of modernity and meritocracy,” he says, “the message from the top remains: No matter how hard you graft, sacrifice, innovate, and invest, you will never make it to those snowy white peaks which are reserved for those who were born there. It enshrines the hereditary principle in a system which increasingly enriches the privileged and privileges the rich.” Nor does it make them happy. He reminds the crowd that the Crown Prince of Nepal murdered most of his family in 2001, shot himself, inherited the crown (though in a coma — what a metaphor!), and monarchy was abolished. Younge says he would rather have a referendum than a massacre, summarizing the monarchist argument as “Save us from ourselves!”
The final vote is 202 to 77 for abolition, and the mood in the room is jubilant. But Cambridge is a city of intellectuals and the birthplace of Oliver Cromwell, as Hardman points out, acting very much like someone who has lost a battle but feels pretty confident about winning the war. Despite Republican excitement, the monarchy is sensitive to public opinion and has been unpopular before. If the crown hears Republican complaints and becomes more accountable and transparent to answer them, then that may be enough to avoid a serious reckoning. World War I felled most of the senior crowns of Europe, but not this one. It seems unlikely that any one monarch, even Charles III, can do otherwise.
Among the Anti-Monarchists
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# An Icelandic Town Goes All Out to Save Baby Puffins
Photographs by [Chris Linder](https://www.smithsonianmag.com/author/chris-linder/)
Two small, round eyes glint like shiny black sequins in the flashlight beam sweeping under the truck bed. Its a cold, rainy September night, and the dark figure huddled in the shallow space below is barely visible—but for its striking white chest. A young girl in a bright orange jacket crouches on the wet ground nearby, trying to coax the creature out.
Its well past the hour youd expect kids their age to be in bed. But 9-year-old Sigrún Anna Valsdóttir, peering under the truck bed, and 12-year-old Rakel Rut Rúnarsdóttir, shining the light, dont seem to notice the time or the cold. Theyre on a mission to rescue a puffling.
[![Cover image of the Smithsonian Magazine March 2023 issue](https://th-thumbnailer.cdn-si-edu.com/wMsYxxEyrAolr9iUJRWS7X-PtTo=/fit-in/300x0/https://tf-cmsv2-smithsonianmag-media.s3.amazonaws.com/filer_public/a0/df/a0df34a8-1033-4b09-9a95-9d846d221c2a/mar23_cover_layout_p_2034527123_view.jpg)](https://subscribe.smithsonianmag.com/?idx=476&inetz=article-banner-ad)
![Rakel Rut Rúnarsdóttir proudly holds a puffling she has just rescued.](https://th-thumbnailer.cdn-si-edu.com/_Ndkn7Y--so7dDz0x_XlyT4bSBY=/fit-in/1072x0/filters:focal(1858x1247:1859x1248)/https://tf-cmsv2-smithsonianmag-media.s3.amazonaws.com/filer_public/17/53/17536dc3-1b82-460d-b9fd-fd7f214a117a/mar2023_e16_puffins.jpg)
Rakel Rut Rúnarsdóttir proudly holds a puffling she has just rescued. The baby birds are often drawn to the most brightly illuminated areas, like this street in the town center. Chris Linder
Thats the name for a baby Atlantic puffin. This one made a wrong turn and got stranded on its maiden flight. Now they need to collect it and send it safely out to sea. Theres an unwritten rule around here, Im told. You cant quit until the puffling is safe.
Were in Vestmannaeyjabaer, a town of some 4,400 people perched on a roughly five-square-mile island off the southern coast of Iceland. The island, Heimaey, is the largest and the only inhabited one in the Westman archipelago—a cluster of volcanic isles, stacks and skerries thats home to the largest colony of Atlantic puffins on earth.
These chunky black-and-white seabirds with endearing sad clown faces are known and loved worldwide. But nobody loves puffins more than the people of Heimaey. Youre never far from a puffin in this fishing hamlet surrounded by soaring cliffs. When you roll off the ferry from the mainland, one of the first things you see is a stone puffin as tall as a man. Cartoonish puffin schnozzes jut from signposts pointing you around town. You can rest on a puffin park bench or watch kids ride puffin bouncy toys on the playground. Puffin whirligigs spin in the ever-present wind.
![The Vigtartorg playground near the waterfront. Heimaey, which means “Home Island” in Icelandic, abounds with the charismatic seabirds, real and whimsical.](https://th-thumbnailer.cdn-si-edu.com/ta3cntzoCIP5NUiMh5Xzm7OonJg=/fit-in/1072x0/filters:focal(655x986:656x987)/https://tf-cmsv2-smithsonianmag-media.s3.amazonaws.com/filer_public/41/62/416278c3-a1f7-40ca-8d7d-c30ed3c43e1d/mar2023_e10_puffins.jpg)
The Vigtartorg playground near the waterfront. Heimaey, which means “Home Island” in Icelandic, abounds with the charismatic seabirds, real and whimsical. Chris Linder
![Anton Ingi Eiriksson holds a puffling that he captured the night before.](https://th-thumbnailer.cdn-si-edu.com/DTJkzRmPAyPsCvrNihTEIFMiAzI=/fit-in/1072x0/filters:focal(656x983:657x984)/https://tf-cmsv2-smithsonianmag-media.s3.amazonaws.com/filer_public/51/7d/517d5566-37cd-422f-985d-53611e4b63e0/mar2023_e12_puffins.jpg)
Anton Ingi Eiriksson holds a puffling that he captured the night before. Chris Linder
The flesh-and-feather versions spend most of their lives far offshore in the cold waters of the North Atlantic Ocean. But for a few months every year, they come on land to breed. As they strut around their clifftop colonies in tuxedo plumage and with upright stances, puffins look like proud little men. The species scientific name, *Fratercula arctica*, means “little brother of the North.” Puffins are *lundi* in Icelandic, and on Heimaey a puffin chick has a special pet name: *pysja*.
In March, as the days lengthen, folks here begin looking forward to the birds return. Over the next several weeks, well over a million puffins will arrive in the Westman Islands megacolony. Life partners, separated during their time at sea, will reunite and lay their single egg in an underground burrow dug out of the grassy cliffs. The July sea and sky will churn with birds ferrying food to their hungry chicks.
The pufflings emerge at night from their underground digs in late August and September. Most adults have already departed for winter on the open ocean, likely heading for a seabird hot spot southeast of Greenland, along with jaunts from the Arctic to the Mediterranean. Now, its time for the chicks to follow the moon lighting their path to the water. For the next few years, the chicks will roam the North Atlantic on their own, possibly crossing the ocean before returning to their birth colony to breed.
![maps](https://th-thumbnailer.cdn-si-edu.com/jxtg_KZqXDijO6v4pkAXzkQ3wWk=/fit-in/1072x0/filters:focal(700x330:701x331)/https://tf-cmsv2-smithsonianmag-media.s3.amazonaws.com/filer_public/2a/f6/2af6387e-a3be-4ce4-a0ac-97d5e23afaeb/map_diptych.jpg)
On Heimaey, one of the best places to spot puffins is Storhofdi in the south. The island is also home to volcanoes: The 1973 eruption of Eldfell ruined homes and covered the island in ash. Guilbert Gates
![The lights of Vestmannaeyjabaer, the only town in the Westman Islands. The fishing hamlet is a 40-minute ferry ride from Icelands mainland.](https://th-thumbnailer.cdn-si-edu.com/oEpnMoLevUZ8vvyIQNFLhuJR1QA=/fit-in/1072x0/filters:focal(1651x1109:1652x1110)/https://tf-cmsv2-smithsonianmag-media.s3.amazonaws.com/filer_public/e6/43/e643edc5-3366-49a0-a63a-e006f7769731/mar2023_e11_puffins.jpg)
The lights of Vestmannaeyjabaer, the only town in the Westman Islands. The fishing hamlet is a 40-minute ferry ride from Icelands mainland. Chris Linder
But on their first flight after leaving the burrow, some young birds get confused by the lights of the town and head inland instead of out to sea. Puffins are amazing swimmers, able to dive up to 200 feet deep, thanks to bones that are dense—unlike the light, airy bones of most birds. But that makes it harder for them to take flight. At sea, the water provides a runway; in the colonies, they can launch from cliffs and catch a breeze. When pufflings land on the streets, however, their new wings are too weak to get them aloft from the flat ground, leaving them vulnerable to cars, predators and starvation.
Thats where Sigrún Anna and Rakel come in. Theyre part of the Puffling Patrol, a Heimaey volunteer brigade tasked with shepherding little puffins on their journey. Every year during the roughly monthlong fledging season, kids here get to stay up very late. On their own or with parents, on foot or by car, they roam the town peeking under parked vehicles, behind stacks of bins at the fish-processing plants, inside equipment jumbled at the harbor. The stranded young birds tend to take cover in tight spots. Flushing them out and catching them is the perfect job for nimble young humans. But the whole town joins in, even the police.
No one knows exactly when the tradition started. Lifelong resident Svavar Steingrímsson, 86, did it when he was young. He thinks the need arose when electric lights came to Heimaey in the early 1900s. Saving the young birds likely began as “a mix of sport and humanity,” Steingrímsson tells me in Icelandic translated by his grandson, Sindri Ólafsson. Also, he says, people probably wanted to sustain the population of what was then an important food source. (Puffin hunting remains a cherished cultural tradition here, but today the season length is largely restricted.)
As the town and its lights grew over the years, so did the number of wrong-way pufflings, says Steingrímsson, who once jumped into a freezing cold well to rescue one. These days, however, there are far fewer pufflings to rescue. Major puffin colonies from the British Isles to Norway have been struggling to produce young for years. In the Westman colony— birthplace of nearly one in four puffins in the North Atlantic today—the population has plunged by half since 2003. These heralds of the northern spring are now listed as endangered in Europe by the International Union for Conservation of Nature.
A quarter century ago, when Sigrún Annas father, Valur Már Valmundsson, was a boy, he rescued as many as 100 pufflings in a night. His daughter and the other kids out tonight wont see that many in an entire season. Thats one reason theyre so intent on rescuing this one under the truck bed. The girls stand guard as Valmundsson, a burly chef on a commercial fishing boat, rakes a long metal pole toward the little bird. Inch by inch, the puffling backs away.
![Sigrún Anna Valsdóttir keeps her rescue snug. A puffling may travel as far as the Grand Banks, southeast of Newfoundland, and not touch land again for as long as three years.](https://th-thumbnailer.cdn-si-edu.com/16bLcsUMuzoZMoBxMMd05USZVeQ=/fit-in/1072x0/filters:focal(688x1032:689x1033)/https://tf-cmsv2-smithsonianmag-media.s3.amazonaws.com/filer_public/f9/19/f9199879-712e-4602-8cc8-c529ba168c12/mar2023_e15_puffins.jpg)
Sigrún Anna Valsdóttir keeps her rescue snug. A puffling may travel as far as the Grand Banks, southeast of Newfoundland, and not touch land again for as long as three years. Chris Linder
![a log of puffling measurements and leg bands](https://th-thumbnailer.cdn-si-edu.com/UoSz368OmyZfe57UL_xqCrNtM1Y=/fit-in/1072x0/filters:focal(688x1032:689x1033)/https://tf-cmsv2-smithsonianmag-media.s3.amazonaws.com/filer_public/49/71/4971cb19-4d4f-4395-9064-94a98ebf630b/mar2023_e14_puffins.jpg)
A log of puffling measurements and leg bands. Chris Linder
Finally, after half an hour, the chick darts out the other side. It moves fast on its two webbed feet, but the girls are faster. Sigrún Anna wraps the bird in her mittened hands and shows it to me with a shy smile. Its sequin eyes sparkle in its gray face as it regards me calmly. Puffins kabuki faces, flashy bills and orange feet are attire for breeding, which this chick wont begin doing until its 4 or 5 years old. Tonight, it will sleep on a bed of grass in a cardboard box. Tomorrow, the girl in the bright orange jacket will stand on a cliff on the west side of the island. Shell toss the puffling into the air and watch it sail off to sea.
---
Driving through the wee hours of a cold Nordic night searching for pufflings is a surprisingly warm experience. As they roll up and down the quiet streets, shining flashlights out the car windows, Sandra Síf Sigvardsdóttir and her sister Berglind Sigvardsdóttir talk about everything under the sun.
“Its like going to a shrink in a car,” says Sandra Síf, a vivacious mother of three young girls who works as an aide for people with disabilities. She and Berglind, an EMT and mother of four, have been rescuing baby puffins since they were practically babies themselves, and they began teaching their own children before they were old enough to walk. Their childrens schoolmates call the sisters the Puffling Queens.
Around 1:30 a.m., on one of several nights I spend patrolling with them, two of Sandra Sífs daughters—Íris Dröfn Guðmundsdóttir, 8, and Eva Berglind Guðmundsdóttir, 5—drowse in the back rows of her minivan. Berglind is out in another car with her 14-year-old son, Arnar Gauti Eiríksson. The sisters chat on the phone and make plans to meet up later, after the children have been put to bed.
![Berglind Sigvardsdóttir shows her 10-month-old niece, Sara Björk Guðmundsdóttir, a puffling that older children in the family rescued and are about to release.](https://th-thumbnailer.cdn-si-edu.com/oF6UiZQxmPYulZYT91dWxtoZmyc=/fit-in/1072x0/filters:focal(1239x826:1240x827)/https://tf-cmsv2-smithsonianmag-media.s3.amazonaws.com/filer_public/51/78/5178c77b-5433-42c6-b836-eba3c9305963/mar2023_e06_puffins.jpg)
Berglind Sigvardsdóttir shows her 10-month-old niece, Sara Björk Guðmundsdóttir, a puffling that older children in the family rescued and are about to release. Chris Linder
We slowly cruise past closed shops and dark restaurants. A man on a street corner waves us over. “Are you searching for pufflings?” he asks. He hands Sandra Síf a chick he just found as he walked home from a wedding. We head toward the harbor, passing kids on scooters. Two teenage boys tote a cardboard box. A car creeps along the waterfront with a small childs face looking out the back.
Earlier that night, Sandra Sífs daughters gave me a lesson in how to rescue pufflings. “Bring a flashlight. And gloves. And a box. Look for a beak,” the girls instructed in Icelandic, translated by their mother. “We make a noise with our feet, and then listen.” Why do you do it? I asked them. Why give up sleep for days to prowl around in the dark looking for lost birds? “Because its fun,” said Íris Dröfn. “Because theyre so cute,” Eva Berglind chimed in.
“If somebody says, Tell us one thing thats on your island, probably 99.9 percent will say, puffins,’” their mother replies when I ask her later. “Everything here revolves around puffins.”
Now its 2 a.m., and were still empty-handed. “When I was a kid, they were just pouring down,” Sandra Síf recollects wistfully. Finally, at nearly 2:30 a.m., we spot a puffling amid piles of fishing nets and ropes twisting like snakes. Sandra Síf wakes up Eva Berglind, who climbs out of her car seat and snatches the little bird. Shes just gotten back into her seat when we see another one. She clambers out again.
When the birds are secure in their cartons, I ask Eva Berglind how she feels. “Freezing,” she says, rubbing her hands. “And tired.” The little girl yawns and closes her eyes, a whisper of a smile on her sleepy face.
---
A puffling dangles in a duct-tape-wrapped cylinder. Its part of a weighing contraption in the Puffling Patrol headquarters, where rescuers can bring chicks to be checked out and registered before release. Rodrigo Martínez Catalán, a research assistant with the [South Iceland Nature Research Center](https://www.government.is/topics/foreign-affairs/iceland-in-europe/eea-grants/partnership-opportunities-in-iceland/opportunity/?itemid=e9717a60-9878-11eb-8134-005056bc8c60), frowns as he records the birds weight and wing length. Another small one. It will need to stay and be fed until it grows large enough to let go.
Catalán started the 2022 season with high hopes. The breeding catastrophes that had plagued the colony since 2003 had recently started to improve. For the previous few years, most of the Westman Islands megacolonys 1.1 million burrows had produced big, healthy chicks. The 2021 crop had numbered roughly 700,000, and most were expected to survive.
![Research assistant Rodrigo Martínez Catalán examines a rescued bird](https://th-thumbnailer.cdn-si-edu.com/npUtxmhIhrygFkJRwx32Kc5oEMk=/fit-in/1072x0/filters:focal(1239x826:1240x827)/https://tf-cmsv2-smithsonianmag-media.s3.amazonaws.com/filer_public/a1/2e/a12ebcb2-875c-4403-9385-47d6da2ff7c3/mar2023_e09_puffins.jpg)
Research assistant Rodrigo Martínez Catalán examines a rescued bird. Chris Linder
![An immature puffling, still covered in down, in the Puffling Patrol operations center at its parent organization, Sea Life Trust.](https://th-thumbnailer.cdn-si-edu.com/iEa_yqrqF4xRiIh_sRfeFq6e0Cs=/fit-in/1072x0/filters:focal(1593x1062:1594x1063)/https://tf-cmsv2-smithsonianmag-media.s3.amazonaws.com/filer_public/ff/58/ff581fe0-239e-4710-8bf7-d65f64017dd1/mar2023_e17_puffins.jpg)
An immature puffling, still covered in down, in the Puffling Patrol operations center at its parent organization, Sea Life Trust Chris Linder
“The parameters were all giving the green light,” said Catalán, a wildlife biologist who moved here from his native Spain. He and colleagues were hopeful that a turnaround was underway. But halfway through the summer of 2022, nearly half the chicks had died—apparently from starvation, Cataláns boss, biologist Erpur Snær Hansen, tells me. The pufflings Catalán was seeing at the center were lighter than average, with lower odds of surviving their first winter. And the number of rescues was down. The season was beginning to look more like a relapse than a rebound.
Icelands puffin population has long waxed and waned, following natural ocean temperature cycles, says Hansen, the nature research centers director. As Icelands chief puffin scientist, Hansen makes a twice-yearly circuit of the nations colonies to report on the seasons breeding success. He has compiled more than a century of Westman Islands sea surface temperature and hunting records to create the worlds longest puffin population data set. Historically, reproduction slumped when a warm phase tanked the supply of sandeel—a nutritious, pencil-shaped fish that the Westman Islands megacolony relies on to feed its chicks. Sustained higher temperatures perturb sandeel metabolism and reproduction, causing a scarcity of prey close enough to the colony for parents to reach while tending young. Some years, most chicks have starved. Other years, most of the colony has skipped breeding altogether. Then, when sea surface temperatures moderated, puffling numbers ramped up again.
Puffins are a long-lived species—topping 25 years on average and up to a venerable 36—so colonies can withstand some years of breeding failure and still have adults around to try again. But nothing in the records stretching back to 1880 comes close to the cataclysmic population crash this century, Hansen says. For a decade and a half starting in 2003, chick production was below sustainable population levels. Scientists are investigating the reasons, but it looks like normal fluctuations are being amplified and disrupted by climate change. “We are seeing something extraordinary,” Hansen tells me. “Changes that just slap you in the face, theyre so big.”
![Erpur Snær Hansen](https://th-thumbnailer.cdn-si-edu.com/UqTaNbZ82uUgXQwy3JHHzFMxnao=/fit-in/1072x0/filters:focal(1239x826:1240x827)/https://tf-cmsv2-smithsonianmag-media.s3.amazonaws.com/filer_public/30/09/3009e793-8b7d-4af8-9317-2055851e3778/mar2023_e08_puffins.jpg)
Scientist Erpur Snær Hansen checks instruments recording environmental conditions. Chris Linder
![puffin](https://th-thumbnailer.cdn-si-edu.com/d2u6f71df1kli5qs4BkJKr0mpW4=/fit-in/1072x0/filters:focal(2692x1795:2693x1796)/https://tf-cmsv2-smithsonianmag-media.s3.amazonaws.com/filer_public/b5/e3/b5e38048-2c3b-41b5-b031-63bc2e666c7f/mar2023_e07_puffins.jpg)
At sea, a puffins dark back helps conceal it from predators above, and its white belly from predators below. An adults bright colors appear only in the breeding season. Chris Linder
Seabird babies face a tight schedule in the short northern summers. After around six weeks in the egg, pufflings have roughly six weeks to grow and fledge before winter returns. Yet in recent years, puffin breeding in the Westman Islands has sometimes been more than two weeks delayed. Hansen thinks the delays are linked to late starts for the spring ocean productivity cycle. If the puffins began breeding at their usual time while food sources lagged behind, their chicks would arrive without enough to eat. When breeding is postponed, however, chicks are robbed of precious growing time.
Breeding disruptions are also underway in Norway, says Tone Reiertsen, a seabird biologist with the Norwegian Institute for Nature Research. In the Barents Sea colony she monitors, the puffins have been prolonging their pre-breeding period, taking more time to fatten up in preparation for the rigors of producing eggs and rearing chicks. But this does not seem to increase the colonys breeding success, she says. Reiertsen is investigating the grim possibility that the changing environment may exceed breeding puffins ability to adapt. “They still try to breed, and the chicks are dying.”
Shifting ocean circulation is at least partly to blame for the puffins plight, Hansen and other scientists believe. In the subpolar gyre south of Greenland, cold, nutrient-rich Arctic water mixes with warmer, nutrient-poor water from the south. By controlling the mixture, the gyre governs the annual spring bloom of phytoplankton, the base of the ocean food web. For most of this century, the gyre has been weak, Hansen says—allowing more southern water into the system, which dials back the supply of silicate, a mineral essential for the tiny organisms growth. The Westman colonys breeding disasters correspond to low-silicate years, Hansens observations find.
![Puffin on cliff](https://th-thumbnailer.cdn-si-edu.com/UJqiYVr362rk4vnb_ePUATeo-Js=/fit-in/1072x0/filters:focal(1398x932:1399x933)/https://tf-cmsv2-smithsonianmag-media.s3.amazonaws.com/filer_public/c0/05/c005a838-1fd9-4083-b517-0a34d18ae46a/mar2023_e04_puffins.jpg)
Some rescuers release a puffling by tossing it in the air, while others simply place it on the clifftop, where it launches itself over the edge, catches a breeze and glides down to sea. Chris Linder
![Puffin on cliff 2](https://th-thumbnailer.cdn-si-edu.com/AhS42mGoA9V0vkdK6_whlcKHKOI=/fit-in/1072x0/filters:focal(1239x826:1240x827)/https://tf-cmsv2-smithsonianmag-media.s3.amazonaws.com/filer_public/55/ae/55aeec1d-16c0-4b81-ac2c-c8fdc55023b2/mar2023_e03_puffins.jpg)
Offshore, puffins can rise by flapping their wings and paddling their webbed feet across the water. Chris Linder
![Puffin on cliff 3](https://th-thumbnailer.cdn-si-edu.com/H1kaKwWrQfm_vD3zOYPx3heFUwM=/fit-in/1072x0/filters:focal(1402x935:1403x936)/https://tf-cmsv2-smithsonianmag-media.s3.amazonaws.com/filer_public/d3/a9/d3a9089a-fe64-4f13-9c5f-7e3facaeb944/mar2023_e02_puffins.jpg)
Takeoff is more difficult from the land. Chris Linder
At sea, climate change is increasingly fueling extreme storms that prevent birds from feeding, which causes mass die-offs. Puffins and other seabirds also face threats from overfishing, marine pollution, invasive species and more. Rising numbers of voracious mackerel in Icelandic waters, for instance, may outcompete the puffins prey. And some puffins may be exceptionally vulnerable to the changing environment, due to their unusual habit of molting twice—leaving them flightless for more than two months—during their time at sea.
Nonetheless, Hansen says hes hopeful for Westman Islands puffins future, at least in the short term. Both silicate levels and chick production have been ticking up in the past few years. And despite the dramatic drop in 2022, when the total number of pufflings rescued ended up less than half that of the year before, Hansen says it still surpassed the “abysmal horror” years when almost no chicks survived. “There is a real increase,” Hansen says. “Its really good compared to zero.”
---
At a sea cliff called Hamarinn, a parade of families arrives with boxes. Crowds watch as children stand on a low stone wall, flinging chicks skyward to spread their wings and glide down to the water below.
It seems as if all of Heimaey—and then some—is at Hamarinn at some point during my visit. A group of international students from Estonia liberates a puffling found on an island tour. A tourist from Wisconsin snaps photos. Families with members too young or too old for the Puffling Patrol come to watch.
Ágústa Ósk Georgsdóttir and Sunna Tórshamar Georgsdóttir, two sisters in their 20s, are here many days with a trunkload of rescued birds. “I feel proud that I helped it get to the ocean,” Ágústa says as she watches one fly off. “And maybe someday Ill rescue its pufflings,” Sunna adds. Together, the sisters, who work as caregivers at a nursing home, will rescue 125 pufflings this season.
![Children head to Hamarinn with boxes of pufflings to be released.](https://th-thumbnailer.cdn-si-edu.com/JOn1Sdc_nak5Fm9qZSZ_AYwzbug=/fit-in/1072x0/filters:focal(1445x963:1446x964)/https://tf-cmsv2-smithsonianmag-media.s3.amazonaws.com/filer_public/c8/77/c8770366-85a6-4b09-99d4-fcbc05f10470/mar2023_e13_puffins.jpg)
Children head to Hamarinn with boxes of pufflings to be released. Chris Linder
![Seabird nesting areas along the cliffs of Heimaey. Puffins dig underground burrows in the grassy slopes, often returning to the same nest year after year.](https://th-thumbnailer.cdn-si-edu.com/Uey6IJyohBL3VMKgcY1MDxD9XLw=/fit-in/1072x0/filters:focal(2636x1983:2637x1984)/https://tf-cmsv2-smithsonianmag-media.s3.amazonaws.com/filer_public/af/76/af76f04b-2a2e-449c-9f4d-48076ac7a959/mar2023_e01_puffins.jpg)
Seabird nesting areas along the cliffs of Heimaey. Puffins dig underground burrows in the grassy slopes, often returning to the same nest year after year. Chris Linder
![Sandra Síf Sigvardsdóttir hands her daughter, Eva Berglind Guðmundsdóttir, age 5, a puffling to be released at the Hamarinn sea cliff.](https://th-thumbnailer.cdn-si-edu.com/lH9EsTmuxPzYi_5b_IW137mtAXo=/fit-in/1072x0/filters:focal(640x427:641x428)/https://tf-cmsv2-smithsonianmag-media.s3.amazonaws.com/filer_public/7e/11/7e11dc44-1444-4a00-b999-d50d34627ec6/mar2023_e18_puffins.jpg)
Sandra Síf Sigvardsdóttir hands her daughter Eva Berglind Guðmundsdóttir, age 5, a puffling to be released at the Hamarinn sea cliff. Chris Linder
Hope is the thing that drives the people of Heimaey to care for pufflings. I see it in Berglind, whos taken one of the scrawny ones home to fatten it up. Six times a day, she cuts capelin fish into baby-bird-sized slices and feeds it to the chick. “The pufflings need us to help them,” she says, smiling as we watch the little bird swallow a slice whole and wriggle to work it down. “Its kind of a mothering instinct thing.”
I see that feeling in the tattooed hipster who hops out of his car in the middle of the night to pick up a puffling that has just fallen from the sky. Its there in the high school girls driving around with a puffling in the back seat—and the schoolgirl bicycling to Hamarinn with a puffling in one hand. Its shared by the teachers, who put up with sleepy students because they were out late on Puffling Patrol themselves.
The reward is setting a bird free. Íris Dröfn strides with solemn purpose atop the rock wall with a puffin cap on her head and a puffling in her hands. Her youngest sister, 10-month-old Sara Björk, watches wide-eyed, looking eager to get in the game just as soon as she can.
![Triptych Íris Dröfn Guðmundsdóttir demonstrates the popular underhand puffling toss. With her hands holding the birds wings tight to its body, she gently swings the puffling down once and then releases it as she swings it upwards.](https://th-thumbnailer.cdn-si-edu.com/HrVsKevpjuDXtpUVq_aNucqpb4M=/fit-in/1072x0/filters:focal(1935x424:1936x425)/https://tf-cmsv2-smithsonianmag-media.s3.amazonaws.com/filer_public/c1/12/c112f220-1344-442b-8ae8-3d0a761447be/triptych.jpg)
Íris Dröfn Guðmundsdóttir demonstrates the popular underhand puffling toss. Chris Linder
“Shes got no choice,” Sandra Síf says. “If shes going to be my baby, shes got to love pufflings.”
Its a passion Sandra Síf loves to share. Before photographer Chris Linder and I leave the island, she meets us at the ferry with a cardboard box. Inside is a puffling for us to release during our ride.
Now, as the promise of spring stirs puffins yearning for land, the folks of Heimaey are eager for their return. “It is a big part of the whole summer,” says Jóhann Freyr Ragnarsson, a retired mariner who grew up rescuing pufflings. “It is news in the local newspaper when the first puffins come to the cliffs.”
Perhaps a few years from now, one of these returning birds will be the puffling I saw last fall, tossed into the air by a young girl in a bright orange jacket, her arms held aloft as she watched it fly off over the ocean, full of wonder and hope as she saved one small part of the world.
[Birds](https://www.smithsonianmag.com/tag/birds/) [children](https://www.smithsonianmag.com/tag/children/) [Climate Change](https://www.smithsonianmag.com/tag/climate-change/) [Iceland](https://www.smithsonianmag.com/tag/iceland-1/) [Sea Birds](https://www.smithsonianmag.com/tag/sea-birds/)
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# An alleged $500 million Ponzi scheme preyed on Mormons. It ended with FBI gunfire.
## In Las Vegas, a lawyer with huge gambling debts is accused of a financial fraud that left hundreds of victims in its wake
(Washington Post illustration/iStock)
LAS VEGAS — The FBI arrived at the only house on this stretch of Ruffian Road at 1:25 p.m., parking out front of the $1.6 million property, hedged by empty lots of scrub and dust.
The three agents approached the camera-equipped doorbell at the homes perimeter, pressing it once. Then they pushed past an unlocked gate, cut through the courtyard and rapped against the glass French doors of Matthew Beasleys home.
![](https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/MWSHZQIJ45DLZN7NDIJBIPLJ7Y.jpg)
Las Vegas investigative reporter [Jeff German](https://www.reviewjournal.com/local/local-las-vegas/private-and-passionate-jeff-german-loved-his-work-sports-and-family-2645286/) was slain outside his home on Sept. 2; a Clark County official he had investigated is [charged in his death](https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2022/09/08/las-vegas-journalist-murder-charge/). To continue Germans work, The Washington Post teamed up with his newspaper, the Las Vegas Review-Journal, to complete one of the stories hed planned to pursue before [his killing.](https://www.reviewjournal.com/crime/homicides/review-journal-investigative-reporter-jeff-german-killed-outside-home-2634323/) A folder on Germans desk contained court documents hed started to gather about an alleged Ponzi scheme that left hundreds of victims many of them Mormon in its wake. Post reporter Lizzie Johnson began investigating, working with Review-Journal photographer Rachel Aston.
The Las Vegas attorney, then 49, had been anticipating this visit for months, he would tell an FBI hostage negotiator. Hed already drafted letters to his wife and four children, explaining what he could and describing how much he loved them.
On this Thursday in March, Beasley knew his time was up. He placed the letters — along with a note addressed to the FBI and a zip drive of computer files — upstairs on the desk in his office. Then, alone in the house, he went to the front door. He paused, the left side of his body obscured by the door frame.
One of the agents — identified only as “J.M.” in a detailed criminal complaint filed March 4 in the U.S. District Court of Nevada — opened his suit jacket and flashed his badge.
Beasley stepped fully into the doorway. He held a loaded pistol against his head.
“Easy, easy,” yelled J.M.
“Drop the gun,” shouted a second agent.
Authorities had long suspected Beasley of running a massive Ponzi scheme with his business partner, Jeffrey Judd, that mainly targeted Mormons, as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are often called. The investment was pitched as a nearly risk-free opportunity to earn annual returns of 50 percent by lending money to slip-and-fall victims awaiting checks after the settlement of their lawsuits.
There was just one problem, the Securities and Exchange Commission charged in a civil complaint. None of it was real.
For five years, the SEC said, Beasley and Judd paid existing investors with money from new clients — a classic Ponzi scheme. The most notorious fraud of this kind, run by [Wall Street financial guru Bernie Madoff](https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/obituaries/bernie-madoff-dead/2021/04/14/f8e33fa8-c5da-11df-94e1-c5afa35a9e59_story.html?itid=lk_inline_manual_15), cost investors billions of dollars. By comparison, one expert said, the alleged Vegas scam was distinguished less by its size and more by its victims: It came to be known as the “Mormon Ponzi scheme.”
More than 900 people invested their savings — an estimated $500 million — between 2017 and 2022. They included surgeons, real estate developers, Mormon bishops, retirees and stay-at-home mothers. Money poured in from as far away as Singapore, Taiwan and Australia, according to a class-action lawsuit filed in July against Wells Fargo, where Beasley had an attorney trust account to hold and disburse client money. (The bank has moved to dismiss the lawsuit, denying any wrongdoing.)
Some people emptied their retirement accounts, according to more than two dozen interviews with investors by The Washington Post, while others took out a second mortgage on their house.
“Theyve destroyed a lot of peoples entire lives,” said Greg Hart, 81, a retired entrepreneur who lives in Buckeye, Ariz., and fears he may be forced to sell his home. “About $2.2 million — 95 percent of our money — was tied up in it. … This has been completely and totally devastating.”
Meanwhile, Beasley, who repeatedly acknowledged that he was running a Ponzi scheme during his confrontation with the FBI, and Judd, who has denied knowingly defrauding anyone, amassed a fortune. They bought luxury vehicles, a private jet, cryptocurrency, and multimillion-dollar properties in California, Nevada and Utah, according to reports by [the court-appointed receiver](https://jjconsulting-receivership.com/), who has recovered about $90 million in investor funds by selling those assets.
Before the FBI arrived at Beasleys door that day, theyd raided Judds $6.6 million mountainside mansion, which overlooked the Las Vegas Strip. There, according to a new court filing, agents confiscated Judds cellphones and computers, more than a half-dozen high-end watches, thousands of silver and gold coins, and nearly $400,000 in cash, just a day before the nuptials of his 21-year-old daughter.
“The sad thing is he has all of his family in town for that big wedding,” a colleague texted Beasley at 12:07 p.m.
“Really surprised they have \[not\] come to me,” Beasley replied three minutes later.
But his house was next.
As the FBI agents shouted at him, Beasley said later in an interview with The Post, he pointed the pistol toward the ground.
He was doing what the three agents had asked of him, Beasley said, adding that “I never pointed my gun anywhere except for my head.” The FBI maintains in its criminal complaint, though, that he aimed the weapon at the agents. At least one opened fire, striking Beasley in the chest and shoulder.
He retreated into his home, refusing to come out as the [FBI assembled a SWAT team](https://www.reviewjournal.com/crime/courts/lawyer-shot-by-fbi-agents-accused-of-running-300m-ponzi-scheme-2541707/) and began recording its calls with him. The hostage negotiator tried to persuade him to seek medical care, but Beasley repeatedly threatened to kill himself, saying that he didnt want to go to prison.
“I f---ed this all up …” Beasley told the FBI, which entered transcripts of the conversations into the court record. “And Im not even talking about today. This was not even close to my worst decision today. My worst decisions happened many years ago.”
Soon after, the line went quiet. Crouched on the floor with the pistol resting on his chest, Beasley had dropped his cellphone, slick with his own blood.
###
Really lucky to be involved
Ann Mabeus was at a Starbucks on March 3 when her cellphone began blinking with notifications. Then a call rang through.
“Ann,” her friend told the single mother, then 42. “Do you realize that the Humphries house is getting raided right now?”
The FBI was also executing a search warrant at the home of Chris Humphries.
Mabeus blanched. Humphries — who has maintained his innocence and sought dismissal of the SEC complaint against him — had been a marketer of the same investment that shed put most of her money into.
Though they socialized and were members of the same Mormon church, Mabeus and her husband wound up investing through another marketer, Shane Jager, the 47-year-old owner of a pest control company.
Jager had four children about the same age as the Mabeus kids. Like more than a dozen other marketers of the investment, he earned commissions by bringing people in, though he denies in an SEC filing that he knowingly defrauded anyone and accuses Beasley of deceiving him.
Everyone called the operation J&J, referencing two LLCs created by Jeff Judd: J&J Consulting Services and J&J Purchasing.
Jager had told Mabeus about the opportunity to make money in August 2019, during a couples trip to Mexico, she said. She felt flattered to be included.
“We were a little nervous, but we trusted him,” Mabeus said. “Because we were friends and belonged to the same church, the red flags were heart-shaped. I was like, Wow. We are really lucky to be involved in this investment.’”
The next month, she and her husband wired over $140,000. Ninety days later, the first interest payment of $18,000 arrived, right on time. The couple continued adding money, until they reached a total of $680,000, she said.
“There was never a hiccup,” Mabeus said. “My bishop was involved and invested, and so were my closest friends. A lot of people were told to keep it quiet.”
When she and her husband, a former Major League Baseball pitcher who worked for a medical device company, divorced in June 2021, Mabeus agreed to take the investment as alimony. She planned to rely on the dividends, along with child support payments, to remain at home with her daughter and three sons. A former elementary school teacher, she hadnt worked for 13 years.
Now, Mabeus hung up the phone, horrified.
She tried to call Jager. No answer.
“Word is spreading like wildfire,” Mabeus remembered. “People are texting left and right. No one is getting responses.”
Maybe it was all a big misunderstanding, she thought. She told herself that shed know for sure the next day, when the quarterly interest payment was scheduled to hit her bank account.
But when Friday arrived, the money didnt. All her savings, Mabeus realized, were gone.
###
Gentlemans investment club
Matt Beasleys gambling debts were mounting.
He was big into sports betting, he told the FBI, and by late 2016, hed paid his bookie the last $40,000 he had. He was being pressured to come up with more, he said, so he decided to get lunch with Judd, a friend and former law client.
Beasleys path to becoming a Las Vegas lawyer had been a halting one.
He grew up in the Kansas City area, the younger of two children. After his parents divorce, he rarely saw his father, a union electrician who went on to remarry four times, according to a psychological evaluation requested by his attorney and entered into the court record. Unmoored, it took Beasley a decade to finish his undergraduate degree, eventually obtaining a finance and management degree from [Park University](https://www.park.edu/) in Missouri.
He moved to Las Vegas in 2004 after graduating from the University of Missouri-Kansas City School of Law. He chose it, he told The Post during three short phone conversations and a series of written messages, because he hadnt really visited anywhere else.
Unlike Judd, Beasley was not Mormon. The two men met through their sons, who played soccer together.
“We became friends,” Beasley told The Post, “and then I represented him on a couple pharmacy cases.”
Judd was a native of Las Vegas whod dabbled in real estate and pharmaceutical sales while his wife, Jennifer, stayed home with their two sons and two daughters.
At lunch, Beasley told Judd that he had an investment opportunity to share: bridge loans for slip-and-fall victims awaiting their settlements.
“I just explained it as this type of deal related to lawsuits,” Beasley told the FBI.
In an Oct. 6, 2016, email obtained by The Post, Beasley wrote to Judd that he had a client who “wants a $50k loan which will pay back $60k within 45 days.”
Judd “thought it was a legitimate investment,” said someone familiar with Judds involvement, who spoke on the condition of anonymity for legal reasons.
“Man, this is a great idea,” Beasley recalled Judd saying. “Do you know any other attorneys \[so\] we could continue to grow this?”
As cash flowed into Beasleys attorney trust account, he told the FBI, he used it to pay his gambling debts. In all, SEC forensic accounting would show that Beasley sent more than $6.7 million to his bookie.
After a while, Beasley told the FBI, “I realized theres no going back. … Jeff had more people that were interested in getting in, so I made up more attorneys deals and I just kept growing it.” Beasley said he never actually talked to other attorneys.
He maintained to the FBI that Judd didnt know it was a Ponzi scheme.
In an April SEC complaint against Judd — who received at least $315 million from the alleged scam — the regulatory agency said that he either “knew or was reckless in not knowing … the business was a fraud.”
When asked to submit evidence clarifying his status as a “victim,” SEC lawyers said in a July court filing, Judd refused, “asserting his Fifth Amendment privilege against self-incrimination.’”
In an email, Judds criminal defense attorney, Nick Oberheiden, blamed Beasley for the alleged fraud and took issue with the SECs characterization of Judd, saying that “legal terms like knowledge and intent are complex, technical, and sausage-like: few know whats really inside.”
As the operation got bigger, so did the mens lifestyles. Beasley bought a $3.8 million house in South Lake Tahoe, Calif. He bought a $750,000 RV, a $250,000 boat, a $240,000 Bentley Continental and two $25,000 Jet Skis, according to a list of relinquished and seized assets filed in court.
Judd, now 50, purchased a 6,330-square-foot home in the gated community of Ascaya, which claimed Las Vegas Raiders owner Mark Davis and Kiss rocker Gene Simmons as residents. He drove a $650,000 Rolls-Royce Black Badge Cullinan and a $400,000 Rolls-Royce Dawn convertible.
“I have the illness,” Judd texted a friend in April 2021, referencing the new Porsche he planned to add to his fleet of cars.
The SEC noted that in one text message from October 2020, Judd referenced the investment as “an illegal business.” He also assured potential investors that hed had discussions with the lawyers Beasley was working with — even though Beasley said hed never contacted any — and had seen the personal injury settlements and bank statements, the SEC said.
The source familiar with Judds involvement called that assertion “an overstatement” unsupported by any real evidence. He also denied Judd was the initiator of nondisclosure agreements intended, the SEC said, to deter clients from contacting the personal injury lawyers listed on their investment contracts, as well as a clause prohibiting them from contacting any parties “without the written consent of Jeffrey Judd.”
“Beasley created excuses for the need to have these,” and Judd had no reason to question it, the person familiar with Judds involvement said.
Despite the red flags, hundreds of investors were receiving their dividends on time and word was spreading.
Marshall Gibbs, a 37-year-old dentist in Cheney, Wash., said it was described to him by marketer Jason Jongeward as a “gentlemans investment club.” Jongeward has maintained he did not intentionally defraud anyone in SEC filings.
“We started chatting, and he said, We have this investment. My wife and I are going to be able to retire early because of it. We just feel so blessed,’” Gibbs said. “I did have my suspicions, but he said his family was in it. That just kept fueling me to add more.”
Gibbs wound up investing $940,000, he said.
The SEC had been investigating J&J since at least December 2020, according to court documents, after a Salt Lake City attorney became alarmed by a friends investment paperwork and reported it.
Then those same contracts started hitting the desk of an accountant in Washington state.
“I started panicking because I realized there were five clients already involved in this stuff, probably blowing their money,” said the accountant, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because of the investigation.
He decided to send an email to a New York City-based investment firm that [specializes in exposing fraud](https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2023/01/28/adani-hindenburg-anderson-short-selling/?itid=lk_inline_manual_88).
“So many of the details seem incredibly off,” he wrote in the Jan. 11, 2022, email to [Hindenburg Research](https://hindenburgresearch.com/) that he shared with The Post. “I dont mean to waste your time but I am very concerned there are all kinds of people, small businesses, individuals, etc. that stand to lose tens of millions.”
If anyone could help, the accountant thought, it would be this group. In some circles, the people at Hindenburg had come to be known as Ponzi hunters.
###
Outrageous claims
They were going to need a private plane.
In the month since Hindenburg Research founder [Nate Anderson](https://www.nytimes.com/2021/08/16/business/short-seller-wall-street-scams-hindenburg.html) had first heard of J&J, his firm had secretly recorded phone conversations with Jongeward, who would later tell the SEC that he was “only trying to help my family and friends.”
“We really, really struggled to see the risk,” Jongeward had said during one call with Hindenburg Research. “I think thats probably why the performance has been — Ill call it immaculate.”
Anderson, 38, whod once worked with the whistleblower who tried to warn the SEC about Bernie Madoff, said he had immediately spotted the telltale signs of a Ponzi scheme. An online search showed neither Judd nor Beasley had liens listed under their names, which, in a legitimate endeavor, would have ensured legal recourse if the slip-and-fall victims didnt pay back their loans, Anderson said.
The investment also had no website. Spread via word of mouth, it was reliant on the trust that came from a shared religious affiliation, known as [an affinity scam](https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/beware-the-ponzi-schemer-next-door/2011/05/03/AFdz8e8F_story.html?itid=lk_inline_manual_97).
“The explanation was that it was such a brilliant strategy that they needed to keep it as secretive as possible,” Anderson said. “Litigation finance is a competitive and specialized field. Yet they were claiming to be able to generate five times the returns of everyone else in the industry, with virtually no risk and no defaults. It took very little time to realize this was highly likely to be a complete Ponzi scheme. The challenge was in proving it.”
Any evidence that Hindenburg gathered would be [turned over to authorities](https://hindenburgresearch.com/jj-purchasing/), ensuring it would be in line for a government-funded whistleblower award. Under the SECs program, the group could stand to receive [up to 30 percent](https://www.sec.gov/whistleblower) of any fines collected, potentially amounting to millions of dollars.
The firm wanted to record Judd giving the same pitch as lower-level marketers. To lure him in, it would need something flashy.
One of Andersons colleagues knew of just the right bait: Mark Holt, a Salt Lake City entrepreneur who owned a private aviation business — and had an unlikely connection to Judd.
Holt, a Mormon, had attended Bonanza High School in Las Vegas with Judd. On Facebook, the two men shared more than 40 friends. Holts ex-fiancee was a woman Judd had once dated, too.
Holt agreed to help out by posing as a “whale” — a wealthy businessman looking for places to invest large sums of money — in his case, $50 million.
Holt had been defrauded himself a decade earlier, giving money to a man who promised a 25 percent interest payment if the price of Canadian oil stayed above $30 a barrel. When his returns arrived, Holt decided to bring his mother in. Not long after shed invested a good chunk of her savings, he said, the man disappeared.
Now one of Holts private planes would serve as the site of a pitch meeting designed to expose J&J as a Ponzi scheme.
On Feb. 17, Holt arrived with a Hindenburg Research whistleblower — identified only as “Mike” in recordings given to the FBI and SEC **—** at Henderson Executive Airport in Nevada, where a parked jet had been rigged with surveillance equipment. Cameras were tucked in a water bottle, a tissue box and a bowl of mints. Audio equipment was inserted into the planes overhead lights.
They invited marketers Jongeward and Jager on board. Judd didnt usually do introductory pitches like this, though Holt hoped that their shared history, combined with the plane, would be enough to guarantee a later phone call.
Over chicken salads and sandwiches, the men chatted with Holt about being Mormon and tried to sell him on the investment. A former improv comedian, Holt played the part — “mostly excited,” he said, “a little bit cautious, credulous enough.”
“Ive heard some pretty outrageous claims as far as returns go,” Holt, then 48, told the marketers. “So it seems … too good to be true. So maybe you guys can help me understand, wrap my head around it.”
“When I first heard about it,” Jager replied, “I thought it was too good to be true, and it took me … about six months to get off the fence and put some money into it. Fast-forward today, almost five years later, its never missed a beat. … Its more or less a friends and family deal.”
Marketers Jason Jongeward and Shane Jager meet with Mark Holt on a private plane in Henderson, Nev. (Video: Hal de Becker III)
Holt said he still wasnt sure. He wanted to talk with Judd first.
A week later, on Feb. 24, they got on the phone.
“Jeff lives high up on the mountain,” Jager explained, his voice tinny as he merged the conference call. “And sometimes cell service isnt great.”
“All right,” Holt said. “Awesome. Okay. This is *the* Jeff Judd, huh?”
“Jeff Judd from a long time ago,” Judd replied, laughing.
They spent a few minutes catching up on all that had transpired since their graduation from Bonanza High — how Judd had gone to Chile for his mission trip, while Holt had been sent to Portugal. How Judds 23-year-old son [was a professional soccer player](https://mobile.twitter.com/prestonjudd10/status/1487996291669843969) for the LA Galaxy, while Holt had a 1-year-old at home, with a second child on the way. Then they turned to business.
Judd explained that he had “$475 million under management.”
“Its changed a lot of peoples lives,” Judd said, because the returns are so good. “I wasnt greedy when I did that. I mean, we pay a high percentage. So my thought process was, Its not my money. Im going to make my money on each deal. Then why wouldnt I pay out a high percentage? So thats the way we set it up.”
Judd hit the same points as Jongeward and Jager — little risk, high reward. Holt pretended to mull it over. He said he was considering investing $2 million, to start.
Thatd be no problem, Judd agreed.
Within a week, the FBI was at Judds door. And then they were at Beasleys.
###
Hey, Dad
The FBI negotiator couldnt persuade Beasley to surrender.
Beasleys 22-year-old son joined the effort to end the standoff, now in its fourth hour. Hed recorded a message for his father, but Beasley refused to listen to it.
Slouched in the entryway, the floor scattered with broken glass from the front door, he fingered the loaded gun. Hed bought the pistol just before his sons birth, he told the FBI, so he could protect him, no matter what.
Now, Beasley wasnt sure he could stand up. Hed lost a lot of blood and was in shock. He told the negotiator that he couldnt face his family.
“Your son is still here,” the negotiator said. “He refuses to leave. … Do you want to hear his message?”
Finally, Beasley agreed. Over the phone, he heard a recording of his sons voice: *Hey, Dad, its me. … \[We\] are waiting for you outside. I love you and need you to come out. … Everything is going to be okay.*
Outside, darkness had fallen. Floodlights were aimed at the house, and the SWAT team was finally ordered to enter and bring Beasley out in handcuffs.
He was taken to a hospital before being charged with assault on a federal officer.
Since then, hes been held at Nevada Southern Detention Center in Pahrump, a windblown swath of high desert about 60 miles west of Las Vegas.
No criminal charges have been filed against anyone else, including Judd, Humphries, Jager and Jongeward.
“We do not comment on potential charges,” said Trisha Young, a spokeswoman for the U.S. attorneys office in Las Vegas.
In an interview with The Post, Beasley said he figures more charges were probably coming.
“Almost everything about the shooting has been misrepresented,” Beasley said. “Considering the only charges I have are related to the shooting, I guess I dont have a problem with being the only one incarcerated. I assume that once charges on the alleged financial crimes come down that I wont be alone. It is simply illogical to think otherwise.”
At Beasleys initial court appearance, on March 8, his attorney argued that his standoff with the FBI had been a result of a “one-time extreme emotional crisis” and asked that he be released.
But Tony Lopez, chief of the white-collar crime section at the U.S. attorneys office in Las Vegas, objected.
“This nine-figure Ponzi scheme is what made the defendant hole up in his house for four hours until the FBI had to literally drag him out,” Lopez told the judge. “He was willing to take his own life rather than answer for his actions.”
The consequences of those actions were wreaking havoc on the lives of hundreds of people across the country, including Beasleys own loved ones.
Less than three weeks after the FBI raid, Beasleys wife divorced him. She moved out of the house on Ruffian Road, which was seized along with millions of dollars in other assets to help repay investors.
To support their two younger sons, Beasleys attorney said in court, his wife had gotten a job working 5 a.m. to 1:30 p.m., Sunday through Thursday. And his oldest son — who had once described his father as his greatest hero on his biography for his university soccer team — had left college to help out at home.
###
Survival mode
The mansion had a towering entryway with a chandelier that cast rainbows against the walls on sunny days. It had a soccer field and a basketball court and more garages than most families would ever need.
Ann Mabeus hoped this house would save her.
It was mid-November, and she was still reeling from the collapse of J&J.
Shed been renting a house across town for herself and her kids, but shed fallen behind on the $3,890 monthly payments. The $3,600 she received in child support each month wasnt enough to pay her bills.
Her church had helped, paying two months of rent and providing donated groceries, which she picked up at the Bishops Storehouse, a 24-mile drive away. But Mabeus didnt have health insurance. She couldnt afford birthday parties for the kids. She needed to start earning an income again.
“I dont have time to be angry,” Mabeus said. “Im in survival mode. Everything in my life has to change. I have to learn how to make money.”
Shed decided to become a real estate agent. If she sold this mansion — owned by someone whose children shed home-schooled during the pandemic and who had since moved to Florida — shed make enough on commission to pay her debts and float her family for a few more months, until she could list more houses.
On a dark-skied afternoon just before Thanksgiving, she drove toward a real estate firm, where shed enrolled in a home-selling course. Outside, the palm trees whipped in the wind, winter rain splashing against the arid ground.
Mabeus felt like she was foundering. She often woke up in the middle of the night, panicked and anxious.
In class, a presenter promised the aspiring real estate agents that prospecting karma — making connections to sell houses — was a thing.
Mabeus rested her chin in her hand, her mind wandering. She had a lot left to do to get the mansion listed and sold. She needed to get landscapers in and a dumpster out. She needed to get an exterior light fixed and the dust and debris swept out of the hallways.
After the class ended, she drove back to the huge house. In the driveway, she checked her cellphone. A friend had texted, asking how she was doing. She set her phone down without replying.
###
Fearing eviction
In mid-January, Mabeus arrived home to a pink notice on the garage door of her rental.
Shed fallen behind on all her bills, she said. Her bank account was overdrawn. Shed racked up nearly $10,000 in credit card debt. The internet had been shut off, and the electricity was next. She was considering filing for bankruptcy. Her 17-year-old son — with $201.12 in his checking account — had more to his name than she did.
Now, this notice was threatening eviction.
Mabeus had a week to pay the two months of rent shed missed or risk being booted from her home. She couldnt afford to pay the $7,780, but she also couldnt afford to move. A new place meant another deposit and first months rent.
The mansion with the chandelier was still a week or so away from being [listed](https://www.aryeo.com/v2/12-highland-creek-dr-henderson-nv-89052-3325672/branded).
She counted the cash in her wallet: $54.
Online, she applied for teaching jobs, food stamps, housing assistance. She had a masters degree, but couldnt get a call back about work.
Mabeuss bishop held an emergency meeting. The church would pay her back rent and take care of the utilities, he told her, but he wanted the family in something cheaper, like a two-bedroom apartment, before her lease ran out on March 1. She had six weeks to figure it out, and she was determined to do so.
On New Years Eve, Mabeus had jotted down a list of goals for 2023 in a note on her cellphone. She scrolled through the list again. The final one was the most important. It read: “Stand on my own two feet.”
**About this story**
*Las Vegas investigative reporter* [*Jeff German*](https://www.reviewjournal.com/local/local-las-vegas/private-and-passionate-jeff-german-loved-his-work-sports-and-family-2645286/) *was slain outside his home on Sept. 2*; *a Clark County official he had investigated is* [*charged in his death*](https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2022/09/08/las-vegas-journalist-murder-charge/?itid=lk_inline_manual_174)*. To continue Germans work, The Washington Post teamed up with his newspaper, the Las Vegas Review-Journal, to complete one of the stories hed planned to pursue before* [*his killing*](https://www.reviewjournal.com/crime/homicides/review-journal-investigative-reporter-jeff-german-killed-outside-home-2634323/)*. A folder on Germans desk contained court documents hed started to gather about an alleged Ponzi scheme that left hundreds of victims many of them Mormon in its wake. Post reporter Lizzie Johnson began investigating, working with Review-Journal photographer Rachel Aston.*
*Editing by Lynda Robinson, photo editing by Benjamin Hager and Mark Miller, copy editing by Frances Moody and Christopher Rickett, design by Tara McCarty, design editing by Christian Font. Razzan Nakhlawi contributed to this report.*
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# Ancient inhabitants of the Basin of Mexico kept an accurate agricultural calendar using sunrise observatories and mountain alignments
Edited by Linda Manzanilla, Universidad Nacional Autonóma de México, Mexico, D.F., Mexico; received September 12, 2022; accepted November 11, 2022
December 12, 2022
119 (51) e2215615119
## Significance
Without the navigational and calendric instruments of the 16th century Europeans (like gnomon, compass, quadrant, or astrolabe), the inhabitants of the Basin of Mexico were able to keep an accurate agricultural calendar that allowed them to plan their agricultural cycle to feed one of the largest population densities on Earth, as well as maintaining rituals associated to the solar seasons. To achieve this, they used the rugged topography of the Basin as a precise solar observatory and also built a high-altitude stone causeway for accurate adjustments of their calendar to the solar year. These results underscore how a similar goal, such as adjusting the length of the calendar to the solar year, could be achieved with widely different technologies.
## Abstract
In the hot dry spring of monsoon-driven environments, keeping an accurate calendar to regulate the annual planting of crops is of critical importance. Before the Spanish conquest, the Basin of Mexico had a highly productive farming system able to feed its very large population. However, how they managed to keep their farming dates in synchrony with the solar year is not known. In this paper, we show that the observation of sunrise against the Basins eastern horizon could have provided an accurate solar calendar and that some important sunrise landmarks coincide well with the themes of seasonal festivities described in early codices. We also show that a long stone causeway in the summit of Mount Tlaloc aligns perfectly with the rising sun on February 23 to 24, in coincidence with the Basins new year in the Mexica calendar. Third, we demonstrate that, when viewed from the sacred Mount Tepeyac in the bottom of the Basin, sunrise aligns with Mount Tlaloc also on February 24. The importance of Mount Tlaloc as a calendric landmark seems to be corroborated by illustrations and texts in ancient Mexica codices. Our findings demonstrate that by using carefully developed alignments with the rugged eastern horizon, the inhabitants of the Basin of Mexico were able to adjust their calendar to keep in synchrony with the solar year and successfully plan their corn harvests.
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In 1519, at the time of the arrival of the Spanish invaders to the Basin of Mexico, the people in the region ran a sophisticated system of agriculture that was able to feed its large human population, estimated by different studies between 1 and 3 million ([1](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r1)). Successful farming in central and western Mesoamerica depended critically on the ability to keep an accurate calendar to predict the seasons. Apart from the wet tropics of the coastal plains of the Gulf of Mexico and the Caribbean, all other regions of Mesoamerica, namely the Mexican Altiplano, the Balsas Basin, and the seasonally dry ecosystems of the Pacific slopes of Mexico, share a highly cyclical precipitation pattern with a dry spring followed by a monsoon-type rainy season in summer and early fall. Precipitation-wise, the most unpredictable time of the year is mid-, and in some parts late, spring; the “arid fore-summer” that precedes the arrival of the Mexican monsoon ([Fig. 1](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#fig01) and [*SI Appendix*, Fig. S1](http://www.pnas.org/lookup/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#supplementary-materials)). Planting too early, following the cue of a first haphazard early rain, can be disastrous if the true rainy season does not continue. Waiting to plant late, after the monsoon season has clearly started, can expose the corn field, or *milpa*, to an overly short growing season and will also put the crop under competition from weeds that have already germinated. Wild plants in these highly seasonal ecosystems often have traits that allow them to hedge the risk of a false moisture cue. Annual plants often have heteromorphic seeds, some of which germinate with a single rain pulse while others remain dormant and germinate after successive rainfall events ([2](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r2)). Other plants have lignified seed-retention structures that release seeds gradually into the environment as the dry spring progresses ([3](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r3)). Finally, woody perennials often flower in the dry early spring in response to photoperiod, independently of moisture availability, and shed their seeds in late spring or early summer (MayJune) when the monsoon season is starting ([4](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r4)). In this latter group, the physiological ability to detect the season independently of precipitation cues is critically important to avoid premature germination. Accurate timekeeping must have also been strategically critical for pre-Hispanic farmers, who, in order to be successful, had to prepare the *milpa* fields before the onset of the monsoon rains and plant as early as possible while, at the same time, being able to disregard false early rainfall signals. In the 16th century, Diego Durán ([5](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r5)) noted the importance that the native calendar had for these communities “to know the days in which they had to sow and harvest, till, and cultivate the corn field.” He also noted as “a very remarkable fact” that the Mexica farmers followed strictly the calendrically based instruction of the elders to plant and harvest their fields and would not start their farming activities without their approval.
Fig. 1.
![](https://www.pnas.org/cms/10.1073/pnas.2215615119/asset/fce2081e-164e-4a0b-9a75-522d4c837988/assets/images/large/pnas.2215615119fig01.jpg)
(*A*) Precipitation pattern in the Basin of Mexico. Blue points: monthly means; orange points: monthly modes; blue shaded area: ±1 SE; light blue area: ±1 SD. (*B*) Pearson skewness, a measure of risk from rare extreme events. Note the high skewness of the dry spring months, March to mid-May (data from years 1952 to 2016, Weather station 9020 Pedregal, *Comisión Nacional del Agua*, Mexico).
Because of the calendars importance for societal organization, the early chroniclers of Aztec, or Mexica, civilization, in particular, Bernardino de Sahagún ([6](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r6)) and Diego Durán ([5](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r5)), left behind detailed descriptions of their calendar system. They both underscored the precision of the method used to keep track of seasons and the fact that the Mexica were well aware of the need to adjust their calendar by adding an extra day every four years to the annual count in order to keep the march of the seasons in tune with their calendrical computation. However, other early chroniclers such as Motolinía ([7](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r7)), as well as modern researchers ([8](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r8)[10](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r10)), have doubted that the Mexica could have had a leap-year count system, and the debate continues to this day. Nevertheless, many modern researchers that doubt the existence of a systematic leap-year count concede that the Mexica calendar was not out of phase with seasonal change along the solar year and that some nonsystematic mechanism must have existed for adjusting the calendar system at irregular intervals ([11](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r11)). The renowned Mexican historian Rafael Tena ([12](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r12)) concluded that “this fascinating problem remains unresolved and open to discussion.”
In order to adjust their calendar, the Mexica would have needed to know the position of the sun on particular dates of the solar year, a feat that could have been accomplished only by marking the sunrise (or sunset) bearing relative to a geographic landmark. Many studies have analyzed the alignment of temples and ceremonial centers with the suns azimuthal bearing at sunrise or sunset on culturally relevant dates, so the architectural orientation of major buildings such as the Templo Mayor, and in general the urban design, would reflect important calendar dates ([11](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r11)). This architectural design would have had a great symbolic, ritual, and cultural importance but would have not been the most accurate way of measuring the annual march of time because of parallax error: small shifts in the position of the observer relative to a building or ceremonial structure can project large errors in the distant horizon.
Because Mesoamerican settlements were all located inside the tropics, i.e., south of latitude 23.5°N, the zenithal transition of the sun occurs here twice every year; first, in late May as the suns trajectory in the celestial sphere moves northward toward the summer solstice, and then back in late July, as the suns trajectory returns southward (the exact date of the zenithal transition depends on the latitude of the site). Two settlements south of the Basin of Mexico—Xochicalco and Monte Albán—had specially constructed “zenith tubes;” vertical shafts perforated on the rock or constructed inside large ceremonial buildings that would project direct sunlight onto an observation chamber belowground ([13](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r13), [14](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r14)). The projection of these solar flecks on the ground would have allowed observers to keep track of exact solar dates and, potentially, to use them for calendric adjustments ([15](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r15)[17](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r17)). However, no evidence exists that zenith tubes were ever used in the Basin of Mexico, and many scholars believe that the calendar-keepers of Tenochtitlan directly used the suns position at sunrise against the prominent peaks on the basins mountainous horizon as calendrical landmarks, a “horizon calendar” that provided accurate indicators of specific dates along the solar year ([18](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r18), [19](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r19)).
The use of the landscape as a calendric tool is based on the fact that because of the tilting of the Earth, the point in the horizon from where the sun rises shifts day-to-day along the year ([18](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r18)). In reality, the sun rises due east only during the equinoxes (near March 21 and September 22). In the Northern Hemisphere summer when the North Pole is tilted toward the sun, the sun in the Basin of Mexico will rise north of due east in the celestial horizon, reaching a compass bearing of ca. 65° during the summer solstice. Likewise, in winter, it will rise south of the 90° east bearing, reaching an azimuth of ca. 115° during the winter solstice. The azimuth angle of the sun on the celestial horizon at sunrise is a function of the declination of the Sun from the celestial equator at any given date and the latitude of the observation point ([20](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r20)). If the observer is on a fixed location, say, the Templo Mayor, then latitude is constant and the solar azimuth at sunrise becomes a direct function of the winter-to-summer declination of the sun, which is in turn a function of the date in the solar year. So, by looking at sunrise against a distant mountainous landscape from a fixed point, an observer can keep tab on the days in a year with minimal parallax error.
Landscape features are still often used to mark calendric dates in many traditional villages. Despite modern communications and the standardization of calendric time, many communities still have ceremonies related to planting or harvest that are celebrated when sunrise or sunset is aligned with mountains that act as reference points ([21](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r21)). Using landscape silhouettes in the horizon as a means for keeping count of time and seasons has been so important in the past that some cultures have even built their own calendric reference points to use as a sunrise observatory in flat terrains, like the towers of Chankillo in north coastal Peru, built in the 4th century BCE ([22](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r22)). In the Basin of Mexico, as in many other parts of the Americas, the alignment of the rising sun with mountains seems to have been a common calendric and navigational tool. For example, the *Florentine Codex* ([6](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r6)) (book 11, Eighth Chapter) describes how mineral experts used the alignment of sunrise against surrounding mountains to mark and relocate mineral deposits ([*SI Appendix*, Fig. S2](http://www.pnas.org/lookup/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#supplementary-materials)).
## Goals and Hypotheses
The central hypothesis of this study is that the eastern mountain landscape of the Basin of Mexico played a central role as a tool for adjusting the calendar system to the solar year. Many studies have explored the symbolic and ritual importance of mountains as calendric tools. In contrast, we will concentrate on the ecological and agricultural importance of the Basins landscape as a tool for accurate calendric adjustments. Our study concentrates on the *xiuhpohualli* or “year count,” the solar calendar that regulated the cycles of agriculture ([*SI Appendix*, endnote 2](http://www.pnas.org/lookup/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#supplementary-materials)). We explore four hypotheses: a) The eastern horizon landmarks could have provided a series of reference points that would have allowed the adjustment of the agricultural calendar to the solar year. b) There is evidence in the texts of early chroniclers and codices that the Mexica people were indeed using horizon landmarks to follow the dates of the solar year. c) An ancient construction in the summit of Mount Tlaloc seems to have been used as a fixed solar observatory built for the purpose of calendric adjustments. d) Before the foundation of Tenochtitlan and the establishment of the Aztec dominion in the Basin of Mexico, other large agricultural civilizations that preceded them were also using the Basins mountainous horizon for calendric purposes.
## Results
### Sunrise Alignments.
The mountainous landscape east of the Basin of Mexico offers some important topographic markers that could have been used by Mexica astronomers for calendrical purposes. For example, viewed from the top of the Templo Mayor, sunrise during the winter solstice would have broken at an azimuth of 116°22 and an angular elevation of 3°20 behind Mount Tehuicocone, a prominence on the northern slope the great Iztaccíhuatl volcano and very close to the “head” of the volcanos “sleeping woman” silhouette ([Table 1](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#t01) and [Fig. 2*B*](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#fig02)). During the summer solstice, the sun would have been seen rising behind the settlement of Tepetlaoxtoc, in the foothills of the low Sierra de Patlachique, north-east of Texcoco, with an azimuth of 65°04 and an angular elevation of 10. On March 16 and September 30, the sun would have been seen rising behind the peak of Mount Tlaloc, close to due east, with an azimuth of 93°17 and an angular elevation of 2°51. Finally, on March 1 and October 15, the sun would have been seen rising behind the peak of Mount Telapón with an azimuth of 98°55 and an angular elevation of 2°45 (all dates in this study follow the Gregorian calendar established in 1582, not the Julian Calendar used by early 16th century scholars and chroniclers, which differed at that time by 10 d).
Table 1.
Sunrise alignment dates (Gregorian calendar days) between the three main astronomical observation sites in the Basin of Mexico and seven conspicuous landmarks on the Basins eastern horizon
|   | Observatories | | |
| --- | --- | --- | --- |
| Horizon landmarks | Tepeyac | Templo Mayor | Cuicuilco |
|   | Spring semester (JanJune) | | |
| Tlamacas | 12-Apr | 1-May | |
| Monte Tlaloc | 24-Feb | 16-Mar | 28-Apr |
| Telapon | 7-Feb | 1-Mar | 14-Apr |
| Papayo | 7-Jan | 6-Feb | 24-Mar |
| Iztaccihuatl (head) | | | 20-Feb |
| Iztaccihuatl (peak) | | | 18-Feb |
| Popocatepetl | | | |
|   | Fall semester (JulyDecember) | | |
| Tlamacas | 2-Sep | 14-Aug | |
| Monte Tlaloc | 19-Oct | 30-Sep | 17-Aug |
| Telapon | 5-Nov | 15-Oct | 31-Aug |
| Papayo | 7-Dec | 6-Nov | 21-Sep |
| Iztaccihuatl (head) | | | 23-Oct |
| Iztaccihuatl (peak) | | | 25-Oct |
| Popocatepetl | | | |
Fig. 2.
![](https://www.pnas.org/cms/10.1073/pnas.2215615119/asset/bff76932-5391-4253-9f95-f3ee0aae7780/assets/images/large/pnas.2215615119fig02.jpg)
The eastern horizon of the Basin of Mexico, as viewed from (*A*) Mount Tepeyac, (*B*) Templo Mayor, and (*C*) the pyramid of Cuicuilco. From NE to SE, labels highlight all major horizontal landmarks: Tlamacas (Tm), Mount Tlaloc (Tl), Telapon (Te), Papayo (Pa), Iztaccihuatl (Iz), and Popocatepetl (Po). The simulated solar disks indicate the position of the sun at dawn during the summer solstice (*Left*), equinox (*Center*), and winter solstice (*Right*). Horizon images were obtained using Google Earth©.
Not all these landmark points, however, have the same resolution for the purpose of keeping count of the days in the solar year. The solar azimuth at sunrise will vary at the latitude of the Basin of Mexico from summer to winter forming a wave-like function along the year. The changes in azimuth from one day to the next—i.e., the azimuthal shifts, or difference between the sunrise azimuth one day and that of the previous day—form a similarly shaped function displaced ca. 91 d ([*SI Appendix*, Fig. S3](http://www.pnas.org/lookup/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#supplementary-materials)). During the spring equinox the daily azimuthal shift at sunrise will be 0.418° (25 d1). During the fall equinox the azimuthal shift will be numerically similar but opposite in sign (25 d1). Near the summer and winter solstices, sunrise will seem to stand still for some 10 d, shifting its sunrise azimuth in 2 or less per day and appearing to rise in the horizon from the same spot (hence the name *solsticium* in Latin). The angular size of the suns disk is ca. 31, a value only slightly larger than the daily shift in sunrise azimuth during the equinox (25). This means that an observer seeing the sun rise behind a horizon landmark near the equinox—like, for example, Mount Tlaloc—would see sunrise azimuths shift daily by a value that is 81% as large as the suns apparent diameter. In simple terms, there is only 1 d in the spring and 1 d in the fall in which the sun can be seen rising exactly behind Mount Tlaloc. In contrast, during the solstices, when the sun reaches its maximum declination, the sunrise azimuth varies in less than 2, that is, one-fifteenth of the angular size of the solar disk, an amount that is not perceptible to the naked eye. For a Mexica astronomer following the calendric horizon, during late December and late June, the point of sunrise would seem to stand unchanging for at least 10 d.
It seems, then, reasonable to assume that Mexica astronomers keeping a record of the calendric horizon would have used Mount Tlaloc, the horizontal point of reference nearest to the equinox, as their fundamental tool for calendar counts and calendric adjustments, because this landmark would have given them maximum calendric precision. Following this approach, the number of days in a year could be counted from the day that the sun rises behind Mount Tlaloc in spring to the next springtime sunrise behind Mount Tlaloc. The count would be 365 d: the 18 Mexica “months” of 20 d each plus the 5 *nemontemi*, or “useless” days, at the end of the year. But anyone keeping count of days this way would observe a gradual displacement of the suns sunrise position because the true length of the solar year is closer to 365.2422 d. After four years, adding an extra *nemontemi* day to adjust the day count to the horizon calendar would have been necessary in order to keep the sun rising behind the peak of Mount Tlaloc for the same day of the year. This hypothesized adjustment using the distant horizon, however, is only possible, as discussed above, if a landmark point near the equinox is used for the calendric adjustments, so that the precise day of the year can be identified without error.
### Corroborating Evidence: The Florentine Codex.
According to Sahagúns 1575 description ([6](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r6)), the new year in the Basin of Mexico started on February 2 of the Julian Calendar in use at that time, which translates to February 12 of our current Gregorian calendar. However, comparing dates of historical events between 1519 and 1521 that were recorded both in Mexica codices and in Spanish chronicles, Tena ([23](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r23)) estimated that at the time of the arrival of the first Europeans to Mexico, the first month of the Mexica calendar, *Atlcahualo*, began on February 13 of the Julian calendar or February 23 of the Gregorian calendar. In later papers ([12](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r12), [24](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r24)), Tena added three more days to compensate for the suppression of leap days in the secular years of 1700, 1800, and 1900, arguing that the Mexica calendar year started on February 26. Although his recent correction might be relevant to convert modern dates into the Mexica calendar, it seems clear that in the 16th Century, when the Gregorian calendar was established, the Mexica year started on February 23.
Following Tenas chronography, viewed from the Templo Mayor sunrise aligned with Mount Tlaloc 5 d before the equinox, at the end of *Atlcahualo*. In his description of the Mexica calendar, Sahagún ([6](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r6)) noted that on *Atlcahualo* the Mexica “celebrated a feast \[…\] to the Tlaloc gods, whom they held to be gods of rain.” The tributes to Tlaloc continued during the dry fore-summer: Sahagún also narrates that at the beginning of the third month—*Tozoztontli* ca. April 4—“a feast was made to a god called Tlaloc, who is the god of rains.” The clear association between Tlaloc, the equinox, and the dry springtime supports the assumption that sunrise behind Mount Tlaloc, viewed from Tenochtitlan, marked the highpoint of Mesoamericas premonsoon dry spring and led the people of the Basin to plead to Tlaloc for the arrival of the rains.
Similarly, according to Tenas chronography, the summer solstice took place toward the end of the sixth month, called *Etzalqualiztli*. At that time, sunrise would have seemed to stand still at an azimuth of ca. 65°. Viewed from the top of the Templo Mayor, sunrise would have taken place behind Tepetlaoxtoc, in the western foothills of the Sierra de Patlachique, across the briny waters of Lake Texcoco where the Basins saltworks were ([25](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r25)[27](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r27)). In coincidence, the first day of the seventh month, called *Tecuilhuitontli*, was devoted to a celebration in honor of *Huixtocihuatl*, the goddess of salt. Close to the summer solstice bearing, further east from the salty lakeshores, there were fertile agricultural terraces with cultivated *milpas*, or cornfields. Sahagún noted that in the eighth month, called *Huey Tecuilhuitl*, the goddess of fresh corn, *Xilonen*, or *Chicomecoatl*, was also celebrated. It does not seem coincidental that the name of Chiconcuac, a settlement found along this summer sunrise view, is derived from the name of this goddess.
The winter solstice occurred close to the beginning of the 16th month, *Atemoztli*, a time in which sunrise seems to stand still at its southernmost azimuth of ca. 116°, on the northern slope of the Iztaccíhuatl volcano, the “sleeping woman” (the name Iztaccíhuatl in Nahuatl means “white woman,” in allusion to the snow-covered silhouette as seen from the Templo Mayor). According to Sahagún, the beginning of the following month, called *Tititl*, was devoted to celebrating *Ilama Tecuhtli* (the Great Lady), also known as *Tona* (Our Mother). The correlation between sunrise close to the woman-like volcano and the celebration of womanhood in general is striking.
In summary, there seems to be a noteworthy association between some elements of the horizon calendar and the feasts and celebrations of each season: the arid spring equinox, when the sun rises behind Mount Tlaloc, was associated with Tlaloc, the god of water and rain. The summer solstice, when sunrise occurs behind the distant salty shores of Lake Texcoco, was associated with salt and summer corn. Finally, the winter equinox, when the sun rises at the side of Iztaccihuatl, the sleeping woman, was associated with womanhood and female gods.
### The Causeway of Mount Tlaloc.
The previous analysis suggests a correlation between the Mexica calendar and the topographic elements of the Basins eastern horizon but leaves an important question unanswered, namely that of the calendric role of Mount Tlaloc. It seems very clear that the horizon calendar, as viewed from Tenochtitlans Templo Mayor, should have relied strongly on the date of the sun rising behind Mount Tlaloc, as this mountain could have provided, better than any other, the accuracy needed for the precise estimation of the length of the solar year and for leap year adjustments. However, none of the 16th century codices and manuscripts consulted for this study describe this phenomenon in a direct and clear manner, other than a general mention in Sahagún that at the beginning of the third month, close to the alignment date of sunrise with Mount Tlaloc, a feast was made to Tlaloc, the god of rains. If the alignment of sunrise with Mount Tlaloc was indeed an important calendric landmark when viewed from Templo Mayor, a clear mention could have been expected in the ancient codices, including the question of why did the Mexica not use the Mount Tlaloc alignment to mark the beginning of the new year. The answer to this paradox may lie in the ruins of the ceremonial center found at Mount Tlalocs peak.
The summit of Mount Tlaloc is crowned by a rectangular walled enclosure about 40 m eastwest by 50 m northsouth ([Figs. 3*A*](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#fig03) and [4](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#fig04)). This courtyard, or *tetzacualo*, consists of stone walls that have been estimated to have been 2 to 3 m high when originally built, with a ca. 94° east-west azimuth ([28](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r28), [29](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r29)). The eastern side of the precinct opens to a 150 m-long, ca. 6 m-wide, walled straight causeway that has an azimuthal bearing of 101°55, offset more than 8°southward from the roughly eastwest bearing of the enclosure ([Fig. 3*B*](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#fig03)). Because the causeway runs downslope on the western side of the peak, some researchers have wondered whether the causeway was intentionally misaligned with the axis of the enclosure in order to accommodate a particular orientation to the setting sun ([30](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r30), [31](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r31)).
Fig. 3.
![](https://www.pnas.org/cms/10.1073/pnas.2215615119/asset/9f5511b0-9be8-4d82-a3f6-bdabc1ac17c7/assets/images/large/pnas.2215615119fig03.jpg)
(*A*) The Mount Tlaloc square courtyard (*tetzacualo*) and stone causeway, photographed using a drone on February 24, 2022. (*B*) Downslope view of the causeway from the *tetzacualo* toward the Basin of Mexico, with Mount Tepeyac indicated (not clearly visible otherwise in the smog of Mexico City). (*C*) Upslope view of sunrise from the base of the causeway toward the *tetzacualo* on February 25, 2022, at 7:20 h Mexico City time (GMT-6). (*D*) Sunrise viewed from Mount Tepeyac on February 26, 2022, at 7:10 h. Note that, because the alignment date was 2 d earlier, the rising sun is displaced ca. 1° north of the peak of Mount Tlaloc, visible in the distance. Photo credits: Ben Fiscella Meissner.
Fig. 4.
![](https://www.pnas.org/cms/10.1073/pnas.2215615119/asset/cf51958f-b311-420f-b7a1-f215679d212a/assets/images/large/pnas.2215615119fig04.jpg)
(*A*) The Mount Tlaloc square courtyard (*tetzacualo*) and stone causeway, vertical projection elaborated from a drone digital image. The stone circle in the upper causeway (S) and the rock platform where Tlalocs monolith stood (T), visible in the drone image, together with the dugout well (W), are marked for reference. (*B*) An elevation plan, or longitudinal section, along the main axis of the causeway, shows the angular elevation of the celestial bearing. (*C*) Upslope view along the causeway, showing the alignment of Tlalocs monolith in the courtyard with the center of the stone circle in the upper causeway and the existing stone marker in the entrance below.
If viewed upslope, the azimuthal bearing of Mount Tlalocs causeway (101°55) and the angular elevation of 4°02 above the celestial horizon (allowing for the height of the viewers eyes) defines a point in the celestial sphere that aligns with the suns apparent position on February 23 to 24 each year. That is, an observer standing at the lower end of the causeway will see the rising sun appear in the center of the upper part of the stone ramp on February 23 or 24, after the last *nemontemi* day and in synchrony with the beginning of Basins new year as defined by Tenas first chronology ([Fig. 3*C*](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#fig03) and [*SI Appendix*, Figs. S4 and S5](http://www.pnas.org/lookup/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#supplementary-materials)). The causeway seems to have been constructed as a calendric solar marker with a celestial bearing that allows for leap-year adjustments and indicates the end of the year and the beginning of a new solar year. The idea that the structure was used for precise astronomical observations is further reinforced by the fact that it seems to have had specific sight markers to avoid parallax error. Wicke and Horcasitas ([32](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r32)) described that the causeway had a stone circle in its upper end where, presumably, a monolith could have stood. Correspondingly, it still has a stone square with an erect, 40-cm monolith in its lower end. Jointly, they could have been used as alignment markers (similar to the iron sights of a gun) to further improve alignment accuracy. Almost a century ago, Rickards ([33](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r33)) described the presence of a monolith with the figure of Tlaloc in the center of the *tetzacualo* and aligned with the causeway, as had been described earlier by Durán ([5](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r5)). Although the figure has been removed since ([31](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r31)), it could have functioned as yet another element for precise solar alignments ([Fig. 4](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#fig04)).
The importance of Mount Tlaloc as a solar observatory is enhanced by the fact that the two largest peaks of the Mexican Transversal Volcanic Axis east of the Basin of Mexico are visible from its peak and almost perfectly aligned. Viewed from the center of the stone courtyard, the nearest peak, Matlalcuéyetl or Malinche (19°13.70, 98°01.94) has an azimuth of 105°52.7 while Citlaltépetl or Pico de Orizaba (19°01.78, 97°16.15) has an azimuth 105°26.5. Because the azimuthal difference between the two peaks is less than the angular width of the suns disk, viewed at dawn they will seem like a single mountain with two close crests, where sunrise would be seen on February 10. In short, the causeway in Mount Tlaloc marks very precisely the beginning of the Mexica solar year, but the summit courtyard could have been used to identify a precise alignment 15 d before the beginning of the year, during *Izcalli*—the last month of the Mexica calendar.
Ceramic fragments are common in and around the enclosure, and these fragments have been collected by archeologists and dated to the Mesoamerican Classical Period, early Toltec, and Mexica, suggesting that the site was used for ceremonies from the beginning of the Common Era to the collapse of the Mexica Empire in the 16th century ([34](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r34), [35](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r35)). Although the constructions have not been dated with precision, early chroniclers reported that the sanctuary in Mount Tlaloc was used by the Toltecs before the 7th century CE ([36](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r36)) and by the Chichimecs in the 12th century, before the arrival of the Aztecs to the Basin ([37](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r37)). It seems likely, then, that the astronomical use and significance of the Mount Tlaloc causeway, and hence the beginning of the Mesoamerican calendar, preceded the founding of Tenochtitlan and the development of the Mexica civilization.
### Solar Alignment with Tepeyac.
Broda ([21](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r21)) noted that the causeway of Mount Tlaloc points toward Mount Tepeyac, a hill that emerges from the Basins sediments south of the Sierra de Guadalupe, a range of basaltic mountains in the center of the Basin of Mexico. Indeed, when viewed from Tepeyac, Mount Tlaloc has an azimuth of 100°54, very close to the bearing of the causeway on Tlalocs peak and an elevation of 2°38 ([Fig. 2*A*](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#fig02)). Mount Tepeyac (2,280 m) is the southernmost hill of the Sierra de Guadalupe, only 4 km northeast and 7 km east of the pre-Hispanic settlements of Tlatelolco and Azcapotzalco. According to Sahagún ([6](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r6)), the hill had been a place of worship and pilgrimage for the inhabitants of the Basin long before the Spanish Conquest.
Brodas observation suggests a visual alignment of calendric importance may have existed between the Tepeyac ranges and Mount Tlaloc. Indeed, sunrise alignment with Mount Tlaloc occurs on February 24 (Gregorian date) if viewed from Mount Tepeyac. Like the alignment in the summits causeway, the Mount Tepeyac solar alignment date corresponds with that of the causeway and also heralds the beginning of Tenas new year ([Fig. 3*D*](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#fig03)). It can be hypothesized, then, that before the Mexica built the Templo Mayor, the inhabitants of the Basin of Mexico were using the alignment between Tepeyac and Mount Tlaloc as a fundamental landmark in their horizon calendar. They could have adjusted with precision their agricultural calendar to the solar year based on the sunrise alignment between Mount Tlaloc and Tepeyac.
### Earlier Alignments of Calendric Significance.
Agriculture was already well established in the Basin of Mexico by the first millennium BCE, largely around the Pre-classic Cuicuilco culture in the southwest of the Basin. The Cuicuilco civilization collapsed in the 3rd century CE when the Xitle volcano became active and covered the whole south of the Basin under a mantle of lava ([38](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r38)). Broda ([19](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r19)) has analyzed the horizon calendar as viewed from the main pyramid of Cuicuilco, built ca. 600 BCE, almost nine centuries before the apogee of the Mexica Empire. She concluded that the sunrise alignment with Mount Papayo (azimuth 89.18° when viewed from Cuicuilco) on March 24, close to the equinox, “could have constituted a simple and effective mechanism to adjust for the true length of the solar year, which needed a correction of 1 d every 4 y.” Brodas studies on Cuicuilco provide strong evidence suggesting that rigorous calendric calculations and leap-year adjustments were at the heart of the development of Mesoamerican agricultural civilizations from very early times and were certainly very important in pre-Classical settlements. In addition to the equinoctial alignment of sunrise with Mount Papayo, the Cuicuilco observatory would have provided good calendric alignments with Mount Telapon (April 14) and with the “head” of the “sleeping woman” profile of the Iztaccihuatl volcano (February 20). The latter date is very close to Tenas estimate for the beginning of the Mexica calendric year and, because of Iztaccihuatls majestic proportions when viewed from the south of the Basin, could also have constituted an important landmark for calendric adjustments ([Fig. 2*C*](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#fig02)).
## Discussion and Conclusions
Many early codices seem to validate the working hypothesis that Mount Tlaloc was instrumental in the establishment of the date of the Basins new year and in the adjustments necessary to keep the agricultural calendar in synchrony with the solar year. As discussed previously, Sahagún ([6](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r6)) described how *Atlcahualo*, the first month of the year, was devoted to celebrate the *Tlaloc* gods of rain. Similarly, in Durans ([5](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r5)) description of the *nemontemi* days, he reported that the year ended when a sign of the first day of the new year became visible above a mountain peak ([*SI Appendix*, Fig. S6](http://www.pnas.org/lookup/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#supplementary-materials)), suggesting the use of a landmark alignment to indicate the beginning of the new year. Similar associations between Mount Tlaloc and the first day of the new year are shown in other ancient codices, such as Codex Tovar, Codex Borbonicus, and the Wheel of Boban ([*SI Appendix*, Figs. S7S9](http://www.pnas.org/lookup/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#supplementary-materials)). The narrow historical relationship between the first month Atlcahualo and Mount Tlaloc has been recently described in detail by Broda ([39](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r39)).
From an ecological perspective, it seems clear that the rugged eastern horizon of the Basin provided precise landmarks that would have allowed to adjust the *xiuhpohualli*, the count of the years, with the true solar calendar. Sahagúns description of the feasts and ceremonies associated with some of the Mexica “months,” or 20-d periods, coincides well with themes from landmarks visible in the sunrise horizon from the Templo Mayor. Because of its position near the equinox, when viewed from the center of the Basin, Mount Tlaloc seems to have played a very important calendric role. The long causeway at the summit strongly suggests that the ceremonial structure was used as a solar landmark, aligning very precisely with the rising sun on February 23 to 24 and October 19 to 20. The same alignment is found if Mount Tlaloc is viewed from Mount Tepeyac, a holy site whose use as a sacred mount and solar observation post preceded the establishment of the Mexica civilization in the Basin.
These results confirm that, even without the celestial instruments used by Europeans at the time of their arrival (e.g., gnomon, compass, quadrant, and astrolabe), the people in the Basin of Mexico could maintain an extremely precise calendar that would have allowed for leap-year adjustments simply by using systematic observations of sunrise against the eastern mountains of the Basin of Mexico.
## Methods
### Calculation of Azimuths and Elevations.
Coordinates for each site (latitude, longitude, and altitude) were obtained from georeferenced satellite images in Google Earth Pro©. These values were then validated against Mexico's National Institute of Statistics, Geography and Informatics (INEGI) digital topographic charts on a scale of 1:20,000 ([https://www.inegi.org.mx/temas/topografia/](https://www.inegi.org.mx/temas/topografia/)) and against our own global positioning system (GPS) field readings ([*SI Appendix*, Table S1](http://www.pnas.org/lookup/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#supplementary-materials)). Altitude estimations were validated by comparing specific points with NASAs Ice, Cloud, and land Elevation Satellite (ICESat) data on the OpenAltimetry website ([https://openaltimetry.org/](https://openaltimetry.org/)). Spherical trigonometry formulae ([40](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r40)) were used to calculate haversine distance, azimuthal bearing, and angular elevation between pairs of points given the latitude, longitude, and altitude of each point ([*SI Appendix*, Table S2](http://www.pnas.org/lookup/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#supplementary-materials)). The calculations were also validated by comparing them with published archeo-astronomic tables by Šprajc ([29](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r29)).
### Astronomical Modeling.
To calculate the position of the sun at any specific day and time, all dates were first converted to Julian Day numbers, a continuous count of days from the beginning of year 4712. The solar coordinates for each specific time were calculated using standard astronomical algorithms ([41](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r41), [42](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r42)), including a) the equation of Kepler (eccentric anomaly), b) solar longitude (corrected by the gravitational influence of the moon and planets), c) eccentricity of the Earths orbit, d) relative distance to the sun, e) obliquity of the elliptic, f) equation of time, and g) solar declination. Solar angular elevation values were corrected for atmospheric refraction ([43](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#r43)), assuming a mean atmospheric pressure of 76 kPa and an air temperature at sunrise of 10 °C. Finally, using spherical trigonometry, solar coordinates were converted to local azimuth and elevation coordinates for a specific site on the Earths surface. Simulating the position of the sun every second of the day and knowing the elevation of the landscape horizon above the celestial horizon, the time and azimuth of sunrise were calculated for each day of the year. The calculations were programmed in 64-bit Quick-Basic language (QB64; [https://qb64.com/](https://qb64.com/)) and compiled as a stand-alone executable program file for faster processing times. The results of our simulations were checked against NOAAs Solar Position Calculator ([https://gml.noaa.gov/grad/solcalc/](https://gml.noaa.gov/grad/solcalc/)) to ensure that our results are robust and validate the model.
### Field Validation.
The predictions of the astronomical model were corroborated with field observations. On February 24, 2022, we ascended Mount Tlaloc, camped close to the peak, and climbed to the summit to explore the ancient ceremonial structure. The following day, we ascended the peak once again in the early morning, while still dark, to test the alignment of the rising sun with the stone-walled causeway. We also took ground-level and aerial drone images of the ruins. On the morning of February 26, we visited the sanctuary of Mount Tepeyac at dawn to confirm the alignment of sunrise ca. 1° north of Mount Tlaloc.
## Data, Materials, and Software Availability
All study data are included in the article and/or [*SI Appendix*](http://www.pnas.org/lookup/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#supplementary-materials).
## Acknowledgments
E.E. thanks Irene Pisanty and Marisa Mazari, with whom he has maintained for years fruitful discussions and collaborations on the fascinating environmental history of the Basin of Mexico, and Gerardo Bocco for insightful ideas. We want to thank Bárbara Córcega for her logistic and financial support to the Mount Tlaloc expedition. This paper is a result of a sabbatical leave granted to E.E. by the University of California, Riverside, to study the ecology of pre-Hispanic agriculture in Mesoamerica.
### Author contributions
E.E. designed research; E.E., P.E., and B.M. performed research; E.E. and B.M. contributed new reagents/analytic tools; E.E. analyzed data; and E.E. and P.E. wrote the paper.
### Competing interests
The authors declare no competing interest.
## Supporting Information
- [Download](https://www.pnas.org/doi/suppl/10.1073/pnas.2215615119/suppl_file/pnas.2215615119.sapp.pdf)
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G. K. Kruell, Revisión histórica del “bisiesto náhuatl”: En memoria de Michel Graulich. *Trace (Travaux et Recherches dans les Amériques du Centre)* ****75****, 155187 (2019).
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A. F. Aveni, E. E. Calnek, H. Hartung, Myth, environment, and the orientation of the Templo mayor of Tenochtitlan. *Am. Antiq.* ****53****, 287309 (1988).
12
R. Tena, El calendario mesoamericano. *Arqueología Mexicana* ****41****, 411 (2000).
13
A. F. Aveni, H. Hartung, The observation of the sun at the time of passage through the zenith in Mesoamerica. *J. Hist. Astron. Archaeoastronomy Suppl.* ****12****, S51S70 (1981).
14
J. Broda, Astronomy, cosmovisión, and ideology in Pre-Hispanic Mesoamerica. *Ann. N. Y. Acad. Sci.* ****385****, 81110 (1982).
15
R. B. Morante-López, Los observatorios subterráneos. *La Palabra y el Hombre (Univ. Veracruzana)* ****94****, 3571 (1995).
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R. B. Morante-López, Los calendarios de Xochicalco, Morelos. *Anales de Antropología* ****53****, 135149 (2019).
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R. B. Morante-López, Xochicalco y la corrección calendárica en Mesoamérica. *Arqueología Mexicana* ****27****, 6873 (2020).
18
J. A. Belmonte, “Solar alignments-Identification and analysis” in *Handbook of Archaeoastronomy and Ethnoastronomy*, C. L. N. Ruggles, Ed. (Springer, New York, 2015), pp. 483492.
19
J. Broda, “Astronomía y paisaje ritual: El calendario de horizonte de Cuicuilco-Zacatepetl” in *La montaña en el paisaje ritual*, J. Broda, S. Iwaniszewski, A. Montera, Eds. (INAH, Mexico, 2001), pp. 173199.
21
J. Broda, “Cosmovisión y observación de la naturaleza: El ejemplo del culto de los cerros en Mesoamérica” in *Arqueoastronomía y Etnoastronomía en Mesoamérica*, J. Broda, S. Iwaniszewski, L. Maupomé, Eds. (UNAM, México, 1991), pp. 461500.
22
I. Ghezzi, C. Ruggles, Chankillo: A 2300-year-old solar observatory in Coastal Peru. *Science* ****315****, 12391243 (2007).
23
R. Tena, *El calendario mexica y la cronografía* (Colección Científica, INAH, Mexico, 1987), p. 129.
24
R. Tena, El calendario mexica y la cronografía (INAH, Mexico, 2ª. Edición, 2008), p. 128.
25
J. R. Parsons, Una etnografía arqueológica de la producción tradicional de sal en Nequixpayac. Estado de México. *Arqueología (Segunda Época)* ****2****, 6980 (1989).
26
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27
J. R. Parsons, “Tequesquite and ahuauhtle: Rethinking the prehispanic productivity of Lake Texcoco-Xaltocan-Zumpango” in *Arqueología mesoamericana: Homenaje a William T. Sanders*, A. G. Mastache, J. R. Parsons, R. S. Santley, M.C. Serra, Eds. (INAH/Arqueología Mexicana, Mexico, 1996), pp. 439459.
28
S. Iwaniszewski, Archaeology and archaeoastronomy of mount Tlaloc, Mexico: A reconsideration. *Lat. Am. Antiq.* ****5****, 158176 (1994).
29
I. Šprajc, *Orientaciones astronómicas en la arquitectura prehispánica del centro de México* (Colección Científica, INAH, México, 2001), p. 460.
30
J. Broda, “The sacred landscape of aztec calendar festivals: Myth, nature, and society” in *To Change Place: Aztec Ceremonial Landscapes*, D. Carrasco, Ed. (University Press of Colorado, Niwot, 1991), pp. 74120.
31
A. F. Aveni, *Skywatchers* (University of Texas Press, Austin, 2001), p. 512.
32
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33
C. G. Rickards, The ruins of Tlaloc, State of México. *J. de la Societé des Américanistes de Paris* ****21****, 197199 (1929).
34
O. R. Murillo-Soto, “Antecedentes históricos y arqueológicos del Monte Tláloc, Estado de México” in *Páginas en la nieve: Estudios sobre la montaña en México*, M. Loera-Chávez, S. Iwaniszewski, R. Cabrera, Eds. (INAH, Mexico, 2007), pp. 6182.
35
R. F. Townsend, “The Mount Tlaloc project” in *To Change Place: Aztec Ceremonial Landscapes*, D. Carrasco, Ed. (University Press of Colorado, Niwot, 1991), pp. 2630.
36
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37
F. de Alva Ixtlilxóchitl, *Obras Históricas. Tomo I.* (Secretaría de Fomento, México, printed edition of a 16th century manuscript, 1892), p. 455.
38
C. Siebe, Age and archaeological implications of Xitle volcano, southwestern Basin of Mexico City. *J. Volcanol. Geotherm. Res.* ****104****, 4564 (2000).
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40
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41
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42
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43
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## Information & Authors
### Information
#### Published in
[![Go to Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences](https://www.pnas.org/cms/asset/df8008f7-7e9e-4357-8990-e5c0f6bd0158/pnas.2022.119.issue-51.largecover.png)](https://www.pnas.org/toc/pnas/119/51 "Go to Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences")
Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences
Vol. 119 | No. 51
December 20, 2022
#### Classifications
1. [Social Sciences](https://www.pnas.org/topic/soc-sci)
2. [Environmental Sciences](https://www.pnas.org/topic/env-sci-soc)
#### Copyright
#### Data, Materials, and Software Availability
All study data are included in the article and/or [*SI Appendix*](http://www.pnas.org/lookup/doi/10.1073/pnas.2215615119#supplementary-materials).
#### Submission history
**Received**: September 12, 2022
**Accepted**: November 11, 2022
**Published online**: December 12, 2022
**Published in issue**: December 20, 2022
#### Keywords
1. [Basin of Mexico](https://www.pnas.org/action/doSearch?AllField=Basin+of+Mexico&stemming=yes&publication=pnas)
2. [Mesoamerican calendar](https://www.pnas.org/action/doSearch?AllField=Mesoamerican+calendar&stemming=yes&publication=pnas)
3. [pre-Hispanic farming](https://www.pnas.org/action/doSearch?AllField=pre-Hispanic+farming&stemming=yes&publication=pnas)
4. [Mount Tlaloc](https://www.pnas.org/action/doSearch?AllField=Mount+Tlaloc&stemming=yes&publication=pnas)
#### Acknowledgments
E.E. thanks Irene Pisanty and Marisa Mazari, with whom he has maintained for years fruitful discussions and collaborations on the fascinating environmental history of the Basin of Mexico, and Gerardo Bocco for insightful ideas. We want to thank Bárbara Córcega for her logistic and financial support to the Mount Tlaloc expedition. This paper is a result of a sabbatical leave granted to E.E. by the University of California, Riverside, to study the ecology of pre-Hispanic agriculture in Mesoamerica.
##### Author Contributions
E.E. designed research; E.E., P.E., and B.M. performed research; E.E. and B.M. contributed new reagents/analytic tools; E.E. analyzed data; and E.E. and P.E. wrote the paper.
##### Competing Interests
The authors declare no competing interest.
#### Notes
This article is a PNAS Direct Submission.
### Authors
#### Affiliations
Department of Botany and Plant Sciences, University of California Riverside, Riverside, CA 92521-0147
Climate Science Alliance, San Diego, CA 92169
Independent Filmmaker/Photographer, Sioux Falls, SD 57104
#### Notes
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# Andrew OHagan · Off His Royal Tits: On Prince Harry · LRB 2 February 2023
Penguins are super-parents. When the female provides dinner she doesnt just reach for the pesto but launches herself into the treacherous, icy depths, returning with a stomach full of half-digested fish to be spewed down the gullet of her needy chick, His Fluffy Eminence, who is then installed in a creche so protective it makes the average nursery look like the workhouse in *Oliver Twist*. Yet, even for penguins, rejection comes: after the winter huddling and the pre-fledge commutes, the deep dives and the exhausting feeds, the mother will waddle off across the tundra, never to be seen by her children again. Abandonment, we understand, is not the deranging catastrophe that wrecks the childs system of trust, but the crowning achievement of good parenting.
Humans tend to take the whole waddling away thing quite badly. When a child feels abandoned, D.W. Winnicott writes in *The Child, the Family and the Outside World,* he
> becomes unable to play, and unable to be affectionate or to accept affection. Along with this, as is well known, there can be compulsive erotic activities. The stealing of deprived children who are recovering can be said to be part of the search for the transitional object, which had been lost through the death or fading of the internalised version of the mother.
We cant be sure of the effect of the lost mother on the king penguin, but we can be in no doubt that it matters greatly to Englands royal family. In his essay The Place of the Monarchy, Winnicott helps us gain traction on the problem: It is in the personal inner psychic reality that the thing is destroyed, he writes. And later:
> Whereas a monarchy can be founded on a thousand years of history, it could be destroyed in a day. It could be destroyed by false theory or by irresponsible journalism. It could be laughed out of existence by those who only see a fairy story or who see a ballet or a play when really they are looking at an aspect of life itself.
Prince Harrys mother died when he was twelve years old, and his search for the transitional object has been messed up ever since. In Tom Bradbys interview with him for ITV, after Harry describes the crash in Paris he immediately speaks of not wanting the same thing to happen to his wife. Shooting, shooting, shooting, is the way this ex-soldier describes the actions of the paparazzi that night. He has always believed that Diana was murdered by careless journalists pursuing her for personal profit, and he wants to get rid of these death-eaters before they get anywhere near his wife and children. Journalism for him is a profession opposed to truth. This seems so obvious to him that it acts as a gateway drug to everything else he believes. The art of biography appears to the prince to be a pane of clear glass through which the truth will finally be revealed to the reader. So here it comes: *The Corrections* by Harry Windsor, a postmodern social novel in which the author will confront the twisted evils that harass civilisation and be a living antidote to the poison spread by the *Daily Mail*. Its an impressive scheme of outrage. Harrys truth is a cartoon strip of saucy entertainments and shouty jeremiads masquerading as a critique of the establishment, and it simply couldnt be more riveting. His truth my truth is much better written than the *Mail*, though guddling in the same sad bogs on the same dark heaths of human experience. Really funny, though. We find him losing his virginity to a horsey woman round the back of a pub. We find him staying up half the night at Eton smoking smuggled-in weed. One time, he takes acid and is so off his royal tits he thinks hes having a chat with a toilet seat. Another time, his cock nearly drops off at the South Pole when it gets frostbitten. He gets decked by his brother and falls onto a dog bowl, but doesnt punch him back. Truth is everywhere. Truth is relentless. Truth is a noisy neighbour who just swallowed four disco biscuits and dragged his sound system into the garden for a bit of a social. Whats not to like?
In a world of royal enchantment, competitive PR, national myth-making and pure lies, the truth if played loud enough can seem like a human right eclipsing all others, and Harry has worked himself up to the point where truth is life and life is truth. (Hes been in California for a while. Hell get over it when the tax bill arrives.) The mantra comes towards you waving glow sticks. Harry will allow no contradiction and no variance Recollections may vary, the late queen said and only when his wider family shows that it deeply appreciates the truth of what hes gone through will reconciliation be possible. Harry says, in his Montecito meets TikTok kind of way, that forgiveness is 100 per cent a possibility, and that hes open to helping the royal family understand its own unconscious bias. It must be quite annoying, if youre them. You dont have to be Baudrillard to feel that Harrys idea of the truth is simplistic, and that hes become a bit of a fundamentalist: anything that isnt my truth is automatically part of the big lie. Harry has set out to convince the world that his family are professional liars, with one or two saving graces, such as heavenly anointment. And hes not wrong.
Diana died in the full glare of the cameras, and Harry and his brother were forced to mourn her in that same light, an experience believed, in the popular mind, to be something that would bind them together for ever. It actually served to cast them out of each others sphere as they searched separately for their mother. Their father, a cultured, adult man in a permanent foetal crouch, couldnt comfort them or share their feelings or join them in trying to alter the future.
> Pa and I mostly coexisted. He had trouble communicating, trouble listening, trouble being intimate face to face. On occasion, after a long multi-course dinner, Id walk upstairs and find a letter on my pillow. The letter would say how proud he was of me for something Id done or accomplished. Id smile, place it under my pillow, but also wonder why he hadnt said this moments ago, while seated directly across from me … Pa confessed around this time that hed been persecuted as a boy … I remember him murmuring ominously: *I nearly didnt survive.* How had he? Head down, clutching his teddy bear, which he still owned years later. Teddy went everywhere with Pa.
In this fierce toboggan ride of a book, Harry never says that his mother is dead, only that she has disappeared. Photographs, images, pieces in the press, the proofs of his and his familys specialness, are what obsess him and drive him into a spiral of confusion as he fights for control of his life. I would say, right off, that when a mother dies so publicly and so violently, the fight is likely to be with the sibling. Nobody actually shares their parent thats just an illusion and even the healthiest of brothers are parrying with wooden swords. Each child wants to go back, fighting off all monsters, all observers and opportunists, all lovers and all brothers, to be alone with her again.
There has never been a book like this, with its parcelling out of epic, one-sided truths. Most royal biographies, even the lively ones his mothers, his fathers, poor old Crawfies were made airless by vapid writing, spurious genuflections before royal protocol, cringing vanity masquerading as public service. Harry does much less of that. He goes in for a Las Vegas-style treatment of the royal problem, with multiple sets, many costumes and guest appearances by everybody from Carl Jung to Elton John. There are overshared war experiences, bouts of snotty complaining, daddy issues, mummy issues, brother issues, bedroom-size issues, whose-palace-is-it-anyway issues, arguments about tiaras, Kate Middleton issues and todger-nearly-dropping-off-in-Harley-Street issues. Harry notarises his pees, his poos, his sweat and his bonks. He reveals the duff present his auntie Margaret gave him for Christmas (I was conversant with the general contours of her sad life). He calls his brother bald. He has trouble showing affection without its being excessive (he hugs his therapist after one session, FedEx-ing the transference before session three) and barely introduces a person into the narrative before shortening their name and making them a legend. So, we have Chels, Cress, Euge and other colourfully abbreviated lives. Harry wants to love. He wants purpose. Hes nobodys spare. He can never quite say it out loud, and neither could his aunt Margaret, but hes pissed about being number two, and he takes all the unfairness and makes of it a Molotov cocktail. Take that, Camilla! Take that, courtiers and royal correspondents! Take that, Pa, from your darling boy! You cant help agreeing with him half the time; the other half is spent worrying how hell ever make it through his life, as he mistakes his need to end his pain with the need for a global reset.
Prince Harry has never read a book in his life, so his ghost writer, J.R. Moehringer, invites a round of applause every time he goes all Sartre or Faulkner. The latter provides this volumes epigraph, The past is never dead. Its not even past, which Harry reveals he found on some brainy quote site on the web (Who the *fook* is Faulkner? And hows he related to us Windsors?). Its quite thrilling, Harry as existentialist philosopher, and I was especially pleased with his Heidegger-like handling of the principal problems of time. Could there really be Nothing after this? the homework-shy scrum-half writes. Does consciousness, like time, have a stop? Such thoughts bring him closer to his mother. Thinking Harry is now surrounded by the postcolonial writers we saw on his Netflix series, who are pushing him to enact his fantasy of being a standard-bearer for reformed racists turned brand ambassadors for what is right, what is fair and being Really Sorry about the Past.
He has every right to be angry. People have been falling over themselves to say what a decent cove the king is, but what father despite a lifetime of kowtowing to his own reality-strapped, unfeeling parents would tell his 12-year-old in the middle of the night that his mother was dead, then leave him on his own in the bedroom until morning? What sort of father would make his boys march behind their mothers coffin surrounded by people holding up cameras? Harry might live in a universe of grievances, but none of his family seems able to hug him, to placate him, to come to his side when the press is especially vile, and the combination of these things has been explosive. The queen stuck to tradition. She wouldnt let William wear his army uniform on his wedding day. When Harry told her, alone by the tailgate of a Range Rover on the Sandringham estate, that he intended to marry Meghan Markle, she dubiously gave her assent, but didnt embrace him or shake his hand, and I think this gives you the measure of the family. He had to beg her to let him keep his beard for his wedding, though this was a break with tradition. William disapproved, in a way that makes you worry how hes going to make it through *his* life.
Standing before his mothers flag-draped coffin, the photogenic young stoic asked himself a question. Is Mummy a patriot? What does Mummy really think of Britain? Has anyone bothered to ask her? *When will I be able to ask her myself?* We have waited for a royal person who could ask such questions. He tells us he cares less than nothing for his ancestors. Even he wouldnt say so, but he has a republicans heart. Hes still trying to prove himself before the world, wielding the wooden sword, being patriotic, sticking up for the queen and his Mother Country, but the truths unfurled in his book can only reveal the spurious nature of these things. The royal familys complicity with the press is not temporary and it is not accidental; it means there can be no family, only pairs, or individuals, coiled around courtiers. To think of it as a family is to ignore the poison that courses through the whole thing. Harry wants them to be angrier at the press, to stand up for him and Meghan against it, but he fails to see that his needs, and his wifes, make his brother and his father dislike him, and so British journalism is left to embody all his feelings of being hunted and isolated, giving the press a force it would not otherwise have had. Harry must be the only person who feels the urge to take Rebekah Brooks seriously. Just dont read it, his father says, and this is taken as a form of negligence, but in fact its the only sensible thing Charles says. The press is only as powerful as Harry allows it to be: its *his* monster, and he gives it oxygen.
Alot of what he says about being the spare makes him seem petty. His brother always gets the better deal, while he is under-regarded, uninvited, last on the list. But why would he want it any other way? Theres a having-your-cake-and-eating it problem: he wants the privilege, the security, the tradition, the whole jamboree, but he also wants the privacy, the ordinariness. Theres an unresolved childishness at play here. He wants to be drinking Smirnoff Ice with his mates, going on the Tube, taking coke, snogging his girlfriend in Soho House, but he also wants the other stuff the life of the royal, the titles for his kids and his need for all that threatens to drag his more serious concerns into the shallows. When he was about to introduce Meghan to his dad, he asked her to wear her hair down, because Pa likes it when women wear their hair down. She should also avoid wearing too much make-up because Pa didnt approve of women who wear a lot. If youre Harry, it takes genius to be ordinary, and hes only halfway there, still agitating for approval. In his account of the years of his trauma, he mentions nothing about what was actually happening in Britain, noticing not one thing about the conditions under which people live. The book makes it clear that Harry has been treated badly, but it also makes clear he thinks about nothing else.
It would displease the prince to think so, but his books main contribution to the jollity of nations is journalistic. His truths wont change the royal family and they wont bring media fairness. They will fill the papers, though, for a few months, and will add brilliant detail to an already very baroque picture. British journalism should give him an award for services to the industry in a difficult year. I wish his truth-telling would upset the apple cart and I applaud him and Meghan for calling out the institution but their problem is that it cant be mended by minor fixes. Tough call. In the meantime, thanks to him, we know that Camilla is a leaker. We know that Harry wanted to leave school and work in a fondue hut in the ski resort at Lech am Arlberg. We know that his father laughed at the wrong bits while watching an Eton production of *Much Ado about Nothing*. We learn that William had bad breath on his wedding day. We know that the theme of the party where Harry wore a Nazi uniform was Natives & Colonials. (It doesnt seem to occur to Harry, by the way, that ordinary people, the ones he plays with becoming, dont go to parties like that. His brother, he claims, said his outfit was fine. But then Williams own recent birthday party had been themed Out of Africa. I mean, what the actual fuck? They are a million miles away from the world they wish to join, and sorry doesnt cover it.) His other gifts to journalism and to Tom Bradby and Anderson Cooper, who interviewed him on *60 Minutes* are that he asked to see photographs of his dying mother taken on the night she died, and that he later drove through the tunnel at the same speed, wanting to understand the disgraceful carnival atmosphere.
The British press made him ready for war. Murdochs politics were just to the right of the Talibans, and Harry went to Afghanistan filled with choking rage, always a good precursor to battle. Its good to see how much he dislikes Murdoch, but you have to worry for the young man who went to war feeling like that, and who later in this book feels the need to say that he killed 25 members of the Taliban. All this from someone who has spent his adult life, and a whole book, railing against press intrusion and expressing anguish about the security of his family. He seems not to know that when it comes to Afghanistan he is writing about what millions of people feel to be an unjust holy war, and it was insane of Moehringer not to tell him so. *Oh, Harry*, I thought, and I wrote it several times in the margin of his often brilliant book. You dont have to be damaged to be crass, but it hurts you more if you are.
Harrys life in the public eye has been one long panic attack, yet his plans to free himself are tangled up with a wish to be equal to the people he grew up with. He wants privilege, but he doesnt want to play the game. He wants freedom, with none of the rules. Even as a royal author he wants to be different (If you like reading pure bollocks then royal biographies are just your thing). He wishes to enlarge the self, but nobody in the army ever did well out of wanting more selfhood the idea is to submit yourself to the company. Royals calm themselves with a similar sense of mission. He wants to improve, but the question posed by his book is how he might honestly locate himself. It may be that he is still on the tundra, looking for the mother who is hiding his word and whose disappearance has never really been resolved, even now he has children of his own. He will always be triggered by careless paparazzi shooting and courtiers gossiping and family members serving themselves, but his book, between the lines, shows the core of his despair. Harry remembers his mothers scent he took a bottle of her perfume to therapy and smelling it, begins to remember her, and perhaps sees a way out of the tunnel hes stuck in. Dianas perfume was called First. Not second, not third, not apprentice and not spare First. Harrys feelings of inferiority, his own faults, his own jealousy, will one day be the materials of his recovery. Meanwhile, he is stuck in the glare of public relations, an amazing projection of the truth.
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# Are Helicopter Parents Actually Lazy?
![](https://pyxis.nymag.com/v1/imgs/2c9/224/37f4f19d7c44dc8a59c24e8df1da1a618f-helicopter-parents.rhorizontal.w700.jpg)
Illustration: Hannah Buckman
The other evening, I was over at my friends place and we were comparing notes on our seventh-graders. Like in New York City, seventh grade in Montreal marks the traditional start of solo commuting on public transit. My friends kid has had some [trouble adapting](https://www.thecut.com/2022/09/the-dread-of-watching-your-kid-start-school.html) to the logistics of getting around alone. For a while, a parent would ride the bus with him, but he wanted to be more independent. He switches buses on the way to school, and that was the tricky part that needed practicing.
So for a week of [morning commutes](https://www.thecut.com/2015/03/11-facts-about-your-soul-sucking-commute.html), his stepdad tailed the bus on his bike, pedaling the snowy Montreal streets to make sure his stepson got off where he was supposed to. One morning, the kid missed his stop, and my friend had to race the bus, ditch his bike at the next stop, and rush on to get him. But now hes riding alone every morning, a seventh-grader making his way.
As my kids get older, I am learning how labor-intensive it is to teach them to be independent, and Im beginning to think that we have the helicopter-parent/hands-off-parent binary all wrong. Maybe helicopter parenting is a form of neglect, one that might even be comparable in its harmfulness to the kind of neglect that forces kids to grow up by their own wits. The crisis of teen [mental health](https://www.thecut.com/2022/02/stress-toys-for-kids.html) in the wake of COVID can be explained in all sorts of ways, but a common denominator is that many teenagers feel that they have [no control over their lives](https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2022/10/why-are-kids-so-sad.html), which is distressing for any human. When you teach a kid to be safely independent, you give them some of that control. Denying a kid that opportunity is cruelty disguised as parental virtue its beyond fucked up and dark, when you really think about it.
I also wonder if we misunderstand some of the motivations for helicopter parenting. We assume its an anxiety response, and Im sure that explains a lot of it, but its also the path of least resistance. Im not one to call people out for being lazy — in Montreal, we prefer to call it “*lart de vivre*” — but I might have to make an exception here.
“Sometimes its harder to parent your kids to become independent than it is to helicopter — it can be exhausting, and it can be time-consuming,” said Dr. Gail Saltz, clinical associate professor of psychiatry at New York-Presbyterian Hospital and host of the [*How Can I Help?*](https://www.iheart.com/podcast/1119-how-can-i-help-with-dr-ga-76281118/) podcast from iHeartRadio. As counterintuitive as it may seem, letting kids make mistakes, and being there to support (and clean up after) them, can be more work than doing everything yourself. “Your kid will leave the house with their shoes on the wrong feet, and youll think, *The teachers going to see this; what will they think?*” said Dr. Saltz. But the teacher has seen it all, and the kid will realize their feet hurt and figure out that they need to switch their shoes. “Little kids need little tasks,” said Dr. Saltz — like putting on shoes, brushing their own teeth.
Many parents instinctively intervene in these simple tasks, but it sets a precedent that can be hard to break later on. It takes a long-term oceanic presence of mind to teach kids independence. Its not a set of tasks but an entire orientation that has to be maintained over the course of years. Repetition, correction, being available to help if something goes wrong — this is what teaching kids independence requires of us.
“Parents who are very involved, wanting to know what their child is doing in the world — that is often considered part of helicopter parenting, but that isnt necessarily a problem,” said Saltz. “Being involved is distinct from wanting to help a child make all of their decisions. The problem is I will help you do all the things. I will get involved in your conflicts. I will not let you make any mistakes.’” According to Saltz, even parents of young children should avoid approaching parenting as a troubleshooting exercise. Children become accustomed to this degree of parental involvement. The more time parents spend clearing the path for their offspring, the harder it is for children to adapt to facing obstacles on their own.
For parents who can afford to throw money at their problems by [hiring nannies and Ubers to shuttle their kids all over town](https://www.curbed.com/2023/02/upper-east-side-parents-axiety-teens-crime-covid.html), being overprotective is probably as much about expediency as it is about actual worry. Its more convenient to outsource and schedule than to take the time and mental space to help kids handle anything semi-autonomously. But by failing to take the time to teach our kids to navigate a neighborhood (or load a dishwasher, for that matter), were prioritizing our own convenience over the long-term benefits for our kids.
Helicopter parenting is also a way of protecting yourself from the judgment of other parents. In fact, its specter can loom even larger than actual threats to childrens safety. The off-piste vigilance of strangers can make an otherwise safe, ordinary situation spiral into conflict and defensiveness.
Fearful and overprotective strangers can even feel like a threat — especially to parents of color, whose kids are [more likely to be seen as “loitering”](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0264275120312336?casa_token=6qz1J4Z9VjMAAAAA:PTBXjf2Ve5QiMoMdv-GBTzxJYSrVW_X4GnCyZBiNaYTaTVtXt-_gkcJuWPE1HtNien4qCGfmmSZz) when theyre out in the world. Weve all read the nightmare stories of mothers having their children put into foster care because their poverty was mistaken for neglect. Many of us have had our own brushes with a stranger on a rampage of carefulness, and its enough to make you think twice about letting your kids be independent at a young age.
When my kids were 5 and 2, I was doing fieldwork for my masters thesis on the weekends while working full time during the week. (Notice how I instinctively position myself as hardworking and overextended so youll think Im a good person worthy of sympathy.) One Sunday in March, I had to conduct an interview at a Tim Hortons, and since my husband was working, I brought the kids. I left them in the car, listening to music they liked — I could see them through the window from where I sat conducting my interview. Wouldnt you know it, another woman clocked them too. I saw her standing by my car reaching for her phone, and I knew right away It Was Happening. I excused myself from the interview to run outside. She was on the verge of calling the cops, she said, because someone could come grab the kids at any moment. (Its amazing how abduction by strangers is such a persistent fear among so many parents, when 99 percent of abductors are known to the child they take.) We exchanged words — I instinctively, Canadianly apologized, which I have regretted ever since — and she left.
Ive thought about that woman for years. She had two teenage daughters with her, who witnessed the whole exchange. No doubt, as they drove away she reiterated to them that she would never have been so negligent with them when they were young. She was demonstrating fitness to them, responsibility, moral fortitude. But nothing had actually happened — no one had been in danger, and no one was saved. Sometimes, I think that as the world becomes increasingly complex and overfull of information, confused people seek out opportunities to feel like they have some idea of whats going on. The vulnerability of children, as a concept, is not confusing. And thats how we have found ourselves in a situation where children are overpoliced by strangers in public and parents consider it their duty to protect their kids from obstacles real and imagined.
We really owe it to ourselves and to our kids not to let our style be cramped by the threat of overzealous idiots on the hunt for opportunities to create order in their world. My kids have always been a bit more on the loose than average, and Ive long harbored a shameful worry: If anything ever happened to them while roaming the neighborhood alone, not only would it be horrible for our family, but it would prove the anxious side right — and I would hate to have to live that down.
It doesnt take only energy and attention to teach your kids to navigate independence safely. It takes a certain willingness to accept that someone out there might think youre a bad parent. Allowing imagined judgment to cloud our decision making is like letting an internet comments section make our choices for us. Helicopter parenting is the manifestation of overlapping anxieties about the hazards of the world and about the opinions of other people. Its also a product of the narcissistic delusion that our childrens (inevitable, developmentally necessary) failures are our own.
This newsletter has never been about giving advice, and Im not about to start now, but I do have one request to make of all you city-dwelling readers. Next time you see a kid you know walking down the street by themselves, dont ask them where their parents are. Ask them where theyre headed.
- [Are New Dads OK?](https://www.thecut.com/2023/03/how-can-new-fathers-support-each-other.html)
- [Cup of Jos Joanna Goddard Opens Up About Her Divorce](https://www.thecut.com/2023/02/cup-of-jo-joanna-goddard-divorce-parenting-interview.html)
- [What If You Just Didnt Clean That Up?](https://www.thecut.com/2023/02/embracing-mess-vs-cleanliness.html)
[See All](https://www.thecut.com/tags/brooding)
Are We Wrong About Helicopter Parenting?
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# At Sandy Hook, Crime-Scene Investigators Saw the Unimaginable
![A photograph of Detectives Art Walkley and Karoline Keith and Sgt. Jeff Covello, all staring directly into the camera.](https://static01.nyt.com/images/2023/04/23/magazine/23sandyhook-opener/23sandyhook-opener-articleLarge.jpg?quality=75&auto=webp&disable=upscale)
Detectives Art Walkley, left, and Karoline Keith and Sgt. Jeff Covello, crime-scene investigators for the Connecticut State Police.Credit...Elinor Carucci for The New York Times
## They Saw the Horrific Aftermath of a Mass Shooting. Should We?
The crime-scene investigators are the ones who document, and remember, the unimaginable. This is what they saw at Sandy Hook.
Detectives Art Walkley, left, and Karoline Keith and Sgt. Jeff Covello, crime-scene investigators for the Connecticut State Police.Credit...Elinor Carucci for The New York Times
- April 20, 2023
### Listen to This Article
Audio Recording by Audm
The crime-scene van was parked next to the black Honda Civic already identified as belonging to the shooter, the yellow tape marking its perimeter juddering in a helicopter gust. Earlier that morning, before the van was cleared to move closer to the school, Jeff Covello, the crime-scene-van supervisor, and his team were crowded around the dry-erase board. Art Walkley, the only one on the van who had so far been inside, sketched out what he said were the two main areas of impact. He arrived with the other first-response officers and stormed the school as children were running out, his gun drawn, ready to kill on sight, in fact quite eager to pull the trigger once he glimpsed Classrooms 10 and 8.
Jeff had never seen Art look the way he did after he came out of the school. It was more of an apparition that climbed back onto the van. The two of them were SWAT for eight years together before Jeff transferred to Major Crimes and brought Art with him. They had taken fire together. They had seen each other become parents. Art had seen Jeff call his wife in the middle of the night to remind her where to find the life insurance. They could all read one anothers minds. Karoline Keith, the senior detective on the van, had already been riding for more than five years when Jeff arrived as the new supervising sergeant. It was Karoline who suggested that Art try to tell them what he saw and sketch it on the board. She hoped it would make it easier once they got inside. Art said he didnt think there was anything he could say that was going to make it easier.
As detectives for the Connecticut State Police Western District Major Crime Squad, they were all experts in human depravity, but Art was the *death guy*. The one who was lowered into septic tanks to retrieve badly decayed body parts. He had seen everything imaginable and a good deal of the unimaginable. And yet somehow he managed to stay one step ahead of the crowd of ghosts that were always following on their heels from one death scene investigation to the next. But by the look of him now, in the parking lot of [Sandy Hook Elementary on Dec. 14, 2012](https://www.nytimes.com/2012/12/15/nyregion/shooting-reported-at-connecticut-elementary-school.html), the ghosts had caught up all at once.
SWAT had cleared the building, and the F.B.I. had checked for explosives and ruled out terrorism. Now it was up to them to take the photographs, measure, collect evidence and conduct the exacting work of meticulous reconstruction. As the crime-scene investigators for W.D.M.C. — Eastern District Major Crime would have the shooters home; Central District Major Crime had the exterior of the school — they were recognized in the state as being the elite, specially trained detectives that they were. They would note how the shells clustered; how the choreography of the shooters movements was revealed by the voids where shells or blood were absent; where someone paused to reload. And then memorialize their work with extensive photographs and video so in court an independent expert could reproduce their calculations and arrive at the same conclusions. That was ultimately the importance of the job: to see, to look — and to do so with grinding duration.
Now, here, where 20 first graders and the principal, the school psychologist and four teachers were lying dead inside, they could maintain the detached forensic mind-set for only so long before the corrosive reality of what happened here began to seep into their Tyvek shells. Dan Sliby looked to have gone into full robot mode. The usual vibrant-prankster energy of Steve Rupsis, who would be on video today, was gone. He, like several others on the van, had a child close in age to the victims inside. Jeff himself, for the time being, was safely immersed in logistics at the little supervisors desk where he made out assignments. Calculating what resources they were going to need. Gas for the generators. Gloves. Bootees. All the supplies for who-knew-how-many decontamination stations.
The helicopters were not helping. Karoline thought for sure they were going to slam into one another and rain down another layer of destruction. But even if they crashed down on top of Sandy Hook Elementary, well, then they would handle that too. Jeff had said it a million times: God forbid, if a 747 crashed into the State Police barracks, they would know what to do. The job was the same whether it was one person or six. (Not that they had ever processed a homicide scene with more than two victims.) Their skills were infinitely scalable. Without knowing it, they had been preparing for this day their entire careers.
Image
![An aerial photograph of the parking lot at Sandy Hook Elementary School crowded with vehicles and emergency responders.](https://static01.nyt.com/images/2023/04/23/magazine/23sandyhook-web1/23sandyhook-web1-articleLarge-v2.jpg?quality=75&auto=webp&disable=upscale)
The scene at Sandy Hook Elementary School on the day of the shooting.Credit...Mario Tama/Getty Images
As have the countless other crime-scene investigators who must dwell in the aftermath following each mass shooting. Virginia Tech, Columbine, the Aurora movie theater, the Pulse nightclub in Orlando, the El Paso Walmart shooting, Parkland, Las Vegas, Binghamton, San Bernardino, Sutherland Springs, Thousand Oaks, Virginia Beach, Monterey Park, Santa Fe, Pittsburgh, Buffalo, Uvalde, the Covenant School in Nashville in March and Louisville in April. Each scene of unimaginable horror witnessed by an anonymous team we have chosen, without knowing it, to do the gruesome work of internalizing our national crisis for us.
Among the things the team had trained to do was lower the visor of fog. It came down around the rest of the world and gave them a protective cloak, a kind of insulation, so that like ghoulish astronauts they could descend and still see past the obvious suffering and gore while maintaining the requisite objectivity. Maintaining a barrier against the cross-contamination of their feelings was as important as the masks and bootees. The sooner they could suit up the better.
The job had already destroyed Karoline once. It was difficult to think that just as the shooter was stepping into the lobby, she was sitting in her therapists office, talking about how far shed come over the past two years. She was no longer suffering from panic attacks or seeing things that werent there. She had started therapy in 2010, after putting in for a transfer off the van. The simple reason was that she had burned out. The less-simple reason was that she could no longer go for a walk in the woods without mistaking every flesh-colored rock for human remains. At home, she had become controlling and hypervigilant. Texting her partner, Elissa, 50 times a day, even managing the way Elissa walked the dog. She had begun to see the whole world as a potential crime scene.
But when she requested the transfer she was persuaded to stay. She told her major and lieutenant she was burned out. She had to leave the unit. “I love what I do,” she said, “but what I do is killing me.” But they said they couldnt afford to let her go. Besides, wasnt she only a couple of years from retirement? It was the soldier mentality, being part of a paramilitary organization, that ended up making her cave and decide to start therapy instead. And she had really been turning a corner until she got back in her car after this mornings session and heard the police radio blowing up. And then flying triple digits down the back roads until she had wound as far as she could up Riverside Road into the bedlam of frantic parents and hundreds of dazed and helpless cops.
When she got out, a panicked mother grabbed her to ask where to go, saying that she couldnt find her child. She had heard they were gathering parents in the firehouse, so she brought the mother there, and then she went looking for the van. Going up the hill toward the school, where it was cordoned off, was when she first started hearing numbers. A lieutenant she knew said: *Its bad, KK. Its bad.*
**In the lobby** everything had been left as it was. The shot-out windows let in the cold dark of early evening. Broken glass, still scattered on the brown-and-white tiled floor, crunched under the soles of the F.B.I. security detail standing by the front door. It was shortly after 5:30 p.m. on Dec. 20, the sixth day since the shooting, and Attorney General Eric Holder sat before the large TV screen that had been set up expressly for his visit.
A semicircle of folding chairs had been brought in from the cafeteria for the six detectives of the W.D.M.C. van squad; a handful of detectives from Central and Eastern Major Crimes; the F.B.I. special agents who had assisted over the past week; and the attorney generals chief of staff. Holder had made the rest of the entourage who accompanied him on his visit to Sandy Hook — local and state politicians, including at least one senator, as well as the colonel of the State Police — wait in the line of gloomy black S.U.V.s while he entered to meet with the crime scene unit on their final day.
The TV screen, mutilated by one intolerable, impossible image after another, gave the attorney general just an abbreviated glimpse of the 1,495 photographs taken by Art Walkley over the past week: an uncensored, unredacted view of what they had faced when they first entered the school. As Jeff took Holder through each image, the only other sound in the lobby was the crinkling and uncrinkling of the tarp that hung over the hallway that led down to Classrooms 8 and 10. With each new image the A.G. seemed to grow smaller in his chair.
Image
The lobby of Sandy Hook Elementary School after the shooting.Credit...Art Walkley/Connecticut State Police Western District Major Crime
Image
A hallway at the school after the shooting. The investigator Art Walkley took 1,495 photographs, but only a fraction of them have been shown to the public.Credit...Art Walkley/Connecticut State Police Western District Major Crime
Sitting with Karoline was Sam DiPasquale. As a special-agent bomb tech for the F.B.I., stationed in New Haven, Sam first responded to the shooters home on Yogananda Street to check for explosives. After he finished there, after running the robot down the hallway to the mothers bedroom, where she lay shot dead, he went to the school to see if there was anything he could do to help Jeff. They had known each other forever, having met at co-agency explosives and post-blast training sessions. Jeffs team helped the New Haven office on several occasions. Sam even had them deputized at one point for a domestic-terrorism case. He would now assist them, making sure they had gas for their generators, making sure their team was fed every day, helping secure unusual equipment. He helped put plywood boards up over the windows in the two classrooms, mostly to protect patrol cops securing the perimeter from the impulse to look. In fact, most of his job was fending off all the captains, and majors, and states attorneys, and assistant attorneys general, from trying to see what he had to tell them over and over again they would not be able to unsee.
After 9/11, Sam was embedded with the Navy in Iraq, as part of the bureaus largely unadvertised C.E.X.C. (Combined Explosives Exploitation Cell), deployed to suicide bombings to collect DNA for its database of bomb makers. He had picked limbs from trees. Defused homemade explosives. But the worst thing hed ever seen was the inside of an elementary school in Connecticut.
Jeff decided that he and Sam would be the only two permitted to have phones inside, in order to limit photographs. They were the first ones there in the morning, and the last to leave at night. When Sam heard the attorney general was going to be visiting Newtown — a few days after [President Obama spoke at a vigil](https://www.nytimes.com/2012/12/17/us/politics/bloomberg-urges-obama-to-take-action-on-gun-control.html) at the local high school — he called an F.B.I. buddy he knew would be tasked with the security detail. He said that if possible, the school should be on his itinerary.
Jeff immediately seized on the idea. Sam had found him at one of the decon stations cleaning jewelry. It was something Jeff learned to do from the nurses at Bristol Hospital a million years ago when he was a paramedic. How to clean a piece of jewelry before returning it to the family. It was certainly nothing he learned at the police academy. But being able to perform such a task now, however much of it, was almost soothing after multiple days processing evidence in the tent that was set up initially as the temporary morgue.
Maintaining purpose did not come easily the last seven days and nights. But this was their chance to show the right person what they had seen. And so Sam set about securing everything Jeff said hed need for the visit. Starting with a giant TV.
> ## Were going to do this the same way we always do it. Were just going to do it 26 times.
After the horrifying PowerPoint slide show, Karoline took Holder and his devastated chief of staff on a walk through the school, holding back the tarp that had concealed the aftermath of where Principal Hochsprung and the school psychologist were shot after running out from a meeting. In the conference room, across from Classroom 8, were 26 bankers boxes containing each victims personal belongings. An old-timer from the van, Ray Insalaco, came in to help box up the desks. It had fallen to him to empty the 20 lunchboxes. His advice to the small crew he brought in: Dont read the notes. He had already made the mistake when one fluttered out as he was dumping an uneaten lunch into the trash.
*Thank God its Friday. Love, Mommy.*
The A.G. and his chief of staff stood looking dumbly at the plain white boxes, each of the childrens bearing a purple-and-green butterfly name sticker that had come off their backpack hooks, until Karoline guided them into Classroom 10. A numbered evidence tag marked where each small body was removed from the defiled carpet. Larger stains divulged where the two teachers fell. This was the same room where Dan Sliby, on their initial walk-through, found himself raging near the body of the shooter. Decades earlier, he was a first-grader in this very room. Pacing around the corpse, he could barely refrain from kicking it in the chest.
By a cluster of desks was the [Bushmaster](https://www.nytimes.com/2022/02/20/us/politics/sandy-hook-legal-victories.html). Its barrel and muzzle brake were coated in a film of white powder. A less experienced observer might have thought that it was concrete dust from bullets hitting the walls. But Dan was sure, from his time in the Marines, that the chalky residue was baked evaporated blood.
Karoline then steered the attorney general, his stride no longer so firm, into Classroom 8. The room where, days before, their resolve wavered. Where they momentarily lost and regained their sense of purpose. Where they all stood in silent disbelief, a light drizzle on the window ticking off each annihilating second, staring into the tiny bathroom. Where the children were packed in so tightly that the inward-hinged door could not be shut all the way. Where Art, who had seen what he had thought must have been every possible reconfiguration of the human body, did not even understand what he was looking at. And where Karoline found herself doing something that came naturally: holding up an imaginary rifle, pointing it into the bathroom, registering the casings on the carpet to her right where the ejection port would have sent them and noting automatically that this was obviously where the shooter would have been standing when he fired the Bushmaster. It was when she felt Jeff looking at her that she dropped the imaginary gun and left the room.
She went to the next classroom over, which had been spared. She needed a minute to collect herself. Steve Rupsis followed, struggling to keep his head focused on forensics. He kept asking her what he should do. How should I video this, KK? How should I get the overall shot? Should I sketch the lobby and the classrooms separately? Are we going to sketch? Do you want me to sketch? He was spiraling. She told him what she needed was a minute. He backed away.
That was when Jeff, his face tear-stained, gave them the purpose that they would desperately need to get through the next week.
“Look,” he said, “were going to do this the same way we always do it. Were just going to do it 26 times.” *Same thing as always, 26 times.* It became like a mantra. Were going to do what we always do. Same procedures. Same four overall photos of each room. Same medium shots. Same untold number of close-ups to memorialize every minuscule aspect of the work. They would set up staging tables in the tent for mass processing of the evidence, nothing theyd ever done at this scale. With eight tables it went like an assembly line. Each item photographed against a neutral backdrop. They had a 20-pound roll of butcher paper on the truck just for this purpose. One clean sheet, with a glove change in between, for each item, each piece of clothing. Each small shirt. Each elfin dress. Each backpack. Each barrette. Charm bracelet. Wedding ring. Each bloodied shoe. *Same thing as always, 26 times.*
Jeff reminded them that something like destiny, however grim and profoundly unwanted, had been laid at their feet. That the country, the world, would come looking for answers was not a question. And if anyone was going to provide the answers, at least to what had happened in these rooms, it would be up to them, but only if they kept their heads. This clarity of purpose was what allowed them to move ahead that day, and to continue on, working 12 and 16 hours, only stopping to get in their cars long enough to drive past the procession of garrisoned media trucks and excruciating makeshift memorials, cairns of teddy bears and stuffed hearts, to sleep a few hours before returning the next morning.
**From the very** first, they faced resistance. No sooner had they secured the crime scene than the chief medical examiner showed up, plopped down at one of the teachers desks and began telling Jeffs team not to waste time taking photographs. They did not need to be so *overzealous.*
Because the Office of the Chief Medical Examiner had jurisdiction over all bodies in the state of Connecticut, Jeffs team was not permitted to move or touch a body until the M.E. first signed off. Normally the crime scene unit obtained permission over the phone, or from a representative on site. They knew the M.E. well enough, from various aspects of death investigations, but Karoline recalled only ever seeing him once at a crime scene in her 13 years on the van. Now here he was, barking unsolicited advice, sitting at the desk of a teacher who still lay on the floor near another teacher with a childs body in her arms. They all knew what happened here, he said, everyone knew it wasnt going to go to court, at least not criminal, so his own photographers could take all the necessary pictures once they got the bodies to autopsy. The main priority, he insisted, was getting the bodies back to the families. The governor needed to make a statement.
The need to return the bodies to the families as quickly as possible was obviously more than understandable. But not to conduct a full investigation, not to take photos, was unthinkable. And who the hell knew yet if there was even an accomplice? Who knew anything yet? To cut corners, to not document every centimeter of the scene while it was intact, would itself be criminal: a failure that would only leave the families with unanswerable questions. Their own work told a story that no longer existed on the medical examiners metal table.
At 8:35 p.m., the bodies were removed and taken to the O.C.M.E., and the governor informed the parents.
The crew worked on. They were interrupted again and again. One day it was the F.B.I. unit that worked on profiles of shooters and serial killers. Other times it was people they felt had no business being there, enough that they began referring to them as the dog and pony shows. A high-ranking official from the L.A.P.D. showed up out of nowhere wanting a special walk-through. Various brass with various justifications. The problem was that during these interruptions it was not as if they could just step outside for a break. The problem was being forced to stop, but never long enough to go through the tedious steps of decon, the process of changing out of their Tyvek, bootees, hairnets, gloves, having to completely re-suit, and so they ended up just standing around, noticing all the little things they had been trying not to notice. Pokémon cards and Little Mermaid this and that, stuff their own kids had at home. The Christmas projects the children had been working on for their parents. The drawings of stick-figure families huddled on the couch reading. The cups of milk still on the childrens desks along with crayons and scissors and sheets of stiff-bright construction paper: the last thing they would get to do in this life before the strange man with yellow plugs in his ears and a loud gun entered.
Image
One of the few unredacted photographs of Classroom 8, where 15 children and two teachers were killed.Credit...Art Walkley/Connecticut State Police Western District Major Crime
Karoline was stopped short by something one of the kids had written on the board where they put their big goals for the year. This kids was to tie their own shoes. There were other, grander ambitions. “I want to read chapter books.” “I want to learn to count numbers.” “I want to write stories wenn I can.” A stick figure in green shoes announced, “cat to loo gokig tosgy,” because all motives were not as easily articulated, or even articulable. It struck her as immensely cruel that this kid had learned to die before they had learned how to tie their shoes. It made her think back to when she herself had learned to tie her own shoes, practicing on her fathers work boot. She saw it vividly now, smelling of diesel and leather, almost as if it were sitting on one of the desks, eyelets waiting to be laced. It was so simple, in the purest sense of having straightforward purpose. How beyond it we were as adults, she thought; you just tied your shoes in the morning without thinking. Even if it was the only part of your day that made sense. Maybe the whole problem was that our goals as adults were far more make-believe than any goals most kids had. You tied your shoes so they stayed on your feet when you ran! Unlike the simple purpose of the bootees she put over her shoes to prevent the bloodied ground beneath her feet from seeping in and contaminating her ability to impassively bear witness.
The strangest interruption had to be when their lieutenant stopped by to let them know not to pay any attention to the news, but apparently there were people in the outside world saying what they were seeing was not real at all, only an elaborate hoax. They had no idea what to make of this intrusion of sinister make-believe.
When they heard Attorney General Eric Holder was coming, the highest-ranking law enforcement agent in the United States, a policymaker of the highest echelon, they knew it was their one chance. To show the scene as they found it. To present the evidence to the right set of eyes. If what they saw did not shake the country out of its denial, nothing would. *Were pretending things arent the way they are,* Jeff said.
So there would be no sugarcoating it, not for the attorney general. If they were the ones who would provide the answers that would help break the country from its spell, it first meant waking up the right people. Not the local legislators, not the governor, not the politicians who could all wait in the motorcade fidgeting on their phones with the heat running. It would require only a small but debilitating sample from Arts camera: a dozen out of the 1,495 seared into his Nikon D300. And they would not present it in a neutral space like the cafeteria. They were going to show him right in the center of the nightmare where they had been working the past hellish week. So he could see it and smell it and feel it under his shoes. So he could see how 80 rounds fired into a three-by-four-foot bathroom trenched the cinder block. How 16 children crammed in that tightly had not had the space to fall where they stood. How innocence could be transformed to gore in an instant.
But even though the attorney general was convinced in this moment, reeling on the threshold of this tiny, obliterated bathroom, that if the American people only saw what he was seeing, Congress would be forced to do the right thing, nothing would change in the end. Tragedy in America would prevail. Some would say nothing has changed because we have not yet been made to see. After each new mass shooting, the question, the debate, returns. [Would seeing the crime-scene photos have an effect](https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/30/us/politics/photos-uvalde.html) on the gun crisis in the same way images of Emmett Tills body in an open coffin had on the civil rights movement? The Sandy Hook photographs have been redacted by Connecticut state law since 2013. Even if the law were to change with the consent of the families of the victims, who pushed for the legal restriction, public viewing of the photographs would require one outlet or another to first make the decision to publicize the images. And in a culture where reality is no longer agreed on, many will not believe what they see unless it is funneled through their propaganda of choice. So until that unlikely moment arrives, the full truth of these images and those of shooting after shooting, for the decade after Sandy Hook and into the future, will live on only in the atrocity exhibition that exists in the memory of those who photograph, measure and collect the foul evidence.
These photographs were taken on Dec. 14, 2012, at Sandy Hook Elementary School by Detective Art Walkley, a crime-scene investigator who documented the immediate aftermath of the shooting. Walkleys 1,495 photographs were included in the official report released by the Connecticut State Police, but a majority of them were redacted in compliance with a 2013 Connecticut state law passed at the urging of Sandy Hook families. Once the scene was secured, Walkleys job was to photograph the rooms exactly as they were found. This is the entire sequence of photographs he took in Classroom 10, where five students and two teachers were killed and where the shooter died by suicide.
**The day after** the van crew left the school for the last time, Karolines sister and her partner, Elissa, took her out. Elissa drove her to therapy that morning. Then they went holiday shopping, to get her away from the news. Both were keeping a close eye on her, one on either side like her own personal guardrails, back out in a world where Christmas had not been canceled.
She had agreed to go along. To do a little shopping for her nieces and nephews. At first she thought she was fine. But inside the Christmas Tree Shops, that permanent bazaar of candy canes and singing reindeer, she started to feel overwhelmed by the shimmery music, the red tinsel and the horrific crimson bulbs everywhere. The same kind the kids had been working on for one of their projects. Each red ball branded with a small white handprint and left to dry on the sill in the classroom. Each precariously balanced on a Dixie cup, until Karoline sent them flying while trying to string a bullet hole, measuring the trajectory from where the gun might have been fired. She managed to catch them before she had to find out what the sound of the bulbs shattering on the floor might do to her. Now, in the middle of the store, where Bing Crosby was loudest, and her disgust at the lurid make-believe normalcy was ankle-deep, she was hyperventilating. Then she was fleeing outside. Away from the shoppers with their peppermint lattes oblivious to the dark red abyss at their feet.
What she felt more than anything, out here in the shockingly complacent world, was that she belonged back in the school. It did not feel right to have left them behind.
Most homicide reports took three to four months. She still had a number of cases from before waiting on their own reports. By the time she sat down to begin the Sandy Hook report, it was March.
To spare the others, Art and Karoline decided they would be the only ones who would have to look at the photographs. Karoline rearranged her schedule to work nights. She had two screens set up: photographs on one, scene report on the other. On her desk she had her knights helmet for company. Elissa had given it to her as a gift; it was just about big enough for a cat. The thought passed through her mind sometimes that she was a knight in a past life, and this helped in a small way to get through it, to lower the visor, to move forward through the awful spell cast by the images.
Art chose to do his end at home, writing a précis of each of the 1,495 photographs that he had taken, working at his dining room table, headphones on, listening to Pachelbel. His wife played it while pregnant with both of their daughters, and recently she and the girls had been listening to it at bedtime, so it was a way to be with them, he supposed, though the truth was it had been hard. He had found to his horror that at first, for a time, he could not even look at them. He could not give them a hug good night. His wife didnt understand. On Christmas Day, he could not stay in the room to watch them opening their gifts. He could not stop thinking about what the other parents had done with the presents they bought for their children.
Even as they were reliving it, there were people insisting it was not real. The least welcome of all interruptions for the state police now were calls from nutjobs with bizarre questions and accusations. One day when Karoline was leaving a kickboxing class, the instructor introduced her to another woman who had also been at Sandy Hook. Karoline did not recognize the woman, who said she was a trauma nurse at the Connecticut Childrens Medical Center, in Hartford, and had been called to help the medical examiner identify the victims. The woman said she had been in the tent and was having trouble getting the faces of the children out of her head. *What faces?* Karoline thought. And then, after she called the medical examiner, and the director of pediatric trauma at the Childrens Medical Center, and been told that no such person had ever worked at either place, that it was all made up, she confronted the woman, who then broke down and confessed to being a pathological liar. Her real job was at a day care center. It was weird how some people refused to believe, while others who had not seen a thing needed to pretend they had been there.
The work of writing the report was unavoidably retraumatizing. There was no getting around it. But Karoline was all right with it falling to her, in part because it let her return to what she had not felt ready to leave. It allowed her to be back with the children. It also gave her the only degree of purpose she had been able to locate since they had left the school.
Like the red ornaments in the Christmas store, other things had a way of finding her, like getting stuck behind a school bus letting off kids, and of course they would have to be the same age, too small for the ridiculously oversize backpacks. The backpacks left behind in the classrooms were the most haunting remnant of the vanished children. There was also the recurring nightmare in which she was trying to process an active shooting as it unfolded, hiding among the victims, frantically doing her best, trying to take notes, fumbling with evidence bags, sketching what she could, as if processing it would make the shooting stop faster.
In April, she looked up one day and saw a news report: “Just four months after the shocking events at Sandy Hook. … ” The chyron below read: TERROR ATTACK AT BOSTON MARATHON. And she saw Sam DiPasquale on Boylston Street working the blast area for the second bomb. Outside the restaurant with the blown-out windows. This would happen over and over again, too, like the shootings, but all that would come out of it, she thought, were more useless “lessons learned.” Absurd plans to trot out to the public like how teachers or children might disarm a grown man carrying a military-style rifle. The only sure thing was that there would be a next time.
**When the F.B.I.** profilers requested another meeting, Karoline felt herself hitting the wall. She was frustrated to have to break her flow to go share information that she did not feel like sharing. But she and Art put together a presentation, along the lines of what they had made for Holder, but much more “aggressive,” as Karoline put it. She had been looking at the photos for months now.
It was a small group. The major, there to accompany the feds, sat in the back corner of the conference room.
Image
Bullet casings and evidence markers in the main lobby of the school.Credit...Art Walkley/Connecticut State Police Western District Major Crime
After it was done she returned to her desk. Ten or 15 minutes later the major came in looking pale. He looked at her. “Oh, my God,” he said.
She did not even look at him. “Yeah?”
He said, “Well, why dont you take the rest of the day off?” His sickly pale was seeping into the walls.
She looked at him and said: “Major. I dont need the rest of the day off. We need a fucking break. We need to be *off call.* You cant ask us if we want to be off call, because were not going to tell you that, we need to be *told* to be off call. Were soldiers. Were going to do what were told. Today you got to see *some.* A handful of photos, and youre all blown away. Now you know what Ive been living.”
She knew it was insubordinate, conduct unbecoming, but she honestly no longer cared. At this point the protective fog was gone, as if the roof had come off the barracks and the blades of a falling helicopter had blown it out to sea.
**The problem was** that it was going to happen again. There had even been a threat against the new school where the surviving children had been moved. Not that Karoline feared they wouldnt be able to do the job. They would. They would get back on the van; they would be the ones to go back out.
But despite all of the elite training they had, there was none for how to stay sane. She was having heart palpitations. Her general anxiety was heightened. She had become hypervigilant again and more controlling at home. One of the few things that gave her a sense of purpose was when the detective over at Troop A, Rachael Van Ness, a liaison for the families, would call with the most solemn of requests, from a parent who wanted to know where their child had been standing when they had been shot. In that case, Karoline would go back and check the sketch maps and provide the measurements, from one wall to the other, to fix the exact place, so the parents could return before the school was razed and stand where their own flesh had been terrorized and murdered.
On occasion, Rachael would call to ask if Karoline had found something that had not followed a child to autopsy. Things that might have sounded insignificant, like a pencil, or a thermos, but Karoline knew there were no insignificant requests. She would happily drop everything to help by going back into her notes, exhibit reports, the shattering trove of Arts photos. She would start with the encompassing overall shots, zero in on the mediums, and then the close-ups, until she could find the exact location where the child had been. On the dozen or so occasions when she found something, even if it was small, like a special eraser, it made her feel good.
One day she received a request from this same detective from Troop A, whose job, Karoline felt, must have been infinitely more difficult than hers, not one she would have traded for in a million years. In this instance, a grandmother wanted a piece of jewelry that hadnt come home with her granddaughters things. A tiny heart pendant. The kind that was split in half. The grandmother had one half, and the girl had the other. It was only the size of a pinkie nail. The girl had apparently worn it all the time.
After not finding it in any of the photos, she went down to the evidence room, where Steve Rupsis was evidence officer when he wasnt on the van, and they pulled the bullet shrapnel. It had all been preserved. Right down to the smallest fragments of copper and lead that Dan Sliby had had to chisel up out of the dense matrix of dried blood inside the bathroom. Then they dumped it out and sorted and picked through it, every piece, to see if the pendant had been swept up with the shrapnel from Classroom 8. Because that was where the girl and her half of the heart had been.
They did not find it. They never would.
---
Jay Kirk is the author of [“Avoid the Day: A New Nonfiction in Two Movements.”](https://www.harpercollins.com/products/avoid-the-day-jay-kirk?variant=32131170697250) This is his first feature article for the magazine.
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# Bears were mysteriously missing toes. These scientists cracked the case.
## A Canadian biologist went on a half-decade quest to solve the mystery of the missing grizzly digits. I did a number of things I never thought I was going to do as a scientist.
(Washington Post illustration; iStock)
Clayton Lamb didnt think much of the missing toe at first.
The Canadian biologist was moving a snoozing bear with conservation officers in [Fernie](https://tourismfernie.com/), a ski resort town tucked in the mountains of British Columbia. A tourist from Australia stood on a deck nearby, snapping photos of the hulking grizzly.
The team had tranquilized the animal to haul it away from a manicured lawn when Lamb saw it: A piece of its paw was gone.
[Grizzlies lead rough lives](https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2022/11/12/grizzly-bears-washington-cascades-restoration/?itid=lk_inline_manual_4), brawling and biting one another. “So the missing toe of one bear wasnt necessarily a red flag for us,” Lamb said.
But while doing field work for his PhD at the University of Alberta, he later saw another bear without all its digits, in the provinces Elk Valley region. Then another. Then another.
The sample size was small — four bears. But the pattern was unmistakable. Why were so many bears missing so many toes?
“We had absolutely no idea,” said Lamb, now a postdoctoral fellow at the University of British Columbia. “And we had, at the time, essentially no leads as to what it could be.”
Two grizzly bears investigating a small animal trap in 2018 in British Columbia. (Video: Clayton Lamb)
The discovery sent Lamb on a half-decade quest to unravel the mystery of the missing bear toes. The pursuit would not only divert him from his PhD work on grizzly reproduction and survival but would lead him to press for public policy changes.
“Part of what makes a grizzly bear a grizzly bear is their very long claws,” he said. “Its just something essential.”
###
A bear claw caper
From their muscular shoulders to their huge paws, grizzlies are built for digging.
The bears tunnel underground to build dens and to search for roots, rodents and other morsels to eat. The grizzlys pronounced shoulder hump is one of the easiest ways tell it apart from a black bear. A grizzly without intact paws simply cant eat or hibernate as well.
The first question for Lambs team: Are some grizzlies simply born this way? Veterinarians who reviewed the paws quickly ruled out any birth defects. X-ray images showed bone fragments, a sign of a wound that had healed.
So something had torn them off. The fractures were too straight and clean for the toes to have been bitten or ripped off by another animal. The linear breaks suggested a human cause.
Lambs team turned to traps. Every winter in British Columbia, trappers set hundreds of mousetrap-like devices baited and fastened to trees to capture and kill bushy-tailed, weasel-like animals called martens for their fur. Growing up in the province, Lamb used to trap for beavers, otters and raccoons with his cousin.
To see if bears were too inquisitive for their own good, Lamb installed motion-sensor cameras near four traps that were rigged to remain open, to prevent any further grizzly injuries.
Within two weeks, grizzlies visited all four traps, tripping two of them. Asking around, Lamb heard reports from hunters and trappers from as far as Wyoming and Finland of brown bears getting their feet caught in traps meant for smaller mammals.
But could a trap meant for such a tiny creature really hurt a grizzly? Lambs team hooked up a dead bears paw to a trap attached to his pickup truck to see how much force it would take to break a toe.
“I did a number of things that I never thought I was going to do as a scientist,” he said.
The traps werent strong enough to sever a bear toe right away, Lamb and his team wrote in [a paper](https://wildlife.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/wsb.1343) published in August in the Wildlife Society Bulletin. But Lambs team showed the devices could cut off the circulation of blood, causing tissue to die and drop off — eventually.
“Its fair to assume that theres quite a bit of suffering over the weeks or months that these toes are actually falling off,” Lamb said. “Its not an instant thing.”
###
The ethical thing to do
The missing toes arent a big enough issue to cause a population decline, according to Luke Vander Vennen, a wildlife biologist for the province who collaborated with Lamb in the grizzly research.
But the lost digits are “certainly not the kind of outcome that were comfortable accepting as the regular course of business.”
Amputated toes arent just bad for bears. They could have consequences for people living in bear country, too.
One of the four bears Lamb found without all its digits was later captured by conservation officers after wandering onto a farm. Another was killed after breaking into a calf pen on a ranch. And a third is suspected of attacking a human.
Bears that get caught in traps may just be more curious to begin with. Or, Lamb said, injured bears without the full use of their paws to dig for meals may take more risks in pursuit of food.
One solution would be to ban trapping in November, when many grizzlies are still active. But some in the fur business worried that delaying trapping until the deep winter would be dangerous because of the risk of avalanche in bear country.
“That would be a fairly blunt instrument to a problem that we can likely solve with a bit more of a nuanced approach,” said Doug Chiasson, executive director of the Fur Institute of Canada, which represents and set standards for trappers.
Another idea for keeping bear claws intact is to place a plate on the traps with an opening big enough for a marten to squeeze through but too small for a grizzlys foot.
Based on Lambs work, trapping licenses in southeast British Columbia started requiring these constraints in recent years. The measure, he said, is “a stopgap as we work on a few more options.”
For Tim Killey, a trapper who leads the British Columbia Trappers Association, another trade group, preventing bears from being ensnared is important for the industry to keep its “social license” in the face of anti-fur sentiment.
“Its the ethical thing to do,” he added.
Right now, its tough to know whether the requirements are working, said Vander Vennen, who used donated lumber to build about 100 boxes himself.
“Theyre not hard to build. Once you get set up to do them, then they can go pretty quick.”
So far, he added, no new bears have come in with missing toes.
*This article is part of Animalia, a column exploring the strange and fascinating world of animals and the ways in which we appreciate, imperil and depend on them.*
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# Behind the Scenes of Barack Obamas Reading Lists
As a journalist covering the book-publishing industry, when an editor reaches out to me about a story, its usually because theres something dark lurking under the cover. The (now failed) [Penguin Random House/Simon & Schuster](https://www.esquire.com/entertainment/books/a40861332/penguin-random-house-simon-schuster-trial/) merger was a messy game of corporate maneuvers with the potential to leave employees and authors in the dust. [The *New York Times* best-seller list](https://www.esquire.com/entertainment/books/a42189320/the-new-york-times-best-seller-lists-explained/) is calculated with a secret formula that authors and publishers regularly attempt to cheat.
I usually have anonymous sources falling all over themselves to spill industry secrets, so you can imagine that when I was assigned to investigate the methodology behind Barack Obamas annual lists of book recommendations, I set out to expose a secret apparatus of industry shenanigans. What I found was much more shocking.
---
President Barack Obama released his first official list of book recommendations in summer 2009, a few months after taking office. He continued to share summer reading recommendations throughout his presidency, with the exception of 2012 and 2013, when one can imagine he was swept up in his day job. In 2017, after leaving office and undoubtedly regaining some free time for leisure reading, the former president also began releasing a best-books-of-the-year list, alongside similar roundups for movies, television, and music.
For some, Obamas recommendations have become highly anticipated. Julianne Buonocore, founder of the book and lifestyle blog [The Literary Lifestyle](https://www.julesbuono.com/), said that she and her 800,000+ monthly readers eagerly await Obamas book list each year. “First, its exciting to see which books youve read that a former president has read too, and second, he always offers an array of diverse reads, so you know youre also bound to find something new and impactful to read next,” Buonocore said.
![us politics obama shopping](https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod/images/president-barack-obama-shops-at-politics-and-prose-news-photo-1680875089.jpg?resize=980:* "US-POLITICS-OBAMA-SHOPPING")
Obama shopping at Politics and Prose, an independent bookseller in Washington, D.C.
JIM WATSON//Getty Images
Although the lists are generally well received among anyone not naturally inclined to hate Barack Obama for unrelated political reasons, not everyone believes the authenticity of his recommendations. “I do not think the list is entirely real, in that he actually sits down and reads all these books and then chooses his favorites,” said Grace Astrove, [bookstagrammer](https://www.instagram.com/gracieisbooked/?hl=en) and director of development at Magazzino Italian Art. “I think he does read, of course, but with his schedule and responsibilities, theres just no way. It seems more likely that the highly curated list is put together from his teams suggestions, and then they all work to choose the best ones that correspond with his important agenda or other trends happening in the world.”
For skeptics like Astrove, theres the looming question of whose influence impacts Obamas selections. Sources I spoke to in the publishing industry were quick to distance themselves from the insinuation that they play any role in it. When asked whether they pitch books to the former presidents team for consideration, Carisa Hays, vice president, director of publicity at Random House Publishing Group (and Obamas in-house publicist for his own books), responded, “The books that he chooses for his annual reading list are all his personal choices, and as a publisher we dont influence his choices. His choices are his own.”
Random House, as well as the other publishers I reached out to, declined to comment on whether or not theyve ever pitched a book to Obama for consideration. Still, its hard to imagine that any publicist with the opportunity to get their book into the hands of the former president doesnt try. Given the lucrative boost in sales and publicity that an Obama pick would no doubt confer, why wouldn't they?
Eric Schultz, who was a senior advisor and deputy press secretary to President Obama, says that emails from book publicists have “no bearing on what he chooses to read and release as part of his reading list.” Rather, Obamas taste “is a reflection of the inputs he has.” When pressed, Schultz was adamant that those who suspect the former president of outsourcing his recommendations are misguided. While Schultz freely admits that staff members contribute to planning the announcements and creating promotional elements like social-media graphics, he said, “these lists come from him. This is not a staff-led exercise, and I think if it was, it wouldnt pass the smell test. These lists wouldnt be as salient or get as much traction if it wasnt coming from him directly.”
> > "This is not a staff-led exercise, and I think if it was, it wouldnt pass the smell test."
According to Schultz, the richness of Obamas reading recommendations are a reflection of the man himself and his community. You dont need *The New York Times Book Review* or Susie from book club to get recommendations when youre constantly surrounded by some of the most interesting people in the world. As Schultz pointed out, “Being a former president, one of the perks is access to people and communities and stories from every corner of the planet, in every industry, in every sector, in every vector… Whether its people in business or sports or his daughter or other friends, these are all people that he hears about books from.”
The titles that Obama selects are incredibly diverse both in subjects and in authors, varying widely from the boring political tomes written by old white men that you might imagine dwelling on the nightstands of former presidents. Of the 13 titles included in Obamas [Favorite Books of 2022](https://bookriot.com/barack-obamas-favorite-books-of-2022/), there are nine works of fiction and four works of nonfiction, including books by eight women and eight BIPOC authors. Theres a novel about a dystopian school for mothers; a graphic novel about labor and survival in Canada; a journey through the history, rituals, and landscapes of the American South; and a beautifully crafted short-story collection. As someone who spent the better part of a decade working in Big Five book publishing (the five largest publishing houses: Penguin Random House, HarperCollins, Simon & Schuster, Macmillan, and Hachette), I can tell you that the former president has impeccable taste.
Its easy to imagine certain celebrity-book-club teams setting representation quotas to avoid potential Internet backlash, but according to Schultz, Obama “releases lists that are not monolithic because his actual reading diet isnt, either. Its simply a reflection of what he is reading and not necessarily a check-the-box exercise or anything like that.”
No one I reached out to for this story had any information that would contradict Schultzs assertions.
According to the authors I spoke with whose books have appeared on Obamas lists of summer and end-of-year recommendations, the news came as a huge surprise. [Rumaan Alam](https://www.esquire.com/entertainment/books/a34659332/rumaan-alam-have-one-on-me-interview/), whose novel *Leave the World Behind* was on the summer 2021 list, said that when he found out, his reaction was “disbelief.” [Alam](https://www.esquire.com/entertainment/books/a34701608/have-one-on-me-rumaan-alam/) said, “I had no idea that my book would be on this list—I was at the beach with my kids and a friend texted me saying Congratulations. I had no idea what he was referring to—but what a wonderful surprise.”
For *New Yorker* staff writer Patrick Radden Keefe, the shock of landing on Obamas list has come not once but twice—a not uncommon occurrence among the former presidents presumed favorite authors, such as [Emily St. John Mandel](https://www.esquire.com/entertainment/books/a38441193/emily-st-john-mandel-interview-station-eleven-hbo/) (author of *The Glass Hotel,* listed in 2020, and *[Sea of Tranquility](https://www.esquire.com/entertainment/books/a39630494/emily-st-john-mandel-sea-of-tranquility-interview/),* listed in 2022) and Colson Whitehead (author of *The Underground Railroad,* listed in 2016, and *[Harlem Shuffle](https://www.esquire.com/entertainment/books/a37548524/colson-whitehead-harlem-shuffle-book-interview/),* listed in 2021).
“I had no inkling in advance, either time,” said Radden Keefe. “With *Say Nothing*, it hadnt even occurred to me that the book might be on the list. Then with *Empire of Pain*, I assumed there was no chance it would make the Obama list because *Say Nothing* had.” Radden Keefe has a hunch that “the lists arent made by committee; its one guys reading habits, albeit a guy who reads pretty widely, is an immensely gifted writer himself, and happens to be the former president of the United States.”
Having previously run social media for a Big Five book publisher, I can add that we were never told of the presidents selections in advance—something that often happened for major celebrity-book-club announcements or awards, in order for us to prepare marketing and public-relations materials.
The question of how the most powerful man on the planet found time to read *Fates and Furies* amid major world events like the Arab Spring and the killing of Osama bin Laden is a perfectly valid reason for skepticism—the guy was and is busy!—but Schultz says Obama found time to read because he sees reading as necessary, and he makes it a priority on his schedule. “He considered \[reading\] part of being a good leader, part of being a good president, part of being a good father, a good husband, and a good man,” Schultz said.
![us president barack obama visits the pra](https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod/images/president-barack-obama-visits-the-prairie-lights-bookstore-news-photo-1680879645.jpg?resize=980:* "US President Barack Obama visits the Pra")
Obama visiting the Prairie Lights bookstore in Iowa City, Iowa.
SAUL LOEB//Getty Images
Obama has echoed this sentiment throughout his career. In a 2017 interview with *The New York Times*s then chief book critic, [Michiko Kakutani](https://www.nytimes.com/2017/01/16/books/transcript-president-obama-on-what-books-mean-to-him.html), on what books mean to him (that interviews sheer existence is proof of him prioritizing books and reading while in office), Obama shared how he loved reading as a child and rediscovered reading and writing in college and as a way to rebuild himself. When he moved to New York City as a young man in the early 1980s, he said, books “reintroduced me to the power of words as a way to figure out who you are and what you think, and what you believe, and whats important.”
As a politician, hes constantly placed an emphasis on the power of books to bring us together. Schultz explains, “At his core, Barack Obama is a storyteller, and he puts enormous weight on how these authors and artists tell stories through books, music, or television and film. He especially values stories that reflect our ideals, our hopes, our dreams, our challenges, our opportunities.”
Regardless of whether the former president gets help compiling his recommendations or whether he accepts the occasional pitch from a former staffers book publicist, the fact that he promotes reading at all is a big win for anyone who believes in the power of books to bring us together.
> > "At his core, Barack Obama is a storyteller."
Astrov, albeit skeptical that a president would be able to prioritize reading while in office, still gushed about how much she enjoys Obamas annual recommendations. “Regardless of if it is real,” she said, “it is very significant and so wonderful to have an influential, male, BIPOC role model who promotes reading to millions. The list is effective in so many ways; I dont necessarily care how it is created.”
The feeling of connection between two people who love the same book is not one often felt between ordinary citizens and high-ranking government officials, but I can honestly say that when Obama announced [Lauren Groff](https://www.esquire.com/entertainment/books/a21603777/lauren-groff-interview-florida/)s achingly beautiful novel *Fates and Furies—*my favorite book of 2015—as *his* favorite book of 2015, I felt I learned more about him as a person than I had from any profile, speech, or campaign ad.
Imagining that a political consultant might have picked that book for him broke my heart, but it turns out I didnt need to worry. After weeks of reaching out to publishers, authors, and book insiders, I could not find a single source with knowledge that the former presidents book recommendations are engineered by anyone other than himself. I may have set out to write an exposé, but what I found was so much more shocking: a positive publishing story filled with authenticity.
For one moment, I give you permission to forget about [book bans](https://www.esquire.com/entertainment/books/g39908103/banned-books/), [unlivable industry salaries](https://www.esquire.com/entertainment/books/a43478293/costs-becoming-a-writer/), and [diversity problems](https://www.esquire.com/entertainment/books/g32800352/books-by-black-authors/). For one minute, I give you permission to be grateful that one of the most influential people on the planet makes it a priority not just to promote books but to be personally moved by them.
I, for one, cant wait to find out what hes reading this summer.
![Headshot of Sophie Vershbow](https://hips.hearstapps.com/rover/profile_photos/85b2c7c0-39b1-46e4-b784-a954004a985f_1660158362.file?fill=1:1&resize=120:* "Headshot of Sophie Vershbow")
Sophie Vershbow is a social media strategist and freelance journalist in NYC; her work has appeared in *The New York Times*, *Vogue, Vulture, Literary Hub,* and more.
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# Benjamin Netanyahus Two Decades of Power, Bluster and Ego
![A portrait of Netanyahu composed of various images of his face collaged together.](https://static01.nyt.com/images/2023/10/01/magazine/01oct-netanyahu/01oct-netanyahu-articleLarge.jpg?quality=75&auto=webp&disable=upscale)
Credit...Photo illustration by Lola Dupre
The nations current crisis can be traced back, in ways large and small, to the outsize personality of its longest-serving prime minister.
Flanked by two bickering ministers, Benjamin Netanyahu appeared to shrivel in his seat. It was late July in the Knesset, the last week before the summer recess, but there was no anticipatory buzz in the air. While lawmakers were preparing to vote, anti-government protesters, walled off from Parliament by newly installed barbed wire, chanted *“Busha!”* — “Shame!”
Sitting to Netanyahus left was Yariv Levin, Israels dour justice minister, a man “with less charisma than that of a napkin,” in the mordant opinion of Anshel Pfeffer, a Haaretz journalist and Netanyahu biographer. To Netanyahus right was Yoav Gallant, a former major general who serves as Israels defense minister. The two ministers hail from the right-wing Likud party, as does Netanyahu himself. But their consensus — much like every other consensus in the country — had splintered. Levins camp was bent on using the governments majority to pass a package of bills that would do away with judicial oversight in the country and concentrate power in its hands. Gallants camp, seeing the extraordinary blowback that the bills had touched off around the nation, worried that this was a step too far.
The manner of the proposed legislative package (unilateral; rushed through) and scope ([total overhaul of the system](https://www.nytimes.com/article/israel-judiciary-crisis-explainer.html)) had managed to rattle a public that had already accepted the most extremist coalition in Israeli history. Israel has no written constitution. Its Parliament is largely toothless as a check on power: The governing coalition has the majority and the means to impose its decisions there. Now it was proposing to neutralize the only curb to executive overreach: the countrys Supreme Court.
Hundreds of thousands of [protesters have poured onto the streets](https://www.haaretz.com/israel-news/judicial-coup/2023-09-23/ty-article/.premium/israelis-protest-against-netanyahu-for-38th-week-ahead-of-yom-kippur/0000018a-c34d-d3ca-a9ef-c3ed2ee10000) of Tel Aviv and other Israeli cities every Saturday since the legislation was introduced in January. The energy and breadth of the protest movement has been staggering. To see this human wave surge through blocked highways shouting “Democracy!” is to glimpse Israeli society in all its variety: There are white-coat groups (doctors) and black robes (lawyers), Brothers and Sisters in Arms (military reservists), Handmaids (womens groups), students, teachers, young people, academics, anti-occupation activists, “religious Zionist democrats,” high-tech workers and civil servants.
Image
![An aerial view of demonstrators on the streets of Tel Aviv.](https://static01.nyt.com/images/2023/10/01/magazine/01mag-Netanyahu-04/01mag-Netanyahu-04-articleLarge.jpg?quality=75&auto=webp&disable=upscale)
Demonstrators opposed to Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahus judicial overhaul in July.Credit...Yair Palti/Anadolu Agency via Getty Images
With the proposed judicial overhaul came ominous warnings from Moodys and other financial agencies about a “deterioration of Israels governance” and a downgrading of the countrys credit outlook. Foreign investments were pulled; the shekel depreciated. Military reservists threatened to not show up for duty. Panicking, Netanyahu, Israels longest-serving prime minister, [suspended the legislation in March](https://www.nytimes.com/live/2023/03/27/world/israel-protests-netanyahu). But this prompted his base to rebel, calling it a “surrender.” As one Likud lawmaker posted on Twitter, “You voted right and you got left.” The pressure on Netanyahu closed in from all sides. “If it were up to Bibi, the overhaul would simply disappear, but he cant because the genie is now out of the bottle,” Tal Shalev, a political reporter for Walla News, told me.
By July, Netanyahu calculated that he was paying a steep public cost and getting nothing in return. Suspending the legislation had been a strategic mistake, his advisers reasoned: If the other side realized that the “unilateral threat is real” — that the government was willing to pass bills without seeking wider approval from the opposition — “theyll move to compromise,” a source close to Netanyahu told me earlier that month. The judicial overhaul was back on the table.
The issue before Parliament now, as Netanyahu sat between his squabbling ministers, was an amendment that would bar the Supreme Court from using a standard of reasonableness to reverse government decisions. Gallant was desperate for a last-minute compromise, concerned about military disunity. Levin was steadfast in his intention to push the law through.
“Give me something!” Gallant pleaded over Netanyahus head.
Netanyahu sat there, mute and impassive, uncharacteristically careless about the optics. Though he prefers not to be seen wearing his eyeglasses, enlarging the font of his speeches to 24, he kept them on this time.
Shortly after 3:30 p.m., the Knesset speaker announced a roll-call vote, to the sound of jeers. One by one, the coalition members stated “In favor” while the opposition members all rose from their seats, some pounding their fists, others calling out “Shame!” and stalked out of the plenum, refusing to vote. “There is no prime minister in Israel,” Yair Lapid, the head of the opposition, said to reporters outside. “Netanyahu has become a puppet on a string of messianic extremists.”
As soon as the vote passed, 64-0, lawmakers made a beeline to Levins desk, where, beaming, they took selfies with him. Few noticed the man who rose from his chair, folded his eyeglasses and, looking “mortified,” as one observer put it, quietly made for the doors.
**Netanyahu thinks of** himself in Churchillian terms. He would like to be remembered as the leader who faced down the Iran menace, the savior of Israel in the face of forbidding odds for the Jewish people. But the countrys 75th year will be noted for something quite different. Its democracy is dimming; the public has never been more divided. Netanyahu has pushed Israel to the brink, gradually and then suddenly.
In 1996, when he first moved into the prime ministers residence, Netanyahu was 46, broad faced, with appealing asymmetrical eyes (one hooded, the other wide open) — the first head of the country to be born after its founding, in 1948, and one who brought an unapologetic outlook toward Israels occupation of the West Bank. Now 73, he is besieged on multiple fronts. He [stands trial in three cases of corruption](https://www.nytimes.com/2022/11/03/world/middleeast/netanyahu-corruption-charges-israel.html) that were rolled into one indictment in 2019 — charges he denies. Though his wife, Sara, is not a defendant, two of the cases feature her. Reports of their dealings, and those of their elder son, Yair, have the trappings of a royal soap opera: a steady supply of Champagne, cigars and expensive jewelry; demands for fawning press coverage; flagrant interference in matters of appointments and policy. These days, his gait is halting; his shoulders are hunched. His eyes sag. Try as his aides might, they have no way to spin this: The man looks exhausted.
The judicial overhaul has now jeopardized every one of his perceived accomplishments, including Israels economic success and its international standing. Netanyahu is “in a Job-like state,” Nahum Barnea, a veteran columnist for Yedioth Ahronoth, told me. His coalition members embarrass him on a daily basis. His legal woes are mounting. On top of which, Barnea added, “He cant travel to the White House, and its killing him.” (Netanyahus meeting with President Biden on Sept. 20 was the first since [Netanyahus re-election](https://www.nytimes.com/2022/11/03/world/middleeast/israel-netanyahu-election.html) last November and came on the sidelines of the United Nations General Assembly.) Still, many who know Netanyahu well rebuff the suggestion that he is losing control. “Thats like saying that Orban or Erdogan has lost control,” a former senior aide to Netanyahu told me recently.
But while the judicial overhaul is unpopular — only one in four Israelis wants it to proceed, according to a recent survey by the Israel Democracy Institute — it hasnt diminished the passion of Netanyahus core supporters. In a recent poll measuring suitability to lead the country, he and Benny Gantz, who heads the centrist National Unity party, were tied with 38 percent each. (By comparison, Lapid, the current opposition leader, trailed them with 29 percent.) For vast parts of the country, from the Jewish settlements in the West Bank to ultra-Orthodox enclaves to Israels impoverished development towns, he remains “King Bibi.”
His status is such that his personal base of supporters is far greater than that of his party. Campaign posters from 2019 showed him shaking hands with Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin, with the caption “Netanyahu: A Different League.” For his electorate, he is exactly that: a once-in-a-generation leader, suave and polished, speaking a refined American English, and also a bare-knuckled sabra who has shown no qualms about taking on Barack Obama, the Palestinian leadership and the U. N. Security Council. “He has turned himself into a symbol for entire sectors of the public that are drastically different from him but that are willing to die for him,” Zeev Elkin, a former Likud minister under Netanyahu who is now chairman of National Unity, told me.
Netanyahu is secular and Ashkenazi (of Jewish European origins); he comes from a liberal milieu in Jerusalem that is similar to the social elites against which he, and his voters, rail. He is erudite, thorough, lonesome and vengeful. He is prone to grandiloquence, but then so are his admirers: “I look at Bibi and think that hes a rare man, and we should thank God every day for giving us such a gift,” Benny Ziffer, a friend of his, told me.
One of Netanyahus main achievements in office has been overseeing Israels transformation into a country with one of the highest per-capita investments in start-ups in the world; a second has been forging relations with the United Arab Emirates, Bahrain, Sudan and Morocco. Each achievement has asterisks attached. In the early 2000s, he served as finance minister in the government of Ariel Sharon; he spurred growth in part by slashing large annual subsidies to the ultra-Orthodox. He then led Likud to its worst-ever defeat in an election. Lesson learned: Never again would he dare cross the Haredim, or ultra-Orthodox. As prime minister, Netanyahu has since doled out more annual subsidies and additional inflated budgets to the Haredim than any leader before him. A Haredi family in which the father is unemployed (as more than half of Haredi men are) now receives four times more financial assistance than a non-Haredi Jewish household, one research institute found.
Admirers credit Netanyahu with “changing the paradigm” around the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, Boaz Bismuth, a Likud lawmaker, told me. Netanyahu did so by effectively bypassing the Palestinians and signing normalization agreements with other Arab countries in the region. But those agreements, known as the Abraham Accords, are the diplomatic end result of an arms deal in which Israel would provide nearly all signatories with [licenses to its powerful cybersurveillance technology Pegasus](https://www.nytimes.com/2022/01/28/magazine/nso-group-israel-spyware.html), as an investigation in this magazine revealed last year. “He made use of knowledge and technologies to get closer to dictators,” a former senior defense official told me. A normalization agreement with Saudi Arabia, which Netanyahu is eager to advance, would be even more consequential. But such a deal would entail concessions to the Palestinians, something that his extremist coalition partners would no doubt torpedo.
Netanyahus impressive endurance in office is, in part, a reflection of his enlarged base. The Likud electorate has historically been the Mizrahi (Jews of Middle Eastern and North African descent), the religiously observant, the noncollege-educated and the poor. But it has expanded to include Israelis who support his conservative economic agenda and others who cite his reluctance to go to needless wars and his international connections, Mazal Mualem writes in “Cracking the Netanyahu Code.” Netanyahu has refashioned Likud from a hawkish yet liberal party into a populist party wholly in his thrall.
But a broadened Likud base, even when combined with ultra-Orthodox allies, still doesnt amount to a majority in Parliament. For that, Netanyahu turned to the far right. Last year, he orchestrated an [alliance between two competing hard-right factions](https://www.timesofisrael.com/netanyahu-meets-ben-gvir-smotrich-in-bid-to-press-far-right-merger/) in order to guarantee that their joint list made it to the Knesset and into his governing coalition. One faction, led by Bezalel Smotrich, an ultranationalist zealot and Israels current finance minister, represents the interests of the growing settler movement, which numbers more than 600,000 in the West Bank, including East Jerusalem. The second, headed by Itamar Ben-Gvir, a man [convicted of support for a terrorist organization,](https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2023/02/27/itamar-ben-gvir-israels-minister-of-chaos) is an offshoot of a virulent racist movement founded by the Brooklyn-born rabbi, Meir Kahane. Under Netanyahu, the Israeli left has not only diminished but is regarded by much of Israeli society as illegitimate: not Jewish enough, not patriotic enough.
“There has always been this dualistic element in covering Netanyahu,” Shalev, the Walla journalist, says. “Netanyahu the politician versus Netanyahu the statesman; the responsible Netanyahu versus the corrupt Netanyahu; Netanyahu in English versus Netanyahu in Hebrew; Dr. Netanyahu, Mr. Bibi. There was always this dissonance. But he managed to synchronize it so that you at least knew what his goals were.” She went on: “At the start of this government, Bibi laid out four goals” — preventing a nuclear Iran, restoring security, bringing down the cost of living and expanding Israels diplomatic ties — “and every day something happens that is counterproductive to those goals. You no longer understand what he is doing.”
If the various components of the judicial overhaul pass, Israeli democracy will be in peril: The courts will be powerless, a government-appointed authority will be tasked with overseeing broadcast media, a parallel system will be set up for the ultra-Orthodox, who will be exempt from military conscription and whose children will receive only minimal education in core subjects such as math and science. The experiment of finding a balance between the Jewish and the democratic aspects of the state will be tipped toward the former.
Netanyahu, more than anyone, is responsible for this transformation: a leader whose blend of staying power, deep suspicions and legal entanglements have hollowed out the political discourse in his country. These days, Israeli society can be seen as a reflection of Netanyahu and his neuroses; an entire political class is now devoted to burrowing into his psyche for clues on how far he is willing go.
Netanyahu declined to speak to me for this article. In response to a detailed fact-checking request, Netanyahus office offered only this statement: “Your questions indicate a malicious and farcical hit job aimed at smearing a strong conservative Israeli prime minister. Such a compilation of regurgitated and tired lies — all of which have previously been discredited — is not worthy of our response.”
But in speaking to more than 50 people around Netanyahu — childhood acquaintances, friends, current and former associates, outside observers, critics and biographers, some of whom asked to remain anonymous to talk about sensitive matters — what emerged was a portrait of a remarkable yet flawed man whose vision for Israel has become clouded by self-interest; a leader who has fallen prey to the idea that, in the words of his wife, “Without Bibi the country is lost.”
**Cela Netanyahu** predicted that her middle son, nicknamed Bibi after a cousin with the same name, would become a painter. The historian Benzion Netanyahu told an interviewer in 1998 that his son was suited for the role of foreign minister. (The compliment was barbed: Netanyahu was already prime minister at the time.) In “Bibi: My Story,” his 2022 memoir, which he wrote longhand in English, Netanyahu underplays his privilege: military service in the elite Matkal Unit; university studies at M.I.T.; a job at the prestigious Boston Consulting Group. “I had taken all these decisions with an attitude of What the hell, lets give it a try and see what happens,’” he writes.
Tragedy soon brought his life into focus. On July 4, 1976, as the United States celebrated its bicentennial, an Air France flight taking off from Tel Aviv was diverted to Entebbe, [Uganda, by Palestinian and German terrorists.](https://www.nytimes.com/1976/07/11/archives/drama-in-hijacking-of-jet-to-uganda-a-long-week-of-terror-and.html) An Israeli commando force raided the airfield where the hostages were held. More than 100 hostages were successfully liberated, but an Israeli officer was killed in the rescue. Netanyahu was living in Boston at the time with his then wife, Miki Weissman, whom he started seeing while both were still in high school. He went by the name Ben Nitay and worked as a consultant. That summer night, the couples phone rang. As he picked up the receiver, he recalls in his memoir, he told Miki: “Its Iddo, to tell me that Yoni is dead.” His premonition proved right. Iddo, his younger brother, was on the line from Jerusalem. Yoni, their older brother, had been killed in the raid.
Bibi and Yoni shared an extraordinary bond. “I think I love him more than anyone else in the world,” Yoni wrote in a letter to his girlfriend in 1964. At times, they were each others sole family. Their parents left Israel with them when they were young, after Benzion failed to secure an academic position. They resorted to a lengthy American exile, with Benzion working first at Dropsie College in Pennsylvania and later at Cornell. The parents were notoriously absent, spending months abroad and leaving Netanyahu with friends.
“Bibi spent the whole summer in Israel alone when he was 13, and they didnt bother calling him more than once,” someone who knew him as a child recently recalled. Bibi “was different from all of us from a very young age in his over-independence,” he went on. “What you see is a lonely person. He didnt have this thing that the rest of us had” — a warm parental presence.
Benzion, who died in 2012 at age 102, was an intransigent, difficult man. But the boys “worshiped him,” Dan Netanyahu, a cousin, told me. For Bibi, “the image of the father remains a guiding light,” his friend Ziffer says.
As a young man, Benzion evangelized the views of Zeev Jabotinsky, the leader of the right-wing Revisionist movement. Jabotinky believed in territorial maximalism, which he considered a “revision” to the too-compromising interpretation of Zionism advocated by the countrys founding generation. He viewed Jewish history as an ongoing series of catastrophes. Toward the end of the Second World War, he “regarded the Palestinian leadership as a continuation of the Nazis — the embodiment of evil,” Adi Armon, a scholar of Jewish history and author of essays on the elder Netanyahu, published in Haaretz, told me. Bibi has inherited much of his fathers pessimistic worldview. Friends recall him warning against Israels peace treaty with Egypt, which became a singular diplomatic and strategic milestone.
He also took on his fathers resentments. “Netanyahu presents this impressive combination of a strongman whos also a victim,” Barnea says. Its a paradox typical of right-wing leaders in the West, Barnea adds, but in Netanyahus case, “I think it truly represents what he thinks of himself.”
The night in 1976 when he heard of Yonis death, Bibi drove seven hours to Ithaca, N.Y., to break the news to his parents. Benzion greeted him with a surprised smile, but “when he saw my face, he instantly understood,” Netanyahu writes in his memoir. “He let out a terrible cry like a wounded animal.” The Netanyahu family founded a think tank in Yonis name, the Jonathan Institute, for the study of terrorism. The institute would lend Netanyahu gravitas and connections; it would also help start his political career. People who knew Netanyahu at the time say that were it not for Yonis death, they doubt whether he or his parents would even have returned to live in Israel.
To ease his foray into politics, Netanyahu took up work as a marketing executive at one of Israels largest furniture manufacturers. The decision appears to have been mostly financial. But the salesman in him, who pitches people using hyperbole and deception, has never quit. His stage presence and his easily digestible, good-versus-evil outlook on the Middle East set him apart when he began his career as a young diplomat. By 1982, he was back in the United States, serving as deputy ambassador to Washington during the early years of the Reagan administration. The jingoism of that time has remained a Netanyahu trademark: “It is not the Jews who usurp the land from the Arabs, but the Arabs who usurp the land from the Jews,” he writes in his memoir, adding, “The Jews are the original natives, the Arabs the colonialists.”
In 1984, Netanyahu was named as Israels permanent representative to the United Nations, and he later threw himself into defending the right-wing policies of Yitzhak Shamir, the prime minister, with gusto and skill. He became a fixture on “Nightline” and U.S. news, learning to present his best side to the camera: the one that hid the scar on his lip (a result of a childhood game involving an electric socket). During one memorable appearance, at the height of the gulf war, air-raid sirens sounded while he was on the air from Jerusalem. Rather than cut the interview short, Netanyahu — ever attuned to ratings — suggested that they keep rolling with gas masks on. Larry King told Vanity Fair that women used to stop by the studio to inquire about his dashing guest from Israel.
Netanyahus first marriage ended when Miki, pregnant with their daughter, discovered that he had been carrying on an affair with Fleur Cates, a British-German student he had met at Harvard Business School. He and Cates — who, the Israeli tabloids were scandalized to note, was not Jewish when they met — married in 1981. After Netanyahus stint at the United Nations ended, in 1988, the couple moved to Tel Aviv. They lived rent-free in a seafront apartment belonging to the Australian billionaire John Gandel, two independent sources told me. This was an early indication of Netanyahus cozying up to moneyed friends, a pattern that would come back to haunt him. His thriftiness is, by now, infamous. “He is stingy to the point of extreme,” Uzi Arad, Netanyahus former national-security adviser, who has since turned into a critic, told me. “He cannot pay for his lunches!” A former employee of Benzions recalled of Bibi, with whom she also worked for a while, “He was a person who walked around without a wallet.”
As Netanyahu and Cates settled in Tel Aviv, Netanyahu quickly established himself on the Likud roster. He showed little reverence for party seniority. “His innovation was that he moved from the outside in,” Elkin, the former Likud minister, told me. He set up marathon sessions with many of the 2,500 voters who made up the committee that determined the partys list for Parliament.
But he soon encountered a problem: A group of well-connected and much admired second-generation politicians, known as the Likud “princes,” had their own ambitions. They included Ehud Olmert, Dan Meridor and Benny Begin. “One day I get a phone call, and its Bibi,” Olmert recalled recently. “He wants to come see me. So I meet him, and he tells me: Listen, there are only two people who can run this country. Me and you. Lets make a deal. I dont need more than one term. Ill take a term, and you take a term. He tells me, Just dont go against me. I told him: What are you talking about? Is this a private bargain? Besides, Im in no rush. So we say goodbye, and I tell him that I support him.” A few days later, Olmert says, he recounted that conversation to Meridor. Meridor told Olmert: “He told *me* that there were only two people who could run this country. Him and me.” Later, Olmert ran into Benny Begin, who said: “He told me that it was him and *me*.”
Netanyahu dispensed with the princes — one after another. He has done the same with every other rival who has threatened to gain prominence. “He always took care to decapitate those who grew strong,” Elkin told me.
By 1992, Labor had overturned Likuds political dominance. Rabin was elected prime minister and embarked on historic peace talks with the Palestinian leader, Yasir Arafat. A year later, Netanyahu clinched the Likud chairmanship, ousting Shamir, his former boss. He set about excoriating the peace talks, and the subsequent Oslo Accords, every chance he had. Not that he had many: Rabin, Arafat and Israels foreign minister, Shimon Peres, shared a Nobel Peace Prize in 1994 and were exalted internationally. The Israeli media, which had previously celebrated its young, Americanized diplomat, became critical of him. “The only game in town was Oslo,” Pfeffer says.
Yet Netanyahu soon won the opinion on the street. Mass-casualty suicide bombings by Palestinian terrorists on Israeli buses and on bustling promenades turned the Israeli public against the recently signed treaty. Netanyahu presented himself as a bellicose alternative to the left-wing governments concessions. He installed himself at the sites of the attacks, lambasting Rabin. In October 1995, he gave an infamous balcony speech at a Jerusalem protest in which some protesters carried signs of Rabin dressed as a Nazi. Netanyahu later claimed that he did not witness such incitement from his perch, though other Likud politicians who were present sensed what was brewing and walked away. A month later, a Jewish extremist assassinated Rabin at the end of a peace rally in Tel Aviv.
In elections held the following year, Netanyahu defied the polls and a newly hostile press and triumphed over Peres. For right-wing voters, this was a deliverance from the Oslo debacle. For the left, there was no recovering from the bloodied circumstances that brought about his rule.
**One paradox of** Netanyahus time in office is that although he is venerated in Israel for his presence on the world stage, he has made few friends there. According to Aaron David Millers “The Much Too Promised Land,” an exasperated Bill Clinton came out of their first meeting in 1996 fuming to aides: “Who the \[expletive\] does he think he is? Whos the \[expletive\] superpower here?” Clintons secretary of state, Madeleine Albright, used to describe Netanyahu unfavorably as an “Israeli Newt Gingrich” and felt condescended to, Miller, who worked for her, has written. In 2011, President Nicolas Sarkozy of France was caught on mic complaining to President Barack Obama, “I cannot bear Netanyahu, hes a liar.” Obama responded, “Youre fed up with him, but I have to deal with him even more often than you.”
That May, Netanyahu traveled to Washington for a scheduled meeting with Obama in the Oval Office. From the outset, their relationship had been strained. During their first meeting in office, two years earlier, according to Netanyahus memoir, he expected pleasantries when Obama suddenly turned to him.
“Bibi,” he recalled Obama saying. “I meant what I said. I expect you to immediately freeze all construction in the areas beyond the 1967 borders. Not one brick!”
Netanyahu tried to deflect with the usual shtick. “Israel,” he told Obama, “is willing to begin unconditional peace talks with the Palestinians immediately.”
But Obama was undeterred. Coming from Chicago, he told Netanyahu, he knew how to deal with tough opponents. “He then said something out of character that shocked me deeply,” Netanyahu writes. He doesnt specify what it was, but in Mualems book, Michael Oren, a former Israeli ambassador to the United States, described the moment: “I know how to deal with people who oppose me,” Obama reportedly said and then made a slashing gesture across his throat.
Now Netanyahu was stunned again. The day before they met, Obama reiterated in a speech his demand for Israel to withdraw from the occupied territories in the West Bank.
“I was absolutely furious,” Netanyahu wrote. In front of a roomful of reporters, he seemed to lecture Obama, saying, “Its not going to happen.”
Obama was understandably dubious when, in 2013, John Kerry, his secretary of state, pressed him to begin peace talks between Israel and the Palestinians. Still, Obama told Kerry to proceed. The issue of Palestinian refugees became a major flashpoint. At stake was whether Israel would grant refugees who had fled or been expelled from the country during its war for independence in 1948 a “right of return,” as the Palestinians demanded.
Speaking via video conference from Paris, Kerry and Martin Indyk, the U.S. special envoy for Israeli-Palestinean negotiations, proposed to Netanyahu that Israel would take in a symbolic number of refugees and contribute to a fund that would provide further compensation. Netanyahu then asked to take a break. When it was time to resume, half an hour later, the Israeli negotiators “came into the room, and said, Were very sorry, the prime minister is indisposed,’” Indyk recalls. Netanyahu had reportedly gone over the details of the refugee agreement with his media adviser, who told him that it was a “complete disaster” and that the Israeli public “would never accept it,” Indyk says.
“It was at that point that he apparently had a breakdown,” Indyk adds. “The pressure came not because we were putting the screws on him, but because he was thinking of the politics of it and how he would try to sell it.” This wasnt the first time that Netanyahu had taken ill at critical junctures. At least a dozen people, including his friend Ziffer, told me about health problems he has experienced when he was under intense pressure.
In the summer of 2013, U.S. negotiators drew up a document that would serve as a basis for a final peace deal. Its language said that Israel would retreat to its pre-1967 borders with “reality-driven swaps”: Israels largest settlement blocs would be left in place in exchange for other territory. This time, though he has never publicly acknowledged it, Netanyahu was willing to accept the terms.
Tzipi Livni, a centrist politician who served as Israels chief negotiator for peace, told me, “Netanyahu agreed to the American paper that was based on the 67 borders.” This seems almost unimaginable in hindsight: that Netanyahu, who has done more than any other leader to entrench Israels occupation of the West Bank, agreed to the framework for a historic peace agreement that would have ended it. The deal never materialized, Livni added, in part because Mahmoud Abbas, the president of the Palestinian Authority, never gave his response. Soon after the paper circulated, Abbas announced a reconciliation between his Fatah party and Hamas, which Israel considers a terrorist organization. This buried any prospects for a deal. Indyk confirmed that Netanyahu appeared open to accepting the 1967 outline. But he has since come to believe that Netanyahu never intended to follow through. “He saw the 67 language. The question was, Was he serious about it? My view is that both leaders were not serious. They were ready to blame the other.”
Biden, Indyk says, agrees. He “doesnt think Netanyahus serious when it comes to peacemaking. He admires Netanyahus political skill but is skeptical about his statesmanship.”
Talk to Netanyahus longtime observers, and you come away convinced that he is a heartfelt ideologue, his fathers son. Talk to others, and hes a calculated pragmatist. He has been compared in the Israeli press to a “weather vane” blowing with the wind. He advocated a nation-state law that relegates Arab Israelis (who make up 21 percent of the public) to second-class citizenship but was also responsible for passing an unprecedented $3 billion program to improve living conditions in Arab communities. He used to endorse a two-state solution (publicly, at least), before announcing his intention to annex parts of the West Bank when it became politically expedient. He reassured protesters that he would not pass the judicial overhaul unilaterally, then watched as his Likud base responded with outrage and announced that it would move forward anyway.
What the left “doesnt get,” a source close to Netanyahu says, “is that hes very flexible, and he will switch, but for him there are issues and then there are politics.” The source adds: “Iran is the big issue for him. His thinking is, Everything else I have to navigate to thwart that danger; if Im not here, then I cant deal with this big issue. Saudi Arabia is also very big for him right now. Principles are big issues, and the rest is pragmatism.”
The most consistent he has been on any issue is on the prospects of a nuclear Iran. But that has proved a colossal failure. At least three former Mossad chiefs have called Netanyahus actions on Iran dangerous. In 2015, he blindsided Obama by speaking out in Congress against the United States [signing “a very bad deal” with Iran,](https://www.nytimes.com/2015/07/15/world/middleeast/iran-nuclear-deal-israel.html) even though a deal was imminent and Democratic support was all but ensured. In fact, according to Indyk, while Netanyahu knew that the United States and Iran had been negotiating, he himself was blindsided by the nuclear agreement. “He was screaming at Kerry the day after the framework deal was announced,” Indyk says. “He was furious.” Three years later, at Netanyahus urging, President [Trump pulled out of that agreement](https://www.nytimes.com/2018/05/08/world/middleeast/trump-iran-nuclear-deal.html). Iran now has enough enriched uranium to produce “several” bombs, the director-general of the International Atomic Energy Agency warned earlier this year. Irans enrichment is “100 percent the result of the U.S. pulling out of the agreement,” Tamir Hayman, a former Israel military intelligence chief and the managing director of the Institute for National Security Studies, told me. Hayman called the pullout from the deal a “grave mistake,” adding, “We retreated from Plan A without having a Plan B in place.”
Elkin, the former Likud minister, believes that Netanyahus sole governing ideology is his own survival. “He began with a worldview that said, Im the best leader for Israel at this time,’” Elkin says. “Slowly it morphed into a worldview that said, The worst thing that can happen to Israel is if I stop leading it, and therefore my survival justifies anything. From there, you quickly reach a worldview of The state is me. He believes in it wholeheartedly.”
**Its impossible to** grasp Netanyahus complex brew of self-regard and insecurity without understanding his marriage to his third and current wife, Sara. In one astonishing recording from 2002, released by the public broadcaster Kan, Sara can be heard lashing out at those who have criticized her husband: “Bibi is bigger than this country!” she declares. “People here want to be slaughtered and burned? Why should he even bother? Well move abroad, and the whole country can burn.”
In reporting for this article, I tried to resist the “family narrative” that characterizes much of the reporting on Netanyahu, which presents him as a kind of pawn, an unwitting captive of his wifes and elder sons demands. But while its conclusion may be faulty, implying that Netanyahu is somehow subservient, I have become convinced that his family plays a significant role in his decision-making and, ultimately, in how the country is run. The stories range from the salacious to the serious: from allegations that Sara had routinely underpaid, overworked and verbally abused employees of the prime ministers residence to reports in The Washington Post that she used to take suitcases of dirty laundry on her husbands official flights to Washington so as to enjoy the free dry-cleaning services offered to official guests of the White House. Netanyahu has denied all of these claims.
He met Sara Ben-Artzi in 1988 on a layover at Amsterdams Schiphol Airport. She was 30 and a flight attendant; he was 39 and Israels deputy foreign minister. They went out on several dates, but according to Ben Caspits “The Netanyahu Years,” there was no great chemistry. Soon after that, he told friends that they broke up. By 1991, they had reunited. They married in March of that year at his parents house in Jerusalem; Sara was visibly pregnant.
Two years later, Netanyahu shocked the nation when he went on the air and confessed to having cheated on his new wife. In the aftermath of the affair, there were reports in the Israeli press about rumors that Sara had agreed to take him back only after making him sign some sort of secret agreement stipulating that he could not have contact with other women without her knowledge and could go hardly anywhere without her. She also intervened at work. “Sara was shot into the Prime Ministers Office as from a cannon,” Caspit writes in his book. The former senior aide to Netanyahu told me, “Our whole goal was to build a layer of defense around Bibi to protect him from Saras madness and allow him to do his work.” The portrait that emerges from such stories is of a scorned, grifting, raging woman. In various successful lawsuits and investigative reports over the years, this portrait appears to bear out.
Since his indictment in 2019, Netanyahus bond with Sara seems to have hardened. In their view, they are victims of a state plot to unseat them. The state prosecution claims that from 2011 to 2016, Netanyahu accepted a steady supply of cigars, cases of Champagne and jewelry from [Arnon Milchan, an Israeli film producer in Hollywood,](https://www.nytimes.com/2023/06/24/world/middleeast/israel-netanyahu-corruption-milchan.html) and James Packer, an Australian billionaire. In exchange for these presents, estimated to have been worth hundreds of thousands of dollars, the prosecution says that Netanyahu lobbied U.S. officials to help Milchan renew his U.S. visa and tried to lighten his tax burden in Israel. (Milchan and Packer are not on trial, and Packer has not been accused of a quid pro quo.) A former Netanyahu spokesman who turned state witness in 2018 told prosecutors that he had learned of “a method, lets say, in which, on every visit abroad, the Netanyahu family was attached to a walking credit card on two legs” — meaning to local benefactors.
In 2021, an unusual video went viral in Israel. Set against a black background, it featured the account of a man named David Artzi. Artzi, the former deputy head of Israel Aerospace Industries, met with David Shimron, Netanyahus cousin who was then his private lawyer in 1999. Shimron, Artzi claimed, had recently been fired by another client, and in trying to illustrate to Artzi that he was still in demand, he brought up his work with Netanyahu. He opened his briefcase and pulled out a contract that he had drawn up between Sara and Bibi. “So I read it over carefully, slowly, slowly, and I almost faint,” Artzi recalled. It was 15 pages long and, according to Artzi, stated that “he would have no credit cards, only she would, and that if he needed money she would give it to him in cash.” It also outlined Saras veto power over appointments including the militarys chief of staff, the head of Shin Bet and the head of the Mossad, Artzi said. Shimron denies Artzis account and has since sued him for libel. In testimony early this year, Sara Netanyahu said that “this agreement did not exist,” and Netanyahu called Artzis account a “gross lie.”
But the former senior defense official said he was convinced of Saras power. He told me that he had spoken to someone who had witnessed Netanyahu grilling a candidate for a sensitive role about personal “loyalty.” The former Netanyahu spokesman told the investigative program “Hamakor,” “There is an agreement that the innermost appointments in the bureau dont pass without a green light from Sara Netanyahu.”
However shaky the beginning of their relationship, by now there is no question that Netanyahu is deeply committed to his wife. Pfeffer, Netanyahus biographer, told me: “Sara is the most hated woman in Israel. If he divorced her, he would probably be more popular. He loves her. Shes a problem in many ways, but he also relies on her.” He works tirelessly to clear her name and to get her the plaudits he feels she deserves. His efforts have embroiled him in one of the corruption cases for which hes under indictment.
Known in Israel as Case 4000, it details allegations that, in exchange for giving the owner of the news site Walla regulatory benefits, Netanyahu had sought favorable coverage for himself and his family, claims that the defendants have denied. Many of the demands, according to the indictment, had to do with Sara. (Walla ran stories about her “fashionable makeover,” lighting Hanukkah candles with Holocaust survivors and attending a Mariah Carey concert.)
Critics of Netanyahu argue that his insistence on forging ahead with the judicial overhaul stems from his legal woes. Netanyahu and his inner circle reject the argument. But Elkin, the former Likud minister, recalled that Netanyahu summoned him to his office in 2020, as his trial got underway. Earlier, Netanyahu signed a power-sharing agreement with the centrist Gantz, whereby he would serve first in rotation as prime minister and Gantz would serve second. Now Netanyahu told Elkin that he wished to renege on that agreement. “I was very much opposed, and told him why,” Elkin says. “He listened and nodded and then he said something I will never forget. He said, If I dont call an election now, I wont get to nominate the next state prosecutor. He was willing to risk *everything* just to save his own skin.”
**If you were** to identify a turning point in Netanyahus 16-year rule, the election of 2015 would be it. The previous year, Netanyahu called for the dissolution of Parliament over disagreements with his center-left coalition partners, including their attempts to pass a law that would curb the influence of a free newspaper bankrolled by the U.S. mogul Sheldon Adelson that was widely seen as friendly to Netanyahu. That decision reflected his growing obsession with his own press coverage and a sharp rightward turn in his political calculus. Told by the news media and many advisers that he was facing defeat, Netanyahu ended up winning that election decisively — thanks in large part to a by-now infamous video in which he warned against the voting rights of a fifth of the public: “Arab voters are coming out in droves to the polls. Left-wing organizations are busing them out.” Netanyahus scare-tactics campaign that year was the brainchild of his son Yair, together with two of Yairs friends from the military spokespersons unit who now run Netanyahus social media strategy.
Two days after the election, according to Netanyahus former senior aide, “he called his advisers into a meeting and told them that one person was in charge of this victory. Then he turned to Yair. Some people in the room were shocked.” Before that night, the former aide continued: “Sara and Yair kept telling him that he was all-powerful, but he didnt think so. He was like me and you. After that win, he really started to believe that he was above the country.” That year, Netanyahu not only served as Israels prime minister but also held the positions of foreign minister, health minister and communications minister. “He no longer speaks in years but in decades,” the columnist Yossi Verter wrote in Haaretz.
With Yairs backing, Netanyahu realized that by playing to his bases resentments, he could simply write off the political center. His close adviser Natan Eshel admitted as much. “This public — I call it the non-Ashkenazi camp — what gets it going?” Eshel said in a tape released by the magazine program “Uvda” in 2020. “Weve managed to fuel this, this hate. Its what unites us.”
Long before the invention of Trumpism, there was Bibism. It, too, has been marked by a strain of grievance politics and a galvanizing of the ranks against perceived elites. But the election of Trump, which happened to coincide with the start of the police investigations into Netanyahu, has bolstered Netanyahus confrontational styles. With Trump, in general, “Netanyahu got everything he wanted,” Amit Segal, a political reporter for Channel 12, told me in 2021. Israel got a pass on settlement construction in the West Bank and signed normalization accords with four Arab states; the United States withdrew from the Iran agreement and [moved its embassy to Jerusalem.](https://www.nytimes.com/2018/05/13/world/middleeast/jerusalem-embassy-israel-independence.html) “Our years together were the best ever for the Israeli-American alliance,” Netanyahu writes in his memoir.
Netanyahus attacks on the courts have since grown constant (“ginned-up cases”; “attempt to overthrow the government”), as have those on veteran Israeli journalists (“a woman of the extreme left”; “ leaders of an orchestrated rebellion”). In recent years, he has shunned Israeli mainstream media, opting instead for Facebook Live videos and frequent “exclusive” interviews with Channel 14, a media outlet that he has personally helped elevate into one of the most-watched news programs in the country. His inner circle has changed, too, from an abundance of freethinking policy advisers to a narrow group of loyalists. Behind all these decisions, insiders say, lurks the figure Yair Netanyahu.
In a country in which the American alt-right is largely unfamiliar, Yair Netanyahu is a fan of Breitbart News, Mark Levin and Ben Shapiro. He is embraced by the Fidesz party of Viktor Orban in Hungary, where earlier this year he attended a conference on the media and denounced a “global elite” and a state of “Sorosization” with seemingly little awareness of the antisemitic overtones. At 32, he has never held down a job that wasnt directly connected to his father.
Whatever caution Netanyahu still possesses in attacking opponents is wholly lacking from his sons arsenal of obscenities. Yair has tweeted that two Israeli news channels were an “existential threat to the State of Israel as much as Iran!” and compared protesters against the judicial overhaul to Nazi storm troopers. Yair reportedly urged his father to push through the controversial legislation despite wide public disapproval. This spring, after heated arguments at home, Bibi and Sara ordered Yair off social media, according to reporting by Shalev, the Walla journalist. His Twitter presence went down to zero posts a day from 77. And then, for the next couple of months, Yair disappeared from public view. He has left the country, shuttling between Puerto Rico and Miami, where, according to Caspit, he has been getting help with job referrals from Jared Kushner, Trumps son-in-law. (Kushners father, Charles, is a longtime family friend of Netanyahus.) In April, during a news conference, Netanyahu was asked about Yairs degree of influence. “Zero,” he replied.
**In mid-August,** as lawmakers scampered for their summer vacations, the Netanyahus visited the northern township Ramot, on the Golan Heights. Its a quiet, pastoral place, with rolling farmland and gravelly roads. But when Bibi and Sara arrived with a long police motorcade, a thousand anti-government protesters awaited them, carrying Israeli flags and blowing bicycle horns. Tensions were palpable throughout the country. In July, as the judicial overhaul resurfaced, Netanyahu fainted. Several days later, he was fitted with a pacemaker. Doctors revealed a history of heart problems that had been kept from the public.
In early September, Israels Supreme Court heard petitions against the amendment to strike down the courts ability to cite “extreme unreasonableness” in government decisions. For the first time in Israels history, [all 15 justices convened for a single case.](https://www.nytimes.com/2023/09/12/world/middleeast/israel-supreme-court-power-limit.html) Leading economists caution that without the standard of reasonableness, Israel will experience an increase in political and public corruption. Several Likud lawmakers have already indicated that if the court rules against the proposed amendment, they might not abide by the ruling. This would throw the country into an unprecedented constitutional crisis. On Sept. 28, the court was scheduled to hear a challenge to another law, which [protects the prime minister from being removed](https://en.idi.org.il/articles/50968#:~:text=On%20August%203%2C%202023%2C%20Supreme,Law%3A%20The%20Government%20relating%20to) from office on grounds of incapacitation. Its this law that Netanyahu is said to care about most, though there is little evidence to support his fear that he would be ousted. Israels attorney general has warned that passing the law was a “flagrant misuse” of Parliaments authority.
Still another court hearing looms. Until now, during the three years of his trial, Netanyahu has resisted taking a plea bargain, which would most likely require him to admit wrongdoing and thus avoid prison time but force him out of political life for years. His former senior aide told me that Sara wouldnt let him consider such a deal: “She is clinging to power at all costs.” Things may be different now. Next year, the prosecution is expected to wrap up its side of the hearings, and Netanyahu will be called to take the witness stand. Its a prospect he dreads. “His close associates have told me that he doesnt want to testify,” Shalev, the Walla reporter, says. “There are gaps between the things he told police and what his lawyers wrote in their defense, and he doesnt want those gaps to be exposed. It will make him out to be a liar.”
Observers who follow the trial closely say that he might accept a plea bargain this time. Especially if Israel and Saudi Arabia manage to reach a normalization agreement — an agreement that, by all accounts, Netanyahu is desperate to sign. Perhaps then the historical record will show a palpable achievement: something to distract from the crisis in his own country that he has helped engineer. For years, liberal Israelis were afraid that a right-wing coalition would come along and annex West Bank settlements. “Then came the twist,” the author Etgar Keret wrote earlier this year. “Instead, the settlers annexed the country.”
These may be the twilight months of Israels longest-serving leader, then, a feeble coda to two decades worth of power and bluster and ego.
This summer, a TikTok video that the Netanyahus posted from their vacation in Ramot piqued the ire of the protesters. The Netanyahus are sitting at a small dining table, a bottle of rosé chilling in a cooler beside them. Netanyahu wore Barbie-pink sunglasses, and took them off for the camera. “I dont see the world in rose-colored glasses,” he says smiling, in a rehearsed tone. “I want to assure you: Things are much better. Its fun to spend a few days in the Sea of Galilee!”
“And the Golan Heights!” Sara chimes in. “The country belongs to all of us.”
“Enjoy yourselves!” Netanyahu says.
---
Ruth Margalit is a contributing writer living in Tel Aviv. She last wrote a cover story about a decade-old murder that has consumed Israel.
A version of this article appears in print on  , Page 41 of the Sunday Magazine with the headline: Bibiland. [Order Reprints](https://www.parsintl.com/publication/the-new-york-times/) | [Todays Paper](https://www.nytimes.com/section/todayspaper) | [Subscribe](https://www.nytimes.com/subscriptions/Multiproduct/lp8HYKU.html?campaignId=48JQY)
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# Bill Wattersons Life After “Calvin and Hobbes”
“Nothing is permanent. Everything changes. Thats the one thing we know for sure in this world,” Calvin says to Hobbes in the first panel of a two-panel strip that ran in more than two thousand newspapers on Monday, July 17, 1995. The two friends are in a wagon, plummeting perilously forward into the unseen—a common pastime for them. Outside the world of the cartoon, its less than half a year before Bill Watterson, thirty-seven at the time, will retire from producing his wildly beloved work. “Calvin and Hobbes,” which débuted in 1985, centered on six-year-old Calvin and his best friend, Hobbes, a tiger who to everyone other than Calvin appears to be a stuffed animal. Six days a week, the strip appeared in short form, in black-and-white, and each Sunday it was longer and in color. The second panel of the July 17th strip is wide, with detailed trees in the foreground, the wagon airborne, and Calvin concluding his thought: “But Im still going to gripe about it.”
After retiring, Watterson assiduously avoided becoming a public figure. He turned his attention to painting, music, and family life. He kept the work he made to himself; he gave few, but not zero, interviews. (When asked in an e-mail interview that ran in 2013 in *Mental Floss* why he didnt share his paintings, he replied, “Its all catch and release—just tiny fish that arent really worth the trouble to clean and cook.”) Still, now and again his handiwork appeared. He wrote twice about Charles M. Schulz, the creator of “Peanuts,” whom he never met. For the charity of the cartoonist Richard Thompson, who had been given a diagnosis of Parkinsons, Watterson illustrated three strips for “Pearls Before Swine,” by Stephan Pastis, and also donated a painting for auction. In other words, he came out for the team.
In 2014, he gave an extensive and chatty interview to Jenny Robb, the curator of the Billy Ireland Cartoon Library and Museum, on the occasion of his second show there. Robb asked if he was surprised that his strip was still so popular. “It seems the less I have to do with it, the higher the strips reputation gets!” he said. In the interview, he comes across as levelheaded, not egotistical, not very pleased with electronic devices, the Internet, the diminished size of cartoons—and also quietly intense, like the dad figure in the strip, who enthusiastically sets out on a bike ride through heavy snow. As a college student at Kenyon, Watterson spent much of a school year painting his dorm-room ceiling like that of the Sistine Chapel, and then, at the end of the year, painted it back dorm-room drab.
My ten-year-old daughter makes a detailed argument (it involves bicycles, ropes, and scratch marks) that Hobbes is indisputably real; millions of us have the more decisively illusory experience of having grown up with Watterson. But we havent! Will we be disturbed if, now that time has passed, he has changed? When word came out that Watterson was releasing a new book this year—“The Mysteries,” a “fable for grown-ups,” written by Watterson and illustrated in collaboration with the renowned caricaturist John Kascht—there was more than passing interest. There were also very few clues about the content, save that theres a kingdom in trouble, living in fear of mysteries. With a different artist, I might interpret this as an enticement, but it seems more likely that Watterson is merely averse to marketing—he did no publicity for his first “Calvin and Hobbes” collection, and fought for years to prevent Hobbes and Calvin from appearing in snow globes, on pajamas, on chip-bag clips, on trading cards. (“If Id wanted to sell plush garbage, Id have gone to work as a carny,” he once said.) Yet Calvin and Hobbes are still everywhere, and forever young. Somewhere on the outskirts of Cleveland, their creator is probably irked that his old characters are pouncing into all these reviews of this other endeavor. As Calvin put it, the universe should have a toll-free hotline for complaints.
“The Mysteries” is clothbound and black, about eight inches square, with gray endpapers. The title font looks medieval; the text font looks contemporary. Words appear on the left page of each spread: one or two sentences in black, surrounded by a field of white. The images appear on the right, taking up most of the page, framed by a thick black line. Some of the illustrations appear to be photographs of small clay sculptures alongside elements composed in graphite and maybe paint—but the materials arent specified. Think Chris Van Allsburgs “Jumanji” gone darker, crossed with Fritz Langs “Metropolis.” The characters, unnamed, are drawn from that strange eternal medieval world of fantasy: knights, wizards, a king; peasants with faces like Leonardo grotesques, wearing kerchiefs or hoods. There are forty-three sentences in total, and one exclamation point. The magic of condensation that is characteristic of cartoons is also here, in a story with a quick, fairy-tale beginning: “Long ago, the forest was dark and deep.”
It all sounds rather sombre, but also it doesnt take long to read it nine or ten times. (The illustrations, slower to process, do much of the storytelling work.) The story is: Unseen mysteries have kept the populace in a state of fear. In response, a king bids his knights to capture a mystery, so that perhaps its “secrets could be learned” and its “powers could be thwarted.” When mysteries are caught, the public finds them disappointing, ordinary. One illustration is of a vender at a newspaper stand, looking askance. Below him are newspapers with headlines such as “So what?,” “Yawn,” and “Boring.” But modern technologies begin to appear: cars, skyscrapers, televisions. Mastering the secrets of the mysteries brought about a lot of technological marvels, and made the people less fearful. Or you might say insufficiently fearful: the woods are cut down, the air becomes acrid, and eventually the land looks prehistoric, desiccated, hostile to life. In one read, “The Mysteries” is a nephew of Dr. Seusss “The Lorax.”
Its also kin to the ancient story of Prometheus, a myth we now associate with technological advancements. Prometheus took pity on the struggling humans, and stole fire from the gods to share it with them. And how has that magnificently useful fire gone for the humans? Pretty well by some measures, pretty catastrophically by others. If only humans heeded the warnings within mysteries as well as they followed the blueprints for making Teflon pans and missiles. I dont think Ill spoil the plot of “The Mysteries” if I say that the story finds a distinctive and unsettling path to its final three words, which are “happily ever after.”
“Its a funny world, Hobbes,” Calvin says, plummeting again down a hill in a wagon with his friend. “But its not a hilarious world,” he says, as they fall out of their wagon. “Unless you like sick humor,” Hobbes says after he and Calvin have both crashed to the ground.
Watterson has said, of the illustrations in “Calvin and Hobbes,” “One of the jokes I really like is that the fantasies are drawn more realistically than reality, since that says a lot about whats going on in Calvins head.” Only one reality in “Calvin and Hobbes” is drawn with a level of detail comparable to the scenes of Calvins imagination: the natural world. The woods, the streams, the snowy hills the friends career off—the natural world is a space as enchanted and real as Hobbes himself.
Enchantment! If disenchantment is the loss of myth and illusion in our lives, then what is the chant that calls those essentials back? An ongoing enchantment is at the heart of “Calvin and Hobbes.” Its at the heart of “Don Quixote” and “Peter Pan,” too. These are stories about difficult and not infrequently destructive characters who are lost in their own worlds. At the same time, these characters embody most of what is good: the gifts of play, of the inner life, of imagining something other than what is there. If “The Mysteries” is a fable, then its moral might be that, when we believe weve understood the mysteries, we are misunderstanding; when we think weve solved them and have moved on, that error can be our dissolution.
Calvin offers the means of enchantment for seeing reality properly. This is well illustrated in the June 3, 1995, daily. (The brief black-and-white weekday strips of “Calvin and Hobbes” often feel as whole as the epic Sunday ones.) Calvin is digging a deep hole and Hobbes asks why. Calvin answers that hes looking for buried treasure. Has he found any? Calvin replies, “A few dirty rocks, a weird root, and some disgusting grubs.” In the final panel, Hobbes: “On your first try??” Calvin: “Theres treasure everywhere!”
While rereading “Calvin and Hobbes” comics for this piece, I was surprised that almost all of them were not entirely forgotten. If I saw them on a crowded subway platform, I would recognize them, even after years of separation. Some of the silliest and most untethered of the strips have stayed with me the most: one in which Hobbes repeats the word “smock” again and again, just happy to say it; another in which Calvin writes down, “How many boards would the Mongol hoard, if the Mongol hordes got bored?”—then crumples up the paper.
Watterson has written, “Whenever the strip got ponderous, I put Calvin and Hobbes in their wagon and send them over a cliff. It had a nice way of undercutting the serious subjects.” “The Mysteries” doesnt entirely lack that lightness—the contrast of modern and medieval in the illustrations is often funny—but humor is not its main tool. Reading “The Mysteries” after rereading “Calvin and Hobbes” reminded me of the Brothers Grimm story “The Goblins.” Goblins steal a mothers child and replace it with a ravenous changeling. When the woman asks a neighbor for advice on how to get her child back, she is told to make the changeling laugh, because “when a changeling laughs, thats the end of him.” She makes him laugh (by boiling water in eggshells? A trick perhaps lost across the centuries), and the goblins take the changeling away and return her child. She counters tragedy with a deliberate silliness—and it succeeds, even as the dark persists. In that sense, the old strip and the new fable work best, maybe, together. Im also reminded of the strip in which Hobbes says, “I suppose if we couldnt laugh at things that dont make sense, we couldnt react to a lot of life.”
One of the cozy pleasures of “Calvin and Hobbes” is the prominence of the seasons. This was felt even more acutely when the comics appeared daily in the paper, as they did throughout my childhood, when my brother used to call the Sunday comics insert “the intellectual pages.” (Now we both read the nearly comic-free online news instead of the material papers, into which, Watterson has said, “little jokes” were placed as a respite from “atrocities described in the rest of the newspaper.”) In the fall, a leaf pile transforms into a Calvin-eating monster; in winter, Calvin sculpts a snowman swimming away from snow-shark fins; spring is rainy, and in summer the days are just packed. Time hurries along through the year, but the years never pass—a great comfort. In “The Mysteries,” times arrow cant be missed for a moment. Though the story starts in the misty forever-medieval, it quickly javelins forward. By its close, aeons have passed, and the perspective is no longer even earthbound. The book reads like someone saying goodbye. The outcome feels inevitable.
Calvin isnt the only comic-strip character who doesnt age. The characters in “Peanuts” never grow up, either. Schulz drew the strip for fifty years, and the final strip was published the day after he died. George Herriman drew “Krazy Kat” for more than thirty years, through to the year of his death, 1944. The characters in “Krazy Kat” also didnt age or really change much: Krazy Kat is a black cat forever in love with Ignatz, a white mouse who serially hits Krazy with bricks, an action that Krazy misinterprets as a sign of love. Watterson has expressed admiration for both Schulz and Herriman. Yet Watterson, after ten years, moved on to other interests.
“Schulz and Peanuts: A Biography,” by David Michaelis, makes vivid that no amount of success ever separated Schulz from his sense of himself, carried over from childhood, as a lonely and overlooked “nothing.” In 2007, Watterson reviewed the biography for the *Wall Street Journal*, and reminded readers that “Peanuts” had as much darkness—fear, sadness, bullying—as it had charm. “Schulz illustrates the conflict in his life, not in a self-justifying or vengeful manner but with a larger human understanding that implicates himself in the sad comedy,” Watterson wrote. “I think thats a wonderfully sane way to process a hurtful world.” Herriman, born in the nineteenth century in New Orleans to a mixed-race family, often presented himself, in his adult life, as Greek. It would be oversimplifying to say that Herrimans background fuelled “Krazy Kat,” just as it would be oversimplifying to say that Schulz was forever a Charlie Brown—but it would be delusional to think that the persistent situations and sentiments of those comics werent inflected by their makers lives. As Krazy Kat put it, in that magic mixed-up Kat language, “An who but me can moddil for me, but I!”
Watterson must have been working out something in his strip, too. By his own account, he had a pretty nice childhood, with supportive parents and a house that bordered a mysterious wood. Its possible that Watterson quit because he tired of the demanding work, or because hed said all he had to say, or because he was worn out by the legal battles over his characters. But maybe he just changed. Growing up is always a loss—a loss of an enchanted way of seeing, at the very least—and for some people growing up is more of a loss than for others. Perhaps part of what drove Watterson, “Ahab-like” by his own telling, back to the drawing board with his boy and his tiger day after day was a subconscious commitment to staying a child. Maybe he chose to stop publishing because, in some way, for whatever reasons, he became O.K. with growing up.
In a Sunday strip on April 22, 1990, Calvins dad tells Calvin and Hobbes a bedtime story, by request, that is about Calvin and Hobbes. All he does, pretty much, is describe, to his rapt audience, the first part of their actual day. Calvin complains that his dad ends the story too early, that he hasnt even gotten to lunchtime. His dad says the story has no end, because Calvin and Hobbes will go on writing it “tomorrow and every day after.” The friends are pleased to learn theyre in a story that doesnt end.
Heres another story, kindred to “The Mysteries,” about a knight who journeys into a dark and unknown wood. The first scene of “Sir Gawain and the Green Knight,” which is thought to have been written in the late fourteenth century, takes place in Camelot during New Years festivities. A good time, with feasting and friends, is interrupted by the arrival of a stranger: a massive knight, whose skin and hair are all green, who is dressed all in green, who is riding an all-green horse. The knight carries a huge axe and makes a strange proposal, in such a way that the honor of the whole court feels at stake. He invites someone to swing at his neck with his axe; in return, he will have a chance, a year and a day later, to swing the same axe at the neck of the volunteer, who ends up being Sir Gawain. The resonance of the story with facing the perils of a dark and unknown wood, of nature itself, is pretty clear.
Gawain chops off the head of the Green Knight, who then picks up his head; says, See you in a year; and rides away. Pretty quickly, the feasting and the merry mood return. How, I remember thinking the first time I read the tale, could this possibly end? Its not satisfying if the Green Knight is killed, or if Gawain is. Maybe both of them die, I supposed.
But no. Gawain keeps his word, despite the perilous terms. En route to his meeting with the Green Knight, in the Green Chapel, he tries to behave well with the seductive wife of the lord who graciously hosts him. Then he bravely bares his neck for the terrifying Green Knight—but he learns it was an enchantment! To me, the ending follows from both good behavior and enchantment—good behavior being something Calvin despises, and enchantment being the realm in which he is king. ♦
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# Bitter rivals. Beloved friends. Survivors.
*Deep Reads features The Washington Posts best immersive reporting and narrative writing.*
There is an audible rhythm to a Grand Slam tennis tournament, a *thwock-tock, tock-thwock* of strokes, like beats per minute, that steadily grows fainter as the field diminishes. At first the locker room is a hive of 128 competitors, milling and chattering, but each day their numbers ebb, until just two people are left in that confrontational hush known as the final. For so many years, Chris Evert and Martina Navratilova were almost invariably the last two, left alone in a room so empty yet intimate that they could practically hear what was inside the others chest. *Thwock-tock*.
They dressed side by side. They waited together, sometimes ate together and entered the arena together. Then they would play a match that seemed like a personal cross-examination, running each other headlong into emotional confessions, concessions. And afterward they would return to that small room of two, where they showered and changed, observing with sidelong glances the others triumphalism or tears, states beyond mere bare skin. No one else could possibly understand it.
Except for the other.
“She knew me better than I knew me,” Navratilova says.
They have known each other for 50 years now, outlasting most marriages. Aside from blood kin, Navratilova points out, “Ive known Chris longer than anybody else in my life, and so it is for her.” Lately, they have never been closer — a fact they refuse to cheapen with sentimentality. “Its been up and down, the friendship,” Evert says. At the ages of 68 and 66, respectively, Evert and Navratilova have found themselves more intertwined than ever, by an unwelcome factor. You want to meet an opponent who draws you nearer in mutual understanding? Try having cancer at the same time.
“It was like, are you *kidding* me?” Evert says.
The shape of the relationship is an hourglass. They first met as teenagers in 1973, became friends and then split apart as each rose to No. 1 in the world at the direct expense of the other. They contested 80 matches — 60 of them finals — riveting for their contrasts in tactics and temperament. After a 15-year rivalry, they somehow reached a perfect equipoise of 18 Grand Slam victories each.
On some slow or rainy day, when the tennis at Wimbledon is banging and artless as a metronome or suspended by weather, do yourself a favor. Call up highlights of Evert and Navratilovas match at the 1981 U.S. Open. They are 26 and 24 years old, respectively, honed to fine edges. Its as if they were purposely constructed to test each other — and to whip up intense reactions from their audiences, the adorable blond American middle-class heroine with the frictionless grace against the flurrying Eastern European with sculpted muscles who played like a sword fighter.
Evert played from a restrained conventional demeanor, with ribbons in her hair, earrings in her ears. Yet she was utterly new. Audiences had never seen anything quite like the compressed lethality of this two-fisted young woman, who knocked off the legendary Margaret Court at the age of just 15 in 1970. She was a squinteyed, firm-chinned executioner who delivered strokes like milled steel.
She had mystique. And she refused to be hemmed in. As she held the No. 1 ranking for five straight years, she reserved the right to court romantic danger with a bewildering array of famous men, not all of them suitable for a nice Catholic girl, from the surly Jimmy Connors to superstar actor Burt Reynolds — and to put them second to her career. Her composure cloaked one of the toughest minds in the annals of sport, and her .900 winning percentage remains virtually unrivaled in tennis history.
Navratilova was her inverse, a gustily emotional left-handed serve-and-volleyer who challenged every traditional definition of heroine with an edgy militancy. Her game had an acrobatic suppleness that was also entirely novel — never had a female athlete moved with such airborne ease. Or acted so honestly. Navratilova was as overtly political as Evert was popular. Her defection from communist Czechoslovakia in 1975 was an act of unimaginable bravery, and her struggle to win acceptance from Western crowds was compounded by her defiant inability to censor herself or mask her homosexuality. Advised to put a man in her box at Wimbledon, she refused. Once, when asked whether she was “openly” gay, she shot back, “As opposed to closedly?”
More prideful generations cant comprehend how in the vanguard Navratilova was when she came out in 1981 or the price she paid in lost endorsements. The New York Times that year announced that homosexuality was “the most sensitive issue in the sports marketplace, more delicate than drugs, more controversial than violence.” Male sportswriters fixated on the veins in her arms. Newsweek veered out of its way to accuse her of “accentuating some lifestyle manifesto.” She repaid them all by becoming the first female athlete to win a million dollars in prize money in a single year.
Small wonder Evert and Navratilovas matches seemed like such colossal encounters. As they competed, the TV cameras zeroed in on their faces and found mother-of-dragons expressions, a willingness to play to ashes. That too was new.
It once had been considered “unnatural” for a woman to contend with such unembarrassed intensity. As Everts own agent said in 1981, female sports stars were expected to be “ladylike” and not too “greedy” in their negotiations, while their male counterparts could win “every nickel and feel quite comfortable about it.” Not anymore. Evert and Navratilova had established their common right “to go to the ends of the earth, the absolute ends of the earth, to achieve something,” Evert says.
By the time Evert and Navratilova retired from singles play, in 1989 and 1994, respectively, they had reached a mutual understanding. Not only were they level with an equal number of major titles, but the rivalry was so transcendent, it had become a kind of joint accomplishment.
![](https://img.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/LPR6MTCAYFA3DG6OPUBGSZQVSE.jpg&high_res=true&w=2048)
Martina Navratilova, left, won her first U.S. Open title over Chris Evert in 1983. (Bettmann Archive)
After their retirements, they followed strangely similar courses. They were neighbors in Aspen, Colo., and Florida, at times living just minutes from each other. Everts longtime base is Boca Raton, while Navratilova has a home in Miami Beach as well as a small farm just up the road in Everts birthplace of Fort Lauderdale, where she keeps a multitude of chickens. “She brings me eggs,” Evert says. Each eventually went into tennis broadcasting, which meant they continued to meet at Grand Slam fortnights. “Our lives are so parallel, its eerie when you think about it,” Navratilova says.
They became the kind of friends who talked and texted weekly, sometimes exchanging black-box confidences deep in the night. And who could tease each other with a mischief they wouldnt tolerate from anyone else. On Navratilovas 60th birthday, she received a Cartier box from Evert. Inside was a necklace with three rings of white gold, signifying the two and their long friendship. “I guess Im kind of the guy in our relationship, giving her jewelry,” Evert cracks.
The parallels were funny, until they werent.
In January 2022, Evert learned that she had Stage 1C ovarian cancer. As Evert embarked on a grueling six cycles of chemotherapy, Navratilova pulled the Cartier necklace from her jewelry box and put it on, a talisman. “I wore it all the time when I wanted her to get well,” Navratilova says. For months, she never took it off.
Only one thing made her remove it: radiation. In December 2022, Navratilova received her own diagnosis: She had not one but two early-stage cancers, in her throat and breast.
“I finally had to take it off when I got zapped,” Navratilova says.
On a late spring day, Evert and Navratilova sat together in an elegant Miami hotel, both finally cancer-free at the end of long dual sieges. Evert was just a few weeks removed from her fourth surgery in 16 months, a reconstruction following a mastectomy she underwent in late January. Navratilova had just finished the last session of a scorching protocol of radiation and chemo, during which she lost 29 pounds. She toyed with a plate of gluten-free pasta, happy to be able to swallow without pain.
They were finally ready to look over their shoulders and tell some stories. New stories but also some old ones that felt fresh again or came with a new frankness.
Evert recalled the day she phoned Navratilova to tell her she had cancer.
“She was one of the very first people I told,” she says.
Wait a second.
Is Evert saying that the rival who dealt her the deepest professional cuts of her life, whose mere body language on the court once made her seethe, was among the very *first* people she wanted to talk to when she got cancer? Its one thing to share a rich history and be neighbors and swap gifts and teasing, but they are *those* kinds of confidantes?
And is the same true for Navratilova, that Evert — whose mere existence meant that no matter how much she won, she could never really win, who at one point dominated her with an infuriating superciliousness — was among the *first people* she called when she got *cancer*? Is that what they are saying?
Indeed, it is.
“When I called her, it was a feeling of, like, coming home,” Evert says.
Hang on, you say.
Go back.
![](https://img.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/3LO26XIIW55YQS7RH2CCTISDJY.JPG&high_res=true&w=2048)
Evert and Navratilova won the Wimbledon women's doubles title in 1976. (Popperfoto/Getty Images)
### Guts and glory, together and apart
They met Feb. 25, 1973, in the player lounge of a Florida tour stop. Evert, 18, was playing backgammon with a tournament official at a table by a wall. Though she had been a top player for two years by then, she was by nature shy and felt isolated by her fame and the circumscribing stereotype that came with it. Sports Illustrated would paint her as a “composite of Sandra Dee, the Carpenters, and yes, apple pie,” which she dealt with by cultivating a clamped, sardonic purse of the mouth.
Evert glanced up and saw a new girl approaching, pale and plump as a dumpling, with a guileless face beneath a mop of hair. “Hi, Chris!” she recalls Navratilova blurting.
From the 16-year-old Navratilovas point of view, it was Evert who spoke first, giving her a sweet murmured “Hi” and a small wave. *Oh, my God, Chris Evert said hello to me*, Navratilova thought. Navratilova recognized Evert from the pictures she pored over in World Tennis magazine, one of the few subscriptions she could get in her home village of Revnice, outside of Prague.
Lets stipulate that the greetings were simultaneous, the reflexive reactions of two girls who were the antithetical of mean, more sensitive than their other competitors ever realized, “both always underestimated in our empathy,” as Navratilova says. And who had the mutual desire to break the “taboo” of competition, as Evert once called it, that inhibited so many girls.
Later in the tournament, Evert spotted Navratilova again. “Picture this,” Evert says. Navratilova was walking straight through the grounds in a one-piece bathing suit and flip flops, oblivious to stares at her crisscrossing tan lines. It was Navratilovas first trip to the United States; she was granted an eight-week leave by the communist Czechoslovakian government to try her game against the Western elites, and she was determined to luxuriate in it. *Shes got guts*, Evert thought.
Their first match a month later, in Akron, Ohio, on March 22, 1973, is crystal to them both a half-century later. Though Evert won in straight sets, Navratilova pushed her to 7-6 in the first. “Five-four in the tiebreaker,” Navratilova says instantly, as soon as its mentioned, bristling, “And I actually had a set point.”
Evert had never faced anything like it. The curving lefty serve caromed away from her, and so did the charging volleys. “She had weapons that I hadnt seen in a young player — ever,” Evert says. Two things gave Evert relief: Navratilovas lack of fitness — she had put on 20 pounds in four weeks on American pancakes — and her emotionalism. “She was almost crying on the court in the match, you know, just moaning,” Evert says. Nevertheless, Evert had never felt such a formidableness from a new opponent and never would again. “Overwhelming” is the word Evert searches for — and finds. “More than any player coming up in the last 40 years.”
To Navratilova, it was equally memorable, for the simple reason that she had nearly taken a set off Evert. “For me, that was unforgettable. But, yeah, I made an impression. … I was pretty confident that I would beat her one day. I just didnt know how long it would take.”
Friendship was easy enough at first — so long as Evert was winning. She won 16 of their first 20 matches. In their first Grand Slam final, at the 1975 French Open, she smoked Navratilova 6-2, 6-1 in the second and third sets after casually sharing a lunch of roasted chicken with her.
![](https://img.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/7Z4RI7BLZ27LGNLH6SM55IN6OM.JPG&high_res=true&w=2048)
Evert defeated Navratilova in the 1975 French Open final, her second straight title in Paris. (AP)
Evert was so utterly regnant and aloof in those days she seemed to Navratilova like a castle with a moat. She had a forbidding self-containment, a stony demeanor that one competitor from the 1970s, Lesley Hunt, likened in Sports Illustrated to “playing a blank wall.”
Navratilova could not fathom how Evert cast such a huge projection with such an unprepossessing figure. “I was like, Holy s---, how does she do it? ” Navratilova remembers. Evert stood just 5-foot-6 and weighed a slim-shouldered 125 pounds. But she had a superb economy of motion — and something else. One day Navratilova watched fascinated as Evert practiced against her younger sister Jeanne Evert, who also played on the tour. Both Everts had two-handed backhands, and they wore skirts with no pockets. Which meant that to hit a backhand, someone had to drop the ball she carried in her left hand and it would bounce distractingly around her feet. As Navratilova watched, she realized with growing amusement that Chris was engaged in a subtle contest of will.
“It was kind of a mental fight,” Navratilova recalls. “Who was going to hit the first ball? Because whoever didnt hit first would have to drop their ball.” Chris never missed the chance to hit first. “It was a small thing, but it took a steely determination,” Navratilova says. “And she never missed.” It registered. By the end of the session Navratilova understood that Everts greatest weapon was “her brain.”
Navratilova herself was so mentally distractible that she would follow the flight of a bird across the stadium sky. Her thoughts and feelings seemed to blow straight through her, unfiltered. Evert could not help but be disarmed by this openhearted, unconstrained young woman who seemed hungry to experience … everything. Pancakes. Pool time. Freedom. Friendship. Fast cars.
![](https://img.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/Z6TYF425ZENMBQ7AXONPFOK6XY_size-normalized.JPG&high_res=true&w=2048)
Navratilova took the 1978 Wimbledon title by defeating Evert. (Professional Sport/Popperfoto/Getty Images)
Everts urge to befriend Navratilova won out over her reserve. Evert invited her to be her doubles partner and even took her on a double date, with Dean Martin Jr., son of the entertainer, and Desi Arnaz Jr., Martins actor friend and pop-band collaborator. The teen idols squired Evert and Navratilova to a drive-in movie.
Evert and Navratilova traveled together, practiced together, even brunched before they met in finals. “I was a tough nut to crack,” Evert observes. “But she was so innocent and almost vulnerable when she was young, I trusted being safe with her.”
Over dinners and glasses of wine, Navratilova discovered the mutinous side of Evert, which expressed itself with an unsuspected saltiness. Evert delighted in telling Navratilova scandalously dirty jokes. The outward banality of the girl hurling herself off the pedestal compounded Navratilovas outbursts of laughter. “The curtain would fall,” Navratilova says, “and the funny Chris came out. The filter was gone. The walls were gone. And thats when I realized she just kept the cards close to her chest. But she was soooo mischievous underneath it all.”
By 1976, however, Navratilova began to score more victories over Evert. In that years Wimbledon semifinals, it was all Evert could do to hold her off, 6-3, 4-6, 6-4. “I was nipping at her heels,” Navratilova says. “I was becoming a threat.”
![](https://img.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/NZCPX7ZV64WXZOW2M67N2CD47Y.JPG&high_res=true&w=2048)
Evert was No. 1 in the world in early 1977, while Navratilova was ranked second. (AP)
Which is when all the trouble started and they entered the narrowest part of the hourglass. Evert believed she had gotten too close to Navratilova. She broke up their doubles partnership. “She ditched me,” Navratilova says.
Evert did it politely, telling Navratilova she would have to find another partner because she wanted to focus on her singles. But it stung. And Navratilova knew the real reason. “Chris, by her own admission, could only be close friends with people who never had a chance of beating her,” Navratilova says.
Evert hated to play someone she cared about — hated it. “I thought, God, I cant be emotional towards these people, ” Evert says now. “… It was easier not to even know them.”
Everts on-court demeanor was a facade, developed to please her father and coach, Jimmy Evert, a renowned teaching pro at the public Holiday Park in Fort Lauderdale. Jimmy was a man of such rigor and unbending rectitude that he refused to raise his $6 hourly fee for lessons because of his daughters success. But he was not right about everything. He demanded that Chris commit to tennis to the exclusion of all else — friends were incompatible with rivals, he told her. “I was raised in a house that did not encourage relationships,” she says. And he brooked no dissent. “It was a fearful sort of upbringing,” she adds. The result was a young woman who beneath her stoicism roiled with insecurity and anxiety.
Navratilova observes that, in its way, Everts childhood was as stifling as her own had been in Czechoslovakia. “We are much more the same than different, really,” she says. “So much of it was imposed on both of us, one way or the other, with her Catholic, proper girl upbringing and me being suppressed by communism.”
Evert convinced herself that she and Navratilova had become too familiar with each other and that it cost her an edge.
So “I separated myself from her,” Evert says.
It was bad timing for Navratilova, who was feeling doubly cut off. A year earlier, she had defected. Czech authorities had increasingly expressed the ominous sentiment that Navratilova was getting too Americanized — partly thanks to her budding friendship with Evert — and she feared they were about to choke off her career.
Navratilova struggled with homesickness; concern for her family, whom she would not see for almost five years; mastering a new language (she studied English by watching “I Love Lucy” reruns); and the stresses of hiding her homosexuality. As she related in her autobiography, by the time Evert ditched her at the U.S. Open, “I was a walking candidate for a nervous breakdown.” She lost in the opening round to a grossly inferior player, Janet Newberry, and dissolved into sobs on national television.
But Navratilova emerged from the catharsis a firmer character. She watched with a mounting, gnawing dissatisfaction as Evert dominated the Grand Slams, challenged only by Evonne Goolagong. At one point, Navratilova heard Evert talk in an interview about how her rivalry with Goolagong was “defining” her.
Navratilova bridled at the statement. “I remember thinking, what about *me*?” Navratilova recalls.
When it finally came, Navratilovas breakthrough — and the role reversal — was breath-snatching. By 1981 she had developed some armor. Training with Nancy Lieberman, the former basketball great, she dropped her body fat to 8 percent. Lieberman told her she had to get “mean” about Evert and showed what she meant by being intentionally rude to Evert in player lounges. Evert would start to greet them, and Lieberman would turn her back or say frostily, “Are you talking to me?” It quietly infuriated Evert. “They werent very nice to me,” Evert says. “I mean, Nancy taught her to hate me.”
From 1982 to 1984, it was Navratilovas turn to be cold. She reached 10 Grand Slam finals — and won eight of them. In that stretch, she beat Evert 14 straight times, with an abbreviating serve-and-volley power that seemed almost dismissive. “She was in the way of me getting to No. 1,” Navratilova says. “So I kind of created that distance. She was my carrot when I was training. You know, I would imagine beating Chris. She became the villain, even though she really wasnt.”
Evert struggled not to lose heart, especially when Navratilova beat her by 6-1, 6-3 in the 1983 U.S. Open. “It was not a good feeling to know that I wasnt even in the game,” Evert says. About to turn 30, she had fallen behind in a variety of ways, from her fitness to the fact that Navratilova was using a graphite racket while she still used wood. She was also trying to sort her personal life and separated from her husband of five years, British player John Lloyd.
Navratilova paraded her triumph by whipping around in a white Rolls-Royce convertible, one of six cars in her garage. She won so much that by 1984 it made her generous again. She now trained with a more amiable tennis tactician named Mike Estep, and her partner, Judy Nelson, a former Texas beauty contestant, liked Evert and worked to repair the relationship. At Wimbledon that July, after beating Evert, 7-6 (7-5), 6-2, to even their all-time match record at 30-30, Navratilova was sensitive to Everts quiet devastation. Navratilova said sweetly into the victors microphone, “I wish we could just quit right now and never play each other again because its not right for one of us to say were better.”
“So does that mean shes retiring now?” Evert said in a news conference afterward, wisecrackery intact.
Navratilovas dominance of Evert that summer made her more of an antiheroine than she had ever been — and resulted in one of the most wounding days of her career. On the afternoon of the 1984 U.S. Open final, they had an interminably tense wait as Pat Cash and Ivan Lendl engaged in a five-set mens semifinal that went to two tiebreakers and lasted nearly four hours. There was nothing to do but stare into space or chat. Evert became starving. Navratilova, who had a bagel, split it and handed her half.
![](https://img.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/RANEGEVFECNGRS4ZK26RZEZG64_size-normalized.JPG&high_res=true&w=2048)
The 1984 U.S. Open final was one of their classic battles. (Leo Mason/Popperfoto/Getty Images)
When they finally took the court, they needed a while to find their form — and then they suddenly went into full classic mode. When Evert began to lace the court with passing shots as if she was running out clotheslines, taking the opening set 6-4, the crowd leaped to its feet and roared like jet engines.
But when Navratilova took the second set 6-4, there came a smattering of boos. As Navratilova turned the match in her favor, some grew surly. They began to applaud her errors and cheered when she double-faulted. When she won it with a knifing volley, 4-6, 6-4, 6-4, there was a barely polite ovation.
Navratilova was unstrung by the rejection. As Estep gave her a congratulatory hug, she burst into tears in his arms. “Why were they so against me?” she asked Estep. The answer: Because she had won too much against Evert. It was Navratilovas sixth straight Grand Slam victory — and the most ambivalent feeling she ever had. She buried her head in a towel, shoulders quivering.
One person knew how Navratilova felt that day: Evert. For years she had lived with the “ice maiden” label and frigidness from crowds that considered her too impassive. Goolagong, the wispy, ethereal Australian, had always been more favored by fans, to the point that on one occasion Evert came back into the locker room after a loss and flung her rackets to the floor and spat bitterly, “Now I hope theyre happy.”
Evert and Navratilova wanted to be appreciated for who they were. But it felt impossible with all the media caricatures of them as princesses, robots, “Chris America” vs. the foreigner, the delicate sweetheart vs. the bulging lesbian. “All that stuff hurt,” Navratilova says.
Evert refused to play into any of the tropes that day — or any other day. For which Navratilova felt deeply grateful. “Chris *never* did anything to make it worse, you know?” Navratilova says.
At some point in the wake of that difficult year, they struck a private agreement: They would not respond to the stereotypes or any egging on from the media or their own audiences. If either had a question about something, she would speak directly to the other, “so that we knew where we stand,” Navratilova says.
Early in 1985, Evert beat Navratilova for the first time in over two years, at the Virginia Slims of Florida. “Nobody beats Chris Evert 15 times in a row,” she deadpanned.
The renewal set up another masterpiece, the 1985 French Open final. The match is a fascinating revisit — and reveal. After they took the court, whats striking is how they had borrowed from each other, forced the other to adapt. Its Navratilova who wins some of the longest baseline rallies and Evert who presses the net first on some points. Navratilova has fully appropriated imperiousness, blond and bejeweled, diamonds in her ears, gold bracelets and rings. Evert is the one who is stripped down — her hair is shorn short, and there is nothing on her wrist but a sweatband. Its clear she had gone back to work, developed ropes of muscle in her arms and stealthily broadened her game over those two seasons of losses.
Right hand against left, they went at each other like flashing sabers.
As their rallies wore on, they played with apparent curiosity. “There had been so many matches. How do you surprise one another?” Navratilova says. “How do you find something new or different? When you know everything already?” Sometimes, as the ball flew, one of them would just nod before it landed and acknowledge that it was too good with a “Yep.”
Evert would never be better; she found ways to wrong-foot the charging, slashing Navratilova. She always had been irritated by the shoulder swagger Navratilova could show after a great point, but she was fully capable of her own show of supremacy, and she showed it here, with the head tossing of an empress and a mincy little walk that could only be called a sashay.
A point-blank volley exchange at the net, won by Evert, had broadcaster Bud Collins screaming: “OHHHHHH! Eyeball to eyeball!” On one exchange, the force of Everts shot knocked the racket from Navratilovas hand and sent her sprawling to the red clay. On match point, she lured Navratilova to the net with a short forehand, then pivoted to deliver an unfurling backhand winner up the line past a diving Navratilova, through an opening as narrow as one of her old hair ribbons. And it was over. Evert had won, 6-3, 6-7 (7-4), 7-5.
The embrace at the net is one of their enduringly favorite pictures. They threw their arms over each others shoulders, mutually exhausted yet beaming over the quality of the tennis they had just played. “You cant tell who won,” Navratilova says.
![](https://img.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/USA2SDF3ISU4MEA6OFNWJEY2FI.JPG&high_res=true&w=2048)
Their embrace at the net after the 1985 French Open final is one of their favorite images. (Jacqueline Duvoisin/Sports Illustrated/Getty Images)
It seemed as if they no longer were playing against each other so much as *with* each other. And thats how it stayed. From then on, their locker room atmosphere became more than just companionable. It was … consoling. Someone would win and someone would lose, and the loser would sit on a bench, head dangling, and the other, unable to look away, would drift over and sit down. Sometimes, hours afterward, one of them would open her tennis bag and find a sweet note in it.
“We were the last two left standing,” Evert says. “… I saw her at her highest and at her lowest. And I think because we saw each other that way, the vulnerable part, thats another level of friendship.”
In 1986, Navratilova was scheduled to return to Czechoslovakia for the first time since her defection to play a match for the U.S. Federation Cup team. “Will you come?” she asked Evert. “I dont know how theyll treat me.” Evert was nursing a knee injury, but she went. Navratilova was overjoyed to be teammates for a change. “We could be happy at the same time for once,” she says. Evert was rewarded with an extraordinary experience: She watched her friend get a standing ovation from crowds standing three deep while Czech officials stared at their shoes.
At Everts final Wimbledon in 1989, one more remarkable scene played out between them. Evert by then was flagging, her intensity worn thin. In the quarterfinals she was in danger of an undignified loss to unseeded, 87th-ranked Laura Golarsa. She trailed 5-2 in the third set, just two points from defeat. *This isnt how I want to go out*, she thought grimly. Navratilova, watching on TV in the player lounge, stood up and dashed out to courtside. She took a seat in the grandstand.
“*Come on*, Chrissie!” Navratilovas voice rang out.
Evert had just a moment to feel moved. Touched. Just then Golarsa delivered a volley. On a dead run, Evert chased it. Stretched out, pulled nearly into the stands, her backhand fully extended, Evert drove a screaming pass down the alley that curled around the net post and checked the opposite corner, a clean winner. Navratilova shrieked with the thrill of it like a little girl. Evert swept the rest of the set and won it 7-5, arguably the most astonishing comeback of her life.
“Shes got my back,” Evert says now. “Ive got hers.”
![](https://img.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/BP4KSEAU34I6HMRAFSKQY7ZSMM&high_res=true&w=2048)
The players joked with Police Constable Les Bowie at Wimbledon in 1985, when Navratilova defeated Evert in the final. (Dave Caulkin/AP)
### Cancer makes you feel alone
Friendship is arguably the most wholly voluntary relationship. It reflects a mutual decision to keep pasting something back together, no matter how far it gets pulled apart, even when there is no obligatory reason, no justice-of-the-peace vow or chromosomal tie.
Evert and Navratilova just kept finding reasons to hang on to the relationship. To the point that they became hilariously entangled in each others personal affairs. Its a fact that Navratilova set up Evert with the man who remains the most important one in her life, Andy Mill. Toward the close of Everts playing career, Navratilova knew Evert was lonely and depressed after her divorce from Lloyd, which caused Jimmy Evert to briefly stop speaking to his daughter. Navratilova invited Evert to spend Christmas with her in Aspen. She took her skiing and to a New Years party at the Hotel Jerome, where she knew there would be good-looking men in droves. That night Evert met the impossibly handsome Mill, who the next day gallantly coached Evert down a steep slope, skiing backward and holding her hands.
At the end of the week, as Navratilova packed to leave for the Australian Open, Evert appeared in her doorway. “Do you mind if I stay on for a few days?” Evert asked. Navratilova arched an eyebrow and smiled. “Sure.” With the house to herself, Evert had her first tryst with Mill, causing the gentleman to exclaim the next morning, “My God, Im with Chris Evert in Martina Navratilovas bed.” Everts 1988 wedding to Mill marked the rare occasion when Navratilova wore a skirt. Years later, Navratilova was still teasing Evert. “I should have put that bed on eBay.”
In 2014, when Navratilova wed longtime partner Julia Lemigova, she did not have to debate whom to choose as maid of honor. Evert was by her side. “But of course,” Navratilova says.
Navratilova had never properly told Evert how much her unwavering support against homophobia had meant. Especially in crucial moments such as 1990, when Australian champion Margaret Court called Navratilova a “bad role model” for being gay. “Martina is a role model to *me*,” Evert snapped back publicly. As Navratilova put it, Evert was “gay-friendly before it was okay to be.” It made Navratilovas public life incalculably more bearable. “It was more than nice,” Navratilova says now of Everts stance. “It was *huge*.” On matters of character, Navratilova says, Evert “underrates herself.”
Heres where they stood when the cancers came. Evert had just finished rearing three adored sons to adulthood and was resolutely single again, after a psychological reckoning. Her long emotional containment finally imploded in 2006: She left Mill for former pro golfer Greg Norman; a terrible mistake, the union lasted just 15 months. Determined to know herself better, she went into counseling “to figure out what makes me tick and how Im wired, why Im wired the way I am and why I have made mistakes the way I have” and emerged with a piercing self-honesty. She reestablished a closeness with Mill and reinvested herself in her second calling as a mentor to young prodigies at the developmental tennis camp she founded, the Evert Tennis Academy. At over 60, she could still go for two hours on a court with women a third her age.
Just down the freeway from her, Navratilova had found her “anchor” with Lemigova, with whom she step-mothered two daughters and cared for an assortment of animals: donkeys, goats, dogs and exotic birds, including a talkative parrot named Pushkin. One of the most broadly read great athletes who ever lived, she absorbed tomes such as Timothy Snyders account of encroaching fascism, “The Road to Unfreedom,” with a lightning intelligence that could light up a hillside.
In February 2020, a funeral notice appeared in the Fort Lauderdale papers: Mass for Jeanne Evert Dubin would be said at 10 a.m. at St. Anthonys Church. Evert had watched with mounting grief as her precious younger sister fought ovarian cancer until her arms were bruised by needles and ports and she wasted to less than 80 pounds.
Sitting in a pew was Navratilova, who would spend the next 12 hours by Everts side. She attended the graveside services, then sat with Evert and her family at home until 10 that night.
Nearly two years after Jeannes death, in November 2021, Evert got a call out of the blue from the Cleveland Clinic. Genetic testing that Jeanne had undergone during her illness had been reappraised with new study, and she had a BRCA1 variant that was pathogenic. The doctor recommended that Evert get tested immediately. The very next day Evert got a test — and she, too, was positive for the BRCA1 mutation. Her doctor, Joe Cardenas, recommended an immediate hysterectomy.
Evert called Navratilova and told her about the test and that she was scheduled for surgery and further testing. “Its preventive,” Evert told her reassuringly. On the other end of the phone, she heard Navratilova exhale, “Ohhhhhhhhh,” a long sigh of inarticulate dismay. In 2010, Navratilova had been diagnosed with a noninvasive breast cancer after making the mistake of going four years without a mammogram. Her cancer was contained — but still. Navratilova wouldnt feel comfortable for Evert until all the tests had come back.
“The first thing, the very first thing I thought of was, if Im going to go through these trenches with anybody, Martina would be the person Id want to go through them with,” Evert says. “Because shes … strong. She doesnt take any nonsense from people. She just gets the job done. And I think thats the mentality I had.”
When Everts pathology report came back after the surgery, however, she felt anything but strong: Surgery revealed high-grade malignancy in her fallopian tubes. Evert would have to undergo a second surgery, to harvest lymph nodes and test fluid in her stomach cavity, to determine what stage she was. Jeannes cancer had not been discovered until she was Stage 3; “I knew that anything Stage 3 or 4, you dont have a good chance,” Evert says.
For three days, Evert waited for the results with the understanding that they were life-or-death. “Humble moment,” Evert says. “You know, just because I was No. 1 in the world, it doesnt — Im just like everyone else.”
Evert got unfathomably lucky. The cancer hadnt progressed. Had she waited even three more months to be tested, it probably would have spread. As soon as she was able, Evert would go public with her diagnosis to encourage testing. An estimated 25 million people carry a BRCA mutation, and like her, 90 percent of them have no idea. “I had felt fine, I was working out, and I had cancer in my body,” she says.
Evert still had a hard road ahead, with six cycles of chemo, but her chances of recovery were 90 percent. Her eldest son, Alex, moved in to support her daily care and even designed a workout regimen so she could sweat out the poisons. Mill took her to every chemo treatment and held her hand. Her good friend Christiane Amanpour, also diagnosed with ovarian cancer, sent her healing ointments from Paris. Her youngest sister, Clare, flew in monthly to nurse her through the sickish aftereffects, even climbing into bed with her.
But nothing can really make cancer a collective experience; its an experiential impasse. Everyone responds differently to the treatment and the accompanying dread. Late at night, Evert would be sleepless from the queasiness and a strange sense of small electric shocks biting into her bones. She would have to slip out of bed and walk around the house, by herself with it. “Cancer makes you feel alone,” Evert says. “Because its like, nobody can take that pain from you.”
Compounding Everts sense of aloneness was the abruptness with which she had toppled from a sense of supreme athletic command to feebleness. There was one person who could understand that. “What can I do for you?” Navratilova asked. They were in a room of just two, all over again. “I can tell her my fears,” Evert says. “I can be 100 percent honest with her.”
Navratilova came by the house and called regularly, but she also knew how to “lay back.” Sometimes she would call and Evert would answer right away. And sometimes it would take three or four days before she answered. It felt, in a way, like the old locker room days when she knew Evert was laboring with a loss. “I think because we were there for each other before, we kind of knew what to do or what not to do, instinctively, even though this was a first,” Navratilova says.
In the middle of Everts treatments, a gift arrived from Navratilova. It was a large piece of art. The canvas was lacquered with Everts favorite playing surface, red clay, and painted with white tennis lines, on which a series of ball marks were embedded, including one that had ticked the white line. The piece was by Navratilova herself, who in retirement took up art. The canvas was really a portrait — of Evert, of the exquisite, measured precision of her game. A tribute. Evert immediately hung it in a primary place in her living room.
After every cycle of treatment, Evert would rebound with a tenacity that astounded Navratilova. She would plead with her doctors, “Can I get on a treadmill?” Just days removed from an IV, she would start power walking again or riding her beloved Peloton bike until she was slick with sweat. She even did light CrossFit workouts with weights. “Shes an *animal*,” Navratilova observes admiringly.
By the summer 2022, Evert was healthy enough to go back to work as a broadcaster (although with a wig), and in November she joined Navratilova in a public appearance at the season-ending WTA Finals in Fort Worth. The pair went shopping together for cowboy boots and hats, strolling through the Fort Worth Stockyards historic district. And thats when Evert delivered a piece of news that undid Navratilova. “Im having a double mastectomy,” Evert said. She explained that her BRCA mutation meant she was at high risk of developing breast cancer on top of the ovarian.
Navratilova was so affected, she burst into tears. “It was such a shock to me because I thought she was done,” she says, and as she retells the story, she weeps again. She had watched Evert go public with her diagnosis and slug her way through chemo, and she hoped she was past it. Now she would face more months of convalescence. “I knew what she was going through publicly and privately,” Navratilova says, “and it just knocked me on my ass.”
Navratilova was still grappling with Everts news when she was floored by her own cancer diagnosis. During the Fort Worth trip, Navratilova felt a sore lump in her neck. She wasnt taking any chances and underwent a biopsy when she got home. Evert got a text from Navratilova. *Can you call me as soon as possible? I need to talk to you*. Evert checked her phone and saw that Navratilova had also tried to call her. Evert thought, *Oh, s--t. Thats not good.*
Navratilovas sore lump proved to be a cancerous lymph node. Like Evert, she had to undergo multiple lumpectomies and further tests, with a frightening three days waiting for the results, worried that it had advanced into her organs. “Im thinking, I could be dead in a year, ” she says. She distracted herself by thinking about her favorite subject, beautiful cars, and browsing them online.
Which car am I going to drive in the last year of my life, she asked herself. A Bentley? A Ferrari?
The verdict when the testing came back was a combination of relief and gut punch. The throat cancer was a highly curable Stage 1, but the follow-up screening also revealed she had an early-stage breast cancer, unrelated to her previous bout. She was so stunned she had a hard time even driving herself home. But by the time Evert reached her by phone, Navratilova was in an incredulous, fear-fueled rage. “I sensed that it really pissed her off more than anything,” Evert says. “She was *mad* about it.”
“Can you believe it!” Navratilova stormed. “Its in my throat. And then they found something in my breast.”
For a minute, the two of them considered the bizarreness of both fighting cancer at the same time. Navratilova had always chased Evert, but she didnt want to chase her in this pursuit. “Jesus. I guess were taking this to a whole new level,” Navratilova said.
And then they both started giggling.
“Because it was just so ironic,” Evert says.
But then Navratilova grew serious again. She admitted to Evert, “Im scared.”
It was the same sudden whiff of mortality, the same *youre not so special after all* jolt that Evert had gotten. “As a top-level athlete, you think youre going to live to a hundred and that you can rehab it all,” Navratilova says. “And then you realize, I cant rehab this. So sharing that fear was easy — easier with her than anybody else.”
Navratilovas cancer was not as dangerous as Everts, but it was more arduous. It required three cycles of chemo, 15 sessions of targeted proton therapy on her throat, 35 more proton treatments on the lymph nodes in her neck and five sessions of conventional radiation on her breast. Navratilova arranged to do it at Memorial Sloan Kettering hospital in New York, hunkering down at a friends vacant apartment.
Unbelievably, Navratilova chose to undergo most of it alone. She wanted to protect her family from worry over her. “You just keep it in because you dont want to affect the people around you.” She also wanted to cultivate her former big-match mentality, to focus on the fight. “Even just answering the question when somebody says, Can I get you anything? it takes energy,” Navratilova says now. “And its just easier to not have to think what youre going to say or to deny help 10 times.”
The proton treatments were a series of slow singes. Her sense of taste turned to ashes, and swallowing felt like an acid rinse. As her weight plunged, she shivered on the cold medical tables, unable to get warm, to the point that she wore a ski vest to the hospital. She developed deep circles under her eyes from insomnia.
![](https://img.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/I4G6UOJNHYNTWUISMWYSS3H55M_size-normalized.JPG&high_res=true&w=2048)
Navratilova took on Mount Kilimanjaro to raise money for Laureus Sport for Good in 2010. (Chris Jackson/Getty Images for Laureus)
As the poisons mounted in her, it was as if she aged 50 years overnight. “Everything felt just *wrong*,” she says. This was a woman who had trekked up Mount Kilimanjaro at the age of 54, reaching 14,000 feet before she was felled with a case of pulmonary edema. At 65, she could still do 30 push-ups in a row. Now she needed two hands to drink a glass of water.
Evert had an almost intuitive sense of when to check up on Navratilova. Just when she would be near despair, not trusting herself to drink from a glass with one quivering hand, the phone would buzz, and it would be Evert. “What stands out is the timing,” Navratilova says. “It was always spot on. Like she knew I was at a low point. I dont know how she knew, but she did. It was like some kind of cosmic connection. Because it was uncanny.”
Evert would be briskly sympathetic and to the point. “Dont tough it out,” she would say, then just listen. There was no need for question or explanation. There was just understanding. “It was always there,” Navratilova says. “So we didnt have to, like, try to find it.”
Sometimes the only sound on the line would be two people breathing, wordless with mutual comprehension.
Evert says, “With all the experiences we had, winning and losing and comforting each other, I think we ended up having more compassion for each other than anybody in the world could have.”
![](https://img.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/NQG74HDR4W2UWEU6EBPEBUGI7Q_size-normalized.jpg&high_res=true&w=2048)
“I think we ended up having more compassion for each other than anybody in the world could have,” Evert said. (Marvin Joseph/The Washington Post)
### Their finest rally
As Evert and Navratilova finish picking over lunch salads, their senses of renewal in the Miami sunshine make them seem almost radiant. Life feels clearer, “uncluttered,” Evert says. From a distance, they cut the figures of teenagers. Evert is as neatly trim as ever, an impression enhanced by her newly grown pixie-length platinum hair. Navratilova, too, is slender as a youth. Only up close do you see lingering creases of fatigue around their eyes and sense the scars beneath their clothes and the tentativeness of their confidence.
Evert admits she is “hesitant” to say her cancer is really gone. “It could come back. Look, it could come back. Its cancer, right? Its always peripheral.” Navratilova agrees. She compares it to waking up on the morning of an important match, a Wimbledon final, with the reverse of anticipation. For the first few seconds of semiconsciousness after opening her eyes she feels peace, and then the awareness of something important and pending seeps in. And then it hits her: *cancer*. “Its always hovering,” Navratilova says. “You just put it out of sight. You go on with what youre doing.”
The way they go on is as follows. They go public with their diagnoses and accounts of treatment because all those years that they were clashing over trophies, they also had a sense of a larger public responsibility, to “the game or women athletes or women,” as Navratilova says. A sense that it wasnt enough just to be great; they also had to be good for something. “To help,” Evert says.
They work out as much as the doctors allow, maybe even a little more than they advise, at first provisionally and then with growing defiance, even though each of their bodies is “still fighting the crap thats inside it,” as Navratilova says, in her case doing just two push-ups and going skiing before her radiation was done. (“Skiing! During radiation!” Evert crows in disbelief.) They lift weights above their shoulders though the sore scars in their chests arent entirely healed, and they hit on the tennis court, though in Navratilovas case, the effort to chase a ball even two steps leaves her winded, and in Everts, it makes her feel clumsy-footed and angry, until she reminds herself, *Chrissie, who do you think are*? And then she calls Navratilova, and they both laugh at themselves in this companionable frailty.
There are statues of Arthur Ashe at the U.S. Open, Fred Perry at Wimbledon, Rod Laver at the Australian Open and Rafael Nadal at the French Open. The blazers who run the major championships have not yet commissioned sculptures of these two women, who so unbound their sport and gave the gift of professional aspiration to so many. Yet who exemplify, perhaps more than any champions in the annals of their sport, the deep internal mutual grace called sportsmanship.
But then, they dont need bronzing. They have something much warmer than that. Each other.
![](https://img.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/OB2LL7IJUFQBQEQXXXP3KQDLUQ.JPG&high_res=true&w=2048)
Evert and Navratilova traveled to Boston for an award banquet in June 2023. (Courtesy of Chris Evert)
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# Bodegas: The small corner shops that run NYC
(Image credit: Pierina Pighi Bel)
![A bodega in New York City](https://ychef.files.bbci.co.uk/976x549/p0gjrv16.jpg "A bodega in New York City")
Want to feel like a local in one of the world's most international cities? Head to these beloved neighbourhood stores spearheaded by Hispanic entrepreneurs.
I
It's 07:00 in Brooklyn's East Flatbush neighbourhood and Yovanna Melo is busy answering the phone while jotting down breakfast orders. Every morning, calls from busy New Yorkers in English and Spanish come into her *bodega* (a small neighbourhood grocery store), asking for *beiconeganchí* (bacon, egg and cheese melts), *pavo dulce* (honey turkey sandwiches) and *pan con bistec* (Cuban-style steak rolls) to help them power "The City That Never Sleeps". 
Berlin has its [Spätis](https://www.bbc.com/travel/article/20211021-spatis-the-convenience-stores-that-rule-berlin), Japan has its [convenience stores](https://www.bbc.com/travel/article/20190610-the-unique-culture-of-japanese-convenience-stores) and New York City has its beloved bodegas. According to the city's Health Department, some 7,000 bodegas dot the city, and you can hardly walk two blocks without stumbling upon one of these handy, all-in-one convenience stores that have historically been owned by members of the Hispanic community. Many are open 24/7; some feature friendly felines behind the counter; and, in a city where space is at a premium and large supermarkets can be hard to come by, all are stocked with a mixture of everyday items like eggs, tinned foods, snacks, beer, cleaning supplies, toiletries and lottery tickets. 
"What I like most about being a *bodeguera* (bodega owner) is giving people that confidence. It pleases me to know that I serve them well," said Melo, who has owned [El Vacilón](https://maps.app.goo.gl/Zxx5YneSZnmf6s4t7) (The Shindig) with her husband for 20 years since she moved to New York City from the Dominican Republic.
![Melo and her husband have run El Vacilón in Brooklyn for 20 years (Credit: Pierina Pighi Bel)](https://ychef.files.bbci.co.uk/976x549/p0gjrv3b.jpg "Melo and her husband have run El Vacilón in Brooklyn for 20 years (Credit: Pierina Pighi Bel)")
Melo and her husband have run El Vacilón in Brooklyn for 20 years (Credit: Pierina Pighi Bel)
Like so many bodegas, El Vacilón isn't just a store. Melo knows many of her customers by name, trusts them to come back to pay for sandwiches and goods if they don't have the time or money and even lets families drop their children at the shop while they run errands. These neighbourhood landmarks are also known to let customers send packages there and hold onto keys in lieu of a doorman. In fact, to truly understand how New York City runs and how it's changed with each successive wave of immigration, it's important to understand bodegas and the communities they serve. 
**The origin of bodegas** 
According to Carlos Sanabria, author of the book [The Bodega: A Cornerstone of Puerto Rican Barrios](https://centropr-archive.hunter.cuny.edu/publications/centro-press/all/bodega-cornerstone-puerto-rican-barrios-justo-mart%C3%AD-collection), these neighbourhood shops likely originated with Spanish and Cuban immigrants in the early 1900s. As Puerto Ricans began migrating to New York City in large numbers in the 1920s (after the island became part of the US in 1917), they took over the stores, which came to be known as bodegas, a Spanish word that initially meant "wine cellar" or "warehouse". While many NYC grocery stores continued to be owned by Irish, Italians, Jews, Greeks, Germans and other immigrants, these small corner shops became especially associated with the Puerto Rican community. 
Bodegas provided food from the island that was hard to find, like dried codfish, papaya and guava preserves, plantains, chorizo sausages, spices, green banana cakes and *mondongo* (tripe), among others. They also carried other items like religious candles and recordings of Puerto Rican and Latin music.
"By the late 1920s, there were an estimated 150,000 to 200,000 Puerto Ricans living in New York, and they were served by more than 200 bodegas and *colmados* (bodegas in the Dominican Republic)," writes Andrew F Smith in [New York: A Food Biography](https://rowman.com/ISBN/9781442227125/New-York-City-A-Food-Biography).
![Bodegas have long served as communal living rooms for members of New York's Latino community (Credit: David Grossman/Alamy)](https://ychef.files.bbci.co.uk/976x549/p0gjrvcq.jpg "Bodegas have long served as communal living rooms for members of New York's Latino community (Credit: David Grossman/Alamy)")
Bodegas have long served as communal living rooms for members of New York's Latino community (Credit: David Grossman/Alamy)
After World War Two, Sanabria says the Puerto Rican population in NYC increased to more than 600,000, and their bodegas began to spread from East Harlem in Manhattan and Gowanus in Brooklyn into neighbourhoods like the Lower East Side, Spanish Harlem, the Upper West Side, the South Bronx and Williamsburg. Like a communal living room, bodegas served as vital centres for Puerto Rican immigrants to socialise, get information about employment or housing, or buy goods on credit if they were short on money. 
"Bodegas became the social hub, the social network. Anything that was happening, you could find out in the bodega, even the bad rumours," said documentary filmmaker Lilian Jiménez. "Bodegueros were highly respected and people trusted them. My mother would say, 'If you ever get into trouble, run to the bodega'." 
**Bodegas today** 
Many bodegas have changed in recent decades with the city's shifting social and demographic trends. When early Puerto Rican bodega owners decided to retire, many of their children didn't necessarily want to take over the family business, so they sold their bodegas to Dominicans, who started arriving in New York City in large numbers in the 1980s*.* Today, the amount of Dominican immigrants in NYC is [nearly seven times](https://www.nyc.gov/assets/immigrants/downloads/pdf/Hispanic-Immigrant-Fact-Sheet.pdf) that of elsewhere in the US, andaccording to Christian Krohn-Hansen, author of the book [Making New York Dominican: Small Business, Politics, and Everyday Life](https://www.pennpress.org/9780812244618/making-new-york-dominican/), by 1991, Dominicans owned roughly 80% of the Latinx-owned bodegas in NYC. 
Just as their Puerto Rican predecessors did, Dominican bodegueros cater to their fellow compatriots, selling dishes like the popular *mangú* (boiled mashed plantains), *arroz con habichuelas* (rice and beans), chicken *chicharrones* (fried pork belly or rinds), *frituras* (fried treats), sausages, fried cheese and sauteed onions.
![In addition to everyday items, many Dominican-owned bodegas also serve traditional Dominican dishes (Credit: Pierina Pighi Bel)](https://ychef.files.bbci.co.uk/976x549/p0gjrvml.jpg "In addition to everyday items, many Dominican-owned bodegas also serve traditional Dominican dishes (Credit: Pierina Pighi Bel)")
In addition to everyday items, many Dominican-owned bodegas also serve traditional Dominican dishes (Credit: Pierina Pighi Bel)
Mexicans, who started arriving in large numbers to NYC in the late 1980s, also now own many bodegas. There are even some "bodegas/taquerías" that sell tacos, notes Zilkia Janer in her book [Latino Food Culture](https://www.bloomsbury.com/us/latino-food-culture-9780313087905/). Other bodegas are now owned by Yemenis and East Asians, too. 
According to the [NYC Department of Health](https://www.nyc.gov/assets/doh/downloads/pdf/cdp/healthy-bodegas-rpt2010.pdf), a bodega is now defined as any store under 300 sq m that sells milk, meat or eggs but is not a specialty store (bakery, butcher, chocolate shop, etc) and doesn't have more than two cash registers. But ask many New Yorkers and they'll offer a more colourful explanation of what makes a bodega a bodega.
"If there is not a cat, it's not a bodega," said Melisa Fuster, author of the book [Caribeños at the Table: How Migration, Health, and Race Intersect in New York City](https://uncpress.org/book/9781469664576/caribenyos-at-the-table/), referring to the many bodegueros who let their felines roam inside their stores. Back when Fuster, who is Puerto Rican, used to live in New York, she said, "I would go to bodegas for specific Puerto Rican food that I would not see at supermarkets, like *platanutres* (plantain chips), *[sancochos](https://www.bbc.com/travel/article/20230915-sancocho-a-panamanian-chicken-and-vegetable-soup)* (stews); it was a little bit of nostalgia," she recalled. 
While these uniquely New York establishments face threats like gentrification and rising rents, they continue to power the city.
![Many bodega owners let their cats roam free in their stores (Credit: Paul Matzner/Alamy)](https://ychef.files.bbci.co.uk/976x549/p0gjrvrj.jpg "Many bodega owners let their cats roam free in their stores (Credit: Paul Matzner/Alamy)")
Many bodega owners let their cats roam free in their stores (Credit: Paul Matzner/Alamy)
"Bodegas are the most resilient establishments, so they survive," said Rachel Meltzer, author of the research paper [Bodegas or Bagel Shops? Neighborhood Differences in Retail and Household Services](https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0891242411430328). "They can exist in a really small space, and adapting their products to their communities' demands is not very costly. Also, NYC is so big and dense that in a small radius around a bodega, you will have a ton of people, so it is economically viable." 
For Melo, bodegas embody the rapid pace of the city, allowing New Yorkers to dash in for a quick coffee or call ahead for a hot sandwich that's ready when you run in. 
"\[New Yorkers\] don't want to go to the supermarket because they have to stand in a long line to pay for a gallon of milk, so they go to a bodega because it's faster," she said. 
According to Radhames Rodriguez, who moved from the Dominican Republic in 1985 and now owns the [Pamela Green](https://pamelasgreendeli.square.site/) bodega in the Bronx, ultimately what makes these stores unique is the intimacy between bodeguero and bodega customer.
![One of Rodriguez's favourite parts about being a bodeguero is interacting with people from the neighbourhood (Credit: Pierina Pighi Bel)](https://ychef.files.bbci.co.uk/976x549/p0gjrvsp.jpg "One of Rodriguez's favourite parts about being a bodeguero is interacting with people from the neighbourhood (Credit: Pierina Pighi Bel)")
One of Rodriguez's favourite parts about being a bodeguero is interacting with people from the neighbourhood (Credit: Pierina Pighi Bel)
"When you go to a bodega, they greet you, ask how are you doing, how is your family doing. I already know how my customers like their coffee and their sandwiches. There is a very close integration with people," said Rodriguez, who founded the [United Bodegas of America](https://unitedbodegasofamerica.net/) (UBA) association in 2018 to offer bodegueros better access to security cameras and protection from robberies, among other purposes. 
But despite adversities, he loves working at his bodega. "For me, it is like therapy. I love contact with people. Behind the counter, I feel like Frank Sinatra singing at a concert. I love greeting and serving clients; it gives me great satisfaction," he said. 
Ask any New Yorker and they'll tell you this is a city of neighbourhoods. So for visitors, there is perhaps no better way to make this endlessly big, multicultural metropolis somehow feel like home than by stopping into your local bodega for a chat. Whether you're grabbing a morning sandwich or some late-night ramen, chances are you'll come away with a smile and feeling more like a local in the process.
*Join more than three million BBC Travel fans by liking us on* [*Facebook*](https://www.facebook.com/BBCTravel/)*, or follow us on* [*Twitter*](https://twitter.com/BBC_Travel) *and* [*Instagram*](https://www.instagram.com/bbc_travel/)*.*
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Tag: ["🗳️", "🇬🇧", "🫅🏼", "🌐"]
Date: 2023-05-23
DocType: "WebClipping"
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TimeStamp: 2023-05-23
Link: https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2023/05/21/britain-is-writing-the-playbook-for-dictators/
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# Britain is writing the playbook for dictators
During my two decades in tech Ive seen governments manufacture public outrage to serve their desire for control more times than I can count. Theres a predictable pattern that starts with a complex social problem receiving widespread attention. Everyone acknowledges the gravity of the issue. There is a rush to “do something”. 
But “something” too often involves magical thinking and specious “solutions”. Frequently, technology is painted as both cause and solution. Problems are presented as existing “online” and thus their solution is framed as technological. This almost always involves some combination of expanding surveillance and curbing the fundamental human right to privacy and free expression. 
The Online Safety Bill [is a perfect example](https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2022/07/12/online-safety-bill-could-lead-biggest-curtailment-free-speech/). Under the pretext of protecting children, its provisions could lead to the implementation of government-mandated mass surveillance applications on every UK smartphone. These would scan every message you send. 
The opaque databases and error-prone AI technology that would power this surveillance regime could lead to the mass deplatforming of millions of people based on unreliable algorithmic systems. Such a system would also introduce vulnerabilities and flaws that would inevitably be exploited by hostile states and hackers. 
While politicians have denied for months that the Bill will break encryption, the Home Office has been quite clear that it believes end-to-end encryption is enabling child abuse on the internet. 
The cynicism of this argument is made clear when we recognise that the Government has reduced support for measures protecting children that seem more likely to work. Early intervention services spending was slashed by 50 per cent from 2011 to 2021; referrals to childrens social care rose 9 per cent in 2021-22 alone. 
Theres no way to square this with the idea that protecting children is the first priority, rather than a pretext for government-mandated mass surveillance.
As written, experts agree the Bill would nullify end-to-end encryption, which Signal and other apps use to ensure that only you and the people youre talking to read your messages. 
This encryption is what stands between citizens and the criminals, scammers and (sometimes) regimes that would dearly love to have access to their innermost thoughts.
This would make Britain a global role model for repressive regimes. If the UK declares that its fine to surveil all communications, it will set a precedent others will follow. 
It will have written the playbook by which authoritarians around the world could justify similar systems, where phones could automatically report citizens to the government if they write “Hong Kong Democracy”, “Ukraine Invasion”, “LGBTQ resources” or whatever else a government decides to ban. Being the first country to mandate such systems would be a stain on Britains legacy. 
Whatever happens, Signal is committed to ensuring people everywhere have the ability to communicate privately. When the Iranian government blocked Signal, we recognized that the activists, journalists and citizens in Iran who needed privacy were not represented by the authoritarian state. We worked to set up proxies and other means to help them access Signal. 
If the Online Safety Bill is passed, we promise that we will do everything in our power to ensure that the British people have access to safe and private communications. But we [will not undermine or compromise](https://www.telegraph.co.uk/business/2023/02/24/signal-threatens-shut-britain-online-safety-bill/) the commitments we have made to you, no matter what the Government says.
However bleak the prospect, I remain optimistic that it will not come to this. The cynical and unworkable reality of the Bill is becoming clearer, and well informed politicians are moving to remedy its most troubling provisions. 
The Online Safety Bill is part of a pattern. But its a pattern we can stop here. There are real measures that the Government can take to protect children and I sincerely hope that Parliament will look to address them, rather than stripping away privacy and other fundamental rights.
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*Meredith Whittaker is president of the Signal Foundation*
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Date: 2023-03-13
DocType: "WebClipping"
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TimeStamp: 2023-03-13
Link: https://africageographic.com/stories/bull-elephants-their-importance-as-individuals-in-elephant-societies/
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# Bull elephants their importance as individuals in elephant societies - Africa Geographic
![Elephant bull](https://africageographic.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/20160320-Elephant-Khumaga-001.jpg)
Image source: Dr Kate Evans, Elephants for Africa
*Written by Dr Kate Evans, [Elephants for Africa](http://www.elephantsforafrica.org/)*
**It has long been recognised that older female elephants are pivotal to elephant ecology and herd survival (McComb *et al.* 2011; Foley *et al.* 2008; Moss *et al.* 2011), but what of older males?** Longevity in males is associated with size (the older the bull, the taller he is), dominance, prolonged musth periods and reproductive success (Hollister-Smith et al. 2007). Until recently, the social life of bulls has drawn less interest from researchers and tourists alike, being viewed as solitary when not having random associations with other bulls or joining female herds for mating opportunities.
The realisation of the importance of the social ecology of male elephants and the role of older males in their society came at a considerable cost when wildlife areas in South Africa, that had introduced young Kruger cull orphans without the social structure of older individuals, lost an incredible amount of rhino due to male adolescent elephant attacks. These young males were hitting puberty and immediately going into musth (a condition not generally experienced until a male elephant is in this mid to late twenties) as there were no older bulls to suppress it.
Coming into premature musth, they sought out reproduction opportunities, and when the young female elephants showed no interest they turned their attention to rhinos; these unusual interactions turned aggressive which often resulted in the death of the rhino. The introduction of older bulls into these areas soon put a stop to most of this delinquent behaviour (Slotow *et al.* 2000; Slotow & van Dyk 2001).
This period of adolescence is one of enormous change for young males, hitting puberty at the average age of 14 years (Short, Mann & Hay 1967; Lee 1986) and becoming independent of their herd by their early twenties (Poole 1989). It is a time of transition for bulls from leaving their herd to joining bull society.
Not only are they leaving their natal herd, but they are also leaving their natal area (Moss 1988), and so the knowledge of where to go for food and water  which they will have learned during their time with their herd  will be of limited use to them as they explore new areas.
How best do you learn where resources are in these new areas? Perhaps the easiest way to learn is from those that have thrived there  the larger, and therefore older, bulls that show by their physical presence that they know where good resources are.
![Elephant herd at river](https://africageographic.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/2013-02-029.jpg)
Image source: Dr Kate Evans, Elephants for Africa
Our studies on male elephants in the Okavango Delta and subsequently the Makgadikgadi Pans National Park in Botswana has shown that male elephants are selective of who they spend time with, choosing to be in groups with males of a similar age (Evans & Harris 2008) which, when you are trying to assert yourself in your new social network, would be the best place to be as these are the individuals with whom you want to establish the social hierarchy.
Not only do they choose which age groups to hang out with they are also selective of the individual they spend time with, forming bonds with particular individuals (Pitfield 2017). However, when we looked at who their nearest neighbours were when in all-male groups, we found that males of all ages prefer to be closest to those in the older age classification (>36 years of age) those that are often referred to as past their reproductive prime and surplus to the biological needs of the population.
Our research in the Okavango Delta was focused in a bull area, with the majority of sightings being of males and a healthy population of older individuals. However, this changed over time with the western Delta becoming wetter from 2008 onwards, with more permanent water resources becoming available and an increase in females. We then started seeing less of the older males and wondered where they were going.
Males are often referred to as higher risk-takers and more exploratory, and thus it is no surprise that it is the males that are leading the way of the expansion of the Botswana elephants into historical rangelands.
At the same time, we noticed the large bulls were frequenting our study area in the western Delta less, and reports were coming to us about large aggregations of males in the Makgadikgadi Pans National Park, south of the Delta.
In 2012 we moved to this area to retain our focus on bull elephant ecology in a bull area  to further our understanding of bull social ecology and the role of bull areas and to address the increasing issue of human-elephant competition in the area.
In 2009, the Boteti River started to flow again after a hiatus of some 18 years, this vital resource of water drew in elephants and other wildlife, alongside the human population. While an obvious valuable physical resource for elephants, it soon became apparent that it serves as an important social resource, with male elephants spending a lot of time here interacting with other males (not just drinking and bathing), with aggregations of 100 males not an uncommon sighting.
![Elephant crossing over fence](https://africageographic.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/imj_14-09-015.jpg)
© Jess Isden
Here the majority of our sightings are of male elephants (98% of all sightings), and again we are seeing that the older bulls are playing an essential role in bull society. It may well be that these large numbers at the river allow them to select who to hang out with. Given the close proximity to community lands, and the predominance of older bulls raiding the crops (Stevens 2018), it may also be that younger bulls are learning the value of human habitation to their dietary requirements by spending time with these older males.
The management and conservation of elephants is always a hot topic of debate, from the effects of large offtake due to poaching and or management strategies, which individuals to hunt and who to translocate. Historically these decisions have been based purely on numbers with herd integrity being taken into account in later years.
As we learn more about the social requirements of male elephants, we must consider these in the management and conservation decisions we make; the importance of the older individual to normal society and the importance of bonds in the stability of populations.
---
**Referenes**
• Evans, K. & Harris, S. (2008). Adolescence in male African elephants, *Loxodonta africana*, and the importance of sociality. **76**, 779-787
• Foley, C., Pettorelli, N, & Foley, L. (2008) Severe drought and calf survival in elephants. Biology Letters **4**(5) 541-544
• Hollister-Smith, J., Poole, J.H., Archie, E.A., Vance, E.A., Georgiadis, N.J., Moss, C.J. & Alberts, S.C. (2007). Age, musth and paternity success in wild male elephants, *Loxodonta africana*. *Animal Behaviour*, **74,** 287-296
• Lee, P.C. (1986) Early social development among African elephant calves. *National Geographic Research,* **2**, 388-401.
• McComb, K., Moss, C., Durant, S.M., Baker, L. & Sayialel, S. (2001) Matriarchs as repositories of social knowledge in African elephants. *Science,* **292**, 491-494.
• Moss, C. (1988) *Elephant Memories*. The University of Chicago Press, Chicago, USA.
• Moss, C. J., Harvey C., & Lee, P.C. eds. (2011) The Amboseli elephants: a long-term perspective on a long-lived mammal. *University of Chicago Press* 
• Pitfield, A.R. (2017) *The social and environmental factors affecting the life of bull African elephants (*Loxodonta africana*) in a bull area a social network analysis*. MSc Thesis. University of Bristol. pp87
• Poole, J.H. (1989) Announcing intent: the aggressive state of musth in African elephants. *Animal Behaviour*, **37**, 140-152.
• Short, R.V., Mann, T. & Hay, M.F. (1967) Male reproductive organs of the African elephant. *Journal of Reproductive Fertility*, **13**, 517-536.
• Slotow, R. & Van Dyk, G. (2001) Role of delinquent young “orphan” male elephants in high mortality of white rhinoceros in Pilanesberg National Park, South Africa. *Koedoe,* **44**, 85-94.
• Slotow, R., Balfour, D. & Howison, O. (2001) Killing of black and white rhinoceroses by African elephants in Hluhluwe-Umfolozi Park, South Africa. *Pachyderm*, **31**, 14-20.
• Stevens, J. (2018) Understanding human-elephant interactions in and around Makgadikgadi Pans National Park, Botswana. PhD Thesis, University of Bristol. pp243
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Tag: ["🧪", "🌍", "🇬🇱", "☀️"]
Date: 2023-09-01
DocType: "WebClipping"
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TimeStamp: 2023-09-01
Link: https://www.washingtonpost.com/climate-environment/interactive/2023/greenland-ice-sheet-drilling-bedrock-sea-rise/
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Read:: [[2023-09-18]]
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# Buried under the ice
A thin, dark fracture had appeared deep in the ice, making it impossible to drill. The teams engineers were trying to repair the hole, but it was far from clear whether the fix would work. Schaefers hopes — and research that could help predict the fate of [Greenlands ice sheet](https://www.washingtonpost.com/climate-environment/2022/08/29/greenland-ice-sheet-sea-level/) and its contribution to [rising seas](https://www.washingtonpost.com/climate-environment/2023/04/10/sea-level-rise-southern-us/) — clung to the smallest possible chance that the team might still find what they came for.
Now, Schaefer would have to leave with his mission unfinished. A family emergency had called him home to New York, and a helicopter was waiting to take him back to civilization.
“The timing feels completely wrong,” said Schaefer, a climate geochemist at the Lamont-Doherty Earth Observatory and the lead investigator for the project known as [GreenDrill.](https://greendrill-cosmo.ldeo.columbia.edu/) “We have been working toward getting that bedrock for literally years. … Its pretty heartbreaking now to leave.”
A view of the edge of the Greenland ice sheet June 1, 2023 in the vicinity of Prudhoe Dome, Greenland. (Sarah Kaplan/The Washington Post)
Joerg Schaefer before departing the Agile Sub-Ice Geological (ASIG) drill camp.
A helicopter is used to transfer supplies from the Winkie drill camp to the ASIG drill camp.
The drilling expedition this spring was only the third time in history that researchers had tried to extract rock from deep beneath Greenlands ice. Scientists have less material from under the ice sheet than they do from the surface of the moon. But Schaefer believes the uncharted landscape is key to understanding Greenlands past and to forecasting the future of the [warming Earth.](https://www.washingtonpost.com/climate-environment/2023/07/12/climate-change-flooding-heat-wave-continue/)
[The Greenland Ice Sheet](https://www.washingtonpost.com/climate-environment/2023/01/18/greenland-hotter-temperatures/?utm_source=twitter&utm_campaign=wp_main&utm_medium=social) contributes more to rising oceans than any other ice mass on the planet. If it all disappeared, it would raise global sea levels by [24 feet](https://nsidc.org/learn/parts-cryosphere/ice-sheets/ice-sheet-quick-facts), devastating coastlines that are home to about half the worlds population. Yet computer simulations and modern observations alone cant precisely predict how Greenland might melt. Researchers are still unsure whether [rising temperatures](https://www.washingtonpost.com/climate-environment/2023/08/03/july-blows-away-temperature-records-testing-key-climate-threshold/) have already pushed the ice sheet into irreversible decline.
![](https://gfx-data.news-engineering.aws.wapo.pub/ai2html/greendrill/DTD3QNLVQBCCHGXNUWXUK32PLQ/locator-greenland-xxsmall.png?v=13)
GREENLAND
Greenlands bedrock holds the ground truth, Schaefer said. The ancient stone that underlies the island is solid, persistent and almost unmovable. It was present the last time the [ice sheet completely disappeared](https://www.washingtonpost.com/climate-environment/2023/07/20/greenland-ice-melt-history-global-warming/), and it still contains chemical signatures of how that melt unfolded. It can help scientists figure out how drastically Greenland may change in the face of todays rising temperatures. And that, in turn, can help the world prepare for the sea level rise that will follow.
Schaefer trudged to the drill tent to say goodbye. Inside, four engineers were troubleshooting yet another problem with their massive machine.
“So, youre leaving us?” asked Tanner Kuhl, the projects lead driller.
“Im not thrilled about it,” Schaefer said. He clapped Kuhl on the shoulder. “Keep fighting.”
The team was running out of time and money to get through the last 390 feet of ice. Success would require drilling faster than they ever had before. But no one was prepared to give up not yet. Too much had been invested in their five-year, multimillion-dollar project to collect bedrock samples from around Greenland. Too much was at stake, as human-made pollution [warms the Arctic](https://www.washingtonpost.com/climate-environment/2023/06/06/arctic-sea-ice-melting/) at a pace never seen before.
Reluctantly, Schaefer clambered into the helicopter. He watched as the ground fell away, and the GreenDrill encampment shrank to a tiny splotch of color amid the endless white.
He could only imagine what secrets lay beneath that frozen surface. He could only hope — for his own sake, and for the planets — that those secrets would someday be known.
The morning of Schaefers arrival on the ice sheet, three weeks earlier, was luminous and still. Barely a breeze jostled the helicopter that carried him to the field camp in northwest Greenland. Beneath him, the glittering expanse of the Prudhoe Dome ice cap resembled the ocean: Beautiful. Mysterious. Mind-bendingly huge.
Theoretically, Schaefer had already grasped this. The domes size was one reason it had been selected as a GreenDrill sampling site — the first of three strategic locations around Greenland where he and his colleagues planned to drill for bedrock samples over the next few years. Yet Schaefer was still stunned as the helicopter touched down on the domes summit. Despite a decades-long career in polar science, this was his first time on an ice sheet.
“Its a monster,” he thought. Schaefer tried to imagine all that ice melting and flowing into the ocean. The catastrophic possibility made him shiver.
He knew that such a disaster had happened before. In 2016, Schaefer and his close colleague Jason Briner, GreenDrills co-director and a geology professor at the University at Buffalo, were part of a team that analyzed the single bedrock sample that had been previously collected from beneath the thickest part of the ice sheet. The rock contained chemical signatures showing it had been exposed to the sky in the past 1.1 million years. In a [paper they published](https://cosmo.ldeo.columbia.edu/sites/default/files/content/Publications/Schaefer%20et%20al.%20-%202016%20-%20Greenland%20was%20nearly%20ice-free%20for%20extended%20periods%20during%20the%20Pleistocene.pdf) in the journal Nature, the scientists concluded that almost all of Greenland — including regions now covered by ice more than a mile deep — must have melted at least once within that time frame.
“That was a game changer,” said Neil Glasser, a glaciologist at Aberystwyth University who has followed Schaefers research. “It said that the Greenland ice sheet is far more dynamic than we had ever thought.”
Camp Manager Troy Nave provides ground support for supplies transferred via helicopter from the Winkie Camp to the ASIG drill camp.
Gear boxes at the ASIG drill camp.
Driller Forest Rubin Harmon clears snow outside the ASIG drill tent.
The findings ran counter to many scientists belief that Greenland has been relatively stable throughout recent geologic history, as the Earth oscillated between ice ages and milder warm periods known as [interglacials.](https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/energy-environment/wp/2015/07/09/why-the-earths-past-has-scientists-so-worried-about-sea-level-rise/) If the ice sheet could melt at a time when global temperatures never got much higher than they are now, it was a worrying harbinger of what ongoing human-caused warming might bring.
For Schaefer and Briner, the discovery also underscored how bedrock could complement findings from [ice cores](https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/2019/national/science/arctic-sea-ice-expedition-to-study-climate-change/) — the long slices of frozen material that had traditionally been the focus of polar science. For decades, scientists had studied air bubbles trapped in ice to uncover crucial clues about the climate at the time the ice formed.
Yet ice cores, by their very nature, could only reveal what happened during the colder phases of Earths history. They couldnt answer what Schaefer said is arguably the most important question facing humanity now: “What happened when it got warm?”
With GreenDrill — which is funded by the U.S. National Science Foundation — he and Briner aimed to open up a new kind of record, one that didnt melt away. By collecting bedrock samples from around the island, they could gain a clearer picture of exactly when the ice sheet last vanished and what parts of Greenland melted first.
But to get those rocks, they would need to survive for more than a month in one of the most remote and hostile places on Earth.
The effort was shaping up to be harder than anyone had anticipated. It took seven plane trips for the team to haul GreenDrills equipment onto the ice sheet. Twice they were delayed by blizzards. Then a windstorm halted work on the drill for three full days.
The scientists who oversaw camp setup — Lamont Doherty geologist Nicolás Young and University at Buffalo PhD student Caleb Walcott — already looked exhausted as they welcomed Schaefer to the ice.
They watched Schaefers helicopter depart in a whirl of windblown snow. Then Young and Walcott led him to one of about a dozen yellow tents that had been staked onto the ice — Schaefers home for the next three weeks. Its insulated double walls were designed to keep temperatures inside just above freezing. A cot lined with an inflatable sleeping pad would keep him off the frigid tent floor.
Next door stood the larger kitchen tent, which was equipped with propane stoves and a single space heater — the only heat source they would have on the ice. The nearby storage tent was stocked with hundreds of pounds worth of beans, granola bars and other nonperishable foods.
Dozens of green, black and red flags marked paths through the camp; in case a blizzard made it hard to see their tents, the team members were to follow the flags to safety.
As they headed toward the drill tent, Schaefer heard the growl of engines and the whine of machinery. Yet he was unprepared for what he saw when he peered inside.
The machine was state of the art; whereas older drills would take years to cut through 1,600 feet of ice, [ASIG](https://icedrill.org/equipment/agile-sub-ice-geological-drill) could achieve the same feat in a matter of weeks. It was one of few drills in the world that could extract bedrock from deep beneath an ice sheet. Yet it had been used successfully just once before, and never in Greenland.
For the first time but not the last — Schaefer found himself wondering, “What on Earth did we do to get this enterprise up here?”
“Maybe something goes wrong?” he thought. “Maybe we dont get through this ice.”
But he was reassured by the unflagging support of the National Science Foundation and the unflappable competence of the GreenDrill team. Briner, the projects co-director, was a leading scholar of Arctic ice. Kuhl, an engineer with the U.S. Ice Drilling Program, had overseen the only other successful ASIG project, in Antarctica. His partner, Richard Erickson, had more than two decades of experience in minerals drilling. The camp manager, technician Troy Nave, had spent a combined 34 months living at the poles.
And then there was Allie Balter-Kennedy, Schaefers former PhD student who had defended her dissertation just a month earlier. Though she was many years his junior, Balter-Kennedy had spent much more time doing remote field work. It was she who explained to Schaefer how to stay warm at night — by sticking a bottle of boiling water in his sleeping bag — and who tempered his frustration every time a storm threw a wrench in their plans.
“They are just the ultimate professionals,” Schaefer often said of his colleagues. If any group could pull off such a far-fetched experiment, he thought, this one would.
When Schaefer thought about the research that had led him to this remote corner of the planet, it struck him as something out of a fairy-tale.
The story began a long time ago, in a distant corner of the universe, amid the death throes of ancient suns.
When stars explode, they send sprays of high energy particles into the cosmos. A few of these cosmic rays are able to make it through Earths atmosphere and reach the ground below. And when those particles encounter rocks, they can interact with certain elements to create rare chemicals called cosmogenic nuclides.
These nuclides accumulate in surface rocks at predictable rates. Some are also radioactive, and they decay into new forms on distinctive timelines. This allows scientists to use them as molecular clocks. By counting the numbers of nuclides within a rock, scientists can tell how long it has been exposed to cosmic ray bombardment. And by comparing the ratios of various decaying elements, they can determine when ice began to block the rocks view of the sky.
With this technique, ordinary rocks are transformed into something almost fantastic. They are witnesses, capable of remembering history that occurred long before any humans were around to record it. They are messengers, carrying warnings of how the ice — and the Earth — could yet transform.
“Its like a magic lamp,” Schaefer said. “Its pretty crazy that a little piece of rock can tell you the story of this massive sheet of ice.”
Camp manager Troy Nave gathers snow that he will melt into water for drinking and washing.
Schaefer, second from left, laughs with glacial geologist Allie Balter-Kennedy.
But cosmogenic nuclides are difficult to study; Schaefer had spent much of his career helping to develop the equipment and techniques needed to detect a few tiny nuclides in a piece of ancient rock.
And — as Schaefer was now learning — rocks from [beneath an ice sheet](https://www.washingtonpost.com/climate-environment/2021/03/15/greenland-ice-sheet-more-vulnerable/) are immensely challenging to obtain.
Days at the GreenDrill field camp began at 6:30 a.m., as Schaefer woke to the sound of engineers turning on the ASIG generators. He dressed quickly in the cold, and grabbed coffee and breakfast in the kitchen tent. With a satellite phone, he checked in with the National Science Foundation support team and got an updated weather forecast: Usually windy. Sometimes snowy. Almost always well below zero degrees Fahrenheit.
Then he bundled back up and headed outside to start work.
Until the drillers hit bedrock, the scientists primary task was to collect the ice chips pushed up by the Isopar drilling fluid. Schaefer, Young and Balter-Kennedy took turns scooping the ice into small plastic bottles. Back at their lab, they would analyze those samples for clues about Greenlands temperature history — research that would complement their bedrock analysis.
The rest of their time was spent shoveling in a Sisyphean effort to keep the camp from being buried by the endlessly swirling windblown snow.
Fifteen miles away, Briner and his student Walcott had set up another camp closer to the edge of the ice sheet. There, the team was using a smaller [Winkie drill](https://icedrill.org/equipment/winkie-drill) to collect a second sample from beneath a much thinner part of the ice cap.
In each sample, the team planned to analyze as many as six different cosmogenic nuclides, but they would focus on two: beryllium-10 and aluminium-26.
When cosmic rays strike a rock, radioactive aluminum accumulates at a much faster rate than beryllium. Yet aluminum-26 also decays faster once the rock has been covered up by ice. If a sample has relatively little aluminum-26 compared to beryllium-10, it suggests that site has been buried under ice for hundreds of thousands of years. But if Schaefer and Briner found a high ratio of aluminum-26 to beryllium-10, it would mean the site had been ice-free in the more recent past.
With that analysis, the researchers would then be able to compare the exposure histories of each drilling site. They could determine how much warming it previously took for the ice sheet to retreat the 15 miles between Winkie and ASIG, which would give them a sense of how fast Prudhoe Dome might disappear someday.
“Thats a really important element of GreenDrill,” Briner said. “Were drilling more than one site so we can look at different parts of the ice sheet … and we can ask, What does it say about the shape of the whole ice sheet if this part is gone?’”
Shovels at the ASIG drill camp.
Schaefer organizes supplies.
The drill tent at the ASIG camp. Scientists would have to drill through about 1,600 feet of ice to reach the bedrock below.
As Schaefer settled into the rhythm of camp, his body adjusted to the incessant polar sunlight and the relentless manual labor, leaving his mind free to wander. Often, he found himself fixating on the ice sheet — its incomprehensible vastness, its unfathomable fragility. How could something this immense and forbidding be so vulnerable? How could a landscape so obviously capable of killing a person be at risk because of humanity?
Yet in the years since Schaefer and Briner published their 2016 paper, Greenlands vulnerability had become more and more clear. This year was shaping up to be one of the islands worst, with melting in the southern part of the ice sheet [on track to set a new record](https://nsidc.org/greenland-today/).
Meanwhile, research showed how the melting process is self-reinforcing: Dark pools of water on Greenlands surface absorbed the suns heat, rather than reflecting it. The diminishing height of the ice sheet exposes the surface to the warmer air at lower altitudes. If the ice shrinks far enough, it could enable the rising ocean to infiltrate the center of the island, which is below sea level. That warmer water would melt the ice sheet from below, accelerating its decline.
Under the worst case warming scenarios, the melting Greenland ice sheet [is expected to contribute as much as half a foot to global sea level rise](https://www.ipcc.ch/report/ar6/wg1/downloads/report/IPCC_AR6_WGI_Chapter_09.pdf) by the end of the century. It would swamp Miami, submerge Lagos and deluge Mumbai. In New York City, where Schaefer lives with his wife and two children, coastal flooding would inundate the subways, destroy sewers and power plants and wash away peoples homes.
This knowledge made Schaefers quest feel less like a fairy-tale than a medical drama — an urgent effort to understand the sickest part of Earths embattled climate system.
“We are basically taking biopsies,” he said, “which will hopefully tell us how sensitive the patient is to ongoing warming — and how much warming is fatal.”
As soon as he saw the looks on the drillers faces, Schaefer realized something had gone terribly wrong.
For three weeks, theyd been making slow but steady progress through the ice sheet, reaching nearly 1,300 feet below the surface. But suddenly, the pressure in the borehole started to drop. The Isopar wasnt able to push the ice chips up through the drill rod, and Kuhl feared the fluid must be leaking through a crack in the hole.
Schaefer knew the word “fracture” was like “Voldemort” the name of the villain in the “Harry Potter” series. Like the name, a fracture inspired so much dread that the scientists avoided even mentioning it.
Yet there was no denying the thin, dark fissure in the ice that appeared about 250 feet down when Schaefer dropped a camera into the borehole. His heart sank. If they couldnt find a way to isolate the fracture, they wouldnt be able to maintain enough pressure to push chips out of the hole, and drilling would grind to a halt.
The fracture in the ice was spotted about 250 feet below the surface.
![](https://wp-stat.s3.amazonaws.com/2023/anthropocene/line-top-left-new.png)
“Basically game over,” Schaefer wrote in his waterproof field notebook.
He went to bed that night with his mind racing. The fracture shouldnt have happened, he thought. Ice was supposed to be able to withstand pressures far greater than what Kuhl and Erickson were using. Did this mean the ASIG drill didnt work as well in Greenland? Would it threaten all of the other drilling they had planned?
The next morning, he woke to the howling of the wind.
High winds at GreenDrills ASIG drill camp during the middle of the night. In summer, the sun never sets.
Another unseasonable blizzard had descended on Prudhoe Dome, blotting out the endless icescape with an impenetrable cloud of white. When Schaefer peered out of his tent, he could barely see the colored safety flags that were supposed to guide him through camp.
The team gathered in the kitchen tent, listening to the eerie whistle of snow blowing over ice and the snapping of flags in 50 miles-per-hour gusts.
Schaefer got a satellite message from Briner: Conditions were even worse at the Winkie Camp, where the fierce wind had ripped a hole in their kitchen tent, scattering supplies and burying cooking equipment in snow.
It wasnt safe to work on the fracture. It wasnt safe to even be outside for more than a few seconds. All they could do was wait for the storm to end.
Schaefer tried to combat the growing worry that he had led his team into disaster. He had underestimated the complexity of drilling through so much ice. He hadnt reckoned with the possibility of so much bad weather.
In his lowest moments, it felt as though Greenland had been conspiring against him.
But after three days, the wind finally died down. The air cleared. And Kuhl had come up with a plan to fix the fracture.
The engineers could deepen the upper part of the borehole, which was sealed with the aluminum casing, so that the casing extended to cover up the crack. They could also switch the way Isopar circulated through the borehole to minimize pressure on the ice.
It took the drill team two days to make the repair. A week after the fracture first appeared, they tried refilling the borehole with fluid. It held. The project was still alive but just barely.
Schaefer got more good news the following ­day, when Briner arrived from the Winkie camp.
“I brought you a present,” Briner said, grinning. He opened a long cardboard box to reveal 79 inches of sediment and pebbles mixed with chunks of a large bolder. Despite the blizzard, the Winkie team was able to extract their rock core from beneath 300 feet of ice.
“Are you kidding me?” Schaefer gasped. The sediments could include traces of plants and other clues to the [ancient Greenlandic environment.](https://www.washingtonpost.com/climate-environment/2022/12/07/greenland-dna-study-mastodon/) And the boulder pieces contained plenty of quartz — perfect for cosmogenic nuclide analysis. It would give the team crucial clues about what had happened at the ice sheets vulnerable outermost edge.
Schaefer reached out to shake hands with Elliot Moravec, the lead Winkie driller. “Thank you man,” he said. “Thats a really great sample.”
Detail of a core sample from the Winkie drill camp.
Jason Briner, center, shows core samples from the Winkie drill camp to Balter-Kennedy, left, and Schaefer.
Briner carries core samples as he departs the Winkie drill camp on the edge of the ice sheet.
With the Winkie core in hand, Moravec and his partner Forest Rubin Harmon were also free to help Kuhl and Erickson keep the ASIG machinery running.
Yet now the team had another enemy: time. There was less than a week until they were supposed to start taking down the camp. They also had to redrill through the frozen ice shavings that fell into the borehole during the repair process. Yet they couldnt go too fast, or they risked triggering another fracture.
“Its slow motion, drilling through the slush,” Kuhl said, shouting over the whine of the drill.
Then the noise stopped. Kuhl and Erickson peered into the borehole: Theyd hit another blockage.
Kuhl grimaced. “Theres almost no chance we get this done now,” he said. “But who knows? Well keep trying and maybe something will work.”
Researchers Joerg Schaefer and Jason Briner confer outside the ASIG drill tent.
By the time Schaefer was set to depart, progress was still painfully slow.
“Leaving these guys alone now feels really shitty,” the scientist said. But his family needed him at home, and flights out of Greenland were so infrequent there was no option for him to take a later plane.
Schaefer shook his head. Three weeks ago, he thought this was a medium-risk, high-reward project that the effort and expense were absolutely justified by the scientific value of the rocks they would uncover.
Now, knowing the true level of risk, facing down the very real probability of failure, he couldnt avoid the question: Was it all worth it?
The Manhattan streets were packed with people, ringing with conversation and birdsong. The air was warm. The late spring breeze was gentle.
Yet Schaefer felt ill at ease as he paced the rooms of his narrow New York apartment. His mind was still 2,500 miles away.
Back at Prudhoe Dome, Balter-Kennedy was overseeing the last-ditch efforts to salvage GreenDrills field season. She sent Schaefer daily updates via satellite messenger, but the news wasnt good. On Friday, the drillers only managed to cut through about 40 feet of ice. On Saturday, they pulled up the entire apparatus and switched to a different type of drill rod — to no avail.
Sunday morning in New York dawned sunny and mild. In Greenland, it was the last day before planes were supposed to start taking their equipment off the ice. The complex operation could not be delayed — and even if that was an option, conditions would soon become too warm for the team to safely drill.
By the time his phone buzzed with Balter-Kennedys regular evening check-in, Schaefer was braced for failure. He had already rehearsed what he would tell the team: This didnt change how hard they worked, or how much he appreciated them. Theyd tried to do something no one had done before. They had learned valuable lessons for next year. And the world desperately needed the information buried beneath Greenlands ice — no matter the risk, their efforts were worth it.
Driller Elliot Moravec keeps systems flowing at the ASIG drill camp.
A 360-degree camera lowered into the ice sheet borehole shows the progress of the ASIG drill. (Joerg Schaefer)
Detail of the control panel for the ASIG drill.
But when Schaefer answered the satellite call, Balter-Kennedy was ecstatic. The team got through more than 150 feet of ice that day — an all-time record for the drill they were using. They were 90 percent of the way to bedrock.
Schaefer felt as though his heart had stopped beating. The rest of the conversation was a blur, as Balter-Kennedy explained how the engineers finally overcame the blockages that had slowed their progress. Erickson, the longtime minerals driller, suggested they try using a drill bit that is usually reserved for rocks. It was an outside-the-box suggestion from someone unaccustomed to drilling through ice — but it worked.
“The ASIG is back in the race,” Schaefer said that night. “And with all the overwhelm and confusion that I have inside me, its clearly much, much better than the big emptiness I would have if it would be called off.”
Still cautious, he added: “Which of course, can still occur. The slightest problem now and its over. But they are within striking distance. It could still happen.”
Nave handles supplies transferred via helicopter from the Winkie drill camp to the ASIG drill camp.
The next day, Schaefer had to hold himself back from bombarding Balter-Kennedy with requests for updates. Instead, his thoughts drifted to the laboratories at Lamont Doherty where his team would analyze the GreenDrill bedrock — if they ever got it.
He could already imagine the steps that would come next.
First, the scientists would slice samples from the main core. Next would be a weeks-long chemical procedure designed to rid the sample of unwanted material, leaving behind only the elements the scientists had chosen to analyze. Finally, the samples would be sent to labs in California and Indiana, where theyd be shot through particle accelerators and weighed to determine the proportion of cosmogenic nuclides.
Within about six months, the GreenDrill team would know when the ASIG bedrock last saw daylight. And those results would illuminate whether Prudhoe Domes future is simply grim — or completely catastrophic.
Schaefer hoped he would find that the ASIG site hadnt been ice-free since the interglacial periods that punctuated the Pleistocene epoch, more than 100,000 years ago. But it was possible that this region melted during the [Holocene,](https://www.episodes.org/journal/view.html?doi=10.18814%2Fepiiugs%2F2008%2Fv31i2%2F016&itid=lk_inline_enhanced-template) the 11,700-year stretch of mild temperatures that began at the end of the last ice age and continues through today.
“That would be another level of devastating,” Schaefer said. Modern temperatures are quickly surpassing anything seen during the Holocene epoch. If Prudhoe Dome couldnt survive those conditions, then under human-caused climate change, it may soon be doomed.
Five days after Schaefers departure, ASIG hit the bottom of the ice sheet — 1,671 feet below the surface. Now the drillers would switch to a bit that could cut cores out of rock, while Balter-Kennedy and Walcott scrambled to pack up the rest of the camp. All Schaefer could do was wait.
He alternated between agitation and exhaustion — first pacing his apartment, then collapsing on the couch, then springing up to pace again. On a whim, he wandered into the soaring Gothic sanctuary of the Cathedral of St. John the Divine. It had been Balter-Kennedys idea: when he complained of his helplessness on one of their satellite calls, she jokingly suggested he could pray for the team.
So, although it had been years since he set foot in a church, he paused to light a candle for GreenDrill.
Departing the ASIG camp. Days later researchers would finally extract more than a dozen feet of bedrock from beneath the ice.
Finally, in the very early hours of Wednesday morning, he got the messages he had been waiting for.
“We have 3 m of bedrock!!!”
“Going down for 4.5 now”
Hands shaking with adrenaline, Schaefer could barely type his response.
“Ukidin?? Not real! Omg! YESYEYES!! WowFantastic!!!U literally change Ice/Sheet Science! All undercyour lead! Thats why u joined!”
“Gogogo!”
A few hours later, Balter-Kennedy called on the satellite phone. In her usual, even-keeled tone, she described how the drillers worked through dinner and deep into the night. They had nearly 10 feet of sediment and another 14.5 feet of pristine bedrock — more material than Schaefer even dreamed was possible.
But when she hurtled into questions about departure logistics, Schaefer interrupted her. He wanted to make sure she had a chance to appreciate the moment. “You guys just opened a new era,” he said.
Afterward, he pulled up the voice notes app on his phone.
“What can I say?” he murmured into the microphone. “Science — its not well paid. It has a lot of problems. But its so fulfilling.”
Schaefer thought of the bedrock that Balter-Kennedy described to him: gorgeous cylinders of pale gray quartz and glittering chunks of garnet. These were their “moon rocks,” he said — the first material from an unexplored landscape.
It seemed fitting that the projects youngest scientists — Balter-Kennedy and Walcott — oversaw the breakthrough. They had poured so much of themselves into this experiment. Their careers, and their lives, would be shaped by what was learned.
And now that GreenDrill had proven it was possible, the next generation of researchers would be able to collect even more samples from underneath the ice. They could peer into history no human had witnessed. They could start asking the questions that only rocks can answer.
What they find will almost certainly be frightening, Schaefer knew. It will shed new light on the [dangers facing humanity](https://www.washingtonpost.com/climate-environment/2023/07/31/july-hottest-month-extreme-weather-future/). It will highlight the urgency of tackling problems science alone cant solve: how to transition away from polluting fossil fuels, how to protect vulnerable people from climate disasters like sea level rise. There was far more work to be done.
But for now, in the darkness of his apartment, he simply basked in the joy of discovery.
“It all worked out,” he said, his voice slurred by tears and exhaustion. “And the entire, the entire —” he paused. “It was worth it.”
Segments of a core sample of bedrock from the ASIG drill camp - now at Lamont-Doherty Earth observatory.
An aerial view of the ASIG drill camp.
##### About this story
The image of the expedition camp, displayed at the beginning of the article, is a composite image based on drone footage. Editing by Katie Zezima, Monica Ulmanu, Joseph Moore, Amanda Voisard, John Farrell and Adrienne Dunn.
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# C.T.E. Study Finds That Young Football Players Are Getting the Disease
They all died young. Most played football. Only a few came close to reaching the pros.
But like hundreds of deceased N.F.L. players — including the Pro Football Hall of Famers Mike Webster, Junior Seau and Ken Stabler — they, too, had C.T.E., the degenerative brain disease linked to repeated hits to the head. For now, it can be positively diagnosed only posthumously.
The brains of Wyatt and 151 other young contact-sport athletes, both men and women, are part of a study recently released by researchers at Boston University.
From a journal entry written by Hunter Foraker:
“I need to remember to ask if I can be tested for borderline personality disorder +/or bipolar disorder. This is because of my extreme highs + lows.”
![](https://static01.nytimes.com/newsgraphics/2023-09-22-cte-young/_images/hunter-2.png)
From lyrics written by Meiko Locksley:
“I remember mental illness had me livin low / I remember thinkin I had to go”
![](https://static01.nytimes.com/newsgraphics/2023-09-22-cte-young/_images/lyrics-meiko-highlight2.png)
Excerpt from an essay written by George Atkinson III:
The families of five of these athletes — Wyatt, Meiko, Hunter and the twin brothers Josh and George — spoke extensively about the downward spirals, the confusing diagnoses and the heartache of loss and regret.
Hunters Parents
![](https://static01.nytimes.com/newsgraphics/2023-09-22-cte-young/_images/foraker-portrait-cc-2.jpg)
Wyatts Parents
![](https://static01.nytimes.com/newsgraphics/2023-09-22-cte-young/_images/bramwell-portrait-cc-2.jpg)
Meikos Parents
![](https://static01.nytimes.com/newsgraphics/2023-09-22-cte-young/_images/locksley-portrait-cc-2.jpg)
Josh and Georges Father
![](https://static01.nytimes.com/newsgraphics/2023-09-22-cte-young/_images/atkinson-portrait-cc-2.jpg)
And they pondered a complicated question, fraught with implications for parents everywhere:
If you could do it again, would you let your child play tackle football?
The answers varied, which gets to the heart of a risk-versus-reward dilemma. There is a line between the love of a game and the dangers it presents, and even those who have lost a child cannot agree where it is.
But as we learn more about what contact sports can do to the brain, it may be harder to justify letting children play.
And when it comes to football in this country, that presents an especially difficult choice.
An American Ritual
It is hard to imagine their childhoods without football. This is America, and football is laced into its cultural soul.
Lives spin around the game: afternoon practices, Friday night games, Saturdays and Sundays spent huddled around televisions.
Start them young in tackle football. Watch their faces as they put on the pads. Watch their helmets jiggle as they run down the field. Watch them collide with the others.
Watch them get up and do it again. And again. And again.
How dangerous could it be? They are so small. So young. So resilient. They seem so happy.
Wyatt Bramwell dreamed of playing football at the University of Missouri and then the N.F.L.
Meiko Locksley was a former college football player and the son of Michael Locksley, who is now the head football coach at the University of Maryland.
Hunter Foraker played at Dartmouth College before quitting over concerns about concussions.
Josh and George Atkinson III were twins who played for the University of Notre Dame. Their father, George Atkinson, is a former Oakland Raiders defensive back known as the “Hit Man.” His sons died by suicide less than a year apart.
All young athletes get hurt. There are times when the situation becomes scary. The crowd moans, then hushes. Coaches and trainers run out. Players silently kneel. Who is hurt? How bad is it?
There is worry, there is empathy, there is relief. The game goes on.
Those are just the injuries that get noticed. There is no counting the ones that dont. Every smack of the head. Every jar of the brain. For some players, maybe most, they may never add up to anything serious, or maybe not for many years.
For others, they multiply quickly.
When is a battered helmet merely the mark of a gritty, hard-hitting player, and when is it a cracked shell hiding something damaged and darker?
He Wasnt the Same Kid
Each athlete had his unique struggles. Most families did not connect the dots to C.T.E., with symptoms that can include impulsivity, moodiness and memory loss.
Meiko Locksley fought deep bouts of paranoia. Wyatt Bramwell was a model student in high school who became uncharacteristically rebellious. Hunter Foraker, haunted by nightmares, abused alcohol as his problems deepened. Josh and George Atkinson III had suicidal thoughts after their mothers death.
The families shared at least one thing: a growing concern that something was wrong with their child. Was it a passing phase or an ominous sign? Was it due to football or something else?
There were desperate searches for answers. Interventions. Professional help. But these were a different kind of sports injury, not the broken bones or the torn ligaments that were relatively easy to diagnose.
In some cases, the kids themselves became worried, wondering what was wrong with their minds. They said so, sometimes to their parents, sometimes to doctors.
Sometimes in a journal or a college essay. Sometimes in song lyrics. Sometimes in suicide notes.
Wyatt Bramwell sent the most direct message, through the video that he recorded on his phone for family and friends moments before he died. All of the families in the study had that sudden, shattering moment. George Atkinson felt it twice: Joshs death by suicide in 2018 and then George IIIs less than a year later.
Amid all the struggles by the young men and their families to try to fix what they could not explain, there came the worst possible news.
We Should Have His Brain Donated
Todays athletes play in an era of heightened awareness of the dangers of concussions and of the cumulative effects of hits to the head.
It is different than 20 years ago, when most research focused on deceased N.F.L. players, including Hall of Famers, whose lives had unraveled because of damage to their brains.
Now, families of young athletes who never came close to fame or fortune are approaching researchers, donating their childrens brains in a desperate search for answers.
A positive C.T.E. diagnosis can be both illuminating and painful.
It can be a relief for a family to have a scientific explanation for the struggles of their child. It can be oddly comforting to know that symptoms may have gotten worse, since C.T.E. is a progressive disease.
But it also may raise more tangled, philosophical questions about what the families might have done differently.
Would I Let Him Play Football Again?
Some families are haunted by regrets and what-ifs. They want others to learn from their loss. But what is the lesson?
For some, answers are hard.
The researchers behind the study of the young athletes believe the more years of tackle football that someone plays, at any age, the higher the likelihood the person will develop C.T.E.
Only a small percentage of youth football players will play in college or in the pros. But as the study shows, they can still become afflicted with C.T.E.
So researchers recommend that families delay the start of tackle football, to limit exposure.
Many of the families from the study now agree. Atkinson, the former Raiders player who still works for the team, thinks tackle football should not be played until high school. So does Kia Locksley, the wife of Marylands coach.
Several parents said that they cringe when they drive past fields of young children who are wearing helmets and pads and tackling one another.
What ties them all together is that their children are gone. And they dont wish that on anyone else.
*If you are having thoughts of suicide, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline or go to* *[SpeakingOfSuicide.com](https://www.speakingofsuicide.com/resources/)* *for a list of additional resources.*
The 152 brains in the Boston University study belonged to contact-sport athletes who died before turning 30. They were donated between 2008 and 2022 to the [UNITE Brain Bank](https://www.bu.edu/cte/brain-donation-registry/brain-bank/).
Additional footage and photography from the Bramwell, Foraker and Locksley families; Getty Images.
Project Credits
### Reporting
Joe Ward
John Branch
Kassie Bracken
### Video Editing
Ben Laffin
Meg Felling
### Cinematography
Alfredo Chiarappa
Andrew Cagle
### Production Manager
Caterina Clerici
### Design and Development
Rebecca Lieberman
### Graphics
Jeremy White
### Editing
Mike Wilson
Hanaan Sarhan
Evan Easterling
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